2?!fwrs&pf5?fyiigrffgriffigfr IS THE SUNDAY OEEGONIAN, PORTLAND, JANUARY 14, 1900. "MP HIS COMMON NAME BUT HE'S THE GRAND TYmC THE EXTIIIE ILLIHEE. OP By "Gorcrnor'a Commission and Company's Permission," He Rules an Alaskan IjIe for TJncIe Sam, Away out in the Pacific ocean, off from the shores ol Alaska, Is a. lonely little Isle, with barely room enough for the small village of KUl-is-noo to find a lodgment thereon. There the Alaska "Whaling Com pany prepares fish oil for the market, and Isle and Inhabitants are objects of In terest to every arriving steamer-load of people. Arrivals are not frequent, as may fce imagined, hut whenever there is one, and the steamer is made fast to the pier, then the seafaring tourist is quickly out and abroad, in the search for novelty and experience. As you go up the little -wharf, you meet the portly form of an individual In uni form, splendid In gold trimmings and the portly form of an individual In uni exteads to you his large, fat hand and greets you -with a hearty "welcome. One -would think himself a friend of the old fellow who had just returned from a trip around the world, so glad appears ho to see you. But some one ventures the question, "Who is he?" The old gentleman is plainly astonished that people are so stupid as not to know who he is. However, he tells- us, with a show of comical dignity, that he Is high chief and governor of the town, and, J pointing, exclaims: "My house is yonder." Then, as he turns to lead the way, he extends an Invitation to every one to come visit him. "BIfir Injun, Mel" On nearing the house, he points with pride to his family "'coat of arms" over the door, with the painted Inscription in English: By the Governor's Commission and the Company's Permission, I am made the Grand Tyee of this entire Illibee. Prominent in song and story, I have attained the top of glory, As Sac-in-wa I am known to fame, Jake's but my common name. No totem stick adorns the front yard, where Sac-in-wa, "the Grand Tyee," stops to explain that, years ago, the governor of Alaska gave him "big power, my commission!" and shows you a letter, which tells you that he is a good Indian and a friend of the white people. He invites you to come in, and opens the door; he is simply delighted to have so much company. On entering, you are at liberty to inspect everything in the room. Ready for Business. The old chap's collection of curiosities end wares at once interests the tourist who 1s anxious to buy anything and every thing, and the governor is ready for busi ness. He can furnish anything, from a whale's Jaw to a native needle. There are baskets of beautiful design, bead work, matting, carvings in wood and bone, bracelets of solid gold and silver. Imple ments of war and native clothing of every inscription. Sac-ln-wa doesn't have to tell you that he is closing out his fall stock, "to make room," and that the article worth 70 cents is "marked down" to C9". cents. He has the one price, and you must be quick, or some one else nands over the sum asked and adds another prize to his collection. One realizes, as he hurries back on board the waiting steamer, with luggage mucn augmented and purse correspondingly de pleted, what a wealthy old schemer, Sac-in-wa, "by the Governor's commission and the company's permission, Grand Tyee of the entire illihee," is fast becom ing. Go north, young man; go north! W. S. VENTRILOQUISM A FAKE, About Played Ont as a Vaudeville Specialty Aovrada a. "Ventriloquism as a vaudeville specialty is about played out," said a veteran show man to a New York Sun reporter. "It was always a great fake. Of course, we know nowadays that there is no such thing as 'throwing the voice,' and that it is simply an illusion In which the eye plays a. bigger part than the ear. For Instance, a. man is seated on the stage with a me chanical dummy on his knee, and you hear a voice. The man's face is stiff, and the Jaws of the dummy are wagging naturally 3 ou jump to the conclusion that the voice comes from the doll. If you were right beside them you would know better, but 5 ou are too far away to exactly locate the sound. That's the principle of the whole taing, but in the old days the voice-throwing theory was generally accepted. I remember In the season of 1SS9-9D I was manager of a clever prestidigitator, who was also a ventriloquist. He claimed to be able to throw his voice 42 feet, and 'land it In a. space 10 inches In diameter, as you might speak of pitching a baseball or quoit. It was a most absurd contention, bat he stuck to it, even to me in private, md