THE SUNDAY OKEGOS'IAX, PORTLAND, JULY 14, 1907.
3
"One evening Andy failed to come to
the hotel for dinner. About- 11 o'clock
he came Into my room.
' 'Landed one. Jeff," says he, 'twelve
millions. Oil, rolling mills, real estate
and natural gas.. He's a fine man; no
airs about him. Made all his money
in the last five years. He's got pro
fessors posting him up now in educa
tionart and literature and haber
dashery and such things.
' 'When 1 saw him he'd just won a
bet of $10,000 with a Steel Corporation
man that there'd be four suicides in
the Allegheny rolling mills today. So
everybody in sight had to walk up and
have drinks on him. He took a fancy
to me and asked me to dinner with
him. We went to a restaurant in Dia
mond alley ad sat on stools and had
sparkling Moselle and crab chowder
and apple fritters.
'Then he wanted to show me his
bachelor apartment on Liberty street.
He's got ten rooms over a fish mar
ket, with -privilege of tlie bath on the
next floor above. He told me it' cost
him $18,000 to furnish his apartment,
and I believe it.
"'He's got" $40,000 worth of pictures
in one room and $20,000 worth of curios
and antiques in another. His name's
Scudder, and he's 45. and taking les
sons on the piano and .15,000 barrels of
oil a day out of his wells."
" 'AH right," says 1. 'Preliminary
canter satisfactory. But, kay vooly
voo? What good is the art junk to
us? And the oil?"
" 'Now that man," says Andj sit
ting thoughtfully on. the bed, 'ain't
what you would call an ordinary scutt.
When he was showing me his cabinet
of art curios his face lighted up like
the door of a coke oven. He says if
some of his big deals go through he'll
make J. P. Morgan's collection of
sweatshop tapestry and Augusta, Me.,
beadwork look like the contents of an
ostrich's craw thrown on a screen by a
magic lantern.
" 'And then he showed me a little
carving,' went on Andy, 'that anybody
could see was a wonderful thing. It
was something like 2000 years old, he
said. It was a lotus flower with a
woman's face in it carved out of a solid
piece of ivory.
" 'Scudder looks it up in a catalogue
and describes It. An Egyptian carver
named Khafra made twp of "em for
King Rameses II about the year B. C.
The other one can't be found. The
junkshop and antique bugs have rub
bered all Europe for It, but it seems to
be out of stock. Scudder paid $2000
for the one he has.'
" 'Oh, well," says I, 'this sounds like
the .purling of a Till to me. I thought
we came here to teach the millionaires
business, Instead of learning art from
'em.'
" 'Be patient,' says - Andy, kindly,
'maybe we will see a rift in the smoke
ere long."
"All the next morning Andy was out.
I didn't see him till about noon. He
came to the hotel and called me into
THE SUNDAY OREGON IAN' S
SELECTED FICTION
Copyright by the S. S. McClure Company.
CAPTAIN BOB BRANDT dropped in
today, looking brown and ruddy, and
tilling my office with a breeze and
freshness that seemed to have followed
him- all the way in from the sea.
"Just in. Captain?" I cried, springing
to my feet, my fingers closing around his
no more welcome visitor than Captain
Bob ever pushes open my office door.
"Tes Teutonic."
"Where did you pick her up Fire Is
land?" "N(K 'bout hundred miles oft Montauk.'
Captain Bob has been a Sandy Hook
pilot for some years back.
"How was the weather?" I had a chair
ready for him now and was lifting the
lid of my desk in search of a box of
cigars.
"Pretty dirty. Nasty swell on. and so
thick you could hack holes In it. Come
pretty night missin' her" and the Cap
tain opened his big stormcoat and
reached out his long, brawny arm for the
clear 1 was extending toward him.
I have described this sea-dog before as
a younger, sea-dog 20 years younger, in
fact. He was in my employ then he and
his sloop Screamer. Every big founda
tion stone in Shark Ledge Light the one
off Keyport harbor can teil you about
them both.
In those lighthouse days this Captain
Bob was "a tall, straight, blue-eyed
young fellow of 22, with a face like an
open book."
He is precisely the same kind of man
today, plus 20 years of experience. That
he should now rank as the most expert
pilot on the station was quite to be ex
pected. He could have filled as well a
commander's place on the bridge, had he
chosen to work along those lines.
And the modesty of the man.'
