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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 29, 1905)
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PORTLAND, SUNDAY, JANUARY 29, 1903. ENCELADUS UNDER AETNA. The outbreak In Russia is not a revo lution, because the soldlera in the great centers, drawn from distant parts of the empire, do not sympathize with the people who protest against the despot Ism, and at the word of command therefore are ready to Are. But for the vast extension of the Russian empire, during centuries past, through which outside peoples in great numbers have been brought under the control of the central government, and now In turn eupply a force of coercion for. central population, which hitherto has been ex. erted by the central population over them, there would be no doubt of the success of the revolutionary protest. As It is, the revolution must wait How long, no. one can conjecture. In so mighty an empire, composed mostly of people fit only for servitude, it will take a long time for the leaven of free dom to leaven the lump. It may be hundreds of years yet, therefore, "until Russia can become a free country, with a public and popular spirit, working out its way through parliamentary or representative government In the tide of human affairs in Russia, there is something akin to or comparable with geologic movements and eras In the physical history of the planet. The human cataclysm is in operation In Russia; yet no one can foresee when Its fierce fires will have burned out, or under what conditions it will obtain repose. Yet we must believe that the cause of human liberty, in spite of these checks, obstacles and difficulties, will get forward. It Is old history. The spirit of freedom, now trodden down, will still live. In all ages men have seen liberty desperately wounded; they have seen her foes gather around her and bind her to the stake; they have seen them give her ashes to the winds, But, as If to mock their exultation, she has risen again like an avenger upon them, clad in complete steel, bearing In her right hand a flaming sword red with Insufferable light. So now, the spirit of liberty, crushed today In Rus sia, will rise again; for there, as else where, the eternal years are hers What time can be required none can tell one century, two centuries, five centuries, with agony and blood at every stage of the proceeding. For Na ture, in her movements, scarcely reck ons time, never counts the cost. But the blood shed in the cause of freedom is not lost. Byron's drama, "Marino ailero, and historical tragedy of Venice, is little read. -Here, however. is one of its powerful passages: They never fall who die In a great cause; the block may soak their gore; Their heads may sodden In the sun; their limbs Be strung to city gates and castle walls But still their spirit walks abroad. Though year Elapse, and others share as dark a doom. They but augment the deep and sweeping thoughts Which overpower all others, and conduct The world at last to freedom. Russia now. In her career of aggres sivc despotism, has encountered a na tion on her remote frontier that is able to give her a check. The splendid ef fort of Japan throws the conflict In Russia back on Itself, and may hasten the Inevitable. That Japan Is fight lng the battle of freedom in Russia Is apparent. Japan, acting as an inter nal force, will hasten the Internal con flict In Russia. But the mass of Rus sla Is mighty and immobile, and the conditions are not yet ripe for revolu tlon. The "circulation" of the coun try is too Imperfect and 6low. But it will be quickened yet. Enceladus Is turning under Aetna. "SO ir CIVETH HIS BELOVED SLEEP." The gift of sleep: Daily recurring, It is as needful to us as food or air. Un like food, tho harder it is labored for the poorer the results. When Lord Rosebery, the English statesman, and a great favorite personally, suffered from sleep lessness some years ago, he published his thanks on his recovers' to his un known correspondents who had deluged him with recipes. Among the old wives' fables that were sent him were a few remedies which he advised others to try who were In similar doleful case. The first was. breathing deeply and thinking of each breath, but above all breathing slowly. The next time one lies awake, slumber far from one's eye lids, it is worth while to remember this and put it to trial. Generally, about ten to fifteen long breaths will be all of which consciousness remains. If this loses its power, try a cup of ot, very hot, cocoa or chocolate, with milk, just as you lie down in bed. If you fancy mental remedies, count the sheep pass ing through the gate one by one. Often about & hundred so Imagined will send you off for good. Or. In the dim light of the bedroom, fix your eyes on a spot on the ceiling above your head and watch it before long your eyeilds will J be tired and close in sleep. ' 1 Some people keep some old rhymes J and verses In a back chamber of their I brains, ready for such an emergency. slowly to recall and say over to one's self. If worry is the enemy, then byJ some means turn the current of your thoughts. Try some of these sugges tions, but if none succeeds then cease fighting in bed for the sleep that will not come to you, get up, wake yourself thoroughly, try cold water inside and out, then seek your bed once more. and you may perhaps bless these recol lections and experiences of a poor sleeper. ONE REFORM UNDER WAY. The House at Salem has passed the