The Sunday Oregonian., June 24, 1906, Page 6, Image 6

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I'OKTLAND. SINDAY. JLJiE 24, 1906.
t ATASTKOI'HES AND MORAL ORDER.
Had San Francisco been consumed
by fire, as Chicago was. from human
carelessness or ordinary causes, the
catastrophe would not much have im
pressed the human mind; but the cause
of the fire was the earthquake, and the
total catastrophe therefore prostrates
The mind and spirit of man, fills hi
with a sense of his helplessness, and
starts anew the old question of his re
lations to the moral order and the di
vine power.
Perhaps this Is the best of all possible
worlds, or good as any; but many or
most thinkers now show an inclination
to agree w ith John Stuart Mill, that the
uivine j'ower has made ours the best
possible world, consistent with the use
of refractory materials and the best
general plan; but that the results of
human thought are ripe enough for us
to say that every attempt, however
earnest, reverent and laborious, to view
Nature as the direct product of divine
efficiency, and still to regard the divine
intelligence and power as the sum of all
perfections, the realization of all moral
excellence, has been a failure nay,
every such attempt must forever re
main a failure. For the evil, if at
trbuted to a consistent and prescient
omnipotence, is, at its worst, too great
to he consistent with love or mercy,
or even with justice. But such catas
trophes as those of Lisbon, Martinique
and San Francisco may yet teach a
great moral and spiritual lesson. How?
Not through a fatuous optimism
which reduces evil to "good in disguise"
and so begs the whole question by de
nying that there Is or can be any evil.
The intelligence of man will "not bear
pueh reasoning, or such conclusion.
Hut there is a thought, that tends to
solution of the mystery or human dis
tress by the discovery that while pain
cannot be removed from human life, it
can be, and actually Is. transformed by
a change in the mind of him who suf
fers it. To make the most excruciating
tortures tolerable it is only necessary
that the sufferer should be convinced
that he suffers for a worthy or neces
sary end. It would be chidlish now to
deny that these catastrophes belong to
the. necessary physical order. Hence
the moral order, found and proven only
in man. must be adjusted to the other.
Our planet was prepared for the habi
tation of man. only through the catas
trophic events of Innumerable ages; of
which those repeated in our own time
are but feeble continuations. It Is idle,
therefore, to complain that we have to
live in the world as we find it. The
forces or operations of Nature take no
notice of us, for they are not of the
moral order. But man is of the moral
order; and. as Professor Howlson, of
the University of California, in discuss
ing this subject, has said, "we stand
in need of a new idealism, which would
place God in purely Ideal or Anal-casual
relation to Nature and all its woes,
;md thus to the system, of Nature de
pendent upon them. In no other way,"
says Professor Howison, "am I able to
conceive how, at once, God can be good,
and there can be 1n the imperfect and
catastrophic world an order really
moral; an order, that is, in which the
actions or intelligent beings are verily
their own, and in which such beings
do right out of their own free reverence
for the righteousness in it righteous
ness, part of whose aim must be the
cure of misery In life."
FEW. HOWEVER. WILL TAKE NOTE.
Demand for labor in the Northwest
never was so great as now. And now
is the time for workingmen to make
a beginning for future independence
and prosperity. Some few will, no
doubt, but the mass will not. They -will
not look ahead, and postpone the en
joyment as they think It of today for
the independence of tomorrow, or next
year, or ten years hence.
Some few, however. In these good
times, will be Industrious, prudent and
careful of their earnings; will accumu
late small sums arvl invest them; will
lay "'a. foundation for future prosperity
and will pass into the class that
achieves a reasonable competence and
comparative independence. They will
spend nothing foolishly, will avoid
liquors and tobacco and lewd company;
will go decently d reused, and yet will
not run into showy and useless expense;
will be diligent in all they undertake
and not be afraid of working "over
hours"; and after a while they will have
a property and a character, their names
w ijl be good at bank, and they will be
the envy of those who have been un
willing to pay the price for the distinc
tion and position.
Commonplace indeed, extremely com
monplace, all this is.- And yet the truth
in it is absolute. Truth, however, is
. usually uninteresting and common
place. It Is the allurement of falsity
that Is attractive; and so few there are
who can see that it always promises
more than it can perform.
, Nevertheless, now is the opportunity
for labor. The opportunity will not al
ways be as good as tt'is today. ; They
who work and save their earnings now
will get ahead; and more, they will
be at the head of affairs in the years
that are to come. There are no for
tunes for workingmen in the habits of
the North End of Portland.
EVERY MAN'S PECK OF DIRT.
Every one, according to an old say
ing, is destined to eat his "peck of dirt"
during ' the .course of his natural life.
