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THE SUNDAY OKEGOmA, POHTIAXD, NDTEEMBEB 8, 1903.
THE PALATIAL
foe Pith f &tt$ m
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tii miliar !li5wl,i:, Jv-i 1 1 , 'iip.M
Mil1 i ''in 'W I lii 11 If I fr VFTtSk fe&JfeSlHA VUU t tRMl$Ab&vto fJe c&c&Attis&v&fhe&y'
HIS name took up pretty nearly a -whole
page of the register, so much of It,
In fact, that a Chicago gentleman,
who was glancing over the hook In search
of tho signature of a friend, observed to
the clerk, "I say, young feller, did this
chap arrive all at once, or In sections?"
In general, the distinguished visitor's ti
tle Is the Duke of Acres. Specifically, and
In detail, he Is George Herbert Fitzmar
malado Albert Henry Hugo Postelthwalte
James "Warren Cholmondelly victor de
Emythe Cavendish Seymour Hicks "Wln
Iringham. Ho Is the man of whom a
famous Radical, on seeing his name for
tho first time, observed that he must have
been christened on a windy day and, since
It was generally understood that he had
come to this country for the purpose of
securing a Duchess to restore tho plumb
ing of Castle Wintringham to Its ancient
splendor, I resolved to call upon hlaa at
his apartment in the Walledoff Castoria
and see what he had to say for himself.
The Purchasable Duke Is an entertaining 1
development In modern sociology, and ev
erybody has talked about him but him
self. All sides of his story, save his
own, have beea told over and over again,
and It seemed to me that it was only fair
that he should have the opportunity to be
heard.
He did not keep me waiting long. Bare
ly fire minutes had elapsed since the send
ing up of my card through a pneumatic
tubo when the voice came hurling down
through tho pipe:
"His Graciousness says to show that
leiler up."
And up I went.
The Duke is a short, squat-figured gen
dency to effective waistcoats- nu anu n
tloman, with a florid complexion and
a tendency to effective walstats. To say
the truth, as I entered the-oom in tho
rather dim light of the afternoon, I
thought at first that ho was the back of a
heavily upholstered arm chair, his ex
pansive waistcoat contributing largely to
that impression. The result "was that I
bumped rather unceremoniously into him
before I realized the true state of affairs,
and so found myself lace to face with an
awkward moment. You can't very well
toll a man that In the dim light and ow
ing to the somewhat overwelghtr color
scheme of his centrifugal dimensions you
have mistaken' him for a plush-backed j
easy chair, and I was up against a very
difficult proposition as to .how best to ex
cuse myself. Fortunately, howevv tho
Duke was affability Itself.
"How very awkward of me," he cried,
when he had recovered his second wind,
"to stand where you must inevitably stum
ble over me. Fact is, I didn't expect you
quite so soon, or I should have got out
of tho way. I forgot that your American
lifts are so much faster than our Eng
lish ones, and In consequence I did not
think you would be up here for a half
hour yet. It would have taken you quite
20 minutes to get up two stories in a Brit
ish hotel."
"Don't mention It, Tour Grace," said I,
resolved not to be outdone In affability.
"The fault Is wholly mine. "Wo Americans
haven't yet learned how to enter drawing-rooms
properly that is, not more than
four hundred of us at the outsid. For
the most part, we stick to the old cata
pult method, which is Indeed awkward in
Its results, especially in these days of
waxed floors and rugs. Only last night
I slid through three cases or bric-a-brac
at tho home of a friend of mine, owing
to the Impetuous way in which I landed
upon the rug at the entrance of the par
lor." "It Is one of your very great charms,"
suggested the Duke. "It is indeed a com
pliment for a gentleman to enter his host's
presence with such evident eagerness, and
I sincerely hope I shall always find 0
cordial a. manifestation of interest In
any poor self."
"It was lucky I didn't try to sit down
on you," I blurted out, forgetting for thb
moment that the true Inwardness of my
error was wholly unknown to the Duke.
'"Ah beg pardon?" he answered.
"I ah what I mean is," I stammered,
"that I er It was fortunate I didn't bowl
you over and fall on 3ou."
"Very." said tho Duke. "Considering
tfiat you must weigh in the neighborhood
.of 15 stone. It strikes me as being emi
nently iortunate. And now to business.
You are the agent of Miss Marjorie Gold
rox, of Duluth, I understand. Of what,
precisely, does Miss Goldrox's fortune con
cist? I like her picture very much quite
a sweet little thing, and while, of course,
not the conventional type for a Duchess,
she might make a very successful one on
tho mere basis of the difference."
"Well, you see, Duke," I began, rather
disturbed to discover that, after all, I had
been received by mistake.