Newell bill providing a more humane system for transportation of Insane per sons to the State Asylum. It requires In brief that custody of the unfortu nate insane, who may be ordered committed to the asylum, shall be turned over at the county seat to a trained attendant sent from Salem. The old method has been and is to keep an insane person in the County Jail until the Sheriff Is ready to make the trip to Jhfi capital. When he goes, he charges all the traffic will bear. He may or may not understand the humane method of caring for his charge, and the Journey, if long, may be. probably will be. one of very great hardship. It ought to require no argument to convince any one that the considerate and proper way to take a demented woman to the asylum is to place her In the keeping of a sym pathetic and experienced female atten dant; nor is an insane man entitled to less consideration at the hands of a careful and patient male escort. The question of expense is not all- important, but it ought to be consid ered even in a matter of this kind. Secretary of State Dunbar's report shows that it costs $220 to convey one insane person from Harney County to Salem, and $33.80 from Baker. From Salem the thrifty Sheriff draws down $S for taking one patient from the Courthouse to the asylum, a distance of two miles, with a connecting electric line whereon the fare Is the moderate sum of 5 cents. The time occupied for this 'service Is perhaps two hours. If the superintendent of the asylum were to be permitted to send for this pa tient, the total actual outlay would be 15 cents, plus the time occupied in going and coming. The graft in this one branch of the state service, and the reasons for maintaining it, are so obvious that they do not need again to be stated by The Oregonian. There has long been a crying and recognized need for re form, but there has been no reform. because the Sheriffs were able to pre vent it Four years ago, the bill passed the Senate by a large vote, but by one of those subtle and effective moves which the practical politician so well knows how to make, it never reached a vote In the House. Now a similar mea sure has gone through the House by an overwhelming vote. The genuine humanitarians who have been success ful in carrying the measure so far will no doubt be able to Impress on the Senate the importance of early and favorable action. REPRESENTATIVES OR DELEGATES? The Industry of the two houses of the Oregon legislature is marked by the introduction of 474 bills. Of these twenty-nine bills have passed both Sen ate and House, and eight bills have been signed by the Governor. The com mittees are hard at work, and the slaughter of the innocents proceeds at a rapid rate. A bill for enabling future Legislators to submit to their future colleagues bills they Intended to pre sent has been judiciously killed, and it certainly seems as Ifvarious others might be similarly disposed of. The knotty questions of whether or not divers institutions should be created or enlarged, and how much of the public funds should go to their support, re mains to be solved. Certainly these matters are directly within the pro vince of the Legislators and nothing ap proaching dictation to them should be suggested. And yet there are general principles which can properly be put forward as guides. The decision as to whether or not a certain bill should be supported or op posed depends on the point of the com pass from which it Is approached. It may well be if as a delegate, yes if as a representative, no. Oregon, and not Its components parts, is to .be heard and studied In Its Legislative Assem bly. .Many a member is supported for election because his neighbors think him able to win votes for and to carry- some local measure in which they con sider the prosperity of their district is at stake. To that extent then he is their delegate. "When he arrives in Salem his first step Is to test the ground, meet his fel lows, and ascertain the chances for his pet measure. He finds that alone he will fall, by combination with others he may win. He thinks himself Justi fied, and he Is, in pressing his views on his colleagues. Almost all these local measures have merit, more or less, and with an unlimited treasury and no com parison with others, might pass with some profit and little Injury to the state. So far the delegate. The next step, however, enters de batable ground. The member finds his powers of persuasion unequal to win ning enough support. So he seeks for weapons of compulsion. He leaves the advocacy of his own bill to find out what pet measures his neighbors have in -hand. Then comes the crisis for him between right and wrong. He is tempt ed not to submit his neighbors' bills to the test of his own judgment and con science whether the passage of their bills and of his would benefit the state at large, but to put all the bills together and with a united push to drive them through. Now there may be yet another stage in the delegates progress. Another temptation may beset him. He may know in his soul that all these bills ought not to pass, but. for the sake of his people at home, and to justify the faith they have in him. he Is In danger of sinking the representative in the delegate and of Joining the combine "Whether these trite and obvious sug gestions apply to any members of the present Legislature Is not now in ques tion. It is not asserted, for final action has not been taken on the vast major ity of measures, and time and events will tell