Most people accept this dictum philo
sophically and indeed stoically, regard
ing the "dirt" which they are doomed
to eat, as merely a contribution from
mother earth in the form of dust blown
in from the roadside, sifting in at the
windows, adhering to vegetables or
fruit when eaten, etc. When, however,
"dirt" is expanded into the filth of the
packing-house, the abominations that
find their way into food as adultera
tions, and the. various concoctions
known to the trade! from oleomargarine
made of dirty grease to "apple Jelly"
made from the cores and skins of
wormy fruit colored with aniline dyes
and flavored with cheap extracts, even
the copper-lined stomach of the full-fed
American turns in revolt from the mess
offered and cries out against taking, his
portion as In excess" of the decree of the
"peck of dirt" to which he was fore
doomed. - Generalities in the line of "what we
eat" are bad enough in all conscience.
But now appears before Congress, and
of course before the wide public therein
represented, a specialist on foods him
self a representative from Illinois and
with relentless devotion to detail tells
us of things that we eat and drink dally
that make the "peck of dirt" seem
small and the traditional dirt itself
clean and appetizing by comparison.
In addition to this, we are shown pep
per berries made from tapioca colored
with lampblack, coffee with which Is
mixed sawdust and bread crumbs,
cherries colored with aniline dye, honey
that : never ' saw a beehive but came
from a glucose factory, meat preserved
by a combination of, sulphite of soda
and coaltar dye, "pure olive oil" dis
tilled from cotton seed, and other adul
terations, not specially vile in them
selves, but all more or less detrimental
lo health and sneakingly dishonest in
regard to weight and measure as sold
In packages.
Yet with all the dosing they receive
through prepared foods, the princfple
of life is strong in the constitutions of
Americans, as shown by the National
bill of health sent out by the Census
Bureau. With the exception only of
Sweden and Norway, the death rate of
the United States is lower than that of
any country In Europe. Even among
the sturdy Scots on their native heath,
the phlegmatic Germans from whom
American meats are withheld for the
health's sake, the beefeaters of old
England, and the potato-consuming
Irish, the per cent of mortality is
greater than among Americans, who
shut their eyes and swallow per capita
their "peck of dirt" uncomplainingly,
add to it a peck of more or less abom
inable adulterations without question.
and complete the Job by taking a peck
of filth without wincing. This leads us
to exclaim, "What longlived men Amer
icans would be, did they eat sparingly
of clean, wholesome food." Methuselah
would be ashamed to tell his age to his
tory in the presence of American long
evity and the rest of the patriarchs
would be written down as men who
died before their time, owing to the fact
that America had not yet been discov
ered.- - . ..
ELIMINATING ALL COMPETITION.
The utter Indifference shown by the
Palouse farmers to the recent meeting
of the Washington Railroad Commis
sion at Colfax indicates a radical
change of sentiment regarding the
Commission and the joint rates which it
is proposed to institute in O. R. & N.
territory". This Indifference is a credit
to the intelligence of the farmers. The
spectacle of a score of Puget Sound'
millers and interior grainbuyers assem
bling at Colfax for the purpose of se
curing a joint rate in order that the
farmer" could increase his profits Is
certainly calculated to inspire mirth, if
it fails in winning the confidence of
the honest farmer. Even with garbled
figures and quotations "made to order"
for the hearing, the Commission failed
to establish the claim of the Puget
Sound millers and "middlemen" that
wheat was uniformly higher on Puget
bound than at Portland. Had these fig
ures been accepted as reliable and as
indicating a percentage in favor of Pu
get Sound, an indispuatble denial would
have been, painfully apparent in the of
ficial figures on actual shipments from
competitive points served by both the
Portland and the Puget Sound roads.
From Farmlngton, the home of the
Commission's star witness, who was
also the owner of warehouses on bofh
tracks, it was shown that 90 per cent
of the wheat was shipped to Portland.
To assume that such a large proportion
of the wheat was shipped to Portland
when prices were higher on Puget
Sound is to assume that the farmers
in the vicinity of Farmington are all
idiots. It would, of course, be very nice
for the Seattle and Tacoma millers, and
also for the curbstone buyers on Puget
Sound, to have the Railroad Commis
sion order in a Joint rate and make the
Portland road a feeder of the lines lead
ing to Puget Sound. But this wss not
the purpose for which Portland capital
ists built the road. Had they expected
the Washington Railroad Commission
to confiscate their property and use it
for the upbuilding of a rival port, it is
hardly probable that they would have
built it. Had the Palouse farmers
waited until Seattle and Tacoma capital
built a road into the country, the devel
opment would not have reached its
present Interesting proportions. But
the Palouse farmer has had his suspi
cions aroused. The Puget Sound seek
ers of cheap wheat, like the lady, "pro
test too much" over refusal of the O.
R. & N. Co. to make their road a feeder
of the Hill lines leading to Puget Sound.
They realize that there is an African In
the fence, and they prefer to intrust
their interests to other hands than to
those which are seeking to enforce a
joint rate in order that the Puget
feound miller can buy wheat at lower
prices than he is now paying. The
compulsory institution of a joint rate
which would force the O.'R. & N. Co.
to turn its business over to the roads
leading to Puget Sound would have the
effect of eliminating all competition.