we had a stock story we used to work off on the country papers, about his ap pearing at a coroner's inquest and making the corpse accuse a suspected person of murder. At that instant the climax rar a hollow voice issued from the dead man's throat' It was a thrilling yarn, and, in the course of time, my boss got to beiieve it himself, and rrould narrate the details with every evidence of good faith. "During the performance he used to or der everybody off the stage, but occasion ally I would sneak around behind and listen through a peephole, and it was won derful how the illusion was lost. Fre quently, on the road, he would be em barrassed by requests to "throw his voice Into this thing or that to further some practical joke, and would always reply that 'his larynx was a trifle inflamed. SU1 he was a capital ventriloquist one of tho best, I believe, that was ever in the bus.ness." EXTRADITION'S LONG ARM. No Country Wliere a Criminal May Avoid Apprehension. "A very interesting fact of modern life that seems to have escaped attention," remarked a New Orleans lawyer to the Times-Democrat of that city the other day, "is that the world has wiped Its last City of Kefuge off the map. There is no longer any spot on the globe where our t uglLvcs from justice aro safe from extra tJon. "When I first began to practice law an American criminal of retiring disposition d a wide range of choice in the matter c foreign residence. Spain, Turkey, Al g.ers, Japan, Holland, Chile, Ecuador, the Pi upplnes, Cuba, and all of Central Amenta except British Honduras guar anteed security to assorted brands of fu gitives, from murderers down, and the Lst of resorts open to simple embezzlers was very much larger. For years you rcm nber, every runaway bank cashier mace a bee line for Canada, and the thing got to be a standing joke, like the moth-tr-In-law gag and the merry quips about plumbers. Nevertheless, the circle kept sedlly contracting and one by one the different countries entered Into mutual treaties and put up the bars, so the Amer ican crook who wanted a. change o air bean to find himself in the position of Dick Swiveller, when he checked off the London streets he couldn't traverse with out meeting creditors. It was mighty hard work to figure out a safe itinerary. Canada hung tenaciously to the tourist trade, but at last she passed a law against bringing stolen property Into the Domln ion and practically excluded the flit ting banker. Japan was one of the last of the distant powers to adopt a treaty cov ering what are called 'crimes against property, and the new proviso was a se vere blow to felonious gentleman In del icate health. It robbed them of the balmy climate of Yokohama. Eventually things simmered down to Central Ameri ca, and then by process of elimination to Spanish Honduras. That was the final stronghold of the fugitive, but in 1S9S the congress of the nation approved a new treaty clause, containing the usual extradition provisions. "So, as I said before, there Is now no City of Hefuge on the face of the earth. The man with a warrant goes whereso ever he lists." a o AVOIDS THE BOSS BARBER. Pat Man's DlslUfe to Beincr Shaved, by That Functionary. "You're next, sir," said tho bos3 barber, indicating a fat man who was burled be- I BTTHE GOVERNORS COMMISSION. g&WjPROMINENT IN S0N6 AND STORY I jANDTHF COMPANY'S PERMISSION Mfef I HWE ATTAINED W TOP 0F6L0ftf f AM MADE THE 6RAND TYEf F lK A$ SACWWa A" MOWN TO FAMf 0FTHIS ENTiBE IllAHEE fti j j v JARRBUT MY COfottON .NAME . l 1 1 p i -'' KEEPS PEACE AXD SEIXS CURIOS OX ONE OF TTXCIE SAM'S AIASKAN ISLES. hind a newspaper. "I'll wait for a while," replied the fat man. "I'm in no hurry." As another man climbed Into the vacant chair the fat man leaned over to an other customer who was1 waiting his turn, and confided that he was in a hurry, a deuced hurry, but he would rather lose his turn than be shaved by the proprietor of the shop. "It isn't that I have any grievance against this particular barber," he went on, "but I shun all boss barbers as I would a plague. In the first place, he patronizes you, and in the second place he is Invariably the worst barber in the shop. Then, too, it takes him about twice as long. He will lather one side of your face, and then go over to the desk to make change for a customer who is going out, for he is generally his own cashier. He considers it his duty to exchange airy persiflage with each customer as he leaves the shop, and by the time ho gets back to you your face is caked in cold lather. "This usually happens four or Ave times while you are getting shaved, and you may consider yourself lucky If a salesman for a perfumery or soap house doesn't come In to talk up his wares. In that event you are bound to be kept waiting for 10 or 15 minutes, and when you are finally shaved your peace of mind is destroyed for the rest of the day. No boss barbers in mine. I know 'em too well, and I wait every time." Philadel phia JEtecord. 