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! Jonathan Adan,. worth. t,t- J tor o t t E .f- X U ' ' ' Mfr fi . t I ? , 1
t . , " I nis raise teeth and white lawn cravat ; A-3. l vY?b. . S'lltr I I i , " "nw - 4; -4, iji, ' i I " $:t j J
I "Wi-nty," recently graduated from t alK, depo.ltinS them on the tabic v.hi'e I rT""""""-'"" ,u fTrVNi CSZAlt''y1TTTl'ZZ7:, T ' ' t I " X4 - tf C 5-4 I 4 1
I Harvard Medical School, bachelor. the prospecto?. being of an affertlonat ; ""TTTX ' A LITTLE i ! ' c 1 1 ! 1 I 1 I i
i clubman and flmt nnd foremost a I disposition, cuddled up closely and snored 1 ' V 1 ' I tf" V , H " ' ' n V I P -t
t "H.tonlan." vlefu the Artorla peacefully In the unhappy traveler's ear. J 1 ' J 1 JOV OP UREEX 3 3 1 L ,V'1!', I tk I I ' I
rea-tt and write, hi ImpmwIaM I UnhyRienic, to say the least, isn't It. olt J f X ' .f 1 ,! ' S "'i'. ' '-'."rf T'-v ' V$ - 1 W i
t thereof to bin chum. Mlle Standlsh I fellow?' .5 4 S I . V J ' -1 " ' ' 1 1 n . Z 1-4 Va ( .
Chittenden, of Beacon street. , ... I 1 T-,-!;,! 1 Z J ' ' .-f J?'
L.. j The mist gradually dlspel.eda, we I , J Jff A'! fl ' " ,V I' , ,
.ORTI.A.VD, Or.. Sept. 7, 1907. Mv
Dear Stan: Your brief note of last
Saturday just received, and I win
own a sense of guilt at your charge of
negligence in the matter of correspond
ence. Still, when you learn the cause,
I'm quite certain you will regard me
with a greater degree of leniency. To
tell the truth, I am just recuperating
from a severe attack of "Astoriania."
, which is a violent form of Dementia
Americana, peculiar to this locality, and
culminating annually in the regatta held
at Astoria. Or. Nowhere in the United
States. is professional gaiety brought to
such a degree of perfection, and I can
only wish that you had been along to
experience the novel sensations of a first
attack.
5Iy flrst knowledge of the malady was
gained at the University Club here In
Portland, where I was put up and very
pleasantly taken care of by one of our
fellows. We were gathered in the li
brary after dinner one evening, when a
chap from Princeton who had been be
having very decently towards me asked
If I had ever visited the Astoria regatta.
He went on to . explain that It was a
typical Western celebration sort of a
local Mardi Gras and advised me to take
It in.
Astoria. It seems, Is a fishing town of
about 15.000, situated at the mouth of the
s Columbia River, about 100 miles below
Portland. According to the prospectus,
, it is the only official gateway to the
' Orient, but the Portlanders, when they
mention it, call it well, I was always
brought up not to mix in neighborhood
differences of opinion; besides, my vo
cabulary has already been sufficiently
contaminated since I left the Hub. The
prospectus goes on to say that Astoria
owes its fame to old John' Jacob, who
intended it to become the "New York of
the Pacific," but some individual, stirred
possibly by rancor, has suggested that
its widespread rpute might be traced
more directly to its phonetic similarity to
that indispensable article of household
economics "for which children cry," 1
decided, upon the spot, to attend.
Next morning I arose at the unholy
hour of 6:30 o'clock, found that I had
barely time to swallow a cup of coffee,
and rushed for the steamer which was
scheduled to leave at 7. You know for
years our Sunday morning habit of cod
fish cakes and beans, and how It ruf
fles me to have it interfered with. There
may be a respectable baked bean in
Portland, but so far I have been unable
to find It. The sickly attenuated speci
mens which are served you for the real
article can only be surpassed in Inferior
ity by the canned variety which are
sometimes substituted. Add to a meager
breakfast an enforced walk to the dock
with the burden of a heavy suit case.
and supermount these humiliations with
a sight of the steamer Just beyond Jump-
ing distance, and you have my mental
ttitude. This last misfortune, however,
proved a blessing in disguise, for on in-.-juii-y
I found a comfortable launch, which
was going down, and on asking permis
sion to go along was welcomed with a
i ivarmth of courtesy that went a long
ways to re-establishing my faith in my
lucky star.