There are but two factors governing
the making of wheat prices at terminal
points. One is the European wheat
market, the other the Oriental flour
market. The testimony at the Colfax
hearing showed that there were times
during the season when heavy orders
to be hastily filled caused slightly
higher prices in one market than in
another.
It was shown that for a time last
season this emergency business caused
a buyer to pay as high as 3 cents more
for wheat at non-competitive points on
Puget Soand territory than he paid the
same day for shipment, to Portland.
xno sucn amerence wouia exist were a
joint rate in effect, but ths price would
be the same throughout the entire
Northwest, and it would, of courseV.be
the minimum instead of the maxi.mum.
With, all competition: eliminated-by a
joint rate, it becomes a very simple
matter for the big buyers who make the
market at Portland and Puget Sound to
get together, and establish any price
they see fit;' That price might not be
to the advantage of the farmer. The
appropriation made by the Legislature
for the Washington Railroad Commis
sion was only $75,000. That sum will
be insignificant in comparison with the
loss which will be sustained by the
farmers If the joint rate so earnestly
demanded by the Puget Sound millers
Is granted. -
REFORM IN EDUCATION.
The complacent monotony of the al
lege commencement season has been
agreeably stirred in the East by some
heretical remarks of Mr. Charles Fran
cis Adams. This distinguished gentle
man, who has been a Harvard overseer
for some twenty-five years, seized the
opportunity of his Phi B,eta Kappa ad
dress at Columbia, to assert in elaborate
detail that the modern college is too big
for the best interest of the students and
to assail with fact and argument that
crowning educational fad, as he calls
it, the - elective system. Mr. Adams
stands high as a thinker and a man of
practical achievement. His words carry
weight and his iconoclastic speech has
been widely discussed in the Eastern
press. Some publications agree with
him, some differ, but all treat his opin
ions with respect. What the fraternity
of college presidents may think of them"
is not yet apparent, but one can easily
guess. - - '
"With few exceptions every college
president in the country for the last
twenty-five years has spent most of his
time and the best of his energy in a
mad competition for students and en
dowments. To put money in the college
treasury has been the first object of
their lives; to increase its enrollment
the secoifd. For these two ends every
thing else has been sacrificed. , To be
rich and to. be big are the two ideals
which have prevailed in the world of
the higher education. The dignity, the
simplicity and the sanity of college life
have withered before them. Faculties
have become sycophantic beggars at
the doorsllls of the predatory rich. A
professor in Johns Hopkins University
was once heard to lament how much
more skillful the faculty of Pennsyl
vania University was than that of his
own in soliciting and obtaining these
dubious' benefactions. Skill in complai
sant beggary is a matter of natural
gift and assiduous cultivation; at some
colleges one would expect it to be more
developed than at others, and it is not
surprising that the University of Penn
sylvania, situated in Philadelphia,
should have attained a certain pre-eminence
in the art; but the greed for
tainted money seems to be about as ar
dent In one institution as In another.
Tale and Chicago have their Rockefel
ler; Syracuse has its Archbold.
The competition for students is the
simple and adequate explanation of the
degeneracy of college athletics. To at
tract students, no matter what their in
tellectual or moral quality, faculties
have looked on complacently while one
tricky practice after another crept Intd
football. Anything to win, since win
ning great advertisement and
the.college which led in athletics would
also lead in its enrollment. Intercol
legiate games are no longer play, but
hard, dishonorable, tricky business car-.
rlei jm not for fun,, but. for the ma
terial advancement of the corporation.
In these respects colleges have caught
the precise spirit of our other corpora
tions and have sacrificed both morality
and the higtier welfare of their students
to. the greed for money and power.
Leading educationists, like Thwing, of
the Western Reserve University, use
the most grossly materialistic argu
ments to entice students to their insti
tutions. TJhe Joys of scholarship, the
beauty and glory of intellectual attain?
ments. the transcendent excellence of
culture, are s?ldom mentioned in these
solicitations, but one hears a great deal
about the help a college education will
give a man in his business. A college
education helps in the tricky' business
of high finance. The casuistry, the
playing with words and moral distinc
tions, the insincere reasoning of college
logic and rhetoric, are all carried into
business and have played their part in
causing the degeneracy of modern com
merce. The feeling fostered In colleges
that there is no hard and fast distinc
tion between right and wrong, that the
end Justifies the means, that all things
are relative and that success cures all
moral defects 1n the conduct by which
it is won these teachings do undenia
bly help a man in business, though
they do not help him in honest busi
ness; and there is much reason to doubt
whether a college education outside of
the technical courses is of any benefit
whatever in practical life, except as it
may aid a man to live by his wits. Col
lege courses, methods and traditions
were devised to ornament the leisure of
an idle aristocracy; they have for the
most part no relation to practical life,
and the plea that young men will find
them useful in honest industry is mis
leading. The technical courses which
aim directly at achievement are a dif
ferent matter.
