Page A9 March II. 2009 Dear Deanna! My boyfriend will not tell me that he loves me. 1 have been with him for three years and he always tells me that his pres­ ence should answer the ques­ tion. He has verbally said he loves me about five times. W e’ve had our problems with cheating and break-ups but w e’re still together. I want to head in the direction of com­ mitment but 1 need to address his feelings first. How do I find out his true feelings for me? — Adrienne; Columbia, S.C. Dear Adrienne: The things your boyfriend isn't sayin g speak the lo u d est. You’ve allowed this behavior in the relationship and at this point, there’s a small chance he’ll change. You have rights in this relationship and deserve to know his feelings and inten­ tions. You need to be direct and tell him how you feel, what you want and your expectations on love and marriage. Be pre­ pared if you don’t get the an­ swers you seek and you have to decide to stay or keep it mov­ ing. Real People, Real t« advice cal a inn known fa r its fearless approach lo reality based subjects! anything other than move on, be glad that you got out early and pray for the new lady who will be his next sucker. Dear Deanna! I have a platonic relationship with a male friend of four years but my fiancé doesn’t like it. He has begun making hints that I’ve slept with my friend and accusing me of lying to him. I’ve only known my fiancé for two years and if 1 had to choose between the two men, 1 would choose my friend. How can 1 convince my fiancé that w e’re only friends and that nothing is going on? This is becoming stressful because I love both men and want them in my life. Help? —Sharon; San Antonio. Texas Dear Deanna! 1 met a guy that 1 thought was really interested in me. I helped him get employment at my com­ pany, helped with his bills and paid child support for him. As soon as things started looking up for him, our relationship Dear Sharon: changed. Things hit the fan Your future husband is jealous when he got a promotion and of your relationship with your moved into another department. male friend. It’s your responsi­ He is now telling me that he’s bility to find balance as you focused on improving his life seek to have both relationships. instead of dating me. I heard Invite your husband to be part that he’s dating someone else in of the friendship so he can un­ the company. What do I do? - derstand and be more open -Crying and Miserable; On- minded. Also be mindful of Line Reader your platonic friendship to make sure you're not giving your Dear Miserable: fiancé reasons to complain. If You set yourself up by confus­ things don’t improve after the ing help with being used and air is clear, you fiancé has is­ also giving up your money. You sues you certainly need to ex­ never should mix business with plore pleasure because it’s a guaran­ teed recipe for pain. He used Ask Deanna is written by Deanna you to get ahead and you can M. Write Ask Deanna! at the see early on that he’s leaving email askdeannal@yahoo.com you behind. If you heard that or 264 S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite he’s dating someone on the job, 1283 Beverly Hills, CA 90211. it’s probably true. Y oucan’tdo Website: www.askdeanna.com “You ’re a great guy... but when y o u ’re playing, y o u ’re different. And it sure doesn’t seem like fun. ” Need help with a gambling problem, or know someone who does? 1-877-MY LIMIT 1877MYLIMIT.org Sponsored by the Oregon Lottery* Treatment is free, confidential and it works. The Joyce Washington Memorial Scholarship Fund (1937-1996) Publisher of The Portland Observer The Portland Observer, 4747 N.E. Martin Luther King Blvd 503-288-0033 or email markw@portlandobserver.com I