Wi
fi? DID F0rMoO5EELT?
THE SPANISH-AMERICAN "WAR in
Cuba sent Theodore Roosevelt to
the Presidency. Will the present
trouble In the isle of unrest do the same
lor William H. Taft? It is a question
that interests the whole American peo
ple, and suggests a train of coincidences.
Before the Maine went to the bottom of
Havana harbor no one had seriously en
tertained the Idea thai Roosevelt might
some day occupy the chair of Washing
ton and Lincoln
The New Yorker, originally a reformer,
whom the regulars regarded with suspi
cion, had acquitted himself with credit as
Commissioner of Police In New York City,
and was regarded as a man of ability,
but no stretch of imagination had pic
tured him as one to suddenly vault into
the Governorship of the Empire State,
the Vice-Presidency, and finally the
Presidential chair by the biggest major
ity ever given to a candidate for the
office.
The glory that ca-me with the descent
on Cuba, the Rough Rider halo, did all
this for Theodore Roosevelt. It discov
ered to the American people that he was
a man of capacity in all directions. He
has borne the subsequent test, and de
served bis honors, but it cannot be denied
that without the events of the brief strug
gle in Cuba he might never have been
mentioned for the highest office in the
land,
Taft has gone to Cuba on a different
errand Roosevelt went there as man of
war, Taft for peace, but the Ohio man
ought to find a happy augury In the ex
perience of the present incumbent of the
"White House.
The Spanish-American war brought
Taft, like Roosevelt, to the front as a
man of varied abilities. He had been an
able member of the Ohio bar. and had
quickly been elevated to the bench by
Governor Foraker Then President Har
rison made him Solicitor-General of the
United States, from which place he re
signed to accept a United States Judge
Ship in the Sixth Judicial Circuit.
Taft In the Philippines.
This wa-s where he stood when Presi
dent McKinley. always partial to the
men of hi natH'e state, asked him to
except the chairmanship of the Philippine
Commission at a time when the problem
that the commission had to solve was the
most vexed before the country. Taft had
been an able, useful citizen, and an ideal
Judge, but he was in no sense a National
figure, until from motives of purest pa
triotism he resigned his congenial place
on the bench to go to the Philippine
' Tafr's work In the Philippines called
perhaps for more skill and diplomaey
than any phase of the tangle following
the struggle with Spain, but the 297-
y
BY ARTHUR CHAPMAN
F I EVER git dissatisfied with my
I present job o' pamperin' the dell-
cate appetites of a lot o' second
cousins o' Angora goat herders. I think
I'll try to git a roundup hand's chance
with Nmi Cubyan insurrection outfit."
aid Cauckw4on Cai, after the dally
Com
WHICH HAS WOK HIM
P I FAENDS AND SMOOTHED fX
OVER
DIFFICULTIES
cound Ohioan threw himself into
task with spler.did enthusiasm, and did
all that was required, using hia famous
smile and perpetual good nature as a
balm to smooth away the hurfs. He
danced at a public ball given in his honor
on his arrival, and the way he piloted
his bulk through the males of the Span
ish fandango delighted the Filipinos more
than could the most profound expression
of statesmanship.
It must not be understood that Taft's
work in the Philippines was all plain
sailing by any means. He and General
Chaffee differed as to the necessity of
keeping the islands under strict mili
tary law Taft thought a policy of pacifi
cation better: Chaffee argued that to
ease up in the least bit would be to for
feit all that had been gained by the dan
gerous and costly work of months.
The Governor prevailed eventually, and
the Filipinos soon came to look upon him
as their greatest friend.
Taft passed from the post of Governor
of the Philippines to that of Secretary
of War. when that post was vacated by
Ellhu Root.
Once again he proved the right man
for the right job. More than any man
in the country he understood the ques
tions that had grown up in Cuba and
tne Philippines, problems by no means
solved yet, but which must be matters
of concern for years yet to come. It
was a queer choice, big. good-natured
Bill" Taft. the man ot peace and fun,
to be charged with administering the
National military service, but the Cabi
net has known no abler member.
Xext to Roosevelt.
It is no secret in National Republican
political circles that once President
Roosevelt is eliminated, and he has
most positively stated that he will not
run for another term, Taft stands closer
to the chance of getting tae Republican
nomination for the Presidency than
any other man. Not that there are not
plenty of other candidates: Root is one,
so are Fairbanks. Beveridge and per
haps Cannon, but of all these the lead
er is Taft.