8 o- Judge "Us Xot Yet. .Flushed with the first fierce Joy of battles won On foreign fields -where lo e of freedom called, The oppressor vanquished under tropic sun, A people saved from horrors that appalled; Exultant in our heroes of the sea. The fine high fruitage where all virtues met Sons of the gods, dauntlees immortals we! Judge us not 5 et. Dreams of vast empire held in freedom's name, Of golden argosies from tropic clime. Of earth-compelling' armaments that flame Their lurid lightnings at a rival's crime; "Vcot empire, made all Christian by the might That Christian lands from pagan traffic get Dazzling the visions glimmering on our sight t Judge us not yet. Passed the first frenzy of a wild desire. Sober and sane, yet proud, the nation stands; Tnrilled with the pulsings of immortal fire, The glory of her gifts to other lands. Freedom ehe bears, not license uncontrolled. And equal laws in stable compact set; Faithful and firm the hands that justice hold Judge us not yet. Urged by no outworn precept of the past s And fill the sky with smiles, The farmer has a fit and tears his hair To kill the spirit cf thedecd that's done, ( The nation holds the very present fast. And plans a mightier future Just begun. Ah, not in vain the battle's awful clash, Xor vain the fields with blood of heroes wet Oppression's power is trembling to the crash. Judge us not yet. The word unalterable of God's decree Of universal Justice and good-will Sweeps 'round the earth from sea to tropic sea, His might. His tried and chosen people still. Not all unworthy did our fatheie stand; Our sins, O Lord, we pray forgive, forget; Uplift us now by Thine almighty hand Judge us not you Independence, Or. S. T. J. s SJxe Had to TPalkey-PalUey. A carrier on his way to Hinckley over took a poor woman carrying a baby. She was very tired, and asked h.m if he would give her a lift. "Yes, missus," said he, "if you won't talk rubbish to the baby." The woman promised not to do so, and got in. "They had not proceeded far when the baby began to cry. "Hush, my little ducky-wucky," said the mother, "you're going to Hinckley-Pinck-ley to see our uncley-punckley." "Now you can get out and walkey palkey," said the carried. "Weekly Tele graph. q a "Or Else We Die." The bleak wind whistles through our pants In manner sharp, unfeeling, And many a desperate Jig we dance To keep us from congealing. Oh, j e delinquents, hear our prayer. And bestir jour loitering peglets. And -chip In for another pair Of pantlets for our leglets. Or. else we die and eoar on wings To where the never wear euch things. New Era. HOW HE SPENT A MILLION JOHJT I STTLMVATTS RECKXESS EX PENDITURE OP A FORTUNE. Twenty Years of Money-Malting-, on tho Stagre and In the Prize Rinar, and Xanjjht to SIlotv for It, John Ii. Sullivan, the ex-"champlon of champions," while sitting in the office of his new place, "the Inferno," on Broadway, New York, a week or two since, told how he had squandered near ly a million dollars which he had earned during his slightly less than 20 years connection with tho prh ring and theat rical enterprises, to a. correspondent of tho Baltimore American. Some portion of the story has found Its way by tele graph throughout the world, but -it is interesting enough to be given in its en tirety, as a commentary on the manner In which an ignorant, uneducated Boston hack driver, possessed only of a rare physique and the qualities which go to the making of a perfect fighting ani mal, amassed such wealth and, having amassea, disponed of it, in compara-' tively so short a time. The "big fellow" was running through his personal papers, and paused at an entry made a little more than 10 years ago, just after his remarkable battle with Kilrain. "With a grotesque shake of his grizzled head, as he pointed at the item, ho remarked: "That's my courthouse. I paid for It, , and If justice were done I would be able to go down there and cart it off. It cost too rriuch, anyway. h Pressed for an explanation of his re mark, Sullivan clinched his teeth tighter into tho butt of his cigar, paused remi nlsceratly for a moment, and then pro ceeded: How It "Was Done. "Well, you have asked how I