The Sunday Oregonian., February 26, 1905, Page 4, Image 4

THE SUNDAY OEEGONIAK, PORTLAND, FEBKtJABY 28, 1905.
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EAND. SUNDAY, FEB. 26, 1805.
hi'OKTH SEA INQUIRY DECISION,
efforts of the North Sea Com-
rcners to lormuiate a decision
should not "cast any disrespect"
use the exact words of the transla
n) on either party to the proceeding.
y seem to have stretched their com
ion sonse and logic to the limit. The
k'iar rircumstances may be recalled
a-ftitment. British fishermen were
Ur.dE their trade in a aanc nignt. on
i-ecogri.iZed fiBhlng grounds in the North
Sea, some forty to fifty miles off the
common path from the Baltic to the
Straits of Dover. Their presence and
occupation were proved by the custom-
rv lights. The majority of the Com
irlsslon declare that in their opinion
no torpe3o-boats were either among the
fishnig-boats or In their vicinity. The
Russian fleet passed close to the fishing
smacks, and without warning or In
qulry opened Are and continued firing
on them. The result was that two of
thA fishermen were killed, one boat
sunk, other men wounded and boats
damaged. So close were the search
lights of the war vessels that some of
the fishermen deposed to being In their
full glare and yet the firing was con
tinued until the battleships, pressing on
their course, had passed away Into the
darkress. So reckless, was the firing
that one or more of the Russian ships
suffered .from the cannonade of their
comrades.
So the Commission declares, exclud
ing the Russian Commissioner, that
Admiral Rojestvensky was not justified
in opening fire. But, say the Commls-
unanimously, the Russian Ad-
could jiiiianally, from
pre
Jrltlsh
expense, and
Totlung remains except to note the es
tablishment of another precedent jus
tifying the abuse of neutrals by bellig
erents in time of war. Some compen
sation will, of course, be made to the
families of the dead and for injury to
the wounded, and for the destruction of
property. Possibly the British people
will not rush with as much eagerness
into future arbitration when their peo
ple have been killed and their rights
trodden on. But Tar has been averted,
and that will cover a multitude of
sins.
REGULATE THE BILLBOARDS.
Rail as we may against the unslghtll-
ness of billboards, we cannot remove
them entirely. They are with us to
slay, So long as owners of vacant lots
and buildings with "dead walls" have
more cupidity than civic pride and ac
tive merchants wish to push business
among a populace wno can nest oe
reached through street advertisements,
the nuisance will flourish. The only
places in America safeguarded against
the vandalism of the billposter are our
public parks. Here, at least, we are
not offended by vulgar commercialism.
But the evil may easily be reduced.
By municipal statute Portland can reg
elate the height and the length of these
open-air pictorial dreadfuls. Blllpost-
Ir.g has a quasi standing in .the busi
ness world, but, like the porcine mer
chant who misuses the sidewalk, It is a
Bla891scBlssBs8i9lBSSBSssssssssssssssBf
SHssssBsBHHssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssrra
BtasssssssssssssssssllsssssssssssssssssssssssssWis-
HssssBisssssssssssssssssssaHilHPT
SSSSSSBSSSSSSSISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS W
trespasser. It must be curbed. It will
not be permitted without restriction to
Invade Inviting residential districts to
their tHsflgurement.
Just now Portland Is considerably
worked up over the matter. A genuine
spirit of reform is In the air. There Is
no public demand for more billboards,
and wide dissatisfaction Is voiced over
the especially offensive ones that have
been forced on the community. Disre
gard, of the universal protest against
this nuisance may be met with a li
cense fee which will tax billposters out
of existence; therefore, It will be best
for property-ownerB and paste-daubers
to submit to reasonable regulation.
"A RELIGIOUS AWAKENING."
Early in the present year a wave of
religious enthusiasm struck the little
principality of Wales and for a time
carried all before it. The undercurrent
was speedily felt in the north of Eng
land, and even the surface of the great
City of London was for a time agitated
by its partially-spent force. Yet a lit
tle longer and it reached our own At
lantic seaboard, and, starting Inland,
struck Schenectady, N. Y., with the re
sult that the "Electric City," so called.
Justified. ltB name by flashing into a
sudden glow of enthusiasm. A genuine
old-fashioned revival of religion fol
lowed, minus, it is said, of some of the
more hysterical features that belonged
to the campmeetlng and circuit-riding
era, among which shouting, handshak
ing, embracing and wild exhortation
were conspicuous.
Another long leap and Denver was
struck, and again there was quick re
sponse. That there was need of a great
awakening of conscience in the Rocky
Mountain metropolis cannot be doubt
ed, -unless the reports that have come
from there during recent months are
wholly discredited. Be this as it may,
under the direction of Dr. J. Wilbur
Chapman, who will soon be due in this"
city on like purpose intent, the meet
ings grew in interest until on one week
day early in the present month 400 busi
ness-houses closed their doors, 35,000
persons crowded into places of worship
in answer to a proclamation of the
Mayor, and the State Legislature ad
journed for the day.