Even without having been chosen to
restore order out -of the Cuban chaos, l
n i
Hv : X---- 1
LKMiGOIV vLdl QlVLUDdIJr011llC:
The Cook of the Calf Wras'lers
Outfit Gives the Plainsman's View-
on the Getting Up of Revolutions
wrestle with the roundup camp's tattered
newspaper in the shade of the mess
wagon.
"Sometimes I git about half a disgust
with cookln'. spite o" what the poet
hands out about bein' able to live without
i- I J . 1 l.,r .i.'lli A
T ... ,
man dassent fire his cook. I s pose its !
'cause cMllzed man has got to have
somethin' he kin cuss, either publicly or
onder his breath, and a cook is the
handiest objict fer such purpose. A cook,
if he la a real cook, has got to be proof
against any cuss word ever Invented. It
used to bother me some when I first
started in. when some cowpuncher. after
znakin' an aobia void in a bis kittle o'
THE SUNDAY OREGOXIAX. PORTLAND, OCTOBER 21, 1906.
ofo
V X. LATEST PHOTO OF I ' :
the, HI ' A - - 1 B ' " " w z
O.CC-.-Af Y JjHJ -
UTS OLD
Taft had the best expectation, but the
publicity that will come to him in the
next few months, and the virtual cer
tainty that he will .be successful in re
storing a satisfactory condition in the
Pearl of the Antilles makes the specu
lation on Cuba as a new mother of
Presidents an interesting onej
f"1 1
oeans and hog linln', would tell me that
any Apache squaw had me hobbled when
it aome to the art o' cooktn'. I used to
lay awake nights, wonderin' how I could
Improve the grub layout to suit the Epi
curlouses with the roundup outfit, but It
didn't take me long to learn better. Now
if any puncher seta up on his haunches
and raises the long howl because of the
grub he's been demollshin', I walk over
to him, and. lookln' him square In the
eye. I say gently but firmly:
'Swaller yer words without salt or
pepper, and apologize fer profanin' this
outdoor edition of Delmonyco's with yer
chatterin' complaints. A cow camp is no
place fer a poverty-struck younger son of
a down-at-the-heel British fam'ly to bring
the inherited indigestion, which is the
only thing he ever picked off the fam'ly
. .r.. .
tree. Onderstand that in this country
the little finger of a cook is more to be
rev'renced than the hump of the sacred
cow of Injy. And also onderstand that
any perarie cook kin beat you ridin.
ropin. siiootin'. or doin' plain or feather
bone eewin'. So, after this, you amachoor
critic it's your play to set up like a
tongue-tier perarie dog when you hear me
holler grub pile!' "
"But you might find it different cooking
T
i vjv J VISIT G&FE7TIMG SOf7E: OF
JF&fFM&S IAT T7ZL JSfJLJJiPIHUS .
Taft has long wanted to go on the
bench of the United States Supreme
Court, the natural and proper ambition
of every great lawyer. A few years
ago this was probaibly the most he
could have asked of public life, but
he would be less than human if the
newer ambition did not engulf the old.
for Cuban lnsurrectos," said the Tender
foot. "Why, man, I wouldn't any more waste
my talents cooldn' down there than any
genuyine cowpuncher would put in his
time ridin' a mowin' machine or a hay
rake. What's the use o' any cookln" in
a country where a man has to look out.
when he's walkin' through the woods, fer
fear he'll bat his brains out ag'inst a
bunch of bananas, or where a misstep is
liable to Impale him on the cactus-like
pompadour of a pineapple? We tried our
heavy, alr-tlght meaJs o' civilization in
that country, and every time one of us
fellers in khaki stuck a can-opener to
the hilt In the hlssin' vitals of a tin o"
jungle food we stared death In the face.
No. our heavyweight style o eatin is the
last thing to worry about in the tropics.
If I started an insurrecto outfit, all I'd
need would -be a few sody -crackers and a
junta. If you are goin' Into the insur
recto business in a country where Latin
or hog-Latin is spoke, you must have a
junta. It don't matter if you are shy o'
men and ammunition if you have a good,
live junta in active workin order you
kin make insurrectin' a life job. And the
beauty about a junta is. it don't require
capital to start. It is Jest a sort o' cor
ner grocery store of revolutionary poll
tics, where the friends o' all the outs
1l&
It has been the experience of Taft
to have to accomplish the unusual, that
for which there was no precedent.
