Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1906)
THE SUNDAY OREGCXN'IAX, PORTLAND, JUNE 21, 1906. . Bt Bn$immx Entered t the Postofflce at Portland. Or. as Second-Class Matter. rB8t'RIPTION RATES. VT INVARIABLY IN ADVANCE. .13 (By Mall or Express.) DAILY. SUNDAY INCLUDED. Twelve months .......$8.00 fix months... 4.25 Three itionlhi 2 One month .75 Delivered by carrier, per year.... 9.00 Delivered by carrier, per month. 75 tes time. ier week Sunday, one year 2.50 Weekly, one year (issued Thursday)... 1.50 Sunday and Weekly, one year .. 3.50 HOW TO REMIT Send postofftce money order, express order or personal check on our local bank, stamps, coin or currency are at the sender s risk. EASTERN BUSINESS OFFICE. . The 8. C. Berk with Special Agency ,Ne l ork. rooms 4;i-3U. Tribune building. Chi tt, rooms 510-512 Tribune building. KEIT ON BALE. f'hlcago Auditorium Annex, Postofflce smi Co.. liH Dearborn street. St. raul, Minn. jj. St. Marie. Commercial . Biauon. Denver Hamilton Kendrick, 006-912 seventeenth street; Pratt Book Store,. Yl rineemn street; i. welnstein. (oldfleld. Nev. Frank Sandstrom. Kansas City. Mo. Rlcksecker Cigar Co. Ninth and Walnut. Minneapolis M. J. Kavanaugh. CO South i nna. Cleveland, O. James Pushaw, 307 Superior street. New York tilj L. Jones & Co., Astor tiouse. Oakland. Cal. W. H. Johnston, Four tenth and Franklin streets; N. Wheatley. , Ogden D. L. Boyle. ' Omaha Bsrkalow Bros . 1(112 Firnatn: Mageath Stationery Co.. 108 Farnam: 240 coum rourieentn. Sacramento, .'. Sacramento News Co., .' K street. Salt Lake Salt Lake News Co.. 77 West tond street bouth; Miss L.. Levin, 2 I hurch street. I -o Angeles B. E. Amos, manager seven pireei wagons; tlerl Kewe Co.. 2tis South Snn Oiego B. E. Amos. I'asudena, Cal Berl News Co. San IraDclsco Foster & prear, : Ferry News Stand. ' f V asliington. I. C. Ebbltt House. Penn sylvania avenue. I'OKTLAND. SINDAY. JLJiE 24, 1906. t ATASTKOI'HES AND MORAL ORDER. Had San Francisco been consumed by fire, as Chicago was. from human carelessness or ordinary causes, the catastrophe would not much have im pressed the human mind; but the cause of the fire was the earthquake, and the total catastrophe therefore prostrates The mind and spirit of man, fills hi with a sense of his helplessness, and starts anew the old question of his re lations to the moral order and the di vine power. Perhaps this Is the best of all possible worlds, or good as any; but many or most thinkers now show an inclination to agree w ith John Stuart Mill, that the uivine j'ower has made ours the best possible world, consistent with the use of refractory materials and the best general plan; but that the results of human thought are ripe enough for us to say that every attempt, however earnest, reverent and laborious, to view Nature as the direct product of divine efficiency, and still to regard the divine intelligence and power as the sum of all perfections, the realization of all moral excellence, has been a failure nay, every such attempt must forever re main a failure. For the evil, if at trbuted to a consistent and prescient omnipotence, is, at its worst, too great to he consistent with love or mercy, or even with justice. But such catas trophes as those of Lisbon, Martinique and San Francisco may yet teach a great moral and spiritual lesson. How? Not through a fatuous optimism which reduces evil to "good in disguise" and so begs the whole question by de nying that there Is or can be any evil. The intelligence of man will "not bear pueh reasoning, or such conclusion. Hut there is a thought, that tends to solution of the mystery or human dis tress by the discovery that while pain cannot be removed from human life, it can be, and actually Is. transformed by a change in the mind of him who suf fers it. To make the most excruciating tortures tolerable it is only necessary that the sufferer should be convinced that he suffers for a worthy or neces sary end. It would be chidlish now to deny that these catastrophes belong to the. necessary physical order. Hence the moral order, found and proven only in man. must be adjusted to the other. Our planet was prepared for the habi tation of man. only through the catas trophic events of Innumerable ages; of which those repeated in our own time are but feeble continuations. It Is idle, therefore, to complain that we have to live in the world as we find it. The forces or operations of Nature take no notice of us, for they are not of the moral order. But man is of the moral order; and. as Professor Howlson, of the University of California, in discuss ing this subject, has said, "we stand in need of a new idealism, which would place God in purely Ideal or Anal-casual relation to Nature and all its woes, ;md thus to the system, of Nature de pendent upon them. In no other way," says Professor Howison, "am I able to conceive how, at once, God can be good, and there can be 1n the imperfect and catastrophic world an order really moral; an order, that is, in which the actions or intelligent beings are verily their own, and in which such beings do right out of their own free reverence for the righteousness in it righteous ness, part of whose aim must be the cure of misery In life." FEW. HOWEVER. WILL TAKE NOTE. Demand for labor in the Northwest never was so great as now. And now is the time for workingmen to make a beginning for future independence and prosperity. Some few will, no doubt, but the mass will not. They -will not look ahead, and postpone the en joyment as they think It of today for the independence of tomorrow, or next year, or ten years hence. Some few, however. In these good times, will be Industrious, prudent and careful of their earnings; will accumu late small sums arvl invest them; will lay "'a. foundation for future prosperity and will pass into the class that achieves a reasonable competence and comparative independence. They will spend nothing foolishly, will avoid liquors and tobacco and lewd company; will go decently d reused, and yet will not run into showy and useless expense; will be diligent in all they undertake and not be afraid of working "over hours"; and after a while they will have a property and a character, their names w ijl be good at bank, and they will be the envy of those who have been un willing to pay the price for the distinc tion and position. Commonplace indeed, extremely com monplace, all this is.