Portland observer. (Portland, Or.) 1970-current, January 09, 1991, Page 5, Image 5

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    I
January 9 , 1 9 9 1 -T h e Portland Observer*-Page
5
OPINION
nA-
* ~ ; ♦
5 .-Î?
•
Jealousy: A C ancer Within
BY CM BROOKS
If my memory serves me correctly,
I can recall being in jealous state of mind
only once. This is not to say that 1 have
not been envious because I
have been from time to time.
As a matter of fact, I have
probably been stricken with
envy more times than I ought
to admit! Jealousy, however,
is an emotion that trucly
escapes me. After one bad
experience, I well-learned
my lesson.
Envy takes on a differ­
ent flavor from jealousy in
that it means you covet someone or
something. Merrian-Webster accurately
defines envy as a, “ grudging desire for
or discontent at the sight of anothers
excellence or advantages. “ Jealousy, on
the other hand, means that you already
have someone or something that some­
one else wants to covet. Once again
Merrian-Webster defines jealousy as,
“ suspicious at a rival.”
Jealousy and envy differ mainly
from their responses given to it. For
example, many Americans are envious
change or modify the situation. Instead
of focusing on internal problems and
finding solutions to them, we direct our
attention to the external forces. The per­
ceived bone of contention-real or imag­
ined. In trying to hold on
to what you have, you
eventually wind-up de­
stroying with counter pro­
ductive behavior.
You can avoid being
jealous or envious by let­
ting that negative energy
motivate you to achieve
the goals that you set for
yourseL. If its more money
you want, find new ways
same time we all dream to obtain what he of investing and saving. If you want to
has worked for. As a matter of fact, we maintain your relationship do the little
work just as hard, if not harder, than things on a daily basis that is needed in
Donald Trump to secure our financial building a stronger relationship. Don’t
future. Americans are funny that way wait until the last minute to realize that
something is wrong in your life and think
and so is envy!
Jealousy is more irrational and ma­ that maybe a last ditch effort will im­
nipulative in the outcome than envy. If prove your circumstances because it’ll
someone takes a strong liking to your be too late by then. If you take inventory
mate or job even, panic sets in. Instead of everyday, you’ll keep the green-eyed
doing the things needed to keep your monster away!
mate or job before hand. We wait until
the last minute to take inventory to try to
of the wealthy. Donald Trump is one
such figure in popular culture that most
despise because of his fortune. In our
dislike for Donald Trump, we secretly
cheered his financial woes, yet at the
You can avoid being jealous or
envious by letting that
negative energy motivate you
to achieve the goals that you
set for yourself.
Oregon’s Unemployment Trust Fund
Outpaces Many Ir
In Nation
cession and Oregon is nearing that tar­
get, Clark said.
“ The credit for our fund’s solvency
is due largely to changes made by the
legislature following tough recessionary
times in the 1970’s,” Employment Divi­
sion Administrator Pamela Mattson said.
Recently released government fig­
ures show that as many as 28 states may
need to borrow from the federal govern­
ment to pay unemployment benefits during
Oregon’s unemployment trust fund
is ranked in the top ten in the nation in
terms of its solvency, according to
Employment Division officials.
Currendy, Oregon has a $970 mil­
lion fund on deposit with the federal
government, according to Oregon Em­
ployment Division actuary Mike Clark.
The U.S. Department of Labor recom­
mends state unemployment trust funds
have an 18-month cushion during a re-
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new job and much more. Jealousy is also
an insecurity that seeks control over an­
other human being. That is wrong. At­
tempting to control what a person does,
who they see, where they go or their per­
sonality can only get you in trouble. And
those who allow themselves to be con­
trolled or manipulated should seek pro­
fessional help. I would go so far as to
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a recession. Oregon does not fall into
that category largely due to changes made
by the legislature in this state’s stan­
dards, according to Mattson.
The legislature increased the sol­
vency requirements for the state’s fund
so that it would remain healthier during
poor economic times. Oregon employ­
ers have paid at a higher tax rate during
the * ‘good times’ ’ so that the fund would
not run in danger in bad times, Mattson
said.
That means its likely that during a
recession taxes won’t need to be raised
on employers in order to pay out neces­
sary benefits, according to Clark.
Oregon employers are paying from
1.6 to 5.4 percent on the first $16,000 of
payroll. The rate decreased in 1990 and
1991 and could drop again in 1992, even
under the scenario of a continued slow­
down or mild recession, Mattson said.
relationship. Though there are some people
in the world, who for countless reasons,
can not be trusted-jealous people should
Jealousy has been described by some
realize that everyone is not out to use or
as the cancer that erodes spirituality,
abuse them. At some point, you, the
self-esteem, confidence in other humans,
jealous person has to trust someone with
trust, and a host of other elements essen­
your feelings or walk the earth totally
tial to personal growth or health interac­
paranoid/defensive. Please, get a grip
tion in relationships. Jealousy can be un­
before you hurt someone. As for han­
justified, petty, unhealthy mentally, or
dling the jealous
even provoke
individual, my
u n e c e s s a ry
only
advice is to
The
mind
and
heart
work
in
very
mysterious
violence. We
be
patient.