the tale. But it is sure that the true representative, awake to the interests of our common state, know ing that the whole is greater than the part, feeling his responsibility to Ore eon in accord with his oath, will let .the large and -rot the minor cocsldera- ' ail children oh the farm are encour UonE turn his vote j aged to attend- during the school sca- Of course, ii Is hard to run the risk on his return of being faced with th? charge of failure to upheld the local measure to the successful end. But the true representative will run this rirk. knowing that as Oregon grows and de velops on all sides the responsibility of her Legislators grows as welL A WEAK MONARCH AVTI H1R VAltHA'. I mi,, v, : , -it., tt t..v 1 in the great stress that has come upon the government comports with the gen erally accepted estimate of his charac ter as a man and a sovereign. Mild, generous by nature, with a mind re sponsive to the demands of justice, he is lacking in the sterner elements of character that distinguished the earlier .Romanoffs, abhors the cruelties in which they delighted, and turns with almost womanish repugnance from the sight of bloodshed. "We may well be lieve that this man has been monarch of Russia but In name; that he'has been held in subjection to the Imperious will of his mother and constantly hampered by the schemings of his uncles, the Grand Dukes Vladimir and Sergius. The Empress-mother, though a daughter of placid and peaceful King Christian of Denmark, has grown In later years to be a very tigress in subtlety and fury- Imperious, implaca ble, haughty and dominating, she has dominated not only her son, the Em peror, but has ruled his court and household. Inflicting many indignities and much humiliation upon the amia ble, cultured, high-spirited young Czar ina. Her special grievance at the lat ter was that she failed so long to bring an heir to the throne, and when finally a son was born to Nicholas the Empress-mother took the boy under her special supervision, Ignoring, as far as possible. In all public functions, the mother of the child. If anything were wanting to prove Nicholas a weakling previous to this outbreak, the fact that he permitted his mother to rule his wife in this man ner would have furnished it. His utter collapse in the presence of the grave dangers and responsibilities of empire was a thing to be expected of a man who so signally failed to rule his own house wisely and justly. The Dowager Empress, who is said to sway her son against his wife and hl3 conscience, was Princess Dagmar of Denmark, a younger sister of Queen Alexandra of England. She was be trothed in early youth to Nicholas, Czarewlts of Russia, who died at Nice in 165. She soon consoled herself with his brother Alexander, the father of the present Czar.- During her long resi dence at the Imperial court of the Ro manoffs, she has become thoroughly Russianized, and Is today one of the most unbending of the autocrats that live close to the throne. The Czarina is Princess Alix of Hesse-Darmstadt, the youngest daugh ter of Princess Alice of England and Louis, late Grand Duke of Hesse. Known in her childhood's home as Princess "Sunshine," she is a gentle woman of bright and even brilliant mind, and many graces of character. She very reluctantly became the bride of Nicholas, having no taste for Rus sian forms and customs and objecting strenuously to the change required in her religious faith in order that she might become Empress of "Holy Rus sia." Her- objections, though not her misgivings, were overcome, however, and she was married to the Czar some ten years ago with great pomp and circumstance. She is the mother of five children four daughters the eldest of whom is said to be a child of almost phenomenal intelligence, and a son who was born a few months ago. These comprise the immediate family of the Czar, who are likely to be con strained to seek safety by flight to Co penhagen All, with the exception of the Dowager Empress, are entitled to the sympathy of the world in the great stress that has come upon them. Nicholas is a weakling. It remains to be seen whether. In his weakness, he will not be more fortunate in keeping a place in the hearts of loyal Russians than will be the Imperious Grand Dukes of the Empire, who are grimly deter mined to fight for the throne while he is anxious to fly. A FARM AS AN INSTITUTION. Colonel James M. Smith, of Smith sonla, Ga., is scheduled by a writer in the World's "Work as one of the few millionaires who have won their wealth by farming; few, for the reason that "men are rare who can make a farm an institution." This man. who is practically a class by himself, began with a farm of about G3 acres, near Athens, Ga., in 1S66. His first year's crop was two bales of cotton and fifty bushels of corn. He now owns 23.000 acres of land, much of which is timber and pasturage, and his crop last year consisted of 3000 bales of cotton, 25,000 bushels of corn, 12,000 bushels of wheat. 