22
THE SUNDAY OBEGONIAN, -PORTLAND, STAY 10, 190S.
TRAVELERS' GUHJK.
THE PALATIAL
0UI1 BUI
THE "REVENGE OF THE FOUR
BY JOSIAH FLYNT AND FRANCIS WALTON
0i
N
ONE evening, or rauier mormag, m
May, 1S&-. in the "Slide," -which
everybody knows, though that is
not its name, a mixed company of men
and -women -were glad that they -were
young. Therefore, they ordered miscel
laneous drinks'and smoked cigarettes and
listened to three "darkles" explain, to
the accompaniment of three guitars, that
they And the Western Union a conven
ience, no matter -where they roam, and
that they will telegraph their baby, -who'll
send ten or twenty, maybe, and they
won't have to -walk back home.
In marked contrast -with the other vis
itors that evening at the "Slide" there sat
close about a -table, in earnest consulta
tion, four celebrities, -whom the "house"
treated -with distinguished deference.
This May evening in the "Slide" they
had met by appointment in the way of
business. Their business for the moment
eemed to consist in the attentive con
templation of a calendar of local shows
and festivals and generally of occasions
on -which anywhere in the United States
In the next three months extraordinary
crowds would congregate. At any ex
pense of labor or of inconvenience to
themselves, they were ambitions to afford
their services to the greatest number of
people in the greatest number of places.
In the shortest space of time possible.
The Question of the day -was, in which
part of the country and with what "graft"
the benefit of their sen-Ices should first
be offered.
Mr. Eady, called "Mike" among his in
timates, and "Tier 4. No. 30.S96," among
his attendants at a mansion of more than
monastic seclusion, facetiously known as
his "lying-in hospital." favored a pre
liminary jaunt to a reunion of Civil War
veterans to be held In the South. He
backed up the suggestion with promises
of aucceee, which, on account of his ex
perience and age he had just passed his
66th year were listened to with marked
attention.
"There's more suckers In a day down in
that part of the country," he declared,
"than there Is up here in a -week. We've
all been In the hill country in West Vir
ginia on circus day, ain't we? Well, the
class o' people you find there are runnin'
loose all over the South. They take In
'bout one show a season, an when they
get to town they rubber so that they
ain't thlnkin' 'bout their leathers at all.
W'y, I've seen those yaps come to town
an throw up their hands at sights that
a Bowery kid wouldn't drop a cigarette
snipe to see. Put 'em In front of a side
show's banners an' they'll screw their
necks till you'd think they was never
goln to get 'em in shape again. They
work like steers on their farms an don't
nee enythin excltlif more'n once or twice
a year, an' when a big thing comes along
it staggers 'em. The same class o' yaps
is goln to be at the reunion.
"I can see jus' exactly how the thing's
goln' to bo. Those old soldiers, you know,
'11 come In from the country an' rubber
themselves silly. They'll chew the rag
right in a crowd, blockin' up the way an'
makin pushes so's a bloke won't need any
stalls. Colonel Jim-James from Kentucky
'11 see Captain Coffee Cooler from New
Orleans, an' they'll beller an' holler, an
han' round plug tobacco an fine-cut right
in a big Jam, an' Jim-James '11 suggest a
mint julep. Then they'll push an' squeeze
to get out o the crowd, an' off comes the
touch.
"You know the single-handed worker,
Sneery Johnson? Well, he told me not
more'n six weeks ago that Jus' such yaps
as Jim-James an' Coffee Cooler stalled for
Mm at a gatherln' in South Carolina bet
ter'n a trained push. Wy, Mike,' he
Bays, 'I don't want nothln' easlern get
tin those people to bite. They're Just like
Bheep. Let somebody holler that the ele
phants is comln an' they crowd an' shove
's if they was bughouse. I was amongst
'em when Bryan struck Atlanta, an it's
God's truth, my hands actually got tired
weedln the leathers I pulled up.' Now,
I tell you, blokes, we don't want to lose
a chance like the reunion Mess there's
somethln a damn sight better somewhere
else. It won't cost us over ten days to
take it in. an then we can jump West,
or where you like."
"You're all right 'bout the yaps bltln'.
Mike." remarked Mr. Burras. familiarly
known as "Larry," "but there's goln' to
be an all-fired big push o' guns at that re
union, an' you know how those yaps are.
They take the bait like catfish; but look
out when the hollerln begins. Wy they
nearly lynched Jerry Simpson and the
Michigan Kid In a Jerk town in Georgia
last Winter. The two was hlttln' It up
pretty lively, and an old Hoosler woke up
out o' one of his dreams while the Kid's
Ust was In his pocket, an he went bei
lowln like a moose all over the shop.
If the coppers hadn't Jumped in an res
cued the Kid the yaps 'ud a' croaked 'im.
sure, an it cost his push a thousand
plunks to spring him from the coppers.
"There's goln' to be a big push o' vls
itln' coppers at the reunion, too. an' if
any of 'em knows us they'll beef, dead
sure, 'less we square 'cm, an they'll beef
anyhow if the guns go it too strong, an
that's Jus -what's goln' to happen. There'll
be such a lot o suckers that the guns'll
work 'em hard, an' there'll have to be a
lot o' sprlngin done. My advice is
course, If they ain't nothln better that
we take in the through rattlers on the
Pennsy or the Central for the next .few
weeks an go it sort o quiet till we see
how things are pannin out. Them pas
sengers on the through rattlers are al
ways good for twenty-five or fifty, an
we can give 'em the change an raise
rackets. At night we can pull off some
Pullman touches. I aln t stuck on this
kind o graftln, but it's my opinion that
it'll suit us better'n the reunion will at
this stage o' the game.
Mr. Renn, with the descriptive of "Mon-
ikey Shorty." agreed with Mr. Burras
that the Teunlon was Impracticable, but
tor reasons which the others understood
but did not seriously consider, favored
remaining in town and taking in such
events as funerals until the season was
-more advanced. "Goln to be some big
stiffs to work at this month," he re
marked appreciatively, "an If we don't
attend to em somebody else will; take
my tin for that." Mr. Renn was engaged
-to be married to a sweet little thing on
.the East Side, and, as his companions
well knew, was not competent to make
acceptable suggestions.
