July 16. 2008 Page A2 Dear Deanna! 1 met a guy that I thought was really interested in me. I helped him get employment at my company. helped w ith his hills and paidehild support fo r him. As soon as things started looking up fo r him , our relationship changed. T hings h it the fan when he got a prom otion and moved into another department. He is now te llin g me that he’ s focused on im ­ proving his life instead o f dating me. I heard that he's dating some­ one else in the company. What do I do? —Crying and Miserable: On- l.ine Reader Dear Miserable: You set yourself up by confusing help w ith being used and also g iv ­ ing up your money. You never should m ix business w ith pleasure because it's a guaranteed recipe for pain. He used you to get ahead and you can see early on that he’ s leav­ ing you behind. I f you heard that he’ s dating someone on the jo b , it ’ s probably true. You can’ t do any­ thing other than move on. be glad that you got out early and pray fo r the new lady who w ill be his next sucker. Dear Deanna! M y nephew has left fo r college and has completely lost his mind. When he lived at home he was quiet, m ild mannered and w ell behaved. I hardly know him now that he’ s away from home. He's still underage but he drinks, has tattoos and has be­ come loud and rude. M y sister sim ply turns her head and says he’ s an adult and I should mind my business. Is this normal when kids go o ff to college o r should I inter­ vene and get him back on track? - -Loving Aunt; San Bernardino, CA Dear Loving Aunt: You may be messing in business that doesn’ t belong to you. Y o u r nephew is an adult and his par­ ents d o n 't have any issues w ith h is life s ty le and m aybe you should do the same. I f he’ s s till in co lle g e , g e ttin g good grades and staying out o f trouble, then Ask Deannal Real People, Real Advice An advice column known fo r reality based subjects! he’ s fin e . You ca n ’ t im pose your expectations on h im but you can ca u tio n him about the d rin k in g and any m oral issues. In other w ords, accept his new found adult hood and be there w ith gentle guidance. Dear Deanna! I have a platonic relationship w ith a male friend o f four years but my fiance doesn't like it. He has begun m aking hints that I ’ ve slept w ith my friend and accusing me o f lyin g to him. l ’ veonly known my fiancé for tw o years and i f I had to choose between the tw o men, I w ould choose my friend. H ow can I con­ vince my fiance that w e’ re only friends and that nothing is going on? This is becoming stressful because I love both men and want them in my life. Help? --Sharon: San Antonio. TX Dear Sharon: Y our future husband is jealous o f your relationship w ith your male friend. It's your responsibility to find balance as you seek to have both relationships. Invite your husband to be part o f the friend­ ship so he cun understand and be more open minded. A lso be m in d ­ ful o f your platonic friendship to make sure you're not g iving your fiancé reasons tocom plain. I f things don’ t im prove after the air is clear, you fiancé has issues you certainly need to explore. Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M. Write Ask Deanna! Email: askdeanna I @ yahoo.com or 264 S. LaCienega Bird. Suite 1283 Beverly Hills. CA 90211. Website: www.askdeanna.eotn Lodge to receive face-lift continued from Front in d iv id u a ls to co ve r a d d ition a l expenses. Because the E lks Lodge is a n o n p ro fit o rg a n iza ­ tio n , plans w ill include a d o nor w a ll at the entrance o f the Lodge that w ill lis t the names o f those w h o co n trib u te d to the project. N A M C O ’ s goal is to have the outside o f the b u ild in g and a p o rtio n o f the inside fin ish e d by a k ic k -o ff celebration planned fo r "T h e G a th e rin g " in late August. Once completed, the public can expect a com pletely new re vi­ talized Elks Lodge and a chance to partake in a variety o f business and com m unity activities. To remem­ ber the project, the membership plans to create a picture collage that w ill reflect the history o f the organization. F or m ore in fo rm a tio n on how to get in v o lv e d o r donate to the E lks Lodge p ro je ct, contact one o f the project partners above, stop by the elks lodge and ta lk w ith Jennifer Dishm an o rc a ll 503 284-4853. P ictu re d le ft to rig h t: Larry C o llin s from P.O.P.A., P a sto r M a ry O ve rstre e t a n d P a s to r D w ight M in n ie w e a th e r. P eople o f P urpose A ssociates(P .O .P .A ) c e le b ra te th e 3 rd a n n u a l R e -tillin g th e S o il e vent. The e v e n t to o k p la ce S a tu rd a y Ju ly 1 2 , 2 0 0 8 clean-up lo c a tio n s w ere M a p le M a llo ry A p a rtm e n ts, J e ffe rso n High S ch o o l a n d C o n n e rsto n e C o m m u n ity Church. Follow