TIIE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, NOVEMBER, 18, iDOtf. ; 8CB9CRIPTION RATES. CT INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. "3 (By Mall.) ' Dajly. Funds; Included, one year I 00 I tally. Sunday Included, six months.... 4.-o I Uaily, Sunday Included, three month!.. ' Xally, Sunday Included, one month ' Dally, without Sunday, one year Pally, without Sunday, tlx months 3.85 Dally, without Sunday, three month., lis JJally. without Sunday, one month Sunday, one year 2 80 Weekly, one year (Issued Thursday)... 1-50 Sunday and Weekly, one year .- 3-5u BY CARRIER. !a!ly. Sunday Included, one year .J9 bally, Sunday Included, one month 73 HOW TO RKM1T Send postofflce money order, express order or personal check on your local bank. Stamps, coin or currency re at the sender's risk. Give postoftlce ad dress In lull, including county and state. POSTAGE RATES. Kntered at Portland. Oregon. 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But since Mr. Ladd causes hie newspaper, day by day, to continue its attacks on The Oregonian, and to urge, press and roar for indict ments; and since, moreover, it con tinues its studied and labored misrep resentations and misinterpretations of The Oregonian's cartoon of November 2. with evident intention of pre-occupy-ing the public mind and forestalling: the public judgment, by substitution of its own misconstruction and distortion of the meaning and intent for the true one. The Oregonian now will have some thing to say. It supposes, too, that the grand jury has now finished its in quiries into this case, but as no report has been made, of course, it knows nothing about what action It may take. This article is addressed to the public. Mr. Ladd hHS pretended that The Oregonian attributed to him the author ship of the Hearst assaination litera ture, though it has long been knownand often reprinted, and its authorship known, throughout the United States; and on this pretense, supported by statements of complaisant members of his "set" that they so understood it, he called for a grand jury. The forced misinterpretation was and is mere pre tense. No unbiased intelligence could have given the cartoon such construc tion or interpretation. It was univer sally known where the statements came from. Twice before, within that same week, they had been published in The Oregonian, and their origin attributed to W .R. Hearst ,of New York. Events had caused their republication in nearly every newspaper of the United States, within a short time before The Ore gonian's cartoon appeared. The Ore gonian's object in printing the cartoon m as patent. It was, as stated, first, "to concentrate attention on what Hearst journalism is, and second, to show who Is responsible for the imitation of it end support of Hearst and Hearst jour nalism at Portland." The Oregonian said that Mr. Ladd was handing out an imitation here; and its cartoon 6aid, "Here is what Hearst Journalism is," Hearst at that time was a candidate for Governor of New York; the atten tion of the whole country was fixed upon that contest, and the Ladd organ here warmly favored Hearst. The time was opportune to identify here the par ties in alliance. Mr. Ladd is one of the proprietors, a director and the treasurer of the jour nal of monopoly here. Why do we call the Ladd Journal also a Hearst journal? Because, in its style, make-up, methods, news, editorial page and general char acteristics, it is a close imitation of the Hearst newspapers. It professes ad miration of Hearst himself; it approves, eupports and defends hie political schemes, and it expressed earnest hope and enthusiastic desire that he might bo elected Governor of New York. Its news columns are largely filled from the Hearst papers, and matter offered ' as news has been appearing for years in its columns under the heading, "Hearst News Service." It is, there fore, "an imitation Hearst Journal"; and it was right, therefore, to concen trate attention here on what Hearst Journalism is for attention was con centrated upon it in all parts of the United States by Hearst's own candi dacy in New York; and moreover, it was right to Indicate who was respon sible for the imitation of it in Portland. Mr. Ladd, more than any other person, is that man. He it is who has given the paper Its existence; his name as sociated with it, drew in the rest, to creation and maintenance of a paper which should be always at command of the pluto-aristocracy of Portland, bringing support to their echemee and fighting their opponents. It is a fact that Mr. Ladd has always taken a warm personal interest in support f the bantling; and many in Portland know that he has in person solicited business for it. With great Industry and persistence he has shinned the streets of Portland, either alone or in the company of J. N. Teal, a fellow director and the secretary of the organ, on this mission, with the purpose of Impressing men In business with the Idea that his paper ought to have sup port, on the score of reciprocity be tween .him and them. These, indeed, are small matters, one might say; but they establish The Oregonian's affirma tion of Mr. Ladd's Interest In the paper which he now pretends to disown. Mr. Ladd, moreover, guaranteed payment