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JUNE 3, 1998
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‘Supper Table Input’; What Was It? What Now? II
by
P rof . M c K inley B i r i
A reader says that “Supper Table
Input" is just as important an obser­
vation as the ‘Takes a whole village
to raise a child’ principle-that age-
old African concept that was bor­
rowed by Hillary Clinton for her
recent best seller."
Conversations with a number of
people soon revealed that more than
a tew' had experienced the warmth
and character building nature o f this
process-and were exceedingly grate­
ful for this nurturing phase o f their
adolescence. Others were some­
what wistful; “I knew what you were
talking about, but there wasn’t time
for it in our family.”
There were some who could not
relate at all to this kind of socializa­
tion within the family, and would
cite varied and sundry sources for
their guidance, role models and
moral compasses. As at other time,
people cited books, peers, televi­
sion, movies and the streets. And I
always note that there is an age and
time gradient in these recitals.
That is, as you draw nearer to the
present generation, your interviews
reflect changing life styles which in
turn parallel certain real estate eco­
nomics. There is less and less room
for that "extended family;” increas­
ingly less “Supper Table Input” from
grandparents, uncles, aunts, cous­
ins.
So, if there is "No room at the
inn” as the saying goes, I was quite
right last week in respect to what is
being missed at one of civilizations
most important hours.
“Then contemplate, if you will,
the richness and variety o f the con­
versations and information that
would flow back and forth across
this ‘supper table.’ The broad
knowledge and experience of many
age groups and occupations reaches
the ears of adult and child alike.”
Apartments have changed the cul­
ture.
My phone has hosted a broad
spectrum of viewpoints in these past
few days. “I think you have de­
scribed very well the situation that
has produced these ‘ Latch Key Ter-
rorist’ that roam our neighborhoods
in the evening.” And reflecting on
the habits of two preceding genera­
tions; “I’m sure you say that long
article on the famed ‘Dr. Spock’ in
Sunday’s newspaper” (5/17/98).
I his latter caller says the issue has
been compounded.
“Mr. Burt, I think that man opened
the door for the escalating permis­
siveness besieging our society. Add­
ing some o f Sigmund Freud’s eso­
teric infant psychology to his own
rebellion against a rigid (and ridi­
culed) childhood, he served us up a
‘Spock designed extension of the
womb.’ I am sure that he is not
completely to blame but in each
succeeding generation Dr. Spock
has counseled, there has been de­
creasing discipline among our youth.
This has been accompanied by a
pronounced increase in violence,
vandalism, and a general disrespect
for society’s norms.
As I mentioned last week, I was
barely into that article (5/27/97)
when the news flash came “Gunfire
and Casualties at Springfield, Or­
egon high school. Well, you know
the rest o f the story ‘as that com­
mentator used to say. Seeking a
“rationale,” every major psychia­
trist and psychologist at home and
abroad has been asked to pontifi­
cate on this latest tragedy. And a
cottage industry of similarly opin­
ionated pundits-without portfolio
has risen at every TV and radio
station; and on every daily newspa­
pers Op-Ed page.
A great number of Americans
hold the big corporate media and
entertainment combines responsible
for a large part o f the general de­
cline in the standards and role mod­
els held up to our youth. But as one
reader puts it, “I listen to the pious
simpering of their prime time com­
mentators following each tragedy-
when they know perfectly well that
there will be no tampering with the
almighty ‘bottom line’ o f dollars."
1 appreciate the favorable com­
ments from the father who says my
suggestions for kids is to construct
models rather than being given ready
built toys is working out beautifully
with his young ones. Much less
television, more reading science and
instruction manuals, and less time
“on the block.”
Next week. Is it possible to es­
tablish a “Supper Table" situation
where there is only a nuclear family-
or just one parent, the case with so
many million of our youth?
T e n s io n O n W o r ld S t a g e
After thirty-two years o f nepo­
tism , cronyism and abuse o f
pow er, In d o n esian P resid en t
Suharto w isely chose to step
aside and allow his people to
breathe free.