succeeded in spending a million dollars in a few years, and I suppose that this story will rr r ' fi X LrtT'-ilr. ISA v Mil -- MK -v Sjt Main street, San Jacinto, Cal., after recent earthquakes. serve to give you an insight into the business. Here," throwing a time-yellowed paper across the table, "you see u,1 haVe chared myselc I with $18,000. That represents the big end of the money I received for beating 'Jake i tills entry where I have charged myself aviiram. maae a nresent nf it tn unma . friends of mine down in Mississippi. j "You will remember that I was arrested ' l SJS-ni ?ZtrhZ I Tfe-c ! a lHKiSS'ft 7SBH ih wm 9M tJz m SIbsL zyhsSr -oo ... .....jwU.,o..F.t... iiai, i woium oita.ii.iuti piirtuers. j.ney are cost- they needed a courthouse at Purvis. They ly luxuries. Managers, too, are neces never had been able to put one up, and, sary, but expensive. I have divided half knowing that I had plenty of cash, they ! a million dollars with my manager, while proceeded to put on the screws. I gave a man in any other business would have ! i.ui.m.i i ii i ' i iim i Minimum viuimit ;iirm in rn.m en,. ,,,!., , ...... , -..,,II,.,.I .aumipjpmjujjn rimm U .i 'j,i lih fejadBllMii YCnrjo-. RIVERSIDE COUNTY up $18,000 In on lump. Purvis got its courthouse all right. "Still, what was $18,000 in those days? If that was all that I have ever been robbed of I would be a wealthy man now. I havo literally given away more than $200,000. I never took a man's note la my life. I have loaned sums of $5000 and $10,000 more than once, and always held that if a man was not honest enough to pay, his note would have no effect upon him. If they thought they were beating me, they were mistaken. The money was a gift I don't now consider that I am any man's creditor. "My first earning in tho ring was of little consequence. It was just 19 years ago this coming New Year's that I de feated John Donaldson, in Cincinnati. I liked to fight in those days; and, in order that I should not be disappointed, I con tributed $50 toward the purse, which only amounted! to $78, making my net gain for whipping Donaldson just $28. For "Whipping "Paddy" Ryan. "I fought and whipped 'Paddy' Ryan, at Mississippi City, February 7, 1882, and received for doing -it $4500, which wa3 about half my due. I was robbed of the balance. On my way home I gave exhibitions at Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Buffalo, Pittsburg and New York, and received $24,900 as my share of tho receipts. "For whipping Elliott I received $2600, and when 'Tug "Wilson staid four rounds with mo at Madison. Square garden, I was paid $10,000. A few weeks In the show business brought me $16,000, and when "Williams, in May, 1883, stopped mo from giving 'Charley' Mitchell the final blow, I was still ablo to add $12,000 to my bank account. Beating Slade, the Maori, was worth another $12,000 to me. I put $50,000 into a. saloon: In Boston, and took out twice that amount." i Then tho former champion sketched more of his .winnings, and said: "They were coming my way in great shape about 1883. Two exhibitions In which I beat big John Dafiln and 'Alt' Greenfleld, In Madison Square garden, brought mo $33,000, and for 30 seconds, the time it required for me to put 'Paddy' Ryan out, I received $8000. I would like to work a few hours at (that rate now. "In 1885-86 I was with a minstrel show. doing the states, and received $35,000 for my work. J whipped Frank Herald in Allegheny City and earned $8000. A saloon In New York brought mo in $15,000. Another exhibition with 'Paddy Ryan, this- time in San Francisco, was worth $15,000 rto me. I toured with 'Pat' Sheedy, and we hia $80,000 to divide. "When" I broke my 'arm on 'Patsy' Cardiff I was given $10,000 as a balm. Then I went to England, and brought $28,000 home with me. A benefit in Boston added $5000 to my total, and that brought me up to the fight with Kilrain, at Richburg, Miss., July 8, 1889. I retained the champion ship, and received $26,000 for doing tho trick. Then I bought my courthouse. immense Theatrical Profits. "Playing with Duncan Harrison in 'Honest Hearts and Willing Hands,' I drew $60,000, which we divided. Corbett and I fought In New Orleans, September 7, 1892, for $15,000, winner take all. He got it. However, my benefit in Madison Square.garden started me off with $17,000 again. Two seasons in 'The Man From Boston' were worth $120,000, and I took $30,000 moro out of the play, 'Tho True American.' "Now, if you will make a total of those amounts you will have something like a million dollars. How did I spend it? "Well, put