Nothing that he has done, or can still
do, has ever stretched his hat measure
or swelled any part of his thinking ap
paratus. The old pilot cap Is still num
ber seven, and the sensible head beneath
it is number seven, too.
As I look at him now, sitting in my
office chair, the smoke qf the cigar curl
ing about his bronzed, weather-tanned
face, 'my eye taking in his slim waiBt,
slender thighs and long, sinewy arms and
hands that have served him so well all
his life, I can hardly believe that 20
years have passed over his head since
we worked together on SUark Ledge. But
for the marks chalked on his temples by
the old man with the hour-glass and the
few tally scores of hard work crossing
the corners of his mouth and eyes he has
the same external appearance as in the
old days.
"This pilotln' 's pretty rough some
limes Captain Bob continued between the
wuffs of smoke, "but it ain't nothln' to
the old days. When I look back on It all,
seems to me as if we was out o' our
heads most o' the time. I didn't know it
then, but 't was true all the same. Think
now o' layin' the Screamer broadside on
that stone pile at Shark Ledge, unloadin'
them stone with nothln' but a couple of
par buoys to keep 'er oft. Wonder I
didn't leave 'er bones there. Would if I
hadn't knowed every stick o' timber in
'er and jest what she could stagger
under."
"But ' she was a good seaboat," I in
terpolated. "The Screamer was always
the pride of the work."
"None better. You'd a-thought so if
you'd been with us that night off Hat
teras; we layin' to, hatches battened
down. I never see it blow wuss. It
came out o' the nor'west 'bout dark, and
'fore mornin' I tell ye it was a-humpin'
things. We started with a pretty decent
set o' sails, new eyelets rove in and new
clew lines, but. Lord love ye, we hadn't
taken old Hatteras Into consideration.
"We lay 'round till mornin' and then
'orur came a coaler bound for Charles
his room across the hall. - He pulled a
roundish bundle about as ' big as a
goose egg out of his pocket and un
wrapped it It was. an ivory carving
just as he had described the million
aire's to me.
" 'I went in an old second-hand store
and pawnshop a while ago, says Andy,
'and I see this half-hidden under a lot
of old daggers and truck. The pawn
broker said he'd had it several years
and thinks it was soaked by some
Arabs or Turks or -some foreign dubs
that used to live down by the river. .
' " 'I offered him $2 for it, and I must
have looked like I wanted it, for he
said it would toe taking the pumper
nickel out of his children's mouths to
hold any conversation that did not lead
up to a price of $35. I finally got it
for $25.'
" 'Jeff,' goes on Andy, 'this is the ex
act counterpart y of Scudder's carving.
It's absolutely a dead ringer for it.
He'll pay $2000 for it as quick as he-d
tuck a napkin under his chin. " And
ton. She see us a-wallowln' In the
trough and our mast thrashin' for all
It was worth.
"'What d'ye want?' the skipper says,
when he got within hail.
" 'Some sail needles and k ball o'
twine.' I hollered back; "we got every
thing else.' You should Just a-hcard him
cuss " and one of Captain Bob's laughs
rang through the room. "Them's two
things I'd forgot didn't think o' them in
fact till the matnsheet give 'way.
"Well, he chucked 'em aboard with an
other cuss. I hadn't no money to pay no
salvage. All we wanted was them nee
dles and a little elbow grease and gump
tion. So we started in, and 'fore night,
she was still a' thrashing, I'd fixed up
the sails, patched the eyelets with a pair
o' boot legs, and was off again."
"What were you doing off Hatteras,
Captain Bob?" I asked. I was leading
him on, professing ignorance of minor
details, so that I could again enjoy the
delight of hearing him tell It.
"Oh, that was another one o them
crazy jobs . I used to take when I didn't
know no better. Why, I guess you re
member 'bout that wreckin' job oil Ham
ilton, Bermuda?"
He was settled In his chair now, his
legs crossed, his head down between his
shoulders. "
"You see, after I auit work on the
'ledge,' I was put to 't for a job, and
there come along a. feller by the name
of Lamso'n the agent of an in
surance company. who wanted me
to go to Bermuda and git up
some 42 pieces of white I-tallan
marble that had been wrecked three
years before off the harbor of Hamil
ton. They ran from three to twenty
one tons each, he said. So off I start
ed with the Screamer. He didn't say,
though, that the wreck lay on a coral
reef eight miles from land on I'd
stayed to home in New Bedford.
"When I got to where the wreck lay
you couldn't see a thing 'bove water.
