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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 1905)
THE SUNDAY 0REG0NLA2. PORTLAND, JANUARY 22, 1905.
The Story of
It 'Didn't Prove
TINKLETOWN was such a pleasant i
town that few of the Inhabitants
ever cared to leave It, even for a
short time. .Consequently, when a cit- ,
Izen did make a Journey occasionally
to a neighboring: city, the rest of Tin
kletown looked on him as a great and ;
adventurous traveler, and the popula
tion would gather at the town pump '
on his return to hear his tales.
One of the wisest of the citizens i
once made a, trip to sell hay and
grain, and he did not return to Tin
kletown again for three weeks. This
was the very longest Journey that
any of the town's lolk had ever made,
and you may be jure that all Tinkle
town was wildly excited when he ar
rived there again. "
That evening, at the town pump,
he said: v
"Dear fellow citizens. I am glad to
be at home again. Although 1 have-,
as you may say, seen a great deal of
the world, let me assure you that
there is no place on tnis wide earth
that Is so good as Tinkletown. 1 speak
from experience, for I have seen seven
cities, and -have traveled nearly 100
"Goodness!" said all the Tinkle
towners. " What risks you must have
"Yes, yes," said the returned ad
venturer, coughing modestly. "But
that is 'neither here nor there. The
point is that, although none of the
places I have seen have such beautiful
streets or such excellent houses or
sucn "t good town pump or such fine
citizens. ;nd cows, there is one thing
in which Tinkletown is really benlnd
the age, and it made me very much
ashamed." . j
uoodness'" said ail the Tlnkle
towners. "What can it be?" .
"It is a town Jail," said the traveled
citizen. "Even the smallest towns in
the outside world have Jails, and we
should certainly see to it that we have
"But we never needed one," said a
fat citizen, who was not considered'
so wise as the rest, although he would
have been considered marvelously
wise anywhere else.
"What difference does that make."
replied the burgomaster, "when it is
a question of a public Improvement?
A town jail we must have."
All the TInkletowners immediately
went home to ask their wives what
kind of a town Jail they would like.
When they met again, each man haJ
a different plan, so the burgomaster
had the happy Idea of taking a bit of
each man's plan and making a new
one that combined them all.
"But." said the citizens to the one
who had traveled, "what do you do
with a Jail1 after you have it?"
"Look people up In it," said the
e Adventures of the Crusoe Children
FOR six weekR the steam yacht
Stingarce had been cruising among
the islands of the Caribbean Sea.
She hailed from Boston, and her owner,
who was a wealthy resident of that
city, had planned a trip lasting .three
As passengers she carried his wife.
daughter and himself, a gentleman
and his wife from Chicago, a widow
from Philadelphia, and a single gen
tleman from Pittsburg. All these peo
ple were related to 'each other. The
only one outside, their circle was a
youth 14 years old named Charles Lee.
He was the son of an old friend of the
owner, and was invited as a guest.
The owner's daughter was named
Minnie. She was 12 years old and had
known Charles for a year or more. The
two had been attending the same gram
mar school In Boston.
The yacht carried a crew of 20 men,
and was rated as a stanch and well
found craft, and one able to weather
any sort of weather. On this trip she
had visited most of the Bahama
Islands, and spent a week at Porto
Rico, and finally made ready to voyage
farther south and take In the Wind
During the six weeks not an acci
dent of any sort had happened to mar
the pleasures of the voyage.
An hour before the Stingaree left the
Porto Rico harbor an old man came
down to the wharf and took a long
look at her. He was a Carib Indian,
and he was such a queer-looking old
man that he attracted attention at
once. By and by he began shaking his
head and muttering In Spanish and In
dian, and when some of the sailors on
tne yacht laughed at him. he grew
angry and pointed to the sky. seeming
anxious to warn them of danger. As no
on could understand him, a young
Spaniard finally came forward and ex
plained to the captain:
"What the old man is trying to tell
ou Is that there is going to be a hur
ricane, and that you should not leave
the harbor until It Is over."
"What does he know about It?" was
"IT WOULD BE AN AWrCL RISK, Birr NO OKEATKR THAN TO REMAIN
BY THE CRAFT."
the Model Jail
Comfortable for the Only Thief
TIIB THIEF BEFORE THE BURGOMASTER AT THE TOWX 1CMF.