- And yet the truth in it is absolute. Truth, however, is . usually uninteresting and common place. It Is the allurement of falsity that Is attractive; and so few there are who can see that it always promises more than it can perform. , Nevertheless, now is the opportunity for labor. The opportunity will not al ways be as good as tt'is today. ; They who work and save their earnings now will get ahead; and more, they will be at the head of affairs in the years that are to come. There are no for tunes for workingmen in the habits of the North End of Portland. EVERY MAN'S PECK OF DIRT. Every one, according to an old say ing, is destined to eat his "peck of dirt" during ' the .course of his natural life. Most people accept this dictum philo sophically and indeed stoically, regard ing the "dirt" which they are doomed to eat, as merely a contribution from mother earth in the form of dust blown in from the roadside, sifting in at the windows, adhering to vegetables or fruit when eaten, etc. When, however, "dirt" is expanded into the filth of the packing-house, the abominations that find their way into food as adultera tions, and the. various concoctions known to the trade! from oleomargarine made of dirty grease to "apple Jelly" made from the cores and skins of wormy fruit colored with aniline dyes and flavored with cheap extracts, even the copper-lined stomach of the full-fed American turns in revolt from the mess offered and cries out against taking, his portion as In excess" of the decree of the "peck of dirt" to which he was fore doomed. - Generalities in the line of "what we eat" are bad enough in all conscience. But now appears before Congress, and of course before the wide public therein represented, a specialist on foods him self a representative from Illinois and with relentless devotion to detail tells us of things that we eat and drink dally that make the "peck of dirt" seem small and the traditional dirt itself clean and appetizing by comparison. In addition to this, we are shown pep per berries made from tapioca colored with lampblack, coffee with which Is mixed sawdust and bread crumbs, cherries colored with aniline dye, honey that : never ' saw a beehive but came from a glucose factory, meat preserved by a combination of, sulphite of soda and coaltar dye, "pure olive oil" dis tilled from cotton seed, and other adul terations, not specially vile in them selves, but all more or less detrimental lo health and sneakingly dishonest in regard to weight and measure as sold In packages. Yet with all the dosing they receive through prepared foods, the princfple of life is strong in the constitutions of Americans, as shown by the National bill of health sent out by the Census Bureau. With the exception only of Sweden and Norway, the death rate of the United States is lower than that of any country In Europe. Even among the sturdy Scots on their native heath, the phlegmatic Germans from whom American meats are withheld for the health's sake, the beefeaters of old England, and the potato-consuming Irish, the per cent of mortality is greater than among Americans, who shut their eyes and swallow per capita their "peck of dirt" uncomplainingly, add to it a peck of more or less abom inable adulterations without question. and complete the Job by taking a peck of filth without wincing. This leads us to exclaim, "What longlived men Amer icans would be, did they eat sparingly of clean, wholesome food." Methuselah would be ashamed to tell his age to his tory in the presence of American long evity and the rest of the patriarchs would be written down as men who died before their time, owing to the fact that America had not yet been discov ered.- - . .. ELIMINATING ALL COMPETITION. The utter Indifference shown by the Palouse farmers to the recent meeting of the Washington Railroad Commis sion at Colfax indicates a radical change of sentiment regarding the Commission and the joint rates which it is proposed to institute in O. R. & N. territory". This Indifference is a credit to the intelligence of the farmers. The spectacle of a score of Puget Sound' millers and interior grainbuyers assem bling at Colfax for the purpose of se curing a joint rate in order that the farmer" could increase his profits Is certainly calculated to inspire mirth, if it fails in winning the confidence of the honest farmer. Even with garbled figures and quotations "made to order" for the hearing, the Commission failed to establish the claim of the Puget Sound millers and "middlemen" that wheat was uniformly higher on Puget bound than at Portland. Had these fig ures been accepted as reliable and as indicating a percentage in favor of Pu get Sound, an indispuatble denial would have been, painfully apparent in the of ficial figures on actual shipments from competitive points served by both the Portland and the Puget Sound roads. From Farmlngton, the home of the Commission's star witness, who was also the owner of warehouses on bofh tracks, it was shown that 90 per cent of the wheat was shipped to Portland. To assume that such a large proportion of the wheat was shipped to Portland when prices were higher on Puget Sound is to assume that the farmers in the vicinity of Farmington are all idiots. It would, of course, be very nice for the Seattle and Tacoma millers, and also for the