So I got into an old divin' dress we had
aboard one we used on the ledge
oiled up the pump and went down to
look her over, and by Jlminy Crfmlny.
not a scrap o' that wreck was left 'cept
the rusty iron work and that part o'
the bottom plankln' of the "vessel that
lay under the stones! Everything else
was eat up with the worms! Funniest
lookin' place you ever see. The water
was just as clear as air. and I could
see every one o' them stone plain as
daylight looked -like .so many big
lumps o' white sugar scattered 'round
and they were big! One of 'em weighed
21 tons, and none on 'em weighed less'n
five. Of course I knew how big they
were- 'fore I started, and I'd fitted up
the Screamer special to h'ist 'em, but
I didn't know- I'd have to handle 'em
twice; once from where they laid on
that coral reef in 28 feet o' water and
then unload 'em on the Navy-Yard
dork, above Hamilton, and then pick
'em up agin, load 'em 'board the
Screamer and unload 'em once more
'board a Boston brig they'd sent down
for 'em one o' them hlgh-waisted
things 'bout IS feet from the waterline
to the rail. That was the worst part
Of It."
Captain Bob stopped, felt in his
Docket for a match, - found it empty,
rose from his chair, picked one from
a match safe on my desk, lighted his
cigar, and resumed his seat again. I
have found it wisest to let hira have his
own way in times like these. If I in
terrupt the flow of his talk It may
stop for the day, and I lose the best
part of the enjoyment of having him
with me.
"Pretty decent chaps, them English
men" puff-puff the volume of smoke
was all right once more. "One Mon
day morning I ran out of the Navy
Yard dock with'n sight of the wreck. I
CONSCIENCE IN FIELD OF ART
why shouldn't it be the genuine other
one, anyhow, that the old gypsy whit
tled out?
" 'Why not, '.Indeed?' says . I. 'And
how shall we go about compelling him
rrs THE ARTiax." sms he :
to make a voluntary purchase of it?'
"Andy had his plan all ready, and I'll
tell you how we carried it out.
"I got a pair of blue spectacles, put
on my black frock coat,' rumpled my
hair up and became Professor Ptckle
man. I went to another hotel, regis
tered, and sent a telegram to Scudder
to come to see me at once on important
art business. The elevator dumped him
dn me In less than an hour. He was a
foggy man with a clarion voice, smell
ing of Connecticut wrappers and naph
tha. . '
Captain "Bob"; of the
had been layin' up over Sunday to get
out cf the way' of a norther, when I
luffed a little too soon, and bang went
my bowsprit and scraped off about
three feet of red paint from the end
of the dock. One of the watchmen was
on the stringpiece, and saw the whole
thing. "Come ashore," he says, 'and gO
and see the Admiral; you can't scrape
no paint off this dock with my per
mission." "Well. I waited four hours for his
nibs. When he came to his office quar
ters he was 'bout up to my arms, red as
a can buoy, and white hair stickin' up
straight as a shoebrusb on his bead.
He looked cross enough to bite a ten
penny nail in two.
"'Ran Into the dock, did ye ran Into
Her Majesty's dock, and ye had room
enough to turn a fleet In! Do you
think we paint these docks for the fun
of havln' you lubbers scrape It off?
You'll pay for paintin' it over, sir
that's what you'll do, or I'll libel your
boat and send a file of marines down
and tie her up,' and away he went up
the dock to his office again. i
" 'Gosh!' I said to myself. 'Guess I'm
in a fix.' The boys stood around and
heard every word, and I tell ye it warn't
no joke. As to money, there warn't a $10
bill in the crew. I'd spent every cent I
could rake and scrape to fit the Screamer
out. and the boys were workln' on shares,
and nobody was to get any money until
the last atone that big twenty-one-ton
feller was 'board the brig. Then I could
go to the agents in Hamilton and draw
two-thirds of my contract. That twenty-one-ton
chunk, I forgot to tell ye, I had
picked up the day before, and it was then
aboard the Screamer, and we was on our
way down to Hamilton, where the brig
lay, when her -nose scraped oft the ad
miral's paint.
"It did look kind o' nasty for us, and
no mistake. One day more and we'd a
been through and had our money.
