The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current, August 26, 1906, Page 6, Image 6

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TIIE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, AUGUST 26, 1906.
i
Entered at the Prtoff!ce t Portland.
as Beoond-Claa Matter.
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PORTLAND, SUNDAY, AUGUST 6, 1906.
INDIVIDUAL AND AGGREGATE.
Among several other persons of emi
nent renown, Dr. David Starr Jordan
was requested by The Independent to
tell what seemed to him the best way
to spend the Sage miinons In charity.
He replied in a letter -whose magis
terial pomp and assured .dogmatism
were characteristic of the pedagogue.
He begins with a curious distinction
between -what contributes to the "hap
piness or force of individuals" and
what contributes toward the "aggre
gate wellbelng of society."
Philanthropy, he says, is the love of
men; and thlsi love shows Itself Jn prac
tice by doing something either' for the
happiness of Individuate or for the
wellbelng of society. Now the point we
wish, tb make is that there is no dif
ference, and there can be no differ
ence, between the happiness of indi
viduals and the. wellbelng of society.
The basic distinction which Dr. Jordan
starts out -with, like so much of the
reasoning of men trained in the pseudo
logic of Herbert Spencer, is purely il
lusory. One may admit, of course,
that the wellbelng of an individual may
be a detriment .to his fellow-men.
Every grant of special privilege,
whether of a franchise In the streets
or of tariff bounty, is In essence a
theft from the community; and, while
it makes a few individuals flourish, it
impoverishes the mass. This is evi
dent enough; but how shall we have
wellbelng in society as a whole without
happiness in the individuals which
compose it? How can we speak of, a
flourishing society the mass of whose
units are miserable?
Toward the close of his letter Dr.
Jordan contradicts his own distinction
and admits that the good of the whole
ultimately resolves itself into the good
of individuals; though . in the middle
paragraph he eays that the efforts
spent on Individuals are "of the lowest
Importance." What he really wishes
to say is that the best use to make of
the Sage millions is to found a univer
sity with them; but your true Spencer
Ite can never express a simple thought
in plain -word6. A certain pomp of
language is essential to his repose of
mind. A university, he thinks, would
husband the principal and spend only
the income, thus making the gift per
petual; while, if spent on Individual
cases of need, it would soon be gone.
This is true enough, of course. But
whom does a university benefit 1f not
individuals? It can only act upon the
social aggregate by influencing stu
dents one toy one.
The fallacy that we can have a
flourishing aggregate with miserable
Individuals composing It is not pecu
liar to Dr. Jordan. It is one of the
most common in the world, and most
pernicious. Thus, some .Oregon poli
tician, whom not. one in a thousand
of the inhabitants of the state ever
heard of, gets an appointment In
Alaska or the Philippines, and we hear
the jubilant cry that "Oregon has the
plum." What man, woman or child
is the better for it? The only genuine
way to give Oregon a plum is to do
something for the 'individual Inhabi
tants. . To select a certain person and
heap favors upon him wrongs the
masses more often than It benefits
them. The petty politicians of all 6orts
use the fallacy for their own benefit.
When some locality revolts against
boss rule, the astute master of state
craft chooses a man from the rebellious
quarter and puts him in office. This
instantly calms the unrest, for the peo
ple have received a favor. What
favor? What does any one of them
get out of it?
France under Louis XIV contained
some millions of starving serfs and
perhaps two hundred thousand rich
and happy priests and nobles. The
world spoke then of the glory and hap
piness of France. Of course, if we ig
nore the great majority of Its inhabi
tants, France was happy. In the same,
way the prohibitive tariff makes
America prosperous. , It makes certain
specially privileged Individuals pros
perous at the expense of the rest. In
the days when the monarch was the
date. If he was happy the state was.
happy, though at the same time half
the population might have been starv
ing, and all of them besotted In ig
norance. When the state came to
mean the aggregate of Its noble and
wealthy owners, then their happiness
was the only thing worth considering.
Under the plutocracy which hopes to
control this country, the sole object of
solicitude will be the profits that can
be extorted from . the people. When
these profits are large the Nation will
be happy; when they run short it will
be miserable. What may happen to
the populace will be of no more conse
quence than the fortunes of the wheels
in the machinery. The plutocracy
cares not so nmch for the welfare of
the people as the Greeks did for their
slaves; not half so much as a miller
does for his millstone.
There Is no such thing as National
.wellbelng without wellbelng among the
.nita of, JjaUua. Xfc.9 prosperity, si
selected Individuals is no criterion to
Judge by. The only .question worth
asking is. "What is the condition of
the lowest stratum?" For the lowest
stratum comprises Invariably the enor
mous majority of the human beings Jn
the commonwealth. This is sound
American -doctrine. The founders of
the Republic admitted no National
prosperity apart from the equal pros
perity of the inhabitants. They con
templated no'class which should fatten
on privilege while the common herd
devoured the wind and adored the
glorious state of their superiors. The
keynote of Americanism is individual
ity, and individuality implies equality
of opportunity and the equal enjoy
ment of public betterments. The true
American talks not of the "social ag
gregate," but of the independent, live
man. What Is happening to John
Smith? is the question which lies at
the root of American institutions. . We
have learned1 to delude ourselves with
pretentious talk of what America is
doing and what snow America is mak
ing in the world, forgetting that
America is no more than the mass of
rejoicing or sorrowing Americans.