"How . travel broadens
all the TInkletowners
"He knows everything."
"I think we should send a commit
tee to examine the other Jails and tell
us their faults so we can avoid them
in ours," sahl the burgomaster. Every
body agreed to this and the five wisest
men Were selected to .do it.
When they returned they said to the
other citizens: .
"Dear friends, we have examined the
matter carefully, and we have found
that the greatest complaint that is
made by the people of the different
towns. Is that their jails are over
crowded. They think that this Is be
cause thty are built too small in the
first place, but we have thought It
over and we have found the true rea
son: It Is too easy In those towns" for
people to get into Jail that Is why
they are crowded."
The TInkletowners were so wise that
Story of Castaways of the Caribean.
He Is a very old man, and knows -
Xo ne haS ever !
"But-thp u-Mlhor rr.ni.t..- ,ut '
of o J i. " i. t
.....lf ..u.j.luiic, icpueu ine ,
"That is true: but If the old man
says there is one coming, then all '
sailors who have tieard of him will be- '
lleve what he says." !
The owner of the yacht and all the '
passengers were ashore and did not j
see the old man or hear his predic-
Horn When thoy returned the captain
said nothing about It, and the engineer
was ordered to get up steam. Two
hours later the Stingaree was out of
the harbor and heading to the south.
The weather was mild and' pleasant,
and for five or six hours there were no
signs of a change.
' At 10 o'clock at night the wind began
to rise, and within an hour It was
piping away and rolling up a heavy
sea. The passengers went to bed as
usual, thinking It only a Summer gale,
but by midnight the seas were so
heavy that the yacht was tumbled
about like a cork and everybody
dressed and gathered in the main
" Soon it was plain to all that a hur
ricane had set in. For a while the yacht
ran before U. but after midnight she
had to be brought around with her
head to the wind, and though she kept
her engines working, everybody knew
that she -was rapidly drifting away
under nressure of the wind.
The seas broke over her so that
everything was battened down and
none of the passengers allowed on
deck, and at 2 o'clock In the "morning
even the stoutest-hearted sailor
aboard was ready to say that the Stin
garee was in dire peril.
From 2 o'clock to daylight no one
could move about the cabin, and the
creakings of the woodwork and the
scheechings of the gale created such
an uproar that speech was impossible.
When the sun came up. the wind lulled
a little and word was passed around
that the storm was over, but within
an hour the hurricane was blowing
with stronger force than ever.
It wae then that the captain in
formed the passengers that the en-
Who Entered It
they did not need further reports.
They set to work to "build their jail
at once, and to make sure that It
would not be too easy to get Into
it. thoy built It without any doors at
all. Tney made the walls quite solid,
and the light and air came In from
little holes near the very top and
through a big chimney.
"Now," said tney, when It was fin
ished, "we imagine that this jail will
not be over-crowded."
Soon the fame of Tinkletown's great
.'all spread throughout the land and
before long the thieves anil nlhar
knaves of the Grand Duchy of Brat-
wursi oegan to journey toward
Tinkletown because they thought that
the town would be easy prey.
But they were finely fooled.
When the Jail was finished the bur
gomaster said: "Now, in order to be
up to date, we must put a thief Into
it at once."
glnes showed slc-ns of trivia
!rrlble strain, and that If
. ". oroKe ana me btingaree fell
i unyini 17 nrOKo nl lha Cf I ,
" 7 7 . -
l"c irougn or the sea she
wouia De beaten to nieces bv th tr
mendcut. w,.va- i V!! y lhe tre"
Captalr and crew were helm. ,
do anything further, and could only
wait and hope. As the hours wore
slowly on the weather seemed to
grow worse instead of better, .and at
noon no one .aboard had any hope
that the yacht could live the afternoon
The passengers gathered together as
closely as they could and. took each
others hands and the women wept and
the men looked very solemn. At noon
tne engineer reported that his engines
would not be able to stand the strain
an hour longer, and the captain came
down Into the cabin and made the
people understand that there was but
one thing to be done. He would use
BT SARAH NOBLE IVES.
