May 23, 1990 The Portland Observer Page 3 N ews A round T own Are You Ready For Commitment In Your Life? T h is W eek in H istory by Ullysses Tucker, Jr. There comes a time, hopefully, where a human being desires or w ants com ­ m itment from another in their life. W hen you reflect on it for a moment, most individuals fall in love with som e­ one that they do not know very well. Although we may not find out all that we desire to know about the individual we fall in love with, there are some fundamental issues that need to be addressed or discussed before making a com m itm ent to another person. " I f I had only known beforehand about him / her, I w ouldn’t have gotten in v o lv e d .. .” Do you rem em ber those famous last words? First of all, what does com m itm ent mean to you? All human beings seem to have conflicting perspectives or ex­ pectations regarding com m itm ent whether it is to be single, married, free, or committed, it is an individual choice or lifestyle statement. You can not make another person want a com m it­ ment just because you w ant one. You must be on the same page. Com m it­ ment may not necessarily be for every­ one despite the fact that it seem s like most humans are constantly in search for Mr. or Mrs. Right ( another illu­ sion). Commitment, or lack o f it, inspires great fear in most people, Some ex ­ perts say that this fear is valid and rational. Obviously, marriage com m it­ ments can be used to repress people, and to restrict freedom, growth and self-expression. Some assert that m o­ nogamy is monotony nad contrary to human behavior. Commitment, at worst, means that an individual gives up what is important to them in an effort to keep another person in their life or around. The fear of com m itm ent in relation­ ships can be directly related to making Tiring of the Fight for Equality? Do you ever ju st get tired o f co n ­ stantly fighting for equality? Does it ever seem like, “ if I could just live a day to my full potential, without the hands o f society pushing me down, its eyes looking on me with contem pt” ? A day o ff would be nice. Remind yourself that every day, in every small way that you fight inequal­ ity, brings us all one day and one step closer to perm anent “ days off* . W e have to change the world one person at a time. W e’ve got a lot o f racism and repres­ sion to fight off...but you aren’t alone in the battle. Every day a M artin L uther is born. It might be you. W e’re fighting together. S o hold your head high... we ’ ve got a long way to go, yet w e’ve com e a long way. Here are some minority struggles for May 23-29. M ay 2 7 ,1956-The Louisiana House of Representatives votes unanimously that the Supreme C ourt’s public school seg­ regation law is unconstitutional. Sam e day-T he Tallahassee bus boy­ cott--which lasted until March o f 1958— begins. M ay 25, 1964-The Supreme Court ordered Virginia’s Prince Edward County to re-open and integrate its public schools. In 1951, controversy began, regarding whether or not the Prince Edward County schools should be segregated. In 1959, the county refused to fund the schools, and the schools were shut down. In 1959, a foundation, funded by state and county grants, set up private schools for white children. In fact, 25% o f the local taxes w ent to these tem po­ rarily legal, discrim inatory, state-en­ couraged schools. A proposal for sim i­ larly-funded Black schools was rejected. It took years for action against this: in 1961, the U.S. District C ourt blocked governm ental funding for such schools. Still, African Am erican children had no funding for schooling until enough pri­ vate contributions provided them with schooling in 1963. M ay 26, 1964-The Oregonian runs a series o f articles on the plight o f the Am erican Indian in O regon schools. Staff w riter Blaine Schulz reported that Indian children are generally one year behind in schooling, due m ostly to the bi-lingual barrier they confront when entering school, as well as repressed interest in education due to poverty living conditions (resulting in more parental em phasis on the home status, as well as difficulty in transportation, and parents’ need for the child to help out at home). However, in the Umatilla Reserva­ tion near Pendleton, em phasis is on education, and Indian students excel beyond w hite students. M ay 2 3 , 1966-Julian Bond, a 26-year- old African A merican who had already been twice turned down to represent the 136th district in Atlanta, is voted down 21-0. Bond vowed to continue his fight. Officials claim Bond was denied be­ cause o f his view that he adm ires the courage o f anyone who would bum a m ilitary draft card. “ I believe in acting within the dic­ tates of my conscience,” stated Bond. “ There are some things I’m prepared to do that I