Mr. Frood. affectionately termed "Ed
die" by an indulgent wife as well as by
his three pals, proposed a Jaunt through
1 "the great State of Ohio, and made good
his reason for the selection or this local
ity with very convincing arguments and
Illustrations.
"There's no use talkin', blokes." he said.
''there ain't been no improvements on old
Ohio in any state o the Lnlon. She's
been touched up right an' left, backward
an forward, an sideways an crossways.
an' there she sits still, sayln', 'Gimme
come more, honey; gimme some more.
Wy, blokes, it's one o the phenomenons
o' the age. as Sammy the Greek used
to say, tho way Ohio has been ripped open
by politicians an guns an' keeps as chip
per as ever. Wy, them railroad Junc
tions o hers has been touched up for
the last twenty-five years an' they're as
good as Government bonds yet. Better,
by Jove! I don't want any neater graft
than fioatln 'round them Junctions. An
I'd like to know where there's another
state where you can fix things the way
.you can in Ohio. The politicians havo
got the state by the throat, an you know
as well as I do that -where they get their
graft in guns can. too.
"Nows the time when the circuses be
gin their rounds, an.' the thing for us to
do is to Jump over there, tie up with one
o' the shows an Jus take Its dates. I
was over there lost season with Myens an
Randall, an we only had to jn&ke one
zprizis;, an' that didn't cost us over six
hundred. By August we had six thousand
plunks even money banked. We can't
do any better'n that anywhere, an' I say
that we hunt up a good sneak an' climber
(sneak thief and burglar) an' Jump over
there."
"Do you know what fixers are travelln'
with the shows?" asked Mr. Eady.
"There ain't been any changes. I saw
Cincinnati Red day before yesterday an'
he said the shows had the same coppers.
Some of 'em has come up a little in
their commission charges, but most of
'em are askln' 20 per cent, same as usual.
Fifteen per cent goes with some of. 'cm
if you ain't on the dip an' are Jus doln
the sure-thing act."
This conversation took place in the in
scrutable llpless enunciation of the pro
fession. The night festival in the "Slide"
was still at its height, and above all the
sound of light laughter, of popping corks
and shuffling feet, the voices of the j
three "darkles" proclaimed to the ac
companiment of the three guitars that
they had got a horseless carriage an' a
footman, too. and yellow coachmen by the
score; that they'd said good-bye to all
the coons, 'cause we ain't poor no more.
Adolph Hochhelmer, Mayor at thistime
of the city of Cornvllle, was a politician
of the school whose first principle ft is
to let the people have whatever they
want, provided always they want it bad
ly enough to make a fuss about It.
As chief executive of the city of Corn
vllle he had succeeded. an Incumbent who
had been the candidate of a reform party.
Mayor Hochhelmer" was elected as the
"regular" candidate, to the open rejoic
ing of almost every one and to the con
cealed rejoicing of almost every one else.
Every one found it possible to get his
little bill "Jobbed," and the new execu
tive, out of whom hitherto, as a man
of business, politics had made money,
began to reap the harvest of his long
studies, and with perfect masterj- made
money out of politics.
On the morning that the "Great and
Only Combination Circus and Menagerie"
was getting ready for the afternoon en
tertainment in the city of Cornvllle, a
gentleman. In the full-Jeweled regimentals
of a sport, but with a badge on his waist
coat which proclaimed him to be a pri
vate detective, called at the Mayor's of
fice in the town hall and asked tor an
Interview with "His Honorable Mr. Hoch
helmer." The interview was granted.
"Good morning, Mr. Hochhelmer. This
Is a pleasant day."
Very pleasant, sir; very pleasant. Take
a seat, sir. Don't know as I ever saw a
pleasanter at jest this season of the
year."
The two men made mental notes upon
each other while these original courtesies
were being exchanged.
"I am the special officer. Mr. Hoch
helmer, of the 'Great and Only Combi
nation Circus and Menagerie,' which is
to show here this afternoon and evening,
and I have taken the liberty of present
ing complimentary tickets to your chief
of police and am here now to offer some
to you. We should be very glad If you
would make use of the half dozen In this
envelope. We shall feel honored if you
can find the time to visit the entertain
ments in person."
"Very kind, sir; very kind. I Judge from
the posters about town that you have a
very attractive show."
"les; we offer the public a varied pro
gramme. I think I may say very varied,
sir."
It is strlclly to be noted that this ex
change of commonplace was not inepti
tude; in the language of the prizering. It
was sparring for an opening.
The Mayor, who was approached In
this manner on an average of twice a
week, was perfectly aware that the cir
cus representative's business was not yet
transacted. He leaned back in his chair
in an attitude of expectation.
"Mr. Hochhelmer," the detective con
tinued at last, "besides being the special
officer of the circus company I am also
the business representative of some of
the 'side-show concerns connected with
the circus."
"Jest so," said the Mayor.
"Exactly." said the detective.
Whereupon both men looked a shade
more thoughtful.
"Among the 'side-show Interests which
I represent are some amusing games,
which we are taking along with us this
Summer. We try to have novelties every
year, you know."
"Jest so," said the Mayor.
"They axe harmless little games of
chance, you know, at which, the visitor
of the show may take in twenty times
his money, or maybe fifty times," said
WOMEN WORKERS IN MODERN HOTELS
They Have Displaced Men at the Head of Many Departments.
THE big hotel of today is a remunera
tive field for women workers. It de
mands the services, of hundreds of
them. It largely depends upon them for
ultimate success. It pays them thousands
of dollars weekly. In this one thing alone
it conspicuously differs from the big hotel
of yesterday.
Tho women employes of the spacious
hostelrles of a decade ago were all mere
servants. In its monster counterpart of
the hour they are, graded all the way up
from cleaners to college-graduated clerks,
whose abilities to direct the satisfying of ;
tho wants of the occupants of entire
floors enable them to earn comfortable
salaries.
