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Page 6—The Portland Observer—November 7, 199(1
OPINION
1
DATING OUTSIDE YOUR SOCIAL CLASS
sion to date someone who has more for respective social scales. You’ll hear no
these people, but they see those who are fuss made-over someone who is lower-
on lower socio-economic level as not middle-class dating someone who is upper-
here are those amongst us who
would like to believe that there having the same values, the same expe­ upper-middle-class. The problem arises
are no social classes in American Soci­ riences, or the same views about life. As when the wealthy step outside of their
ety. That somehow social stratification one interviewee put it, “ My everyday realm and date someone who is very
is familiar only to Europeans who have life consists of planning for the future, poor. In this particular situation, it is the
made it an integral part of their lives traveling, meeting different people. How role of gender that will determine who
since the days of feudalism. But class is do I relate to someone who is just trying will sustain the most public denounce­
an important element in our society too. to make it on a daily basis without mak­ ment. If you are a male who is on the
W e simply choose to use euphemisms ing them feel uncomfortable because lower-end of the socio-economic ladder
like blue-collar and white-collar in de­ they don’t have the same things that I dating a woman who is “ above” you,
fining class. It is such an important part have or they haven’t experienced life as you will be seen as someone riding on
o f our lives that it acts as a determinant in fully as 1 have been able to. Likewise, the coat tails of a woman, or it will be
your business relationships, it serves as a how am I not suppose to feel a slight said that you don’t love her because men
guide to your religious denomination, it measure of guilt when I am around this are seen as providers and the bread­
can dictate who your friends will be, and person because 1 know that 1 have been winners in our society. A man in this
most importantly, who you will date, blessed with so many opportunities and type of relationship will always be seen
as an immoral person. But if the situation
who you won’t date, and who you will luxuries.”
were reversed and it was the woman who
For
some,
dating
on
a
lower-scale
eventually m any.
Most people do not consider dating could not be a consideration because was on the lower-end of the scale, it
outside o f their social class because their their families and friends would not al­ would be acceptable because she is trying
day-to-day lives revolve around people low it. If you are from a nice, upper- to belter herself. On the other hand, if the
who have similar backgrounds. Most of middle class family, how do you intro­ man were wealthy and the woman poor,
the people I know have middle-incomes, duce someone, who has never been to the assumption would be made that their
have college degrcesand work in a while- college, doesn’t own a 4-door, yuppie- relationship is based on a sexual attrac­
collar occupation. They also tend to type automobile, and parks cars for a tion. That he is simply using her as a
participate in middle-income activities living, to your family as your new boy­ mistress. Why? Because there is such a
like walcrskiing, golf, and so forth. friend? I think that it would be a difficult large gap between their two worlds, that
Therefore they are unlikely to engage in introduction because our families and it is perceived that they could not possi­
bly have anything in common, but sex.
a personal relationship outside of their friends want what is best for us.
As important as your socio-economic
A
person
who
doesn’t
have
much
is
class because their lives arc structured in
standing
in life is, it should not be the
such a way that they arc not allowed to going to evaluated on what they don’t
only
factor
working in your personal
meet anyone who significantly differs have regardless if they have solid, per­
relationships.
If you slide the magical
sonal
attributes.
Questions
like,
“
why
from themselves.
lever
up
and
down
the entire scale of life,
are
you
dating
him?,’
“
what
does
he
When I asked a few people that I
you’ll
not
only
meet
a larger variety of
have
to
offer
you?,”
are
bound
to
arise
know if they would ever consider dating
people,
but
you
will
realize that those
and
altitudes
like
these
will
make
it
hard
outside their social class, surprisingly,
you
once
considered
‘above’
you or ‘below
for
that
person
to
assimilate
easily
into
all of the interviewees said ‘yes’ on the
you,
are
not
much
different
than you
condition that they would have to be your class.
really
are.
Strangely
enough,
Americans
do
not
someone that they considered ‘above’
them socially and economically. Not only have a problem with the middle-class
does it seem like a consistent progres­ population dating up and down their
BYC.M.BROQKS
77Æ ÇOOV O ^LS
'
You’ve just about given up!
You’ve tried the dating scene: night clubs, bars, social lounges.
All the prospects just were not what you were looking for in a
permanent relationship.
Please send me more intormation ana a membership packet, i aon t want to let this
unique opportunity pass me by. I have enclosed $2.00 for shipping and handling.
Nam e:------------- ---------------------- ----------------- -------- Male------ Female-----
Address:
^certify that I’m 21 years of age or older, single, and African American.