Illustrated by the Author.
There's , a new boy on our block.
"Huh! I Men him." said Dick.
What's h llrlnr over at Mrs. Connor's
for. I wonder?"
"Mebbe he's MlUy cousin or some
thing." Tddy pondered a minute. "Shs nerer
told me she had- cousin so near her are."
"Hra! I true&s she wasn't proud of him
with paats and loar curls. I'd like to poll
his hair and make h!m"juel."
"Lefs to and see what' he's dohx." said
Three hoo-m down the street the New
t J "Mt .
I -T t V I I
!1 x WHBaf
"But there are no thieves In Tinkle
town," said the citizen who was not
so wise as the rest.
The burgomaster scratched his head.
Then he cried:
-I have It! We will post a guard at
the city gate and catch the first thief
who arrives. ,
"Goodness:" said all the TInkle
towners. "How simple. Why could
we not all think -of that at oncer
The guard was posted at the gate
and. when the tlrst thief arrived, they
took ott their hats, .bowed and said:
"Welcome, good Blr. Are you a
Of course, the thief said "No!"
"Then we are tery sorry, good sir."
said the guard, "but we cannot let
you in. We are lookine- for a thlf
So they turned him away.
i met after thief was thus kept out,
until the Master Thief arrived. He
had met the other thieves and heard
their experience. So when he arrived
at the city gate of Tinkletown. and
the guard asked him. "Are you a
thlefT he answered, "Yes. indeed."
"Hurrah!" cried the guard, and es
corted him Immediately to the town
square, where the burgomaster wel
comed him in a fine speech and beg
ged him to. go ahead and steal all he
The master thief did not wait to be
asked twice, but immediately entered
ine nouses and gathered treasures.
When he had filled" a srreat batr with
gold and gems, he calmly walked to
the gate to leave the city. But, to
his indignation, the guard seized him
with loud cries. "A thief! A thief!"
and dragged him .before ' the burgo
master and the City Council at the
"How Is this?" cried the master
thief angrily. "Did you not tell me to
go ahead and steal?"
"Surely." said the burgomaster
"Then why do your men arrest me?"
asked the thief. .
"Why, my dear sir," replied the
burgomaster In surprise, "did you not
know that we have a new town Jail?
We told you to steal because we
needed a thief In It. and. of course, we
couldn't be sure you were a thief till
you stole something, could we?"
They led the ngry thief to the Jail,
and there the burgomaster
him to be imprisoned for three dajv. j
oiuwc lucre was no uoor to the- JaiL
they got a ladder and took him to
the roof and lowered him through the
chimnty. They lowered some bread
and water after him and went away.
On the fourth day the people of
Tinkletown gathered to . liberate the
thief, but they found that while it was
easy enough to let him down Into
the chimney, it was impossible to pull
So the good TInkletowners set to
work with crowbars and pickaxes to
break a hole Into the wall. They had
built the jail so honestly that It took
seven Jays to make the opening.
When th- thief came out, lie was only
skin and bones. He fled from Tinkle-
i u lesa cora carry
i:m. ana tnerearter no -thief ever
area to enttr ho riv nf k. ..i..
the three barrels of oil aboard the
yacht to smooth the waves as much as
possible, and then they must lower the
boats and get away In. them.
It would be an awful risk, but no
greater .than to remain by the craft
u sne broke down and the waves had
a c?.ance to pound at
a chance to pound at h
, nrl?Trl X Ah." fc
i wa ,nf nn ,,n a ..,'.'
i . - -r--t - n tiu lite Ull
! th ... if .r Vu? ?r""AVl
I - - ...... u.iuncu Ml uiijr iniu
V k'i waves,
almost at once from breaking, and the
! ai" ,w.erl aUe read' for launching.
- "C a IV j
was overcast, and It was ai.
most twilight, and had lnnrt hn I
within a mile of them the people
could not have made out the shore, j
(To be continued.) !
Some Negro Proverbs.
Coward man keep whole bone;.
cuDDitcn (covetous) fe one plum, you
iuac uc wuoie ouncn.
Cuss-cuss (calling names) bore hoi tn
no man a sun.