Formerly two" dozen chambermaids, half
as many cleaners, and three or four linen
room girls, with a none-too-well-educated
housekeeper over them, constituted an
especially large corps of female help. At
the most typical example of the up-to-date
hotel the Waldorf-Astoria, of New
York this force -would be Just about
large enough to take care comfortably of
two of its 14 floors. There seven house
keepers, each selected for her acknowl
edged intelligent executive ability, em
ploy, discharge and direct the tasks of 15
parlor maids, 90 chambermaids, 50 clean
ers and 20 seamstresses and other work
ers along allied lines. Each housekeeper
has charge of two floors, and all of them
report to the senior in command.
Hundred! of Women. Employes.
Large as are these figures, they repre
sent scarcely more than half the women
regularly employed. The floor clerks and
cashiers, number S3. Four controllers
audit the- checks of the waiters. The
laundry employs 75. the kitchen 15. The
glass pantries are taken care of by 12. the
storeroom by 8, and 16 waitresses erve
all these women, for they live in the ho
tel. Tho grand totil is 345.
But many other women not in the. list
earn their living in such a place. Does
the business man want to answer a day's
mail? A half-dozen stenographers are at
his elbow. Has a woman left home with
out her maid? All she his to do to se
cure the services of an expert lady's maid
is to make application to the floor clerk.
Does a guest want her trunks packed?
Professional packers are kept in the hotel
for this express purpose. Is a Turkish
bath desired? The attendants are within
the four walls of the hostelry, and mani
curists and masseures and the like are
also within call of the belL
In brief, all told, the number of women
who .find work in a modern hotel is not
much less than 500.
Of these women, the clerks and the
cashiers probably fill the most important
positions. ,
The clerks In the Waldorf-Astoria, for
example, lumber two to each floor. Over
them is & xna, Istit for all practical pur
the detective, who labored to be accurate.
"We run the games, you know.v more to
draw a crowd before the circus than
anything else; It isn't at all our notion
to make money out of the games except
Just to pay expenses; they're, so to speak,
a kind of advertisement. We thought,"
concluded the detective, with childlike
simplicity, "that we ought to explain this
to you beforehand."
"What is the nature of these games?"
asked the Mayor, also with childlike sim
plicity. "Well, one is a variation of the old shell
game, that as a boy you doubtless your
self became acquainted with. Then we
are experimenting with a little wheel and
a pea that we have been led to bejleve
might entertain the boys. The pea goes
skipping around, you know, and if it
stops at the right place, the .boy wins."
Here there was a really Impressive
pause. The Mayor's face had become of
a portentous gravity; he cleared his
throat as If preparatory to the declara
tion of a moral principle.
"There are two other matters In regard
to which I need trespass upon your atten
tion," said the astute middleman, who did
not concelv'e it possible the Mayor could
at the moment have anything to say that
would be to the profit of his employers.
"It Is the wish of the gentlemen who are
handling the little games of which I speik
to testify their gratitude to your charm
ing town for the hospitality it showed,
them the last time they were here."
This certainly demonstrated a Christian
spirit on the part of two at least of his
employers: the hospitality to which they
had been treated on their last visit to
Cornvllle hid consisted mainly In a new
and perfectly snug suit of tar and feath
ers. "They wish to distribute a $500 among
your private charities, and would regard
it as a great favor If you, Mr. Hochhelm
er, who can apply the money with so
much more discretion thin is at all pos
sible to us outsiders, would take charge
of the funds."
Here he produced a neat package, which
he laid on the 'desk before the Mayor.
The Mayor's fape assumed a look of ex
treme abstraction.
"The other little matter relates only to
the subject of police protection. It Is the
policy of the 'Great and Only to rely
lirgely upon the local police for protec
tion, paying liberally, of course, for the
extra service they request. They find this
policy more more satisfactory to every
one. I am about to speak to your Chief
of Police on the subject, but thought it
more courteous first to address you; par
ticularly as it seems mir.-h simpler to
make one arrangement for. the protection
of the grounds as a whole the miln
show, the side-shows, and well! all the
little booths that are set up along with
the main shows!"
"Has the show taken out its license?"
asked the Mayor, with the politeness of a
man who can take In an idea without
having his skull cracked to make room
for It.
"The license? Oh, yes, Mr. Mayor, the
license Is all right."
"I will consider the matters of which
you speak with the Chief of Police," said
the Mayor, with the grand air. The Chief
of Police was the commander of 15 patrol
men and one wagon.
"It Is a pleasure to meet a gentleman
who has had experience of affairs," said
the polite middleman, rising to take his
leave. "I was happy to see that you were
put in office by a majority which prom
ises a re-election."
"Hope your show will have every suc
cess," said the Mayor. "Hope you will
have fair weather."
"Today, at all events, is a pleasant
day." said the detective.
"Very pleasant, sir, very pleasant; don't
know that I ever saw a pleasanter at Jest
this season of the year."
There was still an hour to while away
before the afternoon entertainment in the
big tent of the "Great and .Only Combina
tion Circus and Menagerie" would begin.
The parade had taken place in the morn
ing, and the visitors to the show were
gathering on the grounds. Since early
morning they had .packed the highways
that converge at Cornvllle as the spokes
of a wheel converge at the hub.
It is only once a year that the "Great
and Only" visits Cornvllle. The "yaps,"
as Mr. Eady had called them, or if you
prefer, the 'backbone and Intelligence of
a great nation," as the President had as
sured them he felt them to be, had passed
a private resolution that for the tlmo
being their line fences could be "goll
darned," they were going to take a day
off.
The four celebrities were present to lend
the charm of surprise to the day off. Mr
poses the women direct the work of look
ing after the comfort of the guests. They
dispatch their corps of page boys to ans
wer calls. They take care of tho keys
and the mail for the different rooms. They
fill orders for flowers, laundry and the
theater. They have charge of the wait
ers who serve meals in the rooms, and
Just as they see that a new arrival is
installed, so they collect his bill and di
rect his departure. They make it unnec
essary for a patron to depend on the
main office, on the first floor, for any
thing whatever.
Not an insignificant duty of the clerks
is to keep complete records of all the
rings, when made and what for. These
records are filed, so that If any question
is raised concerning certain services six
months or a year after rendition, an au
thoritative answer can be given in a
few minutes.