' A Practical Lover.
"I shall require a certificate in detail
of all tho lady's property, of -course," said
His Grace, Interrupting me, "and an ad
vance of $1000 before I can consider her
application at alL You see, It Is expensive
business coming all the way over here to
lqok up tho financial antecedents of your
would-be noblewomen. I should prefer not
to ask for an advance, but circumstances
over which I have little .control seem to
make it desirable that I should. Sly
friend, tho Duke of Herring, who was
over hero last year, told me that he wast
ed six months running down bogus appli
cations, and when finally ho was acquired
hy his prosent very , charming Duchess,
who was Miss Mamlo Copperking, of Ari
zona, it took pretty nearly all the first
payment to settle up his accrued American
debts, to say nothing of the creditors at
home. So I have adopted the advance
payment system, which protects me
palnst. frivolous applications and 'enables
me to settle my bills promptly a year after
presentation."
"Suppose the application is ultimately
rejected" I asked. ""What becomes of
that advance payment?"
"It is returned or rather I have a
blank form, which I call a 'negotiable,
receipt,' which I return in lieu of the
cash," explained His Grace. "It is made
payable to the applicant, and the lady Is
at liberty to negotiate it whenever and
wherever and lor whatsoever sum she
vsees fit. 13 Miss Goldrox prepared to
comply with this formality?"
V'Well, Duke " I began again, re
solved to undeceive him as to my Iden
tity. " "Of course," he interrupted a second
time, tapping- his fat fingers together re
flectively and glancing at the photograph
of Miss Goldrox on the table, "of course,
If she Isn't, on the ground that 51O00 is
too high a figure, I might, in view of her
beauty, take $750, but if I did I should
wish it regarded as a strictly confidential
transaction. It would never do to have
tho impression get abroafl that I am one
of those cut-rate Dukes, such as you find
in the Italian market."
"There's none of the job lot about
Your Grace," I said.
"I hope not," he replied. "Indeed," he
added with a sigh, "I am as genuine as
my necessities, and I certainly do not
propose to let myself go cheap, though in
your case I am prepared to make a
reasonable concession, because I like
Miss Goldrox's looks. She has all' the
piquancy of what we call the chorus
girl Duohess, without her reputation,
which I think Is a very desirable com
bination." ""Well, now, see here, my dear .Duke,"
I began a third time. "I don't want to
get anything out ol you under false pre
tenses, and .I've tried to tell you three
times that I am not"
"You need have no delicacy In coming
to that point, my dear fellow," said the
Duke, leaning forward In his chair and
patting me pleasantly upon tho knee.
"Of course, I know what you would say.
Miss Goldrox desires some information as
'to my title, the exact state of my for
tune, my personal character, and all that.
-RECOLLECTIONS AND -REFLECT I QMS OF
Ti
HE moon behind a cloud whose edges
were uppea witn silvery raaiance, mo
stars blazing through the darkness,
the distant mountains with purple summits
stretching upward to the very gates of
heaven, plains brown and drear, seamed
with bending orchards and'vales like thel
lawn of paradise, the upper Gila tumbling
In cascades, the Colorado foaming through
gorges a mile in depth, giant cactus up
lifting their ghostly arms In the gloom,
the electric air, tho indescribable charm
of the desert, and then, as the night skies
began to be pencilled with the dawn, tho
song of the lark, "the herald 8t the
morn," bubbled up in matchless melody
over the rim of tho dark, and it was
morning in Arizona.
Poor old Arizona! For 23 years her
matchless resources have been almost un
touched, and her people have growled a
little, and hoped a good deal, and waited
with longing .and impatience lor the toga
viriles of statehood, whose enfranchising
touch will" invigorate the life and spur
the energies of Arizona, and bring other
capital and people to develop her wonder
ful wealth of field and forest and mine.
Yet for the delay In achieving local
self-government, Arlzonans themselves
have been not altogether blameless, when J
there -nas a Democratic majority in Con
gress they would elect a Republican dele
gate to Congress, and when Congress was
Republican they would hasten to roll up a
Democratic) majority. Before 1SS0 parties
were not organized there, and all candi
dates were "independent," for the people
regarded both political parties much as
the South Sea Islander looked upon the
new-born twins of which he was the
lather. They were too small to-fight, and
too lean to be eaten, and so her neither
loved nor respected them.
Other cities of "tho sun-kissed land"
may have a grander future" than Prescott,
b'ut none has greater 'beauty of location.