ing th e clean-up was a c e le b ra tio n a t Irving Park w here C ool B reeze a n d The L ig h t pe rfo rm e d . OHSU HIV Prevention Awareness Basketball Tournament Huge Success Teams from around Portland com peted at the firs t annual O H SU H IV Awareness 3-on-3 Basketball tournament at the Blaz­ ers Boys and G irls C lub on June 21st. The purpose o f the tourna­ ment was to raise awareness fo r H IV prevention. The Oregon Health & Science U niversity H IV Program hosted the event at the Blazers Boys and G irls Club, w ith prizes donated by N ike and Helensview School. In aday o f fierce com petition, M ike W illis ’ s Team (M ik e W illis , Cameron Guyton and Dion Camel) won firs t prize o f authentic N IK E USA Basketball Olym picjerseys, and R u ff Riders (Nate Lavinier. Shawn K e lly and Edward R a tliff) look second prize o f N IK E USA Basketball O lym pic shixiting ja ck­ ets. A ll 1st. 2nd and 3rd place The Oregon H ealth & Science University HIV Program h o s te d the event a t the Blazers Boys and Girls Club. team s a I so rece i ved a g i ft cert i ficate for$50 to N ike from Helensview School. "T he 3 on 3 basketball tourna­ ment sponsored by OHSU and the Blazer’ s Boys and G irls C lub was a fun and effective way to bring the message o f H IV /A ID S education to our youth and young adults,” said K ris Persson, the Principal o f Helensview School. “ The event drew volunteers and spectators from throughout the com m unity. By com bining basketball w ith HI V / A ID S awareness the organizers were able to provide a fun and e xcit­ ing event w hile educating members o f the com m unity. The organizers from O H SU and the Blazer’ s Boys & G irls C lub are to be commended for donating their time, talent and e ffo rt to this event. There is a need fo r more events like this in our com ­ m unity.” The event drew volunteers and spectators fro m throughout the com m unity and resulted in over $600 in equipment donations to the Blazers G irls and Boys Club. "T h is was an excellent com m u­ p NEW S E A S O N S .... nity event. We w ould love to see more o f these," was commented by a com m unity participant during the event post-evaluation. Given the high level o f com m u­ n ity participation and team turn­ out, O H SU plans to continue the tournament next year. “ This was one o f the most w orth­ w h ile events w e’ ve sponsored,” said Todd Korthuis, M .D . - o f the OHSU H IV Program. “ It’ s fun to see ourcom m unity com ing together for a great tim e and also raising aware­ ness fo r H IV prevention." Subscribe I 503-288-0033' Fill Out & Send To: j -J ^ Jlortlan b (Rbsrruer M A R K E T [ Attn: Subscriptions, PO Box 3137, Portland OR 97208 | s u b s c r ip tio n s are j u s t $60 p e r y e a r NOW D E L IV E R IN G (please include cheek with this subscription form) I J ________ _____J ___ j Y o u r fa v o r ite n e ig h b o r h o o d g r o c e r y s to r e n o w d e liv e r s N ame : T elephone : ________ A ddress : g r o c e r ie s r ig h t to y o u r h o m e o r o ffic e . ___________________ :----------------------------------- 1 or email subscriptions@portlandobserver.com I la ^ ’‘T portlatxh (Observer Esfat>//s/7ed 1970 USPS 959-680 _________________________________ 4747 NE Martin Luther King. Jr. Blvd.. Portland. OR 97211 Charles H. Washington l-ni t o k : M ich a e I I. e ig h t o n D is t k o h i i o s M a s a i o k : M ark W a sh in g to n C k i a i i v i D i k h t o k : P aul N e u fe ld t A i h i k i i s i s o : K a th y L in d e r O i h i i M a s a o ik : Sh a ro n Sperry K h ’ i i k i i h : R a ym o n d R en d lem a n E d it h d - in -C h ic f , P u h i s h m : The Portland Observer welcomes freelance submissions Manuscripts and photographs should be clearly labeled and w ill be returned if accompanied by a self addressed envelope A ll created design display ads become the sole property o f the newspaper and cannot he used in other publications or personal usage without the w ritten consent o f the general manager, unless the client has purchased the composition o f such ad f ) 2(M>X I III- P O R TLA N D OBSERVER A l l RIGHTS R l SERVED Rl P R O D IC T IO N IN W H O LE OR IN PART WTTHOI 'T PI RM ISSIO N IS P R O H IB ITE D The Portland Observer Oregon s Oldest M u lticu ltural Publication is a member of the National Newspaper Association f ounded in IM S . and The National Advertising Representative Amalgamated Publishers. Inc. New York. N Y . and The West Coast Black Publishers Association. P ostmaster : Send address changes to Portland Observer, PO B o x 3 1 3 7 , Portland, 0 R 9 7 2 0 8 w w w .n e w s e a s o n s m a r k e t.c o m you click, we deliver, (or pull up for pick up) I >|f n a CALL 503-288-0033 FAX 503-288-0015 ponlandobserver.com ml.'i ij jg/rllandcbitn t r . 0)111 iiibsvriptian^iyjrtlandvbsencr.Lim