Evry day da flshin dav hut hrr .i,
to fe catch fish. J
Evry dotr know lilr.i iinnf
Follow fashion break monkey neck. (A
breaio"5 proverbially hard to
It Puzzled Helen.
"The Bull. After Paul Potter." read
Helen's mother from the catalogue at
the art exhibition, as they stood before a
copy of the famous painting.
Helen looked at the picture with inter-f"-
"Oh. yes." she said suddenly.
,7 SJHi' mn1 be Jaul Potter under
cUmo up?""0 wondr wh' h doesn't
Tchr aayi the world Is round.
And jet It looks real flat.
She sv It turns around like mad
Now will you think of that:
And that ain't all. for teacher tells
Ls some things queerer yet;
I'd tell them to you. only I
Somehow seem to arret.
A Dictionary Beast.
"Tou would. cald the ornlthorhynchuf
"A sort of bin! -creature think us;
For we've webs on our paws.
And a duck's bill for Jaws.
Tet we've hair, which to bt&ats utema to link
THE NEW BO
TWO BOTH JUST GRXNNBD AND LOOKED
Boy waa hoeing- In a flower bed. He wore
a big straw hat, and his back was turned,
so he did not se the boys a they swag
gered along and mounted the gate-posts
belonging to Mrs. Connor.
"HI. there. Bubby. what's your name"
called Teddy from his safe perch.
The New Boy did not .look up. He dropped
his hoe and took up a trowel and began
dicslnr a. hole.
"VVbere'a MUly. I wonder?" said Dick. -Say.
little boy, what you doln In that
The New Boy threw" up a trowelful of
earth, and some of It Just missed Dick,
who was nearest.
"Say. there. Don't you be sassy or m
com over and pull your nice, pretty curls."
The New Boy eta bulb In the hole he
The Queerest School in all the -World
It Is Full of Water mid Pupils Study at the Bottom of It
j SOMETIMES THE TOOLS "
THE queerest school in. the world is
in Portsmouth, England. The school
house Is a huge tank of boiler iron.
It is about 12 feet high, and is filled to the
brim with sea water. The pupils get their
lessons at the bottom of It.
This queer school is a school for divers
and the schoolmasters are officers of the
British navy. Divers are as necessary to
a modern naval vessel as sailors, and the
tars Who volunteer to learn rftvlnir rret
extra P3 a0 ere are always pupils
enouch to want tn rn Into that -watprx
The Iron schoolhouse has a gallery run
ning around the top, where men stand to
send air to the pupil, signal to him, teach
him to answer and watch his actions.
Down near the bottom of the tank are
square windows, so that officers can look
at every motion of the diver and see
whether or not he is doing his lessons
The first thing that he pupil has to
, study Is his curious clothlmr. which U nnt
rvATSY was giving
The guests consisted of four small boys
-Marshall Denton. Phllln "Rumn RoVlt
! Carter and Roland Martin. Of the first
three Patsy was very fond and spent a
great deal of time playing with them.
I either together or separately. They were
all under six years of age, and she never
i-uuiu unueraiajiu wny iue were so niye
and lovable at that age. and after that
grew teasy and rough and quite impos
Roland Martin she did not really care
for he was always in the way when she
wanted to play with Laura: but she had
made up her mind that she must try to
be good to him for .Laura's sake, and
after something of a struggle she had
asked him to her party.
The hour for the party was half-past
five, but at a quarter past Patsy had
found her guests sitting on the front
steps shivering, and so she had to ask
them in. although she wasn't really ready,
They were all scrubbed to a most glit
tering pink and whiteness. Roland Mar
tin was so dressed and so uncomfortable
that he was easy to. manage for once.
Patsy gave them )her picture game of
old maid to play with and began to shuf
fle and deal for them.
"Oh." said Philip Burn?, "you ought to
give me the cards. I n company.
Patsy laughed, handed him the pack
and disappeared to finish setting her tea
table in the library. Her mother had said
she might have the party on condition
that she would attend to everything ex
cept the actual cooking. So Patsy had
had made and began a'hovelllnr in the earth
"Tou think you know how to
don't you? Well, you can't do it
cent. Tou're nothing but a girl-boy
us your name. Girl-Boy. or .I'll corns over
acd IleU you."