The tendency of modern politics and
philanthropy is to reach the individual,
ignoring that vain myth which Spen
cerians call "the aggregate," and the
tendency is thoroughly democratic and
wholesome. .
PORTLAND AND A 40-FOOT CHANNEL.
Is Portland honestly In favor of a 40-foot
channel from the sea to the riverside of the
Columbia bar? That Is the question we want
answered without equivocation or frills of any
sort. We want an answer that will stand In
the record of her future dealings with this
vital issue, minus all sophlMry and double
dealing and narrow prejudices. That's what
we want. Morning Astorlan.
It is not' important that the question
should be answered, but The Oregonian
will answer, for the thousandth time,
without equivocation or frills of any
sort, that Portland is in favor of
a 40-foot channel, or a deeper channel,
at the entrance of the Columbia. Port
land always has been for an unob
structed channel at the mouth of the
river. It is vitaV to the city's commerce.
It is not easy to understand why the
Astoria papers persist, and have per
sisted through the years. In printing
the dishonest nonsense about Portland's
hostility to bar improvement, except
on the theory that the silly season lasts
the year round for Astoria Journalism,
and Astoria papers count that day lost
on which they cannot invent and pub
lish some new falsehood to the detri
ment o'f Portland. It does no particu
lar harm, perhaps, except to the news
papers themselves, for everybody in
Astoria knows better, and looks for
the truth, not In the Astoriapapers,
but in The Oregonian.
The labor of opening up the Colum
bia River, and keeping it open, has
been done chiefly by Portland,' through
work in Congress by members of the
delegation from this city, by the ex
penditure of large sums of its own
money, and by constant vigilance and
ceaseless effort, of every kind. This is
not to deny to Senator Fulton credit
for all the excellent work he has done,
is doing, and will do; but it is to say
the thing that ought to be said for
Portland. Portland has done much
from its own means for the Columbia,
What has Astoria done?
THE OLD MAID.
"The Single Woman's Problem" has
lately been discussed in the American
Magazine with the zest and energy
that is characteristic of any condition
of modern life that reaches the status
of a "problem." In offlclousness and
gratuitous advice, this discussion ri
vals that which has been frequently
raised toy the similarly officious, tout
greatly restricted question, "What
shall we do with our ex-Presidents?"
Up one side and down another, the
question has been discussed, now with
scintillations of wit, as when Char
lotte Perkins Giiman enters the lists;
again with old-fashioned prosing,
as when Mrs. L. H. Harris declares
that "It Is better to be a good mother
than to be a great artist, or a great
musician, or a great anything else";
and yet again when, with plain, common-sense
Dorothy Canfleld declares
that "the only thing to do is to accept
things as they are, recognize the fact
that, rightly or wrongly, society has
directed its course toward some un
known new .phase of woman's life, and
to strive mightily and intelligently as
we may to make the movement pro
ductive of as much good and as little
suffering as may be during the very
trying period of transition from one
set of standards to another."
It is in vain, however, that Mrs.
Harris a protected, sheltered woman,
who sees no reason why every woman
is not sheltered and protected recalls
the old days wherein there was no
"woman problem" outside of marry
ing early and accepting submissively
what followed; that Dorothy Canfleld
asserts that civilization is but a steady
struggle against human nature; that
Mrs. Giiman declares that, it is high
time that parents learned to estimate
rightly their duty to their daughters
by helping them establish themselves
strongly in life while yet the parents
are there to help and direct, to the end
that they may not come to the estate
of "elderly orphanage," a position at
once pathetic and "ridiculous. The
"problem" remains unsolved except as
strong, earnest women inject into it
their own individuality, their own defl
nlteness of purpose, and reach conclu
sions satisfactory at least to them
selves. The "old maid" of other days was
not, as has been Intimated, without a
problem to solve. Many a one of her
class, like the maiden aunt in Whit
tier's "Winter Tale,"
Found peace in love's unselfishness,
and took meekly her lot of being
shifted about from place to place,
wherever the spirit of selfishness
called her to servlpe. Her problem ex
isted, though no statement of its equa
tions appeared, and its solution was
simply proclaimed over a closed cof
fin in the words, "She hath done what
she could." Day after day, year after
year, the "old maid" worked silently,
patiently, upon the problem of life as
it came to her, eating perhaps of the
grudged bounty of relatives, and
faithful and loyal to the end.
