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1 ut P ori land O bserver « D ecember 13, 1995
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H oliduiffi B r in g A n x ie t y
A b o u t L a c k O f F a m ily T im e
For many families, spending
extra time together during the holi­
days increases the anxiety about how
little time they share the other 11
months ot the year, according to a
nationally-recognized psychologist
and authority on parenting.
“Many, probably most, Ameri­
can parents are concerned about the
amount of time they share with their
children," explained Dr. Lawrence
Balter, professor ofapplied psychol­
ogy at New York University. "The
holidays, with their abundance of
family activities, can make the con­
cern even more acute.”
According to the Family Re­
search Council, the amount of time
parents spend with children today
has dropped 40 percent since 1965,
and national research has found that
parents are increasingly concerned
about the situation.
l or example, the National Com­
mission on Children reported that 59
percent of all parents said they want
to spend more time with their chil­
dren.
“The problem isn’t desire," Dr.
Balter said. "Parents want to be with
their children. The problem is mak­
ingtime and finding activities every­
one can enjoy.”
Dr. Balter, author of "Who’s In
Control (Dr. Balter’s Guide to Disci­
pline Without Combat)’’and "Not In
Front of the Children ...(Howto Talk
to Your Child About Tough Family
Matters)”, recommends five activi­
ties that are particularly well suited
for family togetherness.
The first is eating together.
"The family meal is the easiest
opportunity for family time,” he said.
“It doesn't have to be fancy. It just
needs to be a time when everyone in
the family is together around the ta­
ble. The only requirement is that the
television is turned off.”
Another activity parents and
children can do together is a home
improvement project.
Seniors (io I lome For The I loi ida ijs
“ Projects involving a child’s
room are particularly satisfying,” Dr.
Balter said, "and there’s almost al­
ways a task for even the youngest do-
it-yourselfer.”
Simple pleasures like walks or
bicycle trips are very enjoyable and
take a minimal amount o f advanced
planning. Day trips — such as ex­
ploring an urban neighborhood, pick­
ing apples in the country or visiting a
museum — take a little more plan­
ning but are rewarding adventures
for young and old alike.
Dr. Balter’s fifth suggestion is
to "turn the TV into an ally and watch
it as a family.”
“A generation ago, watching
television was our primary family
activity," he said. “Each house typ­
ically had one television and it drew
everyone together. Then, the price of
television sets came down, the amount
ofprogramming increased and many
Americans now tend to watch televi­
sion in isolation.”
Trade-offs Piade To Balance Family Life
A new study o f more than 6,000
employees in professional and man-;
ufacturing jobs has found that many
- and only slightly more women than
men - have made career trade-ofTs to
try to balance their work and family
life.
The survey of Du Pont Co. em­
ployees found that at the managerial
and professional level, 47 percent of
the women and 4 1 percent of the men
had told their supervisors that they
would not be available for reloca­
tion.
In the same group, 32 percent of
the women and 19 percent of the men
had told their bosses that they would
not take ajob that required extensive
travel.
In addition, 7 percent o f the
women and 11 percent of the men
had turned down a promotion they
had been offered.
Among those in manufacturing
jobs, 45 percent of the women and 39
percent of the men had refused to
work overtime. Also, 12 percent of
the women and 15 percent ofthe men
had turned down a promotion.
"W e’ve asked those questions
in about 40 surveys o f larger compa­
nies and what we’re seeing over time
is that more men are making these
trade-offs,” said Charles Rodgers,
president of Rodgers & Associates,
the Boston-based firm that conduct­
ed the study for Du Pont. “Du Pont is
not out of line. There is increasing
congruence between men’s answers
and women's.”
The study was based on ques­
tionnaires given to a representative
sampling of employees at Du Pont,
and on focus groups to supplement
that data.
Du Pont, which has a total of
about 130,000 employees, was one
of the first large companies to devel­
op extensive work-family programs,
including flexible work hours, job
sharing, subsidized emergency child
care, and referrals for care for elderly
relatives or children, or for other
family needs.
The study found that employees
who had used these programs were
more likely than others to say they
would “go the extra mile” to assure
Du Pont’s success.
"This study shows that manage­
ment practices that respond to the
needs of the labor force are very
effective as tools to make the work
force more committed and more en­
gaged,” Rodgers said. “It’s striking
evidence that if you do something to
meet the employees' needs, they re­
turn the favor.”
Du Pontdid its first work-family
study in 1985, and although the new
study covers somewhat different
ground, the 10-yearcomparison pro-
duced some surprising results.