curbstone buyers on Puget Sound, to have the Railroad Commis sion order in a Joint rate and make the Portland road a feeder of the lines lead ing to Puget Sound. But this wss not the purpose for which Portland capital ists built the road. Had they expected the Washington Railroad Commission to confiscate their property and use it for the upbuilding of a rival port, it is hardly probable that they would have built it. Had the Palouse farmers waited until Seattle and Tacoma capital built a road into the country, the devel opment would not have reached its present Interesting proportions. But the Palouse farmer has had his suspi cions aroused. The Puget Sound seek ers of cheap wheat, like the lady, "pro test too much" over refusal of the O. R. & N. Co. to make their road a feeder of the Hill lines leading to Puget Sound. They realize that there is an African In the fence, and they prefer to intrust their interests to other hands than to those which are seeking to enforce a joint rate in order that the Puget feound miller can buy wheat at lower prices than he is now paying. The compulsory institution of a joint rate which would force the O.'R. & N. Co. to turn its business over to the roads leading to Puget Sound would have the effect of eliminating all competition. There are but two factors governing the making of wheat prices at terminal points. One is the European wheat market, the other the Oriental flour market. The testimony at the Colfax hearing showed that there were times during the season when heavy orders to be hastily filled caused slightly higher prices in one market than in another. It was shown that for a time last season this emergency business caused a buyer to pay as high as 3 cents more for wheat at non-competitive points on Puget Soand territory than he paid the same day for shipment, to Portland. xno sucn amerence wouia exist were a joint rate in effect, but ths price would be the same throughout the entire Northwest, and it would, of courseV.be the minimum instead of the maxi.mum. With, all competition: eliminated-by a joint rate, it becomes a very simple matter for the big buyers who make the market at Portland and Puget Sound to get together, and establish any price they see fit;' That price might not be to the advantage of the farmer. The appropriation made by the Legislature for the Washington Railroad Commis sion was only $75,000. That sum will be insignificant in comparison with the loss which will be sustained by the farmers If the joint rate so earnestly demanded by the Puget Sound millers Is granted. - REFORM IN EDUCATION. The complacent monotony of the al lege commencement season has been agreeably stirred in the East by some heretical remarks of Mr. Charles Fran cis Adams. This distinguished gentle man, who has been a Harvard overseer for some twenty-five years, seized the opportunity of his Phi B,eta Kappa ad dress at Columbia, to assert in elaborate detail that the modern college is too big for the best interest of the students and to assail with fact and argument that crowning educational fad, as he calls it, the - elective system. Mr. Adams stands high as a thinker and a man of practical achievement. His words carry weight and his iconoclastic speech has been widely discussed in the Eastern press. Some publications agree with him, some differ, but all treat his opin ions with respect. What the fraternity of college presidents may think of them" is not yet apparent, but one can easily guess. - - ' "With few exceptions every college president in the country for the last twenty-five years has spent most of his time and the best of his energy in a mad competition for students and en dowments. To put money in the college treasury has been the first object of their lives; to increase its enrollment the secoifd. For these two ends every thing else has been sacrificed. , To be rich and to. be big are the two ideals which have prevailed in the world of the higher education. The dignity, the simplicity and the sanity of college life have withered before them. Faculties have become sycophantic beggars at the doorsllls of the predatory rich. A professor in Johns Hopkins University was once heard to lament how much more skillful the faculty of Pennsyl vania University was than that of his own in soliciting and obtaining these dubious' benefactions. Skill in complai sant beggary is a matter of natural gift and assiduous cultivation; at some colleges one would expect it to be more developed than at others, and it is not surprising that the University of Penn sylvania, situated in Philadelphia, should have attained a certain pre-eminence in the art; but the greed for tainted money seems to be about as ar dent In one institution as In another. Tale and Chicago have their Rockefel ler; Syracuse has its Archbold. The competition for students is the simple and adequate explanation of the degeneracy of college athletics. To at tract students, no matter what their in tellectual or moral quality, faculties have looked on complacently while one tricky practice after another crept Intd football. Anything to win, since win ning great advertisement and the.college which led in athletics would also lead in its enrollment. Intercol legiate games are no longer play, but hard, dishonorable, tricky business car-. rlei jm not for fun,, but. for the ma terial advancement of the corporation. In these respects colleges have caught the precise spirit of our other corpora tions and have sacrificed both morality and the higtier welfare of their students to. the greed for money and power. Leading educationists, like Thwing, of the Western Reserve University, use the most grossly materialistic argu ments to entice students to their insti tutions. TJhe Joys of scholarship, the beauty and glory of intellectual attain? ments. the transcendent excellence of culture, are s?ldom