The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current, December 28, 1902, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, DgCEBER 28, 1902.
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TODAY'S WEATHER Partly cloudy, with
possibly an occasional shower during the fore
noon; winds becoming northerly.
TESTERDATS WEATH ER Maximum tem
perature, 43; minimum temperature. 37; pre
cipitation, 0.21 inch.
PORTXAXD, SUXDAY, DEC. 28, 1002.
THE STATE CONSTITUTION.
The annual meeting of the Oregon
State Historical Society for 1902. which
occurred a few days back, was given
over to consideration of the making and
the makers of the Oregon state constitu
tion. The formal address of the occa
sion and the speeches which followed
it were reminiscent and personal rather
than critical, but nearly every person
who spoke gave an estimate of the state
constitution. "It has," said Judge John
B. McBrlde, the formal speaker of the
occasion, "caused less difference of opin
ion for the courts than any organic law
with which I am acquainted. It has
protected for nearly half a century the
life, liberty and property of the people."
"The framers of the Oregon constitu
tion," said Judge R. P. Boise, "were
founded in solid moral principles and
their minds were set on great questions
of liberty and policy. They were men
who would not sell honor for the wealth
of the Indies. Our constitution has been
a godssnd to the people. Although we
may Increase in wealth, we need not In
crease In extravagance." "In my asso
ciation with men," said Judge Geprge H.
Wiiliams, "I never saw a body which
exhibited more real ability, more solid
statesmanship or more complete knowl
edge of what a constitution should be
than -did the members of the Oregon
constitutional convention." "The con
stitution of Oregon." said Mr. W. D.
Fenton, the president of the day, "Is a
model of clear, succinct fundamental
law. Attempts of later days to Improve
fundamental law by putting Into it stat
ute law are mischievous." "For many
years," said Governor T. T. Geer, "I
nave been persistently opposed to radi
cal constitutional revision. I believe in
letting well enough alone."
This la high praise. Something of its
tone may have been drawn from the
sentiment of the occasion; but we be.
lieve that it reflects pretty fairly the
judgment and feeling of the people of
Oregon respecting their state constltu
Uon. Indeed, we have in the failure of
many attempts to modify this constltu
tlon a positive assertion of the respect
popularly entertained for the work of
the pioneer constitution-makers. Even
at points where the weight of argument
hag clearly supported proposals for
change, the people have declined to
make it, in the fear, doubtless, that once
begun, the work of tearing the consti
tution to pieces would not cease until
the whole fabric was destroyed. And
when It has been suggested from time
to time In the State Legislature -that a
convention be called to make a new
constitution, the popular voice has been
emphatic in dissent. The people of Ore
gon clearly are satisfied with their con
stitution, preferring to suffer such
trifling annoyances as are inseparable
from its limitations than to risk the dan
gers of a new fundamental law. The
people clearly have no hopes that a con
stitutional convention to be elected at
this time would equal the ability, states
manship and representative quality of
the convention which assembled at Sa
lem in 1857.
The point is well taken. In 1857 Ore
gon was a little community of pioneers
with almost no development of the "in
terests" which now make such persist
ent appeal to the lawmaking and law
enforcing powers. There were no polit
ical "machines," unless the little Lane
clique and the -missionary clique could
be bo called; there was no criminal
class; there were no large business or
ganizations, no railroads, no landgrab
bers, no self-seekers of any kind. The
members of the convention were chosen
by neighborhood election entirely free
from the motives and methods of con
temporary politics, the single purpose
being to select good and true men; and
in pioneer society, which estimates men
by their qualities rather than by outside
and artificial standards, the good and
true men are easy to Identify. And
when the convention came together at
Salem there was a common purpose to
make an efficient fundamental law.
There was no lobby of importunate
claimants for special favors; no schem
ing corporation lawyers seeking to work
"jokers" here and there into the body
of the code; no effort to promote apy
private ani interested purpose In con
nection irith the provisions of the con
stitution. The one subject of political
f,.rnf associated with the organiza
tion of the new state was an ambitious
rivalry among men villages oi ine
nrniornette Valley for the honors and
3?nf the state capital.
rt course, human nature was "not es
sentially liferent in 1857 from the pres
S ttaft. M contended for what they
SLted then abey- do now, but m the
pioneer conditions of the country there
was nothing that anybody wanted from
the state, strange ay It may appear, but
good government The spirit of the con
stitutional convention was essentially
the spirit of the whole community; Its
wish was the single one of providing a
system of civil government that would
protect the life, liberty and property of
the people.
It must be admitted that In some
things the view of the constitution-makers
was limited and narrow suitably to
the times and conditions. It will not be
denied that In some perhaps In many
respects changes would be desirable.
These concessions?, we believe, are uni
versally made. But the instinct with
which the people of the state oppose all
suggestions of radical constitutional re
vision is a sound one. If a constitu
tional convention were to meet at this
time. It could not fair to be a football
between opposing selfish interests). . It
would be filled up, not with men chosen
for personal and represMitative char
acter, but for subserviency to private
and mercenary interests. Every great
department of private Interest would
have- "representation" on. the( floor of
the convention, while no member of that
body would have the .real authority of
one or more political bosses wholly out
side the lines of official responsibility.
