THE SUNDAY QUEgQNIAR, PORTLAND, AUGUST 21, Jt90
1
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YESTERDAY'S WEATHER Maximum tem
perature, 63 deg.; minimum, 52. Precipitation,
none.
TODAY'S WEATHER Fair and warmer.
Northerly winds.
t
PORTLAND, SUNDAY, AUGUST 21,
THINGS THAT ABE NOT RELIGION.
The superstitions of religion are not
religion; neither are the equally arti
ficial superstructures of fallible the
ology built upon it. It has been the
service of science to clear away many
of the superstitions of religion; and it
has been the service of literary criti
cism to correct the errors and rebuke
the frauds with which theology has
been framed and promulgated. These
tasks have been of the highest value
for there is no religion "worth having or
fighting for-except it rests on truth.
"Whoever conceives it necessary to
combat truth In the interests of his
religion pays that religion the very
poorest sort of compliment.
But these corrections or emenda
tions of religion do not destroy religion
any more than the sculptor destroys
the block of marble from which he
strips away everything foreign to his
vision. The hasis of religion is double
part existing in the nature of man him
self where the religious principle is one
of the most vital and persistent, and
partly in the physical fact of the uni
verse and of man. Religion Is the expression-of
man's relation to the uni
verse, and to get rid of such relation
and a faith about it and a code of con
duct consistent with that faith it would
first be necessary to get rid of the uni
verse itself. Man bears some relation
to the universe and his belief as to that
relation constitutes his religious faith.
The atheist has his religion, for
which he would cheerfully go to the
stake. It is only the shallow soul
of careless nature that takes man's
destiny and duty so lightly as to be in
different to his own relation to the uni
verse and indifferent to the religious
beliefs of those about him. It does not
lie in the mouth of Hume or Voltaire,
Paine or Ingersoll, to complain of the
proselyting spirit, which -they possessed
in so eminent a degree. Yet the ex
pression of religion in conduct varies
greatly with temperament. Some men
disbelieve' profoundly, yet accept and
obey the ordinances of the church,
while others who cherish even' outworn
superstition have not the resolution to
govern their lives by their creed. The
credulous and the profligate are often
combined in one;" and the agnostic may
show lofty and consistent practice In
harmony with his ethical philosophy.
That the truths of religion are in no
danger from error within or without
the church is obvious enough; and yet,
a6 with every human Institution, the
vogue or service of religion to human
ity may be seriously Imperilled by the
course of Its devotees or the assaults
of those who hate It The greater dan
ger here Is with the exponents of re
ligious belief; for science does not con
cern Itself primarily with religion, but
with physical fact. It is the exception
for scientific inquiry to be directed by
either a religious or an anti-religious
motive. Some scientific men of the
highest attainment are professing
Christians; others are out and out In
fidels; but the natural and more general
experience is that science seems to at
tack religion only when its discoveries
and demonstrations encounter tradi
tion which is manifestly false, but is
tenaciously clung to by the church.
The idea that religion Is doomed has
arisen readily from casual observation
of the desperation with which the
ologians cling to beliefs that science
has clearly disproved. Fifty years ago
it was thought Irreligious to accept the
facts of geology, Just as It Is accounted
irreligious now to accept the facts of
Biblical history. Churchmen said as
plainly as actions could say, If geology
is true then Christianity is a lie; just
as their descendants today tell us by
their actions that if evolution Is true
as applied to man and as applied to the
Bible, then Christianity is false and
must fall. Yet though the churches
are full of those who accept the teach
ing of modern physical and literary sci
ence, religious belief and church at
tendance .never enjoyed greater vogue
than today.
The logical end -of the unbeliever's
hope would be the destruction of such
words and ideas as God, conscience
duty, faith and holiness; but this is a
result whose achievement is at least so
far off as to be negligible. The great
question of the hour has been as to
whether rational interpretation of re
ligion would be accepted by the
churches in time to save the whole
"fabric of religious belief, and practice
from some such calamitous though tem
porary shipwreck as It suffered at the
hands of the French revoultion. It Is
necessary to remember, however, that
the adaptation of belief to new dis
coveries Is very slow In every 'depart
ment of human thought; and the hope
ful thing is the rapid advance of mod
ern Ideas among- the-most eminent liv
ing preachers..
It has been a long time since Henry
Ward Bee cher in America and Canon
Farrar In Europe emancipated thinking
minds from the age-long terrors of the
orthodox hell. -It has been twenty years
since Henry Drummond and Phillips
Brooks led the way for pulpit ac
ceptance of modern research as to evo
lution, as to the Bible, as to foreign
missions. The great preachers of the
day, ;iike Dr. Bradford, Munger, Gor
don, Lyman Abbott, Gunsaulus, Hlllls,
Potter, have long: since ceased to press
upon their hearers the exploded notions
of a bygone day. And yet their mes
sage -to the heart and the life Is as
eager and potent as that of the old He
brew prophet Rend your heart and not
your garments, saith the Lord; fear
God and keep his commandments, for
this Is the whole duty of man.