It goes without saying that the clerks
must be intelligent, level-headed, quick
of action, polite and diplomatic enough
to meet and satisfy the whims and cap
rices of the none too easy to please trav
eling public.
The responsible work of the cashiers
is easily apparent when It Is stated that
each of them not Infrequently takes in
5000 a day.
Blgr Txuilc of the Head Lanndreu.
Another Important woman Is the head
of the storeroom. Under her immedi
ate charge are the salads, the fruits, the
ices, etc., and their excellence and proper
serving largely depends upon her abil
ity to direct her assistants.
The head laundress is also a factor to
be reckoned with. She not only has
charge of scores of women, but of many
men as well, the latter doing all the
washing and also the ironing of such
pieces as shirts.
An insight into the amount of work
that her department is called upon to do
may bo gained from the fact that at the
Waldorf-Astoria it is a rule to have about
22,000 sheets and an equal number of
pillow cases for daily use In the 1385
rooms; nearly 10,000 towels for daily use
In SCO bathrooms, and about 15,000 nap
kins, or 6 for each guest for service for
the same period.
The housekeeper, while she is still
given much responsible work, is not so
important as in the old days. Then she
not only directed the chambermaids, the
linen-room girls and the cleaners, but she
also frequently looked after the hangings,
the decorations and sometimes tho re
furnishing. Now she only looks after the
chamber work, the cleaning and the
seamstresses. The rest of her former
duties are performed by separate forces
of men. For example, men are busy the
whole year long doing nothing but taking
down worn lace curtains and replacing
them with fresh ones.
Work: of Women Mck Specialised.
This specializing of work is a feature
of the modem hotel. There are clean
ers, whose sole work It Is to scrub up
Renn, who, on account of the "sweet little
thing" on the East Side, bad favored re
maining at home and "workln' the stiffs,"
was playing his part behind the counter of
a little booth to which he allured the
backbone and intelligence of a great na
tion with cries of "Sixteen to one, gen- ,
tlemen; sixteen gold plunks for one If
you choose the right color. It's a mere
charity I'm offerin you. Jus. to advertise
the clown In the show. Sixteen to one
beats Bryan hollow; step up, gentlemen,'
an try your luck sixteen to one!"
The "sweet little thing" on Second ave
nue would never have recognized' her be
loved "Shorty" in the earnest exhort er be
seeching the crowd to "take a spin on his
wheel," which was the wheel of fortune.
There was a fervor in his speech, and an
Intense look in his face, that, it Is to be
feared, the "sweet little thing" had never
been favored with. The Under World
makes love more or less, as does the
Upper World; like tha Upper World, also,
it becomes really in earnest when it
makes money.
"Dodd gast that squirt of a wheel, any
how! Soy, you behind there, when am I
goln' to win? You got five o' my dollars,
an' I ain't won onc't.
The words were deceiving and unnat
ural, but Mr. Eady's voice was the same
In Ohio as in the "Slide." He was a bet
ter "tool" than "stall," as the Upper
World knew to its sorrow, but "tools"
have no function in sure-thing games,
and be was doing his best to make the
people "bite."
"Roll 'er again.. I'll chance another;
make or break; win or bust. The old
woman ll dress me dow-n, but shucks!
hard words don't lower the price o eggs."
The wheel began to slacken its pace for
the sixth time; the little pea lingered ex
asperatlngly near the blanks; Mr. Renn
made a slight movement with his foot;
the pea moved slowly toward the winning
colors. The wheel stopped.
"Here's your money, sir. See If It's
right before you leave; ten fives an three
tens. Make room for the rest. Sixteen
to one. gentlemen If you choose the right
colors. A mere" charity I'm offerin you,
jus to advertise the show. Step up, gen
tlemen; don't let the grass grow on your
luck. Circus day comes but once a year.
Don't push there. Take" your time. Time's
only thing cheaper'n circus lemonade.
The big tent don't open for a hour yet.
Easy there, I tell you. You fellows there
In front stop your shovin'."
Mr. Burras and Mr. Frood were leading
the innocents to tho slaughter. The in
nocents could hardly wait to be led; they
jostled Mr. Eady aside before he could
count his winnings, and fortune's wheel
had made a number of turns by the time
he broke through the surging mob and
made h!s way to the rear to spur on
those who still held back. It was "a hot
time," such as the four celebrities had
prayed for. "The Hoosler plneth for ed
dlcatlon," Mr. Eady said, and the Hoosler
got it. The three "stalls" had to turn
policemen and keep the crowd back, it
was so eager to learn by experience. Dol
lars, in silver and paper, were thrust Into
Mr. Renn's hands with a rapidity which
at times' came very near making him
forget to halt the fortunate pea at the
losing colors. There was grumbling among
the losers, but fatuity is infinite and in
exhaustible in the ranks behind the first,
and people In the rear elbowed those In
front of them aside in their haste to ben
efit the eloquent Renn, Sixteen in ex
change for one, and every man convinced
beforehand of his natural and Inalienable
luck! Cornvllle did not come to its senses
till a few minutes before the entertain
ment in the big tent began.
Then there were remarks more militant
than consoling. "Mob 'em!" cried one in
dignant citizen who bad sowed dollars
and reaped wisdom and scorned It. The
life of a celebrity is hard. There were
even numbers- of the crowd who suggest
ed tar and feathers. But they reckoned
without the Powers That Rule.
"Clear the way, here," commanded the
Chief of Police, at the head of an im
posing squad sworn in for the day. "No
crowding." The Chief received 10 per
cent of the net proceeds.
"But, Chief, we've been done," protested
a bucolic chorus.
"Get out, you mllksklns; go In an see
the show!" and the Chief whisked them
aside.
"But. Shief," screamed a little German,
"I vant mein money back. I loose two
to tell you."
"Choke It off, Dutchy: you're excited.
Take a run around the ring with the baby
elephant."
"Bel Gott, I vill do noddlngs of the
kint. I go straight to de Mayor. Vill
some off you beeplea go mlt me?"