" 'Go up and see him,' said the watch
man. 'He gits cool sometimes as sudden
as he gits, hot.' So BUI Nevins. my engi
neer who was workln' the h'lster, and I
went up. The old feller was slttln' on the
piazza in a big rattan chair. -
" 'Come aboard,' he hollered, soon's he
see B11 and me a-standln' In the garden
path with our hats off, lookin" like two
jailbirds about to be sentenced. Well, we
got up on the porch, and he looked us
all over, and said:
' " "Have you got that money with you?"
'No.' I said, . 'I haven't,' and I ups and
tells him just how we was fixed, and how
we -had worked, and how short we was
of grub and clothes and money, and then
I said, 'an' now I come to tell ye that 1
hit the dock fair and square, and it was
all my fault, and that I'll pay whatever
you say is right when I put this stone
'board and get my pay.' -
"He looked me all over I tell you I was
pretty ragged; nothin' but a shirt and
pants on, and they was almighty tore up,
especially where most everybody wants to
be covered and Bill was no better. We'd
'bout used up our clo'es so that sail nee
dles nor nothln' else wouldn't a-done us
no good, and we had no time nor no
spare cash to go ashore and get others.
"While I was talkin' the old feller's eyes
was a-borli' Into mine, then he roared
out, 'No, sir. you won't! yon won't pay
one d d shlllln", sir. You'll go back
to your work, and if there's anything
you want in the way of grub or sup
plies send here for It and you shall
have It. Good day.' I tell ye he was
a. rum one."
"Was that the last time you saw
him?" I asked.
"Not much. When we got 'longside
the brig the next day. her cap'n see
that 21-ton stone settin' up on the
deck of the Screamer, lookin' like a big
white church, and he got so scared he
went ashore and- started a yarn that
i I m I
" "Hello, Professl he shouts, 'how's
your conduct?'
"I rumpled my hair some more and
gave him a blue glass stare.
" 'Sir,' says I, ,are you Cornelius T.
rns a- duplicate cf uink
Scudder, of Pittsburg, Pennsylvania?'
"'I am," says he. 'Come out and
have a drink.'
" 'I have neither the time nor the de
sire,' says I, 'for such harmful and
deleterious amusements. I. have come
from New York," says I, 'on a matter
of busi on a matter of art."
" "I learned there that you re the
owner of an Egyptian ivory carving of
the time of Rameses II, representing
the head of Queen Isis in a lotus
flower. There were only two of such
carvings made. One has been lost tor
we couldn't lift that stone IS feet in
the air, and over her rail and down
into the hold, and that we'd smash his
brig, and It got to the Admiral's ears,
and down come two English engineers,
In cork helmets and white Jackets and
gold buttons, splc' an' span as if
they'd stepped out of the chart-room
of a yacht. One -was 'a. Colonel and
the other was a Major. They were
both Just back from India, as natty
lookin' chaps as you ever saw. And
clear stuff all the Way through you
could tell that before they opened their
mouths.
"I was on the deck o(f the Screamer,
overhaulin' the fall, surrounded by
most of the crew, gettln' ready to h 1st
the stone, when I first saw 'em. They
and the cap'n were away up above me,
leanin' over the rail, lookin' ut the
stone church that some o' the boys was
puttln' the chains round. Bill Nevins
was down in the fo'c'sle. flrin' up. with
the safety-valve set at 125 pounds. He
had half a keg o' rosin and a can o'
kerosene to help out with in case we
wanted a few pounds extry in the
middle of the tea party. Pretty soon
I heard one of 'em holler:
" "Ahoy! Is the captain aboard?"
."'He is." I said, steppin' out. 'Who
wants him?"
" 'Colonel Throckmorton," he says,
'and Major Severn."
" 'Come aboard, gentlemen,' I says.
"So .down they come, the Colonel
first, one foot at a time touchln' the
ladder, the Major following. When he
reached the deck and wheeled round to
look at me you just ought to have seen
his face. '
"'Are you the captain?" he says, and
he looked me over 'bout as the Admiral
had done.
" 'I be.' I said, 'Captain Robert
Brandt, of Pigeon Cove. Cape Ann,
master and owner of the sloop Scream
er, at your service' I kep' front side
to him. 'What can I do for you?"
" "Well, captain." he began, 'perhaps
It is none of our business, but the cap
tain of the brig here and he pointed
up above him, 'has asked us to look
over your tackle and see whether it
Is safe enough -to lift this stone. He's
afraid you'll drop it and smash his
deck in. Since I've seen it, and what
you propose to lift it with, I've told
him there's no danger, for you'll never
get It off the deck. We are both offi
cers of the Engineer Corps, and It 1
our business to know about such
things.'