When he went to the Philippines h6
confronted a situation such as the
United States had never known before.
It was a new thing for Uncle Sam to
become the owner of a foreign island
coma to spit on the stove and plot trea
son ag'inst them that's in. A junta is
an incubator that can hatch a bird o'
freedom outen a doorknob. I would have
one o' these juntas established in Noo
York, and - there a busy corps o' press
agints would- be kept hard at work sup
plyln' noos about the progress, o' the glo
rious uprlsln' on the home ranch. The
Junta would hand out picters and stories
about Chuckwagon Cal. the whiskery
leader o' the -Cubyan insurrectin' forces.
There would be photographs o' Chuck-
wagon Cal. in all poses but his natural
one o' slumberin". and he would be hailed
as a man who made a throne totter or a
president tremble every time his spurs
Jingled. Occasionally the Junta would
6end out dark hints o' filibusterin' expe
ditions to carry arms to Chuckwagon
Cal's forces. All this would keep up
Yankee interest in the Insurrection and
when us Yankees git interested in any
thin' like a scrap we have to set up till
the movin' picters are in ahowin" the
knockout blow In the last round.
"In the meantime here I am, a-takin'
life easy in the Cubyan Jungle. There Is
no night hawk to rout me outen my
frost-spangled tarpoleon at 4 o'clock in
the mornin', and no foreman to make
the blue vault of heaven resound with
his yelp because the apple sass has run
out. I am swingin' there in a hammock,
as comf'table as a bobcat asleep in a
treetop. when in comes a barefoot kid
from the nearest telegraft office, with a
message fer me.
" "Seven American warships have start
ed for Havanner." says the telegram,
which is from my never-sleep junta,
which has a worse case of business in
somnia than the Pinkerton agency. 'Five
of the ships are carryin' the Sec'tary of
War. who is goin' to put the Pearl of
the Antilles in a Star-Spangled Banner
settin'. Congratulations and vivas."
"Whereupon I summon all my forces,
consistin' of one man. ridin a descend
ant of the Matanzas mule. 'My brave
musketeer of freedom.' I says, standin'
three-quarter face to him. so he kin see
May Not an Errand of Peace Accom
plish the Same Result as a
Rough Rider Halo?
The Big War Secretary's Diplomatic
Skill and His Famous
Fetching Smile.
and savage people at warfare with the
flag of the Republic.
Now in Cuba Taft has been dealing
with still more extraordinary condi
tions. He assumed the Governorship of
a nation that the world and the United
States recognize as a republic, but
whose government was voluntarily and
cheerfully turned over to Taft because
its own authorities admit their inabil
ity to prevent -rebellion, strife, blood
shed and anarchy.
A position of more delicacy could
hardly be imagined. It is a post that
requires firmness, lest in the early
stages an outbreak should work dam
age to American interests and result in
loss of life.
To come out of all this complication
successfully, as Taft has done, calls
for abundant patience and good na-
how much I look like George Washing
ton, 'our long struggle is at an end. We
have been out here, fightln' drowsiness,
fer weeks and weeks, but finally our
junta has made America set up an' take
notice. I see where this thing Is goin'
to be settled by arbitration, and the
most approved plan o' arbltratin' things
is to give the leaders o' both sides the
best Jobs in sight. Two hours will be
added, to our slester today In honor of
the glad news we have received."
"My words prove prophetic, for we are
summoned to Havanner, and the Yan
kee emissary holds up a baseball bat
and says: 'Now. you fellers will choose
up sides on this bat handle, jest as if
you was playin" two-ole cat.' So I toss
the bat to the president of the Ins. and
he grabs it by the middle with one hand.
Then I put one hand above his hand, and
he puts his other above mine, and so on
till we git to the top. when we yell. 'No
fair squeezin'!' And the Yankee emis
sary passes a knife blade around the.
top of the bat. to see the last hand ain't
overlappln'. Then he says, 'Cal, It's your
first choice." So I grab the office of
president of the noo Cuby libray outfit,
and the man who has been president of
the Ins, he takes the foremanshlp. Then
I appoint my army as segundo. and so
we go down the list till we have filled
all the offices down to ntght-herd and
boss -wrangler, each side havin' half the
plums. Then I declare my insurrection
at an end, and dissolve my Noo York
Junta, so Its members km come home
an' draw their lmpendin' sal'ries. The
Yankee warships in the harbor fire
twenty-one guns in honor of the noo
guv'mint, and we steps into our sev'ral
offices and pries open our rolltop desks
and proceeds to close-herd the sal'ry
roll."