It Is nestled in a charming mountain val
ley, girt with pine-clad hills and boasting
of a stream the Hassayampa which, -unlike
some other streams in Arizona, very
often has water in It The railroad which
now reaches It has deprived it of Its for
mer charm of isolation, when It was a
'little world In Itself. And a world that
was up to the times. It was adjacent to
Fort Whipple, the headquarters of a mili
tary department. There was a brilliant
coterie of officers .and their families, and
there was always something doing."
Private theatricals, masked balls, dinners
and other lunctlons kept the military
bands busy and the young men In an Jm
pecunious condition. The citizens were
enterprising and liberal, the mines were
rich, money was "'plentiful, and a little
theater, costly nearly $10,000, was erected
by voluntary subscriptions. Waifs of all
kinds drift into mining camps. We found
a lawyer, who had once been a scene
painter at Wallack's; a banker's assist
ant, who was an ex-stage carpenter, and
amateur actors were as plentiful as frogs
in ApriL A Colonel at the lort was as
clever a light comedian as ever walked
the boards, his wife was a renowned
Washington beauty and a clever actress.
A signal service operator "proved an ex
cellent character actor. He has sinco
gained lame and fortune In New York as
the author of "My Friend From India,"
"The Man From Mexico" and" other dra-
Indeed, she said as much in her letter
answering my advertisement, and stat
ing that you would call at 4 this after
noon. "Why 'should sho not seek and re
ceive that Information?"
"No reason In the world, Duke," I re
plied. "Only I am not "
"There Is really nothing to be ashamed
of in my caicr," he ran on. "The title
is one of the oldest in England, my cas
tle Is In an awful state of disrepair,
and my debts well, they are ducal. As
lor the title. It was conferred upon the
original Duke, Peter Wintringham, of
"Wassailbowl, who, at the battle of
Marston Moor, gave "William the Con
queror, a good drink of rum( at a time
when nothing elso could have saved the
day. As "Williamf said, after he had put
Edward the Confessor to flight, 'by my
faith, an It were not for that dram.
Lord Buckingham, my Lord of Axmln
ster would have sat on the British
throne this night.' He theroupon sum
moned my ancestor into his royal pres
ence and made him Duke of Acres. It
was because of this episode that we
took the whisky jug as a symbol for our
crest, and the phrase Magister blburdi'
for our lamily motto. Three centuries
later Queen Elizabeth, in testimony of
her regard for the sixth Duke, Henry
Charles St. Vincent "Wintringham, who
wrote a triolet to Her Majesty's eye
brows, built for him at a cost of 200,000
sterling the present Castle "Wintringham
and granted him an allowance of 10 a
year for its maintenance. From that day
to this Castle "Wintringham has been a
millstone around the family neck. You
can't run a castle very fast on 10."
"That's a "bad place to get a mill
stone," I observed.
"Quite so," he replied. "Of the subse
quent Dukes of Acres you of course are
famjliar with English history, so it Is
unnecessary for me to tell you of their
achievements. It is true most of these
are recorded between the lines, but, as
Kipling says, 'they also serve who only
stand and wait.' "
"Tho title is evidently all right" said
I. "But see here, Duke "
"And so is the castle all right, my
friend," continued the Duke. "It is a
answerlngr my adverUsement, and stat- 3 WT''wMiRfflRTiWT iiirilJB 11 r
lnff that you would call at 4 this after- S$$ F&Sf.sittjm&ma
noon. Why 'should sho not seek and re- ztiiTl'. J MjCCdfWaiiJumB ;ffiJ8BW&gfo ,ZTL ts
matlc successes. Murat Masterson, not
only was an artist with the brush, but
he played Joseph in "Richelieu" and
Damon in "Damon and Pythias," and the
violin In the Oasis saloon, with equal
success. He -was a many-sided genius,
for he had been flrst officer of a Confed-
orate cruiser, had taught mathematics in
a Kentucky academy, and was a leading
lawyer in Arizona and a member of the
Legislature. The best furniture and dra
peries and bric-a-brac of Prescott houses
adorned the stage on occasions, and when
we needed a cardinal's guard for "Rich
elieu" we had at our service a company
of real soldiers from Fort Whipple, who
dropped to their knees like hot potatoes
when His Eminence pronounced the curse.
of Rome.
I was stage manager, and it is my proud
boast that I kept the company together
in perfect harmony, with one exception,
during 14 consecutive weekly perform
ances, which included the dramas of Bul
wcr, Robertson, Sardou and Boucicault.
Shakespeare we did not attempt. We con
templated presenting "Hamlet," but the
gentleman who was to delineate the mel
ancholy Dane Insisted upon Introducing
some original features, which' he claimed
were justified by the text, such as a flute
solo by Hamlet, In tho second act, accom
panied by a terpslchorean dlvertlsement.