Si g n atu re:
...And Justice For All
i
by Angelique Sanders
f ‘
9
;
f
<
i
te .
: Community Forum on Bigotry
and Hate Crimes
M cM urphy's
Wednesday, Nov. 14 at 7pm
:
: Mallory Ave. Church, 126 NE Alberta :
Buying Appliances
. Working or Not
•
•
•
•
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Z
The Tom Metzger trial has revealed the depths of hatred and die extremes cf violence that
white supremisists stand for. And the shocking fact is that Portland has recorded a 76%
increase in hate crimes in the past year and a half. Despite our victory in the Metzger trial
our quality of life and die future direction of Portland is still threatened by die growdi ol
Neo-Nazis and white supremisists in the Portland area. What can we do?
• sponsored by The Coalition for Human Dignity 232-2159
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288-3233
labor donated*
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L \v t¿
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How High of a Price Are We Paying
for Commercialism?
r’
;
suggested that we address the
issue of dating outside of ones
economic class, which by the way sounded
rather intriguing to say the least. W eb­
ster defines “ class” as a “ social stratum
whose members share similar economic,
political, and cultural characteristics or
the division of society into relative strata
or ranks.” Is dating outside of ones eco-
nomic/social class wrong or is it a per­
sonal choice?
When I lecture to youngsters around
the state of Oregon at various elemen-
tary/high schools, I always start each
presentation with a game called “ Let’s
Play Stereotyping." It is a game where I
ask each student to stereotype my up­
bringing, family background, and the
type of life that I’ve lived thus far. Some
of them label me as coming from a
resident of a wonderful house, or even as
the owner of a car at 16, and generally
speaking, most believed that I’ve lived a
“ cosby Family Existence.” No way. In
fact these students are shocked when
they learn that I grew up in poverty, on
welfare, and lost both parents before I
was fourteen. When they learn that I
dropped out in tenth grade, got kicked
out in the sixth grade, and scored less
than 500 on my SAT exam, they go into
shock. They can not believe it because I
seem like such a wonderful person. Iam,
but those are the conditions or circum­
stances in which I evolved under. People
have a tendency to judge others on first
impressions or by their attitude. If you
interact with others with the attitude or
disposition that you come from a de­
of being on television. The same women,
who would not give me the time of day as
a broke dormitory dweller, beat a path to
my apartment once I secured a position
as a producer/host on KPTV-12 just before
graduation in 1979. Even as recent as
two months ago, I met a woman (at a
party) and told her that I worked as a
trash truck driver and the tone of the
conversation changed dramatically af­
terwards. “ But you seem so intelligent,
articulate, and educated” , she said. “ I
read a great deal and I have a GED,” I
replied. Six weeks later, I ran into the
same woman at Lloyd Center and she
called me everything but the child of
God. She found out the truth, through a
mutual friend, that I was a writer/televi-
sion producer and all of a sudden I was
dating material. I refused her telephone
number, only to be called conceited and
stuck on myself. As a trash truck driver,
I was not an “ attractive catch” , but as a
television producer, it was a totally dif­
ferent story. Accept me as I am, not for
what you want or expect me to be. Sure,
I lied a little bit. Still, I received the cold
shoulder when I did not meet her expec­
tations.
In my opinion, dating outside of
ones social/economic class is overrated.
It doesn’t matter what a person has,
economically, or what they do for a
living. If they respect you, your values,
goals, dreams, morals, and intellectual
capacity, then all else shouldn’t matter.
All people have something to share and
offer, if they are given a chance. Class or
economics is a poor excuse to separate
oneself from others and it is ego based. A
blue collar can blend very well with a
white collar...
________ ___ _________— --------------------------------------
¡5
I
M
y writing partner, HER,recently
pressed urban jungle, then you will be
judged that way. Simply because a per­
son comes from the ghetto does not mean
that they have to assume those values.
There
social/ are plenty of people from the
ghetto from lower economic backgrounds
with terrific values and plenty of class.
By the same token, there are upper class
individuals who have no class or like
some lower class people are stereotyped.
The same principle applies to those indi­
viduals, who for some reason or another,
refuse to date or marry someone without
a college education. In this day and age
of economic/career competition, a col­
lege degree is very helpful, but it does
not make the total person. Again, there
are some educated fools in the world and
some very successful people who did not
attend college. Furthermore, there are
plenty of people (non-college graduates)
who make more money than some col­
lege graduates will ever earn.