Theorists are at work attempting to
give an explanation in the light of hu
man experience for this sudden Im
pulse or stirring of the human emotions
by which thousands have been touched
and moved In "Widely separated cities.
It is the common view that great relig
ious awakenings are co-ordinate with,
or follow closely upon, periods of finan
cial depression or panics in the busi
ness world. So long, it is said, as the
country Is prosperous and Its Inhabi
tants do not lack In material comforts,
their thoughts feed on things temporal
rather than things spiritual. When
trouble comes and the social and eco
nomic foundations are disturbed or
threatened, men turn for consolation
and assurance toward things which
material disaster cannot reach. Tn
other words, as Public Opinion says,
"the prodigal returns not from the joys
of riotous living, but from the husks of
the swlneyard."
From this bald and somewhat cynical
theory the conditions attending the
present religious awakening plainly dis
sent. Men are turning to religion in a
time of great material prosperity.
What then,? The journal above quoted
makes answer as follows:
The cause of general religious revivals Is
any condition or set of conditions that -will
create uncertainty as to the foundations upon
which society superficially relies; It may b.
and very often Is. a business panic, but ivc
may dismiss the suggestion that man turns to
religion simply as a consolation for material
failure. "What man wants 1 truth something
upon which he may rely -with full confidence
and the greater hli reason for Immediate un
certainty, the greater his efforts to discover
the ultlmates. So, at the present, we are
strikingly involved In large changes which
we cannot fully understand. We are pro'
pcrous; we are In the full enjoyment of many
Intellectual as well as material blessings. But
the processes of change are making us feel In
eecurc we cannot see -whither we are going
Industrially, politically, socially. The unusual
rapidity of the motion In the various depart
ments of active life is tho greater reason -why
-wo desire a sure compass and a safe chart.
"We are uncertain about the meaning of
things; hence we arc prepared for the mos
cage of religion. Bravado mi.y lash the helm
In defiant ignorance. Sane intelligence will
seek the truth.
That "sane intelligence" in due time
asserts its sway and the masses who
are stirred by "conditions of great un
certainty" recover their mental poise.
Is one of the facts of human experl-
History repeats itself along these
lines as well as upon the events of the
material world. "Time rules us all,"
d events work out In their own way
uncertainties that vex and annoy.
irehenslon gives place again to a
ig of security and the world wags
before until the next "religious
:ening."
tland has not been without its ex
ce In this line. without any
effort of memory the emotional
lent Into which many of Its clti-
Re thrown by the work of Evan
Part wmi thlrfv-flva f fArtv
fLgo may be recalled. Edward
n Hammond came later, and the
eating rink was crowded to suffo-
fe many a sultry midsummer night
teeekers." Evangelists, including
Moody, Alexander Dowle, "Jack"
the boy preacher, and others
or less renowned for their power
"move the people" through song and
exhortation, have come and passed with
the years. The wave is again setting
this way, and upon its crest rides Dr.
Chapman earnest, voluble, persua
sive. A great religious awakening is
presagea. Jiiinisiers ana laymen are
working for it, systematically and per
slstently. That It will follow along fa
miliar lines cannot be doubted, both in
the flow and the ebb of the great tide of
human emotions upon which Its move
ment depends.
BOYCOTT IN LOVE AFFAIRS.
Love laughs at tariffs and boycotts,
but even love may be forced to laugh
on the wrong side of its mouth by con
certed action. According to -the Ar
lington Appeal, and In dealing with
such a momentous matter th editor
would hardly Indulge In surmise or lend
the weight of print to mere rumor,
some such struggle between love and
organized repression Is going on in
Umatilla County. "Girls at Weston,"
says the Appeal, "will boycott the
young men who keep company with the
girls who attend the Normal. The
home girls claim the interlopers have
gobbled up all the marriageable young
men of that city." The boycott, of
course, will be of no more effect than a
vaudeville slapstick In the case of the
young man who is "keeping steady
company." He boycotts himself. He
tries to forget that there Is more than
one girl In the world. As regards the
butterfly lads of Y.rcston, things will
be different. They -will feel the force of
organized reprisals, and a lonely lot will
be theirs when the Normal Is deserted
for vacations.
Women .have always been protection
ists. When one of the "heathen gods
or goddesses" became enamored of a
mortal, the mortal got It In the neck
from the jealous partner. Io was turned
Into a heifer by Zeus, who thus hoped
to baffle the revengeful mistress of his
Olympian household. Cain made him
self "Impossible" by taking a wife from
the land of Nod. The Tape of the Sa
bine maidens was possible only because
there were no Roman women to boy
cott the men who married the captives.