There are no "old maids" today
blessed ba enlightenment and. the
single woman, unless she is a luckless
"left over" from a long-ipast genera
tion of which she is the sole survivor,
is able to solve the problem of home
and maintenance without accepting as
sistance, grudgingly offered. She does
not scurry about in scrimped, rusty
raiment, responding now to a call in
the family of a sister too poor to hire
help, whose nine children are down
with the measles, with the threatened
complication of whooping cough; or
again making the rounds of the neigh
borhood in which typhoid fever has
become epidemic, "sitting up" now
with one patient and now, with an-
other, bee unpaid, nexyiie feejg lakes,
as quite a matter of course, "because
she has no family of her own."
Not in such cringing servitude does the
single woman of today work upon the
problem of her existence. It never
occurs to her that she has no place
in the world, or that she has missed
her vocation in life because she did
not see fit to accept an offer of mar
riage that did not appeal to her as
desirable. She goes upon the principle
stated by Mrs. Giiman that "the first
duty of the Individual is to serve hu
manity by doing his or her best
work," thus eliminating outside inter
ference or philanthropic officiousnees
from the problem of her life and prov
ing to this world that a woman may
be happy and useful and fill a cheer
ful niche in life, though unmarried.
HE HAS NO CANDIDATE.
Theodore Roosevelt has no candidate
for President of the United States, not
even himself. It. Is unfair and con
temptible to doubt that he meant what
he said, and all he said, when he dis
tinctly declared that he would not be
a candidate nor accept a renomina
tion; and It is scarcely lee-s unfair to
assume that he is lending the influ
ence and prestige of the Administra
tion to name his successor. It may
readily be imagined that Mr. Roose
velt "Jollied" Speaker Cannon on being
the next President of the United
States on the occasion of their late col
loquy, but the Cannon boomers will
be able to make very little capital out
of a jocular and trivial remark, if it
was made at all. Besides, the Presi
dent's opinion on the subject as to
the probable identity of the next Presi
dent is not official nor authoritative.
It is no better than anybody else's, and
it might be worse. It certainly is
worse, If he thinks there is a strong
likelihood of Mr. Cannon's success.
Few others do, not even Mr. Cannon
himself, who refuses to take his can
didacy seriously.
President Roosevelt Is undoubtedly
very friendly to Secretary Taft, end
would doubtless be pleased to see him
nominated for President. But we ex
pect to see him pleased if Root, an
other member of his official family
and his intimate personal friend, or
Shaw, still another Cabinet officer, or
Fairbanks, the Vice-President, or Can
non, the Speaker, or any other, shall
be nominated toy the Republicans. It
is his business to be pleased, and he
will not interfere between them, toe
cause' he should not and cannot with
out greatly jeopardizing the Important
measures in which his Administration
is deeply and vitally concerned. Presi
dent Roosevelt is no kindergartener
in politics or statesmanship. '
GOLDEN EGG GOOSE IN PERIL.
In an Interesting communication on
the salmon fishery question Mr. Rosen
berg 'labors under a misapprehension
regarding the attitude of The Orego
nian. In the paragraph to which he
takes exception there was no intention
to sanction in the slightest degree any
unlawful or objectionable methods of
taking the fish; and It will not bear
that construction. The Oregonian has
for years made common cause with
those who were seeking to perpetuate
the great-industry, and, so far as lay.
within its power, has ever endeavored)
to secure legislation calculated to pre
serve the industry. There has never
been a question but that traps and
wheels were more destructive than
gillnets, and, if the taking of fish could
be restricted to the gi'.lnet method, a
much larger number would reach head
waters to spawn. But there are cer
tain property rights vested in the own
ers of trap locations and wheel loca
tions, of which it is impossible legally
to deprive them without compensation.
It is not, however, impossible to keep
these traps and wheels within certain
bounds, and to regulate the size of the
meshes which they can use. If the ob
struction of the Columbia River by
traps and wheels is confined- to the
waters lying adjacent to the shares and
the obstructions are kept out of the
principal channels where the gillnetters
make their drift, there will be plenty of
room for a large number of salmon to
get around and under the nets. With
the traps escape is -practically impossi
ble. Protective legislation is something
in which tooth fishermen and canners
are interested, and, unless a little more
interest is taken in the matter, we shall
soon have killed the goose that laid
the golden eggs.
. SUMMER SHIP SUBSIDY SOPHISTRY.
. When a considerate and well-meaning
Congress tenderly placed the ship
subsidy bill in cold storage a few
weeks ago, it was hoped that its mil
lionaire sponsors would favor, a. long
suffering public by permitting it to rest
in peace until the dog days were over.
But, while the Griscoms, Morgans,
Rockefellers and the rest of the select
band of millionaire brigands who are
so deeply Interested in American ship
ping are lolling in cool luxury In their
Summer retreats, the ship-subsidy pro
motion machine Is still working. The
product of the .machine shows but lit
tle difference from that which was
turned out years ago, when a tounch
of millionaires first made the discovery
that American shipping might be used
as a vehicle with which to drag forth
some of the remaining millions that
other trusts had . overlooked in their
raids on the United States Treasury.
