X
THE SUNDAY OREGONIAN, PORTLAND, JANUARY 5, 1902.
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1 1
PORTLAND, SUXDA.Y, JANUARY 5.
"VITALITY OF R03IANTIO FICTION.
New and expensive editions of Scott,
Thackeray and Dickens have recently
been put upon the market in England
and America, and it has Just been an
nounced that Charles Reade's novels
are on the eve of handsome republica
tion in England. These facts illustrate
the vitality of the romantic school of
notion, whose highest expression Is
found in Shakespeare. "When the world
ceases to read Shakespeare, it will cease
to- read Scott and all the great modern
masters of the heroic school the men
who paint the highest possibilities, the
aspirations of human nature, not mere
ly make tinted photographs and articu
lated anatomical preparations of Its
cheapest and most commonplace activ
ity and accomplishment. It is not
enough for the realist to plead that
the world is full of imbecility and
meanness and small talk and Insane
avarice and seven-by-nine folk of all
sorts. On this ground the stage, instead
of heroes and villains of heroic stature,
would be filled with nothing hut squeak
ing dudes and simpering dolls. The
cheap novel has had Its day. The in
telligent reading. world is slowly but
steadily going back to the romantic
school of Scott, who nobly tells a noble
story and tells It decently, but declines
to people his books with persons who, as
Charles Lamb said, "go on forever en
couraging each other In mediocrity."
Fiction wrought by the school of
Scott, Thackeray, Dickens and Reade
will always be read with recreation
and profit so long as heroic poetry is
read with recreation and profit for its
wisdom and its inspiration. If roman
tic "fiction is to be derided without dis
crimination, then we might as well de
ride all literature that is not content
with bald facts, or the lives of non
romantic, non-heroic, depressing people,
who, being self-made, worship their own
creator. -Mr. Howells is never weary
of saying that the heroic type of hu
.manlty sketched by Scott, Thackeray,
.Dickens and Charles Reae stands
either for pictures of morbid persons or
for an obsolete expression of humanity.
The fiction of the future Mr. Howells
would fill with what he calls realism
substituted for what he calls the ideal
ism of the heroic and romantic school.
The argument is iiiat "Walter Scott be
comes obsolete in modern life, where
'there Is no heroism save when the man
is morbid. American life at its best is
only prigs and snobs when it is not
Silas Laphams or Bartley Hubbards.
,Thls is the plea of Mr. Howells for
peopling his fictions with the unherolc
or imbecile In American life rather
than the heroic that 'not seldom comes
home to his eyes in his morning news
paper. So we have a dreary, depressing real
ism In his fiction that stands for the
living death of the best of human na
ture; it is instinct with nothing that
stands for warning and rebuke we find
in "Vanity Fair" and "Pendennls," or
for the inspiration and aspiration we
find in "The Cloister and the Hearth."
"We get the dreary dribble of the petty
social world, where the men are all col
orless snobs and depraved dandles, or
vulgar, coarse, boastful American
doubles of Mr. Bounderby.. Mr. How
ells Is a charming essay writer, but
when he attempted to criticise the ro
mantic school of fiction by writing a
series of realistic, non-heroic novels he
failed, for his fictions stand for echoes
and lights from a world of moral and
mental opacity and fatuity; for folly
without blood, and selfishness without
byains; for sentlmentalism without soul;
for superficial refinement and social
languor without good feeling; .for a
very gross materialism whose delicate
hands and soft voice do not make Its
wooden head invisible.
This is American life which Mr. How
ells sketches in exposition of his theory
that Scott and Thackeray were all
wrong; that romance is really rot, and
heroism only the diseased action of
morbid minds, that systematic selfish
ness Is the every-day guide, philoso
pher and friend of the best American
life. This Insipid, forceless, yawning,
feeble, frivolous, silly social life, peo
pled with nothing but feather-headed
dolls and cackling dudes, has, of course,
a real existence among us, for it is not
in any large sense American life, for It
is the non-talkative, non-brooding, non
sentimental, non-morbid American com
mon people that are always surprising
us by heroic action and'chivalric con
duct Real heroism Is the characteris
tic of healthy minds and bodies, not
morbid organizations. Morbid minds
may, under the influence of supersti
tion or monomania, be capable of self-
torture, but heroic unselfishness and un
flinching devotion to duty, "when ex
pressed In deeds rather than words, is
the expression of a healthy, not a mor
bid mind, -whether you find It In a
humble miner or a high-bred Prince.
The sentimental affectation of heroics,
the garrulous enthusiasm of perennial
cranks, never crystallizes into a life or
death of genuine heroism or self-sacrifice,
but it is the healthy, plain people
of the world's great races, not their
maniacal, fanatical, sentimental folk,
that oftenest "without effort rise In
stantly to the level of heroic self
sacrifice. Men of all ranks and conditions of
life, of different degrees of Intelligence
and culture and circumstances, illus
trate frequently how the poet's dream,
the novelist's ideal of the heroic possi
bilities of humanity, are made part of
the glowing actualities of existence.