for the press on which the paper is printed, and had to do so before the or der for It would be accepted. But the dog-like fidelity with which the newspaper lollowe the master In this one affair would be both' proof and ac knowledgement, if anything further were needed, of the relation between master and servant. Exclamatory ap peals for the master have filled its col umns daily; in his behalf the paper has called for "sympathy" for the "auffer lngs" of members of his family who never have been, even remotely, alluded to by The Oregonian; It has tried day by day to coerce, browbeat and dragoon a grand Jury for gratification of the master's vengeance; it has filled the air and the clouds with Its cries, en treaties and calumnies; it has even tried to raise its obtestations to Heaven. Of course Mr. Ladd had a right to start and he has a right to own, or to be a leading owner, in a newspaper. But the purpose of the paper was dis guised, even from some who took shares in it, fcr they did not know that it was to be devoted to the special objects or ends of leading promoters; and some refused to continue to feed it, and dropped out. But Mr. Ladd said It was to go, if he had to carry It on alone. If he wanted to publish a newspaper, well and good; many per sons thought another newspaper might be a good thing for Portland. But this organ began its career by vicious at tacks on The Oregonian, and on every interest outside those of the group who had started it to support their grasp ing purposes. This is its mission today, backed by the money and by every in fluence wielded by the gang who have "taken in" everything within their reach in Portland. Right now Is as good a time as any, and here a very proper place, once more to repeat an to emphasize the fact that the Ladd Journal, though im itating Hearst journalism, is an effort of a greedy plutocracy, masquerading under cover of pretense of regard for popular interests and popular rights, to promote schemes for this combination's own further enrichment and aggran dizement. This plutocracy never has been willing, nor is now willing, that Portland and Oregon shall make growth and progress too fast for its clansmen to grasp and appropriate the proceeds. They want nobody to do business here on any Important scale, who is not willing or cannot be forced to pay trib ute to them, nor will allow it, if they can prevent It. They support their newspaper organ as an adjunct of these schemes, and the people know it; yet this organ of plutocracy, run by the multi-millionaire tontine of Portland, pretends to be a journal of the people, of the people whose most valuable common property, in franchises and uses, amounting to millions upon mil lions in value.N have been grabbed ' or filched from them by the gang, through open seizure- or in surreptitious ways, without payment of a dollar to the peo ole for the property, and either sold for the further enrichment of : the grandee exploiters, as in the case of the street railways, or held for dividends, as the gas exploit, based on high charges and excessive rates to the peo ple, under claim of perpetual tenure, attended by insolent refusal to obey the laws requiring exhibit of the af fairs of public service corporations, all in the high-flown and high-blown spirit of the monopoly proverb: "The public be !" Such a gang should have a newspaper, of course; and, of course, that newspaper will tell always, and keep on telling, how dear every popular cause, everything that concerns the welfare of the people, is to it and to its masters, while they pluck and skin the people to the bone! The real object of this effort to indict is to try to muzzle or silence The Ore gonian on all such matters as the fran chise grabs, the gas abuses, absorption of estates and engrossment of the busi ness of Portland by the plutocratic trust, so that there might be smooth sailing, without 'question or noyance; for if The Oregonian could be "shut up," not a voice could be raised in Port land against any of the operations or exploitations of- our holy local plutoc racy. No one would dare to oppose its schemes, for the penalty would be ruin. The Oregonian, however, is here; it is on the side of the people; it cannot be intimidated; It cannot be silenced. It deals, however, only with public mat ters, or with individuals in their rela tion to them. On this basis both Its duty and its rights are assured. The Oregonian, it was known, could not be induced to serve the purposes of thte plutocracy, never had stood with it; and the combination felt the need of an organ to support its grasping schemes. The Ladd organ, then, run as a Hearst imitation, is one of the instru ments of a group bent on absorption of everything within its reach. The Effort has succeeded too well. Very soon after the organ was started it be gan a series of abusive, virulent and libelous attacks on The Oregonian. They were not noticed because The Or egonian was unwilling to engage In any contention with it that might ap pear to be merely a newspaper wrangle; so no notice wae taken of Its calumnies; which, however, continued from year J to year. To engage with it on its own grounds, to descend into the gutter to throw mud with it, The Oregonian dis dained. Again and