2S
THE SUNDAY OKEGONIAN, POETLAND, AP&IL 13, 1902.
PROFESSOR
4
OR a long time after the occasion
on which Professor Marsh had been
unwigged by means of the line and
bent pin let down through the stove
pipe hole over the rostrum, recitations had
gone very smoothly and quiet. The
whole affair had been, of course, an ac
cident, still the girls felt that it would
not do to play any tricks on tfce poor
German while he still smarted from the
recollection of that trying scene.
For days after he met his classes with
a defiant look In his pale-blue, near
sighted eyes which warned them of a
smouldering volcano ready to burst
forth in a perfect storm of broken Eng
lish at a moment's notice.
As the weeks went by, however, the
unwonted docility of his pupils gradual
ly gave way to the customary giggling
and surreptitious whispering which' usual
ly marked the conduct of his classes.
With his poor sight and his uncertain
grasp of English the unfortunate pro
fessor had a hard time of it. When his
anger got the better of him. as it often
did, he would bang upon the floor or the
blackboard with his long pointer and
sputter, "Yong ladees, wull you kind
ly pay attenchun!"
It was this thumping with a pointer
that gave Julia Norris a brilliant Idea
in the way of a practical Joke. The
very thought of it made her burst out
laughing in class; but as luck would '
2iave it. Professor Marsh had Just perpe
trated a feeble joke to which he attributed j
Julia's merriment and accordingly he
beamed on her, squinting his queer be
spectacled eyes as he always did when '
pleased. )
Julia continued to go Into spasms of j
laughter with the monotonous rcgu- I
larity of a minute gun; so that when the j
gong sounded and the girls trooped out
into the hall, Dolly and Edna Williams
rushed up to her, dying with curiosity
as to the cause of so much levity.
With a few gasps Julia recovered her
composure and wiped her eyes.
"Sneak up to my room for a moment,
girls, and I'll toll you all about it."
When the three inseparables were
comfortably ensconsed in Julia's pretty j
room, she explained to them her pro
'posed joke on Professor Marsh.
The girls fairly shouted at the de
lightful scheme.
"How did you ever think of anything
so clever?" cried Dolly, when the three
were once more "able to sit up and
take nourishment," as Edna expressed it.
"My dears, I don't know!" said Julia,
her eyes twinkling. "It was one of thofce
inspirations of genius that come to one
but once or twice in a lifetime.
"Do you think we can buy 'em at the
village store?" said Edna, the practical.
"You know. Fourth of July is a good J
ways on, yet."
"Oh, I guess we can get them. If we
can't I'll send to the city for some," was
Julia's answer. "Of course, that would
delay the fun somewhat and we should
run the risk of being caught by Miss
Primrose. That charming principal of J
ours has such a fearful curiosity as to
what is in every package that comes for
any of us girls. I guess we can tirrancre
that by getting that obliging young man
at the express office to hold anything for '
"w ' , l! f0r U, rtpanaUy-'
t, ,, L U y.U l00k,at that!" cried.
JJolIy Rivers rising suddenly and point- '
ing majestically at a square of cardboard
which hung Just over Julia's washstand. ,
On the cardboard was the legend, "No j
swimming in this pool."
Oh. that! 'remarked Julia, blandly, "I )
put that up this morning as a warning to !
that Norton girl, who hangs out Just I
across the hall. She's English, you know, j
2v.ever saw such a scrubber in my life,
fehe Is all the time complaining that
she can t get enough water for her 'cold ,
bawthe In the morning, dontchorknow,' j
and she has acquired a nice little habit
of dropping in here when I'm out to swipe j
my pitcherful. Sometimes she simply
dives foeadflrst into the basin here, without j
taking the trouble to carry the water to
lier own room."
"I call that cheeky!" muttered Edna. j
"The result is," went on Julia, "I usually
ODD WAYS
T IS not without significance that the
Sphinx is represented with wings, for
the bird, with the marvels and mys
teries of his life, is still a wonder to us.
Early in any really close study of hi3
life and habits one is struck with this
fact. "Tears of careful observation and
study "without a gun" will be necessary
before we shall be familiar with his many
extraordinary ways, and still more before
we shall be able to understand the ec
centricities of a life which appears at a
casual glance as simple.
The whole subject of migration, for ex
ample, is wonderful and full of problems
which have furnished material for miles
of manuscripts and bushels of books, and
is still unsolved. And Herr Gatka has
added one more, having discovered that
the birds always travel with perfectly
empty stomachs.