mentioned in these solicitations, but one hears a great deal about the help a college education will give a man in his business. A college education helps in the tricky' business of high finance. The casuistry, the playing with words and moral distinc tions, the insincere reasoning of college logic and rhetoric, are all carried into business and have played their part in causing the degeneracy of modern com merce. The feeling fostered In colleges that there is no hard and fast distinc tion between right and wrong, that the end Justifies the means, that all things are relative and that success cures all moral defects 1n the conduct by which it is won these teachings do undenia bly help a man in business, though they do not help him in honest busi ness; and there is much reason to doubt whether a college education outside of the technical courses is of any benefit whatever in practical life, except as it may aid a man to live by his wits. Col lege courses, methods and traditions were devised to ornament the leisure of an idle aristocracy; they have for the most part no relation to practical life, and the plea that young men will find them useful in honest industry is mis leading. The technical courses which aim directly at achievement are a dif ferent matter. Mr. Adams has nothing to say about the cessation . of the practices which nave led to the abnormal overgrowth of colleges. So far as one can discern from his remarks, he has no wish to cure the disease, but would palliate its symptoms by dividing the big universi ties like Harvard up Into small colleges on the Oxford plan. Of this scheme, it is only necessary to say that Oxford has always been more or less of a stumbling-block in the way of civiliza tion and progress in England. Its spirit has invariably been reactionary and its practice in educational matters stupid. It has not and never had any standing in the world of science, and to Its liter ary geniuses Oxford has been a cruel stepmother. The proposal to reorganize American colleges on the Oxford , plan is interesting as a symptom of the gen eral plutocratic reaction agains't demo cratic ideals, in this country, but it has little practical importance. The Ger man influence in our educational insti tutions is dominant, and will remain dominant because it is honest, whole some and democratic. German univer sities stand for all that Oxford opposes, bothvin ideals and methods. German thought leads the world and -German science directs mstiern thought. WTiat our colleges need Is more of the Ger man spirit, not less of It. As for the elective system, the argu ments against it are those which are advanced against all democratic insti tutions and in favor of aristocratic pa ternalism. Mr. Adams is afraid to trust young men with the selection of their own studies, just as others have been afraid to trust the people to manage their own political affairs. If a young man of eighteen has not sense enough to know what he wishes to study, he is unfit material for the college, if he is idle under the elective system, "he be idler still under a prescribed course, besides losing what little power of self direction he gains from choosing for himself. Both of Mr. Adams' points are opposed to educational progress and in favor of reaction. They are interesting but futile. The tendency of education is to become, not less democratic, but more so. THE PAY OF SOLDIERS. Do Army officers get pay enough? General Corbin thinks not, and so he told the young men at West Point with bitter emphasis the other day. It was on the occasion of their graduation ex ercises, and Secretary Taft .had - also something to say to the class. Mr. Taft told them that, though their pay would be small for five years or so, still it was more than the average pro fessional man makes at the outset of his career. Moreover, it is certain, while the young lawyer's or doctor's is often a very problematic matter. The soldier need not worry about the wolf at the door, while all other men who are not born with a competence must do so for a time at least; and most men have to worry always. The Secretary thought that this freedom from worry over the means of livelihood was a blessing to the soldier which made up to him for the comparative meagerness of his Income. If it is a blessing for the soldier to be free from those financial worries which are inseparable from competitive industry, why would it not be a blessing to other , men also? Is there some peculiar quality about sol diers which makes that excellent for them which Is pernicious for other men? To agree with the sapient Mr. Elklns, a recent and zealous convert to the cause of the downtrodden poor, do .we not in general attach too much merit to competition and incline to make a fetich out of that which is at best but a neces sary evil? Upon a candid considera tion of the facts, which has done the most for the human race, competition or co-operation? Are the great, salu tary institutions which the human race ha invented designed to work through competition or co-operation? Take the church, for example. What is it but a great instrument for applying the best spiritual energy of the few to the good of the many? An institution, in fact, through which humanity co-operates for its spiritual salvation. What" spiritual benefits could men achieve through competition which compare with the vast ameliorations effected by the church? The school is another tremendous tri umph of co-operation. The whole Na tion unites in the effort to educate it self, and who shall say that it does not thereby achieve vast economies both in expenditure and in actual work done? Suppose every man were left to educate his own children by the purely competi tive method, what proportion of us would be literate? But the Army itself is perhaps the finest example in the world of co-operation carried out