The lobby would be crowded from be
ginning to end with the agents of special
and private purposes. It would literally
be a grafter's harvest. Whatever might
come from" It nobody can foretell; but
one thing Is certain, namely, that it
would not be a code of which half a
century later it could be said to bor
row the phrase of Judge Boise "It is
a godsend to the people."
NEGRO LABOR IX THE TROPICS.
T. Thomas Fortune, the editor of the
New York Age, Is Special Labor Com
missioner appointed by the President to
visit the Philippines and Hawaii, and Is
the ablest negro journalist In the coun
try. Mr. Fortune thinks the labor prob
lem In Hawaii and the Philippines 'can
be solved by the importation of Ameri
can negroes. Vice-President Scarbor
borough, of Wilberforce University, at
Zenia, O., agrees with Mr. Fortune In
the opinion that the Southern negro is
the best possible labor for our tropical
possessions, since our exclusion laws
prevent the Importation of Chinese. At
the North the negro finds everything
against him. He meets boycott, refusal
to work by his side and closed doors of
labor unions; he meets proscription, dis
franchisement, colorphobla, all over the
land. In the South an educated negro
of refinement must ride in a "Jim Crow"
car with the most brutal and filthy
creatures of his race; hotels and places
of amusement are closed to him, his
civil and legal rights are subject to re
striction, he is lynched on mere suspi
cion of crime. The deportation of eight
millions of negroes to Africa or South
America, a Quixotic scheme seriously
entertained by Abraham Lincoln, is, of
course, out of the question, but Mr. For
tune and Professor Scarborough think
that we should seriously consider the
possibility of using our new possessions
as an opportunity for the American ne
gro. Mr. Fortune once made the saga-
clous remark that "the more dark peo
ples that we have under our flag the
better It will be for those of us who
came out of the forge and fire of Ameri
can slavery."
There is small color prejudice In Eng
land, because at a court reception or In
the drawlng-rcom entertainments of the
highest society you not seldom meet dls
tlngulohed representatives of the dark
races. The Arab dignitaries are dark,
and some of them have a strain of negro
blood. The Hindoo and Malay Princes
are very dark.'and so are the chief men
of Great Britain's native subjects In the
Islands of the Pacific. So common In
English society are men of color that
such a thing as the exclusion of an edu
cated, well-behaved, well-bred man from
an English' hotel or theater Is unknown,
and the same Is true of the watering-
places and health resorts of" Continental
Europe. Colorphobla exists in America
because negro slavery is too recently
extinct to permit of the dying out of
ancient prejudice and the race hos
tility that hns been nursed by the
premature endowment of the negro wliii
universal suffrage. President Thomas
Jefferson Invited Mr. Melbourne, an ed
ucated tourist from Europe, to visit him
at Monticello, and among those who ac
cepted Mr. Jefferson's invitation to meet
this negro were Chief Justice Marshall
and the famous lawyer and orator, Will
lam Wirt.
It has always been comparatively easy
for Southern men of Intellect and cul
ture to tolerate the presence of Intelli
gent, educated, well-bred men of color,
but colorphobla has its most tenacious
life among Americans who belong to the
vulgar, snobbish rich, or belong to the
lower classes In point of brains and In
telligence. In England the court and
the nobility fix the law of social dlstlnc
tion, and since the court circle declines
to treat color as a bar sinister, the Eng
lish people naturally are not colorphob-
Ists. Mr. Fortune and Professor Scar
borough confess that the present social
situation is one of hardship for the ne
gro, and think his condition might be a
good deal ameliorated if American ne
groes should emigrate in large numbers
to the Philippines. There are not many
negroes in the Philippines today, and
those who have gone thither are doing
exceedingly well. They have no race
prejudice to combat from the native,
and when compared with white men of
qual attainments they possess the van
.tage-ground. The ablest and most sue
cessful teacher that our Government
has thus far obtained for the Philippines
Is an educated American negro, a grad
uate, of a Northern college. The" Fill
pinos and the Japanese, who hate white
people most, receive the colored man
with open arms, and are delighted when
they see and hear a man of color of su
peror ability and attainments.
Mr. Fortune and Professor Scarbor
ough think our Oriental possessions pre
sent a rich field and enlarged oppor
tunities to American colored men of edu
cation, push and energy. This is true
not only of the Philippines, but of Ja
pan, Corea, Slam, Java and Ceylon
Why should not the educated negro, the
capable negro, be able to better not only
himself, but the Oriental land of hi
adoption? The Filipinos prefer colored
men as school-teachers and In other offi
clal capacities. The negro would not be
a member of an Isolated, experimental
negro colony, like Liberia; he would
simply be a valuable and indispensable
factor In the Philippines. The Chinese
are sure to be excluded, and their placea
must be taken by labor that is both
willing arid able to work in the tropica
The Southern negro Is trainedto culti
vate sugar cotton and tobacco; he can
work under malarial environment that
destroys in the white man all capacity
for manual labor in the tropica
The Filipino is a sharp trader, but he
cannot or will not do the labor hitherto
performed by the Chinese. Somebody
must do it; the American negro Is equal
to this kind of work. Why should he
not do It? The Fllipino'4hlnks the Amer,
ican colored roan Is "a distant relative of
theirs," and, above all, he is not a white
man. The colored regiments of the
Army that have served in the Philip
pines have been afforded an opportunity
to see and study the country and Its
people, and not a few of the best of
those negro soldiers propose to stay in
the Philippines and-to. start out In life
there. The trouble will be- to .get thrifty,
energetic negroes to settle in the Philip
pines. The Southern negro Is a man of
very strong local attachments; the
Southern planters will do their best to
keep them from going, and of course the
Ignorant, thriftless negro riffraff that
swarms in cities or belongs to the des
perado clara would be worthless as an
industrial factor in the Orient.