15,000 bushels of oats, COOO bushels of cow pease, 6000 bushels of sweet pota toes, 10,000 bushels of turnips and 500 tons of hay and forage. A peculiarity of Colonel Smith's methods is found in his faculty of util izing the labor at hand to a certain extent, by eschewing machinery and keeping his hands busy all the year round. For example, as stated by this chronicler, one sometimes sees forty women and children blacks, of course flailing seed from Amber cane when two men and a machine could do the work just as well In much less time. His wheat Is cut with the old-fashioned scythe and cradle Instead of the mod ern reaper. The reason is simple. No machine has been Invented that can successfully pick cotton, and an abun dance of negro laborers must be kept on call for the cotton picking. Hence these old-fashioned methods are em ployed to keep his laborers at hand for picking time. In the Interval he must keep them busy, since upon this depends discipline, health and cheer fulness, without which satisfactory work on the farm is Impossible. Here is a man who has solved for himself and to his profit the negro question In the South. His laborers are among the happiest and freest in this country, and yet they are like the ante-bellum slaves In their dependence upon their employer. He directs their work with fatherly kindness, keeps them busy, and provides them with comfortable homes and clothing. Un der this treatment the negroes remain his tenants for years and are devoted to his Interests. As contrasted with the disastrous at tempt to. inject the negro bodily Into political life, and to throw him a grown-up child upon his own respon slbllity. industrially, the method of Colonel Smith appeals to humanity, good judgment and commercial sagac ity. Recognizing the fact that condi tions change, he provides schools which son. Tn-? growth from cepencence to t independence is slow with the individ ucl of any race. "With the negro It is particularly so. The necessary ele ments of this crowih are provided vjhen .a people willing, cheerful, affectionate and anxious to please are kept busy and comfortable and furnished instruc- ftlon in schools as fast as they can ab- EOrb Mi assimilate It. A sufficient number of fanners In the South, to have covered its arable area with their holdings and turned Its waste" places into productive farms by means of the labor at hand, at the close of the war, would long ago have put the meddlesome politician out of business in that section and taken the negro question out of the catalogue of puzzles that vex the brain7 of the social scientist and the Industrial philosopher. Colonel James M. Smith, of Georgia, doubtless won his military title in the service of the Confederacy; but Na ture made his title clear to the com mon sense that enabled him to "wrest prosperity from devastation" and to solve within the circle of his agricul tural activities the negro question upon the broad and sure basis of Industrial growth. A CHARACTER OF CONTRADICTIONS. With the death of Louise Michel, one of the most noted anarchists of later years passed from earth. Her strong, somewhat masculine features have been familiar to the public of two continents for some years, and the ceaseless activ ity of her life as against the existing order of things is a matter of common knowledge. "Worshiped by the enemies of law and order;, feared by the civil authorities, as she pursued her errant course; beloved by the poor and suf fering among whom her lot was fre quently cast, she fought the battles of anarchy on the lecture platform, in the streets and in books and pamphlets for a generation. She maintained the hold acquired by her aggressive speech and sympathetic acts up to the close of her long- life, and died sincerely lamented by the group of anarchists-who make Paris the source of their propaganda. In spite of the instinctive aversion that arises at the mention of her name, there were many admirable points in the character of Louise Michel. Her devotion to the sick and wounded in the Franco-German- "War, her love of children, her sympathy with the struggles of the poor, her per sonal bravery In the presence of dan ger, are elements that stand to her credit. Against these lower darkly the fierce Invective by which she incited riot and her unbending enmity to es tablished rules of government. The contradictions in the character and career of this woman are depicted by the Brooklyn Standard-Union as follows: Too much, of a woman to be a great anar chist, for women are conservative by Instinct; too much an anarch Ift to be a good woman. Loulw) Michel was an anomolr, a contradic tion; a type to furnish speculation to scien tists of the Lombeoso school; a type to be pitied by the sreat majority, who hold, despite Xiombeoeo, that environment has more to da with the development of character than the bumps In one's skull. "Whlttler, kindest and gentlest of New England poets, yet often sternly just In his arraignment of wrong, says of the contradictory elements In the charac ter of a woman who found a place In his great "Winter Idyl, "Snow Bound": The outward, wayward life we see The hidden springs we may not know. It is not ours to separate The tangled skein of will and fate To chow what meted and bounds should stand Upon the foul's debatablo land. And between choice and Providence Divide the circle of events. This is at least a convenient form of philosophy to apply to a character that Is by Nature so contradictory as to be a puzzle practically unsolvable. The sanitary measures that have made yellojy fever a scourge of the past in New Orleans, Memphis and other cities of the South, and that, ex tended with such satisfactory results to Cuba, are to be vigorously urged this disease fit Panama. Reports that it had Invaded the Canal Zone were quickly followed by the inquiry of san itary scientists, and stringent measures were taken looking to its elimination before the Influx of canal laborers. A force of men Is engaged in extermina ting mosquitoes, the most