The American girl who goes abroad as
the Duchess of Rockyboro Is looked
upon with small favor by the girls who
had contemplated with satisfaction the
effect of a title of their own. There
would be nothing strange, therefore. In
a display of resentment by home-dwelling
girls who had seen strangers within
their gates monopolize the attention of
the young men, drink the soda of fel
lowship, consume the Ice cream, snug
gle into the buggies, take all the dances
and receive all the tokens of admira
tion that are so dear to the heart of
ingenuous girlhood. It may be that
concerted action will cause the young
men to pause before it is too late, and
they are all engaged to girls from the
distant counties of Harney or Lake.
But If they still persist In Ignoring the
girls with whom
A year ago, and blithely paired.
Their rough-and-tumble play they shared
jthere is still hope for the boycotters.
Let them also become trespassers.
Thanks to a kindly Legislature, there
Is more than one Normal. Let the girls
of Weston attend the school at Drain,
and make bond-servants of the young-
men In the district. It is a poor rule
that will not work In both Yreston and
Drain.
GRAND DUCHESS ELIZABETH.
The Grand Duchess Elizabeth, widow
of Sergius, Is a conspicuous example Of
the quiet submission to her fate of a
high-spirited woman of much sensibil
lty and rare culture. A Princess of
Hesse-Darmstadt, born of an English
mother (the second daughter of Queen
Victoria), trained and confirmed in the
Lutheran faith, beautiful and highly
accomplished, she married while yet
quite young the imperious Grand Duke
Sergius, the most dominating and im
nerious of the "big sons of Alexander
n." She stipulated, as did the wife of
Grand Duke Vladimir, also a German
Princess, that she was to retain the re
llgion in which she was reared, unless
of her own free will, through conviction
and conscience, she became willing to
accept-the tenets of the Greek orthodox
church of Imperial Russia. This privi
lege was, however, withdrawn very
early In her married life, and she was
subjected to such persecution, slights
and Indignities by the court and church
officials of Russia, and treated with
such open and flagrant brutality by her
husband that she Anally yielded the
point, joined the Greek Church and
proclaimed her own religion "accursed,"
according to requirement.
During this period of her troubled life
she sought sympathy and advice from
her grandmother. Queen Victoria, hop
Ing that she would be counseled to a
separation from Sergius and be given
an asylum in England. The Queen,
however, with her well-known disap
proval of divorce, advised her perse
cuted grand-daughter to return to Rus
sla and conform to its customs. This
she did, and that she has learned the
lesson of submission and endurance
well has been attested by her uncom
plaining life and. strict adherence to
Russian customs ever since.
In view of what she has suffered at
his hands and the indignities that he
heaped upon her through his gross in
fidelities, the world may well believe
that the emotion of the Grand Duchess
when required to kiss the dead body of
her husband during the obsequies was
due to horror 'and disgust rather than
grief. She acquitted herself of this last
revolting service, however, heroically,
and may now consider the martyrdom
of her marriage at an end. The Grand
Duchess Is beloved by the people of
Russia as much as Grand Duke Sergius
was hated. She has long been associ
ated with the Red Cross and with other
gentle charities, having taken her first
lessons In this work when a child In
Darmstadt under the tutelage of her
mother, who was noted for her prac
tical efforts for the relief of the poor,
and especially of the soldiers' wives,
who bore such heavy burdens during
the war which resulted in the unifi
cation of Germany. The Grand Duch
ess is forty years of age, and, though
she has bidden good-by to youth, is
still a beautiful woman, with many
possibilities for usefulness, and. It may
be hoped, some for happiness yet in
store.
ABNORMALLY OLD CHILDREN.
Dr. Maxwell, Superintendent of
Schools In New York, has published
facts carefully planned from observa
tion, and statistics as carefully com
piled, which show that from twenty
five to fifty per cent of the boys and
girls in the public schools of that city
are from two to six years too old for
the classes In which they are being
taught. In his opinion this fact Is the
most serious one that confronts the
school authorities and presents an ab
normal condition for which a -remedy
should speedily be found. In the mean
time he has ordered all the principals
of the schools in which there are dull
and undeveloped children to organize
special classes for their Instruction.
Specifically, it is stated that thou
sands of children between the ages of
nine and fourteen years are found In
classes with children of six years. 'This
Is a condition which works evil to both
classes, since it compels association In
school life that Is nbt profitable to
either. The crowding of the lower
classes by dull children, who from one
cause or another fall to be promoted,
necessarily forces the others on part
time, and. further adds to the number
of the "abnormally old."
