il!‘^Jvirtlanb © beerucr
lanuary 4. 2006
Ask o
Real People, Real Advice
Alt advice column known far
its fearless approach IO reality
hosed subjects!
He was bom more on
Aug. 7 , 1894 in Greenville,
Ala. at a tim e when black
men were generally forced
into the hardest o f work,
ruefully shortening their
lives.
But M ark M atthew s
beat those odds by a life
that spanned three centu­
ries, dying at the astounding age o f
111 last A ugust. A headstrong and
d iligent young m an, M atthew s
would find his way into the United
States Army w hile barely a teen­
ager. Conflicting sources put him at
14, 15 or 16 years old when he
persuaded a work boss to take him
to a m ilitary outpost and verify his
age as 18. Regardless o f his age,
M atthews proved him self a worthy
American patriot, immediately gain­
ing a stunning proficiency as a small
arm sexpert.
A say o u n g child. M atthew s was
deeply attached to farm anim als,
particularly horses. Nurturingsm all
ponies may have helped to heal
em otional w ounds that cam e from
losing both his m other and a twin
sister during his early childhood.
In 1904, at 10 years o f age he
began delivering new spapers on
horseback. His strong work ethic
quickly earned him an envied posi­
tion as a horse tender at a nearby
racetrack around 1905, almost a
decade before the First W orld War.
Dear Deanna!
y o u ’ve been m inding som eone
I have a crush on a lady that I’ve else’s business. Until you talk to
admired forafew years. I’ve watched the lady, you have no idea what
her relationships and get the feel­ sh e 's looking for or why she se­
ing she’s a bad judge o f ch. racter lects her dates. If you want to date
and dates certain men just to have her, be yourself and approach her
someone. I’ve com pared m yself to with respect. Trying to be som e­
all these men and know that I would thing y o u ’re not will be exposed
be good for her. I’m not her typical and y o u ’ll look foolish. Take a
bad boy type and I'm scared sh e’ll chance, be a real man and accept
reject me. Should I be m yself and the outcome.
approach her or should I be pre­
Dear Deanna!
pared to be what she wants'.* W hat
My wife denies me in every area of
do I do? —A fraid and In Love;
our relationship. We d o n ’t share,
W ashington, D.C.
go out together or anything else.
Dear Afraid:
The way we live rem inds me of
You need to stop being a stalker college when I had a room m ate.
and get yourself together. You have W hen we were dating, things were
too much time on your hands if great. She changed immediately
af ter marriage. The only interaction
we have is w hen she needs money
or 1 need to pay bills. I think sh e 's
seeing som eone from her past and
using me for security. How do I
handle this? -T y ro n e; Omaha, Neb.
Dear Tyrone:
Your wife wants “old time" treatment
with Y2K benefits and you're the
ATM. While dating she looked at
you with loving dollar signs in her
eyes and knew she would be taken
care of after marriage. You have the
right to know w hat's going on and
you have the power to address the
issue. Stop her in her tracks and seek
answers. If she doesn’t cooperate,
suggest joint counseling to fix the
problem or the bank is closed.
Army and began a second
career in security w ork at
the N atio n In stitu te o f
Health. He retired from his
second career after a total
o f 50 years o f work.
Ironically, he would live
for al most another 50 years.
Perhaps the National Insti­
tute o f Health should have
M atthews mind that day. Unable to taken a closer look at him. He cer­
contain his excitem ent, he went tainly would be a living exam ple of
straight to the men and told them he how to m aintain good health and
w anted to join the Army and be­ live an extremely longlife. He could
com e a Buffalo Soldier. Before an ­ also give us som e lessons in stay­
other birthday passed, he was on ing married as he and his wife
his way to a recruiting station in G enevieve, were together for over
Huntington, Va. After basic train­ five decades before her death in the
ing, he w as found to be a natural 1980s. Four children, nine grand­
horseman tojoin the I (^ C alv ary as children, and 17 great grandchil­
dren survived them both.
a Buffalo Soidier.
E a rly in h is th ird c e n tu ry
For the next three decades,
M atthews moved up through mili­ M a tth e w s w as b ro u g h t to the
tary ranks w hile helping America W hite House where he met with
through tw o world wars. As a first President Clinton. On his I OS"1 birth­
sergeant, he would com m and al­ day, C olin Powell joined him for
most 100 soldiers and was intro­ celebrations. T hree years later, on
duced to the legendary black c o m ­ Sept. 13, 2005, A m erica’s oldest
Buffalo Soldier succumbed to pneu­
m ander B enjam in O. D avis.
monia.
Im pressed with his determ ina­
F ittin g ly , l ’1 S erg ean t M ark
tion, Davis brought M atthews un­
M
atthews
was given a hero’s fu­
der his com m and. As part o f a spe­
neral
and
buried
at the Arlington
cial cavalry, they would be deployed
Nation
Cem
etery.
in the South Pacific, Panama, and
Ron Weber is a writer and
then to Saipan where they experi­
speaker
on African American his­
enced brutal com bat.
tory
and
a regular contributor to
Just after the end o f the W orld
the
Portland
Observer.
W ar II, M atthews retired from the
Buffalo Soldier Lived to 111
W hile sw eeping out a stall one
day he saw a strange sight. A group
o f highly polished black men en ­
tered the track to bet on the horses.
They w ore the most prestigious
clothing at ever seen. These men
Mark Matthews
were the well-regarded Buffalo Sol­
d ie rs o f the U n ited S tate s o f
America.
Not even the promise o f an elabo­
rate career in America's finest eques-
tr ia n c e n te rs c o u ld c h a n g e
Page A 9
Dear Deanna!
was probably too stunned to say
1 had a fight with one o f my best an y th in g . Y o u r g irlfrie n d w as
friends because she touched my wrong and will go further if allow ed
husband in a way I felt was disre­ b ecau se she o b v io u sly h as an
spectful. I im m ediately told her not agenda. You did the right thing
to touch my husband that way. She because if a m an touched you, your
laughed in my face and told me that husband w ould’ve done the same
1 was too serious and needed to thing. T here's no need to be mad
loosen up. She then touched him because you handled your busi­
again and I slapped her and the ness and need to w atch your friends
fight started. My husband d id n ’t and keep it moving.
say a word about the touch but told
Ask Deanna is written by Deanna
me I was stupid for fighting. Should
M Write Ask Deanna! Email:
I be mad at hint? - Elise; B irm ing­
askdeannal@yahoo.com
or 264
ham, Ala.
S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite 1283
Beverly Hills, CA 40211. Website:
Dear EHse:
Your husband d id n 't say anything
because he liked being touched but
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