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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (April 23, 1905)
THE SUNDAY OREGOIAN, POBTLAJND, APRIL 23, 1905. -ll IMI J JD I ever tell you 'bout the time Jim and I got mixed up with the Humano Society?" Dick asked. The round-up outfit was stretched out on the ground about a huge Are, smoking and resting alter a day's -hard ride. The night was clear and just cool enough to make a fire comfortable. Overhead glowed the stars In a sky which Is to be be seen only on the great plains. Off on the hills the coyotes barked their multi tudinous ylp-yaps, and an occasional wolf gave forth a long, coarse howl. The night and the circumstances were such as to stir the soul with Inspiration, to make one forget that there Is such & thing as a city, with all its artificialities. Per haps that was the reason why Dick thought of this story; he always did the unexpected. "Well," he continued, "seeln' that no body seems to have heard of that experi ence of ours, I don't mind telling It to help pass the time, unless some of you buckaroos would like to Btart a little game of draw In hopes of separatln' me and my roll of the filthy into two or more herds." The crowd by silence indicated that the story would be the more acceptable and less expensive diversion. "After Jim had been out here for a few years, he kind of got a notion in his head that we could raise a right respectable pot of the filthy by takin' a carload of horses back East and sellln' them. Jim, you know, was once a Plttsburger, which accounts for his dark complexion. Maybe he thought that, and maybe he Just want ed to go back there and show them dude Easterners how we do It out here. But this last cause I never suspected till after . we struck the place, 'cause you all know I'm simple and unsuspectln' by nature ex cept In the matter of flushes and full houses. But while we were there, the way he acted and dressed chaps, six shooters, spurs, big bandana on all the time made me some suspicious. "But, anyhow, whatever he did It for, don't make no difference. We landed there with our carload of horses, and all of them In pretty good shape. We un loaded them In one of their big corrals that they call stockyards, and after feed In' hay and waterln' them, Jim took me off uptown with him. I was a plumb bronc, you know; been born and raised right out here on the range, fed on flap jacks, bacon and buffalo meat all my life, and never been In a place bigger than Medora is now in my life. But Jim he had been one of them city dudes once, though of course he had found out the error of his ways and made a man of himself. Now he was goln' to show them a few things. So he hits the trail right up the middle of town, with me a-followln right on his heels. Well, sir, he led me all over Pittsburg that way, on the side walk, too. I wanted to take the street where there wasn't nothln' but horses to got tangled up with, but he wouldn't have it. No sir, he stuck to that side walk trail, where there was more men and women than there was cattle in this whole country. Um, say, boys, but them women sure were pretty! I hadn't never seen many women, you know; 'way out here they were as scarce as three legged buffaloes. 'Course, I couldn't look at 'em very close, 'cause I didn't want to start no shootin', but I managed to get a few looks without any of the men seeln' me. But old Jim he just walked right along, head up and spurs a-JInglln like he owned the whole outfit, though he didn't have his brand on any of them. Why, say, boys, if anybody had started the shootin', I couldn't have got my gun in action In ten minutes, there was so many people. That's why I wanted Jim. to take to the street. "Drinks? Of course, Gummy. We had a few, eight or ten, maybe, but, great petrified pintos, a man couldn't get a de cent drink out of them little glasses they give you in them cities. So we got back to the corral sober and all right, without havln' to pull our guns once. "Well, the next day there was a big crowd round that corral lookin' at our horses. You see, they had heard 'bout Western horses, how tough they are, and how fast they can run, and how they can buck and pitch and all that, and they were all down to see them. We had a good bunch of them, too, mostly 5 and 6-year-olds, well broke, that Is, as we call broke, and we didn't count on havln' trouble in sellln them. And we didn't. One big livery man bought the whole bunch, and we were to deliver thom to him. "Right there was where the trouble begun. If he had left that part out, we wouldn't have got tangled up with the Humane Society, and I wouldn't have all these gray hairs in my head. That was sure an awful experience, boys. 