Mr. Adams has nothing to say about
the cessation . of the practices which
nave led to the abnormal overgrowth of
colleges. So far as one can discern
from his remarks, he has no wish to
cure the disease, but would palliate its
symptoms by dividing the big universi
ties like Harvard up Into small colleges
on the Oxford plan. Of this scheme, it
is only necessary to say that Oxford
has always been more or less of a
stumbling-block in the way of civiliza
tion and progress in England. Its spirit
has invariably been reactionary and its
practice in educational matters stupid.
It has not and never had any standing
in the world of science, and to Its liter
ary geniuses Oxford has been a cruel
stepmother. The proposal to reorganize
American colleges on the Oxford , plan
is interesting as a symptom of the gen
eral plutocratic reaction agains't demo
cratic ideals, in this country, but it has
little practical importance. The Ger
man influence in our educational insti
tutions is dominant, and will remain
dominant because it is honest, whole
some and democratic. German univer
sities stand for all that Oxford opposes,
bothvin ideals and methods. German
thought leads the world and -German
science directs mstiern thought. WTiat
our colleges need Is more of the Ger
man spirit, not less of It.
As for the elective system, the argu
ments against it are those which are
advanced against all democratic insti
tutions and in favor of aristocratic pa
ternalism. Mr. Adams is afraid to trust
young men with the selection of their
own studies, just as others have been
afraid to trust the people to manage
their own political affairs. If a young
man of eighteen has not sense enough
to know what he wishes to study, he is
unfit material for the college, if he is
idle under the elective system, "he
be idler still under a prescribed course,
besides losing what little power of self
direction he gains from choosing for
himself. Both of Mr. Adams' points are
opposed to educational progress and in
favor of reaction. They are interesting
but futile. The tendency of education
is to become, not less democratic, but
more so.
THE PAY OF SOLDIERS.
Do Army officers get pay enough?
General Corbin thinks not, and so he
told the young men at West Point with
bitter emphasis the other day. It was
on the occasion of their graduation ex
ercises, and Secretary Taft .had - also
something to say to the class. Mr.
Taft told them that, though their pay
would be small for five years or so,
still it was more than the average pro
fessional man makes at the outset of
his career. Moreover, it is certain, while
the young lawyer's or doctor's is often
a very problematic matter. The soldier
need not worry about the wolf at the
door, while all other men who are not
born with a competence must do so
for a time at least; and most men have
to worry always. The Secretary
thought that this freedom from worry
over the means of livelihood was a
blessing to the soldier which made up
to him for the comparative meagerness
of his Income. If it is a blessing for the
soldier to be free from those financial
worries which are inseparable from
competitive industry, why would it not
be a blessing to other , men also? Is
there some peculiar quality about sol
diers which makes that excellent for
them which Is pernicious for other men?
To agree with the sapient Mr. Elklns,
a recent and zealous convert to the
cause of the downtrodden poor, do .we
not in general attach too much merit to
competition and incline to make a fetich
out of that which is at best but a neces
sary evil? Upon a candid considera
tion of the facts, which has done the
most for the human race, competition
or co-operation? Are the great, salu
tary institutions which the human race
ha invented designed to work through
competition or co-operation? Take the
church, for example. What is it but
a great instrument for applying the
best spiritual energy of the few to the
good of the many? An institution, in
fact, through which humanity co-operates
for its spiritual salvation. What"
spiritual benefits could men achieve
through competition which compare
with the vast ameliorations effected by
the church?
The school is another tremendous tri
umph of co-operation. The whole Na
tion unites in the effort to educate it
self, and who shall say that it does not
thereby achieve vast economies both in
expenditure and in actual work done?
Suppose every man were left to educate
his own children by the purely competi
tive method, what proportion of us
would be literate? But the Army itself
is perhaps the finest example in the
world of co-operation carried out to the
limit. The Army is the instrument by
.which the, body politic, acting as a
whole, defends itself. Armies, to be
sure, like fire, sometimes become mas
ters instead of servants, but that by no
means alters their true purpose. The
Afiny shows what co-operation at Its
best, when persisted in for a long time,
can do, both for those who serve and
those who are served. It is agreed on
all hands that, everything considered,
the good soldier is our noblest type of
man. Freed from competition, he has
had time and opportunity to develop
those qualities of gentleness, bravery
and considerateness which, with all our
pretended admiration for wolfish greed,
we value most; and living as he does
for service rather than acquisition, he
comes beyond all doubt nearer to the
ideal of the Galilean than any of the
rest of us do.
Suppose the rule of co-operation un
der which armies, with all their fine
qualities of gentleness, obedience and
dauntless courage, have been evolved,
were to be applied to all the rest of us.