When we refused to allow him. to have his
way, he grew insubordinate and left the
company, with a threat to shoot up the
town, and to begin his career by making
a target of any gentleman who should at
tempt the part of Hamlet in his place. As
nobody desired to become a shining mark
for him, we substituted "East Lynne."
I had a largo extension bed-chair in my
office, which at night was occupied as a
couch by our clerk. This was carried over
to be used as a bed for little Willie, when
In the last act he passes In his checks.
The part of William, was taken by a
5-year-old girl, Mho was one of our
"troupe." Tho stage official, who. set the
scene, neglected to shoot the holt, which
kept the two ends of tho chair in place,
and when 'Mrs. Fitch, who played the
Earl's daughter, threw herself, in an
agony of grief, upon the couch of the
dying child, the head and lootboard of
the contrivance shut up with a click, like
a country jackknife, and as the curtain
went down there was visible a pair of
gaiters poised toward tho ceiling, while
the dying child howled, "let me out, let
me out."
It is only a fair tribute to the histrionic
powers of the lady to relate that when
the tangle was unraveled, the bedstead re
stored and the curtain raised, tho roar of
laughter which greeted the catastrophe
was hushed to respectful silence and the
scene was duly finished amid tho tears
and cheers of the audience.
Let not distinguished counsel from East
ern or Western cities sneer at any ter
ritorial bar or bench. The litigation
lucrative to lawyers which attends upon
rich mineral discoveries, often tempts the
keenest intellects to the frontier forum.
But there were large fees paid to attor
neys In Arizona, in former, years, and
there was as able a bench as could be
found In any Eastern city. Judge Charles
A. Tweed dead now, of course; It seems
to me sometimes as if everybody who Is
anybody is dead was a priest, a philoso
pher and a wag. On one occasion a
motion had been made before him to
dlschargo from attachment a very
I valuable pair of buggy ,mules, and
Sir MvH
ffrwi'' - tsHiij&wfflr II
superbly massive aggregation of architec
ture, to which the tourists flock an
nually In great numbers fact Is, in too
great numbers, for actually- last year
they took away with 'em about four
thousand bricks from the family chapel
as souvenirs. The only trouble with the
castle is that It has no roof, and the
second floor has fallen two flights into
the cellar. Incidentally carrying tho flrst
floor with it. There is only one whole
pane of glass in tho whole edifice, and
the plumbing well, it was tho plumbing
that first convinced me that I owed It
alike to my ancestors and my posterity to
.come over here and And a Duchess who
could put it in order. "Why, really, sir,
the justification for my presence here,
should Miss Goldrox require something of
that nature, lies in the fact that In the
matter of repairs alone my castle is so
badly off that oven my creditors, anxious
as they are to get their money, never
dare call at my ducal home, for fear
some loose wing or tottering belfry may
fall over upon them. Indeed, one man,
on the last day of the term It was
argued at great length before him.
The Judge was due to open court at MloA
eral Park, a hundred and forty miles dis
tant, the following week. He was the
possessor of a light ambulance which he
used In traveling the circuit; but he
owned no horses, finding It more con
venient and economical to hlro animals
for each journey. "Gentlemen," said the
court, "this motion which you have so
elaborately and ably presented will In
volve for its determination tho examina
tion of a large number of authorities, and
I will not havo time to look Into them
until after my return from Mineral Park.
I will therefore take tho motion under
advisement until then. And gentlemen,"
'said His Honor urbanely, "I understand
that you are both going to Mohave Coun
ty to attend court. I will be glad to have
you occupy seats in my ambulance during
the journey, and I suggest that it will
promote both the ends of justice and our
personal comfort if I also take tho mules
under advisement. The court hears no ob
jection. Mr. M. you represent the plain
tiff in the case and you are a native of
Missouri and naturally understand the
needs and characteristics of mules. I ap
point you judicial equerry for themp. Mr.
F., your rotund form suggests famili
arity with the good things of life and
where to get them. I appoint you ju
dicial commissary and remind, you that
we shall probably 'be obliged to'camp out
one or two nights, and that the water to
be obtained is not good. Is that all sat
isfactory" Quito so. The mules will, I
am sure, enjoy the trip. Mr. Sheriff, ad
journ court to meet next Monday at Min
eral Park."
