THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN. PORTLAND. JULY 21, 1907.
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HERE you ar. ladies and gents.
Tour first and only chance to see
Little Old New York for the small
um of one dollar. Others have tried
to see It In their own way and It has
cost them some. Our way Is the best,
please. Whoop 'er up. Bill.
The Imposing structure ia front of you
Only ruvru ror .two mere. Hold tight.
Is the only one of its kind in captivity. It
Is the Flatiron building. Here fashion
writers, and others Xo9 numerous to men
tion, sather to see the latest styles In
hosiery. March is the favorite month for
the exhibit.
This is lower Fifth avenue and the low
iipwed brick bjuioipg on Hie coz&ejr ia
the home of Mark. Twain, the rifted
writer, lecturer and arbiter of fashion.
The white object hanging from the bay
window is the great man's suit of flan
nels in the act of being aired before he
takes . his afternoon stroll. White
matches his hair and his spirit of eracl-t.V-
Here we hai p the Yashi3!X'a Azxh umA
square. It received its name from the
fact that a -cherry tree once stood there,
causing parents in the neighborhood to
Invest in paregoric. On the right is the
home of the mayor. This is the vicinity
In which the street -cleaning department
does most of Its work.
And now we strike Broadway. A
stranger might think he was in Russia or
stricken Poland, but such Is not the case.
You merely gain that Impression from the
signs of the business Interests occupying
the street.
That long line of black objects is mere
ly a hundred or two surface cars blocked.
A passenger boarding the first car care
lessly dropped a transfer and the courte
ous employes of the transit company have
deserted the cars to assist him in the
search. It is asserted that an effort will
be made to have the cars run on the
same schedule time as the Panama Rail
road and at the same high rate of speed.
Over your shoulder you see the founda
tion and first structural Iron work of
the Singer building, which will reach a
height of forty-two stories when com
pleted. It is said that Mr. Lawson is to
have an office on the top floor In order
to escape the tainted atmosphere of the
financial district when visiting the city.
Electric elevator-trains will leave the en
trance every fifteen minutes, equipped
with sleeping and dining compartments.
An eighteen-hour-speclal will express
passengers to the top without any stops.
Maps of the building can be had of the
agents.
Next we have Trinity Church, with a
billion dollars' worth of real estate and a
small congregation. This is one of the
few places you can find a dead one In
New York the little ground around It
constitutes a graveyard. The room that
an ordinary family plot takes up would
afford ample room for the erection of a
flat-house with 160 apartments.
Observe the tall stranger weeping
on the corner. He is from Chicago
and Is lonesome. He has been here 24
hours wliftput being' stuck 'up by a
highwayman and beaten Into insensi
bility. The affable gentleman sympa
thizing with him is a wire-tapper.
Presently they will go somewhere and
have something.
Before you now is the Battery; where
New York learned ' to walk in the
straight and narrow way. Two thous
and, immigrants set foot here dally and
are taught how to vote in the next
election. The persons hovering about
the door to the stockades are short
change artists disguised as fruit ven
dors. The tall object between us and
the horizon is the Statue of Liberty,
in need of a Spring coat of paint. A
cut of it appears on all the steerage
booming literature of steamship com
panies to lure the gentle immigrant
to Hll!s Island, where extra delicacies
in the way of food can be purchased
almost as cheaply as at the St. Regis.
While we are here glance in the di
rection of the Aquarium. It contains
almost as much water as curb 6tocks.
with fewer suckers. The favorite spot
with visitors from Hester street is
in front of the goldfish tank.
As we turn into Broadway again we
see on our right the building numbered
26. It has Inspired more young authors
to write magazine articles and books
and furnished more space-writers on
newspapers with three meals a day
than all the Muses, consolidated and
working overtime. It is occupied by
the Standard Oil "octopus" or the "sys
tem," to quote form authorities. In
there Bill Rockefeller, Hen' Rogers and
fellow workingmen slave away day
after dajr cutting coupons until they
get corns on their hands. ' The adver
tisements of Mr. Lawson is - all they
have to afford them light amusement.
Old John D. Is never seen there any
more since the janitor refused him
permission to lay out a golf course on
the roof.
And now we are in Wall street. In
this narrow thoroughfare millions are
won and lost daily. It Is perhaps the
cleanest street in the world, as more
washing Is done within Its narrow con
fines than in any other spot
The old-fashioned building on the
corner Is occupied by our largest firm
of bankers and brokers. The dignified
looking man In the ellk hat , coming
down the steps, smoking a perfecto. Is
not Mr. Morgan. It is his senior clerk
unlng out for lunch at "Dels." J. P.
goes out the back way himself, smok
ing a stogie, to get "ham and" at
Child's. -
As we turn down this stret we find
the Stock Exchange. It Is built en
tirely of marble and bronze, materials'
that will not flinch. The noise you
hear Is several thousand human beings
developing leather lungs and nervous
prostration at the expense of their cli
ents. The last seat in this place sold
for $6,000. and at that the only place
to. sit down is the floor.