The remarkable feat of sinking the body
in water to any desired depth, and hold
ing it there without motion, and without
clinging to anything Is another unex
plained secret. Geese, ducks, sandpipers
and cormorants are all experts in this
maneuver.
The air would naturally appear to be the
domain of winged creatures, yet many of
them 'are almost equally at home in the
water. A fish itself might envy the speed
and ease with which the penguin and
ouzzel dash about in its native element.
Hardly more than a fish dees that strange
creature, the petrel, need to come to land;
eating and sleeping on the waves, his only
tie to earth is tbe necessity of a cradle for
the helpless young. Whole families of
sea birds pass their lives in and on the
ocean, and come to the shore only for
the nesting season.
We smile at the Idea of a sea bird who
is as much at home on water as on land,
needing or wishing to ride, yet the tropic
bird is said occasionally to vary 'his wing
exercises by al.ghting for a sail on the bacc
of a tortoise which he finds lazily float
ing on the surface. And Major Bendlre
tells of a little owl at the West, caught
riding on the back of an unwilling gopher,
with an air of such composure that the
observer was convinced that it was a com
mon exploit of the bird.
If it seems strange to think of birds
spending their lives on the water. It is
almost as odd to know of whole families
who spend theirs in the air and never
come to the ground. In some of the trop
ical forests where trees arc between 300
and 200 feet in height, the upper branches
and the air above them are the home of
countlees birds and insects and monkeys.
More than 200 feet from the earth below
they find not only light and air, but food
in plenty, and ven water in the various
reservoirs of the giant plants and creep
ers. Birds have many extraordinary habits
MARSH and THE POINTER
NEW STORY OF DOLLY AND THE
PRIMROSE BOARDING-SCHOOL
have left about a cupful of the precious
liquid when I come to wash and dress for
dinner. Then I have the pleasure of car
rying my own pitcher to the sink around
by the long corridor, which is at the least
two and one-half miles, more or less.
Norton is a bis, able-bodied girl, so If
she wants a bigger supply of water, she
can do the Rebecca act for herself. That's
my ultimatum as expressed in that sign.
Savvy?"
Slang and practical Jokes were Julia's
failings. These were more than balanced
jilNOBATHlNciw, .
"OH, THAT SIG," SAID JULIA BLAX DLY, "THAT'S FOR. THE BENEFIT OF
THE NORTOX GIRL."
by as sweet a disposition and as true
and loyal a heart as ever girl had.
Well, there weren't any in the village
Etore Any what, you ask? Just wait and
you shall know
e suddenly recollected that she
owned a boy cousin who was attending
school in New York and he was written
to and instructed to send a box of "them"
-with all dispatch.
As fate would have it. the very day
the express package was safely delivered
into Edna's hands, the Misses Primrose
-svere honored with a visit from a certain
Judge prominent in the state and very
much Interested in educational matters,
The girls welcomed any little diversion
of this sort, not so much because they
cared to be on exhibition that they voted
a bore but because they were sure of an
unusually generous dinner, with ice cream
and cake a luxury ordinarily occurring
only on every other Sunday.
Now, Professor Marsh's class in zoology
AND HABITS
with which we are so familiar that we
fail to realize their singularity. The
strange habits of the European cuckoo,
shirking the pains and pleasures of nest
making and rearing a family, and even
in the cradle It Is said, evicting the
rightful nestlings to secure exclusive care;
of the hornbill, walling up his mate, with
U-her assistance, during the process of
brooding and feeding the young, and many
others.
Some persons will perhaps scoff .at the
idea of a bird's polite manners, and we
shall hear again the old complaint of
those who have no real acquaintance
with birds in their homes, that we make
them too human, but let me present a
few trustworthy facts explain them who
can. Many of our winged fellow-creatures
welcome the approach of their mates by a
sudden opening and closing of the wings.
The several kingbirds whom I have stud
ied first flew around in a circle of a few
feet, added a note or two of greeting,
then lifted the wings with an air that
"spoke louder than words." The sea eagle,
according to Audtibon, answers the note
of his mate by opening his broad wings,
bending the body in a low bow, and iftf
tering a cry. That we have not seen
more of such things in bird life is probably
because we have not studied them closely
enough. Tho bows and genuflections of
the burrowing owl of the West as one
passes his mound, which gives him the
name of "How-d'y-do owl," and the well
authenticated and oft-repeated account of
the cedar bird's offering a delectable mor
sel to his neighbor, In some cases passing
it back and forth among several both call
for explanation from the skeptical.
