May 14. 2008
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Ask ö
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Real People, Real Advice
An advice colum n known f o r
its fea rless approach Io reality
based subjects!
Dear Deanna!
I'm in love with a m arried man I’ve
known for several years. I know
that he and I would be together, but
he got som eone pregnant and had
to marry her. He stays in his m ar­
riage because ot the child, but it s
getting hard for him to not com m it
adultery with me. W e’ve had dates
here and there, but we haven't
crossed the line. I'm at the point of
no return and if we becom e inti­
mate, he’II leave his marriage. Should
I feel bad if this happens? Legal
Mistress; Raleigh. N.C.
Dear Mistress:
Did you enjoy the trip when you fell
and hit your head? He is with the
woman he wanted, and it isn't you.
He is a real man and did the right
thing by giving his child a family
and a home that doesn’t include
hom ew reckers like yourself. H e’s
ju st as wrong as you, but if you
really care about him, stop being a
tem ptation trying to claim forbid­
den fruit. H e's not leaving his wife,
and you need to stop the m adness
before som eone gets hurt and keep
it moving.
an issue w ith either one o f them and
I think th e y 're being unfair. How
do I choose w ho I w ant to be
friends with because I c a n ’t be
f r ie n d s w ith b o th o f th e m ?
—Nicki: Buffalo, N. T.
Critical Moment for Voters
con tin u ed
y ear ago, Barack sp eak s to the
survival m ode o f us all as we
stru g g le in this e c o n o m y ," Hall
Dear Nicki:
Do yourself a favor and lose some
w eight by dropping b othofthem . If
they d o n 't value your friendship
enough to shield you from their
dram a and gam es, then they d o n 't
deserve your friendship. Y ou’re not
part o f the problem now, but if you
choose one over the other, you
becom e a target from the other one.
Before you m ake a decision, see if
you can help your friends resolve
their issues and if not, call it a three-
way split and keep it moving.
said.
L ast w eek, O b am a did not
rule out selecting C lin to n as a
vice presidential ru n n in g m ate
if he ultim ately w ins the race
ag ain st her.
A c c o rd in g to a C B S /N e w
Y o rk T im e s p o ll, a m a jo rity
o f b o th O b a m a an d C lin to n
v o te rs fa v o r th is s o - c a lle d
“ d re a m tic k e t" m a k in g a fo r­
m id a b le te am a g a in st R e p u b ­
lic a n J o h n M c C a in in th e
Dear Deanna!
I walked away from a long marriage,
a new hom e and a family because I
w asn't happy. My husband and
kids took me for granted and walked
over me. I did all I thought was
necessary such as counseling, hir­
ing babysitters for the kids and
losing weight. No one in the family
has noticed o rcared about my pain,
or cries for help or attention. Now
that I’m gone, ignoring everybody,
they d o n ' I know what to do and are
begging me to com e home. What
u do? — Tom Wife: St. hniis, Mo.
N o v e m b e r e le c tio n .
C lin to n c a m p a ig n e rs h av e
v o w e d to c o n tin u e fig h tin g
fo r th e n o m in a tio n to the en d
if n e c e s sa ry . A se n se o f u r­
g e n c y d rew d o z e n s o f v o lu n ­
te e rs to w o rk p h o n e b a n k s at
h er sta te c a m p a ig n h e a d q u a r­
te rs in d o w n to w n P o rtla n d
th is w eek.
“ W e know O reg o n is a little
bit o f a lo n g -sh o t fo r us, but
every single vote is im portant,
every single state is part o f this
p ro c e ss and
s h o u ld b e
co u n ted ," says Ju lie E dw ards,
state C lin to n cam p aig n co m ­
m u n icatio n s director.
Dear Torn Wife:
Dear Deanna!
You need to have a m ajor discus­
sion with your husband who ap­
pears to be part o f the problem.
Your children d o n ’t have a choice
but to fall in line because they d o n ’t
pay any bills. Provide a list o f your
needs and wants and present them
to your husband so you can get on
the same page. If h e 's willing to
accom m odate the important things
on your list then you have a chance
o f restoring your marriage and re­
gaining personal balance and foot­
ing in the household.
I have two best friends that are
always talking about each other. I
listen to what they say, but I never
repeat anything that I hear. T h ey 're
going back and forth right now
harder than ever and I'm being
forced to choose sides. I don’t have
Ask Deanna is written by Deanna
M. Write Ask Deanna! Email:
askdeanna I (Fyahoo.com or 264
S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite ¡283
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Website:
www.askdeanna.com
fro m Front
photo by R aymond
C lin to n d ie h ard s h ope that a
m eeting o f D em o cratic N ational
C o n v e n tio n at th e en d o f th e
m onth will v alid ate the c a lc u la ­
tion o f d eleg a tes that inclu d es
F lo rid a an d M ic h ig a n , w h ic h
w ere e x c lu d e d from the co u n t
w hen the states m oved prim aries
to dates that w ere to o early for
party rules.