down $18,000 for that courthouse, $200,000 more given away; then add an other $200,000 for entertainments of a liquid nature, and finally about $S0,000, losses in gambling and speculations. That disposes of half of it, and that half I should havo saved. "I suppose my legitimate livinjr ex penses have been about $200,000, and my' ngnts pernaps cost mo $100,000 In training and kindred expenses. I have sunk about $200,000 in unfortunate business ventures. "With a fighter money comes easy, and It goes the same way. I spent $5000 train ing for my battle with Corbett, and lost $20,000 betting on myself. I always kept a stable of trainers following me, aud they were a heavy expense. "But it was being a good fellow that broke me. I was the great and only 'John L.' Say, ray boy, that title cost me enough money ito last an ordinary man a lifetime. I was too easy. "When someone would say that I was tho only one, it meant another basket of wine. When another would say that I never refused a friend a dollar, and afterward asked me to lend him fifty, he got a hun- dred. men, too, I was slow. I was slow in getting to the box office. The others got there first, and the first count of re ceipts was the largest. Was I robbed? Yes, I was robbed. If I had what they took from me, I would be satisfied. Ho Had His Fllnir. "However, I don't regret it. I had my fling, and I paid for It. I haven't touched a drop of liquor for six months, and am not going to drink again. I feel as well as ever, and if I could lose a bit of fat, I would havo another try in the ring. But that is out of the question. I am going to try to. make my business a success, and if I ever get another they will havo to break the United States to break me. My money will go into bonds." "Jim" Corbett, who wrested the cham pionship from Sullivan, has also known the ups and downs of life. He spent 5S500 getting himself into shape to be defeated by FJtzsimmons, and lost $16,000 which he bet on himself in that fight. He received $20,000 from tho purse and $50,000 as his share of tho picture money. He said yesterday that his money, like Sullivan's, had gone in riotous living and in staking his friends. Unlike "John Ii.," however, he has never gone the limit. He still owns his house, which he values at 5i0,000, and has money otherwise invested, ,, 1 ,- II1A M I J ", l. J.X ,1, . i, b L' sj-14-'-Uioe"v IS a g00Q tnlnS r every borrower in tho land. Wo j have to give up. Sullivan has given away a fortune, no doubt. If I had what is ' .ii -.. r ,,i i , , ,,, ,it the money. We are all spendthrifts. A man with one erood trainer mn fit iim Wlay f VeflV : "I traln" . ST"v" HOSPITAL AT SAN JACINTO AFTER been able to hayo kept It all himself. It Is the unnecessary expenses which keep a pugilist broke." True Enough. i Some men get on in life by working And some by lajlng plans; And each would like to drop his cailinff And take come other .man's. Chicago Times-Herald. RUIN ON CHRISTMAS DAY EI TEMBLOR'S RECENT MANIFESTA TIONS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. Building; Shaken Flat and Men and Women Rendered Helpless, Ernt- Trlillo Heath Claims His Dae. Christmas day In 1899 will long; be mem orable in Southern California. Just be fore the dawn's first glimmer on that day the southern part of the Golden state was ylsited by one of the most severe earth quakes in its history. The damage was confined to a limited area, but tho tremor was felt throughout an area of about 150 miles in diameter. The first shock was experienced at 4:43 A. M., and a succession of sharp, twist ing, wrenching shocks followed, with scarce a second's Intermission between them. They were unheralded by the usual pre liminary warnings, and the phenomena wore unique in several other noteworthy particulars. The center of tho 'earthquake appears to WILL RIVAL Among the many freak schemes for the Paris exposition will be one, provided Its promoter can procure the necessary capital, which will rival the famous Ferris wheel, of the world's fair, at Chicago. It will be a gigantic umbrella, with a car for passensers attached to each rib. "When the umbrella shall be closed the cars will rest on the ground, but when opened it will raise the cars upward and outward to a height of 350 feet. have been in the San Jacinto range of mountains, in Riverside county, the undu lations from that point extending westward and northward. Tauqultz, one of the tall er peaks of the San Jacinto range, has long been regarded as an extinct vol cano, and no amount of persuasion can In duce an Indian to approach