to the limit. The Army is the instrument by .which the, body politic, acting as a whole, defends itself. Armies, to be sure, like fire, sometimes become mas ters instead of servants, but that by no means alters their true purpose. The Afiny shows what co-operation at Its best, when persisted in for a long time, can do, both for those who serve and those who are served. It is agreed on all hands that, everything considered, the good soldier is our noblest type of man. Freed from competition, he has had time and opportunity to develop those qualities of gentleness, bravery and considerateness which, with all our pretended admiration for wolfish greed, we value most; and living as he does for service rather than acquisition, he comes beyond all doubt nearer to the ideal of the Galilean than any of the rest of us do. Suppose the rule of co-operation un der which armies, with all their fine qualities of gentleness, obedience and dauntless courage, have been evolved, were to be applied to all the rest of us. Could we all grow gentle, brave and obedient? Could the ideal of service instead of greed ever become the domi nant ideal of the race if we were all subjected to some training through many years of our lives, like that of the soldier, and would we be better for it? Speaking of General Lee, writers who are best informed always say em phatically ,that he was Christlike; meaning that in his inner demeanor there was a grave gentleness which is sometimes connoted by the rare word "tender." Grant was of all things se rene and pitiful; and the highest qual ity which we discover in the noblest of our Presidents was his measureless compassion. Great compassion implies great intellect: for it is only he that understands all who can forgive all. Therefore we say also that Lincoln was not only the most tender-hearted of men, but that he compares well with the greatest in his powers of mind. Earthly power doth then show likest God's when mercy seasons justice; and, as one greater than Shakespeare said, the greatest of all is the servant of all. We must therefore cease, as Mr. Taft told the young soldiers, to measure men by the money they inherit or acquire. There are other things which make bet ter standards. And the rest of us must learn that there are better things than money to live for. A rich American boasted not long ago that we in this country make better use of our lives than the Europeans because we go on earning money up to the moment of our deaths. What he thought was our glory is really our disgrace. If we give our whole lives to money-making, what time have we for the high and beauti ful aims which God has strewed along the pathway of life? WHERE BOTH SEXES MAY LEARN. The record in attendance and schol arship made by the State Agricultural College during the year, now about to close is most gratifying to the large constituency of the college the people of the state who support It. The high est enrollment In the history of the col lege was reached during this year a total of 735 students having registered. "While it is a matter of regret that so few of the entire number were enrolled in the department of agriculture, it is worth while to know that there were sixty-six young men in this department and that sixty-five- young women thought it worth while to study house hold science? a very necessary adjunct to the comfort of rural life. Opportunities for improvement in the details that go to make up modern housekeeping are limited In many rural sections. The country lass should be a good housekeeper. Since housekeeping is not an Inheritance, but an acquisi tion, she should be taught to keep house according to labor-saving and economic methods. Her mother has, perhaps, never learned the science of doing things in the easiest, best and most sat isfactory way never having been taught. She has simply "got along," and, "early old," has in too many cases dropped into the role of a hopeless, un paid worker, whose tasks were never dope. " The daughtert lacking opportu nity to improve upon the industrial methods and status of her mother, and mother's mother, seeks it perhaps in going out to do housework in the city. She falls, "not knowing how." The remedy for this is in intelligent teaching." The first step in this direc tion Is to dismiss the Idea that, because she was born a woman-child, the girl takes naturally and understanding to housework; that she knows, in fact, in tuitively, how to cook and wash dishes, dust, make beds, set the .table, etc.; that she does not need to be . taught how to do these things, because, being a woman-child, she knows how without being taught. This fallacy disposed of, give her a chance to learn. If the farmer can send his son to the State Agricultural College to study the science of agriculture, he can send his daughter there to study household sci ence. Let us hope that there will' be an increased enrollment of students in each of these departments as the years go on, to the- end that the State Agricul tural College may bo what its name im pliesfirst of all a college for the -Instruction of young men and women in the twin sciences agriculture and do mestic or household science. A. Mr. Hayfleld, testifying before the Washington Railroad Commission, stat ed that he placed no reliance in the market quotations sent out from Port land, Seattle and Tacoma by the Asso ciated Press. As he also testified that he received the quotations, on which he bought and sold wheat, by mail, instead of by telegraph, and that 2 to 5 cents per bushel was in his mind a fair mid dleman's profit on wheat, his evidence on any business matter would, of course, be worthless. At the same time it might be mentioned that market quo tations In a daily paper of, any standing must be accurate to avoia an avalanche of complaints which follow the publica tion of incorrect quotations. If