O th ers, in c lu d in g m any s u ­
p e r - d e le g a t e s w h o s u p p o r t
O b a m a , a rg u e th a t O b a m a ’s
m o m en tu m has pro d u ced an in­
su rm o u n tab le lead.
“ It’s not ju st political th eatre,"
says Hall, w h o ’s tak in g 10 hours
a w eek am id his already fu lltim e
sch ed u le to cam p aig n for O bam a.
"T h is guy is b rin g in g ev ery o n e
to g e th e r.”
Mental Health Services Continue
In a m ove to sta b ilize ser­
v ices to clien ts o f C ascad ia
B e h a v io r a l
H e a lth c a r e ,
M u ltnom ah C o u n ty B oard o f
C o u n ty C o m m issio n e rs and
state o ffic ia ls last w eek an ­
n o u n ced a plan that that will
allow the m ental h ealth system
to o p era te through June w hile
tran sitio n p lan s are fin alized .
“Our top people are working with
the state, local service providers
and C ascadia to develop a plan that
ensures vulnerable people are not
harmed and that serv ices continue,"
says M ultnom ah County C hairT ed
W heeler.
U nder the term s o f an intergov-
Advertise in 'rin ^InrHawh (Ohscriicr 5O3-288-OO33
• i
1
-
I
ernm ental agreem ent, the state is
providing M ultnom ah County $1
million tow ards a $2.5 million loan
the County will issue to Cascadia.
C ascadia operates in Clackam as,
L ane, M arion and W ashington
C ounties, as well as M ultnomah.
The D epartm ent o f County H u­
man S ervices’ Mental Health and
Addiction Services has activated
contingency transition plans, and
has d ep lo y ed th eir to p m ental
health m anagem ent team to ensure
continuity o f care.
Clients who have questions or
concerns may call the co u n ty ’s 24-
hour M ental Health Call C enter at
503-988-4X88.
Mayor Returns to Jefferson
Students bring up proposed cuts
u Communication broke down...
_
f
_
_
- - J_____ I
“If someone’s gambling is hurting
you, make the call."
M ayor Tom Potter stopped at em ployees.
Many students say the devel­
Jefferson H ighSchool M onday fol­
low ing up on a w eek long visit by opm ents d o n ’t am ount to enough
city officials last January, finding to tu rn a ro u n d th e tr o u b le s
proposed cuts in staffing and lead­ Jefferson faces in dropouts and
ership adjustm ents have students test scores. A group o f students
w ondering if the learning environ­ callin g th em selv es “C o n cern ed
D em os” posted thousands o f fliers
m ent will ever stabilize.
around
the neighborhood with a
Because of even smaller enroll­
laundry'
list o f com plaints.
ment figures, the Portland Public
P
rincipal
C y n th ia H arris re ­
Schools arc planning on cutting four
sponded
by
correcting
certain as­
staff positions at Jefferson next year.
sertions
and
pointing
to
w ays that
The city has set more than 10
the
adm
inistration
and
staff
have
projects into m otion to help the
been
w
orking
to
improve
the
qual­
north Portland school, including
u n ifo rm s an d in stru m e n ts fo r ity o f education at Jefferson.
Potter and Harris hope to co n ­
Jefferso n 's band, financial incen­
tives for school volunteers, free tinue brainstorm ing program s that
Tri Met passes for students and will make som e difference under
job-shadow opportunities with city tight budgets.
G ra d P a rty l ïi r n s U g ly
“It was so refreshing to be around
people who were experiencing the
same thing I was."
(API — Police arrested seven
people after a graduation party
turned rowdy in northeast Port­
land.
Sgt. Brian Schm autz, the police
spokesm an, says officers arrived
early Sunday to find people fight­
ing inside and outside the building.
W hen police tried to stop the event,
some partygoers becam e hostile
and threw bottles and beer cans at
officers.
S chm autz says officers used
pepper spray before arresting seven
“ There is h elp"
“It made me feel really good
and positive."
Problem Gambling Helpline
R endleman /T he P ortland O bserver
Northeast Portland residents William Miller and Anna Freidhoff volunteer at Hillary Clinton's Oregon
campaign headquarters in downtown Portland, 32 N. W. 5th.
1 877 MY LIMIT
Treatment is free, confidential and it works.
Friends and family of gamblers can help themselves and the ones they love by going to treatment.
Professional counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Log on to 1877MYLIMIT.org for more information or to chat with a counselor on line.
people betw een the ages o f 17 and
22. They were charged with riot,
attem pted assault, interfering with
a police officer, resisting arrest and
disorderly conduct.
O rganizers told police the party
was for new graduates o f W arner
Pacific College. They tried to pro­
vide security at the rented space,
but becam e overw helm ed when
people crash ed it through side
doors.
Schm autz says there were no
serious injuries.
Cl,r ^Jortlattb (Observer Established 1970
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