'Take my word for It, and don't you ever let that outfit g-et its rope on you. You're a dead wolf If you do. But If you ever do, just lay right down and play dead. Don't go to pltchln' and tearln 'round like I did, "cause they'll sure choke you down, just like they did Jim and me, and right In Jim's own town, too. I don't reckon he ever got clean over the dis grace. "We bought a lot of rope, made hackamores for all the horses, and got ready to lead them down to the livery stable. We couldn't drive them loose through the streets, you know, as we would out here. So we just tied the horses In a long string, one to the tall of the other, and started up town with them. That was a funny sight to them dudes, I reckon, 'cause everybody we passed stopped and looked at us. Jim had on his chaps, his six-shooter, red bandanna and all. Just as I said, and he was sure steppln' high,, 'cause he was makin' a sensation. But I didn't like it any too much- I never was locoed like some people on the sub ject of being looked at like a buffalo In a corral. "The horses was leadin fine, not makin' no fuss, and not pullln' back, and I thought we would make our campln'place all right. All of a sud den I heard a woman let out a screech that made me grab for my gun. I've heard Injuns yell, but that woman had all the Injuns in America drove clean off the reservation. 'Oh! look there! Look there!' she screeched. 'Look at those horrid, cruel .men. See what they are doin' to them poor horses. Stop it! Stop it, I say, you unfeeling brutes!' Then I savvied that she was talkin' 'bout us. I looked 'round, and there she was comln to wards me, polntln her finger at me and callln me bad names. "She was one of these little, skinny, hollow-eyed women that never had a breath of real, good fresh air in their "D' lives. Her cheeks looked like two pieces of dried apple, her lips were as thin as the edge of a knife, and her eyes snapped like a mad grizzly's. Great petrified pintos, but she was mad! She came prancln' out towards me, and of course I couldn't do nothln' but stand there and wait for her. She called me all the names she could think of and some more. Finally I savvied that she thought we wore abusln' the horses. That idea struck me so funny that I laughed. Then she did got "mad. Urn, my. bow she did trim me! She had me down and hog tied In just no time. Jim' he was out of sight on tho other side, and T got It alL I've heard men swear, and can untie a few choice remarks myself, but I couldn't follow her smoke. Oh, no. She ought to start a swearln' school, whore they could learn pooplo to swear without sayln' 'damn. "Well, she run out of breath after a while, but not heforo she had at tracted a big crowd 'round us. 'Mad am,' I said, 'you are mistaken 'bout our hurtln these horses, 'cause they I bogan. " 'How dare you talk to me?' she said. 'Well, seeln' that you spoke first " 'Untie them ropes. Untie them at once, you great, big. heartless brute!' she replied before I had half begun. Indian's Reverie T-""-------------------------------- - --- ............ . . ... mmm .mm mm . . S. ....... . - . - - - ' We 1ST HUGH MEUFMAN. "'Madam, whero I came from,' I said, 'many a man has been shot for sayln' less than that to another, and no lady " 'Policeman! Policeman! Here, police man,' she shouted to a fellow In blue clothes who came up just then. 'Arrest these men for cruelty to animals, and charge this one with Insulting me be sides.' "That made me mad, and I was 'bout to get my gun Into action when Jim, kwho came round then, grabbed my arm una nopi me irora puiiin iu n.e luiu me to leave It to him and say nothln. So I did. And a nice mess he made of It, too! Now, if he had let me mix a little lead with that cop's beer, we'd have got out all right, maybe. But old Jim he just let him arrest us. And what do you think that big blue heron did? Well, sir, he made us untie all them horses from each other's tails, and tie them together by the heads. That little old woman, mad as a wet hen, was hoppln and cacklin' 'round us all the time, too, and aggravatln me Worst than if I had had a boll. I was wlshln all the time that one of them horses would cut loose with "his heels and land that fat old cop In the Allegheny River, but the East had degenerated them even in one day, and