the dreaded mountain. The Indians gave it its name, which, in English, is Devil's peak. For a week previous to the quake, om inous rumblings were heard about the base of the mountain, and the Indians are not alone in thinking that there was some mysterious connection between them and tho subsequent seismic disturbance. San Jacinto in Ruins. San Jacinto and Hemet are the only towns which suffered serious damage from the shocks. San Jacinto Is a town of about 1200 people, nestling almost at the base of the mountain range which gave it its cog- ffiBtnPffliffli, b vjum "What cl tcmblo did to a San Jacinto (Cal.) laundry. nomen. Tho town has only one main busi ness street, and on this there were about ww.-w.. .. .. MM.Ab V.VV.4&IJ J.IIUUJ fcVf fcV .earthquake. All are in ruins now, and wfif have to be rebuilt 7 it Ar th 7eVer S of t he shock" ' Sat the nhenom! fnonoLli A,HnS,?51 Phe phe e. a .r .. -" "w u"'MU"'i "" siderable loss of life would have been In evitable. As it was, no one in the town proper was Injured. Escapes were nar- P Terror was widespread, and th, rac tho bravest and most cool-headed of the cit izens became distracted by the roar of fall Jng walls, the crash of breaking crockery ond bric-a-brac, and the awful, sickening motion of unstable Mother Earth. THE SHAKE-UP. When daylight came It was found that practically every building in the town was a wreck. In every instance, the south VaU "was down, all walls falling outward. This partly accounts for the fact that no one was Injured In the buildings. The county hospital, built a year ago at a cost of $10,000, was the chief sufferer, an illustration on this page showing how Its south wall was tossed Into tho street. Tho terror of the unfortunate inmates, who were utterly powerless to escape from the violently rocking building in which they were threatened with death at any moment, was something pitiable to wit ness. But there waa nothing that could be done for them, for those who attempted to go to their assistance were thrown to the ground'by the shocks and rendered un able to help even themselves. A half dozen miles from the town of. San. Jacinto is the Soboba Indian reservation. Tho Indians celebrated Christmas eve with a fiesta, and a number of the elder women and children of the tribe decided to remain In the large adobo structure where the festivities were held and cook their break fast there. Tho firs" shock threw tho mud walls of the building onto them and six were killed outright. Three or four others were-also Injured, but not seriously. Those killed were the old basket-makers of the village, and It Is feared that the art of making the famous Soboba baskets was lost with them. Damage at Hemet. At Hemet, a little town three miles from San Jacinto, like scenes were enacted, but tHe damage was generally less. A half dozen brick buildings were badly wrenched and shaken up, but the walls of only one felh The Hotel Hemet. a rather preten tious brick building, costing near $50,000, suffered the greatest Injury. Every chim ney was sent crashing through tho roof, FERRIS WHEEL and one corner of the building fell In, tho weight of brick making kindling wood of a bed on which had just lain a woman and child. They escaped by jumping from bed at the flr3t ehock. With characteristic Western enterprise, the work of rebuilding was at once begun at San Jacinto and Hemet. and in a month or two little will be left to mark the track of the earth's mighty undulations. Xo serious earthquake had previously occurred In Southern California since 1812, when the large mission building at San Juan Caplstrano was destroyed. Some SO In dians were killed at that time, and great fissures appeared in the earth. The Christmas quake was remarkable for the small area affected; with the ex ception of the two towns mentioned, no other part of Southern California suf fered damage greater than that occasioned by crockery being knocked off shelves and by breaking glass. And there were other peculiarities. Artesian wells about San Jacinto, which had long been dry, began to flow again, and hot sulphur springs burst out near the baso of Tauquitz peak. The undula tions had seemingly a rotary or twisting motion, for a number of statuettes were turned half about and buildings wero warped, as if by a cyclone. After their one forceful engagement, the shocks ceased and only two almost imperceptible tremors were felt afterwards, whereas usually se vere quakes are repeated, later shocks not Infrequently being heavier than those which come first. The disturbance was preceded by a