O GROUND FOR XATIONAXj VANITT.
David Blspham, who stands in the
front rank of men of musical culture
and learning, and is an American by
birth and breeding, says In the current
number of the North American Review
that while we are a very energetic, en
terprising people, great traders, uni
versal money-makers, we have yet to
achieve a really great civilization; that
we are as grossly utilitarian as were an
cient Tyre and Sldon, whose merchant
ships traded with all the known world
but who contributed nothinsr to" the
world's present Inheritance from the
past of art, laws, literature or Institu
tions. Mr. Bispham points out that
America has no original art or literature
of its own, and he is right. He admits
that we have some fine singers whose
whole training had to be obtained in
Europe; that we have a few painters of
distinction of American birth, like
Whistler, whose life is spent In Lon
don; that we have a few 'American
sculptors, like Crawford and Powers,
who lived and died In Rome, but that
there Is no fine American art in paint
ing or sculpture that Is of native- birth
and home nurture in the sense that we
speak of English art, or French art.
We have no body of great original lit
erature, like England or France. There
has never been an American musical
composer who could write a fine opera,
while Germany, if she perished tomor-r
row, would leave behind a bequest of
opera music and lyrical music that
would be as certain of immortality as
are the Iliad or any great masterpiece
of ancient or modern literature.
Mr. Blspham's view that our Ameri
can civilization dees not call today for
any inordinate- amount of national con
ceit is both timely and well taken. We
have in a century achieved no large
body of original American literature.
Outside of Hawthorne arid Foe, the work
of our writers has small permanent
value. We cannot claim the work of such
clever American humorists as Bret
Harte and Mark Twain as belonging to
the permanent; they are the artists of
fleeting moods of speech and action. Of
all Cooper's novels, the "Leather Stock
ing Tales" alone have any claim to per
manent literature. Holmes and Long
fellow are both secend-rate poets erected
on English models, while Bryant Is an
American whispering Wordsworth to
our native woods. None of our Amer
ican historians compare in ability with
Macaulay, Froude or Green. -Emerson
said that Bancroft, Preecoit and Motley
never rose above the .limestone state In
style; marble, which is crystallized lime
stone, they never reached. It is Eafe to
say that In literature our accoiripllsh-
ment has been very small; we publish
an enormous number of- books, but of
solid, memorable literature of sul gen
eris quality Hawthorne is our most re
markable product, and foreign critics
rank Poe as most noteworthy after him.
Men of fine talent for the transient we
have in considerable numbers, but such
men are not the men of literary genius
that create a memorable and permanent
literature.
If we turn from literature to states
manship, leaving out Franklin, Wash
ington, Hamilton and Jefferson, who
were the fathers rather than the chil
dren of the American experiment, we have
Lincoln and Webster, and Webster was
a great orator, who turned to Edmund
Burke, a far greater statesman, for his
soundest political thought. If we turn
to jurisprudence there is only one man,
Chief Justice Marshall, who deserves to
rank with the great English jurists,
Mar.sfield, Eldon and Stcwell. The very
principles of public law and freedom we
organized into our experiment were In
herited from England and were defend
ed and expounded in our behalf during
our colonial struggle by Burke and Fox.
The English Revolution of 1688 broke
the back of the Puritan ecclesiastical
tyranny In New England. George Ill's
usurpation of royal absolutism was as
great a constitutional outrage to Fox
as It was to our cwn Franklin and Ad
ams.
Nor can it be said that within our pe
culiar sphere of utilitarian energy and
progress we have exceeded the great
peoples of the past, measured by the hp
pllances they had to work with and the
utter absence of the art of printing, of
all knowledge of ihe power of electricity
and steam applied to the problem of
transportation on land and water, and
the economizing and Increase of me
chanical power. Given an America to
day without the art of printing, with
out steam to move cars or boats, with
out telegraph or telephones, and how
much would she accomplish? And yet
the Phoenicians, the great merchants
and traders of antiquity, without any
of our advantages, In wretched galley.i
salted through the Mcnin rrarsean to the
coasts of France, founded the great and
powerful City of Carthage. The ancient
Egyptians in wretched vessels sailed
down the Red Sea, doubled the Cape
and sailed around to the Mediterranean
In the days of Queen Elizabeth, in the
sixteenth century, Martin Froblsher
sailed as far north as anybody until the
recent expedition of Peary.
The real explanation of our remark
able success as a utilitarian people lies
more in adventitious circumstances than
In our superior native American energy
and hardihood. Our free Institutions
from the start unleashed the working
iiiergy and ambition of nil classes o
society. There were no barriers of rank
no walls of circumstance to leap; there
was plenty of cheap, fertile land and
ample room for all. but, 'even with this
great initial advantage, our progress
was discouragingly slow until we be
gnn to build steamboats and railways.