Chief Justice French was a learned and
able lawyer, who possessed a private for
tune and who accepted tho position of
Judge, because he liked the work. He
was noIn the least taciturn and was not
disposed to sit mum and allow the law
yers to do all tho talking. He would
"chip in," and participate in any discus
sion beforh him with questions and dis
sertations and side-bar remarks, and if
the case at bar did riot offer opportuni
ties for him he would refer to some other
case. Those lawyers who understood this
Idiosyncrasy of the Judge always humored
him& and listened patiently until he was
through, and then proceeded with the trial
of the pending case. i
But there was one member of his bar
who was annoyed at this habit of tho
Judge and who determined to express his
objection at the first opportunity. One
warm afternoon in August, when the val
ley of the Gila was seething and all the
Idlers in Florence were sweltering under
the shade of the dirt-roofed piazza, which
surrounded the old adobe building which
served for a Courthouse, this gentleman,
who was employed lor the defendant In a
noted divorce case, was contending before
Judge French that the rule of law that
the residence of the husband Is the resi
dence of the wife did not .prevail In an
action lor divorce brought by a non
resident wife against a -resident husband.
Counsel paused for a moment in his argu
ment to pour for himself a glass of water.
"Mr. Blair," said the court, "I am sat
isfied that the decision cf the Supreme
Court of California Is not law. I am
satisfied that In an indictment for stealing
bullion from a Mining Company it is not
necessary to state whether the company
Is a corporation or an individual Go on
J'Mr. Blair." "Tho -'counsel stood quietly.
jni&hf ha. r"Kr7vrjs
JJOQJ- gam. jy&y.
a vulgar little cad of a tailor, to whom
I owed 600, ventured there the night
the second-story floor gave way, and is
said to have lost his life In that dis
aster." "Said to have? Didn't they know? Did
you find the body?" I cried.
"We never looked for It," replied tho
Duke calmly. "In the first place, I hadn't
the money to pay for lifting the floor out
of the cellar, and, in the second place, I
considered It undignified of me to go hunt
ing for a tailor's body, anyhow. I think,
in all probability, his bones will be found
.underneath that floor, however, for I
haven't received another bill from him
from that day to this. But enough of
that. I think I have told you enough
about the state of disrepair into which
my castle has fallen to convince you and
Miss Goldrox that I am not trifling when
I offer myself and title in the American
market. I estimate that it will require
300,00) to get Castle Wintringham in
shape again, to say nothing of refurnish-
' lng. The loss of the roof and the calng
Jh&
THOMAS FITCH
and received the Interruption. The re
marks of HIjjf Honor referred to a bullion
stealing case In the trial of- which Mr.
Blair had participated a week previous.
In that case ho had vainly-endeavored to
procure a dismissal of the indictment, on
the ground now referred to by -Judge
French, but the jury, had subsequently
acquitted the defendant and the case was
at an end.
"Go on with your argument, Mr.
Blair," said the Judge. "If your honor,
pleases," said Blair, "I know that the
statute provides that neither party shall
be allowed to testify as to verbal declara
tions made by the other party, where
the other party is dead; but I submit
that the statute does not apply to cases
where the pleadings are verified and one
of the parties dies during the trial."
Mr. Blair's argument was with reference
to an action concerning a farm, which
had been tried a month before, and In
which action the plaintiff died while the
case wag on trial. "Your honor will par
don me," said Mr. Blair, "f6r this digres
sion, but since the case at bar seems
not to interest your honor, I thought
while we were reviewing old cases, I
might with advantage offer a few re
marks on this most Interesting question."
"The court accepts your explanation,
Mr Blair," said Judge French, "and
does not wish to Interrupt you. Indeed,
you are throwing about as much light
upon the case at bar now as you were
t when the court Interrupted your original
argument."
"Mr. Blank," said Judge Tweed, "this
is the time appointed for sentencing-Pat
rick Brunagan, who has been convicted
of housebreaking. His counsel, I learn,
is ill. Will you please appear for the
defendant, for the purpose of receiving
sentence." Mr. Blank signified his ac
ceptance of the- duty required of him.
"Patrick Brunagan," said his honor,
"stand up and receive your sentence."
Brunagan, who was a little measly Irish
man, with mutton-chop whiskers and one
bad eye, turned deprecatlngly toward the
counsel appointed for the nonce. "Mr.
Blank," said he, "I'm not feeling very
well this 'morning. Won't you plaze
shtand up and receive my slntcnce lor
me?"
Judge J. B. Southard, familiarly known
as "Ben" Southard, was a hater of
shams. A pretentious Arizona Jurist, who
owed his elevation to the bench to his
couslnship to a President's wifewas one
day vaunting his own character and
career before Ben Southard. "I tnade It
a rule," said the boaster, "when I was on
the bench, never to know a friend from
an enemy. I would decide a case In favor
of an enemy and against a friend just as
soon as I would the other way." "That
was my rule exactly," replied1 Ben. "But
when my enemy swore one way and my
friend another, I always believed my
friend."