Dr. Maxwell's statement has been
taken quite seriously, as It deserves to
be, by the press of New York. He says
and the newspapers generally agree
with him that every other problem
with which the school authorities are
confronted Is insignificant as compared
with the problem Involved In the ages
of abnormally old children. One thing
Is apparent. The public school curric
ulum cannot be adjusted to the pace of
the minority. As stated by the Brook
lyn Eagle:
That the bright should rot be kept back in
their work by the dullness of the less for
tunate is plain enough, but that the dull should
be kept at tholr tasks in extra hours Is a mat
ter in which physicians shonld have a word.
Mental strain may be as damaging an the
physical strain of athletics. Moreover, It Is
unfair to regard most of the backward pupils
as dull. Thousands of children have not the
time to give to their books that they should
have. They corao from poor homes, where they
are cblrged to bear their share of the burdens.
where they must sweep, wash. cook, run er
rands and care for smaller children, while
tholr parents toil in the sweatshops for the
prlco of bread. At rany rate. It is unfair to
assume that a majority of our children Is
dull because It cannot keep pace with a hard-
driven minority.
In our own city, the conditions of
which in this respect are. however, not
comparable with those of New York.
with Its large foreign population, pre
ventive effort has been made In ad
vance of any material difficulty In this
line. A plan or system has been elab
orated whereby the bright even ab
normally bright pupils can go for
ward as rapidly as they are able, or as
their parents will permit them to do,
while those leas quick In comprehension
or less1 strong physically can find their
places In the work and pass along
easily and naturally without undue
stress. The trouble with us seems to
be that our abnormally old pupils are
at the top Instead of the bottom of the
grades. Boys in knee breeches and lit
tle girls with flying curls crowd the
High School and learn parrot-like les
sons In the sciences, which It is Idle to
suppose their minds are capable of as
similating and retaining. The problem
of properly placing abnormally old chil
dren In school -work, whether viewed
from the one standpoint or the other, Is,
therefore, it must be admitted, a per
plexing one.
ON GROWING OLD GRACEFULLY.
No thanks are due to Dr. Osier for the
almost brutal way In. which he forces
people of 40 or over either to agree with
or differ from him on the proposition
that at 40 we mustget ready to let go
and at 60 retire as gracefully as we
may from the world's work. Some of
us honed that he riad been mlsre-
ported, hut, now that he repeats his
blows, It Is up to us to take stock of
our contemporaries, and of ourselves.
In Industrial, or rather In factory, life.
Dr. Osier is in the fashion. Until now
it has been felt that experience and
the ease that it brings In handling men
and machines overset the brightness
and spring of youth when the manage
ment of large enterprises and many
men was In question. Maturity was
supposed to add value to men as well
as to "wine. But twentieth century
Ideas run In other grooves. When all
Is specialized in industrial "affairs and
for every operation a "new machine Is
invented of almost automatic efficiency,
and the men attend the machines and
supply them instead of the machines
assisting the work of the men, it fol
lows that the whole scheme of industry-
may be. and Is reconsidered. So the
readiness of the young to adopt new
methods, their enthusiasm, their teach
ability, fits them to get all there Is out
of the new conditions of Industrial life.
And all who overpass Dr. Osier's stand
ards must. It seems, resign themselves
to this replacement. But then the abil
ity to do things does not make the total
of life. The men and women most fit
for action, fortunately, do not- const!
tute the world, though they may domi
nate IL
In this twentieth century eight hours
seem' to be by common consent the
day's work. This is but one-third of
the day. What about the other two
thirds, in which the claims of the most
vital parts of men find their opportu
nlty? For, after all, we are meant to
work to live, not to live to work. There
Is an element of selfishness in the as
sertlons of the young that the world
revolves around them. The very activ
ities In which they have ttelr being
tenc? to engross and so to Tlpilt their
outlook. Yet so strong Is this doctrine
of the world for the young that In
thinking of It we forget the very point
of consolation for those who are pass
Ing the milestones marking, the middle
years of average life. There Is, in spite
of Dr. Osier and his adherents, no such
thing as absolute age. Those who
know thel? Pickwick as intimately as
they should will recall Sam Weller's
eulogy on his mastei"BIes3 him, his
soul was born twenty years after his
body!"
Some folks, and those the best-loved
of their time, have the happy faculty
of holding their own with -their souls,
even when limbs stiffen a little, and the
run Is exchanged for the walk, the hair
whitens, and the pursuits of the con
tcmplatlve life begin to loom up above
the urgencies of the active life. What
charming companions they are, at home
and abroad! The ripeness and mellow
ness of Autumn are as beautiful as the
early greens of Spring, and the heats
of the Summer world. Competition
with the young Is far from their
thought, and -they are willing to stand
by and give full and fair play to the
coming generation, taking pleasure in
the sight of their activities and pride
in their power to do.