Fulton's steamboat appeared In 1S07,
but no steamship crosied the Atlantic
from America until 1319, and until the
advent of steamboats the navigation of
the Mississippi was crippled, because
you could take a raft to New Orleans
but could not bring her back. Lincoln
always sold his flatboat In the city. The
Erie Canal was finished in 1825; the rail
way began to be extended in 1825; th
electric telegraph ;came in 1815, and . the
later application of electricity as a mo
tive power in transportation In llltiml
catlon and mechanical labor we h'ava
adopted all this as we dl-i the steam
engine and the railway locomotive' from
Europe. Ether Js an American dlscovT
ery, but chloroform was discovered by
an English scientist. France taug"ht us
the whole art of making sun pictures.
American surgeons, like Dr. McDovfelk
and Marlon Sims, have made some. Val
uable additions to surgical knowledge,
but on the whole Europe has been, our
teacher in the matter of important sci
entific discovery. We are apt scholars,
energetic investigators; that Is aboutall.
We are a great people for energy,
courage and enterprise, but we need, to
be reminded that we inherited enormous
advantages from the sudden advent of
the application of steam and electricity,
which took place before our experi
ment had completed fifty years of life.
Suppose our Republic should suddenly
collapse and sink Into political and so
cial decline, as did Greece and Rome
what could be said of it? We say that
Athens lives today through her art and
her literature; we say that Rome lives
through the Impress still felt of her
genius as a lawgiver, a roadbullder, a
soldier and a military engineer. If Eng
land perished Shakespeare would be the
Immortal head of a splendid literature.
Italy has left an Immortal mark in her
painting and sculpture; Germany will
always live because of what she has
done for music. If we should perish
today, we ehould leave no more mark
than did ancient Tyre of commercial
glory, and our political struggles -would
form no more heroic story than those of
Europe. Let us be modest .for a time
yet, and not forget that there are others,
SOME ROYAL INTRIGUES.
The scandal concerning the wife of the
Crown Prince of Saxony only illustrates
that human nature is'about the same In
the ranks of royalty as it is In common
life. It is generally worse. The record
of the Kings of modern Europe is not
memorable for conjugal fllelity, and the
records of the Queens is not much bet
ter. Isabella of France. Queen of Ed
ward II of England, had Roger Morti
mer for her lover, and was privy to the
murder of the King. Shakespeare makes
Queen Margaret, wife of Henry VI, the
mistress of the Duke of Suffolk. Two
of the Queens of Henry VIII were sent
to the block for adultery, and one of
them, Katherine Howard, confessed her
guilt Mary Queen of Scots was both
an adulteress and a murderess, and
George IV charged his wife, Caroline of
Brunswick, with adultery, and while
her trial was not decisive, her corona
tion as Queen of England was refused.
The record of France is not better.
One of the Queens of France, Elinor of
Aqultalnc, was divorced by her hus
band for adultery, but her territorial
dower was so rich that she promptly
secured a second husband In the person
of Henry II of England. Isabella of Ba
varia. Queen of King Charles the Sim
pie, had the Duke of Orleans for a lover.
Anne of Austria, Queen of Louis XIII of
France, was reported to be the mistress
of the famous Cardinal Richeli'eu,"and to
have had an affair of the heart with the
Duke of Buckingham, the handsome fa
vorlte of James I. Dumas Incorporates
this historical intrigue In "The Three
Guardsmen." ., .
Prince William, pf. Orange,.. the Jlbr:
ator of Holland, Was divorced from one
of the several wi;cs he took because pf
her adultery. Queen Joanna of Naples
was an adulteress and privy to themur-
der of her husband. Queen Christina of
Sweden, daughter of the great Guatavus
Adolphus, had lovers galore, and caused
one of them to be murdered In France
by her attendants. Catherine II of Rus
sla and the Empress Josephine of
France had scandalous passages In their
royal lives, while Queen Isabella of
Spain In the last century was so licen
tious that her people rose in revolt and
she lost her throne.
The wonder Is, not that some Kings
and Queens have had disagreeable pas
sages In their married lives, , but that
there have not been mere of such scarf
dais. Royal marriages are never love
matches; they are marriages -of state.
policy. Queen Victoria by good fortune
loved her husband before marriage, and
selected him for a husband, and so' did
Queen Victoria's daughter, who married
Prince Frederick of Prussia, afterwards
Emperor of Germany for three months
and the father of Emperor William II
William the Conqueror and Edward I
of England were happily married, and
Edward III loved his wife, Phlllppa of
Hainault; but as a rule royal marriages
hav ben very mercenary and very un
happy. Henry VIII was forced to marry
his brother's widow, Katherine of Ara
on, who was much elder than himself,
when he was but 15.
EXTREMITIES OF STARVING SEA
MEN.