Leslie's Weekly is the latest addition
to the ranks of the subsidy-hunters.
In the current issue of that paper ap
pears a hysterical collection of para
graphs grouped under the heading,
"Shameful Neglect of American Ship
ping." The article is fathered by An
drew V. Henry, who seems shocked
and grieved at the manner in which
American shipping has been neglected,
and he emphasizes his dismay, by the
use 'of italics wherever he uses the
word "shame" at the end of each of
his column of grotesque paragraphs.
As a sample of the Summer styles in
ship-subsidy literature, the following
are quoted:
Every day more than $500,000 ia withdrawn
from the treasury and paid to foreigners for
carrying: American trade. Ninety per cent
of this vast sum Is expended in wages to for
eign labor. Shame!
It costs from 40 to 100 per . cent more to
build an American than a foreign ship, and
from 20 per cent to 40 per cent more to oper
ate it. All other countries pay aubsldles. We
do not. Shame! ,
These two paragraphs are fair sam
ples of the rest of the "Shames!"
which Mr. Henry feels over the fail
ure of Congress to make the graft pos
sible. Of course, this latest addition
to the band of patriots who need the
money does not openly state that the
vast sum mentioned should be with
drawn from the Treasury and present
ed to Griscom, Morgan, Rockefeller
et al.; tout that Is the natural infer
ence. Accepting Mr, Henry's figures
as correct, which, in view of his other
statements, may be an unwarranted
assumption, the foreigners are per
Xormlng for ua a service hichj by. Mr.
Henry's own figures, would cost us
20 to 40 per cent more If we took it
away from them. In other words, the
subsidy-hunters demand that the mil
lions of American farmers and manu
facturers who produce the cargo for
the ships should pay over to the little
band of millionaire shipowners $600,000
to $700,00 per day for exactly the same
service as is now, toy Mr. Henry's own
admission, costing $100,000 to $00,000
per djfy less. Is it any cause for won
der that even the millions at the com
mand of the subsidy-hunters have
failed to work their Infamous bill
through Congress?
"Our markets would be widened, our
exports increased, freights reduced, ex
port prices increased and import prices
decreased," continues this oracle. All
of which is, of course, the sheerest
rot. There is a surplus of tonnage in
the world today, and, owing to the
resultant cheap freights the lowest
ever known on most routes we can
reach any market in the known world,
and our foreign trade is increasing
more rapidly than ever before. But
why continue? So long as the subsidy-hunters
proceed on the theory
that a lie well told is as good as the
truth, just so long will they continue
in their endeavors to mislead the pub
lic and secure legislative authority for
a raid oh the Treasury.
THIS IS SALEM'S YEAR.
A year ago there was no State Fair.
The fair management thought it would
be both unwise and discourteous to run
its show in opposition to the Lewis and
Clark Exposition, and it left the field
open. It did more. It employed what
ever resources were at Its command to
direct. the general public attention to
the great fair a Portland, and altogether-manifested
a most admirable
and helpful spirit of co-operation.
True, a Stale Fair in the Lewis and
Clark year 1905 might not have done
a great deal to detract from the large
enterprise; but nevertheless the '05 Ex
position would not and could not have
been a success if the people of Oregon
had not joined hands in its behalf. The
promoters of the Salem Fair were chief
among the outside friends and co
workers with Portland, and they de
serve to toe rememibered for their gen
erous and patriotic conduct.
But it Is not . a Salem Fair. It is a
fair in which the whole state and
every county and town in the state
ought to be interested. It is largely an
agricultural fair whose leading pur
pose is to exploit the resources and
exhibit the products of Oregon; and,
inasmuch as every person in Oregon
has an interest, direct or indirect, in
agriculture, he ought not to be Indif
ferent to the event at Salem for the
week September 10-15. Once there was
nothing in the state to be compared to
the fair, and everybody went for fun,
recreation -and Instruction and found
all three. . Now there -are other-things,
but the fair is in all respects bigger,
finer, better, more varied, more at
tractive and more worth seeing. They
are going to hold a great Oregon De
velopment League meeting at Salem
September 11-13, and that will be worth
attending, for it means much for Ore
gon. But the fair's the big thing, just
the same. Every, one from Portland
and the state who can should" attend.
The Oregonian will guarantee that he
will find out a few things about Ore
gon, Oregon people and, Oregon indus
tries that he didn't know before.
THE SOFT-SNAP MAN.
One of the marvels of a busy sea
son, with its demand for labor in
every line, is the number of men who
stretch their listless length day after
day on the grass of the park blocks
in this city, or doze on the park
benches over the sporting columns of
the daily papers. True, the grass is
cool and the shade inviting at pres
ent; but it does not require a very
lively imagination . to picture these
same grounds In the Winter, when
Nature is taking her annual rest and
does not invite the Summer lounger
to share it with her.
