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THE SUNDAY OREGONIAH, PORTLAND, TONE 8, 1902.
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PORTLAND, S.CNDAT, JUNE 8, 1002.
tran forward natioxal move
ment. The address delivered by Mr. Charles
STrancls Adams, as president of the
American Historical Association, at the
latest meeting of that association, held
ut "Washington, D. C, has been ex
panded by him and published under
the title, "An Undeveloped Function."
It is a rapid review of the forces that
have been making for our National de
velopment, with certain illustrations
and generalizations from the philosophy
of history. The argument culminates
upon the inquiry what theories are to
be used in dealing with the depend
encies, colonies call them what you
will for which we have become respon
sible under the events and consequences
of the last four years.
Mr. Adams, it seems to us, contributes
something to this inquiry. He holds
that the rule which should guide the
United States In dealing wltft alien
races, probably inferior, or being as yet
undeveloped or else in a state of arrest
ed government, is simple. The capacity
for self-government, he says, and, con
eequently, the consent of the governed,
should be assumed until, as the result
of experience, a negative is proved;
after that the interference should be
the least necessary to arrest decay or
to secure stability. It seems to us that
these tentative efforts may be made
Kvith great promise under the system of
territorial government and administra
tion with which our country long has
been familiar. It gives a high degree
cf local self-government, yet reserves
the sovereign power to the 'United
JB tales.
Mr. Adams is by no means an ag
gressive expansionist! On the contrary,
lie approaches the subject of expansion
?with much misgiving. But we have
taken a new step forward, and a long
one, and he does not see how we are to
recall it. There may be reason to con
clude, he Intimates, that a profound law
ef National life, at last involving us,
ias long been, and now in our case is,
evolving results. It is one more imase
of natural evolution working Itself out,
as In the case of Borne twenty-five cen
turies ago, through survival and su
premacy of the fittest So, as Mr.
lA.dama remarks, "when all is said and
done, that unreasoning instinct of a
people which carries it forward and
over its theories to its manifest destiny
amid the despairing outcries and long
firawn protestations of theorists and
ethical philosophers is a very consider
able factor in making history; and, con
JSequently. are to be reckoned with."
Undoubtedly; and this is the case with
us now, in our relation to the Philip
pine Islands. It is the force, beyond
j calculation, beyond present reason,
"through which superior political devel
opment, superior civilization, gets for
tjward, and either dispossesses peoples of
fcjower grades of culture or transforms
i them slowly into higher. There are po
etical and ethical theories that hold
this movement back and refine it; so,
doubtless, they are useful; but there is
no getting on without it It Is a move
ment which, under the guidance of na
tionalities affected by the English spirit
and Jurisprudence, has especially
marked and ennobled extensive bar
barian countries with the Impress of its
own character- It is in our hands now,
for the first time in our history, and
there is no escape from the responsibil
ity it imposes on'us. To shirk it is im
possible; to run away from it would be
cowardice. And"it is in every way more
consistent with freedom that we should
stay than quit The world Is not much
concerned for the preservation of sav
age liberty, and there is no liberty
worth the name which does not have
Its roots in the character of the great
race which forms the main stock of the
people of England and the United
States. There needs, then, be no alarm
about liberty, for liberty remains in the
bouse of its friends.
The story of "how the tulip wrecked
Holland" has often been told and Is
again repeated In London Amateur
Gardening. It is recalled that in 1634
the phlegmatic Dutchmen, who are
popularly supposed to be the most un
sentimental people on earth, absolutely
lost their heads and wealth in buying
and collecting tulip bulbs. A single
bulb of one of these plants not infre
quently brought as high as 250 to
E00. The craze seized all classes
rich and poor, learned and ignorant"
though, of course, the rich pursued the
tulip quest with the greater avidity,
only to find themselves Tuined when the
bulbs dropped to their normal value,
srhica- was but little more than that of
the onion. As everybody desired to
possess the rarest and greatest collec
tion, as much as 10,000 is said to have
been given for forty bulbs. The tulip
is coarse, ephemeral and withal wholly
without fragrance, and oven the most
ardent lover of flowers is at a loss to
account for this rage to possess it The
craze abated as quickly as it came, but
it prevailed long enough to Induce a
financial crisis in Holland even worse
than that which prevailed in England
when the South Sea bubble burst, and
it remains today one of the utterly in
comprehensible mental contagions in the
history of what in modern times is
called "a erase." Impalpable as air,
yet strong enough to subvert human
judgment, are the carriers of mental
contagion that at various times
throughout history has swept nations,
and fortunate indeed are the people
smitten with mental disorder for which
the specialist has as yet no scientific
name, when Its germs feed upon tulip
bulbs, as was the case in Holland in
the middle of the seventeenth century,
rather than (to compare great things
with small) upon blood, as in France
toward the close of the eighteenth. Of
similar type was the Klondike excite
ment that bore on its unreasoning
breast a few years ago thousands of
gold-seekers to the Arctic zone to per
ish In Its midwinter snows. "A craze,"
says the puzzled alienist, and dis
misses the subject until compelled to
take it up again by some startling re
currence of Its weird potency.
LOSE THE FIGHT AND "WIN THE
CROWN.