FROM: EGYPT TO JAPAN.
He seems a very shallow critic who
objects on grounds of humanity to the
extermination of Egyptian tombs and
temples for the precious relics that are
subsequently disposed for study in the
museums and libraries of the world's
capitals and institutions of learning.
The notion of reverence, when applied
to the mummies some thousands of
years old, Is grotesque enough to be
ludicrous; and we may well believe
that if. these ancient dignitaries could
speak they would prefer to serve any
useful purpose that might be required
of them than to slumber unprofitably in
their buried house of death.
What the world needs today as It
needed in Solomon's time Is wisdom;
and there Is no more effectual rebuke to.
the purse-proud or the socialistic igno
rance of the time than the lessons of
the dust What fine and instructive
meditations have been prompted in Sir
Thomas Browne and Joseph Addison
and Washington Irving by the relics of
departed grandeur! . The mark of van
dals on the efilgy of Henry V showed
one the vanity of earthly ambition, and
Lthe fact that Pharoah Is sold for
balsams Impressed "another with the
shortness of life and the precarlousness
of power. So in Hamlet one of Shake
speare's most striking passages is built,
about the discovery of Yorlck's skull
and its desecration by a ribald grave
digger. What man needs to know is what
has happened to man in the past It-is
only by studying the faith and am
bitions, virtues and vices, success and
failure of old civilizations that we are
able to lay our own course aright The
sciences that exhume and exhibit and
explain the dead languages and the
fallen temples and the buried monarchs
are those that truly teach us how fb
live. There is no morsel of hlerogypblic
or sepulchral lore but contributes
something of value to the problems of
today, in pointing us to the ideals and
customs, the dally life and even the
dreams of ages long asleep In their
graves. The heights their noblest
reached we may attain. The rocks on
which they shipwrecked we may es
cape. One thing only less important than
study of the alien past Is study of the
alien present Of Incalculable worth to
Western civilization Is this war be
tween Russia and Japan. It Is going to
teach us the merits as well as the de
fects of other systems of thought and
life. The Anglo-Saxon mind, espe
cially has been living in a sort of pro
vincialism, which regards the world
outside Itself with mingled pity and
contempt The. successes of Japan, for
example, will tend to waken us out of
these delusions. The sources of Japan's :
power He in things almost diametrically
opposed to our own way of thinking at
nearly every point It will alter our
ideas for the better when we have come
to understand the strength and weak
ness of the Oriental mind, the Oriental
view of life, the Oriental religion and
philosophy.
Ideas survive in Asia today that were
cherished by the Egyptian kings at
whose'' desecrated tombs the London
Mail and Rider Haggard are fain to
weep. Something must have been worth
while in those persistent ideas, or they
would have perished from -the earth.
Something must be worth while In the
Japanese systemjjf thought and code of
conduct to have produced such results
as astonish mankind day by day.
Whatever mission our own nation is
to discharge on the stage of history, we
shall not be fully prepared for It until
we have mastered the lessons of the
past and appropriated the truth that Is
uncovered for us In this unfamiliar but -virile
people of the East. i
GUARDING DOMESTIC SECRETS.
It has been decided by the Police
Commission of the City of Portland that
eating by a patrolman while on duty Is
an unpardonable offense subject to
heavy fine. An example has been made
of one officer and with this precedent
set It will not be easy for the Commis
sion to reverse Itself and let off the
next guilty man with only a reprimand.
Better discipline is the laudable aim of
that part of Mayor Williams' cabinet
which directs the peace guardians.
And the only way to have discipline is
to enforce It all the time without fear
or favor. If among those who wear the
city's blue with white trimmings for
the hand there be one not willing to
abide by the rules and regulations, let
him make room for a man who is will.
Ing. Recruits will not be wanting.
Still It Is worth while to ask, may not
General Beebe and Senator Slchel in
seeking. to enforce discipline work in
justice on sensitive and chivalrous ser
vants of the city? -May there not be
extenuating domestic circumstances
that cannot be publicly offered in de
fense of a culprit guilty of coffee and
doughnuts, or even a porterhouse steak
between meals? It may he safely as
sumed that a policeman on duty who
enters a restaurant and orders food and
eats it is hungry; perhaps he is faint
and yet when he Is hauled up and set
on the gridiron, who shall say why he
did not fill his stomach before he left
home?-'
Must he confess his wife stayed too
long at the club and that he couldn't
wait for the roast to be cooked? Is it
expected that any loyal husband will
"deplare he cannot abide "underdone veal
when such declaration involves indict
ment of his helpmeet for lack of culin
ary skill? Will any honorable man
make it known to a court of inquiry
that his home-brewed coffee Is wanting
In strength and savor? Isn't it enough
for him to be cognizant- of the fact that
sogginess marks the undercrust of pie
in his household or must this domestic
sorrow be given to the world?' Shall
he be required to explain that because
the neighbor who brought her baby to
show Its first tooth stayed too long and
the peas on the gas stove burned and,
had to be thrown out and they had
words, and he started .-to work doubly
handicapped by anger and an empty
stomach?
