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September 5 , 1990- The Portland Observer Page 7
OPINION
99?
The "Hers” side of the His/Hers Opinion Page has been
temporarily suspended while the Observer seeks a new writer
...And Justice For All
by Angelique Sanders
4
9
medical care, guaranteed to every c iti­
Is our governm ent providing
time, gives benefits and breaks to the
zen in need), but the United States does
for us properly?
rich and shuns the downtrodden.
not even try. “ Radical idealism ” , the
I feel that the status quo of
O ur way of life seems shaky
political leaders dub it, and are afraid of
politics needs some alterations, but I ’m
when I see homeless children huddling
being tagged radicals. Is it that they arc
qucstioning-Bush’s success over Jackson
against the cold. Many of those at the
afraid o f raising people’s hopes, then in­
seems to affirm th is-w h eth er American
hypothetical “ bottom ” have in-bred
advertently dashing them to the ground
citizens ARE dissatisfied (or perhaps
hostility tow ards society in general due
in the event the proposed change doesn’ t
we’re afraid o f change).
to the variety o f reasons they’ve ended
work? O r are they truly of, by,
W hat price are we
and for the people, yet our citi­
paying for our A merican life­
•
/u u v u
» • D iy a r b c k ir *,
zens don’t truly seek change?
styles o f freedom: should we
c n M IN O R ->Shahn
M ore people on “ the upper
\/T a b riz
fear any governm ental struc­
-T® (7Ras Ain
rungs”
vote; obviously, those
ture? I feel let down by what
L. U rm ia
" ;A lc p p o M ‘
who aren’t having trouble with
our governm ent fails to pro­
umaniya
the system don ’ t generally opt to
vide. Do you, as an American
<»k
e H am a
change it.
S Y R IA
•
citizen, want:
B a k h ta ra n
Incorporating the realism of each
a com prehensive health plan?
...a •
o f my proposed benefits cost­
la n ia sc u
A w elfare plan that provides
ing—you guessed it, taxpayers’
yet does not overprovide (how
B u sra
Baghdad
»
d o llars-w o u ld n ’t it be worth it?
about a w elfare-w ork program
Isfal I would like to see a guaranteed
that w ould not interfere with
/
medical plan with my hard-earned
rak ' K a f
the A m erican paid labor force,
A sS
S Y R IA !
money more than I would appre­
with recipients earning their
, K ~ D G SER
ciate
seeing us at war with Iraq...
welfare by accom plishing such
•laqia(O asls) »
r
*****
?
/
•
T
j
a
u
f
tasks as collecting litter or plant­
. Ü'
My item this week is simply a
ing gardens for the hom eless in
ba
.
J u l,|,a J u n ia im a
com
plaint I have with the m an­
.vacant govem m entally-ow ned
•n.t
I n if ll c l
~
m c iit ü a i
ager
at L loyd’s cinemas. Last
property? Persons with dis­
I'm
sure
we
all
understand
why
the
U.S.
Thursday,
I w ent to see Ghost
abilities could supervise for their
(which,
by
the way, is worth
is
in
Iraq.
pay.)?
seeing
for
more
reasons than
a com prehensive plan for the
W
hoopi
G
oldberg’s
absolutely
homeless, focused on finding
flawless
perform
ance);
and,
at the on­
up
where
they
are,
unable
to
pull
them
­
them perm anent jobs and shelters rather
slaught
o
f
a
crucial
scene,
the
film pro­
selves
up.
W
hat
happens
to
the
hom
e­
than tem porary? I’m seeing som e ef­
jector
experienced
difficulties.
I can
less
person
with
no
decent
clothing,
forts in this direction, such as Section 8
understand
this
type
o
f
problem
occur­
unable
to
bathe
or
groom
,
when
he/she
as well as various job program s, but our
ring from time to time; but, first of all,
looks for a job? I believe M cD onald’s
homeless count is still trem endous...this
they did not rewind the film (and, as it
would even turn the person out.
problem should be a tax priority,
was the last showing o f the evening, it
Perhaps it’s true that we c a n ’t
a more comprehensive, govemmentally-
would not have interfered with time) nor
all have pink houses, but the American
funded em ploym ent program?
did the m anager apologize to the audi­
governm ent DOES have room to im ­
It seems unfair that persons can
ence in any way. This show of disre­
prove. O ther political systems try and
be “ gypped” by our American system,
spect towards the consumers makes me
often succeed at com prehensive benefit
stepped on by others hustling to clim b
think twice about where to take my busi­
plans
(take
Sw
eden’s
country-wide
“ the ladder” . There is certainly som e­
ness in the future.
thing w rong with a system that, at tax
No One Should Tolerate
Emotional/Physical Abuse
BY ULLYSSES TUCKER^ JR._______
ast night I heard the scream­
ing, loud voices behind the
wall. Another sleepless
night for me. It w on’t do
no good to call the police.
Always come late if they
come at all and when they arrive, they
say they can’t interfere with domestic
affairs between a man and his wife...and
as they walk out the door, the tears well
up in her eyes. Last night I heard the
screaming, then a silence thatchilled my
soul. I prayed that I was dreaming when
I saw the am bulance in the road...and the
policeman said, “ I’m here to keep the
peace, will the crowd disperse-I think we
could all use some sleep.”