spell of unusually warm weather, tho thermometer registering from 75" to 0 deg. three or four days before the shocks came. Entertaining Sinter's Bean. My sister's beau's a feller 'at mo3 any one d like; Ho's orful good t' me, an once ho let ma rida hlablke! He'd Ief it otandln' by the gate, outside, an' I got on An' maw lit into ocoldin. but he topk my part, doggone! He said I wouldn't hurt It, an' I didn't, neither. Say! But ain't It mean to scold, a boy 'fore comp'ny that-a-way ? Hy tops an' balls he looks at, an ray "For-a- Good-Boy" cup. When I'm. a-entertalnin hun, while els is dressln up. He's Jeo" wrapped up In furrln' stamps, post marks, an' tin-tags, too; I showed him mine an' he Jes looked my whul collection through. He says he "dotes" on bird egga, an he han dles 'em &o if He knowed 'ey'd break like ev'rythlns If once 'ey got a bin"! An', say, he listens to me when I tell him thlng3 on sIb, 'Bout her laot beau. Jus' 'fore him, an' how I seed 'em kls3! The feller, laughln', says. "Oho, of knowledge deep I sup" When I'm a-entertainln him while els Is dressln' up. 'K'en sis she comes down stairs, "with face ao fair as any salni," I heard him say, soft like to her he, doesn't know It's paint! I'm 'most afeard to tell him, though I want to mighty bad, For ho's the tlptest toptest beau 'at sis she ever had. An' 'tlsn't right to fool him. Gee! he tells euch bully things. Of shootln' bears an' catamounts an' all such scary things; An me an hftn talk ev'rythlng, from porky pine to pup. When fm a-entertalnln' him while si3 is dressln' up. Roy Farrell Greene In Leslie's Weekly. She Had Him Landed. Her Father (from tho head of the stairs) Ethel, Is tho young man gone? Ethel (in an ecstatic stage whisper Awfully, papa! Melbourne Weekly Times. a Prefers to Pay It Bnck. "A stolen klso or a borrowed kh, Which is your "favorite, smack?" "A borrowed kiss." replied the mls, "For it can be paid back." -Thicago Dally Jfewa. ACTOR NOLL ON CRANKS DECLARES THAT WITHOUT THE3X DRAMA WOULD RETROGRADE. "Theatrical Crankiness" a Term Ap plied to Those Wlio Introduce Progressive Innovations. James NaJH, whose dramatic company begins a week's engagement at th ifttr quam tomorrow, stands well amoar tha foremost of stock organization tar3. This is his and his company's first ex tended trip on the road, they having here tofore mostly played, for months at a time, In the larger cities of the country. They have only recently competed a 38 weeks' successful engagement at St. Bui and Minneapolis. The success of Mr. Neill, aside from his ability as an actor, is largely due to his attention to apeia! scenery, stage settings, praparttee and what, in theatrical parlance. Is known as the "businftsa" of the profession. HOs property "plots" are among th most elaborate In the country, and hte devo tion otherwise to tho technique of the stago has earned for him the title of "the atrical crank" among less careful anL painstaking actors and managers. ThJg. by no means, offends Mr. Netll, who, on. tho contrary, regards It as somewhat in the nature of a compliment. In a conver sation on the subject with the writer he spoke his mind freely, and bis words aro entitled to the more consideration be cause of his straightforward manner of saying just what he means, regardless of consequences. "Cranki" Make Progrress. "There are a great many people tot tbist world," said he, "who being satiefted to remain quiet themselves and live une ventful lives, object strenuously to ay innovations upon the part of othere tees contented than they, and who apply to the latter the familiar appellation of 'crank.' Has It ever occurred to the av erage observer to analyze the actions that. caU forth that term? "They embrace all ambition, all enter prise, all originality, all desire for some thing better than has been before. With out them all improvement would eeaeer worse than that, there would he retro gression, for nothing can stand still Hi this ever-pushing world. All hail, then, to the 'crank' who ruffles the lazy ealm e the 'good enough' and pursues hte advanc ing course la spite of protests anil anath emas." . Applying his remarks to tho profession of which he is so brilliant an ornament, Mr. Neill said that a stage manager ea not afford to disregard anything; tht might add, in the least, to the attractive ness of a performance. "That will "' Is a phrase that can never be . sat&fiM tory excuse for an apologetic substitution. There may be only one auditor who o tlces the substitution, but his taste, is of fended. He continued, saying: "Authors have much