they all acted like kittens. "So we led the horses to the stable, and then the cop took us to the police station, Darkly and moodily by the wild waters. Tossing their mists at his feet on shore. Dreams the lone son of the war chieftain's daughter Dreams of the glory of tribesmen of yore! Vanished the lodges that decked the green mountains; Silent the songs from the tepee and plain; Cometh no warriors to dlnk from the fountains; Cometh no shout of the huntsman again! Yet, as he lingers In silence and listens. There, where the Cascades make merry all day. Watches and waits where the tinted mist glistens. He hears the wild shouts of the children at play! Rising before hlm the dim, clustered legions. Spreading in glory upon the broad place, Teeming with warriors, the desolate regions Ah, in his dream he beholds the old race! where they made us ant S50 ball or stay In the corral all night. We'saw; the raise and promised to. be there the next mornin'. I wanted to shoot up the., town, I was so mad; but Jim he made me take it out In swearln. "That night Jim and I talked it over and decided what we would say the next' day at . the trial. Course, we couldn't say what we wanted to, but we fixed up the story we would telL Did you ever notice how these flxed-up stories peter, out when you' come to tell them? I have. "Comes next mornin. and I was for throwln down our hands and lettin them have the fifty each of us had anted, but Jim he wouldn't have that; he wanted to play the hand out. So I went along with him down to the jag corral. The courtroom was crowded with loafers, shyster lawyers and about the choicest herd of bums and nose-painters I ever saw. There was one woman, too, not bad lookin', either. I chouldn't hear what they charged her with, though Jim he told me afterwards It must have been champagne, but the Judge he fined her J10. She started to cry and sob, and I felt kind of sorry for her. and was just a-goin' to offer to pay it for her when a big, fat duck, with a red vest and a quart of diamonds stuck on him, waddled up. paid the fine, told her to shut up and come on. I felt like takin a shot at his red target, and told Jim so, but Jim he Thirsting for vengeance tho fierce hosts assemble. Wildly they're chanting the battle-mad hymn; Ah, but the war trails beneath the hoofs tremble They gather like clouds, on the horizon's rim! Far In the distance the tepees are guarded; War steeds arc tethered and signal fires bright Down the steep trails, like an eagle from heaven. Sweeps the wild horde on the foeman at night! Then the closed eyes of the Dreamer are opened!- ' Only the music and mist of the stream! . Only the mountains, forbidding and lonely! . Only the flush of a heart-breaking dream! Singing so blithely the Turn-water whispers: -"I am the voice and the spirit of yore! t - Here, let the Redman in reverie linger. Dream and drink deeply my song, evermore!" x ' Pendleton, Or., April IS, 1905. BERT HUFFMAN. told .me I already had a blccer steer ton the end of my rope than I could han dle, and I allowed he was just 'bout right. "Well, sir; that Judge must have been out -with the boys the night before, 'cause he was in a awful bad humor. Nobody had any chance; he soaked them all. I couldn't see no use in tryin' to run a bluff on him, 'specially as he hold four aces every hand. But Jim, he wouldn't listen to me. At last, some one called Jim and me up. The Judge, he asked what the charge against us was, and a young fellow told him cruelty to animals against both, of us. and insultln' a woman besides against me. " 'What have you got to say for your selves? asks the Judge like he was chew in' nails. "I looked at Jim and Jim he looked at me and nodded; so I started out on the story we had fixed up. " 'Well, Judge, you see, it was this way," I says. 'We are two plain men from 'way out In Dakota, and we've come here not knowln all the rules of the game as you play It in the city. We may have broke some of them rules, but wo didn't havo no notion of doin It. Wo didn't try to run In a cold deck on you or hold out any aces, and we've discarded fair. Of course, If you think you ought to have a rake-off out of every pot, why wc "All this time Jim he was pullin my coat, but I didn't savvy. Just here the Judge, he said, kind of mad like, 'What are you talking about? Answer my iirst question. Are you guilty or not? " 'Well, Judge, I said, 'I was just a-tryln to do that very thing, but I reckon my language ain't clear. But I sure thought you people