The New Boy finished a nice little mound
ovtr the bulb and poured some water on
It from a watering pot.
"Hey! Girl-boy! Girl-boy! "We're comln'
to lick you, and you dasaent .touch us!"
Both th boys Cropped to the ground ' and
started toward the flower bed.
The New Boy picked up his hoe. stood up
and turned to face the two other boys.
And. those two boys Just grinned and
looked silly for It was MlUy. In her new
'FAIL1' UrWARD LIKE rjGHTNING.
at all simple. Many days are spent over
this part of his education, till he knows
every inch of it and understands thor
oughly what, every valve is for and how
it should be worked. .
Then he must learn to go into the water
after he is dressed in h!g diving armor.
This isn't simple, cither. It Isn't Just
merely a case of stepping in ana sinking.
The pressure" of the water makes lots of
trouble for every beginner, and often
would Injure him severely if he did not
get used to it by degrees.
After he has learned to enter the water
and sink gradually to the bottom his real
troubles begin. Everything Is strange
down there. The water acts like thick
glass, so that It is hard to see. The diver
must learn to walk on the bottom of the
sea. Just as a baby has to learn to walk
on land. If he tries to walk ahead as he
would on earth, he soon finds himself
swung sideways and pushed back, for the
water Is too dense to permit free motion.
He must learn to "sway" through it.
Then he must learn to handle his tools.
The first thing that will happen to him.
probably, will be to let go of some light
tool and find It darting upward out of his
Patsy's Small Tea
thought of the things that boys like best
ana naa set tne table with odd dishes and
a little present at each plate.
As Patsy worked she could hear the
boys skirmishing In the front parlor. Once
she settled a dispute that almost became
a tight, and again she had to remind them
that they ought to be a mlt more? polite
to each other. Then, just as another and
more serious affair began. Patsy skipped
Intohelr midst and invited them to sup
Ter. As soon as they were Served to the good
things Josephine had cooked they grew
quiet and extremely amiable, and Patsy
smiled and told them stories.
. "Marshall." said Patsy, as she began to
pour the chocolate, "will you have choco
late or water or both?"
"I'll take milk," said Marshall prompt
ly. Patsy was about to reprove him, but
then remembered that he always did have
milk at home, so she just slipped away
and got a glass.
On the whole they were very well be
u ved considering their age and the fact
that they had never been out to a party
of their own before.
Roland Martin ate so much that he only
spoke twice, and only kicked the other
boys under the table once.
Scovil Carter behaved perfectly, but he
always did. for he was a very gentle lit
tle fellow and loved Patsy and tried to
Tor dessert they had canned peaches
and chocolate cake the kind of cake that
has the chocolate all the way through
and looks very dark and luscious and has
white Icing a-top.
All the boys except Philip took some
"Why Philip." said Patsy, "don't you
"No." replied Philip, "I don't like ginger-bread."
But when the other boys
told him what It was and what h wn
missing, he took the largest piece left on
After supper they had lots and lots of
games. Patsy knew a great many good
ones. They romped and played, and
laughed and had a very exciting time.
"When they were hot and tired and Phil
ip's curls were strings and neckties were
ail untied and collars and shirtfronts un
buttoned. Patsy repaired the damages and
tney all sat on the floor for a coollng-off
game of old maid.
. ONCE SHE SETTLED A DISTCTE THAT TTAS ALMOST A ITGHT.
grasp. It Is no joke for a diver who is
working 30 feet under the surface to
"drop" a light tool, for Instead of falling
at his feet, where he can pick t up by
stooping, It "falls' upward like a cork
and bobs to the surface, so that the only
way he can get It Is to go up after It.
The use of tools Is vastly different under
water from what it Is on land. In ham
mering, for instance, the diver cannot
swing his arms and bring his hammer
down with the freedom of a carpenter.
The resistance of ithe water prevents any
such ease of action. He must learn to
hammer in quite a new way.
If he has to shovel away any mud or
sand he finds it another hard and novel
piece of work. It Js true that a shovelful
of mud weighs much less under water:
but on the other hand, none of the mud
or sand will "stay put." Hardly has he
taken out a shovelful before the hole be
gins to fill up again with sand carried into
it by the water.
