March 17, 2010 'ri'1' jJorilanb (Dbsemer Birth Experiences Survey If y ou're a black wom an who gave birth in Oregon in the last five years, the Interna­ tional Center for Traditional Childbearing wants to hear your birth story. Do you think your medical care during your pregnancy, birth or post-partum expe­ rience could have been im proved? The ICTC is an A frican-A m erican led organization that wants to collect local birth stories to im prove pregnancy and birth ex­ periences for wom en. The nonprofit group is dedicated to infant m ortality prevention, breastfeeding prom otion, m idw ifery and doula training. The survey can be taken online by visiting ictcm idw ives.org or you can set up an appointm ent to take a 10 m inute survey with an ICTC staff m em ber by phone at 503- 460-9324. Dear Tamyra: Families stick together no matter what and in your case, you have to be the glue. You may not see it, but your mother is doing the best she can with what she has. All you can do is hang in there, help the best you can and push yourself harder to become better and achieve. You should work out a schedule with your mother, college and the kids and be sure to rest and stay fo­ cused. You will get your reward in the end after you’ve done the right thing. Dear Deanna! I want more out of my current rela­ tionship but I think my past is caus­ ing negativity between us. I have been known to have more than one boyfriend and play the field but I’ve changed. I’m ready to settle down but my past seems to haunt me on a regular basis. My boyfriend tells me he would commit but he’s afraid he can’t trust me. What can I do to prove that I’ve changed and can be trusted? -A nonym ous; Charlotte, N.C. A sk Ê> \ Real People, Real A n advice colum n know n fo r its fearless approach to reality based subjects! giving you a dose of reality that you can’t seem to swallow right now. You’ve shown your boyfriend quite a few things when you thought he and others were not looking. The only thing you can do is stay on the straight and narrow path in your relationship, meet his expectations and demonstrate to him that you’re on his team seeking longevity and a future. Dear Deanna! My cousin has betrayed me by get­ ting with my ex-boyfriend. We had a break-up but I felt there always hope to get back together. I’m hav­ ing a hard time because of the family issue and now they’re having a baby together. I’m trying to control my­ self and keep it together because he was seeing her when he was with me. I was doing fine and moving on until he called wanting to have a fling. I’m tom between seeing him and telling my cousin. What do I do? -M iserable But Holding On; Denver Dear Anonymous: Dear Miserable: People believe that once you’re a If you think things are bad now, go cheat, you will always be a cheat, ahead and get with him and you’ll Your lack of care for your morals is have a living nightmare on your Advertise with diversity in The Portland Observer Call 5O3-288-OO33 ads@portlandobserver.com Hodge Comprehensive Counseling Service Dr. H. L. Hodge, Ph.D. Life Change Specialist, Licensed Pastoral Counselor, Professional Trainer. Dr. Hodge has 20 years addressing Life Stressors KH Dear Deanna! I have been designated as the babysitter and caregiver for my younger brothers and sisters. My mother started having kids again afterltum ed 13. Now I’m in college and I can’t get my homework com­ pleted, I stay tired all the time. I try to talk to my mother but she is al­ ways fussing about her boyfriends, my siblings’ fathers and money. I don't want to quit college or ruin my relationship but it looks as if that’s where things are heading. What can 1 do? -T am yra Jackson; On-Line Reader Page 9 hands. Whether he’s with your cousin, a friend or a stranger, you • had your chance, it didn’t work out and now he’s onto someone else. You have enough time to hold on to your sanity and find a relationship that's good for you. Hold your head high and let the past be the past and although your cousin has him, realize that he’s cheating on her but it’s not with you. Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M. Write Ask Deanna! at the email askdeanna 1 @yahoo, com or 264 S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite 1283 Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Website: www. askdeanna. com Healing from past hurts, adapting to new circum­ stances or recovering from a crisis; a Faith- Based counselor will be life changing Hodge Comprehensive Counsel­ ing provides. 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