The advantage is with the British
that is, if you are thinking only of the
terms of surrender; but as for glory,
that is with the Boers. Who ever thinks
of hanging wreaths of immortelles over
the chariot of the conqueror? No; they
are for the graves of those who lost
The song of the vanquished is the oong
that reaches the heart, though the poet
who wrote one was pleased to imagine
it otherwise. Mankind has chaplets and
ballads for those borne down in the
battle the victor can take care of him
self. Perhaps it is some obscure expression
of the sense of humor; perhaps it is a
development of our common Instinct of
perversity; perhaps it Is only the pleas
ure we take in cheating ourselves with
fiction ornamented in the guise of truth;
but certain it is that glory most bright
ly gilds the tomb where sleep the cham
pions of a vain and foolish cause. His
tory says that Europe, as a reasoning
being, could not endure the anarchy
that made Poland almost uninhabit
able; but tradition knows only the
poet's tribute to Thaddeus of Warsaw.
No Briton has ever won glory in en
forcing the empire's rightful sover
eignty over Ireland; but Bobert Emmet
is immortal in song and story; and
"unhappy Ireland," along with "un
happy Poland," will carry to genera
tions hence an increment of honor and
rectitude, given through sheer sym
pathy with their just but tragic fate.
The glory of the Civil War, even at
the North, as the generation that
fought It passes away, is with the
South. Because Jt is the "Lost Cause,"
men sigh and shake their heads mourn
fully, regardless of the principles estab
lished in spite of it, and regardless of
the merits of the shot at Sumter. Per
functorily we recognize the Blue, en
thusiastically wo sing of the Gray. The
poems that touch the patriotic soul are
not of the North, but "Under the Sod
and the Dew," or perhaps something
of Timrod's, or Father Ryan, -or Theo
dore O'Hara. They are poetry, to Xe
sure, but the memory of the South
land's' fate touches with added pathos
every military piece written below
Mason and Dixon's line. This Is the
history of lost causes generally. Ger
many got the indemnity in 1871; France
gets the glory, and poor Alsace-Lorraine,
moved about the map like a piece
of bric-a-brac, has a place near the
heart of every dreamer. The Six Hun
dred rode back without effect at Bala
klava. The column stands at Ther
mopylae, and Byron's lines ring in thte
corridors of every cultivated mind; but
over the dead bodies of Leonidas and
his brave Three Hundred the myriads
of Xerxes marched on Into Greece.
So it is with the Boers. There are
orations and poems for their gallant de
fense of their fields and firesides. Their
prowess is the admiration of every
f military people on the globe. The pa
thos of their defeat wins more applause
and earns a higher glory than all the
formal recognitions of Britain's victory
or the cause of human progress, which
cquld only come to South Africa over
the ruins of Dutch "republlca" So it
may be with the Filipinos. Mr. Will
iam "Vaughan Moody has sung their
song and hit our soldiers some uncom
fortable licks, but -nobody is singing
the praises of the Americans who are
enforcing their rightful sovereignty.
The South was wrong, say you? Oh,
yes; but it's the "Lost Cause." The
Boers were wrong oh, yeB; but the heel
of the tyrant is on their neck. They
lost! The Filipinos are in rebellion
against rightful sovereignty, but they
are being overwhelmed. Not what is
right or best, but what is wrong, pro
vided it is hopelessly in the wrong and
turns up its ineffectual toes to the sun
of progress, is certain of generous tears
and a glowing epitaph.
."FLAT SALARIES."
There has been a mighty deal of talk
about "flat salaries" of late; much of it
flat nonsense. The Constitution of Ore
gon provides flat .salaries for certain
state officers. Here is the provision, viz:
The Governor shall receive an annual salary
of $1000. The Secretary of State shaU receive
an annual salary of $1500. The Treasurer of
State shall receive an annual salary of $800.
The Judges of the Supreme Court shall receive
an annual salary of S2G0O each. They shall
receive no fees or perquisites whatever for the
performance of any duties connected with their
respective offices; and the compensation of
officers, if not fixed by this constitution, shall
bo provided by law. Art. xlli, sec. 1.
There you have flat salaries. No lan
guage could be more specific or exact
If words mean anything, all compensa
tion for these officials, beyond the sums
so exactly specified, is illegal, unconsti
tutional; must be, illegal, unconstitu
tional, until the constitution itself shall
be changed. For the reason, however,
that long ago the salaries thus "fixed"
were felt to be insufficient the Legis
lature began to provide additional com
pensation, under various devices of
"fees and perquisites"; which, however,
are strictly forbidden also, and in di
rect terms.
The proposition now is that the Leg
islature shall Ignore the constitution al
together and fix the salaries at figures
which it may deem Just or adequate
cutting off all fees or indirect compen
sation. This is what they call the "flat
salary" scheme. But it can be recon
ciled with the constitution upon no fair
interpretation of that instrument It
would, indeed, be no more clearly un
constitutional than the method that now
prevails; for unqueslcnably it was the
Intent to hold the salaries down to the
figures fixed in the constitution to the
"flat" salaries named therein. The lan
guage precludes any other possible con
struction or Interpretation. "The com
pensation of officers, if not fixed by this
constitution, shall be provided by law."