again the Ladd paper complained of The Oregonian's refusal to notice it, or the attacks with which its columns teemed. These attacks were usually scurrilous and venomous, and always full of falsehood. But its libelous invective and vicious cartoons were alike passed over, without other notice than a glance of contempt. Hold ing such journalism despicable, The Oregonian simply disregarded it. But a change came. In May, 1905, The Oregonian, having learned that the scheme to sell out for millions the fran chises of Portland, which our local plu tocrats had appropriated by surrepti tious means, was about to be consum mated, criticised and denounced the en tire transaction as robbery of the city; whereupon the prgan of these high rollers redoubled its vituperative and virulent attacks, and The Oregonian answered then for the first time that it was what was to be expected" from a publication which had been established and was sustained as an organ and de fender of thsse purposes of private ag grandizement, at the expense of the public. TJiis, let It be borne in mind, was the first notice the plutocratic or gan received from The Oregonian. Here was not a mere newspaper squabble about nothing; but here was a great subject, of highest public Importance. A type of journalism had been intro duced here that was grafting the Hearst newspaper style and spirit on the schemes of local plutocracy, for support of both, and Mr. Ladd, as a man of wealth and eminence, standing at the head of this plutocracy and deep ly interested in its principal schemes one of the owners,, also, of the news paper and a director in the corporation that, after the Hearst fashion, tries to disguise the ownership, was named by The Oregonian as the representative man of the undertaking. So he has been treated or dealt with since. A dummy nominally at the head of an un dertaking is not the responsible man. They who supply the money are the actual parties in responsibility. During several recent years the Ladd Hearst organ has uttered countless li bels against The Oregonian and Its publishers libels of the most false, ma licious and defamatory description, both by cartoon and by printed text, of which The Oregonian has taken no no tice at all; for if their life-long work here has not made them, known and es tablished character for them, nothing they could say for themselves, or their newspapers could say for them, could avail them anything. Nor could grand juries nor trial juries, nor a sequacious herd of retainers and toadies claequing at their heels and ready to bear wit ness; nor saintly aire, nor ostentatious moral or pietistic pretensions. The Judgment and delicacy Mr. Ladd has shown in bringing the women of his family into this contention, both through his newspaper and through the chambers of the grand jury, the public will pass, upon, silently; fpr opinion is free. And that opinion unquestionably Is that it was very poor theatricals. For there are other aged ladies and other sensitive wives and widows here; not rich, indeed, since they have been impoverished by absorption of their property, through inordinate avarice and enormous greed, into estates al ready plethoric with wealth. Millionaires 1 may appraise their own sensibilities; the public is not bound to confirm the appraisement, but reserves the right to believe that the widows, or wives and children, of houses and estates lost arid swallowed up in the rolling accretions of aggrandizing wealth, may have sen sibilities too. The struggle against an all-devouring plutocracy is the same here as elsewhere and everywhere, and when such plutocracy sheds ihs tears in public for obtalnment of sympathy, the spectacle becomes pathetic, indeed! There is an appeal to the public, in all matters that concern the welfare of society, which surpasses in dignity. In force and in effect any appeal to a grand jury; and in any appeal to the grander Jury The Oregonian believes It Is able to make itself heard and under stood. Never yet has it failed to do so, and it thinks it will not now; for its object is to keep the people apprised of the crafty, Insidious and always tireless efforts of a local monopolistic plutocracy to secure ' advantages for Itself, both from the public and from all private persons who can be drawn into its net and converted into prey. Intrenched here through hereditary ad vantage, its purpose is to permit noth ing to be done in which It has not a controlling hand, 60 that tribute may be exacted from every side. Hateful to the people and. full of abominations in itself. It is the octopus of Portland and the represser of Oregon. Its chief ambition is to suck up the proceeds of the efforts of others and to avail itself, to the utmost possibility, of the indus try that strives to accomplish things, and then try to take its results away and "wait for a rise." It is a curse to Portland and long has been; for Its methods are hot alone such as we have described. They include and long have included, a policy of keeping out of Portland and of Oregon all capital or enterprise strong enough to be inde pendent or to do independent things. By it capital has continually been warned away with such statements as, "O, there is nothing in what you talk about. We have