No need to multiply mishaps from
which few households arc free. The
policeman must report for duty on time
disregarding mental or physical Ills.
If, he summons himself -from labor to
refreshment there is probable cause,
but the great trouble he runs Into Is
that his excuse Is public property.
These enterprising reporters are not
less eager to print a poor fellow's de
fense than the charges on which he Is
haled before the Commission, but
chivalry seals his lips. Possibly the
new rule may be modified so as tb per
mit explanations in private. Certain it
is that if the full truth could be made
known many a hungry man caught
eating down town would be a target
not for censure but for sympathy.
THIS ALSO IS VANITY.
"Newspapers always excite curiosity.
No one ever lays one down without a
feeling of disappointment" So says
Ella, a connoisseur in all things
printed, except indeed those "books
which are no books biblla-a-blblia
court calendars, directories, pocket
books, draught boards, bound and let
tered on the back (such as sometimes
conceal ardent spirits in this year of
grace, 1904), scientific treatises, alman
acks, statutes at large . . . and
generally all those volumes which 'no
gentleman's Jlbrary shouldbe with
out'" And here, before "discussing
Efla's pronouncement on the deceptive
allurements of journals, it may be
proper to suggest that an election year
contributes many volumes to the list
o'f books that' are no books. What use
has the browser upon unacted dramas
and half-rorgotten poems for such mas
querading volumes as the Republican
textbook? What to him are the
pamphlets that scatter abroad wisdom
from Esppus? How Is he to stomach
the raillery of John Sharp Williams In
a disguise of print?
And how shall he dodge the myriad
volumes of Rooseveltlana, that come not
single spies, "but In battalions? Here
Is one no bigger than a thumbnail; for
use as a watchcharm. This may be
avoided; its appearance Is against it;
but what of the Putnams' two hand
some volumes? Masquerading as books,
those no books may gain entrance to
the home of the bookworm before he
is aware of the enemy. Yes; Ella would
have to Increase his list of deceitful
volumes did he live in a Presidential
year. And were Ella alive today we
have no doubt that he would make his
remark about newspapers apply to the
monthly magazines instead. "Maga
zines always excite curiosity. No one
ever lays one down without a feeling
of disappointment." That sounds rea
sonable enough. There Is a pleasurable
curiosity about picking up a maga
zine, gay of cover and prosperously
fat with advertisements. A thing so
pleasing to the eye must contain some
thing to arrest the attention; let us ex
plore within. It Is a sensation that
Ella did not fall to experience. "Poor
Tobin," he remarks, "'who latterly fell
blind, did not regret It so much for the
weightier kind of reading the 'Paradise
Lost' or 'Comus,' he could have read tQ
him but he missed the pleasure of
.skimming over with his own eye a
magazine, or a light pamphlet"
We pick up a magazine from the
over-burdened bookstall, any magazine
of the scores that go forth monthly, we
ekim It over with our own eye, and,
after reading the advertisements, throw
it away without the recollection of a
scintilla of Interest. We have Been some
pretty drawings, some very purple and
yellow "color illustrations" of scenes
in the Mojave desert or Sahara desert
apparently coldr of sufficient purple-and-yellowness
is to be found only In
deserts. We have noticed a serial, each
chapter full of "action;" a few short
stories writhing In their efforts to at
tract attention; a few pages of googoo
babytalk written around some pictures
of Impossible cherubic babies, drawn
by Fanny V. Cory or Jessie Wilcox
Smith, and looking like designs for a
stained glass window; and probably an
article, in the style set by McClure's,
on "Fanatical Finance," or "The Real
Grafters," or "Why Rockefeller Isn't
Broke." Then we turned over a page,
and came slap up against an article
telling why one should sleep on a mat
tress made of banana skins, and
were in the advertising section, having
passed Instantaneously from the liter
ary atmosphere Into the commercial.
Despite the attractions of the soap
pictures, we lay the magazine down
with, a feeling of disappointment; only
to have our curiosity aroused ten, fif
teen, twenty-five or thirty-five cents'
worth by another frescoed sepulchre
tb.next time we pass the newsdeal
er's. Matters are made worse, too, by
the magazines that use their own pre
scription "advertise." ,To pick up the
Metropolitan and in the course of our
journey through it to fall in with a
stpry of Kipling would be well. We
should read it from a personal pride in
its discovery. But when we read Ib
advance that the issue of such arfi
such a month will contain the greatest;
soldier story that Kipling has written,
we heave a sigh for Mulvaney and pro
ceed to read from a sense of duty. We
are not displeased to find that the story
Is far from the author's best, and that
Mulvaney Is likely to wave for a long
time to come. Or we read that Thomas
W. Lawson Is about to flay the pluto
crats In Everybody's. With innate dis
like of all plutes, we hasten to see them
flayed. Alas! the plutocratic hide does
not yet hang upon the wall in the office
of Everybody's, and we are disap
pointed of a great spectacle.