This faith was strengthened when one
of my fellow passengers related his ex
perience on th night steamer a week
previous, it seems that he had not re
served a berth and was obliged to sleep
on the floor under one of the tables in
. tha dining-room, wUJ a Methodist pa,r
Dear Stan: Your brief note of last boat, towed by a : por tender. The I' 1 ff 'MEM M H B.I I " . ' T , "
The mist gradually dispelled as we
slipped down the river and before long
we had overhauled one of the racing
boats towed by a power tender. The
most conspicuous feature of this en
counter was the display of yellow jer
seys and muscular "limbs enough to ex
cite the envy of a professional acrobat.
Shortly afterwards we ourselves were
subjected to the humiliation of being
overhauled by a trim speed boat of
graceful lines which passed by us as
though we were fast to a snag. Our re
venge came In good season, when we ov
ertook them drawn up on shore and la
boringwith a choice assortment of pro
fanityover a balky engine. A striking
example, my boy, of the hare and the
tortoise.
The most illuminating experience of
the day, however, was the amount of
gastronomic pleasure which may' be ex
tracted from an expenditure of a quar
teror as they call It here two bits,,
when accentuated by this bracing Oregon
atmosphere. We were Informed by the
solitary lounger on the wharf of the lit
tle town where we went ashore for din
ner that the sheriff had closed one of the
two only restaurants in town and that
the proprietor of the other had gone to
Portland for a square meal. We were
directed, however, to a private house
where the homely fare found me in a
most responsive mood. On the way back
to the boat we came across a pear tree
in which were suspended some huge cir
cular bits of tin. These, we were in
formed, were used by the birds as look
ing glass, to detract their- attention
from the ripened fruits. I will confess to
you that I am somewhat dubious of the
veracity of the explanation.
With the soothing effects of our hearty
dinner and a post prandial pipe, time
slipped plaasantly by until a certain
irregular motion on the part of our lit
tle craft gave indication of the tide which
rushes in over Astoria bar. Altering our
course ' to cross the river to Tongue
Point which lies Just above Astoria, the
full force of the northwesterly afternoon
breeze caught us full amidships. I've
ridden over corduroy roads and I've es
sayed to stay on the back of a farm
horse, but for the real pea-ln-a-gourd
sensation, give me Astoria harbor and a
35-horsepower launch to buck the .wind
and tide. There wasn't a dry eye in the
house as they say of the melodrama and
by the time we rounded the point at
least a portion of those marvelous two-bit
dinners had been fed to the famous Co
lumbia River salmon.
'
After awhile we drew up alongside the
dock and made fast to an abandoned pile
driver. We had intended to sleep on
board, but the bedding had been drenched,
so after making all snug we ambled
ashore. Talk about a mob! Why, there
were more people than you'll see in the
stadium all next football season. They
reminded one of a bunch of bees, each
one trying to light on the same spot and
then flying busily away as soon as ihey
have attained It. We searched all over
town before we could find a place to sleep
Did I say sleep? At Astoria there "s no
sleep during regatta week for either the
Just or unjust. Finally we were packed
away in the least possible space. I
suppose the canning industry is largely
responsible for the skill with which a
huge crowd of visitors is disposed of In
the prospective New York of the Pacific.
Then we went for something to eat. Three
hours later we got it or as much of it
as had been left by those who got in on
the ground floor. The service was what
might be called in mild language rotten.
Four separate times I ventured to ask for
a spoon before I could get it, but finally
our hunger was subdued, if not satisfied.
we had nvrh,I.J ,. .v,. I Ii . - -'Si. . ' .. S.'.W HI jKrnu-imimia 14 v V ' J - - . 3
and we went home to our "downy cots,"
at least. mlna. hr oka down. in. tha. course.