" "What makes you think the Scream
er won't lift it?" I asked.
" 'Well,' says tho Colonel, lookig aloft,
'her- boom ain't big enough, and that
manila rope is too light. I should think
It wasn't over three and three-quarter-inch
rope. We all know fifteen tons' is
enough weight for that size rope, even
with a fourfold purchase, and we under
stand you say this stone weighs twenty
one.' ,
' 'I'm sorry, gentlemen,' I said, 'and If
you are worried about it. you'd better go
aboard the brig, for I'm now about ready
to pick up the stone and land her."
"Well, the Major said he guessed he
would. If I was determined to pull the
mast out of my sloop, but the Colonel
said he'd stand hy and see It out.
"Just then Bill. Nevins stuck his head
out of the fo'c's'le. He was blacker than
I was, all smeared with ' grease and
stripped to his waist. It was hot enough
anywhere, but It was sizzin' down where
he was.
" 'All ready, Cap'n,' he says. 'She's got
every pound she can carry.'
"I -looked everything over saw the butt
of the boom was playln' free In the
wooden socket, chucked in a lot of tallow
so it could move easy, gave an extra
twist to thtt And o tiia guv, a-rvj, iiciUftr&i
"
many years. I recently discovered
and purchased the other in a pawn in
an obscure museum in Vienna.
','I wish to purchase yours. Name
your price.'
" 'Well, the great ice jams. Profess!"
says Scudder. 'Have you found the
other one? Me sell? No, I don't guess
Cornelius Scudder needs to sell any
thing he wants to keep. Have you got
the carving with you. Profess?" '
. "I shows it to Scudder. He exam
ines it careful all over,
" 'It's the article,' says he. 'It's a
duplicate of mine, every line and curve
of It. Tell you what I'll do,' he says.
'I won't sell, but I'll buy. Give you
$2500 for yours. .
" 'Since you won't sell, I will, says
Screamer
to Bill to go ahead. She went chuckety
chuck, chuckety-chuck for half a dozen
turns; then she slowed down soon as she
struck the full weight and began to pant
like an old horse climbln' a hill. All this
time the Colonel was callin' out from
where he stood near the tiller. 'She'll
never lift it. Captain; she'll never lift it.'
"Next thinp" come a scrapin" 'long the
deck, and the big stone swung clear with
a foot o' daylight 'tween it and the deck.
Then up she went, crawlln' slowly inch by
Inch, till she reached the height of the
brig's rail.
"Now came the worst part. I knew
that when I gave order to slack away the
guyrope so as to swing the stone aboard
the brig, the Screamer would list over
J and dip her rail In the water. So I made
jumij m uie iuie laaaer ana sninnea
up the brig's side so as to take a hand
In landln' the stone properly on the
brig's deck. I had two Ig yellow pine
sticks laid on the brig's deck so as to
save her beams and break the Jar when
I lowered the stone down. I had one
eye now on the stone and the other
on the water which was curling
over the Screamer's rail and makln'
for the fo'c's'le hatch. Should the
water pour down this hatch out would go
my fires and maybe up would come her
b'ller.
" 'Ease aVay on that guy and lower
away easy,' I hollered to Bill. The stone
dropped within two feet of the brig's
deck and swung back and for'ards. Then
I heard Bill yell. I was expectin' it.
"'Water's comln' in!"
"I leaned over the brig's rail and eould
see the slop of the sea combln' over the
Screamer's fo'c'sle hatch. Bill's fires
would be out the next minute. There
was Just two feet now 'tween the stone
and the deck where I stood too much to
drop;- but there was nothln else to do,
and I hollered;
" 'All gone."
"Down, she come with a run. struck
the big timbers on the deck, and by Jim
my! ye could a-heard that old brig groan
from stem to stern.
"I Jumped on top of the stone and
threw off the shackles, and the Screamer
came up on an even keel as easy as a
duck ridin the water.
"You Just oughter seen the colonel
when the old boat righted herself, and he
had climbed up and stood "longside the
major a-talkin' It over.
"Pretty soon he came up to where I
was a-gettln" the. tackle ready to lower
the stone In the hold, and he says:
" 'Well, you made your word good.
Cap'n, but I want to tell you that nobody
but an American could a-done It. It
would cost me my commission If I should
try to do what you have done.'