To grow old willingly and gracefully
Is an art to be studied, especially when
the fortieth birthday has come and
gone. It Is one thing, however, calmly
to resign oneself to and to make the
best of the Inevitable, and quite an
other thing to seek an excuse for a lazy
life. Against this last thops whose
years admonish them should heartily
fight. To grow old by necessity 4s our
common lot; not to give up to growing
old postpones the evil day of inability
to enjoy.
LOSS BT DEATH'S BELAY.
William McGee, said to be the only
survivor of the Custer massacre. Is on
trial for murder In New York, with an
excellent prospect for ending an excit
ing life In a convict cell or the electrical
chair. Here Is an Illustration which
might serve to prove that there are oc
casional cases when the world and the
Individual most concerned would be a
gainer had the-age limit of Dr. Osier
been enforced. But as a rule, with few
exceptions, it Is the individual, and not
society as a whole, that would be the
gainer by the removal when man
reached his prime. William McGee, by
murdering a man in a quarrel over a
trivial matter, proved himself to be a
poorly balanced old man with vicious
tendencies, and nothing of the heroic
to relieve them. And yet, had WHllam
McGee, the Indian fighter, gone down
to his death with Custer In that awful
massacre on the Little Big Horn River,
the world would have paid homage to
his memory, as It always will to that or
the gallant Custer and his band of he
roes who perished on that bloody field.
The world's history from the begin
ning of time presents numerous Illus
trations where men who had scaled
"the starry heights ot fame" slipped
back into obscurityr poverty and not
Infrequently disgrace, simply because
death failed to reach them In time to
save their position. William McGee, In
escaping the fate of his comrades, lived
too long, but it Is a certainty that
among that gallant band butchered by
Sitting Bull were others for whom fate
had something better in store than a
murderer's doom. The world of Htera-
ture, science, art and polltlce-can never
even approximate its less by the Civil
War, but unquestionably thousands of
Americans with talents that In later
life would" have enabled them to reach
high places were sacrificed on the altar
of their country. Sleeping their last
sleep throughout the sunny Southland
are thousands of young men, the flower
of the Nation, and their passing from
life Just at a time when they were be
ginning to master its mysteries In a de
gree retarded the Intellectual develop
ment of the country for a generation.
There were undoubtedly William Mc
Gees among both the blue and the gray
who are "waiting the call of the judg
ment day," but It would be a harsh re
flection on the thousands of others to
advance the theory that, the world as
well as themselves was a gainer by
their early demise There can be found
today criminals, vagabonds and miscel
laneous nonentities within age limits of
fifteen to ninety. There are also to be
found plenty of men In all walks of
life who have failed to get even a
foothold on prosperity's pathway until
they were well past sixty, just as there
are others who have taken high rank
before they reached the age of forty:
There are rules that cannot be proven
by the exceptions, and one of them is
that which assumes that all men are so
nearly equal that a horizontal age limit
establishing their degree of usefulness
will be sufficiently fair to warrant Its
enforcement. This Is a matter that can
be gauged only by the Individual, and
not by the people as a whole.
William McGee would cut a much
better figure as a dead hero than as a
live murderer, and It is a matter of re
gret that he did not remain with his
comrades on the Little Big Horn thirty
years ago. We must quite naturally
assume that Dr. Osier is speaking from
experience, and there will accordingly
be no great protest If he applies the
chloroform bottle and thus prevents the
cruel world from referring to him as
"that old 'has-been,' Dr. Osier." There
Is a growing disposition to hold the In
dividual responsible for his acts, and
because William McGee. after reaching
a certain age, became a murderer and
Dr. Osier an ass, society In general
must not be held accountable because
they were not killed off earlier In life.
No State Fair will be held in 1905, but
the annual appropriation will be used
for the construction of buildings and
the making of such permanent Improve
ments as may be needed. To the an
nual appropriation of $10,000 the Legis
lature added $5000, and all of this sum
can be used In putting the State Fair
grounds In good condition. The Marlon
County delegation, which always looks
after the Interests of the Fair, even
though It Is not a local institution, dis
played good judgment In making this
arrangement for the present year, for
It promotes harmony and good feeling,
and will prove most advantageous to
all concerned. It Is very doubtful
whether the State Fair could have been
made a success in 1&05, for the reason
that no county exhibits would be made.
The several counties are putting forth
great efforts to make a good showing
at the Lewis and Clark Fair, and could
not have undertaken work at the State
Fair at the same time. So far as at
tendance i3 concerned, it Is not proba
ble that the State Fair would have in
terfered in any way with the Lewis and
Clark Exposition, but the holding ot
two fairs In one year would mean a di
vision of effort that could not be pro
ductive of good.
Wars may come and wars may go.
but the Mad Mullah goes on forever.