"Prisoner," said Judge Southard to a
culprit, who stood trembling before him.
"You have pleaded guilty to the charge
of bigamy.- Who Is twice married is
twice punished. This court will let you
off with ono hour's imprisonment and $1
fine."
"When I lived in Sonoma County," said
the Judge, "I expounded religion. I used
to hold court on week days and preach on
Sundays. I found an old volume of the
sermons of Henry Ward Beecher tho
grandest man that ever lived and I took
the pains to commit them, jto memory and ;
in of the second floor haven't done the old
furniture much good."
"It wouldn't seem likely," said I. "And
now as to your moral character, Duke,"
said I, lor I felt now that I must humor
him In his misidentlfication. I had heard
too much to undeceive him at this point,
and so resolved to lollow the thing
through to the end.
"Well," he answered, with a short
laugh, "since everybody shut down on my
credit It's been pretty good. You can't
lead a rollicking life on nothing a year."
"But you are of domestic Inclinations?"
I asked.
"As to that, I can't say as yet," he said,
with a pleasing show of frankness. "You
see, I've never had a- home to go to nights.
Castle Wintringham has been more of a
brickyard or a quarry than a home for
as long as I can remember. I think,
though, that t I had a chance I could
become very, very domestic In my tastes.
With Castle Wintringham turned into a
cosey home, with billiard rooms, squash
and racket courts, greenhouses, wine cel
lars. Roman baths, and a nice little
Duchess to preside over K well, I am
quite convinced that you would find me
at home Sundays, anyhow. You see I
promise nothing. howevej(t for I should
not want Miss Goldrox jfrer to say that
I had deceived her."
"Well, Duke," said I, rising, "I have no
doubt that Miss Goldrox will be satisfied
with what you have told me. She is esti
mated at $46,000.000 "
"In money or industrials?" asked the
Duke, anxiously.
"Oh, real money," said I. "And you will
investigate?"
"Certainly," he answered. "Of course
and er that little check? I might even
be satisfied with $500 down."
I hadn't the heart to deceive him, and
so, taking a blank check from, my pocket,
I drew a draft for the Duke as follows:
: Duluth, Oct. 20, 1003. :
: The Nineteenth National Bank, :
: Duluth, South Carolina. :
: Pay to the Order of George Herbert :
: et cetera Wintringham, :
: Five Hundred Dollars :
: $500. MARJORIE GOLDROX, :
: Per William H. Jones, Atty. :
In return the Duke handed me one of
his negotiable receipts and I departed. I
heard yesterday that somebody at the
Walledoff Castoria had been arrested for
trying to cash a bogus draft, but whether
It was the Duke or not I have not heard,
but I hope It wasn't, for I should hate to
think of one with so refined a taste in
fancy walstcoasts as His Grace having to
wear the distinctly unpleaslng stripe pat
tern garments now In vogue at Ossining.
Moreover, the Duke was a good fellow,
and I am sure was perfectly sincere In
coming to this country to sell himself In
order to pay his debts and restore his
family grandeur to Its pristine splendor.
NO. X
THE SUN-KISSED LAND
I used to preach them to my congregation,
and those Yahoos would go to sleep under
them, and when I preached a sermon of
my own composition they would snivel
and howl and cry 'Amen.' Well, that let
me out. I threw up my Job as a preacher
and never took it up again."
Judge Southard's death was as genial
and as filled with good fellowship as his
life. He was seated on the hotel piazza
at Santa Rosa, conversing with some
friends. Suddenly he sprang to his feet.
"Good-bye, boys," said he, "I'm off," and
he dropped lifeless at their feet.
(Copyright. 1903, by Thomas Fitch.)
Talk Won't Go.
Tjrooklyn Eaele.
The candidate now pasnss 'round
Sweet tally to the voters.
But at the polls It will b found,
This docs not catch the floaters.
Man wants but little here below.
But 'round about elections
He wants that little paid In dough.
Not vocalized confections.
Can only be cured by the marvellous sernm tosia
discovered fifteen years ajfo by Doctor Francis A.
Siebcr. This treatment can be taken at home with
the same maneUous rsuhs as though administered
at any one of the branch Institutes of this Company
in Chicago, New York, Boston. St. Lou.s, Pittsburg,
Hot Spnnsrs, etc. All pimples, eruptions, mucous
patches, sores, pains, rheumatism, etc., are removed
during the first month, and the very worst cases
completely cored during the full course of three
months. Every case accepted for treatment b
guaranteed a complete cure or all money refunded.