The entertainment had begun, and the
"beeples" were there to see it, but ten,
who had lost heavily, agreed to accom-
tho bathroom floors. The sweepers of
halls are not called upon to clean rooms.
Tho women in the glass pantries do noth
ing day in and day out except to wash
the jrlaesware by hand. Even the
humblest woman employe has her own
special task and is never saddled with an
other. For this reason the hotel does not find
it a difficult matter to secure the best
servants in the world. Unlike domestics
in private houses, the chambermaids know
that when they have" finished making the
beds they will not be ordered to polish
the silver or to scrub the front door steps,
or be set at cleaning windows. Servants
are -only too eager to secure employment
In a place where their time is their own
after certain tasks arc ended, and wages
are liberal to boot.
Where Women Are Sanerlor to Men
In general, managera of modem hotels
have come to recognize tho fact that, ex
cepting the waiters and a few others,
women are better equipped than men in
many respects to do much of the work
necessary in the. making of a successful
establishment. Of the 1355 men employed
In the Waldorf-Astoria, the greater part
are waiters. Women are used as cashiers,
because, unlike their masculine rivals,
they can be said never to make mistakes,
so rare are they. The glass pantries are
in charge of women for the simple reason
that experience has shown that men
smash delicate glassware when they try
to cleanse it. A woman floor clerk Is as
good. and. because of her tact, often su
perior to a man. And so It goes, even
the kitchen, the stronghold of the Im
ported chef, being generously given over
to women.
While nurss for children -and sick
guests, or shopping guides for out-of-town
patrons are not yet on the list of the
women employed by the up-to-date hotel.
it does furnish Itself and those within its
walls protection by means of women, as
well as men, detectives. And these petti
coat ateuths are found to be extremely ef
ficient. Priest Joins the Elks.
What is thought to have been tha first in
itiation of Catholic priests into the Order of
Elks baa taken place, in New York. The Rev.
William II. J. Beany, chaplain, U. S. N.. and
the Rev. James Bryne, who has a Etaten
Island parish, have Joined the secret society
which is favored especially by theatrical peo
ple. There baa never been any opposition on
the part of the church to the laity Joining- the
Elks, which Is regarded In the light of a
fraternal society, and it Is well known that
thousands of Catholics throughout the coun
try are members of the order, but this is the
first Instance, as far as known, where priests
hs.ve become members.
Xrs, BBckaer's School.
Mrs. Simon Bolivar Backser has recently
organized a country school at Glea Lily, Xy.,
tho family estate, for the children of the ten
ants and worklngroen on the lace, A yau&r
woman has, been engaged te conduct the scsteel.
and about 90 psplls are enrol le
pany the -German to the Mayor's office.
They were not influential or prominent,
but the majority of them were voters, and
the Mayor was amenable to reason when
reason took the form of applied mathe
matics. "Do you mean to say that they are run
ning skin games gambling on the show
grounds?" asked the Initiated Mayor.
"Bel Gott, dat's vat I tell you. "Von
man. he tell me I get seventy dollar for
two. Dot Is a lie. Alzo I looze mein two
dollar. Ven beeples loose money dat Is
gampling, in Chermanny, in Amerika, bei
Gott, eferywhere."
"Gentlemen, you surprise me. I will see
that those games are stopped Immediate
ly. I am glad you called my attention
to the matter. I have to thank you in
the name of the City of Cornvllle. Good
afternoon, gentlemen. It is upon such
public-spirited citizens as you that every
official who Is interested in good govera-
;nent must depend!"
The afternoon entertainment of the
"Great and Only" was drawing to Its
close. The chariots were tearing around
the big ring on the last lap; the specta
tors were getting ready to leave, and the
performers for the "concert" after tho
show" were peeking through the cur
tains of their dressing-rooms to see how
many had been persuaded to wait for
them to do their "stunts." The four ce
lebrities and the gentleman in the full-
jeweled regimentals of a sport tho "spe
cial officer" of the "Great and Only"
were in solemn conclave Just outside tha
main entrance.
"The chief says the Mayor has ordered
the games shut down," said the special
officer. "Told me to tell you he'd have
to make a pinch If you give the wheel
another turn. It's all off."
"But we ain't even got our flxln' money
back yet," objected Mr. Burras. "We'll
be losers if wo have to quit now," He
threw an accent of really moral Indigna
tion, into the word losers.
"Losers in a-pig's eye!" exclaimed Mr.
Frood. "If you'll stand for the dip" and
he gave the special officer a dig In the
ribs with his thumb "we'll get our dough
back ten times over. How much commis
sion have you got to haver
"Seem how things Is runnin' I can't
risk It under 25 per cent."
"Will you square the hollers?"
"If they don't holler too loud."
"Done!"
It was the crowd that was "done." Mr.
Eady graciously consented to resume his
old role of "tool," and the other three
hummed the tune of the pickpocket's
song:
Oh. we are three stalls.
Three "Jolly old stalls.
We live like royal Turks;
We're on the dip to win our chuck
To hell with the roan that works!
The band began to play, the flap of the
main entrance to the big tent was thrown
open, the crowd rushed out, and the four
celebrities started "to do business."
So long as Cornvllle lasts and reminis
cences are permissible, the story of tho
business that the four did will be told and
retold. It was a revenge which has be
come classic, even In blase gun circles.
As Mr. Frood graphically put it, "The
crowd was simply ripped open." When
it had dispersed and men went over the
grounds to clean up for the rush and
departure of the evening, the "weeded
leathers" filled to overflowing a bushel
basket. The Cornvllle public prints of
the next day's Issue estimated that $3000
changed hands during the short snaca of
time that the four were active. There was
"beefing" galore, but the "Great and
Only" folded Its tent and stole away In
the night, and the special officer squared
no "hollers."
The life In the "Slide" wflj nt Its hefr-ht
The three "darkles" were strumming
tneir guitars and vociferating In chorus.
Tho room was full of nmnit. tho itmi.
man of the "beat" was getting his "eye-
opener- at tne back door, and the Salva
tion Army lassie in iun unirorm was os
tentatiously vendlnc her tracts. TVi tmvr
celebrities sat at their favorite table.
drinking cnampagne. There had been
toasts to Cornvllle, to Mayor Hochhelm
er, to the "Great and Only," and to the
Crowd, and Mr. Frood rose to reply to
umo.
