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Conflict Resolution
Skills Taught To
Children
B y M iik k B o m a n n
W hile conflict resolution pro­
grams are introduced in high school
to teach alternatives to violence,
research increasingly points to the
first five years in a ch ild ’s life as
the critical period for influencing
social and em otional development.
“A lot o f child ren ’s habits, the
basic foundation for the ways they
think and relate, are established in
th o se first y e a r s ,” sa id L arry
D ieringer, executive director o f
Educators for Social Responsibil­
ity, a Boston-based organization
that has developed a conflict reso­
lution program for the very young
called Adventures in Peacemaking.
Lisa Cureton, a childcare direc­
tor and teacher trainer in Maryland,
said giving children the social and
emotional tools to handle life s ex­
periences is just as important as
developing their intelligence.
C iting the tw o student suspects
in the L ittleton, Colo. H igh school
killings, C ureton said they obvi­
ously had the intellectual ability
to build the bom bs and plan their
attack. W hat they lacked was emo­
tional intelligence.
“ We w ork so dilig en tly in giv­
ing our children cognitive intelli­
gence but we are losing the battle
as it relates to social and em o­
tional developm ent,” Cureton said,
referring to the w ork o f Daniel
G olem an and his book “Em otional
Intelligence.”
The A dventures in Peacem ak-
ing p ro g ram , w hich has been
im plem ented in 600 after-school
program s in 25 com m unities na­
tionw ide and has reached an esti­
m ated 16,000 children, aims to
give children em otional coping
skills at a young age, before they
have developed a protective mask
that is difficult to crack.
Geared for both pre-school chil­
dren and schoolchildren through
the sixth grade, the program is
designed for after-school hours and
em phasizes having fun. A ctivities
like “The Lily Pad H op,” “ Human
C am era” and “Beat the W ave”
teach cooperation, differing per­
spectives, and the effects o f ste­
reotyping. Y oungsters learn to
express their feelings, com m uni­
cate w ith each other, respect dif­
ferences in cultural background
and w ork together.
“We can remove that hardening
o f the heart before that hardening
even occurs,” by giving children
the skills to deal w ith their em o­
tions, says Cureton.
"T hen w e’ve really done some
work and can really make a change
for tom orrow .”
Positive reinforcem ent is an­
other tool that seems to help turn
around negative student behavior
in the low er grades. A program
called G ive Peace a C hance in
N ashville, Tenn., revolves around
small efforts to rew ard students
for good deeds. Positive notes from
other children are stuffed into
Continued on the next column
Snodgrass & Mannix
Perpetuate Mabon Tactics
There is plenty o f blame to go
around for school shootings in Peal,
Paducah, Jonesboro, Springfield,
Littleton and Coyners. The easy
availability o f guns. Hollywood vio­
lence. Failure o f friends schools
and law enforcem ent officials, fel­
low students and family to recog­
nize signs o f trouble. The Internet.
There may be another root cause:
The role o f the Lon Mabons o f the
world. M abon, leader o f the con­
servative religious group, Oregon
Citizens Alliance, will o f course
deny he favors hatred or is a part o f
killing kids. But what his words
and deeds do is foster trouble.
No, M abon d id n ’t call for the
p h y s ic a l v io le n c e o f s c h o o l
shootings. But he led a church-
based election cam paign to single
out hom osexuals and treat them as
less than equal hum an beings.
Twice in the 1990’s M abon put a
supposed "m oral authority” b e­
hind an em otionally violent m es­
sage to youths that it is okay to
target groups you d o n ’t like or
disagree with.
It isn ’t difficult for adolescents
Continued from previous column
envelopes stapled to a wall for each
child at Goodletsville Elementary
School. Slights and hurts are recorded
with tacks on a Peace Fence that are
removed when the affront is resolved.
So m any children grow up in a
violent environm ent that they do
not know what peace m eans, said
Carolyn Bush, the fourth grade
teacher who initiated the program .
“We decided to create an environ­
ment to let them know what peace
really is,” she says.
Raising awareness about the cul­
ture o f violence that children live
in is another goal o f Educators for
S o c ia l R e s p o n s ib ility , sa id
Dieringer. “ It is important to rec­
ognize that we live in a culture that
too often celebrates violence, es­
pecially through the m edia,” he
said. “It’s important for us as adults
to directly address some o f the fac­
tors that contribute to this culture
o f violence, like the availability o f
weapons. There are some larger,
cultural factors that we as adults
have to take responsibility for.”
At Sweeney Elem entary School
in
S a n ta
F e, N .M .,
th e
BULLYPROOF program tries to
dilute the effects o f violent televi­
sion shows and m ovies by em pha­
sizing peaceful storytelling and en­
tertainment.
Through puppet shows and a
rap opera, children are given ex­
amples o f how to address bullying
through characters like the Listen­
ing Lynx, Loving Lion, and Re­
spectful Raven.
M aking abstract concepts con­
crete through games and activities
is at the heart o f A dventures in
Peacem aking, too. “ So m uch o f
the inform ation we give kids is not
fun,” said Cureton, who after four
years o f working with the program
in M aryland is now training others
to use it.