Could we all grow gentle, brave and
obedient? Could the ideal of service
instead of greed ever become the domi
nant ideal of the race if we were all
subjected to some training through
many years of our lives, like that of
the soldier, and would we be better for
it? Speaking of General Lee, writers
who are best informed always say em
phatically ,that he was Christlike;
meaning that in his inner demeanor
there was a grave gentleness which is
sometimes connoted by the rare word
"tender." Grant was of all things se
rene and pitiful; and the highest qual
ity which we discover in the noblest of
our Presidents was his measureless
compassion. Great compassion implies
great intellect: for it is only he that
understands all who can forgive all.
Therefore we say also that Lincoln was
not only the most tender-hearted of
men, but that he compares well with
the greatest in his powers of mind.
Earthly power doth then show likest
God's when mercy seasons justice; and,
as one greater than Shakespeare said,
the greatest of all is the servant of all.
We must therefore cease, as Mr. Taft
told the young soldiers, to measure men
by the money they inherit or acquire.
There are other things which make bet
ter standards. And the rest of us must
learn that there are better things than
money to live for. A rich American
boasted not long ago that we in this
country make better use of our lives
than the Europeans because we go on
earning money up to the moment of our
deaths. What he thought was our
glory is really our disgrace. If we give
our whole lives to money-making, what
time have we for the high and beauti
ful aims which God has strewed along
the pathway of life?
WHERE BOTH SEXES MAY LEARN.
The record in attendance and schol
arship made by the State Agricultural
College during the year, now about to
close is most gratifying to the large
constituency of the college the people
of the state who support It. The high
est enrollment In the history of the col
lege was reached during this year a
total of 735 students having registered.
"While it is a matter of regret that so
few of the entire number were enrolled
in the department of agriculture, it is
worth while to know that there were
sixty-six young men in this department
and that sixty-five- young women
thought it worth while to study house
hold science? a very necessary adjunct
to the comfort of rural life.
Opportunities for improvement in the
details that go to make up modern
housekeeping are limited In many rural
sections. The country lass should be a
good housekeeper. Since housekeeping
is not an Inheritance, but an acquisi
tion, she should be taught to keep house
according to labor-saving and economic
methods. Her mother has, perhaps,
never learned the science of doing
things in the easiest, best and most sat
isfactory way never having been
taught. She has simply "got along,"
and, "early old," has in too many cases
dropped into the role of a hopeless, un
paid worker, whose tasks were never
dope. " The daughtert lacking opportu
nity to improve upon the industrial
methods and status of her mother, and
mother's mother, seeks it perhaps in
going out to do housework in the city.
She falls, "not knowing how."
The remedy for this is in intelligent
teaching." The first step in this direc
tion Is to dismiss the Idea that, because
she was born a woman-child, the girl
takes naturally and understanding to
housework; that she knows, in fact, in
tuitively, how to cook and wash dishes,
dust, make beds, set the .table, etc.;
that she does not need to be . taught
how to do these things, because, being
a woman-child, she knows how without
being taught. This fallacy disposed of,
give her a chance to learn.
If the farmer can send his son to the
State Agricultural College to study the
science of agriculture, he can send his
daughter there to study household sci
ence. Let us hope that there will' be an
increased enrollment of students in each
of these departments as the years go
on, to the- end that the State Agricul
tural College may bo what its name im
pliesfirst of all a college for the -Instruction
of young men and women in
the twin sciences agriculture and do
mestic or household science.
A. Mr. Hayfleld, testifying before the
Washington Railroad Commission, stat
ed that he placed no reliance in the
market quotations sent out from Port
land, Seattle and Tacoma by the Asso
ciated Press. As he also testified that
he received the quotations, on which he
bought and sold wheat, by mail, instead
of by telegraph, and that 2 to 5 cents
per bushel was in his mind a fair mid
dleman's profit on wheat, his evidence
on any business matter would, of
course, be worthless. At the same time
it might be mentioned that market quo
tations In a daily paper of, any standing
must be accurate to avoia an avalanche
of complaints which follow the publica
tion of incorrect quotations. If wheat
or any other commodity is quoted too
high, the correction is quickly forth
coming from the man who is interested
Vn cheap wheat. If it is quoted too low,
an even louder growl is heard from the
man who is in quest of high prices.
The only satisfactory quotation is the
correct one, and that is the quotation
which is printed in .newspapers which
print the news.
The Senate has just passed a bill to
make a present to some North Dakota
landowners. The amount of the pres
ent Is a round million, and it comes, of
course, like all such benefactions, out of
the pockets of the people. The purpose
of the bill is to abstract a million dol
lars from the reclamation fund and
give it to these landowners. Not one
vote was cast against the graft in the
Senate. Where were the Western Sen
ators when this iniquity was enacted?
Did they care too little about the re
clamation fund to know what was go
ing on? If they knew, did they ap
prove? If they did not approve, why
did they not speak against the steal,
even if they dared not vote against it?
The answer is easy. They were silent
through courtesy. Senatorial courtesy
gave this million dollars of the peo
ple's money to the grafters. Will the
time ever come when Senators will find
it worth while to show the same "cour
tesy" to their constituents that they
now accord so readily to thieves?