It is certainly a most becullar thing for a
creature with wings to go over the ground
on "all fours," yet there are at least two
well-known birds which progress In that
way "on occasion." One is the common
grebe, so Ill-fitted for land travel that
when there is occasion for haste he sim
ply drops to the ground and uses the wings
as a second pair of legs, quadruped fash-
ion.
I In association with one another, birds
j show as much Individuality as men. There
l are birds of solitary tastes who are never
i found with their kind, excepting with a
mate in nesting time, and others who
mate for life and are always found In
pairs. Again there are species who sep
arate by sexes, each sex forming a flock
of Its own and remaining thus except dur
ing the period of nesting. Our red
winged blackbird is an example. Still
others of the tribe live always in a crowd,
not even in nesting time separating from
their fellows. This is the habit of
grackles, martins', swallows and others.
They are not associated for mutual pro
tection, for most of them are abundantly
able to take care of themselves, but evi
dently for pure love of society. One of
these communities is as sociable and talk
ative as a sewing society or an afternoon
tea.
It would be "most Interesting if we haa
Jfr
was the first hour right after lunch, and
the three inseparables had fixed on that
time for the perpetration of their joke on
the unsuspecting man.
Edna with a mysterious package, Julia
with a bottle of mucilage, and Dclly with
in the lecture-room immediately after the
noon meal, having hurried through before
the others.
It was at this juncture that the Judge
was announced. The girls heard a strange
voice in tho hall, and the oily, gracious
tones of Miss Tabltha Primrose raised in
cordial greeting.
It did not occur to the girls that he was
come to Inspect them or that he might
attend classes, but nevertheless they felt
a bit uneasy somehow, and it was the
careful Edna who remarked, "I wander,
girls, hadn't we better postpone our little
game. If there was any chance of a vis
itor now"
"Rats!" blurted the slangy Julia, "let's
see this thing through now we are worked
up to it; wo may never have such a good
chance again."
"He's a big, fat man with white hair,
and he's gone into the parlor and he's
left his bag in the hall!" announced Dolly,
who as picket had kept watch from the
half-open door.
"There, that's done!" announced Julia,
as she rose and gingerly put the pointer
in Its place, standing end up against the
blackboard. Then she carefully wiped her
gluey fingers on the under side of a desk
OF BIRDS
space to note the various ways of food
getting In the bird world. Some of tho
large sea birds get it by robbing other
birds, and the English sparrow Is rapidly
becoming expert in the same business.
He began, where I saw him, by taking
food from young birds who wero being
fed by their parents, and now it Is not
uncommon to see him snatching from the
robin the worm he has Just drawn out
of the ground. He is not so big as the
native bird, but he is a good deal quicker.
There are birds on the other hand who
confer benefits by their way of feeding,
relieving animals of their parasites. One
In Africa attends to the camels, elephants
and cattle, andJt is very droll to see tho
business-like way In which he goes over
the big creatures as a woodpecker goes
over a tree, examining every part, hang
ing head down from ears or legs, while
the knowing beasts stand perfectly still.
Our own cowbirds are indefatigable In
their attentions to cattle. Perhaps that
is the reason they haven't time to make
a nest and rear their own young.
Many birds feed their mates while sit-,
ting, but that bird of odd ways, the horn
bill, has a unique way of presenting his
offering done up In a neat package. Ho
swallows the fruit as he finds It, but not
for his own benefit, for when he comes
to the nest he recovers it snugly wrapped
up in the lining of his gizzard. This Is
so extraordinary .that we might be excused
for doubting It, If It were not abundantly
confirmed by authentic witnesses.
Another African bird has what might
be called dinner parties, where a num
ber assemble, and by dancing about In a
shallow lake stir up the inhabitants, fish,
frogs, etc., and then dine upon them.
We have often heard of the trick of car
rying a hard shpll to a height, and drip
ping It to break It and feast on the
dweller therein, but one of the clever crow
family has a gentler and quite as suc
cessful a way. He simply taps on tho
door of the recluse often a hermit crab.
Of course that brings him out to see
wjiat it means, with the usual result.
The shrike Is the recipient of much
abuse and undeserved persecution because
he has the curious habit of hanging up his
cold meat on thorns for future use. Thus
In fact emulating our butchers whom
we do not think of despising for the same
offense.
There are many strange ways of ad
ministering food to the young, from the
robin who drops it into the mouth to the
flicker who rams and hammers It down
till one Is horrified at the sight, but the
most curious is the way of the penguin.