looked into it, and if there had been anything in it we should have undertaken it long ago. We have capital enough here for everything that will pa-." With such statements ' men who would have done important things for Oregon have continually been sent away. Political control is also within its ambition, always; not, of course, for its own sake, but aa a. means to the further "promotion of our interests." The newspaper is part of the scheme; and It affects Hearstism, also, as a de vice for fooling the people, and as a further means to a common end. This i the fight before the people of Portland and of Oregon. In the appeal to the grander jury, which Is to be con tinued till the people shall have mas tered an arrogant plutocracy. The Ore gonian does not doubt that It will find means of making itself heard, and that the people will be willing to hear it. The fight of the people of Oregon against predatory fortunes and against the practices by which they are con tinually augmented Is on. In Oregon, as elsewhere, and The Oregonian reaches all the people. RAILROAD REGULATION BILL. By the transportation committee of the Chamber of Commerce of Portland the first draft of a bill has been sub mitted, for "an act to regulate com- merce and common carriers in this state." It proposes to create a railroad commission of three persons and to de fine their duties and powers.. The bill is said, to be founded on the law of Wisconsin, with additions from the law of Texas and of other states. It is very long, becauee it deals mi nutJy with a most extensive subject, and "must therefore contain great mul tiplicity of details. Merely to define the scope'of the bill would require great space. It is to apply to every common carrier engaged in the transportation of passengers and property wholly by rail, or partly by rail and partly by water; and it enters into minute details as to switching, storing, transfer, exchange of business between transportation lines, regulation of terminal companies and supply of cars. Rates are required to be "just and reasonable"; and the commission is re quired and directed, upon petition or complaint as to rates, to hold an inves tigation, to which the parties are to be cited. Should the rate or service be found; in the Judgment of, the commis sion, to be unreasonable or unjustly discriminatory, or any service or equip ment inadequate, the commission is to fix such rate or reasonable regulation, practice or service to be imposed, or equipment to be furnished, as it may deem proper and juet; and if any rail road or other party In Interest shall be dissatisfied with the rates or regula tions, it may commence an action In the Circuit Court against the commis sion as defendant, to vacate or set aside the order the rate or regulation meantime to stand. We suppose this bill, or one embody ing the main features af this bill, will pass the Legislature of Oregon the coming Winter. The public mind, which will be reflected through the legislative mind, everywhere is pushing in this di rection. The movement has reached Oregon. WHILE THE LAMP YET BURNS. To the ordinary citizen, there is al ways something cheering and instruc tive about prison statistics. When he reads of his fellow men who are wear ing their lives away behind the bans of our penal institutions, he reflects, "how much better am I than they; how thankful I am for the moral principles administered to me by my mother as I lay acroas her knee." According to the Literary Digest, a recent issue of the North American Re view contains statistics that "yield In teresting and suggestive facts." In the Missouri state prixn there are 1794 con victs, of whom 1267, or more than two thirds, profess some sort of religious belief. Of these 396 are Baptists. At first glance this looks like a serious re proach to Baptists; but it is not, be cause, following along in the list close behind are 335 Methodists and 312 Cath olics. ' Then come 120 Christians. It was not stated how these last differed from their more numerous and spe cifically mentioned brethren. The fifth place is held down by the Presby terians. Of these there are only forty eight. In Oregon this would be a re markable showing, but in Missouri, where the people are inquisitive and in credulous, it may merely indicate a general scarcity of Presbyterians. The Lutherans occupy an inconspicuous po sition with a membership of twenty nine, while the Episcopalians have six teen. ' Just why the last-named popular church is so meagerly represented was not explained. It may be that Episco palians consider it bad form to be ar rested, and no doubt it Is well that those sixteen Episcopalians are where they are. The rear is brought up in a dignified manner by six Hebrews and five Dunkards. The moral of all this, if any moral can be deduced, is, be a Unitarian, a Spiritualist, or even a Seventh-Day Ad ventist and you will be free. Or is It possible that these persons all joined church after they were put in prison? We have a hoirible suspicion that some or many of them did; and the figures, therefore mean only that the Missouri Baptists believe, more than any other denomination, that while the lamp holds out to barn the striped sinner may return. SQUARING THE CIRCLE. Persons who have