industrious servants of Yellow Jack, and It Is be lieved that these carriers will be ef fectually put out of business before Spring. Next to the mosquito, or, per haps, his co-equal in the dissemination of this disease, is filth, and, strange as it may appear, it is easier to extermi nate the hordes of these busy germ- carriers than It Is to make the people de stroy the hotbeds of rottenness wherein these germs multiply. Yet difficult as are these tasks. Governor Davis, of the Canal Zone, closes a recent report on the subject with the assurance that everything is being done to stamp out the disease that sanitarians desire to do or have proposed to do. This rep resents the forces of peace at war with a subtle enemy of human life and presages what a few years ago would have been deemed an impossible vie too. Nature having failed thus far to pro vide a successor to Queen "Wllhelmina of Holland, the sagacious Dutch bur ghers have devised a scheme whereby the hope of Emperor "William to place a German Prince on the throne of the Netherlands, when the time comes, will be thwarted. This successor Is to be chosen by an elective method, on the tenth anniversary of the Queen's mar riace. providing she has no child by that time If later an hett is born, the elector chosen will be installed Prime Minister. The young Queen, the daugh ter of an old roue who was in his dotage when she was born, is far from robust. She is married to a German Prince of coarse Instincts and uncon genial habits, and the Interests of the Netherlands are not likely to suffer by the lack of an heir, since the "futurity stakes" under such conditions do not constitute a promising venture. Un der such circumstances the wisdom of selecting a successor to the throne from material already on hand Is apparent. Kuropatkin has at this juncture more than military conditions to regard. A serious defeat would in all probability have graver consequences at home than in Manchuria, and the sudden activity of Russians and Japanese at this time, especially in view of the continued cold weather. Is very significant Corre spondents variously attribute the re sumption of hostilities to Russia's de sire to distract the attention of the masses from domestic affairs and to Japan's desire to test the feelings of the Russian troops in the field. Disaf fection does not seem to have spread to the Russian army. Naturally trained. soldiers, fighting the, battles bf their country -on its uttermost "frontier, and face to face with a foe of another race. are less likely to rebel against the established order of things than are workmen, pinched by the distress this very war occasions, and exposed to the Inflammatory influence of socialistic and anarchistic workers. "Whether or not the present fighting develops Into a pitched battle of the first magnitude, it Is evident that even a temporary vic tory means much to the prestige of either side at this time. A measure in the Interest of decency and humanity is the House bill known as Bailey's male-consort bill. It pro vides as far as may be adequate pun ishment for that lowest and most ut terly contemptible of all criminals the man who lives off of the earnings of fallen women, fitly characterized by the author of the bill as "the most vicious parasite which afflicts mankind." The bill carries a penalty of from one to three years in the penitentiary, and we may well believe that the Judges before whom conviction Is secured un der this law will not be slow to des ignate the maximum term in cases where the human parasite lives off the wages of sin earned by his wife at his instigation, or whose victim Is a young woman at whose downfalf he connived for this purpose. It may be added that the bill passed the House without a dissenting voice, and there is no rea son to suppose that it will not meet with equally unqualified Indorsement in the Senate. Monrovia, the capital of the only republic in Africa, is not a place that can afford much In, the way of distrac tion from business cares, and this prob ably accounts for the incessant activity of the American Consular official there in preparing reports on various features of trade with that part of the Dark Continent. A recent report urges Amer ican shoe manufacturers to turn their attention to Liberia, where "the trade yields large profits, American $1.50 and 52 shoes selling at 54.50," truly a pleas ant margin for the Importer. "With this information comes a note on the ex ports of palm oil, all of it going to Germany and Great Britain. The oil is used In Liberia for cooking and making soap, and In Europe for mak ing candles, soap and glycerin. An other article of export from Liberia is ivory, of which the exportation "has been much impaired by tribal wars and feuds." As shown by the final report of the Department of Agriculture for the year, the farm value of the crops of 1904 was $2,734,863,702, exclusive of the cotton crop. This Is the largest yield in values on record. The yield of wheat was less by 95,000,000 bushels than in 1903, but the value of the crop was greater by 567,000,000, because of the higher market price. The comparison between the yields in staple crop3, cotr ton excluded, for the years 1903-1904. is shown by the following table, which accompanies the final report of the department: ISM Bush. 1903 Bush. Corn 2,4S7.4S0,93i Winter wheat.... 32.935.345 Spring wheat 219.