She comes In rrccn the sea with a supply,
then sticks her bill up into the air and
delivers a long, noisy harangue as if
calling the world to witness. Meanwhile
the youngster creeps up. to her, and waits
till the speech is finished, and the mother
bends her head down with mouth open.
J Then, th. lafant thrusts big head into her
and put the remainder of the package
In ner pocket
"I do hope it's a good, one," eho added,
regarding the pointer with a speculative
eye. "Some of 'em don't work, you
know."
"They are not very large ones," put In
Edna. "I was afraid to order the largest
size our dear old professor might have
discovered It before before it was time.
Cousin Jack wrote they were very pow
erful for small ones and did I tell you?
he said he'd give $5 to come on and see
the fun.
"Girls," camo a warning whisper from
'the doorway. "I hear Professor Marsh
coming along' the hall upstairs. It would
never do for him to find us here before the
recitation hour. He might remember the
jact after it happens."
"Rlirbt you are. me hearty." muttered
Julia, with a little chuckle, and stealthily
the girls crept out and Into the study
room across the hall. The three insepara
bles occupied seats well down front in
Professor Marsh's "zoo" class, and you
can imagine with what a fever of impa
tience they awaited the outcome of the
little comedy that had been so carefully
planned. With a strange mixture of joy
and terror tlfiy beheld the principal lead
ing the portly Judge to a place up front,
where he was welcomed with Old World
courtesy by the German.
Mies Tabitha herself took a seat close
by, and waited with that set smile of hers
for the recitation to begin.
Professor Mareh, who was quite a
draftsman, had previously chalked upon
the board an outline of various uulmals
similar in appearance, euch as the shep
herd dor. the wolf, the fox, the hyena,
the lynx, and so on. He delivered his
short lecture on their characteristics, their
habits, how they differed from one an
other, and finally he wound up by test
ing his pupllo' memory by pointing to the
various pictures on the board, saying in
each case. "An thees one. Miss Edna
eet is what? A fox, that ecs right."
The girls were remarkably accurate, and
as right answers followed one after the
other, the poor old 'German waxed enthu
siastic over the credit done him before the
honored visitor.
He came to the last picture. "An theeo,
Miss Dolly V he cried, dramatically bring
ing the pointer down on the board with
a sturdy tap.
Immediately there was a loud bang like
a pistol shot and a tiny cloud of dust or
smoke rose lazily In the air.
"Ach, I am shot!" crle"3" Professor
Marsh.
Miss Tabltha uttered a shrill scream
and the whole room was in an uproar of
screams and laughter.
And the Judge? He sat in his chair
laughing silently till the tears ran down
his red cheeks.
It was the professor's voice raised In
accents?" of pained surprise that was first
to make Itsplf heard above the tumult.
"Somewan has put a torpy-do on ze
pointer-ead!"
"A torpedo?" said Miss Tabltha. the
dawning light of comprehension lifting
her eyebrows and a sudden grim resolve
bringing them down again.
"Young ladies!" she said in an awful
voice. "You are dismissed. Go to your
roome and stay there till I send for you"
Individually."
The Judge in the meantime, weak from
his efforts to choke down a womanly de
sire to go into hysterics, struggled to his,
feet and followed his hostess into the
parlor.
"My dear Judge." began Miss Tabltha.
her voice trembling with rage and morti
fication. "I can't besln to tell you how
deeply I regret that your visit should
have been marred by such unseemly such
unmaldenly conduct."
"Marred!" broke In the Judge In his
big voice. "Why, my dear madame, I
haven't had so much fun since I left col
lege. I I wouldn't have missed that lit
tle scene for a "hundred dollars. Of course,
you understand officially I disapprove of
such goings on; but, gad! wasn't it rich?"
Here the old gentleman, who was still
a boy at heart, went off Into silent laugh
ter again.
"I do hope," he added, presently, noting
the warcloud on Miss Tabltha'e brow,
"that you won't find it necessary to im
pose very severe punishments on the
young scamps. Bless my heart, it does
me good to feel there are a few fun-loving
girls left who think of something be
side dress and parties and beaux In
fact, strange as it may seem, that little
episode has Impressed me with the fact
that a girl can enjoy life here as well
as learn. I shall be glad to recommend
your school whenever opportunity offers."
It was because of the Judge's decision,
no doubt, that Justice was in this case
tempered with mercy. So the three In
separables, who 'fessed up when asked
point blank, were let off with nothing
worse than four Saturdays to bo spent
Indoors for extra studying.