"But in these cases they are "fixed" by
the constitution "fixed" specifically.
The salaries so provided are very small.
It was the intention to prevent them
from being larger; else they would not
have been eo expressly limited, and
clinched by the further provision as to
"salaries not fixed by this constitution."
We are violating the constitution la
these particulars now, and have been
doing so these thirty years and more.
But let us not set up the pretense that
we shall not be violating it when we
vote "flat salaries," as the term goes,
in direct violation of specific constitu
tional limitations. It would be a new
thing in our legislation to find the Gov
ernor calling a special session with ex
press purpose of recommending to the
Legislature distinct and direct violation
of the constitution of the state.
NEW PRESBYTERIAN CREED.
It need surprise nobody who appre
hends the nature of the conflict over
religion that rages In the worldly mind
to see that those who have most vehe
mently denounced the Presbyterian
church for the Westminster Confession
are to be found today mocking at the
revised creed that has just been adopt
ed. There is not a thing in the world
the Presbyterian church, or any church,
could -do to win approval from Its hos
tile critics. It Is to be hoped it knows
this, and Is content to go on Its way
without special effort to order Its course
in compliance with the desires of its
foea Doubtless it will apprehend the
Greeks bearing glfta Doubtless it will
recall the storied attitude of certain
arly opponents of Christianity: "John
the Baptist came neither eating nor
drinking, and ye say he hath a devil.
The Son of Man came eating and drink
ing, and ye say. Behold a glutton and a
winebibberl"
The aim of Presbyterian creed re
vision has been to hold fast the funda
mentals and eschew the erroneous con
ceits that time has disapproved and in
creasing knowledge rendered Ineligible
for useful service In moral and religious
effort The great difficulties have gath
ered about the doctrines that come ia
conflict with scientific discovery on the
one hand, and with literary criticism
on the other. Added to these have been
such quaint beliefs as that the pope Is
Antichrist, and that some Infants are
born but to be damned. Not to be
lightly passed over, also, Is the mooted
question of eternal punishment It Is
evident that an increasing number of
believers find It more and more burden
some upon conscience to assent to dec
larations which they believe to be es
sentially unsound. The creed is not en
forced upon laymen, it is true; but lay
men are reading more than they used
upon these grounds of conflict, and
young men are "pouring Into the pulpit
with friendship and common faith with
Hillis and Gunsaulus, and with no sym
pathy for the persecutors of Brlggs.
The ends thus aimed at, it is unques
tionable, have been measurably
achieved. For example:
WESTMINSTER. j NEW CREED.
There Is no other The Lord Jesus Christ
head of the church but) is the only head of the
tne Lord Jesus enruuenuren, and tne claim
N6r can tho Pope, of
Rome in any sense be
of any man to bo tho
vicar oc Christ and tne
htad thereof: but Is
head oi .de church. Is
that Antichrist that
un-Scrlptural, without
man of sin. and son of
warrant, in lact, ana u
a usurpation dishonor
ing to thft Lord Jesus
Christ.
Of Election. W be
lieve that God from the
beginning, in his own
good pleasure, gave to
his Son a people, an In
numerable multitude,
chosen in Christ unto
holiness, service and
salvation : we believe
that all who come to
years of discretion can
receive this salvation
only through faith ana
repentance.
We bellevo that God
requires of every man
to do justly, to love
mercy, and to walk
humbly with his God;
and that onlr through
this harmony with the
will of God shall be
fulfilled that brother
hood of man wherein
the kingdom of God Is
to be made manifest.
perdition, that exnueth
himself in the church
against Christ and all:
teat is cauea uoa.
By the decree of God.
for the manifestation
of his glory, some men
and angels are predes
tlnated unto everlast
ing life, and others
foreordained to ever
lasting death. These
angels and men. thus
predestinated and fore
ordained, are particu
larly and unchange
ably designed. . . .
Tho rest of mankind
God was pleased . . .
to cats by. and to or
dain them to dishonor
and wrath.
Works done by unre-
generate men, ai
thouch for the matter
of them they may be
things wnion uoa com
mands, and of good
use both to themselves
and others, yet . . .
are sinful and cannot
please God, or make a
man meet to receive
grace from God.
The tone of the old form Is exclusion;
the spirit of the new Is invitation. This
is a welcome change to all except those
who would amend theology only to
make It less acceptable. Other achieve
ments of the new creed are equally
noteworthy. The assertion about the
Bible is that it is "the faithful record
of God's gracious revelations," and "the
only infallible rule of faith and life"
declarations to which Brlggs and Mc
Glffert would gladly subscribe if they
were permitted. So of future punish
ment "At the Last Judgment," says
the new creed, "the wicked shall re
ceive the eternal award of their sins."
What that award is the new creed does
not say, though at Westminster It was
held that the wicked "shall be cast Into
eternal torments, and be punished with
everlasting destruction from the pres
ence of the Lord." There Is room on
such a platform for almost any evan
gelical Christian. A large stumbling
block has been removed from the path
of many earnest souls.
It goes without saying that this new
creed will Instantly supplant the old.