This realistic Imitation of a crack In the
building line Is Nassau street. Its en
trance is opposite the City Hall, serving
as a short cut In stock gambling to office-holders.
The bridge entrance a few
hundred yards away furnishes them a
quick means of getting to the track at
Sheepshead during the season.
In front of us Is the City Hall.- It Is a
small building and small buildings have
been known to hide a great cUal. The
space about It Is principally inhabited by
bootblacks and peddlers, who vote early
and often.
Before us Is Park Row. home of news
papers. Extras are brought out every Ave
minutes during the day In pink and green
and other shades. This is to allay the
reader's possible fears that he is going
color blind. The first afternoon extra is
selling as you go to work at 7 A. M..
and the last as you return on the first
uncrowded car to Harlem at midnight.
This la the terminal of the old Brooklyn
bridge, made famous by the many pictures
of it with moonlight effect, and its re
production in melodramas. That strug
gling, mass consists of thousands of per-
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sons foolishly risking life and limb In an
attempt to get to Brooklyn. After they
wake up In the morning they go through
the same thing , to get back. Pickpockets
and policemen can always be found here.
Let your eyes alight upon that snow
white edifice to, the left. It is the new
Hall of Records, the foundation of which
was laid long before our time, and which
is still uncompleted. It has been called a
good job for some persons and has pre
vented favored contractors leading an
Idle and hungry existence.
To the north U the "Tombs." Ita reg
ister has the names of more noted objects
of sociology than any other lodging place
of Its kind. Famous criminals have trod
the "brldge'of sighs" to receive sentence
In the court building or b freed by high
priced lawyers. It Is open day and night
to coming guests.
Before us now is that place of Oriental
mystery Chinatown. What you think is
the gentle tinge of stewed hay wafted our
way Is chop suey being prepared for the
visitor. The Celestials who cook it eat at
a quick-lunch place on the Bowery. Hor
rible dens of vice confront us on every
side, according to Al H. Woods and the
press, and "highbinders" are going
through the fearful rites of fan-tan.
Whenever an argument over the price of
laundry soap causes a shooting down here
it Is described as a battle of the tongs. A
movement Is on foot to wipe out this pes
tilential spot and replace It with a park.
Then the denizens will move and knock
out the olfactory nerves of Harlem or
The Bronx with a new Chinatown. This
will furnish cause for another crusade.
At last we are on that famous way,
celebrated In song and story the Bowery.
It Is run In a businesslike way by a Mr.
Sullivan. You will see his picture In
places that keep open on Sundays or in
the windows of shops that blockade the
street with merchandise. Desperate thugs
throng the way on each side, forcing the
strange pedestrian to contribute part
towards a night's lodging. The gentlemen
In front of clothing stores are distribut
ing fashion tracts and trying to Indues
citizens to dress more stylishly. An out
fit worn from one of these places Is the
dirtiest in the city and Is the only one
guaranteed to make a native of Chicago
feel perfectly comfortable.
We are crossing Hester street now. The
atmosphere Is made up of equal parts ol
garlic and ozone.
Next to see Cooper Union, which has
done, more good where It Is most needed
than all the Carnegie libraries In fins
streets.
The statue is that of Peter Cooper. The
men around its base are not students of
sculpture they are hoboes.
Across the way now Is New York's
largest department store. It occupies
two blocks on the surface and you can
purchase window curtains H stories
above ground and tinware and dishes two
floors underground. It will take in an
other block as soon as the Treasury De
partment gets out a new Issue of copper
cents, that will permit a larger number
of bargain sales.
This is Fourteenth street and to the
right you may observe Tammany Hall. A
visitor might mistake 1t for a mint if he
could see the army of men bearing bags
of currency as they leave Its doors during
close political fights. Here the famous
tiger Is incarcerated. It has such a bad
disposition that it refuses to eat out of
the hand of the present Mayor.
Union Square here Is used by advocates
or outdoor life as a sort of a natural
Mills Hotel during the Summer, and as
a flower market around Easter. The deal
ers who conduct the last pay nothing for
the privilege. It is assumed that they
have a number of voters registered from
their dwelling places.
We are now coming to Madison Square.
The immense building to the East is
owned by a life insurance company. It
Is shortly to erect a 45-story tower on the
corner that will be higher than the Rock
of Gibraltar and look better In an "ad."
The tower you do see Is that of Madison
Square Garden, white social events like
the hors' show and six-day bicycle
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