in the city would know that game. Why, every little boy out West " 'Will you plead or not? he shouted " 'Plead? For what? For that fifty of mine you've got? I'll see you in hell be fore Til beg anybody for any fifty dol lars. There's lots more where that came from. And I've got some respect left for myself even If I have let one of them pink-cheeked, pot-bellied cops arrest me." "Now, don't you go gettin' fresh with this court ho roars, gcttln red. then white. "I ain't gettin' fresh, I'm soured on the whole outfit "Officer, what were these men doin?' he asked the cop. " LadIn' a string av horrses alang tlie street be the tails,' the flannel mouth said. " "Leadin them by the tails? the Judge asked. " Yis, sor. Iv'ry wan was tied to the wan's tail In fronjt av him.' "'Except the first one. Judge,' I said. "'Will you hold your tongue?' he Little Sermons by Elbert Hubbard Aphorisms by the Editor of "The Philistine." I HAVE a profound respect for boys. Grimy, ragged, tousled boys in the street often attract me strangely. A boy is a man In the cocoon you do not know what It la going to become his life is big with possibilities.. He may make or unmake kings, change the boundary lines between states, write books that will mold characters, or invent machines that will revolutionize the commerce of the world. Governments grant men Immunity from danger on payment of a tax. Thus men cease protecting themselves, and so, In the course of time, lose the ability to protect themselves, because the faculty of courage has atrophied through disuse. Brooding apprehension and crouching fear are properties of civilized men men who are protected by the state. The Joy of reveling in life Is not possible in cities. Bolts and bars, locks and keys, soldiers and police, and a hundred other symbols of distrust, suspicion and hate, are on every hand reminding us that man Is the enemy of man, and must be protected from his brothers. Protection and slavery are always near of kin. In every successful concern, whether It be bank, school, factory, steamship com pany or railroad, the spirit of one man runs through and animates the entire In stitution. The success or failure of the enterprise turns on the mental, moral and spiritual qualities of this one man. And the leader who can Imbue an army of workers with a spirit of earnest fidel ity to duty, an unswerving desire to do the thing that should be done, and always with animation" kindness, courtesy and good cheer, must be ranked as one of the great men of the earth. If you are a student In a college, seize upon the good that Is there. You get good by giving It. You gain by giving so glvo sympathy and cheerful loyalty to the Institution. Be proud of it. Stand by your teachers they are doing the best they can. If the place is faulty, make it a better nlace by an example of cheer fully doing your work every day the best you can. Mind your own business. I have noticed that In households where a strap hangs behind the kitchen door, ready for use. It is not utilized so much for discipline as to ease the feelings of the parent They say that expression is a need of the human heart; and I am also convinced that In many hearts there is a strong desire at times to "thrash" some one. The voice Is the true index of the soul. People who are vulgar may dress correct ly and speak' grammatically, but they continue to either screech or purr. The clear, low, musical modulation belongs yelled at me, and Jim he told me to keep stilL "An"d a noico old lady "had me ar rest thlra fer doin' it, yer honor. And this wan here, he told her she wasn't no loidy, sor.' " Aw, no, I didn't. Judge. I started to tell her that out in our country ladies don't "That will do from you, till I ask you to speak. Another word out of you and I'll send you to jail. Is that all, officer? 'Yls, sor; that's all. "Now, what have you to say to that?" the Judge asked me. "That 'bout the horses is true. Judge,' I said. 'We did have them tied head to tall, but we weren't hurtln them any. Judge, you just ought to oomc out West and see us when we do have to hurt them. " 'Yes; I've heard of the way you heartless cowboys mistreat your horses out West, but I want you to under stand that you' can't do it when you come to Pittsburg. And what's more, you shall not come here and Insult the women of this community. If you come here, you must act as we do, not as you do In the barbarous West.' " 'Barbarous West! Hell! Any Judge out there that would let a man treat a woman as you let that red-bellied sport treat that woman right here In your courtroom wouldn't last as long as a violet at a skunk caucus,' I said, get tin' some mad nryself. "Wow, but he got hot at that. I thought he'd bust before he found words. Til teacn you to show con tempt for this court.' he sputtered. 