Disappointment is the Invariable lot
of the purchaser of magazines, and yet,
If one were unlucky enough to fall
blind, he would, like poor Tobin, long
for "the pleasure of skimming over
with his own eye a magazine or a light
pamphlet" As for the newspapers.
Lamb's genial nature was probably
soured In that one respect by his Job of
writing jocular paragraphs at sixpence
a jocular. Especially does this appear
reasonable when we read that he some
times got out of bed at 5 o'clock in the
morning, to write funny things for the
Post think 6f being funny at five!
And besides, Lamb wasn't on The Ore
gonian's mailing list
SECRETARY SHAW'S VISIT.
Secretary Leslie M. Shaw, of the
Treasury of the United States, who
comes to Oregon Tuesday and ad
dresses the people of Portland at the
Marquam Theater Wednesday evening,
is a notable man in many ways. He
is somewhat less than 56 years of age.
After a boyhood of poverty and hard
toil, he educated himself and achieved
eminence both in the law and In busi
ness before the issue of the gold stand.
ard drew him Into politics, where he
distinguished, himself lh two useful and
popular terms as Governor of Iowa and
for nearly three years as Secretary of
the Treasury.
In view of Mr. Shaw3 eminence as a
man, and lame as an orator for he Is
accounted the ablest speaker In Presi
dent Roosevelt's Cabinet the City of
Portland should esteem it a privilege to
greet Mr. Shaw with every attention of
courtesy and respect both In attend
ance upon his address Wednesday even
ing and In every other way that oppor
tunity may present It Is a time when
Portland and Oregon need friends at
court It Is a time when it is greatly
to our concern to have men in high
office who know our country and peo
ple and sympathize with our needs.
Whatever arrangements are proposed
by the Republican State Central Com-'
mlttee or the commercial bodies should
meet with general and hearty co-operation.
SMALL MEN AS SOLDIERS.
Frederick William I of Prussia con
ceived among his other half-insane and
autocratic schemes the Idea of produc
ing a regiment of giants for his army
men who by their size would be able to
carry all before them. The fallacy of
this Idea has long ago been proved. II
it hadnot, the events of the present
war In the Far East would have put It
to rout The events of this war have
shown that the Japanese known to the
nations of the world as "the little
brown men" are the equals of any
other soldiers on the globe, whether
the test has been one of bravery, en
durance or accuracy In firing.
The reverest tests of modern warfare
have been repeatedly, for months past
applied to these small soldiers of the
Orient Pitted against soldiers of large
size and boasted endurance, they have
emerged from the smoke of conflict in
.every instance, whether on sea or land,
victoriously. The preference for large
men for military service is still marked
in the armies of all of the natlonB of
the world, except the Japanese, and
since Japan does not produce large
men, she was forced to make the most
of what she had.
The idea of great size as essential to
acceptable service in the army came
down from a day in the history of man
kind when prowess lay in brute force.
Battles were fought with clubs and
spears and axes, and the armor -that
the soldier found necessary for his de
fense could only be carried about by
men of gigantic strength. But methods
and Implements or warfare have
changed. Hand-to-hand conflicts are
practically unknown. The clumsy Cos
sack with his heavy equipment is at the
mercy of the lithe and lively little Jap
with his finger quick on the trigger.
There is nothing to hinder the little
man from being a good marksman,
while he is not so conspicuous a target
as Is his tall, broad-shouldered oppo
nent. With the example before us of the
Japs as fighters it may be well to re
flect that our own military requirements
of height and weight are probably
keeping some of our most effective
fighting material out of the army. The
slugger In the prize ring needs brawn
and bone, both' for offensive and de
fensive purposes, but the man behind
the modern gun needs to be quick of
movement and keen of sight Slzo and
weight are minor considerations.
A BUMMER STORY,
The story of timber fires is repeated
again in this vicinity. It is the same old
Summer story of the settlers' hot dis
tress, loss of homes and crops and the
huddling together, in some temporary
retreat, of singed and smoke-begrimed
men, women and children, looking
about them ruefully upon the little in
the way of household effects that they
have been able to bear with them, in
their flight before the pursuing flames.
Except in the minor details of names
and incidents of the fight with, and
flight from fire, there Is nothing new
in this Summer's tale. Neither is there
any variation in the cause of these dry
weather, devastating fires. The smoul
dering embers of a deserted campflre,
fanned into activity by a mountain
breeze; the match applied by the settler
to his sjashing; the stump of the Sum
mer Idler's cigar thrown carelessly Into
the dry fern and grass by the roadside;
these make up the ordinary list of
causes that lead, year after year, with
now and then a season of Immunity, to
fires in timbered farming districts or
mountainous 'stock ranges, that leave
desolation, destitution and discourage
ment in their track. It Is manifestly
difficult, and, indeed, practically Impos
sible, to apprehend and bring to pun
ishment the man who starts the forest
fire.
If the settler who fires his slashing is
the culprit, he can only be held for
allowing the flames to get beyond his
control.. In any timbered section or on
any ordinary "brush claim," fire . 13
the indispensible ally of the man who
would bring the land under cultivation.