Poor Professor Marsh! He never uses
a pointer now without previously inspect
ing it through his near-sighted eyes.
DOUGLAS CAMERON.
HUMAN MANNERS THAT NO
ONE CAN EXPLAIN METHODS
OF FOOD GETTING sr sr sr sr
mouth and appears to suck something
from the throat.
It has long been known that Nature per
forms wonderful cures In tho animal
world; broken bones are joined, bullets
encysted, the severest wounds healed
and the patient able to live sometimes for
years afterwards. But It remained for
a modern naturalist to assert that the bird
hlmsolf nsqtimpn thft nfflr of sureeon.
i Professor Fatlo, who Is Indorsed by W.
Warde Fowler as "one of the most distin
guished of European naturalists," asserted
before a scientific society of Geneva,
Switzerland, that he had seen many cases
I or snipe uressing ineir wuuuus, even m
one .case applying spurns io a uru.en iejj.
It would not surprise us that a species
which has been food for powder for ages
should have developed some surgical skilL
OLIVE THORNE MILLER.
The Family Meeting?.
We are all here.
Father, mother, i
Sister, brother,
All who hold each other dear.
Each chair is flll'd; we're all at home!
Tonight let no cold stranger come.
It Is not often thus around
Our old familiar hearth we're found.
Bless, then, the meeting-and the.epot;
For once be very core forgot;
Let gentle Peace assert her power,
And kind Affection rule the hour.
We're all all here.
We're not all here I
Some are away the dead ones dear.
Who thronged with us this ancient hearth
And gave the hour to gullelets mirth.
Fate, with a stern, relentless hand.
Look'd in and thlnn'd our little band;
Some like a night-flash passed away,
And some sank lingering day by day;
The quiet graveard some He there
And cruel Ocean has his share.
We're not all here.
We are all here!
Even they the dead though dead, so dear
From Memory, to her duty true,
Brings back their faded forms to view.
How llfe-Uke, through the mist of years,
Each well-remmbered face appears!
We Eec them, as in times long past;
From each to each kind looks are cast;
W hear their words, their smllea behold;
They're round us, as they were of old.
We are all here. -
W are all here.
Father, mother.
Sister, brother,
Toii thtt I love with love so dear.
This may not long of us be said;
Soon must we join the gather'd dead.
And by the hearth we now lt round
Some other circle will be found.
Oh, then, that wisdom may we know.
Which ylelda a life of peace belowl
Bo, in the world to follow this,
May each repeat in words of bliss,
We're all all here I
Charles Spraguo.
ANDIRON TALES, sr J. KENDRICK- BANGS
Jfa
yp ND now," said the Lefthandlron,
f as the Flamingo flew off and
V left them to themselves, "It
strikes me that it is time we set about
having some supper. I'm getting hun
gry, what with the excltem'ent of that
ride and the fact that I .haven't eaten
anything but a bowlful of kindling wood
since yesterday morning."
"I'm with you there." said Tom. "I've
been hungry ever since we started, and
that snow on tho moon whetted my ap.
petite."
"Never knew a boy who wasn't hun
gry on all occasions," puffed the Bel
lows. "Fact Is, a boy wouldn't be a real
boy unless he was hungry. Did you ever
know a boy that would confess he'd had
enough to seat. Pokey?"
"Once," said Poker, "I wrote a poem-
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l O '-J-v t
rn w o
tP.
o ' o " O
.A.- 0fA;LJ.''O'
"J" .""5:: .c.
c5
OX
about him, but I never could get It pub
lished. Want to hear It?"
"Very much." said Tom.
"Well, here goes," said the Poker, anx
iously, and he recited the following lines:
THE WONDROUS STRIKE OF SAMMY DIKE
Young Sammy Dike was a likely boy
Who lived somewhere in Illinois;
His father waa a blacksmith, and
His Ma made pies for all the land.
The pies were all to very fine
That folks who sought them stood in line
Before the shop of Dike &. Co.,
Mid passing rain. In drifting snow.
For.fear they'd lose tho tasty prize
Of Dike's new patent home-made pies."
One day, alas! poor Mrs. Dike,
Who with her pies had made the strike.
By overwork fell very HI,
And all her orders could not fllT,
So HI was she she could not bake
One-half the pastry folks would take;
And so her loving husband said
He'd take her place and cook, instead
Of making horse-shoes. Kindly Joe,
To help his wife In time of woe! ,
He worked by night, he worked by day
Yet worked, alas! in his own way
And made such pies, Ive understood,
As but a simple blacksmith could.