Re­
all know of
ways when you consider that both can tell you
inforce
to
them
s itu a tio n s ,
how empty your life is, but on the other hand-
how much you
possibly in our
care about them
fam ilies or
tell you that rejection or heartbreak will come
and if push
those
of
sooner
or
later.
When
will
you
people
learn
to
comes to shove,
frie n d s
call the Portland
trust other people or their feelings?
(maybe in you
Police Bureau
own life?),
Sometimes, trusting people and your feelings
and get a peace
where
we
warrant Some
can be the very thing that gets people In
have
wit­
jealous people
nessed or been
trouble-that’s if those feelings are the jealous
just refuse to let
victimized by
ones.
go.
jealousy. It,
R e la tio n ­
coping with
jealousy, can be a highly painful and submit that seme people do not know ships are suppose to be based on honesty
that they are being controlled or manipu­ and trust. Two words that are over-used
most humiliating experience.
Jealousy is an unconscious or con­ lated. There are others who use you to in our vocabulary, but they are important
scious desire to experience or blame satisfy their own selfish needs. Even to the foundation of any relationship,be
others for pain. The mind and heart work parents, some of them, are at fault in the it family, intimate or professional. Per­
in very mysterious ways when you con­ ways that they raise their children. “ I sonally, when a relationship progresses
sider that both can tell you how empty want you to be successful, but not as suc­ to the point where I can not trust another
your life is, but on the other hand-tell you cessful as me “ is the covert attitude. Un­ individual, it is then time to seek other
that rejection or heartbreak will come knowingly, a youngster can have his or options. Leant to be, again, honest with
sooner or later. When will you people her growth stagnated and not realize it people about your innermost feelings. I
can only laugh at some of the elements
learn to trust other people or their feel- until later in life.
Noone is immuned to jealousy. Like that some use to provoke jealousy in me.
ings? Sometimes, trusting people and
your feelings can be the very thing that a vobra snake, it can strike at anytime or My jealousy was based on my own fears,
gets people in trouble-that’s if those feel­ anyplace. It can, again, happen at school, not how the other person was acting or
ings are the jealous ones. Trusting others on your job, in your family, or with your behaving. You can look as far as oneself
is essential if a relationship is going to best friends. Like a dark cloud, it just to learn how jealousy can be dealt with.
grow an develop. If people learn to con­ lurks and hangs there, waiting to rain on However, I would be lying if I suggested
trol their ego, it would be much easier to your parade. How do you overcome jeal­ that some people’s behavior patterns may
control the anger or behavior associated ous thoughts or handle jealous individu­ cause concern in others or create prob­
with jealousy. People get jealous for the als? First of all, jealous people should lems. This is totally different from jeal­
most stupid reasons. Things like another realize and accept the fact that they are ousy. People who trust others will make
man or woman looking at your mate with the real problem. They are the problem fewer mistakes than those who distrust
affection (in your eyes), a friend or fam­ because they inflict their fears and inse­ them.
•J
ily member obtaining a promotion or a curities on to others or implement into a
BY: ULLYSSES TUCKER, JR.
f
4. "All Season’ - Levert
Stop here ond compute your Adpsted
Income That's your total gross
monthly income, less federol withhold­
ing taxes Write your onswer here ond
move on
"III Give Ail My Love To You"
Keith Sweat
WE SPECIAL ORDER!
■ W rite the smaller omount o f
either spoce 3 or spoce 5 here. As o
general rule, that's the maximum
omount you con afford for o
monthly house payment (including
property taxes).
YOU
DID ITI •«-
num ber in space 6 is m ere then
$ 5 5 0 . then chances a re g o o d
_ _sTLs-
that HUD hos on I LHIUILMJUW
home for you. Your next move
is to co* your re a l«
an d $ H down!
Multiply your Ad|usted Income (from
space 2) by 0 38, then subtract $150 ond
wnte the answer here Then move on to
the next space
CHINOOK SALMON OR BROILED LOBSTER
TAILS JUMBO PRAWNS FISH & CHIPS CLAM
CHOWDER BROILED HALIBUT CRAB STUFFED
MUSHROOMS LOBSTER THERMIDOR OR PAN
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FRENCH FRIED SCALLOPS STEAM CLAMS
OYSTER STEW CHICKEN STEAKS O R -----
Add up oil your monthly debts (cor,
loan, ced it purchase, credit cord,
child support ond olimony payments
you owe every month) ond then
add $150 Fill in the total here
ond go to spoce 5
M ott of our HUD homes
i approved tar FHA
M o rtg ag e Insurance, which
mokes them more afford­
able then ever. Hus, HUD'S
bid process » easy.
For kttmgs of HUD homes
available now. look for our
big real estate classified ad
m every Sunday Oregonian.
HUI)*
ocmtmNEMT or mommo
ANO URBAN K V tL O M K N T
You're almost home Multiply
your Ad|usted Income (from
space 2) by 0 .5 3 , subtroct
the omount on spoce 4,
ond wnte the result here
N o w move along
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2 2 6 -4 1 7 1
........
R.IAS1 NOTI
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