Dr. Siebcr's serum toxin
treatment is .CtLln. tieonlyhutnaa
agency through ASHf' which conta
gious blood 55gZZr7. poisoncanever
fee eradicated -" H5 f fremthehuman
system. If you ,JH 5.2 haTe, ',? j
everything; rise ?M.-v and failed,
come to us, we VjyUPcT W,U curc yoa
Remember that 6S. your guarantee
is signed by the Yc&V largest Medical
Institute in the ' , world, capital
$1,000,000. Before writing- us ask any Mercantile
Agency, or your own banter, as to our financial
responsibility and business standing-. esend tree,
upon application, a thirty-page Treirtise fln conta
gious blood poison f ully descnbinf; the Steber serum
toxin treatment, and how you can be completely
cured while you remain at home and attend to your
regular duties.
International Seram Toxin Company
0ITAL. SI, OOO, OOO
Sulfa 'r40 St. James BIdg, New York Cltj
Primary, Secondary er Tilary SlewJ Pofsow
Permanently Cored. You can bo treated at homo
nndor samo guaranty. Capital $500,000. We solicit
tho most obstinate cases. Wo have cured the worst
cases in 15 to 33 days. If you have taken morenry,
iodide potash and still have aches and pains. Mucus
Patches In ilonth. Sore Throat. Pimples. Coppor
Colorod Spots. Ulcers on any part of the body. Hair
OX Eyebrows fallins out, write for proofs of cures.
vCook Remedy Co
l5392iS05I0J21?L3.CiittC3W. IOQ-ji B)i fcMi
gglag m rami'
ftlfl Sflfffr
Not a dark office In the bolldlns; absolutely-
fireproof; electric lights and artesian
water; perfect sanitation and thorough
ventilation; elevators run day and nisht.
Rooms.
AIXSIilH, DR. GEORGB. Physician and
Surgeon bOO-COT
ANDERSON. GUSTAV, Attorney-at-Law..G12
ASSOCIATED PRESS: E. L. Powell. Msr..bCtI
AUSTEN". F. C., Manager for Oregon and
Washington Bankers' Life Association of
Des Moines, la o02-50a
BAAR. DR. GUSTAV, Pbyb. and Surg. .b07-K
BANKERS' LIFE ASSOCIATION OF DES
MONES, IA.; F. C Austen, Mgr 50i-".O3
BATES. PHILIP S., Pub. Pacllic Miner 15
BENJAMIN. R. W.. Dentist JU
BERNARD, G., Cashier Co-Operativ.e Mer
cantile Co -.. ....2tH-i03
BINSWANGEK OTTO S., Physician and
Surcwm v 407-40$
EOGART, DR. M. D.. Dentist "to
BROCK. WILBUR F., Circulator. Orego-
nlan .., V,
BRUERE, DR. G. E.. Phjs.. .411-412-413-414
CAMPBELL, WM. M.. Medical Referee
Equitable Life 700
CANNING. M. J C02-6lX$
CARDWELL, DJt. J. R., Dentist . ..501$
CAUK1N. G. E.. District Acent Travelers'
Insurance Company 71S
CHURCHILL. MRS. B. J T710-717
COFFEY, DR. R. C. Surgeon 4U3-40G
COGHLAN, DR. J. N 7U-714
COLLIER, P. F., Publisher; S. P.-McGulre,
Manager .. .....413
COLUMBIA GRANITE CO 417-413
CONNELL. DR. El DE VITT, Ee. Ear,
Nose and Throat GlJ-614
CO-OPERATIVE MERCANTILE CO.; J. F.
Olsen. Gen. Mgr.; G. Bernard, Cashler.iOI-1'03
CORNELIUS. C. W., Ph3. and Surgeon. .212
DAY, J. G. & I. N 31S
DICKSON, DR. J. F., Phjsiclan 713-714
EDITORIAL ROOMS Eighth Floor
EVENING TELEGRAM 323 Alder Street
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SO
CIETY; L. Samuel, Mgr.; G. S. Smith.
Cashier . 306
FENTON. J. D.. Phys. and Surgeon 500-310
FENTON. DR. HICKS C. Eje and Ear..511
FENTON. MATTHEW F.. Dentist 503
GALVANI. W. H., Engineer and Draughts
man ...COO
GEARY, DR. E. P., Phys. and Surgeon 400
GIEST, DR. A. J., Phys. and Surg 700 710
GILBERT. DR. J. ALLEN, Phys 401-403
GOLDMAN. WILLIAM. Manager Manhat
tan Life Ins. Co. of New York 200-210
GRANT. FRANK S.. Attorney-at-Law 017
GRISWOLD & PHEGLET. Tailors
.... . 131 Sixth street
HAMMAM BATHS, Turkish and Russian...
