Page 8
March 20, 2019
O PINION
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Stop Making Women Apologize
No more to
carrying this
weight
t raCey l. r ogers
I was getting on a
bus with grocery bags
in hand, apologizing
profusely to the driver
as I scrambled to find
my bus pass.
He curiously looked
my way; I thought he was judging
me as I convincingly portrayed the
damsel in distress. To my relief,
however, he actually smiled and
said, “It’s ok, ma’am. There is no
need to apologize.”
I reflected on the driver’s kind-
ness as his words began to sink in:
“There is no need to apologize.”
He was right. I wasn’t holding
anyone up or causing any prob-
lems, yet I still felt the need to say,
“I’m sorry.”
by
For many women, offering an
apology is second nature. In a
country where women have been
traditionally cast in the role of
“appeaser,” asking forgive-
ness has been ingrained
into our DNA.
It’s something we’re
taught at an early age —
to be nice and polite as all
young girls should be, rein-
forcing gender norms that
began at this country’s in-
ception.
Our culture is one that silenc-
es women in order to uphold pa-
triarchy. “I’m sorry” has become
a filler in the English language.
Whether asking for what we need,
or stating our opinion, women of-
ten begin with an apology for hav-
ing the audacity to speak at all.
A study done in 2010 confirmed
that women apologize more than
men. The research speculated that
women were “more concerned
with the emotional experiences of
others” — no doubt a symptom of
our socialization.
In 2014, Pantene put out an ad
campaign entitled “Not Sorry,”
which highlighted the various
ways women issue apologies al-
most immediately in most settings
— at work, at home, even with
strangers.
It seems no matter how far
we’ve come in the era of #MeToo,
women are expected to deflect,
give excuse, and provide explana-
tion with just two simple words:
“I’m sorry.”
Holding oneself accountable
for genuine wrongdoing should be
the norm. For women, however,
our “wrongdoing” is often simply
our attempts to take up space and
have a seat at the table.
To remain “collegial,” for
example, Dr. Christine Blasey
Ford was apologetic throughout
her entire testimony against the
nomination of Brett Kavanaugh
to the Supreme Court. She was
testifying about a sexual assault
against her, yet she was the one
apologizing.
More recently, Rep. Rashida
Tlaib was cornered into an apol-
ogy after accusing Rep. Mark
Meadows of tokenizing a black
staffer by calling her out to stand
next to him, as though this meant
Republicans weren’t racist. Tlaib
was right, but she was the one ex-
pected to apologize.
The role of “appeaser” has al-
ways been imposed upon us, espe-
cially women of color who navi-
gate a society stacked against both
our race and our gender. God help
us if we break this unspoken pro-
tocol; we’re often punished for it.
Remember Serena Williams in
the 2018 U.S. Open?
Serena was penalized, fined,
and attacked in the media for
“inappropriate behavior” after ar-
guing with an umpire during the
match (behavior longtime tennis
fans considered quite mild when
compared to hotheaded male play-
ers like John McEnroe).
But more egregious than these
male displays, apparently, was
that this talented black woman de-
manded an apology from the um-
pire for unfair treatment. (What’s
more, Serena’s opponent, Naomi
Osaka, apologized herself after the
match — “I am so sorry it ended
like this,” she said. She couldn’t
even celebrate her victory.)
It was a classic example of how
women are expected to carry emo-
tional weight. I say no more.
For Women’s History Month,
stop making us apologize. We are
not here to appease. Our contribu-
tions to society prove our equal
standing in society. We will no
longer apologize for demanding
equal liberties — it’s 2019, and
we’re not sorry.
Tracey L. Rogers is an en-
trepreneur and activist living in
Northern Virginia. Distributed by
OtherWords.org.
Green New Deal Movement Matters to Us
s amantha m
a ngeliCa P erkins
Outside of Sen. Diane Fein-
stein’s office in San Francisco
on Feb. 22, youth leaders from
Sunrise Bay Area, Youth Vs.
by
and
Apocalypse and Earth Guard-
ians Bay Area Crew gathered
together for a rally in an attempt
to persuade Feinstein to vote yes
on the Green New Deal.
We attended the rally to show
support and help in whatever
ways we could as this movement
is one that matters to us and our
future -- we hadn’t planned to
talk with Feinstein directly. In
spite of this, when the opportu-
nity presented itself YVA and
Earth Guardians accepted glad-
ly and were more than excited
when we learned that we would
actually be allowed into her of-
fice to speak to her personally.
For us at least, this excitement
turned quickly into fear as our
peers and Sen. Feinstein began
to converse.
This fear was not because we
felt that we were being “taught
a lesson” or “told off.” It was
because we could see ourselves
talking to our future grandchil-
dren about what breathable air
used to be like. We could see
workers in impoverished com-
munities whose children’s lives
depended on risking their own.
We were afraid because, at that
moment, we could see the world
around us shrinking - becoming
something small and unimport-
ant, and with it so did we.
However, we only felt this
way. As we sit here and write this
piece, we know that we are not
small and we are definitely not
unimportant. Our words speak
for all youth, as we demand a fu-
ture. And that future will only be
possible through the Green New
Deal.
In advocating for the Green
New Deal, we are also advocat-
ing for the future of our Earth
and all of its inhabitants. A
promised future. The future we
deserve. Because the adults that
decide our future, got theirs, so
who are they to cancel ours?
We are not fighting for the
Green New Deal because we are
brainwashed youth or because
we are being manipulated and
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used for political gain. We fight
for the Green New Deal because
we are in charge of our future,
and know exactly what it means.
It lies in our hands, only ours.
It is our future, whether or not
elected officials like that and the
only way to protect what belongs
to us is through bold and trans-
formative action.
We cannot separate ourselves
from all the animals, plants and
all other life because we are all
interconnected. We are all af-
fected by the destructive after-
math of climate change.
Just because we are human, it
does not negate the fact that we
are also in danger because of our
actions. We are in also in dan-
ger from inequality and lack of
economic opportunity. We can’t
leave behind anyone.
That is why we believe in the
Green New Deal, and we know
what the Green New Deal is. We
have read it and we understand
it because we know exactly what
we have to do to secure our fu-
ture. Youth have a right to be in
this conversation because in the
long run, this is more than a de-
bate. It is our life and future.
Samantha, 12, and Angelica,
17, write for PeaceVoice, are
Oakland students and members
of the youth-led climate justice
group, Youth Vs. Apocalypse.