He made them hard as Iron bars;
He mode them tough as trolley-cars.
He seemed to think a pie's estate
Was to be used as armor plate.
And not a pie would he let go
That had not stood the sledge's blow
Upon the anvil In his sanctum.
Whence naught went out until he'd spanked
'em.
Result? With many alas and 'lack
The pies' Joe made they all came back
From folks who claimed they could not go
The latest pies of Dike & Co.
And here it was that Sammy came
To help his parents in the game.
"Can't eat 'em?" cried Indignant Joe.
"Can't eat 'em? Well, I want to know!
Here. Sammy, show these people here
How most unjust their plaint, my dear.
Come, lad, and eat the luscious pies
That I have made and they despise."
Poor loyal Sammy then began
Upon those stodgy pies the plan
Was very pleasing In his eyes.
For Sammy loved his mother's pies.
He nibbled one, he bit another.
And then began to think of mother.
He chewed and gnawed, he munched and bit.
But no he could not swallow it;
And then, poor child. It was so tough.
He had to say he'd had enough.
Though never in tho world before
Was lad who had not wanted more.
And what became of Sammy's ma?
And what became of Sammy's pa?
Their profits gone, how could they eke
A living good from week to week?
They took the recipe for pies
That mother made and oh! so wise
Let Father make them In h!s way
In form elliptical, they say.
And when the football season came
Won fortune great, and wondrous fame.
Beyond the wildest hope of dreams
By selling them to football teams.
And those by whom this game is played
Called them the finest ever made,
"The Suregood football," made of mince.
Has never been quite equaled since;
And few who kick them with their feet
Know they're the plea Sam couldn't eat
The only pies upon this orb
A healthy boy could not absorb.
"A great poem, that, eh?'' said the Bel
lows, poking Tom, In the ribs, and grin
ning broadly.
"Splendid," said Tom. "New use for
pies, that."
"It's beautifully long," said Lefty.
"But why couldn't It bo published?"
asked RIghty. "Wasn't It long enough?"
"The editor said It wasn't true," sighed
the Poker. "He had three boys of his
own, you know, and he said there never
was a boy who couldn't eat a pie, even If
it was made of crowbars and rubber, as
long as It was pie."
"I guess he was right," observed RIghty.
"I knew a boy onco who ate soft coal Just
because somebody told him It was rock
candy."
"Did he like it?" asked Tom.
"I don't think he did," replied RIghty,
"but he never let on that he didn't."
"Well, anyhow," put In Lefty, "It's time
we had something to eat, and we'd better
set out for the Lobster shop, or the Can
dydike I don't care which."
"Or the what?' asked Tom.
"The Candydike," said the Lefthand
iron. "Didn't you ever hear of the Can
dydike?" "Never," responded Tom. "What Is
it?"
"It's a candy Klondike," explained the
Lefthandlron. "There are gumdrop mines
and marshmallow lodes and deposits of
chocolate creams beyond the dreams of
avarice. Remember 'em, RIghty?"
"Oom, mh. mh, mh!" murmured RIghty,
smacking his lips with joy. "Do I re
member them! Oh, my! don't I Just!
Why, I never wanted to como back from
there. I had to be pulled out of the pep
permint mine with a derrick. And the
o-. e& setso- j&- oimps - mm w -" .t -
h?. -3scANDYLjtAm' - w.
cj --', .. m u r o rJfrr ---jriz o - o. -
ADVENTURES OF RIGHTY, LEFTY
AND TOM COME TO AN END
river oh. the river! Was there anything
ever like it?"
Tom's mouth began to water, he knew
not why.
"What about tho river?" he asked
"Soda water flowing from mountain to
the sea," returned the Rlghthandlron.
smacking his lips again, ecstatically.
"Just imagine It, Tom a great stream or
soda -water, fed by little Tlvulets of vanilla
and strawberry and chocolate syrup, with
here and there a cream brook feeding the
combination, until all you had to do to
-get a glass of the finest nectar over mixed
was to dip your cup into the river, and
there you were!"
Tom closed his eyes with very joy at
the mere idea. '
"Oh! Where Is this river?" he cried,
when he was able to find words to speak.
"In the Candydike. of course. Where
else?" said the Poker. "But, of course.
o ooo
- r'
- . -jo r y o e o rs fvrsszji i cc v;v c ' o . . -
jj?yj7frr':-7- co ?-s
sz&sjr t-s"-'
THE BANKS OF THE SODA WATER RIVER.
we can go to the Lobster shop. If you
prefer."