The dwindling body of conservatives
will protest and grieve, but they are
powerless. The attractive puzzle Is, of
course, What effect will the New York
declaration have on the relative status
of the Presbyterian church? Such ef
fect as It has, of course, can only be
for good. But whether it can to any
great extent alter the spirit of Pres
byterianlsm is problematical. In the
last analysis, of course, creeds do not
form believers. Believers form their
creeds. A bad religion is the product,
not the cause, of a. backward people.
What differentiates the denominations
is not so much their creeds as an in
definable enveloping atmosphere or In
forming presence. The Episcopal creed
is like the Presbyterian, but what the
world understands by Calvinism is not
in the Episcopalian concept, where
geniality and latitude have long pre
vailed. There Heber Newton unmolest
ed dwells. Thither fared forth Brlggs
from his Inhospitable home at Union.
No church has more iron-bound exac
tions of belief than the Catholic church,
but tho Pharisee is a rarer bird in the
Catholic church than even in the Epis
copalian. There is nothing in written
Methodism about evolution or the high
er criticism, but Its preachers are care
fully formed not to offend the modern
thinker. The beneficent effect of the
new creed, therefore, may not be great
at first, and may be hindered or per
verted by contingencies unforeseen.
But it Is certain that the pulpit re
cruited from seminaries abreast of mod
ern thought will preach a broader and
more effective message than ever came
from the generation of Presbyterian
preachers now paselng off the stage.
The very Indefiniteness "of the new
creed will emphasize the relative unim
portance of forms compared with sin
cere purposes and honest deeds. Be
hold,, to obey Is better than confessions,
and to hearken than the rites of sac
raments. Worship Is a day's march
nearer tho time when It shall be of
fered, not with stated rituals and formal
adherence to old dogmas, but uncere
moniously in spirit and in truth.
IXCURABLE ASD WORTHLESS INDO
LEKTS. The Turner's Falls (Masa)' Reporter
has a vigorous article commenting on
the drifting, shifting young men of that
prosperous manufacturing village, who
give little promise of ever taking part
In the Industrial activity of their time
save dn tho ranks of unskilled labor.
Turner's Falls is on the Connecticut
River, which here furnishes ample
water-power for manufacturing. This
complaint that many boys upon whose
schooling much money has been spent
do not seem to have any ambition to
rise above the ranks of unskilled labor
is natural, and probably has some basis
of fact, but it is not likely there is any
more ground for criticism than there
was fifty years ago, for there is not a
town in the country that has not al
ways had Its quota of boyo who are
Indolent shiftless, dissipated and thrift
less, without ambition even when given
considerable schooling. There was no
lack of ne'er-do-wells of both sexes in
the old colonial times, as is shown by
the records of the selectmen of these
tQwna What a crop of famous crimi
nals, cranks and charlatans this New
England rural civilization produced
many years ago! Out of the small
mountain towns of New England came
most of her famous religious quacks
and cranks and criminals.
It Is not likely the percentage of In
dolent, dissolute, shiftless and thriftless
young fellows without present ambition
is any larger today than It was fifty
years ago. It is doubtful if it is as
large In proportion to population. There
is less encouragement for idleness; in
temperance Is far more discreditable,
and there are more diversified oppor
tunities for men and women willing to
work. You cannot account for Indo
lent, non-ambltioue, shiftless folU by
environment altogether; there is truth
as well as wit In the saying that "some
folks are born constitutionally tired."
The class of young fellows described
by the Turner's Falls Reporter are after
all not necessarily the most hopeless
or worthless or moat corrupt and cor
rupting Idle class in the country. Why?
Because) if worst comes to worst a good
many of them may eventually sober up,
pull themselves together and consent to
join the ranks of some class of useful
labor before the loafer side of them be
comes a bright consummate flower of
criminality. That is, these idle young
fellows have not been, educated above
labor so far as to despise manual in
dustry; they have not been educated en
tirely above the social tastes and sym
pathies of wageworkera When they are
face to face with the necessity of going
to work or leading the lives of criminals,
a good many of these idle young fel
lows will work fairly well.
The most worthless, the most hope
less, the most corrupt and corrupting
class of Idle young fellow are those
who are the thriftless, shiftless, disso
lute. Idle sons of rich men, the gilt
edged calves of golden bulls. It is just
as true of America as it is of England
that a good many men born to a life of
possible indolence not seldom become
licentious dandies and dissolute brutes.
In England this class is largely re
cruited from the aristocracy, while In
America they belong chiefly to the so
called plutocracy. When these idle,
thriftless, dissolute sons of the rich
Anally become bankrupt or exhaust the
patience of their parents so completely
that they are turned out of doors and
are disinherited, they constitute the most
worthless and hopeless class of indo
lents in the country, because not only
they have never been bred in boyhood
to work, but all their so-called educa
tion has been limited to the acquire
ment of expensive tastes and habits
which are inconsistent with the knowl
edge and persistent practice of any
kind of useful industry. Some of them
can't work if they would, and a good
many of them wouldn't work If they
could.
Their superficial education makes
them despise work In manual callings,
and they are Incapable of intellectual
professional work. They cannot get a
"soft sit" they will not accept hard
work among what they deem vulgar
surroundings, so when they do not die
rapidly by dissipation or suicide they
are forced to live by their wits. Some
of them turn gamblers, or check-raisers,
or "confidence men" of some sort Some
of them who are superficially well edu
cated and naturally intelligent become
dangerously successful for a consider
able time. Out of the ranks of these
"black sheep" of the plutocracy have
come some brilliant criminals, who
have bepome at least notorious, if not
famous, in both America and Europe.