The dream becomes a deed; the ideal
hero is constantly bursting out of the
ground In unexpected places, like a
gnome In the forest, or coming up like
a lovely fairy out of the dark bog,
whose slime "we had scarcely suspected
hid in its depths a soulful shape of
beauty. The great artists of the ro
mantic school of fiction are legitimate
objects of criticism, but romantic fic
tion "will always appeal most strongly
to popular taste and feeling, because
It is human nature to worship ideals
in life and to be captivated by them In
literature. The other extreme Is Zola
with his disgusting realism. The
best answer to Howells' deprecia
tion of Scott Is the fact that the
"Leatherstocking Tales" are the only
ones written by Cooper that have en
during popularity, and this is because
they are written In the spirit of Scott;
they are picturesque, dramatic and non
dldactlc, and are the only American
novels that ever excited and held the
admiration of tho great English critics
6ave the psychologic romances of Haw-)
thofne.
THE REWARDS OF HEAVEN.
Captain Leary's life was strangely
eventful, and about his death there
hangs a peculiar pathos. He was en
titled to promotion to the rank of Rear
Admlral, and this long-hoped-for but
still-delaying honor was the one thing,
it seems, that troubled him in his last
Illness. Dally he asked for the expect
ed appointment, but day after day it
failed to come. Somebody interested
himself in the matter, and there was
a little stir in the Navy Department.
The appointment was made out, signed
by the President, and rushed on to Chel
sea. But it was too late. Another mes
senger, he of the Pale Horse and silent
tread, had entered Captain Leary's
chamber first and borne him beyond the
reach of red tape and official cliques.
When his brother-in-law, Dr. Irwin, re
turned from the funeral, he found the
appointment in the mail.
Nobody had anything against Captain
Deary's promotion. The honor he
wished to pass on to his survivors
would have taken no credit or emolu
ment from any jealous comrade. It was
Just that somebody didn't think. And
how many bitter tragedies are due to
no weightier cause than some well
meaning person's thoughtless procras
tination. The letter that wasn't writ
ten, the kind word forgot to be spoken,
the hand with aid In need that was
meant to be outstretched, but was not
till too late have all scattered sorrow
and disappointment on the 6ne hand.
and remorse on the other. All the world
knows now that Leary died a Rear
Admiral, but the one who most wanted
to know it died and never knew. It is
a common story. Many a word is said
above a lifeless form and printed in
obituaries that would have gladdened
the now dead heart when alive. For
giveness and atonement are "often In
tercepted on their way from its gener
ous giver to needy recipient, and trains
are rushing on this morning with anx
ious occupants, who will be too late for
deathbed reconciliations to which they
have long looked forward.
The dream of humanity has been of
another world where all these mistakes
shall be made clear; that after the night
of death there comes the morning of im
mortality. Listening Love, said Inger
soll, can hear the rustle of a wing."
There the wrongs of earth shall be
righted, its doubts set at rest, Its mys
teries revealed. There the wicked shall
cease from troubling and the weary be
at rest. There shall be no night there,
and God shall wipe away all tears from
their eyes. If It is a delusion. It is the
most persistent delusion of history. If
It is only a dream, then it is the most
stupendous hoax of the human mind.
It has warned millions back from the
ways of sin and consoled other millions
In the dying hour. Nothing could be
more worthy the soul than its aspira
tion to come come day into the presence
of its Maker with his approval. The
hope is one that ornaments character.
Even on grounds of public policy one
would not wish to see the believers in
immortality put to shame by the order
of Nature, which has raised man to his
noble stature of body and mind. Is
man nothing more than the beasts of
the field, the grass that wlthereth, the
tale that Is told?
Material conceptions of heaven, how-
.ever, have done' much to discredit the
belief in a future state. If Captain
Leary, for example, realises that he en
ters heaven as a Rear-Admiral, what
good will It do him? There are no na--vles
there, we can be sure, and rank will
be an impossibility where all human.
Institutions are unknown. We like to
think of the great man as pursuing his
achievements beyond the grave, but of
what avail, there, will be his history,
and seventeen languages, and political
economy, poetry and philosophy, botany
and numismatics? What we long for in
terms of earth it is depressing, but un
deniable will be Impossible in heaven.
The rich man can feel no sense of pov
erty, and the poor no sense of riches.
The earthly lazy will not have to work,
and the weary, can know neither weari
ness nor rest. How much is left for de
light when the things of sense are
stripped away.?