-J54.in Oats SSi.535.552 Barley 139.74S.SSX Rye 27.234.5C Buckwheat 15.00S.338 2.244.176.923 393.S67.250 784.094.199 131.S61.33l 29,363.415 14.Z43.M4 Flaxseed 23.400,o34 Potatoes 332.830,300 Hay (tons) C0.O6.0S Tobacco (pounds) 660,460,733 27.300.510 247.127.S30 61.305.9W 815,972.423 The Oregonian reprints today an im mease variety of comment from news papers throughout the United States on its great New Year's issue and the Lewis and Clark Fair. No similar'cdi tlon of any Pacific Coast newspaper was ever so widely and favorably no ticed; and no enterprise, such as our proposed Exposition, ever received so much gratuitous advertising. A vast number of letters, too, have been re ceived, expressing satisfaction with and admiration for The Orcgonian's Annual, and the complete manner in which it presented the beauties and wonders of the Exposition. All persons who are Interested in the success of the Fair and they include everybody In Oregon will find both profit and instruction by turning to pages 34, 35, 36 nnd 37 of to day's issue. Apparently Luther Burbank is not the only wizard of the vegetable world, a young Frenchman having found a method of changing radishes Into pota toes. The- radish Is captured In its in fancy, confined in a glass retort and fed on a concentrated solution of glu cose. Starch develops in the cells of the radish. It swells but and acquires the flavor and food value of the less pungent potato. The discoverer of this educational process does not point out what good results may be expected from training radishes to be potatoes, so the matter remains at present of In terest to scientists alone. How can initiative and referendum be in danger from a constitutional con vention, when the constitution itself Is Initiative and referendum? It is initia ted by the people or by their represen tatives, and must be referred to the people for their approval or rejection A constitutional convention Is the very essence and quintessence of initiative and referendum. Men may be for or against a constitutional convention, for good reasons, but they needn't talk absurdly saying that in order to pre serve initiative and referendum it is necessary to deny the first principles of it. "Emotional Insanity" is an especially useful defense in many cases, as the Insanity presumably departs with the emotion which brought it on. Hitherto the one objection to insanity as a de fense has been the possibility that a defendant, acquitted of a charge, might yet be confined as a lunatic "With the success of "emotional Insanity," as pre sented by the fair defendant in the J. Hat. HItchings case, a run upon this convenient defense may be ex pected throughout the state. Success of her arms in the Far East at this 'Juncture will be of immense value to Russia. This seems to be at last promised. If the promise is even partially or temporarily fulfilled, the re volt against the government will speed ily become a closed incident and the power of aulacracy will be strength ened by the recent clamor of the popu lace and- the bloodshed at the palace gates. Emperor "William's proposal for the exchange of German and American col lege .professors will undoubtedly be fa vored on this side, on the chance of getting some of the Chicago University faculty out of the country. An open river, an open Sunday and an open door for Oregon. K0T'A!C1 COMMENT! By this time Lawyer Hltchln'gs must have a fellow-feeling for whipped cream. A Belllngham girl ran away to become an actress. She should have reflected on the number of boys -that run away to be come pirates and on the small proportion that gets as far as tho wharf. One of Pennsylvania's "W. C T. U. or ganizations deprecates the strong lan guage used by women. Such horrifying expressions as "My Lord!" and "Good Heavens!" are said to fall from ruby lips with increasing frequency. But. fudge! What's the use of talking. It's Impossible to get a woman to come out and swear like a man when she's mad. If wo had to preach a sermon that would scare the careless ones into the fold, we would describe the after-world as con sisting of two flats. The upper flat would be heaven and the lower, helL The In mates of the lower flat would have to listen night and day to the strumming of the harps up topside and to the rumble of ecstatic millions prancing about on the ceiling overhead. The Pugnacious Woman. (A woman was acquitted of a charge of assault yesterday, having set up the de fense of "emotional Insanity.") When a women ups and hits you in the eye. However you may feel, display urbanity; Should ahe throw you (down and jump upon your lace, ' Tou never, never should employ profanity. Tour assailant very likely has a .warm and tender heart. But suffers from emotional Insanity. So humor all her whimsies, to whatever length they go. It's a duty that you owe to your humanity; To duck her swings and scratches, or to cut away and run. Were proceedings that would savor of lm raanlty. So accept thla proffered hunch, and let her swing and punch. It's a symptom of emotional insanity. Just grin that's if she'll Jet you and turn me other cneeK. Nor deem this good advice but Inanity. For should you try to struggle, or to have your puncher pinched. You'll find recourse to law Is simply vanity. As a Jury has no choice but to say with single velec. She's not guilty Just emotional Insanity. Russia's Grand Dukes are not all "blind mouths." Sergius is enterprising enough to make public a story attributing the trouble in Russia's "midst" to England. and pointing out that England had also caused the great strike of coal miners in Germany, so