to thank the actor for In the realization of their intended. but not always expressed Ideas. Many a. time has a dramatic writer held Cainlike feelings against tho stage manager who has ruthlessly cut one of his most beau tifully rounded speeches to a single wort, supplemented by action. But It is often that very change that makes aa effec tive scene of what otherwise would have been tiresome and prosy. In those rare Instances, where an author is also an actor or stager of plays, of course this difficulty is reduced to a minimum. But even then much can bo brought eut at re hearsals, which would never become ap parent from simple readings. This phase of theatrical 'crankiness' is more thor oughly understood by the general public than any other, for the public has learne to appreciate the difference between spirited dramatic action and tedious talk. Stasingr a Play. "But that which contributes qaUte as much to its pleasure, though not so rendu lly evident to It, Is the matter of mtnos stago decorations. The most casual oh server would either scoff or become sar castically hilarious wtere the manage ment of the Neill company, for instance, to place before him an attic chamber to represent a king's palace or an Egyptian. temple to do service for a modern draw ing-room. Therefore, It has come about that the scenic artist is kept busily at work, and that there Is seldom anything so Incongruous offered to the public. "When, however, it comes to the furni ture which shall be placed upon the stage in that scene, tho pictures,, the eurtaina, the draperies which shall decorate the walls, the bric-a-brac which shall orna ment tho tables, and the countless little things which would glvo verisimilitude to the scene there often arises a deposi tion to believe that the Rudieneo 'will not know the difference.' This is a great error, the consequence of which Jm too little appreciated, and which often leads to failure, where otherwise success might have been looked for." Mr. Neill was of the opinion that there is far moro artistic sensibility amosa the general public than Is commonly supposed. This, he said, a careful ctor or manager strives never to offend. An actor wilt he condemned for appearing In a costume not historically or otherwise correct Why then, is It not necessary, for example, for Captain Lettarbialr to have a London Times to reed upon the stage instead e even so excellent a paper as the Or gonian, when the scene of the play Is lawl In England? "Would there be anything."" Mr. NelM asked, "moro ridiculous than for David Holmes, the conscientious literary critic and ardent lover of books. In 'A Bach elor's Romance.' to have In his eherfaned library only books painted upon the ean- vas? The canvas Imitations may do to some extent, but the real articles must be there as well. There are sure to ho some eyes In the audience, sharp enougk to detect the difference, and It will cer tainly givo a shock to their owner's en joyment. Other Senses to Be Consulted. "A man in good society Is called uson to light a cigar. Some sensitive nose In the audience will be offended if the etgar is a '5-center.' An elaborate banquet must bo real. Makeshifts for food and wine aro relegated to the past, and there Is or should be no more slicing- of wood and brown paper from the breast of a. proper ty turkey, at which the guests make vig orous show of mastication, while the quantity on their plates never dimmlahep. All these details have their Influence upon the audience. "I was frequently asked," continued Mr. Neill. "during the time that our com pany produced 'The Senator. in Minneap olis and St. Paul last summer, why, hi the breakfast scene we went to the bother of making coffee upon the stage. It added an extra and useless expense, we were told. The coffee was made upon the stage. for the reason that that was the proper place to have it made, and also because Its odor actually permeated the ahr of the auditorium and every one therein be came Instantly more In sympathy with. the scene and, for the moment, considered himself or herself an, actual partieipaat therein rather than an auditor. "And this," concluded- Mr. NettJ. "is what the so-called 'crankiness' consists of, and because we do these things," con cluded Mr. Neill, "we are called 'cranks.' Of course it all could be carried to ex tremes, but I. for one, think it better to err on that side than upon the score ei Incompleteness." Far Gone. He Darling I She In a minute. He Darline! 7rjg?T" , 'She Here I am, dearest. What 1st 142" He Nothing? ' Just darHngi-New Tsckf Press.