The anti-pass law adopted by the
referendum vote is said to be inoper
ative Decause It contains no enacting
clause; and the constitution says all
laws must have an enacting clause.
This is flimsy. ' There is no constitu
tion, except the sentiments lodged in
the breast of Mr. U'Ren. All else has
been superseded. Ask him whether the
anti-pass act is to be the law, or not.
The local prohibitionists are to give
Leader Castle a great banquet on July
2. Just think of that Jovial spirit Bre'r
Amos as toastmaster. But whatever
may be said of such exhilarating af
fairs, it is certain that the cold gray
dawn of the morning after will find the
revelers without the slightest trepida
tion about any visits from Colonel R. E
Morse.
The Prohls cut Bre'r Amos awfully
giving half their total vote to Cham
berlain, which was about his plurality
in the state. Doubtless, as an esteemed
contemporary says, they voted as they
prayed, but they voted first, and then
prayed. It is funny enough the rela
tions of the favorite of the liquor trade
and of the Prohis, to both sides.
Mayor McClellan will return from
Europe in ten weeks, expecting to find
that the New York Democracy will
have nominated "an honest man for
Governor with honest issues to fight
for." Ten weeks Is a little soon, but
much might be done for McClellan by
the Bryan method of foreign travel and
long-range political booms.
Governor Chamberlain held up the
appropriation for thejetate Institutions.
Then by petition the people held them
up again; and then In the election they
voted both for Governor Chamberlain
and for the appropriations he had held
up. 'Tis a wise man who can know
the public mind, which doesn't know
itself.
We see nothing more in the organ of
the plutocrats, urging adherence to
"Statement No. 1." The organ will do
its best, or worst, to beat that state
ment next Winter in the Legislature;
especially if it shall see or shall think
it sees a chance for one of its pluto
cratic backers to buy the Senatorshlp.
Portland pays .for pavements what
the paving companies ask, not what
the Work is worth. This it is that
makes and supports the demand 'for
control of public works and public util
ities by the public.
Two railroad rebaters In the peni
tentiary may not be many, but it is two
more than were ever there before. And
accommodations can and should be
found for others.
Two railroad rebaters have been sen
tenced to prison at Kansas City. The
"immunity bath" doesn't work along
the classic banks of the Missouri.
Summer is here, and every one is glad
he is alive except, of course, Mr. Word
and Mr. Stevens, who don't know
whether it's worth while.
Mr. Wellman doesn't anticipate any
great trouble in reaching the pole in
his airship. Getting back is what is
likely to bother him.
The Ladd view of it seems to be that
the Johnson estate wasn't really worth
saving. It hasn't been, for any oth
ers but the Laddst
THE LATEST, ESSAY OX MAN.
(Mtas Carrie "Wilson, daughter of a millowner
of - Aberdeen, and socially, promlnenc, was
elected president of the recently organized
High School Alumni Association. She is also
prominent in club work. She was given-the
toast "Men" to respond to at the flrat annual
.banquet and made the bit of the evening with
the High School faculty, members of the
Board of Education and college graduates who
were present. Her response was aa follows;)
Nothing can cover hls-hlgh fame but heaven;
No pyramids set off his memories.
But the eternal subject of his greatness
To which 1 leave him.
In a careful research through pages
and pages of ancient history, I found,
not to my surprise, however, that the
original man was in many respects
like a mule, that he has been a kicker
from the start. The theory of evolu
tion, which has been applied to almost
everythlnsc else under the sun. has not
changed man he Is still mulish and
still a kicker. Developed from pro
toplasm, the greatest characteristic
being the long ears, he is the. first
highly organized animal to retain this
characteristic. Long cars denote ob
stinacy, which trait still predominates.
When a woman gets harnessed with
this man-mule she soon finds it is not
the only mulish trait he retains. Hell
go just so far and then balk, and not
any amount of coaxing or persuasion
on her part can induce him to move
along. Now, while. we have respect
for the everyday, common mule, be
cause he kicks, many times, wich a
reason, the man-mule kicks simply for
the . love of the thing. I gather this
last information from my girl friends
who have married. t
Men, as we see, were originally
mules, 'and there are such things as
blind mules. They do not see or know
a good thing, and many of them are
deficient in good taste that is why
I am single today. Naturally, if I were
of the mule persuasion-1 would have a
kick coming, but women never kick.
When this toast of "Men" first burst
upon me I was astounded at the'appar
ent vastness of the subject. In the
words of Kipling, "A great and terrify
ing honor had come upon me." They
said the toasts were to be two minutes
Jn length, and I was swamped with the
idea of saying all I wanted to about
"Men" in two minutes. But as I began
my research and tried to find something
good to say about them, I learned that
two minutes was entirely too long for
a discussion of the subject. Man, I say
what do we women want of men we
who have none? Didn't the last session
of the National Business Woman's
League declare he was merely an ap
pendage, an adjunct, a corollary, of
woman merely-an incident in a wom
an's life? In short, not nearly as im
portant as he Imagines himself to be?