that the Baltic fleet would have no fuel to carry it on to glorious victory in the Orient. This particular Grand Duke need not fear a revolution. If he has to skip from Russia ho can always make a living as -a. reporter on the London Dally Mall or the New York Journal. An international peace dance is the lat est London idea. It should be a success. if there is not too much fighting over invitations. Professor: Do you study Milton? Student: I can't read "Paradise Lo3t," but I like the poems he wrote in Eng lish. Where Do the Spooks Go? There's one thing that I haven't found. No matter how I've tried When someone turns the light on quick. Where do the ghoctscs hide? At night-time when I'm tucked in bed. The room is full of dark. The -window- does not shine at all. Not just the littlest spark. That's when the spooks come 'round my bed, I feel ttiem all about; I'm awful hard to scare, but then I shout and shout and shout. Then mother comes, right in the dark. And says there's nothing there. And turns the light on. and there's not A spook left anywhere. I know that some were theretofore. Right close up by my side.' But when the light was turned on quick. Where did those ghostses hide? It looks like discrimination against the dives, this opening of the Fair on Sun days. Many a member of the Senate will have the proud moment of hj3 own election re called by the little speech of Sam Piles at Olympla about "being the servant of the people." That's a phrase which, like the measles, breaks out early in pollt leal life, and Is almost as easy to recover from. A motor car has crossed the Andes. The pedestrian has been driven from his last stronghold. That was a highly logical argument for the reduction of the tariff on Philippine sugar, namely,, that none would -be Im ported. " After beginning a movement to swap professors with Germany, couldn't it be expanded into having the American uni versities over there and the German uni versities la America? Funny how the ordinary man laughs at Smoot's belief in revelations and then goes out to bet on a hunch. The Chicago Post devote3 a column to the discussion of "Woman's Place in tho Home." "Well, In the first place but It's no use to go further. That's where woman is. and always will be. Very fittingly, the National Editorial As sociation will be entertained in Oklahoma next year by Joe" Miller. In thi3 country the "deceased wife's sla ter" lacKs tho distinction she has in England and France. There is constant warfare over the deceased wife's sister in both these countries, and the man anx lous to marry a d- w. s. meets with the greatest obstacles. This seems a very foolish attitude on the part of the French and English, for if a widower wants to marry again, who could be more likely to please him than one of his former angel's family? Trained by the same mother, wjfle the second would be sure to make the same kind of biscuits as "wlfle the flrst, and would probably be, to a large extent, similar In disposition. Besides, It Is only natural that It a widower knows ha mustn't marry his d. w. s. that he will set his heart upon doing so. A present of pink silk hose figures prom inently In a ?ew Xork divorce case. "Who' a thought such things were worn, ex- .cept in comic opera? WEXFORD JONES One Way to Kill Off Coyotes. Spray Courier. The local sheepmen have made an agreement with an experienced trapper to pay him 52.75 for coyote scalps, and they hope by so doing to rid their ranges of these destructive animals. Each sheep raiser pays in proportion to the number of sheep he owns. If the sheepmen ia other sections would adopt similar meth ods. coyotes would soon be as scarce as deer and other native animals that were once so numerous. HOQR TOO ItOXG DEFERRED. .; Morning Olympian. More shame to us. It has fallen to a " newspaper outside this state, the Portland Oregonian. to come forward with the sug gestion that while we are honoring- cur great dead with monuments we should not forget one, the preservation of who3e memory Is pre-eminently entitled to our flrst and best thoughts General Isaac In galls Stevens. Hero of Cartreras, Cher- ubusco and Chapultepec. flrst territorial Governor and organizer of our civil gov ernment. Indian fighter, treaty-maker the medium of peace between the pioneer and the Indian, the man who died on a Vir ginia road hard by the old Fairfax home of George Washington: died representing Washington territory in that never-tobe- forgottan time when the nation's Ufa trembled in tho balance, a hero of heroes Isaac I. Stevenr. Tho Oregonian's suggestion is made to the Legislature. Now, then, since a statue of Governor Rog ers has been erected in Olympla. will the Legislature of Washington permit a further suggestion? Will it not make provision for a statuo, to be placed in the Capitol grounds; Of Isaac Ingalls Stevens, first Governor of Wah- ington. patriot and soldier Washington's su premely eminent man? One of tho finest monuments in the United States marks the little plot of ground whert Washington's patriot, sol dier and hero lies buried, but it is on the other side of the continent in a Rhode Island town that had. no Interest In him save admiration for his deeds of valor. Here, on the ground that has flrst claim upon him, the ground that he wrested from savage hordes and made tenable for the pioneers the now State of Washing tonthere is nothing to show that he, ever lived. A great state, whose civil govern ment he planned and put in motion, a land for which ho fought