"But how long does your government
last?" asked the Tenderfoot.
"Well, there was a puncher worked
for this outfit once, who was always
singin" a song about 'It May Be Fer
Years an' It May Be Forever. " said
Chuckwagon Cal, as he let down the
43
ture, as well as most, inspired diplo
macy. Indeed, it Is a sure Indication
of the true Presidential caliber of the
man.
His Fetching Smile.
It has been said of Taft that he cat!
do more with a smile than any man It
public life.
Here is another parallel to Roosevelt.
When the Rough Rider chieftain re
turned from Cuba, every paper and
magazine In the country delighted to
print pictures of a grinning face that
showed a set of good, strong molars,
parted with Jollity. This smiling Roose
velt face undoubtely contributed much,
to the popularity of the President, and
so it ought to help the case of Taft.
Taft never had the power to master
subjects without working. He has lit
tle of that suoerflclal brilliancy that
brings many public men to the fore
in a day, only to drop them back just .
as suddenly. He is Intellectually a
strong man, but his greatest gift is his
power of sustained work.
In Cuba he delved into every phase
of the situation, and investigated every
part of the jsland. met all of the men
who are factors, big and little, in the
present condition, traced every cause oC
quarrel, and addressed himself thor
ughly to the task- of correcting evils,
getting the malcontents propitiated, and
employing all his moderation, his san
ity and his energy toward the restora
tion of order.
Harvard has the honor of giving thai
country tne present Chief Magistrate.
If his successor is a Yale man, it will
he in great part because Taft h33
known how to deal wisely with the,
Cuban situation.
In dealing with the lighter affairs o(
life. Taft has been as equally success
ful as In shaping the destinies of na
tions. His famous trip to the Philippines
something over a year ago will not
soon be forgotten by any member of
his large party. The Secretary was
the life and fun of the crowd, full, of
Jokes and merriment from morn until
night.
Tne close friendship and good fel
lowship Mr. Taft cemented among th
members of his group on this Journey"
is more than indicated by the number
of weddings, that of the Presidents
daughter being in the lead, which re
sulted from the jaunt.
Indeed, they have been so numerous
that the Secretary, because of his ap
parent friendliness with love's little)
messenger, gained the nickname of
"Cupid Taft,'- which, not altogether to
his liking, has since stuck to him.
tailboard of the wagon preparatory to
mixing biscuit, "but I'm thlnkin' now
that everybody is gettin' onto the busi
ness opportunities lyin' around In the
tropical bush, and gov'ment of the Cuby
ans. by the Cubyans and for the Cubyans
wouldn't last much longer than it could
take some noo disturber of the peace to
hike for the Jungle and start another In
surrection." (Copyright. 1906, by Great
West Syndicate.)
Tony Pastor's Costly Parrot.
This tale was related to me a little,
while ago by tha principal actor of thai
story:
A number of years ago, in the day of
the old Boston & Providence Railroad,
Tony Pastor approached Baggagemaster
Davis, of the midnight express, which
was bound for New York, and said:
"I have here a parrot which I am very
desirous of having delivered at my the
ater in New York tomorrow evening, and
for the favor I am willing to compensate
liberally, also any time you want to at
tend a performance at my house, call
around and mention you are the man that
brought the parrot over from Boston."
Davis grasped the opportunity, saying:
"Thank you, Mr. Pastor, I shall see that
the parrot Is delivered, and shall avail
myself of the favor on the first occasion.'"
That night Davis told some boys on.
the train of his good fortune.
A couple of months passed and the bag
gageman Inquired for Mr. Pastor at th
box office.
"The manager Is very busy," said the
ticket seller, "'what did you wish to see
him for?"
"Just tell him," said Davis, "I'm the
man that brought the parrot over from
Boston?"
Turning on his stool, the man repeated
hia request.
"For my sake, John." bellowed out Mr.
Pastor, "send that parrot back to Bos
ton. There have been twenty railroad
men around here trying to work that par
rot yarn on me." Boston Herald.