A dispatch from Aden states that thl3
angry gentleman from Somaliland Is
again on the warpath, and has killed a
number of the Sultan of Obdla's follow
ers, and Is within a day's march of Ob-
dla. It's a poor season when the Mad
Mullah is not captured or killed a few
times, and if his life were subject to the
same limitations as that of the ordi
nary cat that Is credited with but nine
lives, he would have long since passed
from the minds of the present genera
tion. If some of his numerous captors
would hang on to him long enough to
make if worth while, they could amass
a colossal fortune by taking him down
the vaudeville circuit.
Dr. Osier would cut a man off as a
cumberer of the ground when he Is
forty. Other men who claim to be sci
entists say there is no reason why a
man should not live to be 150. Between
these two extremes lies the golden
mean which the -majority dC men, aided
by kind Nature, find. To die before one
In forty Is to curtail life's possibilities
and enjoyments in a measure that It Is
not pleasant to contemplate. To live
beyond eighty or ninety Is to survive
all, or nearly all, the friends whose as
sociation made existence worthy to be
called life on the journey to the sum
mit. Tracklaylng on the Arlington branch
of the O. R. & N. Is proceeding with a
rush, and a National bank for Condon,
at the interior- end of the track, has
been organized for business. Settlers
are pouring into the country, and new
buildings springing up all along the
line. The activity noticeable along this
branch la no greater than that which
will bo in evidence In Central Oregon,
In the Wallowa country. In the Neha
lem and In a number of other isolated
localities as soon as they are given
transportation facilities for reaching
the outside markets.
Mr. Richard Croker has decided to
leave America to Its fate, and will here
after reside On his country estate near
Dublin. He will thus escape the oft
recurring inquiry as to where the
money came from, and If Ireland can
stand It New York may as well make
the best of It. The ex-Tammany leader
might form an alliance with William
Wadorf Astor. as they have much In
common, neither of them being missed
from this country nor welcomed In the
land they now claim as home.
It is probably just as well for the
blockade-runners that they were all
gathered In by the Japanese. The de
cision regarding the North Sea Incident
establishes quite clearly the fact that
no craft Is safe within reach of the
Russian, guns, and the Vladivostok
squadron would most certainly have
mistaken the blockade-runners for Jap
anese torpedo-boats, men-of-war or
transports, and served them with the
same greeting as was given the Dogger
Bank fishermen.
The Washington papers which are
complaining about the treatment of
their state by the Lewis and Clark
Commission will perhaps cease when
they learn that they owe much to the
consideration and good-will of an expo
sition management which has given
Washington a fine location for Its bulld-
ing at no little trouble aria sacrifice.
WOES OF A DRAMATIC CRITIC.
These be .times of perii for tho
dramatic critic, as the Metcalfe inci
dent bears witness. -The resolutions
committee of a National convention of
theatrical managers -would probably
report back this plank for the plat
form: Resolved. That dramatic critics
should be shot without benefit of
olergy.'
It is almost a certainty that the
plank would be adopted with a Whoop,
and. If the syndicate werqj In posses
sion of all branches of the Govern
ment, the critics would supply a car
nival of carnage equal to the "Red Sun
day" In St. Petersburg. It would seem.
that even managers and critics might
live together in peace and unity, but
recent occurrences prove the contrary.
At the present time one of the fore
most writers on dramatic subjects in
this country. James S. Metcalfe, of
Life, Is refused admission to 17
New York theaters, which practically
bars him from every prayhouse in Man
hattan.
Metcalfe has incurred the displeas
ure of Klaw & Erlanger, and, as these
gentlemen are in the scats of the
mighty, they retaliate by stopping him
at the theater door.
Acton Davies, of the Sun, one
the ablest and most entertaining re
viewers In the metropolis, Is likewise
shut out of the Klaw & Erlanger
houses, and although the late Hilary
Bell has been dead more than two
years. hl3 paper, the Press, is black
listed. Alan Dale,, of the Journal, finds
no welcome ut any of the syndicate
houses. In fact, he cannot get In for
love nor money, and Dale Is commonly
supposed to be Charles Frohman's press
agent, Frohman being a lending mem
ber of the trust.
Even William Winter, dean of Amer
ican critics and the most learned, has
been subjected to the humiliation of
closed doors. A year ago he was re
fused admission to two or three New
York theaters. During the Nance
O'Nell engagement Davies and Alan
Dale were barred from Daly's. but
when the unfortunate engagement ter
minated the embargo was raised.
This suggests a story of the bitter
quarrel between William Winter and
Augustin Daly, "which occurred some
18 years ago, and was. afterwards hcalca.
The two great men fell out over
sonic caustic articles Winter had writ
ten, and the manager Issued orders
that Winter was no longer persona
grata at the stagedoor. The great
critic was not denied admission to the
front of the house, but whereas he had
always been cordially received at the
back of the stage, he was io be pun
ished by exclusion.