"The dear old state" and stmrv
Fourth of July orator's attitude "may
sne Keep her junctions open, cherish her
fixers, never go back on guns, an' breed
a fresh crop o suckers every year! Drink
it down!"
Chorus: "Drink it down!"
And the three "darkles" ntmpv n .-
u w 4ivu mc
chorus:
Get your money's worth. I've had ma gin an
feel mighty glad;
Get your money's worth, an' have a good time.
but .don't get bad;
Get your money's worth, dance yourself clean
on tne earth;
If you want to have fun
Bring your razor an vaisr mn
An get your money's worth!
(Copyright. 1003.)
TIIAVEJLEKS GUIDE.
threat Northern
Ticket Office 122 Third SL Phone 68D
2 TRANSCONTINENTAL O
TRAINS DAILY .
Direct connection via Seattle nr
Spokane. For tickets, rates and
full information call on or address
H. Dickson, C. T. A., Portland, Or.
JAPAN - AMERICAN LINE
TOSA MARU
"Tor Japan, China and all Asiatic points, will
About May 16th
Nome, Xanana
FROM SEATTLE.
S. S. "Ohio"
Sails June 3, 2 P. M.
S. S. Conemaugh, June 6
(CARRIES LIVE STOCK.)
S. S. Indiana, June 10.
FOR RATES, ETC.. APPLY TO
EMPIRE TRANSPORTATION
COMPANY,
007 FIRST AVENUE. SEATTLE.
WILLAMETTE RIVER ROUTE
OREGON CITY T3JUSPQRTATIQK CO.
Steamer PJMONA. for Salem. Independence.
Albany and Corvallla. leaves 0:43 A. M. Tues
day. Thursday. Saturday.
Steamer ALTON A, for Buttevtlle. WUson
ville, Champdeg. Newberg and Dayton, leaves
7 A. M. Monday. Wednesday. Friday.
Steamer LEONA. for Oregon City, leaves
dally S:S0. 11:30 A- M.. 3 and 0:13 P. M.
Leaves Oregon City. 7. 10 A. M.. 1:30. 4:30
P. M. Round trln 25c
DOCK FOOT OF TAYLOR STREET.
Oregon phon Main 40
ANCHOR LINE U. S. MAIL STEAMSHIPS
NEW YORK. LONDONDERRY. GLASGOW.
NEW YORK. GIBRALTAR AND NAPLES.
Superior accommodation. Excellent Cuisine.
The comfort o passengers carefully con
sidered. Single or Round Trip. Tickets lsoued
between Nw York and Scotcn, English, Irish
and all principal continental points at at
tractive rates. Send for Book of Tour. Kor
tickets or general Information apply to say
local sxeat of the Anchor Line or to
liSN'DXRSON BROS.. Gen'L, Ageats, Caleage.
Shopj Line
an Union Pacific
3 TRAINS to the East DAILY
Thrrmvh Pullman te.N wti . TA...
leg-cars dolly to Omaha, Chicago. Spokane;
tourist sleeping-car daily to Kansas City:
through Pullman tourist sleeping-cars (person
ally conducted) weekly to Chicago. Kansas
v-iij. ou iouis ana jiempnu: reclining cesar
ean (seats tree) to the East dally.
UNION DEPOT. .. Arrive.
CHICAGO-PORTLAND :20 A. M. 4:30 P. 1L
SPECIAL. Dally. DallT.
For the East via. Hua:- T
ingtoa.
SPO'E LYER. 0:00 P. M 7:35 A. M.
For Eastern Washing- Dallr Daily
ton. Walla Walla. Lew- Dll3r
Iston. Coeur d'AIen
and Gt. Northern, polnt
rJ.1"10 . EGRESS- 5:J3 P. M. 10:30 A. M
For the East via. Hunt- Dallr. Daily.
1 net on.
. ASP RIVER SCHEDULE.
SA FRANCISCO ,S:ou y. U. 5:00 P. U.
Steamer Geo. W. Cider. '
May 2, 13. 22. Steam
er Columbia. April 27;
17. 17. 27; Alnsi
worth Dock.
For A8TORIA. and -wayi8:w P. M. 5:00 P.
points, connecting with Daily ex. Dally
teamer for Ilwaco and.Bunday. except
rorth Beach, steamer Saturday. Sunday.
Hassalo. Ash-st. dock. 10 P. M.
8:43 A. SI. About
For SALEM. ConrallU Mondays. 6:00 P. M.
and -way points, steam- Wednesday Tuesdays,
er Ruth. Ash -.street Fridays. Thursdays.
nvk (watr PrmlttlniO Satunlnv
For DATTOX. Oregon?7:00 A. il, 3:00 P. M
Clty and Yamhill River Tuesdays. Mondays,
points, steamer Elmore, Thursdays, Wednesday
Aj5Itreet Dock- Saturdays. Fridays.
HVater. pennltUng). I
For LEW1STON. Ida-U:C5 A. M. About
50, " t?. w.a3r Polau. Dally 3:00 P. M.
trom Rlpaxla, Wash., except Dally ex.
steamers Spokane or Saturday. Friday.
imra ana v
Telephone Main 712.
PORTLAND & ASIATIC
STEAMSHIP CO.
For Tokoharna and Hong Kong, calling at
Kobe. Nagasaki and Shanghai, taking freight
via connecting steamers tor Manila. Port Ar
thur and Vladivostok.
IXDRAVELLI SAILS ABOUT MAT 23.
For rates and lull Information call on or ad
dress officials or agents of O. R. & N. Co.
EAST via.
uuin
Lulu 11 ucjjot
Arrive
OVERLAND EX
FHKSS TltALNa,
S:34 P. 1L
tor balera. o,e-
7:45 A. M.
burg, Amnd, s;
rauitnto. ugaen.
can Francisco, Mo
tive, Los Angeiej,
bl Paso, Mew Or
leans and the Eal.