They are the devil's unaccountables, the
world's Irreclalmables. But even when
these Idle rich are not robust enough
to wreck their lives through dissipa
tion, they are quite as worthless to the
world and infinitely more tiresome 'as
yawning dabblers, barren dreamers, or
snobs in art and literature, or as ama
teur sports who give to outdoor pas
times exclusively all their brains and a
good deal of their money. Two young
men who are heirs to an estate of
18,000,000 were recently described by a
New York newspaper, one as "a promi
nent whip and automobllist," while the
other la "the noted polo-player and
cross-country rider." As mere coinci
dents all this Is well enough, but if that
is a rich, educated young man's only
title to public distinction, he must be a
fellow of very barren mental and spir
itual endowment: he Js nothing but a
rich man's booby son..
Sometimes the rich man's booby Is an
Idle man of Ietterawho mistakes scholastic-learning
for sound knowledge, and
pedantic scholarship for statesmanship.
These Idle, purposeless, barren-minded
rich lndolents are always hopeless when
dissolute, and useless when abstemious,
for they have never learned anything
of American life by touching elbows
with the plain people In work or play.
In poverty or prosperity, In joy or sor
row; they know human nature through
books instead of through outdoor life
and observation. They all have the
narrow conceit of those whose sympa
thies with the many have been educated
out of them by the very ease of their
existence, which permitted
them to
Ignore the life and despise the opin
ions of all men with less cheap culture
and scholarly sheen than themselves.
Such f ellow3 ought to worship the mem
ory of George rv. the only drunken
dude, licentious snob and- coward, -that
ever wag permitted to occupy in peace
the English throne.
Charles Ely Adams gives in, the June
Forum an estimate of the "real hobo"
that is at once ingenious, concise and
true to life. He says:
As a character, the real hobo Is totally un
able to foresee wants and make provision for
them. Consequently, as an Industrial factor he
lacks the essential element of stability. Thus
deficient, he Is incapable of any function, no
matter how humble, whose recurring duties
must be discharged punctually and without de
viation. He drifts from one place and Its em
ployment to another, with no other object than,
to make a change. He Is Improvident, almloss,
without as anchorage, and seemingly with no
desire for one, and undergoes hardships for the
sake of vile pleasures afterward. Hence. In
his phases, the hobo Is to the sociologist a
problem, to the clergyman and philanthropist
an example, to be criminologist a scapegoat.
to tho professional humorist an opportunity;
by turns a theme for argument, an object of
charity, quarry for the law. target for tho
barbs of ridicule and buffoonery; alternately
discussed in books, fed at free soup-houses,
mauled by the police, "rescued" by the Salaf
tion Army, laughed at by the enlightened and
elect.
This writer, however, still sees in this
creature a question that Is not unan
swerable. His condition Is traceable to
his own Ignoble fallibility. Being hu
man, he struggles, but that which to
others is the attainable is to him the
unattainable, because In his endeavors
he lacks Intelligence. The solution, ac
cording to his estimate, Is the "com
pulsory education of all the people
their liberation from the bondage of
utter Ignorance." In this obligation are
involved the essential moralities, and
to this task Professor Adams believes
the higher energies of governments will
be addressed until in his adaptability
and his proficiency, his discrimination,
foresight and his moral regeneration the
hobo of today will find ultimate efface
ment Doubting humanity can only
ejaculate, "So mote It be."
Macaulay's New Zealander, who Is to
sketch the TUlns of St Paul's from one
of the broken arches of London Bridge
at some time in the depths of the fu
ture centuries, if he will extend his
visit to Portland, On, doubtless will find
the old shacks of today, like those on
Sixth street, or at First and Washing
ton, still holding the ground, their own
ers still protesting against every Im
provement and still defying, because
permitted to defy, the ordinances of the
city as to repairs and Bidewalks; still
evading their taxes; still sitting in sor
did indolence, and still exacting the last
possible dime in rents for their old,
tumble-down rat-holes and fire-trapa
Do you- wonder, when you think of
these lazy and sordid citizens, what Is
the matter with Portland? Men who
are content merely to live and breathe
never do anything for a city. How
many lots and blocks owned by this
sort of people, with the stretches of
street adjoining them, wifl present their
beauty to visitors in 1905? You will be
proud of your city, will you not?
The wretched, disgusting deformity
that has been stationed from day to
day for the past week at the corner of
Third and Washington streets, holding
in her twisted stumps of hands lead
pencils which she offers for sale, should
be removed from the public gaze for
the public good. As a spectacle this
creature Is revolting to persons of or
dinarily strong nerves; to the weak and
timid she Is frightful. If poverty
stricken, she should be plaoed in the
poorhouse in the county to whose char
ity she is by residence entitled. If a pro
fessional beggar, she should, under the
ordinance that applies to such cases,
be taken oft the streets. Any enlight
ened physician can give reasons for her
sequestration that appeal directly to hu
manity for Indorsement. Let the poor
creature, with her pitiful pretense of
trade, be taken off the public streets.