The call to labor Is resounding
throughout the land. No-able-bodied
man is now idle except from choice;
he wages offered everywhere and in
every vocation are living wages, with
something to spare for the rainy day
that two months hence will repeat it
self more or lees continuously through
out the Pacific Northwest until Spring.
It Is not work, however, that the
park idler wants. He would even
scorn "employment" unless It came, to
him with the "soft-snap" guarantee.
And it may be as well to say, though
the statement may shatter the languid
hopes of the soft-snap man, that this
guarantee does not accompany the de
mand for labor that Is heard on every
hand. Employers were never more
willing than now to concede the truth
of the assertion, "The laborer id worthy
of his hire," nor were they ever less
ready than now to palter with men
whonvork under compulsion and per
form as little actual service for the
stipulated wage as Is possible.
There is work in the harvest fields,
but the soft-snap man does not and
need not turn his steps that way; soon
there will be iwork for hundreds of
hands in the hopyards, but if the soft
snap anan wends his way thither look
ing for a job that will be simply an
"outing," with wages as an attraction,
he will soon discover that hopplcklng
does not fill the measure of his de
sire. Later there will toe potatoes, to
dig and prunes to pick, in either of
which occupations a willing, industri
ous man can make wages; but the soft
snap man will not bend his back to
such lowly tasks. Dairymen need
help, but their need is not met by the
soft-snap man. The sawmills were
never so driven with orders as now,
and never before was help that de
serves the name more sure than now
of a place in the lumber industry, at
good wages. But the soft snap does
not lurk in and about millyards.
Even in the so-called lighter voca
tions the demand for labor has no
soft-suap guarantee. Clerks , are
wanted in department stores for use,
not for ornament; shipping clerks find
no soft snap behind the enormous piles
of goods waiting to be shipped, and
even the office boy has need of ready
legs upon which to bear him about on
pressing errands, and of a cheerful
voice in which to respond to the in
sistent business call of the telephone.
In brief, there is work to do in every
department of labor, business and
trad. But there are no soft snaps
awaiting the listless approach of the
park idler, the street-corner lounger,
the bummer at the Men's Resort or the
lodger In the Salvation Army barracks.
And if ever there was a time for the
edict, "Those who will not work must
not eat," which was the basis of In
dustrial discipline in the large fami
lies of a past generation, that time is
at hand.
The park concerts have been a lead
ing feature of amusement and pleas
ure la this city, for some weeks. They;
might well conclude with a grand
roundelay of sturdy voices rendering
the "Song of the Old Brown Grass
hopper," the plaintive Tefrain of which
was: '
Oh. In the long bright Summer time
I treasured, up no store.
Now the last full Bheaf. is garnered
And the harvest days are o'er.
CHRISTIAN SOCIALISM.
Everybody could read with pleasure,
and almost everybody with profit. Dr.
Parkhurst's article on "Christian So
cialism" in the September Munsey's.
The doctor, like all ministers, is wise;
but, unlike some, he is also witty. He
not only tells about socialism, but he
tells it with quips and cranks and
wanton wiles which make the reader
wish he would go on when he con
cludes to stop. And what a 6top he
makes! It is almost' tragic, for his
last words are that socialism is to be
the paramount issue in the Presiden
tial campaign of 1912, perhaps even in
that of 1908. Suppose he were right.
It would be something of a surprise,
not to say a painful surprise, to the
politicians who are "standing pat,"
wrangling over the credit of the rate
bill and doing other foolish things.
For pure folly, commend us to the
dyed-in-the-wool politician when the
people are getting ready to make an
issue that means something.
Dr. Parkhurst's Christian Socialism
is not much different from any other
brand of socialism, so far as we can
discern, but there Is a good deal in a
well-chosen name. The doctor selected
this one, doubtless, for advertising
purposes, and in that field few would
venture to dispute his pre-eminent
skill. The name is therefore highly ap
propriate; it must be. Property, he
says, begins In grab. Sometimes the
grab is a long way back in the past,
and then we glorify it and bask in its
beams as in the sun of righteousness.
Sometimes It is not very remote, and
then we apologize for it. Sometimes
it is right With us, and then we call it
theft. Since property begins in grab,
its ethical foundations, the doctor
thinks, are a trifile insecure. What we
own is ours, under limitations. It is
ours until the county sells it for taxes,
or the railroad takes it for a right of
way, or some trust forces us to sell it
at half its value. Certainly it is not
ours to do as we like with 1n any case
whatever. . Property, he thinks, is In
the nature of a trust committed to the
owner for the benefit of his brethren,
and those brethren are all-mankind.
The principle of brotherhood is to re
place that of piracy, he believes, as
the rule of society. Under piracy we
hold our property, until someone is
strong enough to take it away from us.