Uornlng train, con
sects at YVoodburn
laally except bun
say; Willi train tot
iiount Angel, SU
icrlon, vtt r o w a s
r 1 1 1 e. bynngneio.
endllng ana Ma
tron. Albany passenger .
7:00 P. U.
4:00 P. M.
10:10 A. M.
Connects at Wood
burn with Mf- An
tl aad SUrertoa
local.
"orvallls passenger.
7:30 A. it.
'14:60 P.M. I Sheridan passenger.'8:25 A. M.
Dally. HDsily exempt Sunday.
PORTLAKD-OSWEGO SUBURBAN SERVICE
AND
YAMHILL DIVISION.
Leave Portland dally tor UkWao at 7:39 A.
M.. 12:E0. 2:03. 3:25. 8:20, 8:23. 8:50. 10:10
P. M. Dally except Sunday. 5:30. 6:30. 8:33.
30:25 A. M.. 4:00. U:K P. M. B unity oaly,
9:00 A. M.
Returning from Oswego, arrive Portland dally
8:30 A. U.. 1:63. 8:03. 4:33, 8:13, 7:33, 8:35.
11:10 P. M. Dally except Sunday. 6:23. 7:23.
8:30. 10:20. 11:13 A. M. Except Monday. 12:24
A. IX. Sunday only, 10:00 A. M.
Leave from same depot for Dalles and iater
medlate points dally except Sunday 4:00 P. M.
Arrive Portland 10:20 A. M.
The Independence-Monmouth motor line oper
'ttes dally to Monmouth and Alrlie. connecting
with S. P. Cc's trains at Dallas and Inde
pendence. First-class rebate tickets on sale from Port
land to Sacramento and San Francisco; net
rate. J 17.60: berth. S3. Second-class fare. 113.
without rebate or berth: second-class berth.
32.30.
Tickets to Eastern points and Europe. Also
Japan. China. Honolulu and Australia. '
CITY TICKET OFFICE, corner Third sad
Washington streets. Phone Main 712.
-rimr nnn
6T r lAKI)
rrvTiiisv
Art h I UAI N
l TsTsS I V IlirilllJ
kLv,ll4 PflPTI AND
Denart- Arrivn
Puget Sound Limited for Ta-
coma. Seattlo. Olympiad
South Bond and Gray s '
Harbor points :Z0 am 5:30 pm
North Coast Limited for Ta-
coma, Seattle. Spokane.
Butte, St. Paul. New York.
Boston and all points East
and Southeast 3:00 pm 7:00 am
Twin City Express for Ta-
coma. Seattls, Spokane,
Helena. St. Paul. Minne
apolis, Chicago, New York,
Boston and all points East
and Southeast 11:45 pm 7:00 pm
North Coast-Kansas City-
St. Louis Special, for Ta-
coma, Seattle, Spokane.
Butte, Billings. Denver.
Omaha, Kansas City, St.
Louis and all points East
and Southeast 3:00 pm 7:00 am
All trains dally except cn South Bend branch.
A- D. CHARLTON, Assistant General Pas
senger Agent. 255 Morrison St., corner Third.
Portland. Or.
For South -Eastern Alaska
' LEAVE SEATTLE, SJ P. M..
will OiWli
TLE. May 3, 15, 27; CITY OF
TOPEKA. May 19. 3ft COT-
Steamers connect at San
Francisco with company's
jr ornla, Mexico and Humboldt
obtain folder. RUnr-
8tArrLcHls'H. GLBIM. 240 Wash
IngfoPI!lPortlSuf F. W CARLBTON, 007
p.rifl r. . Tacoma: Gt-OuGE w. at-DRE-SNcrSwc-tern
Ticket Office. 1U
t.-u Seattle. C. D. DUJANPi. uen.
85!" Agendo" Market ,t. Tteket Ofllce. 4
New Montgomery sL. San Francisco.
Astoria & Columbia
River Railroad Co.
Depot Fifth nnd
I Street.
AKKlVJbi
For Maygers. Katnler.
Clatskanl. Westport
Clifton. Astoria. War
restes. Flavei. Ha
seed. Fort Steveas,
Gcarhart Pic. Seaside.
Astoria and Se&saor...
Express Dally.
Astoria Express.
Dally.
s-.ee a. m.
11 A. il
Tlkt eOee, MS MarrUea aC aad Ucdoa Deyet.
i, a XAYO. Oea. Pass. Agt., Astrla. Oc
SIS
Xot a darlc office la tlae Imlldl&si
absolutely flrcproofj electric lljrhts
and artesian -rvatcr; perfect sanita
tion and tborongli ventilation ele
vators ran day and nlghc
Rooms.
ANDERSON. OUSTAV, Attoreey-at-Law..JU
ASSOCIATED PRESS; E. L. Powell. Mgr.-WW
AUSTEN. F. C. Manager for Oregon and
Washington Bankers' Life Association of
Des Moines, Is, 502-303
BAAR. DR. GUSTAV. Phys. and Surg..b07-iwX4
BANKERS- LIFE ASSOCIATION Op DES
MOINES. 1A.; F. C Austen. Mgr 302-303
BENJAMIN, K. W., Dentist 3U
BERNARD, G.. Cashier Co-Operative ilsr-
cantlle Co J12-213
BIN i ANGER, OTTO S.. Physician and
sOrgeon u 1-403
BROOK. WILBUR t. Circulator Orego-
nlaa .... :oi
BROWN. MXRA. il. D 313-J14
BRUEKE, DIC G. ,E., Phys 41 1-412-U3-41
CAMPBELL, WM. M.. Medical Refereo
Equitable Life 700
CANNING. M. J oij-cuJ
CARD WELL. DR. J. R.. Dentist 5
CAUKIN, G. E., District Agent Travelers
Insurance Company 713
CHICAGO ARTIFICIAL LIMB CO.; W. T.
Dickson, Manager ...................601
CHURCHILL. MRS. E. J 718-717
COFFEY, DR. R. C, Surgeon...... 4U3-Ui
COGHLAN. DR. J. N 713-714-
COLUMBLV TELEPHONE CO 613-S10
CONNELL. DR. E. De WITT. Eye. Ear.