Beauty of sights and sounds, sunset
and shore and sweet music, household
voices and the embrace of love these
are of the mortal frame and perish with
the eye and car, heart and brain. We
have refined a little upon the African
who expects a hell of ice, the Eskimo
who looks forward to walrus and snow
In infinite profusion, and the happy
hunting-ground of the Indian; but we
are all apt to adorn the future state
with furniture as essentially earthly as
.the bow and arrow with which the In
dian is expected to greet the other
world. The wrongs of earth may be
made right in heaven, but not in the
coin of earthly values. What the dis
embodied spirit, bereft of government,
science, language and family ties, will
require for Its highest enjoyment or
greatestjpaln, our data, unfortunately. Is
Inadequate. The critics are finding
fauk with the Apocalyptic's celestial di
mensions; but their evidence Is no more
trustworthy than his.
COME AND WELC03IE.
It seems that the complaint of French
masters against the cost of sailors in
Portland harbor is taken very seriously
In the East, whose newspapers are
calmly discussing the prospect of a pow
erful French fleet coming here to stop
such proceedings. If a purpose of this
sort Is really entertained at Paris, we
sincerely hope It will be persisted In.
Some years have passed sUice a war
ship added to the attractions on Port
land's water front, and a whole squad
ron of French battle-ships and cruis
ers would afford objects of unusual in
terest and diversion. People would
come from miles around to see them.
Travel would look up, and business In
general would receive a decided stimu
lus. As to the Issues in hand, they could
be readily arranged, and the stay of
the squadron could be made pleasant
all round. In return for so distin
guished a visit, all hands hereabouts
would promise anything. The seaman's
abuse committee would spread a sump
tuous banquet to the officers of the
fleet, at which Consul Laldlaw, Larry
Sullivan and Mons. Labbe would bury
their differences and agree to furnish
able seamen at nominal ratea Inci
dentally a little spirit might be infused
into the French character, which would
forbid the French sailor to allow him
self .to be. treated "like cattle," as the
complaining documents have it. The
French seem to need a little enlighten
ment on the sailor's true Inwardness,
which has come to be apprehended with
reasonable accuracy by the British au
thorities. It is to be regretted, "however, that the
matter has attained such publicity; for
It will -only serve as notice to the ports
of Puget Sound to get a hostile squad
ron of their own. Seattle would mas
sacre every Frenchman In King County
for the sake of selling the squadron
what coal and other supplies It would
need. If the promised flset does set
sail for Portland, look out for blood
along Seattle's water front.
THE LATEST SHIPWRECK.
Too often to the story of shipwreck
Is added that of the selfishness, insub
ordination and brutality of the crew In
putting off from the doomed vessel with
the boats and life rafts, leaving the
helpless, terror-stricken passengers to
their fate. To the honor of American
shipmasters and sailors be it said, this
record seldom follows the wreck of an
American ship. The latest disaster on
the Pacific Coast, by which the steamer
Walla Walla was sent to the bottom
by a blow from an unseen vessel,
showed no exception to this rule. The
brave captain as competent as brave
went down with his ship, but later was
released by the breaking of the deck
above him, and lives to tell a story of
suffering and rescue that has Its coun
terpart In a thousand tales at sea. His
call to the stranger that ran his vessel
down to "stand by" him was unheeded;
she veered off into the all-engulfing
gloom of night and fog, was lost to
sight, and his ship went down In thirty
five minutes after receiving the fatal
blow.
Though not so disastrous in "point of
the number of lives lost, the wreck of
the Walla Walla Is similar to that of
the Pacific, which many years ago" went
down from the effects of a midnight
collision off Cape Flattery with the
American ship Orpheus. The Pacific,
overladen with living freight, groaning
like a sentient thing, went swiftly
down, but three survivors of between
200 and 300 souls remaining to tell the
awful tale. There was simply nothing
to be done In this case but to go down
with the ship, so inadequate were the
lifesavlng appliances on board, and so
quickly did she disappear. With but
little more time, the boats of the Walla
Walla were launched, and of ICO souls
on board less than a fourth of the num
berperhaps less than a fifth were
lost. '
We are disposed to think upon impulse
that nothing can mitigate the horrors
of a shipwreck, especially If this occurs
In the darkness. The record of the ex
cellent discipline maintained on board
the Walla "Walla while It was certain
that she was rapidly sinking, and of the
humanity displayed by the officers and
crew of the vessel toward the passen
gers and each otljer, dlspoves this Idea.
Contrasted with the scenes on board
the French liner La Bourgogne, that
went down on the Newfoundland coast
some months ago under similar circum
stances, the Incidents of this latest
wreck prove that there Is worse and
better even In disaster at sea which in
volves great loss of life. Horror in the
one case Is overcome by Indignation as
the recital proceeds; In the other It Is
softened by the admiration that hero
Ism and devotion to duty everywhere
Inspire. Pity for the fate of the un
fortunate ones who lost their lives by
the disaster is not the less abounding
because of the admiration aroused by
the calmness, the discipline, the hero
ism, the humanity, that combined so ma
terially to reduce the loss of life in the
face of probabilities so appalling. This
latest shipwreck differs from many that
have preceded In that these probabili
ties were prevented from becoming cer
tainties by manly courage and compe
tent seamanship, beginning with the
master of the vessel and extendlnc to
his subordinates to the last man of his 1
crew.