Under the rule of brothet'iood we shall
hold it until someone i3 weak enough
to establish a claim to it. That broth
erhood is gaining upon, piracy he seems
to believe, and certainly there are
facts abroad which look like it. Chris
tianity, by the way, is founded upon
the doctrine of the brotherhood of man,
which Jesus .was always preaching.
He had very little to say about the
virgin birth, very little about the apos
tolic succession, nothing at all about
predestination, election or original sin,
but page after page about the brother
hood of man.
Christ, Dr. Parkhurst says, was the
original socialist. He seems unable to
give that good and great man his right
name, Jesus, and always calls him
"Christ," which he never called him
self. The early Christians in Jerusa
lem were communists, mistaking their
Master's teachings in this as in al
most every other particular. The doc
tor does not believe in community of
goods. In this he agrees with every
other socialist in the world. What so
cialists are after is their rightful share
of the products of their labor. It is
wrong, therefore, to speak of them as
"the lazy socialists." It is not a symp
tom of laziness to want what right
fully belongs to a man. They are
truly the lazy members of society who
live, as the Astor family does, upon
the earnings of others. The principle
of brotherhood, the doctor thinks, will
presently dominate human relations
and will lead every man who employs
labor to -make It an equal partner in
his enterprise. If capital does one
half in the work of production, labor
does the other half, and should share
alike with the employer. In this par
ticular Dr. Parkhurst is a little hetero
dox. Your genuine socialist will not
concede any share at all to the capi
talist. He retrieves himself, however, on the
tariff. No Bryanite of them all could
exceed his wrath against robber Dln
gleyism. He denies that a manufac
turer has a right to starve American
labor to produce cheap goods for the
Hindoos and Hottentots. He denies
that the tariff benefits the laborer one
iota. He says In plain words that it
steals his substance and confers It
upon the paunchy plutocrat. When
brotherhood prevails we shall have no
protective tariff; some people hope that
-we shall have none long before that
happy time. We Americans are a fam
ily, he says, where in prosperous sea
sons the children are starved to send
.presents to the neighbors. In toad
times that is, in seasons of overpro
duction and panic the closets are
stuffed with coats and the hallways
with shoes, while the children shiver
coatless in their bare feet.
The simple fact of the case is that,
of all the old problems which have
worried the human race since time
began, not one has yet been solved,
with all -our science and all our re
ligion and all our philosophy. The
prostitute still plies her trade as she
did in Sodom. The poor go hungry
while the rich man stuffs his belly with
fat things and washes his feet in but
ter like poor old plutocratic Job. Chris
tianity claims to hold the key to all
these problems. Why not produce It?
Perhaps It has been lying In a dark
closet for a thousand years or so, and
Parkhurst Is the lucky man who has
at last found where it was hidden. .
It would be a wholesome thing and
take something from "the shame of
the colleges" if a few bumptious, pug
nacious sophomores were permanently
disabled at a "College rush" like that
recorded at Berkeley Friday evening.
A genera! melee, in which shirts are
torn from the backs of the partici
pants, eyes are blackened and bodies
bruised, is considered cause for inter
ference on the part of the police when
thugs engage in it. By what stroke of
reasoning it becomes the pastime of
gentlemen and gentlemen's sons in the
pursuit of higher education it is dif
ficult to conceive.
I
Vice-President Fairbanks will be a
conspicuous figure in Boise during the
early sessions of the 'National Irriga
tion Congress. He will reach Boise
September 3, and will be made the
chief attraction of the Labor day cele
bration in the afternoon, after having
opened the Irrigation Congress in the
morning.. .While the .Vice-President is
generally' regarded as a figurehead,
whose possibilities of advancement are
of accident rather than of merit, the
dignity of his office is everywhere rec
ognized, and honors paid to him are
honors due the Administration in which
he is in close touch. Mr. Fairbanks is
an interesting speaker and will say
something to which It will be worth
while to listen, whether speaking in
the interests of irrigation or labor.
In a communication published on
page 15 of this, issue, P. J. Mann
focalizes about all there Is to say rela
tive to Portland's duty with regard to
the Southern Pacific Company's occu
pancy of Fourth street. It has no
vested rights. Threatened with denial
of the temporary privilege to operate
steam cars, it promises to create a
new connection between the West Side
lines and the terminal grounds by
bridging the Willamette at Elk Rock,
at the same time asking the right to
run electric cars on Fourth street. To
this arrangement small objection Will
be offered, provided Just compensation
for the use of the highway be paid,
but In justice' to all parties let a
written record be made of the trans
action. Repeal the old ordinance.
Then let the Council pass a new one
carrying the right for the trolley. The
corporation appears willing to enter
into such a contract; so let It be
signed, sealed and delivered.
At the international automobile races
in Belgium a few days since, an aver
age speed of seventy miles was main
tained by the winner over a run of 371
miles. To make up for slowing down
at curves, one hundred miles an hour
was the gait on straight, level
6tretches. Extraordinary endurance
must have been required to withstand
the atmospheric Impact. The race
makes pat a story told by the Spring
field Republican. A Boston millionaire
recently visited one of the young Van
derbilts at Newport. He was taken for
a run in a big racing machine, and
stood the experience until the speed
rose to upward of eighty miles an
hour, when. In terror, he tried to call
to the driver beside him to slow up.