Now. In thoso days Daly had a stage
doorkeeper who Is still remembered as
a unique character. He was known as
"Old Owen." No one ever hoard his
other name, and he was faithful to Mr.
Daly with the fidelity of a dog. One
day the great manager instructed Old
Owen that If William Winter cume to
the atagc door he was to be refused
admission.
Promptly on the accustomed hour.
Winter showed up with the intention
of going "behind," and was politely
but firmly told that he could not go In.
The lordly sage of the Tribune waved
Old Owen Imperiously asides and pushed
hl3 way In. The old retainer was not
to be undone, so he followed Mr. Win
ter and laid a heavy hand on his
shoulder, saying that Mr. Daly hud
ordered that William Winter should not
be admitted. The pressure of the door
keeper's hand set the critic on fire and
he landed a blow on the faithful Owen's
features. Now, It should be under
stood that Mr. Winter is a little man
and Owen was a giant; so the big
doorkeeper promptly picked the Tri
bune representative up in his arms and
threw him on the floor. A wrestle
ensued which created sufficient disturb
ance to attract the attention of Daly,
who came running back to learn the
reason, no was amazeu at tne signt
he saw and sot about extricating the
entwined arms and legs, after which
he led Mr. Winter to the door and out
onto Sixth avenue. For years there
after tho two men did notjspoak, but
before Daly's death they rruido it up
and were the best of friends.
There was a time within recent years
when William Winter was forbidden en
trance to the front of tho house at Daly's.
This was after Daniel Frohman secured
the historic theater, and the occasion was
Maude Adams' attempt at "Juliet." Mr.
Winter sat In a box. and during the first
performance tore his hair and expressed
his quiet disapproval of Miss Adams in
the part. Ho endured It until the third
act. when he got up and stalked out of
the theater In disgust. The next morn
ing the Tribune printed his critique of the
piece under the caption, "A Very Sad
Affair," and Miss Adams was mercilessly
scored. During the remainder of that
engagement It was understood that Wil
liam Winter need not apply.
Tho lot of tho dramatic critic is not al
together pleasant, even under the most
favorable of circumstances. Perform
ances, good, bad and Indifferent, ho must
patiently sit through. Between acts the
house manager or the company manager
take turns at telling him what a fine fel
low he is, and Incidentally volunteering
the Information that his notjeo on the
following morning will mean success or
failure for the engagement. They insist
that "Maggie Lovelock," the leading lady,
Is suffering from sore throat, and Is not
singing In her usual form, but "If you
could have heard her at South Yakima
last night you'd have been delighted.
However, you understand how to make
allowances, old man" and so ad Infini
tum. When the critic tells what he thinks
In the next morning's paper, he finds
that none Is so poor as to do him rev
erence. If he praises the performance,
the public accuses him of being bought
up, and If he grills the show, the public
accuses him of being sore because the
"second lady" wouldn't go out to supper
with him. As for the managers, so long
as there is praise for their offerings here
is nothing more than matter of course,
but when the harpoon enters there goes
up a wall, long and loud, upon which the
unfortunate critic cannot close his ring
ing care. Sometimes follow recriminations
and red. red war. ending In locked thea
ter doors and locked newspaper forms.
Such conditions do not exist locally
parish the thought but in most localities
there Is a heartfelt sympathy on the part
of dramatic reviewers for Metcalfe and the
other New York craftsmen who are out of
favor with the benevolent managers. The
managers told them they were fine fel
lows on opening night, and they ungrate
fully told the truth the next day. There
fore, wherefore "You scurrilous scribblers
for a venal press, yon must not contamin
ate the virgin atmosphere of our theaters
with your presence." All of which leads
up to the everlasting and unanswered
query: "If a man Is willing to pay the
price, shall he see the show?"
A. A G.
K0TE AND COMMENT.
The Collector.
O all you foreign nations, come and hearken
unto me.
And I'll show you all the pathway to a brim
ming treasures.
Since Uncle Sam In Nlaety-eight waltzed up
Manila Bay
He's got an all-posrcraing erase to ray and
pay and pay.
He's making a collection of your Islands, groat
and small.
And bring they gain or bring they loss, re
doesn't care at all.
So if you've got an Utand.
Kwampy land or. dry land, ,
Low land or hl?h land.
I'ut It up for sale;
Uncle fcam will huy it.
Never asU to try U.
But pay you on the nail.
He started bU collection with some choice
Pacific Isles
In the scattered archipelago where the 0!o-
wleldcr smiles.
He picked up for a bagatelle that lone Guam'
the chico.
And rounded out that set of islss by getting
Porto Rico.
And now he's in the market for islands great
and small.
Or even bits of continents, he doesn't Oat
at all.