"Not I," said Tom. "I don't care for
any Lobster shop with a Candydike in
sight."
"Don't be rash," said the Bellows, who
apparently had a strong liking for the
Lobster shop. "Of course, we all love the
Candydike because it, Is so sweet, but
for real pleasure the Lobster shop Is not
to be despised. I don't think you ought
to make up your mind as to where you'll
go next in tJo much of a hurry."
"What's the -fun In the Lobster shop?"
asked Tom.
"Purely intellectual, if you know what
that means," said the Bellows. "You
get your mind filled there Instead of
your stomach. You meet the wittiest
oysters and the most poetic clams and the
most literary lobsters at the Lobster shop
you ever saw. For my part, I love the
Lobster shop. I can get something to
eat anywhere. I can get a stake at any
lumber yard In town. I can get a chop
at an ax factory in the country, and if I
want sweets I, can find a cakery "
"Bakerj'. you mean,(" said Tom.
"No, I don't, at all," said the Bellow.
"I mean cakery. A c&kery is a place
where they sell cake, and when I say
cakery I mean what I say. Just be
cause you call it bakery doesn't prove
anything."
"We're out for pleasure, not for argu
ment," growled the Lefthandlron. "Go on
and say what you've got to say."
"Well," said the Bellows, "what I was
trying to say when Interrupted was that
you -can get your stomach filled almost
anywhere, but your mind that Is differ
ent. I'm hungrier In my mind than in
my stomach, and I'd rather be fed now on
the jests of an oyster, the good stories of
a clam and the anecdotes of a lobster
than have the freedom of the richest
marshmallow mine in creation."
"Well, I'm sure I don't know what to
do," said Tom, very much perplexed.
The Candydike was glorious, but the Lob
ster shop, too, had its attractions, for
Tom was fond of witty Jokes and good
anecdotes. The Idea of having them from
the lips of lobsters and oysters was very
appealing.
"I say," he said, in a minute, "why
isn't the Lobster shop the best place for
us to go, after all. If we are really hun
gry? We could sit down at the table,
you know, and listen to the lobster's an
ecdotes and then eat him afterward. In
that way we could hear the stories and
fill up besides."
"Well I de-clare!" cried the Bellows.
"What an idea! You most ungrateful
boy!"
"Not at all," said the Poker. "Not at
all. It's merely the habit of his kind.
Many's the time when I've heard of
men and women devouring their favorite
authors. Tom couldn't better show his
liking for the lobster than by eating him.
On the other hand, If he goes there and
turns his back on the Candydike. he'll
miss the most wonderful sight In all cre
ation, and that is the Nesselrode Cataract
on the Soda Water River. It is located
af the point where the Vanilla Glacier
comes down from the Cream Mountains
on the one side, and the famous Matrons
orchards line the other bank for a dis
tance of seven miles. It's a perfectly
gorgeous sight."
"Mercy, me!" cried Tom. "Indeed, I
should like to see that!"
"No doubt," put In the Bellows. "Never
theless, you can sec Nesselrode pudding at
home at any time, but did you ever see
there a Turtle that can recite a fairy
story of his own composition, or a Crab
capable or narrating the most thrilling
Etorx of the American Revolutionary War
that anybody ever dreamed of?"
"O dear O dear, O dear!" said Tom.
"What shall I do?"
As he spoke from far down In tho
valley there seemed to come a crash
and a roar, following close upon which
the barking of a dog made itself heard.
"The ice is slipping." cried the Poker
as the mountain trembled beneath them.
"There's going to be an avalanche, and
we're on it!"
The whole top of the mountain shook
as If It had been In an earthquake, and
then It began to crash rapidly down
ward. "Dear me! How annoying." observed
the Bellows. "As if we haven't had
enough coasting this trip without tak
ing a turn on an avalanche."
"But what shall we do?" roared the
Andirons excitedly. "I never foresaw
this."
"Slide, I guess," said the Poker calmly.
"It's all we can do."
The barking of the dog approached
closer.
