Page 4 May 26,1999 ÿorthwi» ©bamter Focus M em orial D avj Vietnam Remembered By Eric Karlson C ontrib u tin g W riter At the age of IB, I found a letter on my dresser. It read: Dear Mr. Karlson, Your num ber was chosen in the nationw ide lottery and you have been drafted into the United States Army. You will re p o rt for your physical exam in Perth Amboy, New Jersey on December 9, 1969. “Yeah right. Take a #*#* hike! I mumbled, as I crumpled it up and threw it to the floor. I grew up in a very stressed fam­ ily with a rage-a-holic father and a m other who was in and out of a m ental institution. T here was a lot of dysfunction. To survive the brute reality of my home life, I consumed a lot of alcohol and drugs. I joined the Army, desperate to kick my habit. My uays o f b o o t cam p were spt nt stabbing dummies with bayo­ nets, shooting paper targets of en emy s o ld ie rs o u t in th e fie ld , marching, doing push-ups and KP, and being pushed to our physical and m ental limits. T hey le c tu re d us a b o u t how great the United States was for pro­ tecting little co u n tries from the “evils of com munism .” No m atter how much they seemed to explain, 1 still couldn’t get it. They told us about Vietnam and how if we let the commies take it, they’d be landing on our beaches next. A couple of m onths after my training in the states, 1 was shipped to Camp Eagle in Phu Bai, south of H ue (near th e D em ilita rize d Zone) in Vietnam. When I got there, I quickly real­ ized that we were not going to win this war. All the GIs knew this as well. T he m orale was horrible. We were apathetic and felt like we were being used for canon-fodder - just sent out there to get shot up rather than actually winning anything. We were under trem endous pres­ sure, especially the infantry on the front lines to come back with dead Viet Cong enemies or body counts. Many of us turned to drugs. I found myself smuggling m arijuana, opium and heroin from the Viet­ namese villages to the m ilitary base in Phu Bai where 1 was stationed. As 1 traveled into the villages to sc o re d ru g s, I w itn e sse d som e A m erican forces b ru ta liz in g the In Vietnam, the U.S. destroyed 9,000 out of 15,000 hamlets, 25 million acres of farmland, 12 million acres of forest, and left 25 million bomb craters. life. I missed the simplicity of the I grew my hair long, m arched in Vietnamese to the point of murder. peasants and their loving ways, and After the end of one m onth in d e m o n stra tio n s in W ashington, also my b u d d ies w ith w hom I ’d Vietnam, I went AWOL. My break- D.C., and joined the antiwar move­ found so much in common. T here m ent and the V ietnam V eterans ng p o in t cam e a fte r se ein g an was m uch confusion after having \m erican Sargeant “blow away” a Against the War to continue my pro­ lived u n d er such extrem e co n d i­ Vietnamese boy for ste alin g his test against the injustices taking tions where compassion and staying place in Southeast Asia. T he GIs vrist watch. S om ething snapped alive were all that really m attered. there were counting on those of us nside of me. I realized th at I could Since the governm ent of V iet­ who had m ade it back to tell Ameri­ not be a p art of w hat A m erican nam recently opened the country to cans the real story. forces were doing in Vietnam. tourism , the possibility now exists T he saddest aspect of the Viet­ To survive, I lived with the Viet­ namese villagers. T he locals p ro ­ nam war were how the veterans were for me to return. W hat would I find? treated when they returned home. Are all my friends and lovers dead? tected me from U.S. forces. They dem onstrated to me th eir huge ca­ Unfortunately, they d idn’t receive A re the people who h elped, pro­ tected, and cared for me gone? Viet­ pacity for u n d erstan d in g and com ­ recognition for their courage and nam ese who supported or even as­ desire to protect their country. They passion in a way th at I never expe­ sociated with Americans during the were placed in a no-win situation. rienced before in my life. For the Memories of Nam perm eated my U.S. occupation were either killed most p a rt, my frozen heart began to open. I was ev en tu ally caught near the city of Hue. Along with two other GIs, we were being chased by m ilitary po­ lice who captured us. T here was a Colonel back at the base wjto w anted to court m artial me and lock me up in Long Binh jail, b u t a major who had befriended me p u sh ed for im m ed ia te d is­ charge and I was sent home. On O ctober 15, 1970, I was back on U.S. soil behind R E G G A E R a B twelve-foot barbed wire fences in a stockade in Ft. Lewis, south of S eattle. Two days later, I was discharged and on P a r t i e s • W e d d in c c • A n n iv e r s a r ie s • E t c a plane back to New Jersey. Need a D.J.? Tired o f the same old style o f music? Let Reggae Mobile D J . come and liven up your guestsll Call Rog 503-282-9062 ' or taken to slave labor camps in the jungles. Few survived. But even if their physical presence is gone, their love and compassion lives on in my heart. In the presence of the V ietnam ­ ese peasants, I was given a vision of w hat life could be for us all. I hold th at vision in hopes that the qualities these sim ple people ex­ pressed in their everyday lives will som eday change the way people think and act. Perhaps our world will then reach the potential that the C reato r in ten d ed for us - one in which intellect and heart fuse as one, an d our decisions are m ade from a level where love and con­ cern for our fellow hum an beings guide our actions. Every injustice bears w ithin it a seed. T his seed can be n u rtu red in darkness and the fruit will be re­ sentm ent and fu rth er injustice, or it can be n u rtu red in the light and the fruit will be th a t of learning and com passion. We have the op­ p o rtu n ity to expand o u r hearts and find new ways within ourselves to change life for the better. O u r Vietnam experiences brought forth a vital seed for all of us to recog­ nize the treasures that we have in our lives. Eric K arlson is th e a u th o r of Fall To Grace (M ariposa Press). His w e b site is www. M a rip o s a Press.com . He can be reached by e m a il at eric k 'S ’M a rip o sa - P ress.com .