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND, SEPTEMBER 15, 1907.
'I kV ' ' '4t Is l( WLBctTFS yvLTNGsmps witpe: interested. 1
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of the night, but I was so atigued that I
kept right on Bleeping, imagining all the
time that I was trying to hold down the
side of a hill.
How can I describe to you the regatta
so you may see it as I saw it? In the
first place. I suppose they call it "re
gatta" because there is so little that re
sembles real yacht racing. Imagine a
regatta at Newport or Marblehead made
LUP of a cquntryf&ir1abaJ?y-ihow1 ball
games, parades, ' a convention of country
editors, a Norwegian Saengerfeat and
balloon ascensions. You know what a
stickler old Van de Puyster is for nau
tical etiquette. How he would writhe
under such a mixture! But I will con
fess I enjoyed it heartily, and so, appar
ently, did every one of that motley crowd
which gathers each year from all along
the Coast to help celebrate these festivi
ties. The central figure of this carnival jg the
queen, who on this occasion was brought
to her throne in a grandstand built on
the waterfront by a band of vikings.
True the captious onlooker might have
observed a suspicious rcsor.iblance in the
'inderbody of the ancient Norwegian barge
o a tugboat of more recent design, but
when one realized that the hearty song
of homage which rose from full a hundred
'usty throats was in the tongue of those
hardy Norsemen, that the blood of those
ancient hetoes might still be traced in
the veins of the queen's vassals, whose
broad sweeps brought the unique craft to
the float, it was a good bit more stirring
than it looks here in prosaic ink. The
queen herself was a most regal-looking
young lady, whose comprehension of the
somewhat exacting demands of her unique
position assisted mightily In the success
of the pageant. Her royal car, trimmed
with blue hydrangeas, equaled any of the
decorations that I ever saw at the coach
ing parade up at the old Twin Mountain.
As for the maids of honor well, old
chap, knowing your desire to remain in
the by-paths of single blessedness, I
hasten to advise you to keep away from
Astoria on regatta week.
The Westerner, I am convinced, is more
like a Child in his enjoyment of the spec
tacular than our own immediate neigh
bors. The sight of gold braid is life unto
his nostrils, but as most all of the Pacific
Coast is merely the most progressive part
of Bostom New York and Michigan trans
planted, it must be something in the. at
mosphere. By the way, this atmosphere
is a most delightfully uncertain quantity.
How the pater would gloat over the possi
bilities of the barometer. You know what
a source of satisfaction it is to him to
make his matutinal visit and speculate
upon the outcome, or try to reconcile the
difference between his instrument and the
Transcript of the evening before. One
day of Astoria weather would keep father
mentally satiated for six months.
But I started to tell you about the
yacht racing. I can imagine the dis
gust on the face of old Cap Collier,
whom you remember as builder and
designer of that ancient, deep-chested
ark, the Lucy J., at what he would
probably describe as a slab sided shin
gle, which a feller couldn't tell ez how
she were headed north or south ef it
warn't a movin' in that direckshun.
"But the boys who sail these boats
know their business and while it is al
most Impossible to see what enjoyment
can be derived from pounding into a
half gale with a lightly constructed
skimming dish, it certainly affords en
tertainment to the spectators. I will
confess to a certain setae of disap
pointment in not finding what we
would term down east, the true sport
ing spirit in these contests. There is
a feeling of commercialism, a degree
of selfish consideration that will ma
terially hamper the progress of the
yachting game in the' west unless it is
remedied. Certainly this is unfortu
nate, for nowhere could more of the
right kind of interest be stimulated
than on the Columbia river and the
vicinity, were the delights of real yacht
racing more fully appreciated. This
even holds true of the fishermen,
whose strongly constructed, spirlt-sall
keel boats contrast vividly, with the
scows which pose as yachts. There are
something like 1400 of these flshboats
employed here in the salmon fishing
Industry and to see a race among their
daring skippers is to witness as pretty
a spectacle as the eye of a yacutsman
would care to look upon.
a ,
There1 will not be room here to tell
you as much as I would have liked
about the population of this town of
Astoria or the natural advantages to
which the visitor's attention is called
as soon as he strikes town by the om
nipresent booster. I honestly believe
you'll see more foreigners on Astoria's
streets than you will on Third avenue.