Reports of the condition of the order
submitted to the Washington State
Grange at Its fourteenth annual meet
ing, held during the past week in La
Center, show a net gain In membership
of 526 during the past year. More
gratifying even than this increase in
membership is the further statement
that the receipts of the order increased
60 per cent This Is an index of agri
cultural prosperity (in Washington that
may be taken to represent prosperity in
all lines of business throughout the
state.
General Dewet makes clear in defeat,
as he often did in strife, his right to be
hailed a brave and noble man. Ad
dressing the Inmates of a concentration
camp recently, he urged the defeated,
heart-sore burghers to do their utmost
to show Great Britain what good colo
nists the Boers can make. Meeting the
conditions Imposed by the change in
their government in this spirit, the
Boers will, as the years go on, become
a more prosperous people than ever
before, and in due time a contented
people.
Governor Geer takes occasion to com
pliment himself under cover of con
gratulations to Governor-elect Cham
berlain. After alluding regretfully to
circumstances that made the election
of a Democratic Governor possible, his
excellency concludes with the hope that
the new Governor will leave the execu
tive branch ot the public service in as
good condition as he found it To such
a strait as this is a disgruntled chief
executive driven in the attempt to ap
pear amiable.
The Oregonlan will greatly mistake
the spirit of the majority of the Legis
lature that will sit next Winder and
elect a Senator of the United States if
any disgruntled and treacherous Republican-
shall receive consideration
there. The leaders and representatives
of' the selfish and vengeful clan who
"put the knife In" are well known and
will be remembered.
The whole world will be glad to learn
that the young Queen of Holland Is rap
Idly recovering from her late severe and
unfortunate Illness. She will pass some
weeks at Castle Schaumburg, In the
valley of the Lahn, where It may be
hoped she will be secure from domestic
strife and fully recover her health and
given another chance for her life.
McKInley' Ambition.
Prom an Address by William F. Hurdell be
fore the Dayton Buz-Fuz Club.
The President had Just one ambition
after he was done at Washington and
was back in Ohio. He confessed it one
day to Governor Nash. "George," said
ho, affectionately, putting his hand on the
Governor's arm, "before you quit the
Statehouse I want you to appoint me on
the Board of Trustees for the Ohio State
University.' He was ever mindfulof the
j youth of the land.
THINGS LOCAL AND OTHERWISE
This inquiry came to the Questions and
Answers-department the other day, and
was handed to me:
In addressing their elders should children be
taught to say "Yes, ma'am," or "Yes, moth
er," etc? MRS. a N.
Before entering on this subject I wish
to disclaim Jurisdiction over it Further
more, not to disappoint those who may
expect a decision, let me announce that I
have only taken the case under advise
ment Every mother must decide for herself
what to teach her child in the way of so
cial amenities, essential and non-essential.
"Yes, ma'am." is amenable to the
charge of being old-fashioned; having ba
bies is also old-fashioned, but the custom
Js likely to abide. "Ma'am" is an abbre
viation of "madam," a word of limited
circulation in this lan,d of the free and
home of the brave. It won't do to sub
stitute the stiff original for the shorter
and less dignified word. Can any one
And fault with "Yes, mother," or with
what many' good folk consider a more
tender appellation "mamma"? No, no
particular fault, still, "Yes, ma'am," has
its votaries by the million. Leave it to
a vote of mothers who read Tho Ore
gonlan and I venture that "Yes, ma'am"
will not be so far behind as was Furnish
last Monday night; this, too, In the face
of the fact that schools, private and pub
lic, for nearly 10 years, have fought
"ma'am." Why?
To the minds of many right-thinking
parents,, use of the words "ma'am" and
"sir" savor of servility. Every American
resents the Idea that his child is not the
equal of every other man's child. While
he may regard as theoretical the first of
the self-evident truths set down by Jef
ferson in-a document that will be 115
years old next Fourth of July, he makes
it practical when he considers his own
offspring. Is the habit of speaking the
word3 "ma'am" or "sir" as an adjunct
to the short adverb likely to produce in
the mind of a child a feeling of inferi
ority? Were your parents, or grandpar
ents, chargeable in the least degree with
servility? And yet it Is a bet of any
money you happen to have in your pocket
against a pint of peanuts that they said
Yes, sir," when they addressed their
elders. Has human nature changed In
tho last half century? Go into an unfa
miliar neighborhood and ask some lad of
12 playing on the sidewalk: "Is this Mr.
Worth's house?" If he answer "No, sir,"
he creates Instantly a good Impression.
If he happens also to touch his cap, you
will likely say to yourself: "Hero is a boy
who has been well brought up." What will
be your Impression if he answer without
gruffness: "No." A Baltimore matron
who recently took up her reslden'ce In
Portland remarked to her husband: "I
have a high opinion of Mrs. B ." With
some surprise the husband replied: "Why,
you've never met her," to which tho far
seeing wife answered: "But I know her
daughters."