But Instead of being able to call, he
found, so runs the story, that once he
had opened his mouth he could not
shut it, so violent was the blast. For
tunately, the stretch permitting such
speed, was short.
The Bryan ovation scheduled to be
held in New York next Friday will, it
Is predicted, rival in numbers and en
thusiasm the home-coming reception
given to Admiral Dewey after his
achievement at Manila Bay. If the en
thusiasm that prompts it wanes as
quickly and as permanently as did
that represented by the Dewey recep
tion,' the voluble Nebraekan's star will
be In eclipse long before the meeting
of the Democratic National Conven
tion. An ovation in New York is not
a forerunner of continued political or
even of personal popularity. The
Blaine fiasco and the Dewey slump
are conspicuous evidences of this fact.
Again the story is going the rounds
that King Edward, due late this month
at Marienbad for his annual cure, is
in a bad. way. Americans' who have
had audience with him any time the
past year make similar reports. These
are not new. They were circulated and
had credence long before his mother
died. Five years ago Immediately pre
ceding the coronation ceremonies, the
world was alarmed over. an attack that
the surgeon's knife relieved. Evi
dently Edward inherited a good constitution,-
but there is no probability
that he will reach bis mother's years,
though he may reign for another de
cade. He is now 65.
Statistics of the insane for 1904 have
just been completed by the Bureau of
Vital Statistics at Washington. They
show that both the hospitals and the
number of insane in this country have
doubled in thirteen, years. This does
not necessarily prove that the ratio
of Insanity has increased to the ex
tent noted. It may mean, and doubt
less does mean, that more insane peo
ple are cared for In asylums than for
merly. Thus interpreted, it Is a trib
ute to our humanity and to the prac
tical view that medical and sanitary
scientists take of the unfortunate men
tal attitude known as Insanity.
During August a very large number
of Immigrants suffering from tra
choma, a disease which usually ends
in blindness, landed in New York from
European ports. They now over
crowd the contagious hospital at Ellis
Island, and many patients have been
sent to other hospitals. Sooner or
later, most of them will be deported
under the Government regulations.
The present influx of cases shows1 that
the steamship companies have relaxed
vigilance in inspection at foreign ports.
A farmer who would Insist upon re
taining and using the machinery that
was In common use two or three de
cades ago, resenting: all suggestions
that the machinery needs revision,
would toe a good stand-patter, but his
neighbors would predict a short ex
perience for him In the farming busi
ness. The man who can adjust him
self to changing conditions, but won't,
is a candidate for the retired list.
George Hazzard bobs up In Indiana
with a, long string of victirrw to his pe
culiar financial operations. Nearly
everybody in this country thought
Hazzard was dead, a belief that he
would doubtless have encouraged for
his own benefit if he had known of it;
but evidently he is not. It is appar
ently ordained that the grafter of the
Hazzard type shall never die.
The Southern Pacific will probably be
willing; to agree that- Fourth 6treet
shall toe electrified and the steam cars
taken over to the East Side, when
ever they can be brought back through
Thos. McCusker's tunnel.
If it be true that Sheep King Cun
ningham dropped $40,000 In a Seattle
bunco game, it may be.surmlsed that
he learned his methods of finance from
his sheep.
There will be a general welcome for
Senator Gearln. The Senator has
probably observed that the people of
Oregon prefer to have him at home.
President, Palma figures that it will
take about eight rapid-fire American
guns to put dawn the revolution. Evi
dently It Isn't a popgun revolution.
The Seattle prizefight' bunco artists
were careful to steal no Seattle money.
The Seattle spirit is a marvelous
thing.
The bomb-throwers have reached the
Premier, and the Czar may ,be next.
It's the same old Russia,
THE PESSIMIST.
There was a detective named Day,
But you see it wasn't his way
To tell to Pat" Bruin
The things he was doln'
So now he's a sleuth without pay.
It Is only during times of great pros
perity and real estate values that we
tolerate the seedy Individual with the
look of sad retrospection In his eyes who
"ays: "Why, four years ago I could have
bought a half-block on steenth street
between AVashington and Alder for $11..
000!" Four years ago he couldn't buy a
five-cent bag of peanuts without borrow
ing a nickel from a friend.
In a paped read before the American
Association for the Advancement of Sci
ence, Professor J. Pease Morton, of Yale
said that there are four great wastes,
"the more lamentable because they are
unnecessary." "They are." he said,
"preventable death, preventable sleknefs,
preventable conditions of low physical
and mental efficiency and preventable
ignorance. On account of these wastes,
the professor says, "one million five hun
dred thousand persons must die in the
United States in the next six months."