.....300-301-302
HARDEN, MRS". L. IC. Stenographer 201
HAWKE, DR. C. E., Phys. and Surg..C0S-t50O
HOLLISTER, DR. O. C, Physician and
Surgeon ..........504-503
HOSMER, DR. CHARLES.. SAMUEL; Phjs.
and Surgeons .... ., 400
IDLEMAN, C. M.. Attorney-at-Law 615-U1G
JEFFREYS. DR. ANICE F.. Phys. and
Surgeon, "Women and Children only 400
johnson, vr. a 315-310-317
KADT, MARK T., Supervisor of Agents
Mutual Reserve Life Ins. Co.. .....COS
LANE, E. L.. Dentist 513-514
LAWBAUGH, DR. E. A 804-b03
LAWRENCE PUBLISHING CO 417-413
LITTLEFUED & CORNELIUS 212
LITTLEKIED, H. R., Phys and Surg 212
MACKAY. DR. A. E.. Phys, and Surg.. 711-712
MANHATTAN LIFE INSUltANCE CO.
OF NEW YORK; W. Goldmaa, Man
ager 200-210
MARSH, DR. R. J., Phys. and Surg.... 300-310
McCOY, NEWTON, Attorney-at-Law 713
McELROY. DR. J. G., Phys. &. Sur.701-702-7W
McGINN, HENRY E., Attomey-at-Law.311-312
McGUIRE. S. P.. Manager P. F. Collier.
Publisher 413
McKENZIE. DR. P. L., Phys. and Surg.512-5iu
METT. HENRY .- 218
MOSSMAN. DR. E. P.. Dentist ...513-514
MUTUAL RESERVE LIFE INS. CO.;
Mark T. Kady, Supervisor of Agents.. CO4-C03
NICHOLAS. HORACE B., Attorney-a.t-Law.718
NILES. M. M., Cashier Manhattan Life
Insurance Company of New York 200
LNOTTAGE. DR. G. H.. Dentist C08-000
rvnTTIVfittlM T TV Mitt T)i tv-o.
Construction Co ......210-217
O'CONNOR. DR. H. P., Dentist........ 300-310
OLSEN, J. F.. General Manager Co-operative
Mercantile Co . . . . 204-205
OREGON INFIRMARY OF OSTEOPATHY
400-410
OREGONIAN BARBER SHOP. MARSCH
& GEORGE. Props 120 Sixth street
OREGONIAN EDUCATIONAL BUREAU;
J. F. Strauhal, Manager ......... j. 200
PACIFIC MINER, Philip S. Bates. Pub..213
PAGUE. B. S., Attorney-at-Law 513
PALMER BROS., Real Estate and. Busi
ness Chances 417-413
PORTLAND EYE AND EAR INFIRMARY
Ground Floor, 123 Sixth street
REED. C. J., Executive Special Agent
Manhattan Life Ins. Co. of New York... 200
REED, "WALTER. Optician 133 Sixth etreet
ROSENDALE. O. M., Metallurgist and
Mining Engineer 315
ROTH, DR. JOHN B Phys. and Surg.313-314
J RYAN, J. B., Attorney-at-Law 515
SAMUEL, I, Manager Equitable Life.... 300
fcCOTT, C. N., with Palmer Bros 417-413
SHERWOOD, J. "W.. State Commander K.
O. T. M BIT
SMITH. DR. ALAN "WELCH, Physician
and Surgeon 207-203
SMITH, DR. L. B., Osteopath 400-410
SMITH, GEORGE S., Cashier Equitable
Life oOO
STOLTE. DR. CHARLES E., Dentist. .704-703
SURGEON OF THE S. P. RY. AND N. P.
TERMINAL CO 700
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE 201
TUCKER. DR. GEORGE F., Dentist.. 610-611
UMPQUA LUMBER CO., "W. J. Pender-
gast. Manager 60X
VE3TER, A., Special Agent Manhattan
Life 203
WARREN CONSTRUCTION CO., T. W.
Nottingham, Manager ..... ...216-217
WENDLING, DR. ROBT. F., Dentist 705
WILEY, DR. JAMES O. C. Phys. & Surg.708-J
WILSON, DR. EDWARD N., Eye, Ear
Nose and Throat ..304-305
WIL30N. DR. GEO. F., Phys. & Surg. .706-707
WILSON. DR. HOLT C, Phys. & Surg.507-503
WOOD, DR. W.,L.. Physician. .411-412-413-414
Offices may be had by applyisg- to the
superintendent of tho building, room 2014
second lioor, -- - - -J