not only alqne on the battlefield but in the halls of Con gress, defending her boundaries against a foreign power and securing for her her flrst recognition by the Federal Govern ment; a state for which he Anally died miserably beside a rail fence In Virginia, has forgotten him save in naming "for him a county and a few mean streets in the clUes. Yet the state may not be reproached ex cept for its neglect, and for this there Is to be pleaded in mitigation the fact that in the rush and hurry of building a new state upon the foundations laid down by Governor Stevens, no' one thought of mon uments. There has been no intentional neglect: simply the people have been so intent upon building high things with elevators and rooms to let that they for got the man who made it possible. But now that the Ice has been broken In the building of the Rogers monument it is hoped that Isaac Stevens will be no long er neglected in Washington. Indeed, there are those who are now thinking on the subject. Lieutenant-Gov ernor Coon, a comrade in arms with Gen eral Stevens, full always of limitless and undying admiration of the man, the sol dier and the patriot Stevens, Is hoping for some mark of the passing of his hero. In yesterday's Tacoma Ledger we find this, sent from Olympia by that paper's correspondent: The Lieutenant-Governor wa3 always a great admirer of the late Governor Isaac I. Stevens. They fought In the same battle, and in the battle of Chantllly, in which Governor Stevens lost his life, ilr. Coon stood not a mile from the spot where Stevens fell. I hope that some day the State of Washington will be In a po sition to appropriate money for the erection of a monument, a fitting- monument, to that great ana good man. I .viae Ingalls Stevens. Said Mr. Coon to the Ledger recently: "Gov ernor Stevens, to my mind, was the greatest matt ever Identified with the state, then terri tory, of Washington, and as the yesrs come and go. the people of thla state will, more fully realize his great services to this country as statesman, soldier and scholar. The thought has often occurred to me that the state might do honor to the great territorial Governor by erecting a suitable monument, and that a slm liar honor might be accorded tho name aud deeds of Governor Elisha. Ferry." The Olympian is much mistaken in tho people of Washington if their immediate and hearty approval would not follow an appropriation to build a monument to their soldier hero. The Last Trek. (Verses on the burial of Paul Kruger. Writ ten by F. Edmund Garrett, late editor of the Cape Times.) Who comes, a sob of slow-breathed guna borne past In rolenin pageant? This Is he that threw Challenge to England. From the veldt he drew A strength that bade her sea-etrength pause, aghast. Before the bastions vast And Infinite redoubts of the Karoo. "Pass, friend!" who living were so stout a foe. tfnquelled. unwon. Not uncommlserate The British wntry at Van RIebeck's gate Salutes you, and as onco three years aso The crowd moves hunhed and slow. And silence holds the city desolate. The last long trek begins. Now something thrills Our English hearts, that, unconfessed and dim. Drew Dutch hearts north, that April day, with him Whose grave is hewn In the eternal hiila. The war of these two will Was as the warring of the Anakim. What might have been, had these two been at one? Or had the wise old peasant, wljr yet, Taught strength to mate with freedom and beget The true republic, nor. till sands had run. Gripped cIoe as Bible and gun The keys of power, like some fond amulet. He called to God for storm; and on his head Alas! not his alone the thunders fell. But not by his own text, who ill could spell. Nor In our shallow scales shall he be weighed. Whose dust. lapped round with lead. To shrill debate lies Inaccessible. Bred up to beard the lion, youth and man He towered the great chief of a little folk. Till, once, the scarred old hunter missed his stroke And by the blue 2Iedlterranean Pined for some brackish pan." Far eouth. self-exiled, till the tired heart broke. Bear home your dead, sad burghers; nor recoil From English wreaths; for our posterity Shall praise his. stubborn worth, co-heirs made free Of Africa, like yours, by blood and toll. And proud that British soil. Which bore, received him. back In obiequy. OUT OF THE GINGER JAR. Farmer Well, George. I ven't seen yuu on that bicycle as you bought lately. George No. farmer. He beant no good to I. He can't find his way ome. and he won't carry cider. Punch. Edith Why. Reginald, where is your over coat? Reginald Er I had a bet with a rela tive on the election and he has the coat. Edith Oh, your uncle, I suppose. Philadelphia Bulletin. Gayboy Tou shouldn't complain, my dear. Before we were married I told you how bad I was. Mrs. Gayboy Yes, but you didn't tU me how much worse you were going to be after ward. Chicago Daily News; "What's the matter?" inquired Ascum. "What am you searching your pocket torV "X tied a knot In my handkerchief this morn ing," raid the absent-minded man. "to remind me of something I was to get for my wife. And now I can't find the handkerchief.' Philadelphia. Press. "Does your annual ralary never disturb yoaT asked the conscientious citizen. "Do you Xeel that you are giving the voters- any thing for your money?" "I confer." aid Senator Sorghum, "that I never thought about it In that light. I have been Interested In seeing whether the- voters could be persuaded to give me anything "-for my mcaV' Wash ington Star.