À ' ’ - • ; . ! Page 6 Focus March 31,1999 N P R I N T The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work (Crown Publishers; 1999) By John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexual­ ity, so Dr. John Gottman has revolution­ ized the study of marriage. As a profes­ sor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and direc­ tor of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented de­ tail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended work­ shops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life’s work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relation­ ship. Straightforw ard in their ap­ proach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on pay­ ing attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relation- ship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Cottm an’s workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Mar­ riage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. Rage at God THE S even P r in c ip l e s for M aking . M a r r ia g e W ork (Ant HiU Press;1998) By Anneliese Widman, Ph.D. M illions of people in our society struggle with the anguish o f their past experiences - abuse, victim iza­ tion, failure - and most keep it in­ side, or worse, inflict the sam e pain on those around them. It is too aw­ ful for them to believe (or even con­ sciously consider) that they are com­ mitting the sam e torturous behavior that their parents did. Dr. Annelise Widman, a NYC psycho­ therapist specializing in Bioenergetics, sh ares her unique work with Reflectivism, or negative transference. Based on our history with our parents, we reflect their traits in ourselves - of­ ten in rebellion with the “way things are” or as a RAGE A T GOD. Reflectivism helps rid one of this behavior by accept­ ing the concept, then expressing their repressed, sordid feelings. This process will cleanse and bring one to a more bal­ anced, expanded self. Within the book: • Learn ways to accept that you are a reflection of your parents, and how to utilize this information. • Methods to change your negative en­ ergy into positive energy. • How G od is involved and is per­ ceived as the “ ultimate” parent. •W hy forgiveness plays such a large role in this process. The Journals - A Message from the Council of Ancients (DaScribe;1998) By R.T. Stone It’s this simple but profound mes­ sage, contained within the pages of The Jou rn als - A M essage from the Council of Ancients, that’s setting the literary world on fire and touching the hearts, challenging the minds and deepening the souls of all who delve into its pages.C ontained within the mystical blue and gold shell of this extraordinary novel, labeled “vision­ ary fiction,” comes the surprisingly down-to-earth story o f an average, plain-old C in cin n ati b u sin essm an » who would sooner walk on hot coals than subscribe to what he calls “ that New Age crap.” Holistic healing, a vegetarian lifestyle, saving the envi­ ronm ent, spirituality - all foreign concepts to the main character, R.T. Stone, who describes himself as the “official icon of the non-believer.” A nd what readers all across the co u n try are d isc o v e rin g , is that whether they are believers, non-be­ lievers, or somewhere in between. The Jo u rn als is drawing them into its pages with its astounding insight into their lives and the extraordinary n ature o f the hum an experience. Whether the novel enlightens you, enraptures you, or enrages you, it will encourage you to investigate the truth behind everything you’ve ever been taught. It will challenge you to accept the possibility that everything in this world, including T h e Jo u r ­ nals, isn't always as it seems. A P ra c tic a l G u id e from th e C o u n try 's F o rem o st R e la tio n sh ip E xp ert JOHN M. GOTTMAN, and NAN S IL V E R P H .D .,