®*!* ^lortlanò (Observer
November 5, 2014
Page
Opinion articles do not necessarily represent the views o f the
Portland Observer. W? welcome reader essays, photos and
story ideas. Submit to news@portlandobserver.com.
Race Matters: The Narrative Continues
Viewing the world
differently
by the
de
R ev . B entley
B ardelaben
More than two months
have passed since the
shooting of unarmed teen
M ic h a e l
B ro w n
in
Ferguson, Mo., and no indictment has
been issued against Officer Darren W il
son despite testimony before a grand
jury. During this period there has been
elevated talk of race matters populating
all media platforms.
For some, the volatile subject of race
and racism has become nothing more
than white noise to be ignored. For oth
ers, it may finally be the opening needed
to achieve a deeper understanding of the
sociological, economical pathology which
underlie the issue.
W hile for many there is a palpable
sense o f déjà vu - it ju st feels like another
day in North America where the media
exploits a hot button issue, peddling fear
to sell papers, catch eyeballs, and/or
im prove ratings. R egardless of
where one falls it is abundantly clear
that a healthy discussion on race
matters is much needed. But who
can lead this national conversation?
How can we begin?
Recently PB S’ Point of View
series televised a provocative series titled,
“The Whiteness Project: Inside the White
Caucasian Box.” It offers rare, bold,
brave, and insightful perspectives.
A ccording to their w ebsite, “The
W hiteness Project is a multiplatform in
vestigation into how Americans who
identify as “w hite” experience their
ethnicity.” While my experiences, teach
ings, and cultural lenses are radically
different to those persons featured, this
program is worthy of viewing by all.
In one of many snippets shown, a male
doctor discusses his views. He asserts
that “color means absolutely nothing” to
him, all people are “human beings”, and
“discrimination is nonsense because we
are all equal.” In a word, he declares
him self to be “colorblind.” Each seg
ment ends with a statistic. The one fol
lowing the aforementioned doctor’s seg
ment reads, “73 percent of whites be
lieve blacks should receive ‘no special
favors’ to overcome inequality.”
In another segment, a woman who
labels herself as “friendly” discusses
“black men in general.” She shares that
we are “very beautiful people.” How
ever, it is clear her experiences have
trained her to fear African American
men. She further states that her “smile is
not an invitation to follow [her] home.”
The stat following her piece declares,
“More that 40 percent of white Ameri
cans say ‘m any’ or ‘almost all’ black
men are violent.”
There are several vignettes shared
and each provides a hearty starting point
fo r a c o n v e rs a tio n on ra c e . T he
takeaways range from “I have never
come across anything that made me
aware of my race” to “I don’t get the
‘white person’ treatment” to “because
slavery happened, does that mean we
owe black people something?”
This documentary clearly underscores
the reality that people of color and whites
view the world through vastly different
lenses.
The United Church of Christ devel
oped a “Sacred Conversation on Race”
tool kit to help further the dialogue in our
congregations. While the first step is
often the hardest, the learning gleaned
could greatly advance the debate (and
perhaps even our society). At least, that
is my hope.
For additional information visit: ucc.org/
sa c re d -c o n v e rs a tio n
and
whitenessproject.org/checkbox.
The Rev. Bentley de Bardelaben is
executive fo r administration and com
munications fo r the United Church o f
Christ’s Justice and Witness Minis-
tries.
Loving My Late Brother and His Flaws
Understanding
the human
experience
by
J ill R ichardson
M y brother would
have turned 29 the other
day. Thus begins the
season o f difficult anni
versaries.
Six years ago, my baby bro
turned 23. It was 2008, a week
before B arack O bam a’s first
presidential election. Hope and
change were in the air. I had a
new job and a new car, and life
was good.
Then, just a few weeks later,
all the hope died. But boy, did I
get some change.
Through a misunderstanding,
a distant cousin gave me the
news. It felt like an eternity as
the words came out of his mouth.
“I have bad news,” he said. “It’s
your family.”
“Not my brother,” I thought.
“It’s your brother.”
“Not dead,” I thought.
“He died.”
And that was it. No explana
tion why, nothing. I called my
mother and got little more infor
mation. She couldn’t reach him
for several days and finally they
sent the landlord to check on him
and, w ell...h e’d al
read y b een d ead
several days. That
was all they knew.
I found out the
cause of death years
later — something
th a t re s p e c ta b le
people in the upper-
m iddle class suburb w here I
grow up “just don’t do.” So we
don’t talk about it.
My little brother Adam was
my best friend in the world. He
was my only sibling. W hile we
were different in so many ways,
in other ways we were like one
soul in two bodies.
My brother was no saint. He
had a heart of gold, but in the
years before his death he suf
fered failures and disappoint
ment. At age 22, he told the
family that he suffered from
anxiety and he sought treatment
for it. But two decades o f anxi
ety aren’t cured quickly.
Most o f his difficulties in life
probably stemmed from his se
vere anxiety, but nobody real
ized that until the end. And in
America, when you fail, it’s your
fault. Bad grades? Work harder.
Too fat? Eat less and work out,
you lazy bum.
A dam was the sm artest per
son I ever knew . He had no
plausible deniability that any
bad grades w ere because o f a
lack o f intelligence. This kid
sat hom e and read Faulkner
and Shakespeare for fun dur
ing high school. W ho does that?
So the label that stuck on my
brother — at least in his own
m ind — was lazy.
I’m not blaming my family
here. These are messages our
culture sends us and we inter
nalize them. One generation
passes them on to the next. We
mistake our grades and our sala
ries for our self worth instead of
measuring our lives in joy and
love.
After Adam died, I sat at the
com puter writing his eulogy. I
process my thoughts by writing,
and only by writing could I begin
to thaw my numb emotions. I
didn’t even know what I was
feeling until I saw the words I
had written on the page:
“If you ’ ve been close to Adam
these past few years, you know
th a t life d e a lt him a few
curveballs. He struggled at times,
but he was a fighter. It chal
lenged each of us to try and help
him move ahead while simulta
neously accepting his limitations
and helping him accept them
too.
I am sorry for all of the an
guish these problems caused him,
but I want to say this: I would not
wish away A dam ’s shortcom
ings. They made him who he
was, and that is the brother I
love.
Please, in honor of Adam,
love the important people in your
life not in spite of their flaws but
because of them. Shame is toxic.
Empathy and love are the cure.
Our flaws cause us pain, but
they also make us who we are.
By overcoming them, we grow
stronger and deepen our under
standing of the human experi
ence.
OtherWords columnist Jill
Richardson is the author o f
Recipe fo r America: Why Our
Food System Is Broken and
What We Can Do to Fix It.
"Your Budget is our mission"
BUDGET INSURANCE
E N T E R P R IS E S . L L C
AUTO
HOME
DURAN BEASLEY
At Budget we work with many insurance
companies to find the best fit for your
needs and to fit your Budget.
Call today for a free quote!
LIFE
BUSINESS
HEALTH
503 515 4377
Fax 503 610 7011 Office 503 254 7188
1710 NE 82nd Ave Portland, OR 97220
Independent agents serving Oregon & Washington