WAKING UP AT LAST.
, The Willamette Valley appears at last
to be "getting a move on." It is doing
nothing very wonderful, to be sure, but
far more in every material way than
at any former time always excepting
the very earliest time when the simplest
manifestations of progress were mar
vels truly. But for the first time since
wheatgrowing for export first attracted
the energies of the Valley, more than a
quarter of a century ago, there is
through its length and breadth a new
spirit, an unwonted stirring of the
blood. It makes no great show upon
the surface, but Its indications are plain
to careful observation. For example,
every Valley bank of standing is carry
ing deposits greater in number and
larger In volume than ever before. This
comes in part from sales of land to
newcomers, but in larger measure from
savings from the sale of crops during
the past two or three Beasons, and one
source is as significant and promising
as the other. Again, the Valley Is more
than supplying Itself and Its natural
markets with those things which it is
capable of producing, but of which in
times past it has not produced enough.
We are getting1 not merely our tradi
tional "soap, socks arid pickles" from
home sources, but our whole supply of
bread, beof, pork and pork products,
1 poultry and what not. It has come
about so quietly that the change has
escaped general notice. But comparing
conditions in this respect with, the con
ditions of a dozen or less years ago, the
change Is a radical one, and it is a
change of mighty significance In Its re
lation to the industrial and economic
life of the "Willamette Valley and of
Oregon.
Another significant fact: Almost dally
there Is chronicled In the local news
papers some special Instance of com
munity or personal 'prosperity on the
basis of some new industry or some re
vival of an old Industry. Here some
body has made a small fortune on his
season's apple crop; there an old cream
ery long abandoned has been started up
by new enterprise or the pressure of the
expanding milk production; here a
whole neighborhood is 'full-handed be
cause of good fortune in the hop sea
son; there a farmer Has made a sale of
his season's hogs with results unheard
of; here another has sold his prunes and
paid off a lcng-standlng mortgage; there
a new man from Iowa or Minnesota or
Illinois has come into the neighborhood,
bought some old and neglected place,
and with new energy and modern meth
ods Is giving the local community an
object-lesson In how they do things in
other countries; here a farmer long
barely able to "keep up his Interest"
and hold his head above water Is build
ing a new house with the profits of a
fortunate crop. And, better still,
every now and again there comes a
report to the effect that some up-to-date
newcomer or some enterprising old
timer" for It Is not always a new
comer who blazes out a fresh path
has Inaugurated some new and profit
able line of productive effort.
There is in all this a tremendous sig
nificancenothing less than that the
rich and long Inert Valley of the Wll- J
lamette is at last coming Into Its own
on the basis of new ideas and modern
enterprise. It Is a consummation long
waited and long hoped for. For rea
sons partly due to Its position and
unique character, and partly due to Its
curious tradition and habit, it has
lagged In the march of Industrial prog
ress. It has seen the Puget Sound
country, the Palouse region, the great
country of which Spokane is the center,
and the equally great country of East
ern Oregon, rise up from the wilder
ness and in a sense -pass it by in the
race for development. There have been
reasons for all this, but they have not
always been obvious, and it has long
been the fashion to make odious com
parisons and upon the basis of contrast
to belittle and deride the Willamette
Valley. This has never been generous
or wise; and events which are rapidly
bringing the Valley to the fore In many
material ways will soon make it ri
diculous. In the large value of Its poten
tial conditions the Willamette Val
ley Is far and away superior to any
other section of this fine country, and
a few years under the present rate of
progress cannot fall to mark an ad
vancement of which very few now even
so much as dream of. The larger prog
ress of Oregon, as these columns have
man-y times declared, rests upon the
awakening of, the Willamette Valley,
and the beginning of that movement Is
plainly at hand.
THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING RACE.
An Englishman, W. T. Stead, In the
current number of the Cosmopolitan
Magazine, quotes Cecil Rhodes, Andrew
Carnegie and the great inventor, Hiram
Maxim, as agreeing in the conviction
that the political unity of the English
speaking race is the great problem of
the future. They are agreed that in
order to secure the unity of the English
speaking race we must recognize the
fact that the center of unity has shifted
from London to Washington. Mr.
Rhodes said that his one idea about
home rule for Ireland was that it was
"the beginning of the Inevitable and In
dispensable Americanization of our In
stitutions." Mr. Carnegie thinks that
the triumph of democracy will not be
finally attained until the whole British
Empire has merged l,tself In the Ameri
can Republic. He thinks that the
United Kingdom of Great Britain and
Ireland would cut up nicely Into eight
states, each of which would be about
as populous as New York or Pennsyl
vania. He looks forward to the time
when the American Republic will be
come the Federated Republic of all the
English-speaking peoples; when mon
archy, aristocracy and established
church will disappear In the political
union of the whole English-speaking
world organized on a republican basis.