The married women warn us not to
have , anything to do with them, but
whether they are really disinterested,
or whether they are a trifle Jealous,
for fear we -will flirt with their hus
bands, I am unable to say.
Now, to be serious, ladies and gen
tlemen, we women really like the men.
Just think of what they have done for
us! They have given us the inestima
ble privilege of voting at school elec
tions. They actually allow us to pay
the taxes on our property, and Invite
us to the social sessions of their clubs
expurgated editions. All they re
quire of us is to always Jook beautiful,
be amiable, intelligent, refined, artistic,
entertaining, able to cook and ' sew,
make the fires in the morning while
hubby takes his beauty sleep, split our
own wood, be well-dressed and keep
house on $13 -a month. Just, watch the
expression on a man's face when "his
wife asks for money. Oh, no! her. pock
etbook never needs replenishing. His
motto seems to be: "Never mind what
I spend, but see you don't spend any."
It reminds me of a story I heard the
other day the same old story. A man
was kicking about his wife's cooking,
and said: "Oh, if you could only make
bread like my mother used to make!"
She replied: "You bring me the dough
your father brought your mother and
I'll make as good bread as she ever
made."
But never mind, girls; though, they
have tried to keep us in the kitchen,
where they say we rightly belong,
many of us have burst forth from the
kitchen to meet our beau if) the front
hall, when we were trying to get up
stairs to change our collar or adjust
our back hair.
If I were to write an apostrophe to
man I would say he is not always the
mule I have pointed out. There are
handsome, stalwart, courageous, gal
lant, magnificent men. I know, because
I have read about them in books. I'll
admit there are a few angels among
them, and all those who are here to
night I know are angels. Their wives
and sweethearts tell me so. It is the
fellows .who are absent I have been
speaking about.
No Enlightenment Here.
Washington Post.
"Rarer than the rjhoenix ."- sava De
Quincey, "is the virtuous man who would
consent to lose a prosperous anecdote be
cause it was a lie"; but his name is
legion compared with him who thinks it
sin to work evil that good may result.
None but the good can handle pitch with
out defilement, and that raises the para
mount issue that has been pestering man
kind since God set the mark on Cain.
Who is good? Dr. Frahklin gave a toler
able answer to it when he said that when
we get to heaven we will have to put
up with the company of some of our
neighbors whom we never dreamed of
meeting there.
When the Teat Will Come.
Chicago Tribune.
The Oregon method of handing over to
the people the election of United States
Senators may work smoothly until put to
a real test. That test will come when the
Senatorial candidate of one party wins at
the primaries and the opposing party con
trols the Legislature. Presumably the
party in power will elect a Senator of
its own political faith, and assuredly he
will be seated.
Some Qunllncatlona.
Baltimore News.
If Is reported in New York that Charles
M. Schwab has been picked to succeed
Newlands as Senator from Nevada. Mr.
Schwab appears to have two of the regu
lar qualifications for a Nevada Senator
ship. He lives in New York and he plays
a stiff game.
Come RIKbt In.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
Good morning, Oklahoma. ' Please
leave your spurs on the doormat, hang
your cartridge belt on the hatrack and
take a seat in the front parlor. Uncle
Sam will be down In a few minutes.
Hall Catne Skoeked.
From the London Telegraph.
Hall Caine has received a terrible shock.
A letter sent to him with the inscription
on the envelope "Hall Calne. Esq.. Isle
of Man," has been returned as "Insuffi
ciently addressed."
Aa the Portland Gas Trout Did.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
It is noticeable that when the Toledo
grand Jury got after the ice trust of that
locality the latter speedily discovered that
last Winter's ice crop was not a failure
and reduced the price,
THE FESSI.MIST. ,
Never put off until tomorrow what can
be done next week as well.
"I am not singularly obtuse," observed
the -man who was about to be hanged,
"but I never take a drop until the last
minute."
It is said that large bodies move slowly.
This old saying was subjected to a strik
ing refutation the other night on Wash
ington street. A large man, in descending
from the main deck of an automobile,
missed the step; and those who witnessed
the event noticed that he arrived at the
earth at a tremendous rate of speed.
And the Jar thereof was exceeding great.
The latest theory regarding the cause
of cancer comes from .FTa Elbertus, of
the Philistine. According to him canter
Is often the direct result of persistent
wrong, thinking. Tomatoes, salt, cigars
and tobasco sauce may now be indulged
in with impunity, and some of our emi
nent theologians will have to take care
of themselves. '
It seems that a surgeon in Southern
California took out a patient's heart,
washed the dirt out of it, put it back
again; and the man is alive and happy.