looked Into the his tory of science a little, know that there are a few problems which men have tried for thousands of years to solve and have never succeeded. Their fail ure is somewhat of a reproach to the boasted power of the human intellect. To have tried so long and accomplished nothing should put us Into a humble frame of mind, and doubtless it would, were it not that we have still more rea son to be proud of our perseverance. Does not mankind deserve some credit for continuing to work at the problem of squaring the circle, for example, af ter allNthe thousands and tens of thou sands who have tried It and failed? A circle is a round straight line, with a hole in the middle. At least, so the school boy defined it in his examina tion paper, and, while his logic may not please the sour cynic and the quibbling pedagogue, it will pass; it will serve. It is as good as most definitions and better than many. Blackstone's defini tion of municipal law will not compare with It for lucidity. A wagon wheel ij a very good example of a circle, being round nd having also the Indispens able hole in the middle, which shows where the center is. It has the further pedagogical advantage that one can take the circumference off and examine it af his leisure. In most wagon wheels the circumference, or tire, is made of Iron, though modern luxury, consulting Its einful eaee, has begun to use rubber for the purpose. When a wagon is running, which moves faster, the top of the wheel or the bottom? We have heard scientists of high local repute contend that all parts must move with the same speed, neither top nor bottom going the faster, but this is an error. The cold, incred ible fact is that, even when the horses are running away, the bottom of each wheel is perfectly still. It does not move at all. The point where the drive wheel of a locomotive touches the track is always at rest, unless it slides or slips. Should one stretch a string from the bottom of a wheel to the top, ihs length would be the diameter; and if he should now wrap this same string on the out side of the wheel it would not go half way round; nay, not a third of the way. After applying the diameter to the cir cumference three times, there would still be a small space left. How big a space? There's the rub. There's the, consideration that has kept your circle equarer busy tor 3000 years. What number expresses the exact ratio be tween the diameter and the circumfer ence? Heaven knows, perhaps, but no body else does. Archimedes, the fine old scientist of Syracuse, tried his wits upon it not quite vainly. He found the approximate value which schoolboys still use and perhaps he was ciphering out a better one when the Roman sol dier came along and killed him. The great Newton tried his hand at this elusive ratio and gave a rule for com puting it. The only fault one can find with his method is that it never comes to an end. An enthusiastic circle squar er might begin ciphering In the cradle and continue till he was laid at rest under the flowers in the churchyard and still he would not have the answer. De voted German mathematicians have carried out the ratio between the cir cumference and diameter to more than 300 decimal figures and still the end Is not in sight. There are just as many figures "beyond as if they had not com puted a single one. The number is like eternity. No matter how much you cut off it is as long as ever. Mathematicians, call this ratio "Pi." Some say the name is an abbreviation of "Pie," and refers to the seductive ness of the problem. Others insist that it is merely the name of a .Greek letter. The reader may make his choice be tween the two theories. The important point is that a German savant proved some years ago that PI could never be found exactly. In other words the cir cle cannot be squared. This makes not the slightest difference, however, to the circle squarers. They continue to at tack their impossible problem with tire less zeal and every once in a while one of them solves it, or thinks he does. His envious rivals then shut him up in a madhouse. Circle-squarers, discoverers of the perpetual motion and those philosophers who can prove that the earth is fiat all belong in a class together. JETTY APPROPRIATION . IMPERATIVE. Paramount to all other work in con nection with an open river is the com pletion of the Columbia River 'Jetty. A forty-foot channel from Astoria to the headwaters of the Snake and Colum bia Rivers will be of small avail as a regulator of rates unless there shall be sufficient depth of water between As toria and the sea to admit of passage of large ocean carriers. The Columbia Basin has been retarded in growth and development by lack of both river and rail facilities. The condition of the Co lumbia River bar, before the jetty work had reached a stage where it was showing results, was such that a large share of the products of certain sec tions of the Inland Empire was diverted to Puget Sound. With a perfect under standing of the situation and a full knowledge that improveme'nts on the. Upper and Middle Columbia would be useless so long as the entrance to the river was of insufficient depth to ad mit the uninterrupted passage of large modern steamships, the Puget Sound papers for many