A crusade against "ma'am" and "sir"
has been waged in the schools of the
country, public and private, here and else
where, for tho past 10 or 12 years, and
there are many children nowadays who
never use the words in conversation. In
one Portland boarding school their use Is
forbidden. In one academy, the words
arc gently suppressed the first day. When
the pupil say3 "Yes, ma'am," the teacher
confidentially tells him that she would
much Tather hear him say: "Yes, Miss
Smith-" He never needs to be told more
than once. The other children say: "Yes,
Miss Smith," and he doesn't want to be
laughed at. A child often learns ameni
ties away from the household. However,
the public schools respect "home rule."
If, as no inconsiderable number do, the
child says "yes" or "no" without trim
mings, no reform Is attempted, but If she
uses the tabooed "ma'am" or "sir," she
is given to understand by indirection that
she Is committing a solecism. She doesn't
relish being laughed at, and it doesn't
take her a week to learn to say: "Yes,
Miss Jones." While no ordinance of pro
hibition has been published, the common
schools have "discouraged" the two words
Into desuetude. With all the schools
aligned against "ma'am" and "sir," the
next generation is likely to see them con
signed to oblivion.
It is easy enough to teach children to
add "father," "mother, "Mr. Smith."
"Mrs. Jones," eta, to their "yos" and
"no"; but what about strangers? Your
son is going to rub up against the world
when he grows older. How will he ad
dress a man or woman whose name he
does not know? I put this question to a
friend of 40 who Is bringing up his chil
dren after the COth century plan. He an
swered decisively: "Keep away from 'sir"
and 'ma'am.' Be polite always. If I ask
my boy whether he will have another
slice of watermelon, let him answer: 'If
you please,' or 'No, thank you.' by the
time he is 21 he will be able to meet any
inquiry without using 'sir, and yet bo
well-mannered." . If a stranger enters a
certain office In Portland and asks: "Is
this Judge Blank?" the answer is: "I
am he,"'as the Judge rises from his seat.
After tho introduction, the Judge uses
"Mr." or "Colonel" or "Judge" prefixed
to his caller's name, but you never hear
him say "6lr" not even to our
newly-elected Mayor, yfor whom he
has the greatest respect. No doubt
George Washington used "sir" In
addressing Thomas Jefferson. It Is cer
tain that Theodore Roosevelt avoids it
when he speaks to John Hay, while the
chances are even that ho said "sir" the
last time he held conversation with Gen
eral Miles. Environment sometimes mod
ifies the form of salutation. Now, over
there in Harney County, Oregon, where
the principal Industry is cattle, the people
oppose equally the use of "No, sir," and
"No, Mr. Chamberlain." A Democratic
candidate for Constable, when he was out
rustling for votes In the recent campaign,
and did not happen to know the elector's
nickname, greeted him with: "Hello, old
five-spot! Darn your soul, how do you
come on?"
Suppose that Mrs. X., of Nob Hill, were
to receive a visit from her rich bachelor
brother, aged 50, living in Central Illi
nois, whose father campaigned it with
Lincoln in '53. and who learned to say
'Yes, sir" to his elders and practiced it
all his life and expected It from his jdh
iors. Suppose that Mrs. X. knew that hor
brother hacS-made his will and could di
vine the legatees. I wonder whether she
wouldn't suspend the rule and instruct
Vivian and Ethyllnda to say "sir" during
tho period of their dear uncle's stay.
After all, are not the schools and what
Is called the upper classes mistaking
terms when they taboo "ma'am" and
"sir"? The mother who discountenances
"n'o, sir," commends "No, Mr. Smith."
Well, what 13 "mister" but. corrupt form
of "master"? Does she wish her child to
bend the knee to her next-door neighbor
or to a stranger? What is "Mrs." but the
abbreviation of "mistress," a woman hav
ing power, authority or ownership; a wo
man who exercises authority, is chief,
etc. (see Webster), corrupted Into "Mis
sus"? Society has made "Mr." and "Mrs."
titles of courtesy Cannot "sir" and
"ma'am" be so regarded? Opinion on
this point is undergoing a change. If you
think their use indlcatie of servility (this
is not exactly the word to employ, being
too harsh: but it fairly carries the mean
ing), forbid their use. If, in the spirit of
50, or 20 years ago, you regard "sir" and
"ma'am" as showing respect, so teach
your childrep. The one risk you run is
that you may be considered neither fash-
I lonable nor up-to-dat L.
SLINGS AND ARROWS.
His Occupation Is Gone.
I've subdued the bloomln Pay than through the
'ole of 'Indus tan.
I 'are tamed wild Fuzzy Wuzzy, an' made
peace in the Sowdan;
The Egyptian e'a a model ot extreme clvllltee.
An I've even dragged politeness from, the
'aughtiest Chinee;
I 'ave got the bloody Sultan where 'e's feella
mighty bad.
An' there isn't any prospect of a row with
Adam Zad.
An' it's poor ole Tommy Atkins, It Is mighty
'ard on you.
Now the Transvaal war is ended, for there's
nothin" left to do.
In the list ot 'eathca countries that you find
upon the nap,
Ev'ry one has got a friend or a protector
right on tap.
If I cast my eye on Cuba, she don't slve a
tinker's dam.
For she only needs to 'oiler hout for clp to
Uncle Sam.
An If on the burnln Isle o Martinique I taka
a chance.
She will hit the red 'ot cable for a battle-ship
from France.