Rhodes, Carnegie and Maxim agree
that this prefigured unity of the English-speaking
world Is supremely desira
ble In the Interests of the peace, pros
perity and progress of the world; they
agree also In believing that America
has succeeded the United Kingdom in
the leadership of the race, and that the
only possible basis upon which the race,
which has the same language, the same
law, the same religion, the same litera
ture, the same family life, the same
moral Ideals, can be reunited 13 a broad,
elastic, federal system which finds Its
most complete expression at present In
the Constitution of the United States.
Mr. Carnegie Is quoted as believing that
any overture on the part of Great Brit
ain would be welcomed with out
stretched hands by America, but Mr.
Stead admits that certain American
journalists tell him that "Uncle Sam
Is now too big a fellow to care about
entering into partnership with John
Bull." Mr. Stead admits that the Im
mense majority of the English people
In England would today recoil with
horror from the suggestion that they
should sacrifice their independent im
perial existence in order to secure a per
manent place In the great federation
of the English-speaking people, but he
points out that In less than 100 years
the position held by Austria in 1S15 has
been usurped by Prussia and the Ger
man race has been unified under the
scepter of the Hohenzollern. He think3
it bighlyx probable that the English
speaking race will undergo the same
revolution In the twentieth century that
the Germans underwent in the nine
teenth. He anticipates that one by one
the various colonies of Great Britain
will tend Inevitably to gravitate toward
the United States.
Every one of these colonies has
adopted the American constitutional
system and rejected that of the old
country. There Is no established church
In the British Empire outside of Great
Britain. The colonial Legislatures are
all paid for their services. The English
land system has never been exported,
nor the English House of Lords imi
tated in any of her colonies. The ties of
kinship, the force of tradition and sen
timental loyalty are probably sufficient
for the present to keep the British colo
nies to their allegiance, but this senti
mental loyalty would endure no severe
strain. The Instinct of self-preserva-
tion no longer holds Australia or Can-
ada to the mother land, for the Boer
War has taught the highly intelligent
people of both these great colonies that
they need no longer have any apprehen
sion of an Invasion or conquest by any
foreign power. These great British col
onies no longer need to believe that but
for the shelter of the British fleet they
might be annexed forcibly to Germany,
France, Russia or Japan.
The new Australian commonwealth
has established a protective tariff
which excludes impartially from the
colonial market goods of the . mother
country and those of foreign states, pnd
America can, through reciprocity, pur
chase reductions on goods ImportedJnto
Cape Town and Melbourne by reduc
tions of the American -tariff on colonial
goods, while the English have nothing
to give the colonist in the way of re
mission of duty. The Immense and In
creasing wealth of the .United States
will ultimately attract to' the American
Union colony after colony, beginning
with those like Canada and the West
Indies, which are geographically within
her orbit. This is the forecast of an
Englishman that Great Britain is des
tined to see one after another of her
great colonies leave her to Join the
United States. Mr. Carnegie years ago
said: "The only course for Great Brit
ain seems to be reunion with her grand
child, or sure decline to a secondary
place, and then to comparative Insig
nificance in the future annals of the
English-speaking race,"
The late Captain Leary, first Gover
nor of Guam, was a somewhat eccen
tric character, but withal a man pos
sessed of the courage of his convictions.
As Military Governor of the little Island
of the Pacific he rule'd the easy-going,
happy-go-lucky people as he would the
men " hIs Ip' Accrdn& to,hls in"
terpretatlon, there are but two elements
In government command and obedi
ence. He sought to break up immoral
ity among the natives by compelling
them to marry; to eliminate laziness
from the native constitution by calling
upon men for a certain amount of work
every week; to induce thrift by pre
scribing the minimum number of poul
try which should be maintained by each
family, and to stop what he deemed
unnecessary noise by confining the ring
ing of church bells within distinct 11m
lta Though a conscientious man, he
was not popular, and soon had the
Government in a mlIdA sort of ferment
with the natives, whose habits and tra
ditions he took in hand so boldly. He
was In due time relieved of his com
mand and ordered to report. Yet he
was a gallant sailor who had been in
the Navy for nearly half a century,
having entered the service from Mary
land in 1860. Throughout his long serv
ice he never shirked what he conceived
to be his duty, and when the end came
a few days ago, in the Marine Hospital
at Chelsea, he was laid, to rest with
honors befitting a faithful servant of his
country.