The story of the Australian castaways
who, starving on a raft In ml'docean
sucked the blood of the stewardess while
she slept until she died of weakness,- Is
a terrible tale, but there have been
many such dreadful scenes following
shipwreck. Many years ago an Amer
lean vessel foundered at peju The only
seaworthy boat was crowded with the
survivors of the passengers and the
crew. The sea was running so high that
It was plain that the overloaded boat
would soon be swamped If her load Was
not lightened. - The mate said that, with
the exception of the seamen necessary to
keep the boat afloat, all the men, lnclud
lng himself, would have to cast lots' to
decide who should be thrown overboard
to lighten the boat sufficiently to carry
the rest. The first man cn whom the
lot fell was a very wealthy young fellow
from Philadelphia, He offered the mate
a small bag containing a very large
amount of money In bills for his life.
The mate at once flung him overboard
and proceeded with the casting of lots.
The men selected were at once thrown
overboard by the mate and his crew.,
After terrible suffering from lack of food
and water during eoveral days, the boat
was picked up. The mate voluntarily
surrendered himself to the authorities,
but never suffered any legal punish-,
ment
An English sea captain cast away'
with his crew in an open boat In the
Pacific Ocean decided to cast lots as to
who Ehould die to save the rest from
death by hunger and thirst. The lot fell,
on the cabin boy. The captain killed
him and his body was eaten. The boat
was picked up, and on hlg arrival ,fn
London the captain surrendered himself
to the law and confessed all Ije had
done. He was tried for murder4 con
victed and sentenced to death, bkc wa
pardoned by the clemency of the crown.
De Long and his fellow officers died 6$
starvation side by side without a mbr
mur. They were too high-spirited aW
fine-bred men to seek to prolon'gillfeby
feedlrig on each othen 'InTLietena'nt
Strain's' famous expedition across the
Isthmus of Darlen in 1851 the party was
reduced to starvation, so that they ate
toads, various other repulsive reptiles
"and vermin."
The Czar and Czarina of Russia, the
fond but sorely disappointed parents of
four daughters, show a magnanimous
spirit In a very cordial telegram to the
Prince and Princess of Wales congrat
ulating them upon the birth of their
fourth son. The fates have, under the
circumstances, been exceedingly unkind
to the imperial couple at St. Petersburg,
arid4 over-generous, as It would seem, to
their royal cousins in London. There
would be some prospect that Russian
traditions might yet be Ignored and a
woman be made eligible to the throne
but -for the fact that there Is any num
ber of imperious Grand Dukes to dispute
the title of a Czar's daughter to the
succession. The gentle Czarina is her
self generally conceded to be the power
behind the throne, while her austere
mother-in-law, the Dowager Empress,
ruled the empire In her husband's day
only less despotically than does Tsl An,
the terrible Dowager Empress of China,
It is a fiction of imperial Russia, how
ever, that women are not born to rule,
and, looking straight, at the history of
the empire under two Catherines and
Elizabeth, this fiction is raised to the
status of a fact, and the demand for "an
heir to the throne" continues though
four daughters have been born to Nich
olas II.
The Oregonlan desires to commend the
Bostonlans for the liberal recognition of
Robin Hood" In their repertory; and
the task is the more cheerfully under
taken because of the disapproval that
was expressed In these columns upon a
former occasion when a clientele clam
oring for "Robin Hood" was required to
hear "Rob Roy" and perhaps something
else instead, or else stay at home. It is
a duty as well as a pleasure to welcome
this sterling company to Portland, for
there Is probably no single organization
that has contributed so much in the past
fifteen years to the enjoyment of the
American public. Amusement-lovers
have no fonder recollections than those
of Mr. Cowles In the armorer's song,
Miss Davis in "Oh, Promise Me" arid
the legend of the chimes, Mr. Frothlng
ham'a inimitable comedy, and, last but
not least, dear old Barnabee himself,
genial of soul, agile of foot, and, rare
among comedians, sweet of voice. It is
no wonder that Mr. Barnabee creates
enthusiasm wherever he goes. He Is the
grand old man of American opera.
Kipling was no doubt spared for some
good purpose when his terrible Illness
in New York a few years ago promised
for many days to terminate fatally.
Whatever this purpose was, however, it
Is clear that It was not that he might
become a writer of nolltlco-martial
poetry. All doubt in this direction, if
any existed, has been changed to cer
tainty by the publication of his latest
poem protesting against the action of
Great Britain and Germany in Venezu
ela. Keyed high with indignation, the
author blurts through six stanzas of
rumble and jingle the purport of which
seems to be that British sailors are tired
of war and would much prefer to lie on
their "banked oars" for a while, rather
than join Germany and "help her press
tor a aeDt. remaps tnis is poetry; cer
tainly It is Kipling's poetry, but we are
fain to believe that he was spared when
death threatened for some other pur
pose than to write- such stuff. To doubt
thlB is to arraign divine mercy as short
sighted misguided.
A Socialistic member of the lower
house of the French Chamber of Depu
ties' has submitted to that body a bill
"which embodies the proposal to abol
ish all titles of nobility in France. Sev
eral Ineffectual attempts have been
made to tax French titles out of exist
ence, but this proposition attacks them
boldly .as meaningless and, In a republic,
absurd. "What prestige do titles of no
bility confer In these days?' asks this
hold legislator. Let Count Bonl de Cas-
tellane, who bought an American Gould
with his title tand was enabled thereby
to indulge his taste for bric-a-brac to the
amount of several hundred thousand
'dollars, answer. French titles have a
distinct commercial value In the Amer
ican market. To deprive the sham aris
tocracy of that realm of titles would be
to destroy their stock in trade and break
them up in business, so to speak a pro
cedure that is distinctly forbidden by
republican institutions.