“The piece that was pow erful
(in P e a c e m a k in g ) w as giv in g
youngsters the opportunity to prac­
tice skills they needed w ithout it
being lecture based. I could see
how the children w ould learn and
discern those skills w ithout really
knowing it,” said Cureton.
Adventures in Peacemaking was
initiated four years ago by AT&T
em ployees who were concerned
both about increasing violence
among children and the quality o f
after-school program s. Backed by
the com pany’s Fam ily Care De­
velopm ent Fund, Educators for
Social R esponsibility and Project
Adventure - an experimental learn­
ing com pany - team ed up to de­
velop the curriculum .
E d u c a to r sa y the p ro g ra m
works. V icki W right, who intro­
d u c e d P e a c e m a k in g a t the
C h ild re n ’s L earning C enter in
Longm ont, C olo., said after one
year physical confrontations be­
tween her children are down and
the whole atm osphere o f the room
to take the underlying message to
the next stage for physical violence
against any group o f humans. In
Littleton the targets in the gun lens
deliberately include a born-again
Christian co-ed and Black athlete.
Mabon w ouldn’t get away with
harassing gays with a gun so he
used the other insidious tactic o f
emotional violence. Is it a coinci­
dence th a t tw o o f the school
shootings happened in states where
there have been anti-gay ballot cam ­
paigns earlier in this decade and
most o f the other shootings have
been in conservative "Bible Belt”
states where youth have had years
o f anti-gay teaching in church?
Snodgrass: Dividing
Oregon Again
Now O regon Republic Reps.
Lynn Snodgrass and Kevin Mannix
are se e k in g to p e rp e tu a te the
M abon em otional violence tactic.
Their Joint Resolution 29 is aim ed
at gays. They attem pt to sanitize
and hide their anti-gay bias by not
including the w ord “hom osexual­
ity” in their ballot measure.
has changed for the better.
"W e have a lot o f challenging
children and some behavior prob­
lems,” W right explained. “Those
sorts o f things are way down. The
children have learned how to use
anger management tools and how
to use words in an appropriate way.”
Change doesn’t happen over­
night and the program asks for a
one-year com m itm ent from par­
ticipating after-school programs.
But once the curriculum has had
time to take hold, the effects are
often rem arkable, Cureton notes.
A fter the first year, children in her
program began to com m unicate
If sin is w hat they are against,
note that they do n ’t speak to ban
m arriage or benefits for “ all sin ­
ners (period).” A fter all, the Bible
is full o f rules S nodgrass and
M annix violate. So the duo plays
pick and choose with sins and point
their trigger finger at groups they
think they can easily dom inate.
Schoolyard Bullies
Just like sch oolyard bullies
Snodgrass and M annix are pick­
ing a fight with someone they think
they can beat. In the short term
Snodgrass and Mannix will no m at­
ter w hat the election results are.
They know sex sells and they can
raise lots o f m oney and energize
their troops w ith a sex-related bal­
lot issue.
H ow ever in the long run O r­
egon w ill be divided and after the
election there will be straight, gay
and bisexual mem bers o f society.
Ironically, at the beginning o f her
term w ith the H ouse Speaker,
Snodgrass claim ed she was tired
o f O regon being divided betw een
rural and urban areas. Yet she is
more effectively and started to
cooperate w ith each other.
“By year two I saw a drastic
change," she says. C hildren who
had been enemies started holding
hands, sitting next to each other
and treating each other w ith re­
spect. “Cursing stopped, fighting
com pletely left the program and
children began to function" as a
com m unity, she explains.
Says Cureton, “I see it as a ve­
hicle for change. I see it as chang­
ing the behaviors o f our children
and giving them the tools they need
to cope w ith w hat’s happening in
our society. W e’re touching a lot
happy to lead a divisive cam paign
against a group she d o esn't like.
Snodgrass, M annix and Mabon
should read Jerem iah 23 on their
politics o f division, w hich has
turned people away from churches:
W oe to the shepherds who destroy
and scatter the sheep o f my pas­
ture! Says the L ord... it is you who
have scattered my flock, and driven
them a w a y ...” Instead o f dividing
O regon with yet another religious-
based ballot cam paign, Snodgrass
and M annix m ight try the positive
tactic o f evangelism . If they con­
vince 99% o f O regonians to com ­
m it them selves to be practicing
m em bers o f th eir conservative
churches, the legislators w ouldn’t
have to fear w hat they label “ the
gay agenda."
Instea, Joint Resolution 29 is a
tactic adm ission by Snodgrass and
M annnix that they are failing to
convince O regonians o f their in­
terpretations. So the legislators
instead are seeking a secular law
to im pose their religious beliefs
even on people o f faith who find a
different m essage in the Bible.
o f lives.”
Mieke H. Bomann is a free-lance
reporter based in Seattle.
Contacts: Larry Dieringer, ex­
ecutive director. Educators fo r Social
Responsibility, Boston. Mass.. 617-
492-1764.
Vicki Wright, assistant director.
Children's Learning Center, 851
Crisman Drive, Longmont, Colo.
80503. 303-651-1008. • L isa Cureton.
childcare director, University fo r Tots,
Suitland, MD.. 301-856-0782.
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