" 'Well, gentlemen,' I says, 'what was
wrong about It? What's the matter with
the Screamer's rig?'
" 'Well, the size of the rope for one
thing.' says the colonel, 'and the boom.'
" 'Well, p'haps you alnt looked it over.'
I says, and I bein unraveling an end
that stuck out near the shackle. 'If
you'll look close here' and I held the
end of the rope lip 'you'll see that every
stran' of that rope is made of the best
manila yarn, and laid a; smooth as silk.
I stood over that rope myself when it
was put together. Old Sam Hanson of
New Bedford laid up that rope, and there
aint none better nowhere. I knew what
it had to do, and I warn't goin' to take
no" chances of its not doln" it right. As
to that boom. I want to tell ye that I
picked that boom out o' about 200 sticks
in Tom Carlin's shipyard, in Stonington.
and had it scraped and ironed just to
please mt. There aint a rotten knot In
It from butt to finish, and "mighty few
of any other kind. That stick's (Crowed
right that's what's the matter with it;
and it bellies out in the middle, just
where it ought to be thickest.'
"Wall, thev didn't say nothln' for
RUMPLED1 JvtV WAIR VP'
I. 'Large bills, please. I'm a man of
few words. I must return to New
York tonight. I lecture tomorrow at
the aquarium.
"Scudder sends a check down and
the hotel cashes It. He goes off with
his piece of antiquity, and I hurry back
to Andy's hotel, according to arrange
ment. "Andy is walking up and down the
room looking at his -watch.
" 'Well?' he says.
" 'Twenty-five hundred," says I.
'Cash.'
" 'We've got just 11 minutes.' says
Andy, 'to catch the B. & O. westbound.
Grab your baggage.'
" 'What's the hurry?' says I. 'It was
By F. Hopkinson Smith
while, 'cept to walk round the stone once
or twice and slap It with their hands, as
if they wanted to make sure it was all
there. My men were all over It now,
and we was gettln' things in shape to
finish up. I tell ye the boys were mighty
glad, and so was I. It had been a long
pull of she months' work, and we were
out of most everything, and as soon as
the big stone was down in the brig's hold
and warped back and stowed with the
others and that wouldn't take but a day
or two more we would clean up, get our
money and clear out for home.
"AH this time the colonel and the major
were buzzin' each other off by the other
rail. Pretty soon they both come over to
where I stood, and the colonel reached
out his hand.
" 'Cap'n Brandt.' he says and he had a
look in his face as If he meant it and he
did. every word of it "it would give
Major Severn and myself great pleasure
If you would dine with us tonight at the
canteen. The Admiral Is coming, and
some brother officers who would be
pleased to know you.'
"Well, I was struck all of a heap for a
minute, knowing what kind of clo'es I
had to go in, and so I says:
" 'Well, gentlemen, that's very nice of
you. and I see you mean It, and if I had
anything fittln' to wear there's nothln' I
would like better; but ye see how I'm
fixed,' and I lifted my arms so he could
see a few holes that he might a-mlssed
Only Way to Talk
S WITHERS- has discovered the only
way to converse with a busy man.
Smithers Is not selfish, .and he is not
going to take out a patent on his great
discovery, but Is willing to give his
scheme the widest publicity for the gen
eral good of the greater number.
' Smithers the other day thought he
would drop in. and have a chat with his
old friend Tompers, who has an office in
a La Salle-street skyscraper. Tompers
was very glad to see him.
"Well. Smithers," said Tompers. "how
about our fishing trip? Have you got
everything fixed up? Where do we go
this year, and, when, and all about it?"
"Everything is lovely this year," said
Smithers. "I think"
"Ting-a-ling-a-llng," went the telephone
on Tomper's desk.
"Excuse me a moment," said Tompers
as he turned to the telephone. "Yes,
hello, what is it? Yes. this is Mr. Tom
pers. What's that? No, I can't see how
I can today."
The conversation went on for about two
minutes, then Tompers rang off and
turned around to resume his conversa
tion with Smithers.
"I'm awfully glad, Smithers, old man,
that you came bp here to talk to me in
stead of writing or telephoning. Nowwe
can get right together here In a heart-to-heart
talk and come to a perfect un
derstanding. How about tents?"
"This year," began Smithers.
"Ting-a-ling-a-llng," went the ' tele
phone. "Hello," said Tompers, grabbing the
phone. "Yes, yes, this is Tompers. What
Is that? No, I was In court that morning
and couldn't wait after o'clock. I don't
think so." And so on for four minutes.