Nose and Throat (S13-814
Cu-OPEKATIVE MERCANTILE CO.; J. F.
Olsen. Gen. Mgr.; Q. Bernard. Cashier..12-1&
CORNELIUS. C. W.. Phys. and Surgeon...2U3
COLLIER. P. i'.. Publisher; aP. McGulro,
Manager .. 413
DAY, J. G. & L N 31a
DEVERE, A. E 403
DiCbJsU-N. DR. J. F.. Physician 713-..
EDITORIAL ROOMS .. . Eighth Floor
EVENING TELEGRAM 325 Alder Strert
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SO
CIETY; L. Samuel, Mgr.; G. S. Smith.
Cashier io
FENTON, J. D.. Physician and Surg...609-31o
FENTON. DR. HICKS a. Eye and Ear... .311
FENTON. MATTHEW F.. Dentist 509
GALVANL W. H., Engineer and Draughts
man tsoo
GEARY, DR. E. P., Phys. and Surgeon... .4W
G1ESY. A. J.. Physician and Surgeon....70-71O
GILBERT. DR. J. ALLEN. Physician.. .401-403
GOLDMAN, WILLIAM. Manager Manhat
tan Life Ins. Co. of New York 209-210
GRANT, FRANK S.. Attorney-at-Law 817
ORIS WOLD & PHEGLEY. Tailors.
131 Sixth Street
HAMMAM BATHS. Turkish and Russian-
800-301-303
HAMMOND. A. B 310
HOLLISTER. DR. O. a. Physician and
Surgeon .. 504-505
IDLZ.MAN. C M.. Attorney-at-Law. .418-17-13
JEFFREYS, 8. T., Attorney-at-Law 313
JEFFREYS. DR. ANNICE F.. Phys. ana
Surgeon. Women and Children only 400
JOHNSON, W. C 315-318-317
KADY, MARK T.. Supervisor of Agents,
Mutual Reserve Life Ins. Co 003
LANE. E. L.. Dentist 513-5U
LAWBAUGH. DR. E. A. S04-8O3
LITTLEFIELD. H. R.. Phys. and Surgeon.. 20a
MACKAY, DR. A. E.. Phys. and Surg. .711-71-MANHATTAN
LIFE INSURANCE CO. OF
NEW YORK; W. Goldman. Mgr ...... 208-2M
MARSH. DR. R. J.. Phys. and Surg 404-400
McCOY NEWTON. Attorney-at-Law 715
Mcelroy, dr. j. g.. Phys. & sur.701-702-703
McFADEN. MISS IDA E.. Stenogranher. .01
McGINN. HENRY E-. Attorney-at-Law. 311-12
McGUIRE. S. P.. Manager P. F Collier.
Publisher . .. 413
McKENZIE DR. P. L-. Phys. and Surg.312-13
METT. HENRY , 213
MILLER. DR. HERBERT C Dentist and
Oral Surgeon 003-609
MOSSMAN. DR. E. P.. Dentist ...513-314
MUTUAL RESERVE LIFE INS. CO.;
Maik T. Kady. Supervisor of Agents.604-03
NICHOLAS. HORACE B.. Attorney-at-LaE.71tf
NICHOLS, THE- DRS.. Phys. & Surgns.00607
NILE 3. M. M.. Cashier Manhattan Life
Insurance Company of New York.. ....209
NOTTAGE. DR. G. H.. Dentist 609
OLSEN. J. F.. General Manager Co-Ob era -
tlva Mercantile Co 212-213
OREGON INFIRMARY OF OSTEOPATHY
OREOONIAN BARBER SHOP; MARSCH
& GEORGE. Proprietors 129 Sixth Street
OREGONIAN EDUCATIONAL BUREAU:
J. F. Strauhal. Manager.. ... SOO
PACIFIC MERCANTILE CO.; F. M.
Schwartx, Agent 211
PAUUE. B. 8.. Attorney-at-Law. ........ .BIS
PORTLAND EYE AND EAR INFIRMARY
..Ground Floor. 133 Sixth Street
QUIMBY, L. P. w- Game and Forestry
Warden T18
REED. C J.. Executive Special Agent
Manhattan Life Ins. Co. of New York.... 209
HEED. WALTER. Optician... 133 Sixth Street
RICKENBACH. Dr. J. F.. Eye. Ear. Nose
snd Throat 701-703
ROSENDALE. O. M.. Metallurgist and
Mining Engineer 313
RYAN. J. 3.. Attorney-at-Law..-.... 815
SAMUEL. L.. Manager Equitable Life 304
SHERWOOD. J. W.. State Commander K.
O. T. il. -. 31T
SMITH. DR. L. B.. Osteopath 400-410
SMITH. GEORGE 3.. Cashier Equitable
Life - 30S
STOLTE. DR. CHAS. E.. Dentist 704-708
SURGEON OF THE S. P. RY. AND N. P.
TERMINAL CO. 708
SUPERINTENDENT'S OFFICE ........201
TUCKER. DR. GEO. F.. Dentist 810-811
VESTER. A.. Special Agent Manhattan
Life 209
WILEY. DR. JAMES O. a. Phys. & Sur.708-9
WILSON. DR. EDWARD N. Physician
and Surgeon 304-305
WILSON. DR. GEO. F., Phys. & Surg.700-707
WILSON. DR. HOLT C. Phys. & Surg.507-508
WPLF-MORSE CO. 433
WOOD. DR. "W. L.. Physician. .411-412-413-414
Offices may tie had fey applying; to
tne superintendent of tne ball dins;,
room 201. second floor. '
MEM 80 CURE
IflLn KO Pit
way to perfect aaahood. Th VACUUM
TREATMENT cures 7 without aw&slaa of
all nervous- or diseases ot the generative or
rans. sueh as lost lsaabood. exhaustive. Arsis,
varicocele, isasotescy. etc Mea are qutekly rs
stord t perfect health aa4 streagth. Write
fat circular- Correjj4enw waMsatUl.
THX H X A LTH APPIANCX CO, Tm ?-4
iUs DetMaU TMltMtK. SMMht. WmsV