Men of good judgment use this means
of clearing land year after year with
out disastrous results to their neigh
bors, -and with invaluable advantage to
themselves. The wind must be right or
the day perfectly still; the slashing
must be properly arranged in the cut
ting so that the fire may not spread
too rapidly; sufficient space must be
left between the windrow of dry brush
and the neighbor's fence or the green
timber on the lot adjoining, to protect
these from the fierce contagion of the
flames, and after every precaution Is
U3ed the prudent man watches with
sleepless vigilance until the work of
the fire is complete.
Hundreds of settlers clear land by the
aid of fire every year without allowing
the flames to get beyond their control.
They simply must burn their slashings
or stop adding to their cultivated area.
To forbid this (providing the interdic
tion could be lnforced) would be to stop
the clearing of land. To discriminate
between the careful man and the care
less or inconsiderate man in this mat
ter is impossible. Hence the forest fires
that are due to clearing land may be
expected to occur with more or less fre
quency while there Is land to clear.
As to the other sources of danger
the Summer idler and the inconsiderate
camper strenuous effort has been made
and Is being made to watch them and
reduce the disastrous results of their
carelessness to the minimum. There is
plenty of law for their punishment, but
It Is exceedingly difficult to catch the
happy-go-lucky marauders. The most
that the forest rangers who are kept
In the woods for this purpose have been
able to do is to arrest fires, set by these
men, in their iriclplency. They very sel
dom succeed in arresting the men.
In looking over the situation, there
fore. It seem3 more than probable that
the fire sufferers will be with us annu
ally. These unfortunate people are
worthy of Intelligent, helpful, material
sympathy. The aid that they receive
Is not always Judiciously bestowed,
though It Is seldom that it Is bestowed,
unworthily. In other words, while
these people are entitled to help, the
offerings of well-meaning people are
not Infrequently of very little use to
those who receive them. It Is mistaken
philanthropy, for example, to make a
set of muslin nightshirts for a farmer's
boy who needs instead working shirts
-of stout cheviot which by preference
and habit will serve as nightshirts as
well. And It Is neither kind nor
charitable to send to the little daugh
ter of the burned-out settler a dainty
white dress good as new, but out
grown by the child for whom it was
made when she needs Instead a flannel
petticoat, a calico dress, common un
derclothinganything, in fact that is
suited to the dally needs of a country
lass.
Philanthropy and humanity went
full-handed to the relief of the fire suf
ferers of this vicinity two years ago.
They carried a great bulk of suitable,
much-needed and highly-appreciated
supplies. The intent was generous and
the bounty large. The mistakes that
were made were those of inexperience
joined with an abounding desire to
help. They were not of a type to de
serve criticism, but reference may prop
erly be made to them in order that they
may be avoided when supply Is called
again to meet demand in this field of
urgent necessity.
A man who devote3 the intelligent
unflagging energies of .a long life .to
ameliorating in practical ways the ills
from which mankind suffer through
Ignorance, may Justly be extdlled as a
hero. Such a man was Sir John Simon,
who dled recently in London in hi3
89th year. He was the pioneer In mod
ern methods of sanitation which make
the great city a model of healthfulness
rather than a breeding-place for dis
ease. From 1848, when he was ap
pointed Health Officer for the City of
London, to 1876, he was constantly in
the public service in the interest of
municipal health reform. His4reports
and Investigations during that period
were the basis of most of the sanitary
reform legislation in England during
the last half of the Nineteenth Century.
The scope of this effort may be judged
from the fact that he inaugurated a
sewer system for London, abolished the
system of central cesspools under
houses, and started a strong agitation
against intra-mural graveyards impure
water and overcrowded dwellings. He
defended Jenner's vaccination methods
successfully against the outcry that
was raised against them. His record
Is that of a man who loved his fellow
men, and made practical demonstration
of that fact throughout all the effective
years of his long life. .A hero of peace,
his triumph consisted in saving life and
making it, -at the same time, worth the
living. When such a man goes down
to his death the record of his endeavor
belongs not to one age or nation, but
to succeeding ages, and to ill humanity.
A superannuated minister at the gen
eral conference, leaning heavily on his
staff and urging in a voice trembling
with age that he is still able to work
effectively, is a spectacle that awakens
the tenderest sympathy, without in the
least convincing those In authority of
the old man's ability to rise above the
innrmities of age and do the work of a
younger man. The political candidate,
who thus attempts to discredit the
claims that time has levied upon his
working powers, is not the less an ob
ject of sympathy, because he is urged
by younger men to undertake work and
assume responsibilities for which he is
manifestly unfit by reason of age. Poor
old Grandpa Davis no doubt exerted
himself to the utmost to" acquit him
self acceptably on the occasion of his
speech accepting the candidacy of the
Vice-Presidency. It Is possible that he
did very well under the circumstances,
but the exhibition of his vanished pow
ers were nevertheless pitiful. Criticism
does not belong to him, but to the men
of his party who placed him In a posi
tion which he is, by decree of Nature,
unable to fill acceptably.
