March 6, 2019 Page 13 O PINION MCS Still in Business Martin Cleaning Service Carpet & Upholstery Cleaning Residential & Commercial Services Minimum Service CHG. $50.00 A small distance/travel charge may be applied CARPET CLEANING 2 Cleaning Areas or more $30.00 each Area Pre-Spray Traffic Areas (Includes: 1 small Hallway) 1 Cleaning Area (only) $50.00 Includes Pre-Spray Traffic Area and Hallway America’s Worst Nightmare since Watergate A president spouting false claims t om h. h astings Our national em- barrassment. Our national emergency. There he is, residing for a minute in the White House, a minute that is the longest lucid American nightmare since Watergate. The day is not complete until Trump has lied to the American people and the world, until he’s insulted any and all critics even when those critiques are deliber- ative and strictly evidence-based, and even when they are people nearly universally respected, even revered. Ruth Bader Ginsberg? Justin Trudeau? Really? Toss in some misogynist identity slurs, sever- al braggart malignant narcissis- tic self-congratulating ridiculous claims—even managing to com- bine them with insulting Samuel L. Jackson—and a few gaslighting redundancies and there isn’t much left on the Trump list of abusive things to do today. Brilliant. A waddling, braying, tweeting embarrassment to any by and all critical thinking, fact-reli- ant Americans. My colleague and I do work- shops, sometimes for visiting for- eign professionals. Almost no matter their country or coun- tries of origin, I lead with a sincere apology for the Dear Leader who lost the popular vote but still managed to get installed in the most powerful office on Earth. American white man. It gets us off on the right foot. Now comes journalists from some dozen countries, mostly Eu- ropean but a few from the Middle East and one from Asia. None of us have ever met each other. I open with an apology for slights, for insults, for mortifying misstatements and unwarranted UN laughingstock braggadocio emanating from the old white guy Last week we saw a grifter lawyer, Michael Cohen, turn state’s evidence against his former boss—and even though Cohen, as Trump’s lawyer, was a serial liar, he presented Congress with actual forensic evidence that Trump committed felonies, not just in the past, but while in office. Shades of Spiro Agnew. Here comes a roomful of Ken- yan National Police. I apologize for obvious reasons. Most Ameri- cans have likely forgotten Trump’s repugnant comment about African “sh—hole” countries. I assure you that Kenyans and other Africans absolutely have not. They appre- ciate a genuine apology from an who just seems verbally inconti- nent and whose thumbs seem to have zero impulse control, man- aging to praise dictators and vili- fy popular democratic leaders as a matter of course—not to men- tion his incessant juvenilia about all manner of journalists, from the Wall Street Journal to Katie Couric, for goshsakes. Last week we saw a grift- er lawyer, Michael Cohen, turn state’s evidence against his former boss—and even though Cohen, as Trump’s lawyer, was a serial liar, he presented Congress with actu- al forensic evidence that Trump committed felonies, not just in the past, but while in office. Shades of Spiro Agnew. My father was a psychologist, not I, but clearly, Trump’s claims of fake news are what psychol- ogists call projection. I attest to my own profound confusion at his clumsy hate speech and utter cultural incompetence and frank- ly, negotiating fails despite his blowhard boasts and his fake au- tobiography—his next memoir: How to Be a Rotten Role Model for American Youth and the Great Big Butt of International Jokes. My wincing and shaking head let them know that I’m fully as con- founded as I am certain they are. This is what it means to be an American dealing with a fake president spouting cringeworthy claims even as we try to create de- cent relationships with bewildered people from other lands. Tom H. Hastings is from Port- land. He is director of PeaceVoice and on occasion an expert witness for the defense in court. Stairs (12-16 stairs - With Other Services) : $30.00 Heavily Soiled Area: $10.00 each area (Requiring Pre-Spray) Area/Oriental Rug Cleaning Regular Area Rugs $25.00 Minimum Wool Oriental Rugs $40.00 Minimum UPHOLSTERY CLEANING Sofa: $70.00 Loveseat: $50.00 Sectional: $110 - $140 Chair or Recliner: $25.00 - $50.00 Throw Pillows (With Other Services) : $5.00 ADDITIONAL SERVICES • Auto/Boat/RV Cleaning • Deodorizing & Pet Odor Treatment • Spot & Stain Removal Service • Scotchguard Protection • Minor Water Damage Services Call for Appointment (503) 281-3949