However, his departure does
not solve the broader, structural
problem s facing Indonesia:
* There is legitim ate concern
among Indonesians and interna­
tional observers that S uharto’s
h an d -p ic k ed su c c e sso r, Vice
President Habibie, will be a pup­
pet of the Suharto family and the
military.
* Students still do not have a
voice in governm ent.
* Political prisoners remain in
jail.
* The vast gap between rich
and poor is growing.
When Rev. Jackson traveled
fPc/lcr 'Go 'Gha <3f'3i/or
Send your letters lo the Editor to:
Fdilor PC) Bo*. .1117. Portland OR 97208
On February 7, 1998 my son
R ahshann Stone was m urdered
on N.E. 14th and G oing St. At
the tim e o f his death he had
m ade some positive changes in
his life, was w orking, taking
resp o n sib ility for his son and
no lo n g e r a s s o c ia tin g w ith
form er gang m em bers.
At the time o f my so n ’s death,
had he been a gang mem ber I
would not have loved him any
ess and he still would not have
deserved to be m urdered. Love
for our children is unconditional.
We love them in spite o f things
they do we may no, approve of.
On M emorial Day, a community
came together for the firs, time
not only to rem em ber Rahshann
but the many other young men
slain in our streets. It was very
hard for me to return to the scene
o f the crim e where my son was
m urdered but we came to make a
statement that we respect the dig­
nify and worth o f every human
being. We wanted to show how
valuable life is and how positive
things may bring about positive
change and some healing. We
formed a circle and held hands
to show unity, a speech was read
about senseless acts o f gun vio-
ence. R ahshann’s sister made a
c ro s s; a n o th e r san g c h u rch
hymns, a cousin read the names
o f 15 friends Rahshann had w rit­
ten down who preceded him in
death. More were added to this
memory list as so many more
had died since he began his list.
At the top o f this list he wrote
Rest In Peace" and now he too
jo in s a grow ing list. My prayers
are that this list well stop and
that my son's memorial will bring
public aw areness ,o our dying
s P
to Indonesia two years ago, co n ­
v e n tio n a l w isd o m w as th a t
indonesia was enjoying improved
economic conditions and was ripe
for growth. However, Rev. Jack-
son observed that poverty re­
mained widespread and that, for
many, the growth was not shared.
The financial good times masked
the status quo for the poor.
When the Asian financial c ri­
sis hit, the masks were rem oved,
and the gap between the haves
(S u h arto ’s family and friends)
and the have-nots (alm ost every-
one else) was exposed for the
w orld to see.
During his trip, Rev. Jackson
also met with M uehtar Pakpahan,
a prom inent labor organizer. Mr.
Pakpahan was arrested im m edi­
ately after Rev. Jackson left and
has been in prison ever since.
The United States should:
* Demand the release o f all
political prisoners.
* Place pressure on the new
governm ent to hold free and fair
elections as soon as possible.
* Hold Indonesia to the same
standards that we held South Af
rica - reform first, trade and ait
second.
* Use its influence with thi
IMF to make dem ocratic reform:
a prerequisite to aid.
For the Indonesian economy tc
grow and mature in the next century
its government must be founded or
democratic principles. And for the
United States to reap the benefits of
increased trade with the fourth most
populous nation on earth, we must
not compromise our commitment to
democracy and human rights.
Metro Recycling Information
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Tip o f the week:
Grasscycling
race. At the end o f the m emorial
we spoke o f our undying love for
Rahshann and the plight o f our
Afro American com m unity.
We shared m em ories o f my
s o n ’s short life and we passed a
p ictu re around the circ le o f
him in the coffin to show the
fin ality o f death and the an ­
guish and pain etched upon the
h earts and m inds o f those left
behind.
(Poem Read)
hast Monday in May we pause to remember those who died.
With so much courage
So much pride
They 'll never come hack
But memories endure
To remind us o f freedom fragile, pure
We think o f the senselessness o f their deaths each day
Siot ju st on the last Monday o f Memorial Day in May.
Thelma Stone
In memory - Rahshann Stone
7/18/78 -2/7/98
Rest in Peace
Leave grass clippings on your
lawn. You’ll use less fertilizer
and spend less time mowing.
Call 234-3000 for
a grasscycling
brochure.
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