-Tracy Chapman, Fast Car 1988,
“ Behind The W alls”
The song made popular by record­
ing artist Tracy Chapm an is a sad, very
sad commentary about a problem that
exists in our country, state, neighbor­
hood, and in many families. Domestic
violence is a very serious problem and in
my opinion, No one should have to toler­
ate physical violence from anyone. It is
immoral, inhumane, and wrong to physi­
cally abuse another person. B eit psycho­
logical, emotional, or physical abuse, no
one should have to be subjected to this
type of behavior. G ood or bad, our par­
ents have a tremendous effect on our
attitudes, behavior patterns, values, be­
liefs, and actions. How each o f us as
people express our love or hate in rela­
tionships is a direct reflection o f what
was established or instilled in us long
ago. The influence of parents on off­
springs is particularly strong in a society
like the one we live in where extended
families, close neighborhoods, rituals,
which once dom inated impact, have
broken down or disappeared. Growing
up in an isolated environment or family,
apart from a larger kinship/support net­
work, docs not provide enough space
from parents or variety o f healthy role
models to learn positive behavior, rela­
tionships between parents and children
seem to be either too close or too distant,
both cause communication problems in
future relationships or possible even
m otivate an individual to not be like
their parents.
Like many readers, I grew up in a
household where fighting or violence
was as common as the roaches and ro­
dents that stalked the neighborhood.
Though painful to adm it, my mother blaming, making put-downs, breaking
fought with my father and boyfriends. promises, fault-finding, nam e calling,
She was a very physical individual, who giving double messages, making demands
did not tolerate abuse from anyone. It’s that are highly unreasonable, creating
possible that her attitude or frustration tension or extended periods o f silence,
developed from raising seven children invading privacy, and a host o f other
almost alone, o r from dreams or goals negatives that do not promote positive/
never realized. I will never know the healthy interaction in relationships.
A relationship or marriage should
reason because my mother is no longer
living. I can recall several incidents as a be established or built on open, honest,
and h e a lth y
child, where my
c o m m u n ic a ­
mother was the
In addition to physical
tions. In many
target o f many
abuse, there is also psy­
ways, people
jokes by other chil­
chological and emotional
endure these
dren in the neigh­
types o f rela­
abuse. This type of abuse
borhood, There
tionships b e­
seemed to always
includes criticizing, blam­
cause it allow s
be some domestic
ing, making put-downs,
them to avoid
violence in our
breaking promises, fault­
in tim a c y . If
apartm ent or just
finding, name calling, giv­
someone is with
outside o f it. On
a person w ho is
the other hand,
ing double messages,
not emotionally
fighting between
making demands that are
available for
mates was most
highly unreasonable, creat­
them, there is
common in the
ing tension or extended
little risk o f be­
housing projects I
periods of silence, invading
coming vulner­
lived in, and an
able, rejected,
every day part of
privacy, and a host of other
abandoned, or
life.
negatives that do not pro­
too attached.
U n f o r t u>
mote posltive/healthy Inter­
Still, the rela­
nately, many chil­
action in relationships.
tionship is not
dren grow up
a healthy one
th in k in g
th at
and needs some
domestic violence
serio u s
re-
is a natural part of
life and develop a high level o f tolerance evaluation.
Before considering a relationship
towards it because it seems so normal.
As a result of this tolerance or accep­ with someone, check out their history,
tance, many people grow up with the at­ get a good feel for their attitude towards
titude that they can abuse their mate or men or women. Find out what past expe­
ultimately accept abuse from their mate. riences influence current behavior, check
No one should tolerate abuse. Some people out the dynamics ofthe family that you
accept or tolerate abuse because they have in common or do not have in com ­
watched a parent inflict or endure abuse. mon, and which shame-based family rules
They perceive the behavior as normal, dominate each o f your families interac­
which is dysfunctional and a person with tion. These are all important elements
this perception should talk to their pastor that will determ ine how much growth
will come in your relationship. Do not be
or consult a professional for help.
As aresult o f growing up in a violent blinded by the romance, wine and din­
household that left em otional scars, that ing, etc...find out who you are really
have since healed, I now know what type going to spend time with before you
o f household I do not want to be a part of regret it later on. By the same token,
in the future. More importantly, I learned when you m eet someone who has been
that my parents were not great models, through emotional and physical trauma,
and to repeat the mistakes they made try being sensitive, supportive, a good
would only contribute to another genera­ listener, and understanding. Patience is
tion of domestic violence. Someone had very important.
In closing, learn to understand how
to break the cycle. Thank God for educa­
tion, finding healthy models, and m atur­ your family history has impacted your
current attitudes and beliefs, only then
ity.
In addition to physical abuse, there will you be able to see where you are
is also psychological and emotional abuse. today. You are what you were when...
This type o f abuse includes criticizing,
The Portland Observer is seeking a female to write the “ Hers” viewpoint in the
popular column “His/Hers Opinion” published weekly in this paper. Individual
should be creative, intelligent, committed, black, and an excellent writer. This
person should also be able to meet publication deadlines. Please drop off samples at
4747 N.E. M artin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. No telephone calls, please. A freelance fee
will be discussed should you be the one selected.
October 3,1990 will be a m om en­
tous occasion for The Portland O b­
server. We will be celebrating 20 years
as a publication, and also , w e will be
featuring our annual women and mi-
•' business special.
y appreciate your support
and as ? u«ren of our appreciation, we
are veerin g special discounts for our
long time supporters who reserve space
for our women and minority business
special edition.
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