If he had Included among his four
wastes the peek-a-boo waist, he would
probably have made it two million.
Answers to Correspondents.
JIMMY."- - - My Ma she's funny.
The other day we had a chicken and
some folks in for dinner and Ma she
says: 'Mr. Jones, will you have some of
the .white meat, or perhaps you would
prefer a llm.' Jones he I mean Mr. Jones
Mr. Jones, he said he wasn't particu
lar, and I thought she was goin' to give
him all there was. because it wasn't a
very big chicken, and I was afraid I would
got the neck. Pa says the neck's the
best part of the chicken. I don't believe
he knows because he never eats one him
self. But she didn't. She give Jones I
mean Mr. Jones the wishbone. She
asked everydody else if they would have
a lim, but they wouldn't have one. I
guess they didn't know what a lira was.
I didn't cither.-' Before dinner. Ma, shs
said that if there was one left and if
I was a good boy and dldnt' say nothing,
she would give me a leg. 1 like a leg
best. When she got around to me she
says: 'Jimmy (you'd like my ma if you
heard her say Jimmy like she does when
we have company) what would you like
to have? There was a leg and some
other things, but I hadn't found out
what a lim was, so I said I would take
a lim. She give me a leg. What Is a
llm. anyway?"
My Dear James: Your willingness to
sacrifoce your personal comfort and de
sire in the pursuit of knowledge does
you great credit. You have Improved
considerably In your spelling since you
wrote last; I am glad to ejea that you
love your mother. The word you refer to
is "limb." It Is also spelled "llmme."
"Iym" and "lim," although these forms
.re obsolete. Limb has been defined as
"the upper expanded portion of a gam
ophyllous perianth," also, "the lateral
area on either side of the glabellum in
trllobites." According to the same au
thority a limb is also one of the articu
lated appendages of the body of an ani
mal, used for locomotion or prehension.
as a leg, arm, wing, or paired fins. Be
sides being all these things, a limb is a
roguish young person, ana the edge of
the moon. Knowing this, your mother's
guests were doubtless afraid to take
chances. Bhe probably meant "leg."
However, I am glad for your sake that
your charming mother was not more
explicit: bad she been so, you would
probably have got the neck.
ACCURATE. "Which is proper to say:
'I am going in,' or 'I am going out?"
The statement of intended action refers
to leaving the surf when one is bathing.
Each of these expressions Is commonly
used." You will find this matter dis
cussed in a recent issue of the Ladles'
Lone Journal, in an article: "Can a
Chipmunk Climb a Tree, or Where Does
an Alarm Clock Go When It Goes Off?"
I am inclined to think that the latter
expression, "I am going out," more near
ly expresses one's intention, under the
circumstances, than the other. . When
one Is in the water, to say, "I am going
In" i3 somewhat ambiguous, to say the
least of It. If, however, the persons who
habitually use the expression objected
to. namely, "I am going in." are pluto
crats, or members of our first families,
the expression Is Justified on the ground
that they are in the swim, and their
natural abhorrence to going out, when
once they are in on a good thing. Please
cut this out, as we cannot refer to the
matter again.
GERTRUDE. "Is 'pants' singular or
plural?" rants is not singular; it is
vulgar. If you should be absolutely ob
liged to refer to that particular part of
gentlemen's apparel, you should say
trousers.
TRAVELER. "Will you kindly tell ma
which is the best way to get to North
Beach?" The ways of getting to North
Beach provided by our transportation
companies are both expeditious and com
fprtable, and you should have no diffi
culty In making a happy choice. How
ever, when you wish to leave the beach,
you will require great Judgment and
agility. To fully acquaint you with the
unusual difficulties connected with the
return voyage, it may perhaps be well
to touch lightly upon a particular ex
treme case, namely, that of a prominent
politician of a neighboring state.
This gentleman had with him a dog
and a repertoire of forcible expressions
of unusual length and brilliancy. At a
conveniently appointed hour he boarded
the train that connects with the swift
little steamer that piles between Ilwaco
and Astoria. Three hours later he was
seen at Sea View, accompanied still by
his dog, muttering . feebly to himself,
walking north. Behind him. in the direc
tion of and hanging over Ilwaeo was a
large cloud of bluish, sulphurous tinge.
Following him was a straggling crowd
of happy individuals, carrying gripsacks
and other Impedimenta, laughing with
Joy to think that their vacation was
prolonged. How it happened was this:
Besides the gentleman and his dog there
were 500 other passengers on the train,
all of whom wished to ride across the
beautiful Columbia on the dear little
boat that connects with the train. Owing
to a foolish Government regulation only
a few could get on. The sulphurous
cloud was caused by the remarks of the
gentleman with the dog. Next morning
the gentleman and his dog Inaugurated
the healthful custom of walking to the
steamer two hours ahead of the train.
M. B. WELLS.
Brats Bring: Poor.
Denver Republican.
"Does It Pay to Be Very Rich?" Is th
title of a magazine article.