wheat or any other commodity is quoted too high, the correction is quickly forth coming from the man who is interested Vn cheap wheat. If it is quoted too low, an even louder growl is heard from the man who is in quest of high prices. The only satisfactory quotation is the correct one, and that is the quotation which is printed in .newspapers which print the news. The Senate has just passed a bill to make a present to some North Dakota landowners. The amount of the pres ent Is a round million, and it comes, of course, like all such benefactions, out of the pockets of the people. The purpose of the bill is to abstract a million dol lars from the reclamation fund and give it to these landowners. Not one vote was cast against the graft in the Senate. Where were the Western Sen ators when this iniquity was enacted? Did they care too little about the re clamation fund to know what was go ing on? If they knew, did they ap prove? If they did not approve, why did they not speak against the steal, even if they dared not vote against it? The answer is easy. They were silent through courtesy. Senatorial courtesy gave this million dollars of the peo ple's money to the grafters. Will the time ever come when Senators will find it worth while to show the same "cour tesy" to their constituents that they now accord so readily to thieves? The anti-pass law adopted by the referendum vote is said to be inoper ative Decause It contains no enacting clause; and the constitution says all laws must have an enacting clause. This is flimsy. ' There is no constitu tion, except the sentiments lodged in the breast of Mr. U'Ren. All else has been superseded. Ask him whether the anti-pass act is to be the law, or not. The local prohibitionists are to give Leader Castle a great banquet on July 2. Just think of that Jovial spirit Bre'r Amos as toastmaster. But whatever may be said of such exhilarating af fairs, it is certain that the cold gray dawn of the morning after will find the revelers without the slightest trepida tion about any visits from Colonel R. E Morse. The Prohls cut Bre'r Amos awfully giving half their total vote to Cham berlain, which was about his plurality in the state. Doubtless, as an esteemed contemporary says, they voted as they prayed, but they voted first, and then prayed. It is funny enough the rela tions of the favorite of the liquor trade and of the Prohis, to both sides. Mayor McClellan will return from Europe in ten weeks, expecting to find that the New York Democracy will have nominated "an honest man for Governor with honest issues to fight for." Ten weeks Is a little soon, but much might be done for McClellan by the Bryan method of foreign travel and long-range political booms. Governor Chamberlain held up the appropriation for thejetate Institutions. Then by petition the people held them up again; and then In the election they voted both for Governor Chamberlain and for the appropriations he had held up. 'Tis a wise man who can know the public mind, which doesn't know itself. We see nothing more in the organ of the plutocrats, urging adherence to "Statement No. 1." The organ will do its best, or worst, to beat that state ment next Winter in the Legislature; especially if it shall see or shall think it sees a chance for one of its pluto cratic backers to buy the Senatorshlp. Portland pays .for pavements what the paving companies ask, not what the Work is worth. This it is that makes and supports the demand 'for control of public works and public util ities by the public. Two railroad rebaters In the peni tentiary may not be many, but it is two more than were ever there before. And accommodations can and should be found for others. Two railroad rebaters have been sen tenced to prison at Kansas City. The "immunity bath" doesn't work along the classic banks of the Missouri. Summer is here, and every one is glad he is alive except, of course, Mr. Word and Mr. Stevens, who don't know whether it's worth while. Mr. Wellman doesn't anticipate any great trouble in reaching the pole in his airship. Getting back is what is likely to bother him. The Ladd view of it seems to be that the Johnson estate wasn't really worth saving. It hasn't been, for any oth ers but the Laddst THE LATEST, ESSAY OX MAN. (Mtas Carrie "Wilson, daughter of a millowner of - Aberdeen, and socially, promlnenc, was elected president of the recently organized High School Alumni Association. She is also prominent in club work. She was given-the toast "Men" to respond to at the flrat annual .banquet and made the bit of the evening with the High School faculty, members of the Board of Education and college graduates who were present. Her response was aa follows;) Nothing can cover hls-hlgh fame but heaven; No pyramids set off his memories. But the eternal subject of his greatness To which 1 leave him. In a careful research through pages and pages of ancient history, I found, not to my surprise, however, that the original man was in many respects like a mule, that he has been a kicker from the start. The theory of evolu tion, which has been applied to almost everythlnsc else under the sun. has not changed man he Is still mulish and still a kicker. Developed from pro toplasm, the greatest characteristic being the long ears, he is the. first highly organized animal to retain this characteristic. Long cars denote ob stinacy, which trait still predominates. When a woman gets harnessed with this man-mule she soon finds it is not the only mulish trait he retains. Hell go just so far and then balk, and not any amount of coaxing or persuasion on her part can induce him to move along. Now, while. we have respect for the everyday, common mule, be cause he kicks, many times, wich a reason, the man-mule kicks simply for the . love of the thing. I gather this last information from my girl friends who have married. t