Finally Tompers put the telephone down
and turned around to Smithers.
"Go right on, Smithers, Are out your
plans. I tell you it's great for you to
take the trouble to come up here and see
me. You're a sight for sore eyes. It
makes me feel like a Toy again to talk
these things over with you. Did you say
Moose Lake or Crystal?" .'
"Why, this year." began Smithers.
"Ting-a-ling-a-llng," Tompers grabbed
a square sale. And even if it was only
an imitation of the original carving,
it'll take him some time to find it out.
He seemed to be sure It was the genu
ine article."
. " 'It was," says Andy. "It was his
own. When I -was looking at his curios
yesterday he stepped out of the room
for a moment and I pocketed it. Now
will you pick up your suitcase and
hurry?'
' 'Then.' says I. 'why was that story
about finding another one in the
pawn '
" 'Oh,' says Andy, 'out of respect for
that conscience of yours. Come on.' "
(CopyrlRht. 1907, by S. S. McOlure Co. la
the I'nlled State anrt fit-eat Britain.)
before, and I motioned to some other
parts of my gct-up that needed repairs.
" 'That don't make no difference. Cap'n,
what kind of clo'es ye come In. We dine
at 8 o'clock.
"Of course I knew I couldn't go. and I
didn't want 'em to think 1 intended to go
when I didn't, so I savs, rather positive
like: " 'Very much obliged, gentlemen, but I
guess I'll have to get you to count me
out this time.' I knowed I warn't fittln'
to sit at anybody's table, especially if
that old Admiral was comin'.
"The Colonel see I was in earnest, arid
he stepped up, quick-like, and laid his
hand on my shoulder.
" 'Captain Brandt,' he says, 'we ain't
worryin' about your clo'es, and don't you
worry. You can come in your shirt: you
can come in your socks, or you can come
without one damned rag only come!"
The Captain stopped, shook the ashes
from his cigar, slowly raised himself to
his feet and reached for his hat.
"Did you go. Captain?" I asked.
The Captain looked at me for a moment
with one of those quizzical glances which
so often light up his face when some
thing amuses him, and said, as he blew
a cloud of smoke to the ceiling:
"Well. I didn't forget my manners.
When it got dark dark, mind ye I went
up and sat on the piazza and had a
smoke with 'em. Admiral and all. But I
didn't go to dinner not in them pants."-
to a Very Busy Man
up the phone. "Hello, yes, that's too bad.
Well, send it right down to the garage.
Yes. It oughtn't to take more than a week
or two. Yes, I'll be home on the 4:43."
There was about three minutes more of
this conversation, and then Tomperst
turned around again. "Now, then, Smith
ers," he said, "as you were saying? How
about Juggins and Teller and Blonney?
Are they in this time?"
"Why," replied Smithers. "Why "
"Hello," said Tompers, "what's that?
Oh. yes. Well, of course. I would like to
help all I could. 1 will take twenty-five
tickets and perhaps fifty. What's the
date?"
Three minutes of telephone conversa
tion. "I tell you, Smithers," said Tompers.
as he finally put tho receiver back on the
hook. "It's great to hear you talk of the
one thing that I really enjoy. By Jove,
when you speak about the things we are
going to do to those sassy old trout, I
can just smell the fish frying in the pan,
and hear the gurgle of the river and see
the stars twinkling up in the sky. When
do we leave?"
"Why," said Smithers, "why '
"Ting-a-ling-a-Iing."
"Hello" said Tompers. "Who 'is this?
Oh. Philters. Oh, that's all right. CouWn't
hardly expect you to drop your work and
come away up here. We can talk It over
on the phone just as well. What sort of a
bid did Grey and Blue make? Oh. that's
too high. Yes, yes. No, I think not. Why
yes. if you are willing. I said if you were
willing." This conversation lasted five
minutes.
When Tompers turned around Smithers
was gone.
A moment later the telephone rang
again.
"Hello," said a voice that Tompers- rec
ognized as being that of Smithers. "Yes,
this Is Smithers. Why did I go away? Be
cause I found out that the only way to
talk to you is over the telephone. I'm in
the office next door. No, I'm not coming
back. I cooled my feet in your office long
enough. I'm on to the way to get to you.
When you come up to Moose Lake I'm
going to have a telephone put In your
bank." Chicago Record-Herald.