So it's poor ole Tommy Atkins, It la mighty
'ard on you
Now the Transvaal war is ended, what ia left
for you to do?
In the days that I remember, every way I
looked around,
Somo fat bunch o' 'elpless 'eathens there was
always to be found.
An' I kept my country growin jvhlle my army
all the time
(Was recruitln with the sons of many a new
an furrln' clime.
But I've got so many lately that the rest Is
gittln shy.
Till there ain't one left without some otrong
protectln' nation by.
An It's poor ole Tommy Atkins, what is left
for you to do.
For the Transvaal war la ended, an ain't left
you nothin new.
So I sits, like Alexander, an I wipes my
weepln h'eye,
'Causa I 'can't scare up no conquest, never
mind 'ow 'ard I try,
'Cause the bloomln' royal ensign on the battle-field
Is furled,
An there ain't another country that Is free In
all the world.
An' I don't need Rudyard Kipling an T don't
ned little "Bobs";
All I need's a few lawmakers an of course 'is
royal nobs.
An it's poor ola Tommy Atkins, there Is
nothin' more In view.
An' It's bloo&r 'ard to figure what's tha
bloomln' use of you.
Foiled Apnln.
"Villain." said the blonde and petite
heroine resolutely, for sho. had at last
pierced his disguise, and knew that she
must pass him up effectually or live un
happily ever after, "you are a wolf in
sheep's clothing."
"Bah!" said the villain.
But this attempt to prove himself a
sheep did not land, for the heroine, being
a stage heroine, was not born yesterday
or even 23 years from yesterday, and she
knew a villain when she saw one. Con
sequently the hero came fpr her In the
fifth act, the audience hissed the villain
off the stage, and the curtain fell on the
union of two hearts that beat as one.
All Wrong.
Trout Is risln' in the pool.
Birds Is nestin now,
Spendin' all the day In school
Don't seem right, somehow.
Trout an birds ain't to be found
Any time of year.
School hangs on the hull year 'round,
It's Jus always here.
School can't be where boya belong.
Ain't no kind of rule
Can make It beat the thrush's 'sons
Down there by yonder pool.
Notes of the Stage.
" Ulchard Mansfield, it Is reported,, nas ar
ranged with J. P. Morgan to have special
railroad tracks built to all the cities he
plays, so hte private train will not have
to accommodate Itself to the vulgar traf
fic of freight and passengers which now
often discommodes him.
The report that N. C. Goodwin was to
play Portia proves to bo without founda
tion. Clyde Fitch Is in Europe recovering
from the strain of several hours he spent
week before last without writing a play.
Henry Irving has "taken up the study
of English and may hereafter present a
play In that language.
Mr. S. E. Gross, of Chicago, Is thinking
of bringing suit to establish his right to
be known as the author of "Richard in."
Mr. Gross once wrote a play In which a
man draws a sword In the third act. A
parallel of this Is found In the play In
question.
J. P. Morgan may go on the stage. Ho
has several acquaintances who. It is re
ported, have invited him to witness their
performances from the wlnge.
Lincoln J. Carter will have the Coro
nation dramatized in time for production
the week the event comes off.
A. Treetop linllnby.
Green are the branches that o'er thee are
swinging.
Pale la the sky that Is bending above:
Sleep, littlo robin, thy mother Is singing.
Singing the wonderful song of her love.
Soft is thy nest with her downiest feathers,
Safe from the hawk it Is hidden, away.
Warm and secure in the roughest of weathers.
Sleep, little robin, sleep on till the day.
Father will guard while his darling Is sleeping.
Guard from all harm with his sheltering
wing,
Mother will answer that timorous peeping.
And how with the morning light father will
sing!
Sleep, little robin, the shadows are falling.
Falling Ilka feathers above thy warm nest;
Sleep little robin, the twilight Is calling.
Calling away to tho Country of Rest.
J. J. MONTAGUB.
Mr. Harrlman nt School.
Minneapolis Tribune.
Mr. Harrlman has Just returned from
an extensive tour of the Union Pacific
system. In which he has talked about the
plans of the management with great
frankness and a spirit wholy new In the
exclusive territory of that "corporation.
These plans include judicious extensions
and energetic effort for development ot the
country; scientific encouragement of em
igration. Invitation to Industries, special
facilities for commerce and all the mod
ern devices by which railroads Increase
their ultimate earnings by Increasing the
prosperity of the country. People of the re
gions exclusively served by the Union Pa
cific first stand aghast at this announce
ment of novel purpose; then spring to
their own work of Industrial or commer
cial development with a new ardor and
elated spirit. Now this Is Just the way
the Northern transcontinental roads have
developed their country and Increased
their business. They have done this no
less to compete with each other than to
compete with the Union Pacific which al
ways has thought it could neglect devel
opment of the country for the through
trade which fell Into its lap without ef
fort. Now that through trade is threat
ened by the Northern merger, and the
Union Pacific has been aroused to give
some thought to local development This
promises to Oregon at its Western ter
minus and to the Interior states along its
line something of the industrial aid and
commercial opportunity that the more en-.
ergetic policy of the Northern roads ha
brought to the State of Washington. They
are half delirious with joy over the pros-
J pect