years urged heavy appropriations for middle river im provements, but with strange incon sistency fought all appropriations for the mouth of the river. This policy had the effect of" pleasing the Eastern Wrashingtoniuns, who were, of course, anxious to have improve ment work Instituted on the Upper Co lumbia, and it also pleased a certain element on Puget Sound which objected to any appropriation tending to im prove the' mouth of the river. Fortu nately for the commerce of the Colom bia Basin, there has been a change in sentiment both in Eastern and West ern Washington. Investigation has taught the people east of the Cascade Mountains that there .will be no ad vantage In an open river above the Cascades if the products of the Inland Empire cannot find a deep-water outlet at the mouth of the river. Many of the products of the territory east of the Cascade Mountains are now being lift ed over a high range of mountains to seek a deep-water outlet on Puget Sound, but with the completion of the North-Bank Railroad the natural route for this traffic will be down the Co lumbia River. This road will be com pleted within a year, and its advan tages to Portland and the territory trib utary are to a great degree dependent on the condition of the entrance to the Columbia River. There is no question as to ' the ulti mate improvement of the bar below As toria, as the Government has already spent a considerable sum on the jetty project, and ha demonstrated its prac ticability beyond doubt. It will be a matter of regret, however, if the project is not immediately placed under the continuing contract system, so that there will be no delay in rushing it to completion. Washington advices of the past few days are to the effect that there will probably be available in the next river and harbor bill $1,000,000. with a possibility for the additional amount needed being carried in the sundry civil bill. If the amount needed is obtainable at once, so that the work can be pushed to completion next year, the increasing volume of commerce that will flow down the Columbia River to its natural outlet will make the open ing of the upper reaches of the river an imperative necessity, and will great ly simplify matters. There should, of course, be no cessa tion in the work already begun on the Upper Columbia iniprovenfente, but an appropriation sufficient to complete the work at the mouth of the river at once should not be jeopardized by asking too much for projects whose ultimate suc cess is dependent entirely on a first class entrance at the mouth of the river. Without such an entrance, the money which is expended on river im provements farther inland is thrown away. For this reason the fate of the river and harbor bill at the coming ses sion of Congress will be watched with greater interest than any of its prede cessors. The contract for boring the Chicago. Milwaukee & St. Paul's big tunnel through the Rocky Mountains has been let to Nelson Bennett, the man who built the Northern Pacific tunnel through the Cascade Mountains and hae recently completed the largest irri gation ditch ever constructed. Mr. Bennett several years ago made a brief but unsuccessful sortie into the realm of politics as a candidate for United States Senator from Washington, and was so fortunate as to get enough of the game at the first attempt. The po litical field may have been a distinct loser by the failure of Mr. Bennett to enter, but hte triumphs In the field of industrial conquest have been greater and more lasting than any that were possible In politics. The West is nota ble for its "big" industrial undertak ings, and few, if any, of these have ex ceeded in proportions the building of Stampede tunnel and the mammoth Idaho Irrigation ditch. When there is included with these great feats the building of a two-mile tunnel through the Rocky Mountains and the construc tion of hundreds of miles of railroad at different points In the West, the record of this industrial general becomes all the more striking. Every admirer of that pluck and grim determination which wins success will hope to see Mr. Beqnett encounter no obstacles in hie latest important work in aiding a new railroad to reach the Pacific Slope. The inadequate pay of Government employes and the attendant difficulty in securing the best talent, for Govern ment service is again brought to mind by the resignation of Major Gillette. This talented officer in the Army gave up a life position, near the head of the list, to accept one with the City "of Philadelphia for the term of five years at an annual salary of J15.000, or more than three times as much as he was paid by the Government. There will, of course, be no shortage In material from which to promote his successor in the Army, and it ia equally true that the City of Philadelphia can secure plenty of men at much less than $15,000 per year. But the Government will be unable to secure or retain men of Ma jor Gillette's talents for the regular sal ary, and the men that can be obtained by the City of Philadelphia' for less money than is paid Major Gillette are probably worth les3 than the ex-soldier. The National Grange, now in session in Denver, stands earnestly for the es tablishment of a parcels post and for Federal