'How many horses did you have?' " Twenty. " 'I fine each of you five dollars for each horse, one hundred dollars apiece; and you ten dollars for insulting & lady and twenty-five for contempt of court.' "1 looked at Jim, He was kind of? white, but was fishin' for his roll. 'Judge,' I says, 'that makes mine a hundred and thirty-five, don't .t? Couldn't you knock off five for the last horse? You see. he didn't have a horse tied to his tail " 'No, he roared Til not remit a cent.' " 'All right. Judge. I said, "here's your money. Never mind makin' out a receipt. We'll trust you. And now. Judge, that we are square. I'd Ju3t like to ask you one question. "'Well, what Is it? "'Don't you think you flattered yourself a little by flnin me thirty five dollars for insultln you and only ten dollars for insultln' the lady? "That question will cost you ten dollars more, the Judge yelled, his face all purple and white." "Did you pay it?" Gunny, the cook, asked Dick, after a few minutes of silence. "Pay it?. Oh, sure. It was worth ten dollars to see that fit he had; but I didn't buy any more fits that day." "But what I can't understand is why Jim let you do all the talkin," said Bill. "That was in the. fix-up of the nignt "before. Jim fixed It that way; and X being unsuspoctin. except in the mat ter of flushes and full-houses, let it go. But a day or two after that round-up of Jim and me. I got tt ihlnkln 'bout It, and it begun to look; kind of queer to me. too; so I up and asks Jim." "Well, why was it?" asked the im patient Bill. "Oh. Jim. ho used to have a girl in Pittsburg and he was afraid if he made a good speech the papers would get hold of it and tell all about It and maybe get his picture in. Jim always wa3 kind of bashful, you know." "Is that all of the story?" Gunny asked. "Ya-as. Only when we got back here I kind of thought I'd like to be prose cutin' atorney for this county, but Jim he just tore his shirt tryin to have mo beat." "What for? Want it himself?" Bill asked. ; "Naw, Jim don't know nothln boufc ilaw." "Did he beat you?" "Sure, he told the boys about me and the old lady and' the Judge. That de 1 teat kind of took all the ambition td ' be a lawyer out of me. somehow." only to the men and women who Think and Feel. To possess a beautiful volco you must be Genuine. God is good, there is no devil but fear, nothing can harm us, the Universe la planned for good! Ah! a new thought all life is one, and we are brothers to tha birds and trees. Our life 13 a necessary and Integral part of the Energy that turna the wheeling planets and holds the world in space. I think if I worked for a man I would work for him. I would not work for him a part of the time and the rest of tha time work against him. I would give am undivided service or none. If you work for a man, in heaven's name, work for him! What think you the earth will be like when the majority of men and women in It learn that to be simple and honest and true Is the part of wisdom, and that to work for Love and Beauty Is the high est good. . It is ridiculous to suppose that a youth can shut himself away from the actual world of men, women and things. In a college for a few years and then coma forth and direct morals In the way of life. Even the proudest women are wlIHng"to accept orders when the time is ripe; and I am fully convinced that to be domi neered over iy the right man Is a thing all good women warmly desire. The soul grows by leaps and bounds, by throes and throbs. A flash! and a glory stands revealed for which j'ou have been blindly groping through the years. To hoe all' the time slants the brow. If; all men hoed a little, no man would have to hoe all the time. Let us all hoe a little. The fallow years are as good as tha years of plenty the silent Winter pre pares the soil for Spring. A man of genius conceives things; st man of talent carries them forward to. completion. To know how to write correctly Is noth ing you must know something worth re cording. Things work by antithesis; If your disci pline is too severe, you get no discipline at all. Art Is the mintage of tnespul. Health Is potential power. " jnqnarcnies, ime repuoucs, are ungrate ful. 'Every good thing Is lovedUinta.lifa.