Recently, a friend told me about a
situation she knew of, regarding dating
outside of your economic/social class,
and asked me my opinion. Her girlfriend
is really “ head over heels” with this
certain guy, but there is a problem. She is
a white collar/college professional and
he is a plumber. “ What do I tell my
parents” , she asked. The truth! Why she
has a problem with this , I do not Know.
Everybody cannot work for a Fortune
500, as a television anchor, lawyer, or
doctor, or CEO for a major corporation.
Even if they do get lucky and secure an
educational opportunity that leads to such
a position, that does not make them a
great mate. Money and status is not
everything. I can recall my days at the
University of Portland when I dreamed
African American Singles Network, P.O. Box 12514, Portland, OR 97212,
(503)293-7979
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:
BY: ULLYSSESTUCKER, JR.________
This week I wish to stray from
my usual governmental complaints and
address the topic of commercialism in
America.
Commercialism-stimuli aimed
at selling a product or concept-seem s to
be getting out of reason. Lately, I have
heard so many political commercials,
I’ve wanted to abstain from taking in
media in any form, even the radio. I find
the political commercials to be the most
disturbing form of commercialism, when
I consider that there arc many unin­
formed people that arc ready to instantly
make a judgement on a political issu e-
cspecially one they know little ab o u t-
based solely on an advertisement that
might promote an idea in such a way
that, whether the person is “ for” or
“ against” , he/she might be willing to
go along with it. My presumption that
many people are brainwashed this way
(and it seems that most people prefer to
not leave blank spaces on their ballot,
even with faced with the option of vot­
ing on a topic they have little informa­
tion on) must be accurate to an extent, or
the politicians and committees would
tong since have discontinued advertís
signs arc another both­
ersome way o f campaigning. I have
•ever seca a siga that stated anything
tangible abort the candidate, nor bill-
boards that give you a feel o f how the
politician stands on the issues Most
simply offer you a picture to identify
with and a name to remember. Some-
: . .
.
t ,
say that its target audience of the next
times bulletin boards are so frequent on
generation could glean a few good
the major streets, it’s hard to watch the
messages from it, if only subconsciously.
street signs.
I also would like to praise the
Television carries the objec­
Oregonian for doing a good job, espe­
tive of promoting itself and making
cially in the last six months or so, of
money, as any other business. This
giving minorities of all sorts equal cov­
often means using "gim m icks” , so to
speak, such as using sex or violence as a erage. I’ve also noticed a rash of under­
ground publications springing up lately,
means of getting you to watch. I’m sure
objecting to one injustice or another, as
many mature people watch television,
well as some above-ground not-for-profit
and are unswayed by this. However,
publications trying to keep on their feet.
I’m equally certain that many unformed
To the positive media out there, and
minds (and this is not limited to youth)
those involved in it, as well as those who
are captured by what they perceive to be
glamorized, such as smoking, drugs, pre­ try to watch or read it, I thank you on
behalf of all caring, concerned viewers/
marital sex, violence, etcetera.
readers. And, lastly, my advice to EV­
Often, commercialism takes
ERYONE (as no one is completely un­
over to an extent such that people who
touched my commercialism): be wary,
ignore the media arc still inundated with
a “ commercialized theme’ ’ of sorts: for and be aware. Things don’t always live
up to their claims, nor do people, and
example, I doubt there is a single reader
your best bet for staying “ safe” in a
out there who docs not know who Garfield
world of overpromotion and exploita­
and Bart Simpson arc. I find it likely
that more people watched the Hallow­ tion is to be informed.
*****
een television specials than the election
debates (I’m sure the Nielsen ratings This is from an old newspaper clipping,
which I believe came from the Portland
will back me up on this conjecture).
This is not to say that commer­ Free Press, and is great for a laugh at
cialism is always negative. My spirit commercialism: “ Most Americans don’t
seem to care if our government uses
(and my advertising dollars!) are with
those programs that are making an at­ tactics which have previously been re­
tempt in the right direction, with in­ served for only the most totalitarian re­
formed messages or positive role mod­ gimes on the face of the earth. Until the
National Security stale prevents Ameri­
els. I even must admit that I find “ The
Sim pson's” to be a lot deeper and more cans from shopping at K-Mart, watch­
ing Wheel of Fortune’, and driving
intelligent than the overcommercialized
image I had of iL I wouldn’t say I Chevrolcts, then and only then will the
masses put forth a whimper of protest.”
learned from it, but I would definitely
.
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