The Oregonlan heretofore has re
printed a sample or two of the bur
lesque biographies of notable persons
that are amusing London, under the
head of "Lives of the 'Lustrlous," and
herewith It gives another:
Llpton Sir Thomas Johnstone, the King's
cupbearer, was born at Sandrlngham, which he
chose for that honor partly on account of its
la3t syllable. After sen-Ins for some years as
an Admiral of the Ceylon Navy; he returned to
this country, a master of teamanshlp. In spite
of a course of Sandow's exercises, ho cannot
yet lift the America cup. but he has recorded
the opinion that a finer set of gentlemen than
those whor malde it, who won It. who protect It,
and who write about It In the papers, could
not exist. It Is confidently conjectured m
sporting coteries that the good Sir Thomas will
win the cup in 1929 with Shamrock XXX. Sir
Thomas' address Is tho Mast Head. City Road,
and Ham Common. His motto Is: "The cup
that cheers, but not Inebriates"
These burlesques upon the names In
the "Dictionary of Natural Biography"
are having an Immense run In England.
Each of the two editors of these biogra
phies makes it a personal request that
persons having a grievance for this sort
of treatmen.t will call on the other edi
tor. Yellow fever has been completely
stamped out at Havana. Not a death
occurred there from It during the month
of November. Within the long period
of 140 years there has been no parallel
to this exemption. It Is attributable to
the rigorous sanitary measures enforced
by the United States, and to means em
ployed for protection against the "yellow-fever
mosquito." That this disease
Is transmitted by the bite of a variety
of the mosquito Is now accepted as a
sure truth of physiological science. It
is one of the most wonderful of recent
discoveries.
In the estimate of state expenses for
the year ending December 31, 1902, there
Is manifestly an oversight. There is no
specific provision made for music for
the Deaf-Mute School, magic-lantern
shows for the blind, or candy for the
Inmates of the Reform School. Per
haps, however, these Items come under
the head of "Improvements" contem
plated for these Institutions, or "contin
gent expenses," for which reasonably
liberal estimates appear.
There se,ems to be an oversupply of
Rear-Admirals In the Navy. Almost
every day we hear of Rear-Admirals on
the active or retired list whose names
are new to the history of their coun
try. How did we get such a crop of
Rear-Admirals? In Shakespeare's time
the word "Captain" had become so
common as to be as cheap as the word
"occupy," on which some gag was then
running in London. Let us now sub
stitute "Rear-Admiral."
No actor who comes to Portland Is
more welcome thtrh Mr. Fred Warde,
not because of any transcendent genius
he possesses as actor or producer, but
because of his conscientious methods,
his admirable character and his lov
able personality. It Is to be hoped he
brings us that beautiful play "The
Mountebank" this time uncut, for at
his last presentation of it here some of
its most effective parts were missing.
The State Reform School buildings
were not, it appears, intelligently, in
sured against loss by fire. For this
oversight on the part of somebody who
was supposed to know better the state
Is out in the value of the Industrial
building of that Institution recently
burned.
The reward In the Dalton-Wade case,
whoever is entitled to it, should be paid
promptly and made an end of. The
litigation menaced by opposing claims
.filed with the County Court would be
discreditable to all concerned.
The Panama Canal Is developing a
good deal' of strength. The railroad
crowd, who 'don't want any canal at all,
are all going for Panama.
IT'S WOMAN'S WAY.
"Two women placed together makes a
cold weather," says Shakespeare. A com
pound of Susan B. Anthony and Ida Hus
ted Harper Is a very frigid element Just
now. Mrs. Harper, In carrying on a war J
against a wicked world and a downtrod
den sex, has got Into a dispute over a
physiological question pertaining to wo
men. If the weather were not so cold,
the argument might get heated. But now
Is the Winter of Ida Husted Harper's
discontent, and the mercury is so cowed
that it dares hardly to peep above the
freezing point.
The focus where the forces of argu
ment unite their energy Is the "modem
woman" and the decay of family life.
The battle has been on for the past
month. It Is a stirring episode in the
"emancipation" of women. The amazon
in the fray is equipped with a magazine
of verbiage, which she draws upon so
volubly as to" show she has not yet ef
fected her own "emancipation" from the
frailties charged against her sex.
If the poet was right who said that
"to be alow In words is a woman's only
virtue," he was not acquainted with Ida
Husted Harper. "AH the reasonings of
men are not worth one sentiment of
women." observed Voltaire. "Very
learned women are to be found In the
same manner as female warriors." The
opinion of the biographer of Susan B.
Anthony appears to be such a sentiment.
Although woman has always borne the
burdens of the world, and although our
amazon warrior speaks poniards and
every word stabs: although the lady has
emancipated herself, she has not alto
gether made herself free, according to the
intrinsic evidence. She rather finds her
self In the plight of other slaves sud
denly come to their freedom, who do not
know how to use it. It is said In "King
Lear" that there never yet was a fair
woman who did not make faces in a
glass. Let us trust that the glass of Ida
Husted Harper Is not notoriety.
Tho battle was started by the Rev.
Thomas A. Hendricks, of Rochester, N.
Y. In an address several weeks ago he
made some very plain remarks, which
caused no small sensation. Seemingly he
let loose the wlnd3 of Aeolus, for a vio
lent storm has been raging ever since.