Men, as we see, were originally mules, 'and there are such things as blind mules. They do not see or know a good thing, and many of them are deficient in good taste that is why I am single today. Naturally, if I were of the mule persuasion-1 would have a kick coming, but women never kick. When this toast of "Men" first burst upon me I was astounded at the'appar ent vastness of the subject. In the words of Kipling, "A great and terrify ing honor had come upon me." They said the toasts were to be two minutes Jn length, and I was swamped with the idea of saying all I wanted to about "Men" in two minutes. But as I began my research and tried to find something good to say about them, I learned that two minutes was entirely too long for a discussion of the subject. Man, I say what do we women want of men we who have none? Didn't the last session of the National Business Woman's League declare he was merely an ap pendage, an adjunct, a corollary, of woman merely-an incident in a wom an's life? In short, not nearly as im portant as he Imagines himself to be? The married women warn us not to have , anything to do with them, but whether they are really disinterested, or whether they are a trifle Jealous, for fear we -will flirt with their hus bands, I am unable to say. Now, to be serious, ladies and gen tlemen, we women really like the men. Just think of what they have done for us! They have given us the inestima ble privilege of voting at school elec tions. They actually allow us to pay the taxes on our property, and Invite us to the social sessions of their clubs expurgated editions. All they re quire of us is to always Jook beautiful, be amiable, intelligent, refined, artistic, entertaining, able to cook and ' sew, make the fires in the morning while hubby takes his beauty sleep, split our own wood, be well-dressed and keep house on $13 -a month. Just, watch the expression on a man's face when "his wife asks for money. Oh, no! her. pock etbook never needs replenishing. His motto seems to be: "Never mind what I spend, but see you don't spend any." It reminds me of a story I heard the other day the same old story. A man was kicking about his wife's cooking, and said: "Oh, if you could only make bread like my mother used to make!" She replied: "You bring me the dough your father brought your mother and I'll make as good bread as she ever made." But never mind, girls; though, they have tried to keep us in the kitchen, where they say we rightly belong, many of us have burst forth from the kitchen to meet our beau if) the front hall, when we were trying to get up stairs to change our collar or adjust our back hair. If I were to write an apostrophe to man I would say he is not always the mule I have pointed out. There are handsome, stalwart, courageous, gal lant, magnificent men. I know, because I have read about them in books. I'll admit there are a few angels among them, and all those who are here to night I know are angels. Their wives and sweethearts tell me so. It is the fellows .who are absent I have been speaking about. No Enlightenment Here. Washington Post. "Rarer than the rjhoenix ."- sava De Quincey, "is the virtuous man who would consent to lose a prosperous anecdote be cause it was a lie"; but his name is legion compared with him who thinks it sin to work evil that good may result. None but the good can handle pitch with out defilement, and that raises the para mount issue that has been pestering man kind since God set the mark on Cain. Who is good? Dr. Frahklin gave a toler able answer to it when he said that when we get to heaven we will have to put up with the company of some of our neighbors whom we never dreamed of meeting there. When the Teat Will Come. Chicago Tribune. The Oregon method of handing over to the people the election of United States Senators may work smoothly until put to a real test. That test will come when the Senatorial candidate of one party wins at the primaries and the opposing party con trols the Legislature. Presumably the party in power will elect a Senator of its own political faith, and assuredly he will be seated. Some Qunllncatlona. Baltimore News. If Is reported in New York that Charles M. Schwab has been picked to succeed Newlands as Senator from Nevada. Mr. Schwab appears to have two of the regu lar qualifications for a Nevada Senator ship. He lives in New York and he plays a stiff game. Come RIKbt In. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Good morning, Oklahoma. ' Please leave your spurs on the doormat, hang your cartridge belt on the hatrack and take a seat in the front parlor. Uncle Sam will be down In a few minutes. Hall Catne Skoeked. From the London Telegraph. Hall Caine has received a terrible shock. A letter sent to him with the inscription on the envelope "Hall Calne. Esq.. Isle of Man," has been returned as "Insuffi ciently addressed." Aa the Portland Gas Trout Did. Pittsburg Dispatch. It is noticeable that when the Toledo grand Jury got after the ice trust of that locality the latter speedily discovered that last Winter's ice crop was not a failure and reduced the price, THE FESSI.MIST. , Never put off until tomorrow what can be done next week as well. "I am not singularly obtuse," observed the -man who was about to be hanged, "but I never take a drop until the last minute." It is said that large bodies move slowly. This old saying was subjected to a strik ing refutation the other night on Wash ington street. A large man, in descending from the main deck of an automobile, missed the step; and those who witnessed the event noticed that he arrived at the earth at a tremendous rate of speed. And the Jar thereof was exceeding great. The latest theory regarding the cause of cancer comes from .FTa Elbertus, of the Philistine. According to him canter Is often the direct result of persistent wrong, thinking. Tomatoes, salt, cigars