aid in building good roads. The Grange represents in these and other demands nearly a million members. Of the 1000 to 1500 delegates composing that body, all do not have votes upon the questions submitted, but all have a voice in the discussion of them. The aim of the organization, briefly stated by its chairman, is to obtain the re forms needed in the country and to give the farmer all that is coming to him. Worthy objects truly, but the magnitude of the work cut out is great. The demand for the farmer of "all that is coming to him'" is likely to be dic tated favoritism, and "reform" is spelled large or small according to the ideas of individuals. Nevertheless this great farmers' convention, with its enormous constituency, is entitled to and will have a respectful hearing upon questions that it raises. Captain Woods, an Astoria bar pilot, is quoted by Captain Morton, of the steamship Columbia, as stating that he had sighted the missing bark Iverna three times within the past week. If Captain Woods -was correctly quoted, or there was nothing wrong with his vision, Jt seems certain that either the pilotage or tug service at the mouth of the river is in need of an overhauling. If the Iverna came in sufficiently close to be sighted by a pilot-boat on three different occasions in one week, some one is at fault that she was not picked up and towed in. The experience of this unfortunate vessel, if she ever reaches port, will supply plenty of ma terial for an inquiry which ought to throw some light on the much-discussed bar tug and pilotage service. The death of Mrs. Maude Hurt Cref field in her prison cell at Seattle is another closing incident in a chapter of tragedies resulting from a strange religious mania. To all appearance kind Nature stepped in and relieved blundering man from further responsi bility as custodian of this erratic, err ing creature. The outward, wayward life we see Its hidden springs we may not know. Her girlish face appeals to common humanity in her behalf, even while the record of her. wayward, troubled life, written in blood and approved of folly, is an open page in the criminal annals of the times. Possibly she died a nat ural death; more probably she made her own quietus by some means known only to herself and a confederate, men tally unbalanced like herself. More than 7,000,000 acres have been added to the Idaho forest reserves this month, and from the amount of water that is pouring down to the ocean it is apparent that the addition of a few million more might not be a bad thing for the supply of moisture which will be in greater demand next Summer than it is at this time. Caruso, the great tenor, ran afoul of the law because he presumed to address a few honeyed words to a good-looking woman who happened to be a stranger. Has it come to this, that a tenor must be introduced like common people? The fertile valleys of the Puget Sound country laid waste by angry floods is a sight distressing to contem plate, even in imaginalion. Such a catastrophe comes but once in a gen eration, but once is quite enough. George Ade is now engaged in revis ing old stories by telling them in twen tieth century slang. His first product, "Pocahontas and Captain John Smith," will appear in The Sunday Oregonian one week from today. Francis J. Heney was married in Oakland yesterday. It may be hoped that he will not relax his vigilance in prosecuting grafters and land thieves upon the old plea of "having married a wife." , In his certificate of campaign ex penses Hearst neglected to mention the vast sums for publicity in his news papers, which came out of his own pocket. If Peary really wants to find the cold est spot on earth, he may look for it about midway between Senator Fulton and Senator La Follette. Let two nations comfort themselves with the hope that Count Boni won't write a book on the failure of marriage. What would Hearst say of a rich man who spent a quarter of a million running for Governor? The rumor that SenatoV Piatt will re sign is still busy. Give St time and it will do the work. JO.VES Otf THE JAPANESE "What do I think of our educating the Japanese in our public schools?" be gan Jones, in a . loud voice, as he ar ranged himself comfortably near the window on the front end of a Broadway car, one morning last week. No one had asked Jones anything, but that did not deter him. By introducing his own topic of conversation in an abrupt manner. he frequently got a start that only an unusually determined talker could break in on. Just then, as he was executing his usual, impressive pause. Jones looked at Jtmpson. -Jimpson was wrinkling up his face Into a contortion that he fondly imagined was a humorous smile. Jimpson's long suit was dog stories. He invariably introduced them with a loud. "Ha! ha!" The "Ha! ha!" had for its basis the humorous smile men tioned, which always preceded it. When Jones saw tiiat smile, he knew that unless he got in quick, Jimpson would spend all the rest of the way down town telling dog stories. Everyone liked Jimp son's dog, but no one cared for Jimp son's dog stories. He laughed so long and boisteriuusly during their progress that all his hearers wished that it was Jimpson's dog, instead of Jimpson, who could talk. "Well,"' continued