That is truly a remarkable feat; and a
man who can do such a thing Is a credit
to his profession. But, if he would be a
real benefactor of mankind, he should
catch John D. Rockefeller, take out his
heart, remove the grease spots with some
of John's own gasoline, thoroughly de
odorize it. and put it back Into a place
where it would have a chance to grow
larger. '
Through the beneficent publicity made
possible by W. R. Hearst," the great
modern reformer, Ella Wheeler Wilcox
has been telling the world what , she
would do If she herself had John
t. Rockefeller's money instead of John.
Many and most excellent are the things
that would be accomplished; and I
hope that she will have the chance.
However, if I had all that money I know
what I would do. Firgt of all, I would
give Ella half of it, because she thought
of this thing first; then I would invest
a portion of the remainder in some col
lar buttons front collar buttons. I never
had but one at a time in my life. Many
a festive occasion I have missed; many
a chance to disport myself in glad rags
before God's elect, our first'familles, the
holy ones. All these opportunities were
lost to me because I lacked the energy
to transfer my one front collar button
from the garment I had on to a shirt
fresh, from the laundry, stiff, glossy and
immaculately white. I would buy a lot
of them thousands of them, so no matter
In which direction my hand extended, a
collar button- would be within my grasp.
With all that money at my command, I
would coninve to liftmen wie ourumi di
wealth carried by 'Henry H. Rogers. I
would reduce him to absolute penuryi
and then employ him to pick up the col
lar buttons which I would drop. "Get
down on your fours, you dog." I would
tumindiiu, aim sol Liitti. uuiiuu num un
der the dresser and the one that Is under
the bed. Take that button out of your
pocket, you scoundrel! You can't steal
anything from me." All the years of
misery endured on account of my poverty
In the matter of collar buttons would be
requited by seeing Rogers placed on the
level and be obliged to act on the square.
One of the curious manifestations of
human nature -is the desire ou the part
of the man, who Is good to a certain de
gree, that others be as good as himself.
Those, who are not good, resist the ful
fillment of this desire with a strenuous
ness that surprises every reformer. There
is the man who goes to church and prays.
robs his neighbors and Is guilty of the
blackest treachery to his friend; this
pious and well-dressed individual becomes
faint and sick at heart when he con
templates the enormous Iniquity of those
who drink and gamble, and do othee
things that he Is too pure -to do. He
cannot understand why people will do
such things. The lesion in his think' ap
paratus is like unto that of the man
who does all of those things and kicks
his wife, violates the speed ordinance,
and is the epitome of all that is vile and
reprehensible; there are none so poor as
to do him reverence. And yet, the scorn
with which he contemns the being who
smokes cigarettes Is noble in its In
tensity. Yea, verily I say unto you the cigarette
smoker is the limit. There is none whom
he can revile, so he smoketh on and on
and sayeth not; neither doth he get mad
and curse. The world Is better than him
self, so he is calm and content. The
smiling fields, the bounteous forests, the
snow-clad mountains are to him the
manifestations of an all-wise providence
which doeth all things for all mankind,
even unto the least of its creatures: and
so the man with the cigarette smoketh
on and on. At night as he gazes above
and around at the starry vault, he recog
nizes his own infinitesimal littleness, and
is merely glad that he is, that he is
allowed to be. He views with mild regret
the obscuration of Venus' transcendent
beauty by the murky thickness of our
planet's atmosphere. The Queen of Night
has sunk to rest; on the morrow it will
rise again; and so he smoketh on and on.
He turns to the left; there in th south
Js Scorpio. Its glory punctuated by An
tares' angry glare. In the east, slo-wly
rising above the haze, appears the King -of
the Heavens, the lordly Arcturus, shin
ing majestically a quadrillion miles away.
"On that vast surface," mused that. low
est of all humans, -the man with the
cigarette, "this earth with all Its won
ders would be but an Invisible speck.
O, Arcturus! ' Thou great one, what am 17
I am nothing, and yet I exist.". And he
calmly lighted another cigarette.
"Blessed are. the. poor in spirit; for
their' s is the kingdom of heaven," said
the Master.
"So mote it be," said the man with
the cigarette.
M. B. WELLS.
Thl Foreign Trip Paid "Well.
Boston Herald.
The marriage in Holyoke, Mass., Mon
day of Muss Edith Ramage, daughter of
the late James Ramage, ' to Lawson
Ramage, of Monroe Bridge, was the
fourth of a series of romances which
have been strangely linked together.
Three years ago four Holyoke society
girls, all Smith College graduates, spent
a Winter abroad, and there each of the
four met her future husband. Miss
Marjorie Hemingway became the . bride
of Frederick von Pflster, a rich Munich
grain importer; Miss Clara Heywood
married Charles E. Scott, . of Albion,
Mich., and Miss Alice Whiting became
Mrs. Fred F. Bennett, of Holyoke.
Lawson Ramage is a member of the
Ramage family of Scotland, and thoueh
his older brother married the older sis
ter of the bride, the principals in Mon
day's ceremony were unacquainted when
Miss Ramage went abroad.' James Ram
age, father, of Miss Ramage.-was one of
the largest paper manufacturers in the
country.