Tho object of his remarks was the Ameri
can college woman. He said:
It Is a very clearly established law that the
more a woman Is educated, the fewer chances
she has for becoming a mother. A woman
Ph. D. has about ten to one less chance of be
ing married, and if married of being a mother,
than If she wcro a Digger Indian.
But the reverend gentleman unbolted
himself still more. He let himself loose
In language which, although containing
perhaps a grain of truth, was Improper
and shocking to many prudish people.
Here are the words, reprinted with such
apologies as are due:
More than ever beforo does the young brldo
go to the altar with the distinct purpose never
to become a mother, but on the contrary to
devoto herself to a life of lust and pleasure.
even more Inconsistent with the perpetuation
of society than the life of her less charming
and less guilty sister of the pavement.
The fault of Mr. Hendricks was, per-
haps, not so much what he said as how
he said It. He pronounced in a bold way
what thoughtful people have been talking
about for a long time. Many thlnss are
said nowadays about the decline of fam
ily life. Much of what is said fails to get
Into print. The debate on divorce In the
Episcopal convention brought out many
facts which will not bear repetition. Dr.
G. Stanley Hall, president of Clark Uni
versity, has pointed out the failure of ed
ucation of women to cope with the social
problem. All physicians and scientists of
repute point out that culture and educa
tion are a physiological disadvantage. The
proof of this is Irrefutable. No wise per
son would dare to attack it.
Now enters upon the scene Ida Husted
Harper. She denies the established ev
idence. She does not attack Mr. Hen
dricks and Dr. Hall squarely, and In the
smoke of battle gets mixed up and sup
ports the enemy. Here again she has been
unable to emancipate herself from the
reputation of her sex. She denies that
motherhood Is the highest achievement of
woman, even though she herself, the heir
of all the ages, for whom the world has
waited ever since it began, had a mother.
She declares that woman has an individu
ality of her own, which she Is entitled to
enjoy without danger to her life and com
fort, even though her own mother hazard
ed both. She asserts that the "expense
and responsibility of bringing up children
are out of all proportion to what they
were a century ago," and "when the fam
ily is large It means for parents in mod
erate circumstances a lifetime of self
denial." "Think," she says, "what It
means for a woman to give the core or
her life, the beautiful years between 20
and 45, the time when the mental powers
are at their best, when enjoyment In the
pleasant things of this world Is keenest,
to the exacting demands of the nursery!"
If there Is any argument that !an dam
such a flow of selfishness, we do not
know of it. If there is any method where
by we can preserve our comfort and our
individuality without paying back to our
mothers what they gave for us, even Ida
Husted Harper cannot suggest It; even
she who imagines herself the final out
come of Nature's triumph. When we be
hold such a travesty on Nature aa she,
we exclaim, "Frailty, thy name is wo
man." even though the name should be
long with equal force to man. Forget
there 13 a world before us, and we have
no world to follow. Remember how the
world has come of agony and pain, ot
peace and joy, and we do honor to our
mothers' memories.
In the language of Ida Husted Harper,
the "modern woman" wants herseir.
Thank goodness she can have herself, and
she Is getting herself. But Immortality,
the only kind given to man, that every
person wants, who Is not given wholly to
self-love, she will not have.
Women have ambitions. They desire a
wider life.They are encouraged in their
ambitions, and will as much as possible
get all the Intellectual advantages there
are. Civilization requires education ot
women. The gabble of such wo
men as Ida Husted Harper Is proor
that some women need more education.
But there are recognized dangers which
increase as culture and refinement ad
vance. So-called reformers will not re
fute them by denying them or magnify
Ing something else into a grievance. In
telligent women will not fly In the face of
physiological facts. They will rather try
.to meet those facts with remedies. Un
less they can do so, culture will be like
to vanity, and as a shadow that passeth
away.
In Ilnrd I.uclc.
Thomas Youse look
Tattered
sick
Mouldy.
Mouldy Murphy Well, no wonder. I
hain't had nothln' to eat all day but cold
health food.
SLINGS AND ARROWS.
lament of an IgnoramHi,
I do not know
The square of 2xy plus abc;
I cannot show
Eow one triangle may be made to equal three,
T cannot tell
At what degree of heat white lead will bolL
Nor what befell
The men who first set foot on Zulu soli.
I have not heard
What kind ot disposition Homer had.
And not a word
Can I repeat of all the Iliad. 1
I have no ground
For speculation as to Job's content.
And never found.
Or tried to find, forsooth, what Browning
meant.
My dull mind lacks
The requisite ability to think
John Halifax
The greatest lesson taught with printer's ink.
I never fed
My fancy on the works of Sophocles,
And have not read
A single page writ by the late Thucydldes.
I don't believe
That Wagner's music is sublime or grand,
And do not grlevo
Because Chopin I fail to understand.