On a hard bottom the diver generallv
finds It fairly easy to walk. But on a
muddy bottom he may sink half way to
Wherever he may .walk he must learn
never to take a single step without look
ing behind him to make sure that the rub
ber hose that carries air to him is uncoil,
ing freely and is not "in danger of being
cut by sharp corals or rocks or timbers.
The same care must be given to the stoiit
rope that is tied around him and that acts
as the lifeline by which he may be hauled
to the. surface should anything happen to
He must learn, too, that his helmet
needs constant attention.. He must take
care that enough air is pumped into it to
give him all he wants for breathing and
a little more to fill his rubber dress and
keep it blown up. If too much is pumped
In, he must unscrew a little valve In the
helmet and let .It escape.
All these things the young Portsmouth
divers learn In the tank, with half a dozen
sharp eyes watching, them to make sure
that they do It right.
They have lots of work to do on war
ships. Their hardest regular work is to
clean the bottows of the great vessels. No
matter how smooth and polished a-shlp's
bottom Is when she leaves drydock. It be
comes foul within a very few weeks. Sea
weed begins to grow on it almost at once.
Barnacles and other marine animals fas
ten themselves to it. All this Interferes
with Its speed, and the divers mustJower
themselves along the side and scour the
fihip. even while she is steaming along in
Then at regular intervals "the divers
must work along the keel and search for
loose rivets or other defects In tht steel
plates of the hull. If the ship anchors in
strange waters where the bottom is not
considered good holding ground, the diver
goes down and examines the anchor to
make sure that It Is set right and buried
deeply enough to hold the vessel in any
The naval diver's most dangerous work
comes when a ship knocks a hole into hex
bottom. Then he must go down in a hur
ry and try to stop the leak by forcing can
vas and other material into and over it.
Now if the hole Is a big one, the water
will be rushing into it with such deadly
force that If It caught him it would shoot
his body into the opening and crush him
like a fly. So only the best divers are
sent down in cases of accident like this,
and even they know that they are bent on
a mission fully as- dangerous as that of
the erew of a torpedo-boat which Is dis
patched to attack a battleship.
Patsy allowed herself to be the old
maid three times in succession and the
boys were wild with delight. '
Just as they finished tne tnird game the
doorbell rang and Mr. Denton came o
take Marshall home to bed. Marshall
did not want to go a bit. but while he was
protesting the maid came for Scovil. and
thdt made Marshall feel much better.
When George Martin came for Ronald he
was nowhere to be found, and Philip and
Patsy and Jim all Joined in the search.
After several minutes they found him
asleep on the rug behind. the door of the
library, and George bundled him off home
without waking him. thinking tKkt, was
by far the easier way. s
Philip lingered a few minutes, and then
ran across the street by himself. Patsy
having promised to watch him through
the window until she saw him safe.
Then she went to bed herself, pretty
wcll tired out. Next day, however, every
one of the mothers thanked her for th
lovely party she had given the boys, and
Patsy told her mother she guessed it
was worth the work.
Cairo Donkey Boy's New Job.
The Cairo donkey boy has been put out
of business by the tramcar that olic3 to
the Pyramids. The bazaar at Cairo Is
run of merchants who arc eager to de
spoil the tourist by the proffer of gew
gaws of Oriental type made in Birming
ham, and a goodly number of cx-donkey
boys are now pursuing a new calling
selling the travelers all manner of spark
ling trinkets and antiques.
Their familiarity with the English lan
guage is as helpful la their new calling
as it was when they were simply donkey
drlvers. and they still astonish the cus
tomers with quaint passwords and witti
cisms redolent of the East End of London
or the purlieus of Chatham Square. New
0,F uTn; coefcney street arabs of
Whltechapel are reproduced in thf
Egyptian youths so far as dialect and
pure, unadulterated "cussedness" are con
My father always says, says he.
That when he was a boy Hkn me,
He never thought of having fun
Till he got all his lessons done.
And he says when HIS father had
Errands for nun, he'd run like mad.
It must have made his father glad
To have a good son like my dad.