New York. I counted 20 nationalities
represented in the big parade and had
you been here you could have seen a
row of six Chinamen smile with almost
human intelligence as a tiny boy of 4
clad in the national tunic And flowing
How Divers Are Trained
THE Admiralty trains divers and every
British warship carries at least one
representative of the craft and frequently
more. There are training schools at
Portsmouth, Devonport and Sheerness.
One of the difficulties with which divers
have to contend is probably not realized
by a landsman, namely, that the greater
the depth the greater is the pressure of
water on the man's body and the greater
the labor and exhaustion of working. The
naval authorities limit their men to a
depth of 120 feet. The greatest depth to
which a man has descended is said by
Siebe to have been 204 feet, and the press
ure at that depth was extraordinary,
namely,. 88V, pounds to the square inch.
One wonders how any human being could
stand it. Twelve fathoms, or about 70
feet, would be enough for most men. The
ears and nose would probably begin to
bleed and the pressure on the head would
be very Berious. A practiced diver can, of
course, descend much deeper without
such unpleasant sensations.
His dress costs more than a hundred
pounds; it is of tanned twill and rubber
and made in one piece, with a big open
ing at the neck. The helmet is of copper
and screws on to the shoulders so tightly
that the water cannot penetrate the joint.
Air Is pumped down to him by a pipe
made of canvas and rubber, and outlet
valves, which only open outwardly, are
placed at convenient places to permit the
trousers of Greece toddled by to thi
strains of "The Star-Spangled Ban
ner." Six different nations settled th
question of supremacy in a tug; of war
and parted the best of friends.
Astoria is a city of wood built over
tide water. They will point out to f
you a small lagoon where In a few
months there will be a seven-story f
hotel. You may wander to the placet j:
where a few weeks ago the roulettfV
wheel never ceased to whirr and yoi
could get up against any brand of carl
game your fancy happened to dictate 1
Today one-half the town gloats upor i
this moral victory and the other hall I
shakes its head and predicts financial
ruin. The country fair affords gllmpset,
of agrarian monstrosities that would
make our New England farmer accuse
you of unmitigated prevarication and
the complexions of the ladles bear elo
quent testimony to the beneficial ef
fects of the moist air. No amount of
growth will ever make a New York
out of Astoria. There is but one orig
inal and only New York, but flying
under its own colors the little city
will undoubtedly win attention and
gold from that effete East, whose bank
accounts they admire while they decry
their lack of "Western spirit." Trust
ing to hear from you soon and hoping
I haven't bored you by this lengthy
epistle, I am as ever yours.
J. ADAM WE NT WORTH.
extremely Important, as by them the
diver can regulate his supply of air.
In addition to this pipe the diver has a
ligfelinc enabling him to communicate
with his assistants above water. This was
formerly done by a series of concerted
tugs or jerks on the line, but the method
is being superseded as a means of com
munication by the telephone, the wires
being conveyed by the lifeline. He there
fore touches the button and talks as if
he were in the city. '
Another great improvement is the use
of the electric lamp, though in some West
Indian waters a diver can see clearly for
some distance. In other waters again
the darkness is intense 20 or 30 feet down.
The weight of the dress is extraordinary
and Is necessary to enable the diver to
maintain his stability. His helmet weighs
considerably over a quarter of a hundred
weight, and his ' boots, taken together,
about as much, while if these be not suf
ficient, he claps lead upon his shoulders.
An Error.
Not long ago at a luncheon a lady made
a curious mistake. A plat, of delicious
looking cakes was passed by the colored
waiter. There appeared to be but one
small chocolate eclair on the plate, and
the lady was very fond oi chocolate.
"I'm going to be impolite enough to
take the only chocolate eclair," she said.
"Excuse me. ma'am," said tne waiter,
"dat's ma thumb, ma'am."
f
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