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January 13. 2010
sp ecia l edition
Real People,
Real Advice
An advice
column known
fo r reality
based subjects!
Dear Deanna!
My mother stayed friends with my
wife after our divorce. My ex-wife
cheated on me, placed me in debt
and wrecked another m an’s family.
My mother is still holding on to her
because my wife was the daughter
BANK t SS e WEST
Remember
Celebrate
Persevere
Bank of the West is proud
to honor the legacy of
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
she never had. I have no use for this Dear Confused:
woman and wish my mother would If y o u ’re in this turm oil, you
do the same. We are arguing more shouldn’t want your preacher or
and more and the family is starting any other man that makes you trip
to divide. How do I make my mother like this. Look close and y o u ’ll
understand that she needs to let go realize that he hasn’t selected the
and move on? -Stressed Out; Pitts­ other women for a reason. Make it
burgh, Penn.
easy on yourself by being a real
woman and step to him with an
Dear Stressed Out:
open mind, honesty and good in­
A divorce is like death and there
tentions. If h e ’s available and in­
must be a grieving period before
terested, h e ’ll let you know. If not,
m oving on. Your mother had an
continue to keep your faith a pri­
em otional attachm ent and family
ority and keep it moving.
bond with your wife. It’s true that
spouses d o n ’t marry the family Dear Deanna!
but yourcase is an exception. Your I left a relationship twice and each
m other has forgiven her for the time I went back. After each sepa­
pain and you should talk to your ration my boyfriend prom ised he
m other and seek healing. If your would change by not drinking,
m other is happy and no harm or not chasing women and would
disrespect is com ing your way, help around the house. It took a
leave it alone and let things run its month or so before he went back
course.
to his old ways. I feel the third time
would really be different because
Dear Deanna!
h e's crying, offering to get saved
I'm embarrassed because like other
and begging really hard. What
women in my church, I have a crush
ground rules should I give him if
on our single pastor. They see that
I go down this road again? -
he's saved and anointed and want
M ichelle; Jackson, Miss.
him for their husband. He’s out of
my league and I embarrassed myself Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M.
trying to talk to him. 1 won’t sit in Write Ask Deanna! at the email
front of the church or go to the altar. askdeannal@yahoo.com or 264 S.
This is wrong because of my de­ LaCienega Blvd. Suite 1283 Beverly
sires. My faith is more important H ills, CA 90211. W ebsite:
than a relationship but this is mak­ vcwvr. qskdeanna. com
ing me go off the deep end. -
Confused; On-Line Column Reader
Oregon Leader
continued
from page 26
more equitable society Martin
Luther King Jr. had envisioned.
Mark Hatfield, a former gov­
ernor and the longest-serving
senator in the state’s history,
helped overwrite the discrimina­
tory laws while serving as a
rookie legislator.
Hatfield found himself having
to drive black musicians to Port­
land after performing in Salem,
which he found to be deeply
unfair.
Since 1919, Oregon legisla­
tors had been trying to pass a
law that would outlaw discrimi­
nation against blacks in public
settings. When Hatfield was re-
Mark Hatfield, a former governor
and the longest-serving senator in the
state's history, helped overwrite the
discriminatory laws while serving as
a rookie legislator.
www.bankofthewest.com
© 2009 Bank of the West. Member FDIC.
According to his autobiogra­
phy, “Against the Grain: Reflec­
tions of a Rebel Republican,”
H atfield’s interest in the issue
came from when he was still at
student at Willamette University
in Salem.
He served on a committee
that brought traveling musical
acts to the culturally-barren Sa­
lem. There were only two hotels
in the small city at the time, and
both maintained “No Coloreds”
policies.
elected to his seat in the Oregon
H ouse of R epresentatives in
1952, he made the issue a prior­
ity.
At the time Hatfield was un­
sure that the bill would be passed,
but after aggressively lobbying
both opponents and legislators
sitting on the fence, he got the
landmark bill approved.
“Anyone could get a room in
any Oregon hotel now, and I
knew justice had been served,”
he wrote in his autobiography.