It is a fact worth recalling that,
had It not been for the fact that
GenJral Grant wrote during his last
painful sickness his "Memoirs," which
earned for him about 5500,000, his widow
would not have had any property left
to will to her children. Ferdinand
Ward, by his embezzlement and forg
ery, robbed General Grant of all the
money he had lent his sons, who were
partners with Ward, and by his crim
inal use- of General Grant's name
stripped him of every dollar. Then Gen
eral Grant, with cancer's fangs already
fastened In his 'throat, determined to
write a book that would redeem his' lost
fortune. He wrote the book; he lived
long enough to know that it would
bring his wife $400,000, and then he died
with resignation.
Representative Jones' bill for opening
the Colville Indian reservation iooks
like another attempt on the part of the
Northern Pacific to locate forest reserve
scrip. The -bill provides for restoring
the surplus Colville land "to the public
domain." Northern Pacific 3crlp applies
tn th nubile domain. Is there no end to
the land greed of that railroad corpora
tlon or to the slmpleness of public serv
ants who go Innocently do Its bidding?
KiplinJS on the Latest War.
nnrtvfird Klnllng. In a signed poem In the
T.,,irtTi Times of December 22, protests strong
ly acalnst the action of Great Britain and
t. in vnnzueia.. ine uuera siiia;
ft'The banked oars fell an hundred strong.
And banked and thrashed and ground,
But bitter was tho rowsrs song,
As they brought the war boat round.
''Lost night ye sworo our voyage was done.
But seaward still we go, ,
And yo tell us now of a secret vow
havo made with an open foe.
"Tnero was never a shame In Christendom
They laid not to our door;
And; ye say we must take the Winter sea
And sail with them once more.
1
"Look south the gale is scarce o'er past
That stripped and laid us down
Wben we stood forth, but they stood fast,
f Anil prayed to see us drown,
'The dead they mocked are scarcely cold,
' Our wdunds are bleeding yet;
Andye (ell t hat our strength Is sold
Tiy hcl them press for a debt.
Jn slgh of peace -from the narrow seas
i O'er half the world to run
.WUb a. cheated crew to league, anew
- With the Goth and the shameless Hun.'
FIVE-MINUTE BOOK TALKS.
Xo. 14 Hood's Whims and Odditlex.
"Whims and Oddities, In Prose and
Verse: with Forty-two Original Designs
by Thomas Hood. First Scries." Of what
sort is this little book of about 150 pages.
Is indicated plctorially on the title page
by the legend "Spring and Fall," under the
illustration of a man leaping a fence, who
finds himself in the way of pitching inev
itably upon the long and pointed horns of
a grim-looking ox reposing exactly in the
wrong place. Here, then, are a good pun
and an equally characteristic drawing.
Of both claa3es of work thus represented.
Hood wa3 a fertile producer. As regards
tho one, in his address to the second edi
tionprefatory remarks are three In num
berhe eays, with reason as with wit: "I
am informed that certain monthly, weekly
and very every day critics, have taken
great offense at my puns and I can con
ceive how some gentlemen with one Idea
must be perplexed by a double meaning.
To my own notion a pun la an accommo
dating word, like a fanner's horse with a
pillion for an extra sense to ride behind;
It will carry single, however, if required."
Of the pictures: "The designer Is quite
aware of their defects; but when Raphael
has bestowed 7 odd legn upon 4 apostles,
and Fuseli ha3 stuck In a great goggle
head "without an owner; when Michael
Angelo has set on a foot the wrong way,
and Hogarth has painted In defiance of all
the laws of nature and perspective, he
docs hope that his own little enormities
may be forgiven that his sketches may
look interesting, like Lord Byron's Sleeper,
'with all their errors. " The general
character of -the work Is felicitously ex
pressed: "It happens to moat persons, in
occasional lively moments, to have their
little chirping fancies and brain-crochets,
that skip out of the ordinary meadow-land
of the mind. The author has caught his,
and clapped them up in paper and print,
like grasshoppers in a cage. Tho judicious
reader will look upon the trifling creatures
accordingly; and not expect from them the
flights of poetical winged horseo"; and the
final words of the third address are of the
genuine Hood variety: "Having parted
with so many qf my vagaries, I am doubt
ful whether the next November may not
find me sobered down into a political econ
omist." Has the gentle reader lived
through a London November or experi
mented In re'ading "the dismal science"?
I know 'tis affected by some that Hood's
humor was the forced art of a clever man
making money to boll the pot, and a good
deal has been said about the true Hood
being the man "who sang the song of the
shirt." Now there Is no trace that I can
find of a want of enjoyment, not to say
spontaneity. In his process of funmaklng,
on the part of thl3 prince among punsters,
humorists and wits. His astonishing ver
satility appears in the strong contrasts
presented by his work. Why not let the
matter rest there, it being granted that
this gifted author would find a better mar
ket for hlg lighter than for his graver
productions?