Meat Is high and going higher, but
diamonds are cheap and getting cheap
er. This is according to the law of com
pensation. Heads of families who can
not afford a three-rib roast may be
served with Irish stew by a waiter
who wears a solitaire diamond on his
sh'lrtfront The generous output of the
Premier mine in South Africa has
brought this about. To be sure, Pre
mier diamonds are not equal in quality
to the De Beers diamonds, but to offset
this arises the suggestion of Sir Will
lam Crookes that Inferior diamonds
may be Improved by the action of ra
dium. This being true, and inferior
diamonds likely to become as plentiful
as glass beads or aluminum trinkets,
it is clear, says the Kansas City World,
that many society men and women
must Improve their minds and man
ners or sacrifice all hope of class dis
tinction. Missouri recently celebrated the
eighty-third anniversary of her admis
sion into the Union. The great state
was in 1821 a wilderness of the Far
West She Is now a prosperous and
populous commonwealth and is sched
uled as the fifth state in the Union. Her
66,557 Inhabitants eighty-three years
ago have expanded, into 3,500,000. Her
story past and present has just been
printed in a thick volume of 600 pages
by the World's Fair Commission. The
story Is good reading, not only for
loyal Mlssourlans, but for patriotic
Americans generally. It is a tale of
energy and growth and development of
resources of which the country may
well be proud.
Two young men of Portland, William
L. FInley and Henry T. Bohlman, have
achieved something entirely unique In
natural history. While they were at
tending the University of California
they made six separate trips up a steep
mountain trail to the. aerie of golden
eagles and succeeded In getting photo
graphs of two from the egg to full
feathers. Their observations and their
work with the camera covered a period
of three months. In simple but enter
taining style they tell on page 30 of
this Issue the story of their investiga
tions, which makes a valuable addition
to the ornithological lre of the Pa
cific Coast.
The Czarevitch, notwithstanding his
tender age and heavy responsibilities,
is doing well. Like any other Infant
he is "Mewling and puking in his
nurse's arms," and even in this cheap
and common role Is the abounding
delight of a vast empire.
One Is Inclined to feel sorry for the
inmates of a poorhouse until he hears
the story of the-woes of. its superin
tendent, ,
ON AIDS TO CUPID.
(To the Editor.) It la an old observa
tion, which has been made of politicians
who would rathor Ingratiate themselves
with the public than promote its real
service, that they accommodate their
counsels to its inclinations and advise
it to such actions only as its heart is
naturally set upon., The privy counsellor
Of. one in love must observe the same
conduct unless he would forfeit tho
friendship of the person who desires his
advice. I have known several odd cases
of this nature K was going to
marry a common woman, but being
resolved to do nothing without the ad
vice of his friend, Philander, he consult
ed him upon tho occasion. Philander
told him his mind freely and represented
hl3 sweetheart to him .In such strong col
ors that the next morning he received a
challenge for his pains, and before 12
o'clock had his head punched by the
man who had asked his advice. Celia
was more prudent on the like occasion.
She deBired Leonilla to give her opinion
freely upon the young fellow who made
his addresses to her. Leonilla. to oblige
her, told her with great frankness that
she looked upon him as one of the most
worthless Celia, forseelng what a char
acter she waa to expect begged her not
to go on, for that she had been private
ly -married to him above a fortnight The
truth of it la, a woman seldom asks ad
vice before she has bought her wedding
clothes. When she has made, her own
choice, for form's sake she sends a conge
d'ellre ta her friends.
If wo look into the secret springs and
motives that set people atwork on these
occasions and set them to asking ad
vice which they never intend to take;
I look upon it to be none of the least
that they are incapable of keeping a se
cret which Is so very pleasing to them.
A girl longs to tell her confidante .that
Bhe hopes to be married in a little time,
and in order to talk of the pretty fellow
that dwells so much In her thoughts asks
very gravely what she would advise her
to do In a case of- so much difficulty. Why
else should Melissa, who had not a
thousand dollars in the world, go into
every quarter of the town to ask her ac
quaintance whether they would advi e
her to take Tom Towniy, that made his
addresses to her with an income of five
thousand a year? It- is very pleasant, on
this occasion, to hear the lady propose
her doubts and see the pains she is at to
get over them.
r must not hero omit a practice that
is in use among the vainer part of our
own sex, who will often ask a friend's
advice in relation to an heiress whom
they are never like to come at. Will
Honeycomb, who is now on the vergo of
threescore, took me aside not long since
and asked me in his most serious look
whether I would advise him to marry
Betty Single who, by the way,
is one -of the greatest fortunes about
town. I stared him full In the face upon
so strange a question, upon which he
immediately gave me an Inventory of
ner Jewels and estate, adding that he
was resolved to do nothing in a matter
of such consequence without my appro
bation. Finding he would have an an
swer, I told him if ho could get the
lady's consent, he had mine. This is
about the tenth match which, to my
knowledge, Will has consulted his friends
upon without ever opening his mind to
the party herself.