and tobasco sauce may now be indulged in with impunity, and some of our emi nent theologians will have to take care of themselves. ' It seems that a surgeon in Southern California took out a patient's heart, washed the dirt out of it, put it back again; and the man is alive and happy. That is truly a remarkable feat; and a man who can do such a thing Is a credit to his profession. But, if he would be a real benefactor of mankind, he should catch John D. Rockefeller, take out his heart, remove the grease spots with some of John's own gasoline, thoroughly de odorize it. and put it back Into a place where it would have a chance to grow larger. ' Through the beneficent publicity made possible by W. R. Hearst," the great modern reformer, Ella Wheeler Wilcox has been telling the world what , she would do If she herself had John t. Rockefeller's money instead of John. Many and most excellent are the things that would be accomplished; and I hope that she will have the chance. However, if I had all that money I know what I would do. Firgt of all, I would give Ella half of it, because she thought of this thing first; then I would invest a portion of the remainder in some col lar buttons front collar buttons. I never had but one at a time in my life. Many a festive occasion I have missed; many a chance to disport myself in glad rags before God's elect, our first'familles, the holy ones. All these opportunities were lost to me because I lacked the energy to transfer my one front collar button from the garment I had on to a shirt fresh, from the laundry, stiff, glossy and immaculately white. I would buy a lot of them thousands of them, so no matter In which direction my hand extended, a collar button- would be within my grasp. With all that money at my command, I would coninve to liftmen wie ourumi di wealth carried by 'Henry H. Rogers. I would reduce him to absolute penuryi and then employ him to pick up the col lar buttons which I would drop. "Get down on your fours, you dog." I would tumindiiu, aim sol Liitti. uuiiuu num un der the dresser and the one that Is under the bed. Take that button out of your pocket, you scoundrel! You can't steal anything from me." All the years of misery endured on account of my poverty In the matter of collar buttons would be requited by seeing Rogers placed on the level and be obliged to act on the square. One of the curious manifestations of human nature -is the desire ou the part of the man, who Is good to a certain de gree, that others be as good as himself. Those, who are not good, resist the ful fillment of this desire with a strenuous ness that surprises every reformer. There is the man who goes to church and prays. robs his neighbors and Is guilty of the blackest treachery to his friend; this pious and well-dressed individual becomes faint and sick at heart when he con templates the enormous Iniquity of those who drink and gamble, and do othee things that he Is too pure -to do. He cannot understand why people will do such things. The lesion in his think' ap paratus is like unto that of the man who does all of those things and kicks his wife, violates the speed ordinance, and is the epitome of all that is vile and reprehensible; there are none so poor as to do him reverence. And yet, the scorn with which he contemns the being who smokes cigarettes Is noble in its In tensity. Yea, verily I say unto you the cigarette smoker is the limit. There is none whom he can revile, so he smoketh on and on and sayeth not; neither doth he get mad and curse. The world Is better than him self, so he is calm and content. The smiling fields, the bounteous forests, the snow-clad mountains are to him the manifestations of an all-wise providence which doeth all things for all mankind, even unto the least of its creatures: and so the man with the cigarette smoketh on and on. At night as he gazes above and around at the starry vault, he recog nizes his own infinitesimal littleness, and is merely glad that he is, that he is allowed to be. He views with mild regret the obscuration of Venus' transcendent beauty by the murky thickness of our planet's atmosphere. The Queen of Night has sunk to rest; on the morrow it will rise again; and so he smoketh on and on. He turns to the left; there in th south Js Scorpio. Its glory punctuated by An tares' angry glare. In the east, slo-wly rising above the haze, appears the King -of the Heavens, the lordly Arcturus, shin ing majestically a quadrillion miles away. "On that vast surface," mused that. low est of all humans, -the man with the cigarette, "this earth with all Its won ders would be but an Invisible speck. O, Arcturus! ' Thou great one, what am 17 I am nothing, and yet I exist.". And he calmly lighted another cigarette. "Blessed are. the. poor in spirit; for their' s is the kingdom of heaven," said the Master. "So mote it be," said the man with the cigarette. M. B. WELLS. Thl Foreign Trip Paid "Well. Boston Herald. The marriage in Holyoke, Mass., Mon day of Muss Edith Ramage, daughter of the late James Ramage, ' to Lawson Ramage, of Monroe Bridge, was the fourth of a series of romances which have been strangely linked together. Three years ago four Holyoke society girls, all Smith College graduates, spent a Winter abroad, and there each of the four met her future husband. Miss Marjorie Hemingway became the . bride of Frederick von Pflster, a rich Munich grain importer; Miss Clara Heywood married Charles E. Scott, . of Albion, Mich., and Miss Alice Whiting became Mrs. Fred F. Bennett, of Holyoke. Lawson Ramage is a member of the Ramage family of Scotland, and thoueh his older brother married the older sis ter of the bride, the principals in Mon day's ceremony were unacquainted when Miss Ramage went abroad.' James Ram age, father, of Miss Ramage.-was one of the largest paper manufacturers in the country.