It would be superfluous to say that the
enjoyment of Hood's "Whims and Oddi
ties" is enhanced by the reader's ac
quaintance with the best English literature
of the period and antecedent to It. Evi
dence abounds, moreover, that the author
was very widely read, and his utmost
abandon is that of the scholar. Somebody
has said, or might have said, or ought to
have said, that he made the pun classical.
Making moral reflections aloft on the cross
of St. Paul's Cathedral, he sees people liKe
emmets below, and recognizes his aunt
among them, for a whimsical reason:
And there's my aunt. I know her by her waist.
So long and thin.
And so pinch'd in.
Just In the pismire taste.
On this speculative height he "looks over
London's naked nose," sitting "above the
ball"; and sees the Thames "a tidy ken
nel." The careful piece of work, "A Val
entine," presents many temptations tc
quote. Let this lachrymose question suf
fice: Will not tears of woe .
Water thy spirits, with remorse adjunct.
When thou dost pause and think of the defunct?
Please to Ring the Belle" speaks best
for Itself:
I.
I'll tell you a story that's not In Tom Moore:
Young Love likes to knock at a pretty girl's
door;
So he call'd upon Lucy 'twas Just ten o'clock
Like a spruce single man, with a smart double
knock.
II.
Now a handmaid, whatever her flngera bo at.
Will run like a puss when she hears a rat-tat;
So Lucy ran up and In two s'econds more
Had questlon'd the stramter and answer'd the
door.
III.
The meeting was bliss, but the parting was
woe:
For the moment will come when such comers
must go;
So she klss'd him, and whisper' d poor, inno
cent thing
The next time-you come, love, , pray come with
a ring."
The ballad of "Falthlee3 Sally Brown"
will be recalled by the stanza relating
how, after tho return of her 3allor sweet
heart, who had been taken away by a
press gang two years before, finding that
"she'd got another Ben, wnose Christian
name was John." he lamented thus:
O Sally Brown! O Sally Brown t
How could you serve me so?
I've met with many a breeie before.
But never such a blow!
The sad catastrophe:
His death, which happen'd In his berth.
At forty-odd befell: i
They went and told the sexton, and
The sexton toll'd the bell.
'TIs at Margate
Where the maiden flirts, and the widow comes
Llko the ocean to cast her weeds.
There too
The tumbling billows llko leapfrog came,
Each over the other's back.
Tho following is perfectly in the Hudi
braetlc view:
Neither can man be known by feature
Or form, because so like a creature.
That some grave men could never shape
Which is the aped and which the ape,
Nor by his gait, nor by his height.
Nor yet because he's bjack or white,
But rational for so we call
The only Cooking Animal!
Tho only one who brings his bit
Of dinner to the pot or spit.
For where's the Hon e'er was hasty,
To put his ven'son In a pasty?
Ergo, by logic, we repute,
That he who cooks Is not a brute
But Equus brutum est. which means.
If a horse had sense he'd boll his beans,
Nay, no one but a horse would forago
On naked oats instead of porridge.
Which proves, if brutes and Scotchmen vary.
The difference la culinary.
A successful essay In the Spenserian
stanza, "The Irish Schoolmaster," is an
abiding feast to the appreciative. I will
quote one stanza. What could be funnier
than the college gown being used ail a
scarecrow, and the use of such dignified
verse and language In the transmission of
humorous ideas? But tnis is one of the
leading charms of Hood as a writer. The
boys are at their sports after school,
But careful Dominie, with ceaseless thrift.
Now changeth ferula for rural hoe;
But. first of all, with tender hand doth shift
His college gown, because of solar glow.
And hangs It on a bush, to scare the crow;
Meanwhile, he plants in earth the dappled bean.
Or trains the young potatoes all a-row.
Or plucks the fragrant leek for pottage green.
With that crisp, curly herb, called is-ale In
Aberdeen.
The volume authorized edition, E. Mox
on. Son & Co., London ends with "Fancy
Portraits," Introducing grotesque carica
tures of literary men, which remind me
that Tom Hood'a career included a" period
of service in tho establishment of an en
graver. He was born Jn 17SS and died in
1S45. In 1S21 he adopted literature as a pro
fession, taking a chair in the office of a
London magazine. "Whims and Oddities"
was his first volume. Dedicating it io the
reviewers he wrote:
What Is a modem poet's fate?
To write his thoughts upon a slate;
The critic spits on what is, done,
Gives it a wlpe.and all" is gone.
As if. the versatile and genial Hood could
ever be forgotten.
HENRY G. TAYLOR.
1 K0TE AND COMMENT.
Good morning! Going to church?
When a young woman has an engaging
smile, the young admirer may take. cour
age. The man who .takes measures to put
himself In the front rank f requentiy. finds
himself short.
Some of tho young men arc now pon
dering whether it Is absence or presents
that makes the heart grow fonder.
Those Poles who burned Uncle Sam's
mail for fuel must have been terribly un
lettered. Still, it was hardly polite. (Bos
ton joke.)
The chief sculptor of the St. Louis fair
has resigned- in anger. In otner woras, ne
gave the directors the marble heart as a
proof of his ability.