The proportion of employees
reporting “great difficulty" finding
Zairha Knueppel says thank you after Southwest Airlines representative Tara Desrosiers presents fieri
chi Id care declined considerably from
with airline tickets to El Paso, Texas, which will enable her to visit her family in Mexico this Christmas. |
1985 to 1995. And since the 1985
(Photo by Michael Le/gbfonjJ
survey, the percentage of men in
IL M kiiaei L eighton
are Charles Veit, who last saw his
“traditional” families, where the wife
mentary School Choir provided en­
Doming Cachero and his wife
stays home with the children, in­
family 50 years ago and Lillian Irvin
tertainment with holiday and con­
I are among a group of 10 Portland
creased.
who has a sister suffering from Leu­
temporary songs much to the de­
area senior citizens who are going
kemia.
Rodgers said that change might
light of the lunchtime audience.
home for the holidays thanks to
be due to sampling procedures or an
Minnie Fairley of northeast Port­
A tradition since 1979, “Home I
Southwest Airlines and the Area
aging work force rather than a funda­
land will visit her grandchildren and
tor the Holidays" has enabled ap­
Association on Aging for Mult-
mental shift in family patterns. But,
great-grandchildren in Chicago and
plicants ot at least 65 years of age
| nomah County.
Mississippi. She was separated from
he said, the Du Pont study and simi­
and living on a fixed income toj
Cachero is an infantry veteran
her daughter 20 years ago and just
lar surveys his company has con­
travel free of charge during the hol­
who
immigrated
to
the
United
States
recently
learned o f her death.
ducted elsewhere show that profes­
idays.
in 1924 from the Philippines. The
Fairly and Zairah Kneuppel were
sional and managerial men in large
T he program was cited by I
last
time
he
saw
a
living
family
among
the seniors who attended a
companies are far more likely to live
President Reagan in 1986 as an
| member was 1950.
ceremony in their honor held recent­
in traditional families than statistics
outstanding com m unity service
Also visiting relatives this
ly at the Southeast Multicultural Se­
about the overall work force would
program and awarded the Pres­
Christmas season thanks to the
nior Center.
predict.
idential award for Private Sec-|
"Home for the Holiday’s" program
The Martin Luther King Jr. Ele-
“When you look at the work
tor Initiatives.
force in general, young men who
have wives staying home with the
children are a distinct minority,”
Rodgers said. "Managerial men in
In a national study, more than
their schools are doing a good job
tured work experiences to a purely
large corporations, even young men
two-thirds of parents believe their , academic education.
with vocational and technical educa­
with children, are far more likely to
children need to start taking special­
tion; only 30 percent say their school
In fact, a majority of parents
have traditional families, and that is
ized courses and making career deci­
is doing a good job of work and
ranked work skills as the single most
not changing very much."
sions as early as middle school and
career counseling.
important preparation for earning a
O f those who responded to the
definitely by the first two years of
living, not only above technical skills
Support for this kind of tradition­
Du Pont survey, 16 percent care for
high school.
and course work like science and
al
diploma
substitute extends across
elderly relatives, with a quarter of
Similarly, parents overwhelm­
history, but even above basic skills
the
socioeconomic
spectrum with non­
them spending $2,000 to $5,000 a
ingly prefer an education that in­
like reading and math.
whites
being
most
supportive.
year on such care and 6 percent spend­
cludes occupational skills and struc­
Just
36
percent
of
parents
say
ing $10,000 or more.
Parents Rank Jobs Skills
Poll Shows Children Fear They Will Die Young
A new national poll reveals a
majority of American children aged
7 to 10 fear they will die young.
The poll also shows large num­
bers of teenagers are exposed to gang
violence, sex, drug and alcohol
abuse, all threats to their health and
safety. The poll covers children from
all economic, social and geographi­
cal areas in the country and is being
released by Kaiser Permanente and
Children Now.
I hepollalsofoundthatchildren
prefer talking to their mothers about
Dad’s
these issues. Teens with higher lev­
els of exposure to health and safety
threats are far less likely to turn to
adults for advice. And, even in 2
parent families, few children turn to
their fathers or other adult males as
their primary source o f advice.
Children Now is a nationally
prominent children's policy, advo­
cacy and communications organiza­
tion, headquartered in Oakland.
The poll findings will be used to
develop recommendations for how
he health care field can better serve
the needs of America’s children.
kienqw ' s
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