lattò (©bseruer lune 21. 2 00 6 Dear Deanna! In the middle of a bad divorce and I’m still intimate with my ex-hus- band. Although we didn'tget along, couldn't build a life or raise our lamily together, we were able to bond physically. The reason w e’re divorcing is due to outside affairs with other people, financial prob­ lems and marrying too soon. I want to move on with my life but for some reason, manage to keep this part of the relationship going. Am I wrong for doing this? — Worried Divor­ cee; Atlanta, Ga. Dear Worried: Sex is the fuel fora relationship and Ask Deanna'. Real People, Real Advice takes and if you must have a man, be a better judge of character and find one that will respect you more than your husband and keep it moving. Dear Deanna! not the glue. If you’re divorcing your husband, you need to immedi­ ately cut all physical ties. You’re short changing yourself by giving him your body because it’s obvi­ ous he didn’t respect you as a wife and won’t respect you as a homey lover friend. Learn from your mis­ My girlfriend is a woman with a cute face but sh e ’s voluptuous and doesn’t understand that all fash­ ions aren’t suitable for her. I love her and think she looks good in most things but not everything. It’s hard for me in public when people stare at her or snicker and make rude remarks. When I ad­ dress this issue we argue. Please give me some options because I'm tired of being embarrassed and my suggestions aren't working? - Matthew; Boston Dear Matthew: Your partner has a mental problem because she probably has a size 18 shape with a size 5 outlook. This is not cute and you need to offer Jenny Craig o ra shopping spree. If she still refuses then you need to llip the script and approach her weight issue from a health perspec­ tive and encourage her to lose weight. If not, just be there because her feelings will get hurt really good one day if she still insists on walk­ ing around looking like a sausage. Gaston Farewell Reception Set The Urban League of Portland Board of Directors and staff invite the Portland community to join them at a reception to wish their leader for the past three years farewell. Vanessa Gaston is leaving her position as the President and CEO of the Urban League of Portland to assume the position of Assistant Director of Social Services forClark County, Nevada in July. The reception will take placeTues- day, June 27 at the Cascade Campus of Portland Community College in Vanessa Gaston the atrium of the new Moriarty Arts -6:30p.m. Therewillberemarksand & Humanities Building. Theevent is a short program at 5:30 p.m. free and open to the publ ic from 4:30 During her term in Portland, Nurse Stands U pfor Children A north Portland ing the development nurse working to bring of the ONA plan for universal health care u n iv e rsa l health to children has been care for all children honored by the O r­ in Oregon. egon Nurses Associa­ “ M aggi puts tion. w ords into action K elly Maggi re ­ w hile conducting cently received the the health policy Honorary Political In­ planning that is nec­ volvement Award for essary for healthcare her participation and reform,” says Susan leadership in champi­ King, ONA execu­ oning health care re­ tive director. Kelly Maggi form. Her activities in­ Maggi is a regis- cluded testifying at the las, Oregon tered nurse providing care to adult legislative session and spearhead- medical-surgical patients. Gaston provided a focus to the League’s efforts to deliver quality services to the community and served as a strong advocate and public servant on educational is­ sues for youth, with particular at­ tention toeliminating the academic achievement gap. The Urban League of Portland helps empower African Americans and others to achieve equality in education, employment and eco­ nomic security through a combina­ tion of direct services, outreach and advocacy. For m ore inform ation, call Rachael Barry at 503-280-2626. co n tin u e d fr o m A 4 and resources. I especially want to work with black families, which are having a difficult time with adjusting to their new challenges. I want to help families break tra­ ditions of abuse, drug addiction. she’s not a rocket scientist and should see her kids are im itating art. In this case, the bad art o f explicit lyrics. W rite the lyrics to some o f her music and give it to her on a sheet o f paper. W hen she looks at this mess in black and w hite, perhaps s h e ’ll have a change o f heart and be more o f an adult when it com es to what she listens to around her children. Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M. Write Ask Deanna! Email: Dear Anonymous: askdeannal@yahoo.com or 264 Your sister is ignorant and using S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite 1283 bad judgm ent on this simple com ­ Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Website; m on se n se issu e. O b v io u sly The project included portable mul­ tim edia workshops, W eb-based downloadable tool kits, a magazine and an instructive board game. Hot Ovations helps executives, emerging leaders and ambitious companies gain confidence and take command in public speaking, media relations, interpersonal com­ munication and business writing. Services include speechwriting, PowerPoint presentation develop­ ment, individual and small-group coaching, custom workshops, pub­ lic seminars and keynote addresses. T he b u sin e ss is on lin p at www.hotovations.com. alcoholism, and complacency. I want someone; why not me? to challenge families to begin their I am the representative of a new own traditions of sobriety, activism, family tradition the others did not and education. I hope to be a social suit me. I finally have a say over change agent that will bring cultural the titles I wear. I call myself mother, competency to the social work field. strong black woman, first genera­ It is never too late to start new family tion college graduate, and non- traditions. They have to start with traditional college student. O re g o n D e p a r tm e n t o f T ra n s p o rta tio n ODOT: MORE CONSTRUCTION AND MORE OPPORTUNITIES Oregon will soon reach record levels of highway and bridge construction. In addition to projects already under way on numerous Oregon highways, the Oregon Department of Transportation is beginning an unprecedented level of construction on Interstate 5. Current construction has already helped boost Oregon's economy. At its peak, the bridge program is expected to sustain more than 5,000 jobs. To learn more, visit ODOT's web site at http://egov.oregon.gov/ODOT/ HWY/OTIA/brldge_delivery.shtml. Much of the work falls under ODOT's OTIA III State Bridge Delivery Program, which is repairing or replacing hundreds of aging highway bridges throughout the state. ODOT IS INVESTING IN OREGON’S FUTURE The surge of construction this summer and beyond is bringing opportunities for contractors and workers. m u « i i u i m n i w urntrain « 1 « , .......J S IS & g 5 s i £ I § INTRODUCING QWEST OFFICE PLUS » IT ’ S A B L A Z IN G F A S T H IG H -S P E E D IN T E R N E T S O LU T IO N YO U R B U S IN ESS C A N ’T DO W IT H O U T . YOU GET PLUS B U S I N E S S - C L A S S S E C U R IT Y w ith to u g h firew alls and a n ti-s p y w a re so you d o n 't have to w o rry a b o u t yo ur data. 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YOU GET I PLUS S U P E R -F A S T D O W N L O A D A N D UPLOAD SPEEDS so yo u 'll be even m o re p ro d u ctive . YOU GET Cl!* '¡Jortlanò (0 b sm tcr Established 1970 A D E D IC A T E D C O N N E C T IO N Y O U D O N ’T H A V E T O S H A R E . PLUS USPS 959-680 4 7 4 7 NE Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd.. Portland, OR 97211 Charles H. Washington Eoiros M ichael Leighton D istribution M anager : M ark W ashington C reative D irector : Paul N eufeldt O ffice M anager : Kathy Linder R eporter : Sarah Blount Dear Deanna: My sister listens to music that is vulgar and explicit. She listens to any type music and doesn’t care that she's exposing her children to adult lyrics and content. Her chil­ dren are now beginning to repeat the lyrics and she gets upset and shouts at them. She can’t see that they ’re simply repeating and sing­ ing the songs. Other than turning off her music, what other options are there? --Anonymous; Seattle ‘Titles’ Never too late to change Vancouver Marketing Expert Honored Shareefah Abdullah, founder and president of Vancouver-based Hot O vations Com m unications Coaching and Training Co., has earned special recognition from industry peers for her public rela­ tions work. Abdullah received the Bronze Beacon award from the Oregon Columbia International Associa­ tion o f Business Communicators for her work with the Oregon School Boards Association on “Tangible T rium ph” campaign that helped school boards, superintendents, principlesand teachers gain greater community support for students. Shareefah Abdullah Page A5 You c a n ’t g e t th a t fro m cable. E ditor - in -C hiee , P ublisher : I Í H • I f Mb The Portland Observer welcom es freelance submissions. M anuscripts and photographs N IIN -S M IO IN T IN N IT should be clearly labeled and w ill be returned i f accompanied by a self addressed envelope. A ll created design display ads become the sole property o f the newspaper and cannot be used in other publications o r personal usage w itho u t the w ritten consent o f the general The Portland O bserver--O regon's Oldest M u lticu ltu ra l P u b lic a tio n -is a member o f the National Newspaper A sso ciation-Founded in 1885. and The National A dvertising Representative Am algam ated Publishers. Inc. N ew Y ork. N Y . and The West Coast Black Publishers Association CALL 503-288-0033 PAX 5O3-288-OOI5 •tairai « • IC I QWEST* OFFICE PLUS Local phone package with download speeds up to 1.5Mbps and unlimited nationwide long distance DIGITAL VOICE Requires three year commitment on Qwest- Office Plus and Owes! 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