The boss ot San Domingo
Called Uncle Sara the Grtnjfs,
And now that land, by jinso.
Is a half-protectorate.
And then he has the promise
Of the Danish Isle St. Thomas.
Jut the thing to make a million
aire's estate.
But whon the Islands all are bought, from Eng
land to Ceylon.
The coHtlnen's will atlll remain, though smaller
gam6 is gone.
Alaska came by purchase, and if China dees
the sume.
It wlH be a ralr extension of the ialand-pur-
chae game.
So ail you fonslgji nations, join the scllfirs ie
their crush.
And 411 your homeo right early, if you would,
avoid the rush.
Kor Unelc Sam is dying
To be buying-and a-buyinp. .
And to have his Hag a-flvinji
Over all the land there is;
He Is out to buy anu buy land.
Ue It continent or Island.
Xo matter how the- market mij
have ris.
".Memoirs of a Rat" and "The Auto
biography of a Dog' arc two books thai
have Just been published by the Mac
millan Company. We may soon expect
"Reminiscences of a Worm," "Rumina
tions of a Cow." and "Travels of a
Flea'
"Among the many girts nc showered
on his bride was an automobile." says
a story in the Philadelphia Bulletin.
Just think of being out in a shower of
autbs.
Love Is not always blind. A i?ort
lander Is chasing a wife who has
skipped with a cross-.yed man.
There is a certain amount of humor
In the notice pasted on the safe of the
Albina Fuel Company, "Save your time;
no money In this safe. " How disgusted
the burglars must have seen when they
discovered by Investigation tho truth
of tho placard. But why not have a
pane of glass In edch safe used in
Portland? The robbers could then sat
isfy themselves that there was no coin
inside and tho owners would be saved
the expense of repairs.
The Hon. Something French Is now a
private in the United States Army. If
the fashion spreads, barrack-rooms will
become something of a society resort,
and the little sisters r the billionaires
will be "walking out" with Private jtba .
Earl of Entail and Trooper the MarquJs
of Nodough. The regiments most af
fected by the peers and heirs to peer
ages will be represented In every en
gagement. Five Admirals, after grave delibera
tions upon the North Sea Incident, came
be said upon both side."
Some jocular dramatic critic recently
announced that Frohman had decided'
to dramatize one of Shakespeare's
plays. The jest has a grain of truth in
Its satire, for "The School for Scan
dal" has been turned Into a musical
affair called "Lady Teazle" and "She
Stoops to Conquer" has been made over'
into "The Two Roses," another musical
thlngamajig. There Is no apparent
reason why some of Shakepcare's plays
should not be deftly worked Into
musical comedies.
Buffalo Bill's divorce casG pursues the
laughing tenor ot Its way. A young wo
man who figures prominently In Mrs.
Cody's accusations 13 described by the
bibulous scout as a lady press agent. HI3
enemies Insinuate, however, that most of
the press work was done when Buffalo
Bill had his arm around the agent's
waist.
An exchange says that the Swedish town
of Hafanger Is about to Impose, a gradu
ated tax upon all persons weighing more
than 1C0 pounds. As if a fat man or a fat
woman didn't have troubles cnoush al
ready. A Kansas City paper refers to the pro
posed oil refinery as the reflhatentiary,
and says: "There la nothing absurd ia
the proposition that the addition of a
$10,000 building In which to board 16 6r 30
convicts to a $200,000 refinery, with a work
ing capital of $200,000, makes the whole a.
penitentiary." Rut this Is wrote sarcas
tic. Chicago's Alimony Club certainly has an
apt motto In "United wo stand; divided
wc stand It better." After all. alimony;
Is a fixed amount that cannot be In
creased; but how different With house
hold expenses.
From the Kansas City Weekly Journal
of February 16:
K. H. When will the Lewis and Clark Ex
position open, and what -will be the nature
of the Exposition?
A. I have not seen the date announced. It
will be of the same general nature as the
Chicago and St. Louis Expositions.
An anti-gambling bill has been stolen
from the Missouri Legislature. Appar
ently Oregon hasn't, all the smooth ones.
Interference by the Chief of Police pre
vented a pleasant social affair tfiat had
been planned In Olympia. It was to have
been a fancy dress ball, pajamas being
the fancy dress. Truly the life of the
lcglrlator la dull and colorless; and the
police tako It upon themselves to make
things worse by preventing the quiet re
laxations that mean so much to the over
worked man.
Portland has passed arf ordinance against ex
pectorating In public places. She should have
borrowed Seattle-'s; It doesn't appear to' h
working. Seattle Argus.
There is no need for alarm. Portland's
ordinance joins Seattle's In the realm of.
innocuous 'desuetude.
Portland got a peep Into Spring's blua
eyes yesterday.
"WEXFORD JONES.
I