I have been engaged In this Bubject by
the following letter which comes to me
from some young woman who, by
the contents of It, seem3 to have
carried matters so far that she i3 ripe
for asking advice; but aB I would not
lose her goodwill nor forfeit the repu
tation which I have with her for wis
dom. I shall only communicate the let
ter to the public without returning any
answer to It:
"Dear Sir Now, sir, the thing is
this: Mr. Shapely is the finest gen
tleman about town. He is very tall, but
not too tall, .neither. Ho dances like
an angel. His mouth Is made I do not
know how, but it Is the prettiest I ever
saw In my life. He Is always laughing.
for he has an infinite deal of wit If you
did but Bee how he ties his ascots!
He has a thousand pretty fancies, and I
am sure if you saw him you would like
him. He is a very good scholar and can
talk Latin asN fast as English. I wish
vou could but see him dance. Now, you
must understand, poor Mr. Shapely has
no job, but how can he help that, you
know? And yet my friends are so un
reasonable as to be always teasing me
about him because he has no job;
but I am sure he has that that is better
than a Job: for he Is a good-natured, in-
genlus, modest, civil, tall, well-bred, hand
some man, and I am obliged to him for his
civilities ever since I saw him. I forgot to
tell you that ho has black eyes and looks
upon me now and then as if he had tears
in them. And yet my friends are so un
reasonable that they would have me be
uncivil to him. I have a good fortune
which they cannot hinder me of, and I
shall be 14 on the 29th day of August
next and am therefore willing to settlo
In the world as soon as I can, and so la
Mr. Shapely. But everybody I advise
with here is poor Mr. Shapely's enemy.
I desire, therefore, you will give me your
advice, for I know you are a wise man;
and if you advise me well, I am resolved
to follow It I heartily wish you could
see him dance; and am, sir, yours truly,
B. D." J. ADDISON.
Swimming Feat pf New York Girl.
New York Evening Telegram.
Friends of Miss Jennie Farless, 21
years old. of Depot lane, Fort Washing
ton, are congratulating her on her latest
swimming feat. Miss Farless, who is
known as an expert swimmer, started to
swim to Jersey from the Inwood bath
ing pavilion, at the foot of Two Hun
dredth street, -North River, Monday, but
before she reached there the tide had
carried her about two miles up stream,
and she was almost exhausted when she
reached the shore, opposite Englewood.
Friends followed her In a rowboat, but
she declined to allow herself to be rowed
back. After she had rested a while she
plunged Into the water again and headed
for Inwood. This time the tide was on.
the return and she did not have such a
struggle, and when she pulled herself
out of the water at tho bathing float the
crowd cheered her vigorously.
M&s Farless is a sturdy swimmer and
almost lives in the water. She has per
formed so many feats that her friends
have almost ceaaed to marvel. Last Sum
mer she swam across the Hudson, from
One Hundred and Fifty-fifth street and
back, and was as fresh at the end as
when she started.
Hohenllnden.
Thomas Campbell.
On Linden, when the sun "was low.
All bloodless lay the untrodden snow;
And dark as Winter was the flow.
Of leer, rolling rapidly.
But linden saw another sight.
When the drum beat at dead of night
Commanding fires of death to light
The darkness of her scenery.
By .torch and trumpet fast array d
Each horseman drew his battle-blade,
And furious every charger nelgh'd
To Join the dreadful revelry.
Then shook the hills with thunder riven;
Then rush'd the steed, to buttl ririvan.
And louder than the bolts of Heaven
Far flash'd the red artillery.
But redder yet that light shall glow
On Linden's hills of stained snow;
And bloodier yet the torrent flow
Of Iser, rolling rapidly.
'Tls morn; but scarce yon level sun
Can pierce the war-clouds, roiiinir Ann
Where furious Frank and flery Hun
Shout in their sulphurous canopy.
Tho combat deenens. On. vn Tti-nv
Who rush to Klory. or tho itt&va!
Wave, Munich! all thy banners wave.
And charge with all thy chivalry!
Few. few shall nart. where mm m.ti
The snow shall be their wlnding-phect,
And every turf beneath their feet
fchau bo & BOldisrs aepulchro.
, NOTE AND COMMENT.
Samovar and Samisen.
Our great serial story of the Russo-Japanese
"War.
(Summary of previous chapters Michael Po
poff Falls In and la Out a Rouble.)
CHAPTER HI.
Popoff surveyed the grimly-barred Jap
anese cell and felt that he had been sold.
Escape seemed impossible, and it was not
until the Cossack found a few pieces of
hoopiron that he saw a way of escape.
Wrapping his whiskers around his body.
Popoff, with the aid of the bands, trans
formed himself -Into the semblance of a
bale of hay.
In a few moments voices were heard
outside. Popoff was In a fever a hay
fever of Impatience, but with a great
effort he managed to control himself and
to breathe as much like a bale of hay as
possible. The voices approached, but not
alone. Their owners were with them, and
proved to be Japanese cavalry officers!