I cannot see
Tho merit In Dan Chaucer's shady song;
No use to me
Ars German bards with names ten Inches long.
And that Is why.
As I have been reminded o'er and o'er,
I'm not deuce high
In the esteem of her whom, I adore.
I'm but a fool.
And willing that the world should call me sucl
But, as a rule.
I think that modern maidens know too much.
It Floored Audrey.
"Touchstone," observed Audrey, as they
left the wings and started for their dressing-rooms,
"what's the difference between
tho stage carpenter and the author who
was back here just now to look at the
stage?"
"Too many for me," said the F00L
"One set the scene and the other seen
the set."
"Audrey!" exclaimed Touchstone, "the
next time you endeavor to perpetrate
conundrums, you will do well to remember
that your education has been sadly ne
glected as to grammar. But here is one
for you to untangle: What's the differ
ence between Edwin Booth and Iago?"
"Lor!" said Audrey, "what is the differ
ence?" "One played Othello, and the other
worked him. When you get that doped
out, come back and I'll give you another."
But Audrey didn't report In again that
night.
By the Sounding? Sea.
This Is the side of the sea. The breakers come
roaring and booming
In with tho turbulent tide, the whitecaps to
seaward are gleaming
And poising and wheeling afar, o'er the crests
of the moan-making billows.
The gulls are lamenting the statcsjf affairs
that close borders on famine.
This is tho side of the sea-; but where are the
youths and the maidens?
Where Is the tender young thing. In a soul
moving dress of white flannel.
Crowned with a halo of hair that the breezea
delighted to rumple.
Speaking such wor.ds as "Ah. no; I feah youh
addresses ah useless:
My mothah would neveh consent to a wedding
outside of ouh circle."
Sitting upon a 'high stool, with her ear wired
up to a switchboard
Tou'Il And her today. If you seek, calling con
stantly. "What Is your number?"
Where Is the marble-browed youth with a golf
suit of intricate pattern.
He who said: "I was advised by my doctor
to seek recreation.
Far fr6m the worries and cares that distract
a man so at tho office.
So I reluctantly left the duties that needed me
sadly.
And for a few weeks or so will recuperate here
by the ocean"?
Go to the great marts of trade, where the
clearance sales now are In progress.
Behind a long counter piled high with ribbons
and dresT goods and laces.
You will behold the same gent, and if you at
tentively listen
Tho voice that so mournfully told of the heart
breaking work at the ofllce
"Will rise In a well-practiced shout, and the
words It will say will be "Cash, girl!"
This is the side of the sea. but lonely the
storm-beaten bathhouse:
Silent the shuttered hotel, and abandoned the
wind-shifted sand dune.
This is tho side of the sea. but the time of the
year is midwinter.
A Man to the Front.
Telegraph editor There has been an
other terrlblo naval battle.
Managing editor Good, I will send a
man to Washington at once to interview
the participants and get the names of
the probable members of the court of
Inquiry.
Tlic Song of the Ofllce Boy.
"Oh, sing us a song full of peace and rest,"
They said to the minstrel pale.
"No mighty measures that stir the breast.
But a placid, soothing tale."
The minstrel's face looked pained and bored,
And with manner devoid of Joy.
Ho struck a barber-shop minor chord.
And sang of the office boy.
"His pace is slow and his face Is sad.
And his fastest gait's a creep.
And when you are needing him very bad,
lie's hidden away asleep
A dreamless sleep, out of which no man
His sad soul may decoy.
For an up-to-date, masterly sleeper you can
Depend on the offlco boy.
"He reaches his work exceeding late.
And makes but a fleeting stay.
For his lateness ho alm3 to compensate.
By going quite early away.
When the lack of ink and the want of pasta.
The offlccmen much annoy.
To escape, with a faint approach of haste
Tou can count on the ofllce boy.
"And when tho morning mail Is late.
And you're needing it. right off. quick.
You may calmly settle yourself to wait
For the office boy Is sick.
But hurry, we know, affects the heart.
And all hurry to destroy
Is ever tho only us"eful part
That's played by the offlco boy."
A Premature Interruption.
Professor If you Will go away back
Class Rats! What are you giving us?
Come off. Try It yourself. Who do you
think we are? Get onto the minstrel gag.
Where did you hear It?
Professor I shah be obliged If some one
will explain this Ill-mannered and un
seemly Interruption. I was about to say
that If you will go away back to the be
ginning of hlstoiy, you will be in a posi
tion better to understand what I am
about to say. You can consider yourself
excused from recitation until such time
as you see fit to apologize.
All the Brighter.
Now an" then a sunbeam
Cornea a-strayln by,
Iilghtin' up the mountains,
Flllln' all the sky
With a rosy glory"
You don't see when you
Been aDsorbln' sunshine
Fur a month or two.
Let the rains keep pourln
All the dreary year;
Sunshine looks the brighter
Fur the while It's here.
J. J. MONTAGUS.