Jones hurriedly, "if you want to know what I think about it, I can say this much, every son-of-a-gun of a Jap should be made to stay in San Francisco six months and be given free board and lodging, so that he could learn English before he comes North." "Doesn't you Jap talk good English?" inquired the motorman. "English! Why every time that Jap takes a fall out of our noble language lje reminds me of Jimpson's dog' "Ha! Ha!" ejaculated Jimpson. "What's the matter, old man." inquired Jones anxiously, seeing that he made a mistake.. "Mothcr-in-law sick? No? Well, that's too bad." Ha! Ha!" said Simpson again. "Say, Jimpson. that Isn't your dog fol lowing the car, is it?" said Jones sud denly, looking intently through the win dow. "As I was saying," Jones started off again after Jimpson had made a rush for the rear end. "our Jap's a nice, little fellow, but the way he talks Lng lish would make a dog laugh " "Ha! Ha!" This from Jimpson, who had made a quick return. "Speaking of dogs laughing that wasn't my dog following the car speaking of dogs laughing. I want to tell you of a thing that my dog did last night. He" "Yes," said Jones ponderously, ignor ing Jimpson's interruption, "the way that dog talks English would make a Jap lau " "Ha! Ha!" "Look here. Jimpson," said Jones angrily, "if you're going to illustrate my remarks I wish you would practice up in private and not make a noise like a sick sealion. To resume every time the dog laughs in Japanese that Englishman barks 1 I er er " "Last night." began Jimpson on an other tack, taking advantage of Junes confusion: "last night I heard Lazarus in the basement Jones named him Lazarus, you know. I raised him from a pup. He was a poor, sick, little fel low when I got him an and a oh, yes, I forgot." Last night, I heard Lazarus in the he-he-ha-ha last night I heard Laz ha-ha! last " "Don't hurry yourself, Jimpson," ad vised Jones. "I'm going to get off at the bridge, but I've plenty of time." "Ha! Ha!" "I guess, Jimpson, you'd better let me tell that story. In the first place, it wasn't last night: it was day. before yes terday. You told it to me at lunch yes terday; and last night you told It to my wife. I gained additional details regard ing that remarkable occurrence when I heard you telling it to Brown this morn ing on the way down to the car. "To be brief, gentlemen, the history of that astonishing event is as follows: "As usual, night before last Jimpson's furnace tire went out. The consequent drop in temperature was not noticed by him. It's only a fall in the stock market that will cause Jimpson to sit up and take notice. After a while Jtmpson. hearing a sound in the basement, wended his way toward those subterranean parts to ascertain what was t he so-called jocu lar demonstration that he afterwards as sumed to have conn; from lizarus. "You will understand me, gentlemen. I am not vouching for these facts of Jimp son's: I am merely repeating them. "Arriving in the infernal regions, Jimp son saw Lazarus standing there. Now Lazarus is quite a clever dog, even If he does belong to Jimpson. Lazarus was standing with a stick of wood in his mouth, one front paw on a copy of last week's Sunday Bugle, and a domino match between the toes of the other, be fore the furnace, trying to get the door open. Who laughed? Why, Jimpson laughed and thought it was the dog. Good morning, gentlemen." M. B. WELLS. I Thnt Sne Prlntery. Daily Astorian. To" a "man up. a tree," it looks ae if Frank C. Baker's generosity (?) in of fering to turn over to the State of .Ore gon, at the end of Mr. Duniway's term of office, four years hence, the printery and plant now at the Slate House, Ls just a bit far-fetched. After It has netted him hundreds of thousands of dollars; when he has been denied the chance to make any more out of it: when it has become old. worn and practically obso lete; when the probabilities are reason able that the state will go out of the business herself and put her printing out on public contract to the low est and best bidders: when every value of a private nature has been stripped from the outfit, he declares his purpose to present it to the state that has paid for it ten times over. We may be pardoned If we depre cate the inspiration behind the gift and express the hope that when the slate unloads the long-borne burden of this de partment, yhe will free herself absolutely by declining the "junk-pile" In gracious but at the same time peremptory terms. Another Merger. "Washington Star. A little bit of April An' a little bit o' June; A little hit o' August When the day approaches noon A little bit o' Winter As the sky gets cold and gray; A little bit of everything In one October day: I.autjhin" wltn the sunshine And a-tremblin' with the storm, Complainln' 'cause its chilly now, And then because it's warm; It keeps u.s all a-llin' in A most uncertain stato An' makes a feller feel Jes' like A weather syndicate! Th Grocer's Song. "Commercially correct." Thus means in effect. That that i the way we weigh Our scalf compute In amounts that suit, Kor that is the way you pay. Chorus. Oh! we love those scales. They Increase on fcalcs. They add to our pile each day. They usually delect, and losses correct. Oh! they are tl.e bos scales to weien-