Their quick eyes fell upon Popoff, and a
few minutes later he was aboard a Jap
anese transport bound for Nieuchwang. A
cavalry officer's horse began to nibble at
him.
"Hey, there!" said one of the attend
ants. Popoff, thus addressed, sprang to his
feet and saluted.
"I wasn't speaking to you," said the
Japanese.
"You're another," said Popoff, "you
called me 'hay.' "
"Dog of a Cossack," cried the Infuriated
Jap, drawing his kimono and lunging at
Popoff, "with this I'll slit your throat"
"I care not," answered the gallant
Michael, "before now I've had slits In
my throat"
Seeing the jest the Jap sheathed his
kimono, and as a sign of friendship for
his quondam enemy began to instruct him
in Jiu-jitsu.
As the lesson was about to be con
cluded, there was a terrific explosion and
Popoff
(To be continued.)
An Irvlngton Ballad.
"They're off!" Is the cry, and with eyes on
the track
The people are cheering the horse that they
back;
And Samuel emlles, for he sees a new hat.
New clothes a new outfit from shoes to cra
vat For Cyclone in front Is a sure thing to win.
And he fondles the ticket he hopes to cash In.
They're rounding the turn and they're hitting
the stretch,
And Cyclone's in front, and he's certain to
fetch
But Hurricane's closing, and, going like fire.
He noses out Cyclone Just under the wire
And Hurricane's name that Is heard on the din
Is not on the ticket Sam thought he'd cash in.
Ah, not his last nickel on Cyclone went down.
And dusty's the road that leads back to tho
town;
No clothes for poor Sam, 'twill be all he can do
To borrow enough to buy doughnuts and stew,
And he kicks up the dust and he swears worse
than sin,
As he tears up the ticket he couldn't cash In.
Russia has called her reserves from
their reservation.
A Kansas man is said to have coughed
up two live toad3. Too much to swallow,
thanks.
Government Chemist Wiley says Amer
icans eat too much mea't. More power to
the packing strike.
We hope for Colonel Dosch's sake that
it 13 not now obligatory upon him. to go
about Is a kimono.
The power of the pessimist is shown
by the public's familiarity with the word
"dyspeptic" and Its unacquaintance with
"eupeptic."
So far as we have been able to observe
the usual way of boarding a street-car
Is to catch on wherever you can and fight
your way In.
College students investigating the meat
strike may not be strike-breakers, but
they're likely to be strike-broken, If the
mob gets 'em.
Rear-Admiral Schley describes the bat
tle of Santiago in the Saturday Evening
Post From his description we incline to
the opinion that he was an eye-witness
of the fight
"Are there any members of the nobility liv
ing in your flats?" asked an English Judge of
a lady who was on the witness stand. "No."
was the reply; "they are all respectable peo
ple." New Tork Evening Sun.
This is something like the story of the
Alblna grocer who was asked if one of
his customers was a gentleman. "I don't
hardly think it" replied the grocer, "he
don't keep me waiting over a week for
my account"
Recent events Indicate that the rich
get more fun out of their jewels when
the jewels are lost than when they are
In the safe-deposit vault This Is not
strange. What pleasure Is there in having
a lot of stones locked up In a safe, while
paste Imitations take their place In public?
When a thief has run off with the valu
ables, there Is at least the excitement of
the chase, and there is also a chance to
spend more money on rewards. No won
der It is becoming fashionable to lose
one's jewels.
There 13 nothing like letting the people
know that you're on, wise, next Here is
an extract from a New York letter to a
Pittsburg paper:
I am assured that a political sensation of tho"
most startling character Is likely to be sprung
very soon. From what has leaked out regard
ing Its character, it Is safe to predict that it
will prove to be nothing worse than a "roor
back." Although intimations of It have
reached me from two sources widely separated,
I decline to have anything to do with Its cir
culation. There you are. I know something that
will cause ' a political sensation of the
most startling character, but I won't tell
what it is.
Let the winged Fancy roam.
Pleasure never Is at home.
That Is what the artists of the Illus
trated papers are doing. They are letting
the winged Fancy roam out to Manchuria,
and she is bringing them back all sorts of
fine things. One of the best is the woman
who leads a horde of Cossacks in a wild
charge against the Japanese. Arrayed In
a perfectly-fitting habit as spick 'and
span as if she had stepped from a band
box, her face as radiant as an ad. "rnp
Dingbat's Soap," this Amazon sits a cur
vetting steed with the utmost grace.
Around her lie dead bodies, shells shriek
past her, but her back hair, the most
usual sign of emotion in her sex. refuses
to "come undone." She is a noble a.
herclc figure, and we would wish her long
life if we didn't know that the newspaper
artists will never let her die. She will
remain
Forever panting, and forever young.
She is the best thins that the winced
Fancy brings from the scene of war, and
she has but one rival the woman who i3
due presently to Inspire the defenders of
Port Arthur to their desperate resistance,
..WEXFORD JONES.