"Good!" cried RIghty, clapping hl3
claws together gleefully, as an idea
flashed across his mind. "It's one of
those famous St. Bernards; he'll take
care of Tom, and as for us"
The thunderous roar of the descending
avalanche drowned the sounds of
Righty's voice, and all that could now
serve .as a means of conveying their
thoughts to each other was the making
of wild motions with 'the hands. The
Poker stood erect and stiff looking
grimly ahead of him, as if resolved to
meet his fate bravely, the Bellows threw
himself flat upon the glacier and pant
ed; while the two Andirons, standing
guard en either side of Tom. peered
anxiously about for the rescuer of their
little guest, nor did they look in ain.
for In a few moments the huge figure
of a St. Bernard appeared below them,
rushing with all his might and main to
their side. For some reason or other,
the St. Bernard seemed to have some-
thing familiar about him, but Tom
couldn't quite say what it was.
"Bow-wow-wow!" the dog barked,
gleefully, for this was just the sort of
work he most enjoyed.
Strangely enough, Tom seemed to un
derstand dog language for the first tlmo
In his life, for the bark said to him as
plainly as you plea:;e: "Climb on my
back, sonny, and I'll have you out of
this In. a jiffy."
The lad lost not a moment in obeying.
Aided by the affectionate boosts of tho
Andirons he soon found himself lying
face downward upon the broad, shaggy
back of the faithful beast.
Ho closed hl3 eyes to shut out tho
blinding snow for a moment, and then
Tom sat up and rubbed thom, for there,
was no snow, no avalanche, no Alp, no
St. Bernard dog in sight. Only a friendly
pair of andirons staring fixldly at him
out of the fireplace of his fathcr'3
library; the poker standing llko a gren
adier at one side, and the bellows,
hanging1 from a brass-headed nail on the
other. Besides thee, lying on the rug
beside him his head cocked to one side,
his eyes" fixed intently upon Tom's face,
and his tail wagging furiously, was JcfC
no not a St. Bernard, but a shaggy
little Scotch terrlor.
"Hello, Jeffy!" said Tom, as he rubbed
his eyes a second time. "Where have
you been all this time?"
"Woof!" barked Jeff, and cocking his
eye knowingly.
"And was It you who rescued me from,
the avalanche?" Tom asked.
"Woof!" replied Jeff, as much as to
say he wouldn't tell.
"Well. It was mighty good of you. if
you did. Jeff." Tom said, gratefully.
"Only I wish you could have taken mo
to the Candydike or the Lobster shop
Instead of straight home because I'm
not only hungry Jeff, but I should very
much have liked to visit those wonder
ful places."
"Woof!" said Jeff.
Which Tom took to be a promise that
his rescuer would do better next time.
The little party has not been off again
since, but the other night some pieces
of newspaper were thrown into the fire
place and all but one of them were
burned. Rightly held this one under hl3
claw and Tom. while trying to get a
word out of his friend, caught sight
of it
"Hello,"' said Tom, as he read what
was printed on the clipping. "The as
tronomers at Lick Observatory havo
discovered a new constellation in tho
southeastern heavens. It Is of huge di
mensions and resembles In Its outlines
the figure of a rhlroceros or some such
pachydermatous creature."
"Well, I never!" he cried, as he read.
"I say. Rightly, do you believe that's
the old Hippopotamus?"
And Rightly said never a word, but
the look in his eye indicated that he
thought there was something in tha
notion.
(THE END.)
How to Look for IJIrdn.
First Go alone and you'll see more; be
cause you won't be talking and you may
listen to nothing but birds.
Second Go In the early morning or In
the evening; birds rest at noon.
Third Wear old clothes and overshoes
or boots, for then you may go everywhere.
Fourth Don't forget your field glasses,
then the birds will be tamer.
Fifth Take a notebook and pencil so
that you may write down your Impres
sions on the spot. Your memory might
fail you.
Sixth Make a list of all the birds you
see and your next tramp will be moro
exciting.
Seventh When you see an unknown bird
don't fail to see what shape its bill Is.
Bills differ more than noses. Sketch bills;
that's the only way to see.
Eighth To arouse a bird's curiosity,
kiss your hand; the dullest bird will crane
his neck.
Ninth Move slowly; quick movements
excite things.
Tenth Keep off of dry twigs they are
noisy.
Eleventh Go under low branches. In
stead of brushing past them. A waving
branch means wind; a iarred one mean3
life and every bird knows It.
Twelfth If the mosquitoes will permit
it, sit down somewhere and keep "per
fectly" still for half an hour (to begin
with); then you may see a bird before ho
sees you.
Thirteenth Think about what you see.
Fourteenth Don't feel discouraged after
your walk if you don't eee much. Tha
walk was good for you.
Fifteenth Don't wear a white waist.
The snow Is all gone. Now things are
green, brown or gray. Robert, J. Sim, in
Primary Education.