The young fellows (and older ones as
well) should be careful about crowding
the doors of elevators. Many a woman
feels Injured because she is compelled to
stand in a. crush of men while going to
the 'steenth floor of a big building, and
her feelings are not a particle soothed
when some bumptious youth with more
111 manners than brains makes her squeeze
by him to get ouL But then the ladles
should remember that most men's heads
are simply knots tied by the Creator to
keep them from raveling out.
Miles M. O'Brien, ex-president of tho
Board of Education, dropped into the of
fices of the Guardian Trust Company the
other day to have a chat with Bird S.
Coler.
In the course of the conversation ho re
lated one of his experiences while visit
ing a West Side grammar school. He
asked a number of questions of tho vari
ous pupils to test their knowledge of the
branches taught. Of one of tho small
boys in the arithmetic class he asked:
"If your father should give your mother
$3 today, and 56 tomorrow, and 54 50 tho
next day, what would be the result?"
The boy, who was at the bottom of tho
class, replied: "She would throw a fit."
A little lass In this city, whose tender
life is guided by a spirit of exemplary
piety, had a very merry Christmas. The
day seemed to develop for her a new joy
every minute, and when at last- the fair
head and its shaking curl3 sought the
pillow, she was In a state of blissful exu
berance. Finally her mother told her it
was time to go to sleep. The hint was
taken and little girlie climbed out of her
crib and knelt by it - with closed eyes.
After her prayer had reached Its accus
tomed end she got up and started to kiss
her mother good-night. A thought struck
her, and she gravely resumed her place
at the crlbslde. "I'm much obliged, God,"
she whispered, "for my merry Christmas,
and I hope you've had thesame. Amen."
Many of today's sermons will speak of
faith as the saving force In the world.
It were well if more people took this les-
to heart. If the friend would only
have faith In his friend, if the father
would only have faith In his child, the
lover faith in his beloved. Suspicion, half
hearted trust, jealousy these are the
things that take the bloom off life. So
many long for the happiness of the little
child. The little one trusts Implicitly, and
Us Joy bears no tinge of evil-thinking.
And the pity of it all Is that faith is usu
ally the true feeling' to cherish. Perhaps
it Is a proof of natural, sinfulness that
faith and Its divine quality are so little
compatible with ordinary life. We sus
pect because we know ourselves, and the
punishment is heavy. Yet there are thoso
who have learned to trust, and to these
Is given a boon that brings with it un
told happiness and contentment.
Although It was reported that Mr. Pol-
light's Injury was due to falling off the
car, the real story is this: Mr. Polllght
had got on a Morrison-street car at B:15
and pre-empted a seat In the rear. Three
minutes later some ladles embarked, and
Mr. Polllght, seeing that tnere was no
room for them to sit down, wearily arose
and tendered his seat to one of the new
passengers, ane accepted wun mu.nH.3,
and the car rumbled on up Morrison while
Mr. Polllght swayed on the end or a
strap. Finally more people got on, and
Mr. Polllght retired to the platform. At
Sixteenth street' the conductor called him
and said: "Lady wants to speaK to you,
sir." Mr. Polllght Jammed himself Into"
the car, and the lady to whom he had
yielded his seat said quietly: "Here is
your seat. I am much obliged to you."
That is why Mr. Polllght had to seek air
on the back platform, and why he fell off.
E. M. Holland tells the following story
In the New York Times:
"I was playing years ago the part of
the Judge In 'Tho Danltes,' before noso
putty was Invented, and the following In
cident happened to me at that time. All
others who claim It are impostors. Look
for the signature on the label.
"To make the Judge's nose blossom
properly I found that dough was the
most effective material, - and kept a sup
ply of flour on hand. But one night 1
found myself out of flour, so I sent a
boy to get some in a hurry. I made up
as usual and' began to play. The night
was warm, the Judge worked hard, and
at the end of the first act a large white
crack appeared on one side of his nose.
There was no time to remake the nose,
so I painted out the crack and went on
again. More cracks appeared, more paint
wa3 applied, and all the time the nose
seemed to grow larger and larger. By the
last act It was as full of cracks as the
side of Pelee, and so big I couldn't see
around it.
"The boy had bought self-raising flour.'
Old Kesro Mnmniy.
Atlanta Constitution.
Crossed thd last dim river-ended now the way;
Faithful In life's Winter, and singing in its
May I
Love that still was loyal-love that nothing
craves
Hands that rocked Life's cradle and wreathed
with flowers Its graves.
Stormy days or sunny.
Knowing not to roam
Till that "Good-bye. honey
Mammy's gwlne home!"
Tolling, ever faithful; by those hands caressed.
Childhood left Us playthings climbing to her
breast:
And the old. sweet songs she sang In twilight
shadows deep.
"Sing us all to slee?, mammy sing us all to
sleeri!"
In Life's storm or splendor.
Knowing not to roam
Till that farewell tender
"Mammy's gwine homo!"
And I think somewhere the angels far from
this world of sighs.
Let the first light of heaven dawn on the dying
eyes:
And they said there, of the angels, as they felt
the shadows creep:
"They are singing you to sleep, mammy; they
are singing you to sleep!"
And the Lord he will deliver.
And to the lives that roam
Comes that echo d'er Death's river-
"ilammy's safe at home!"