don’t require o f others. If I break a law I am willing to suffer the consequences.” Sam e day-H ubert Humphrey, in a val­ iant plea for the civil rights movem ent, makes a speech endorsing his opinion. “ Laws, how ever skillfully drafted and im plem ented, constitute only the beginning o f the process of construct­ ing a total environm ent o f freedom and equality...they cannot wipe aw ay cen­ turies o f oppression and injustice, how ­ ever much we m ight desire i t “ O ur task now is to m ove beyond equality in law to equality in fact.” * * * * * 1 also w anted to include a quote from Jam es Baldwin from “ A D ialogue” with Nikki Giovanni: "You know, it’s not the world that was my oppressor, because what the world does to you, i f the world does it to you long enough and effectively enough, you begin to do to yourself. You be­ come a collaborator, an accomplice o f your own murderers, because you be­ lieve the same things they do. They think it's important to be white and you think it's important to be white; they think it's a shame to be black and you think it's a shame to be black." a mistake or selecting the wrong per­ son. People are afraid to fail, be it in re­ lationships, life, or in their career. At best, making a com m itm ent can build trust and make a relationship far more focused. Any relationship is only as good or strong as the com m itm ent tw o people make. Some people lose site of com ­ m itment during m oments o f despair, doubt, times o f confusion, and pain. Commitments are made to endure the good and bad times. Com m itm ent is consciously offering another human a special place in your life and hearL A com m itm ent is your word or set of guidelines you (collectively) establish in the relationship-elem ents like hon­ esty, sexual fidelity, and the w illing­ ness to be supportive emotionally/psy- chologically. C om m itm ent is not like some fly-by-night attitude, it has to be practiced and lived everyday. Com m itm ent can be a very tough topic to talk about because o f people’s fear o f abandonm ent and entrapment. Com m itm ent w ill not put an end to those doubts/fears and neither will it put an end to your attraction to other human beings. However, commitment in a relationship can create a sense of security and intimacy lacking in casual encounters. Even though there are many positive elem ents in making a com m it­ ment, there is nothing abnormal about a person if freedom supercedes com m it­ ment. So, does it mean that you will live happily ever after just because you de­ c k e d to make a com m itm ent? No. A c­ tually, that’s when all the hard work and hopefully the growth begins. Anything worth having is worth w ork­ ing for. Lastly, many o f the troubles and tension that evolve in relationships usually are a result o f unresolved em o­ tional or psychological issues. Som e­ times, how we were raised by our fam i­ lies can affect attitudes and perception about how relationships are or are not. In my opinion, having a serious or com m itted relationship can only work if two people have their priorities in o r­ der. Everything else, including your friends and family, should com e after­ wards. Some may argue, but if you are not willing to put your mate before your work and family, you are asking for trouble and conflict. At tim es, families can be your w orst enemy and cause problem s in a relationship. W hat was good for your parents o r other family mem bers may not be good for you and your mate. You can pick your friends or m ate, but you can ’t pick your rela­ tives . . . Love is not bestowed upon us with a magic wand or from C upid’s arrow . A loving relationship is a m atter o f co n ­ scious in te n t It is im possible to make som eone love you. Your com m itm ent to your relationship or w illingneess to have it serve both o f you is not a one time event. Com m itm ent happens one day at a time. For this reason alone, com m itm ent is better offered than demanded. C ommunity C alendar Starting Your Business “ Starting Your Business” will be presented W ednesday, May 23, from 8:30-noon at the Newberg Cham­ ber o f Commerce. In this workshop, topics include ownership skills, fi­ nancing, accounting and m arketing- essentials of going into business. C ost is $7.50 for Cham ber m em ­ bers and $10 for non-members. To register and for information, call Small Business Development Center at 273- 2828. V ernon C om m . M eeting The Vernon Community Asso­ ciation is sponsoring a neighborhood meeting on Thursday, May 24 from 7XX) to 9:00 pm . in the Vernon School Auditorium, 2044 N £ . Killingsworth S l Vemon residents who w ant to know what can be done about drugs, gangs and violence, to make Vernon a safe and cleaner neighborhood should attend this meeting. Speakers include: Art Richardson, Outreach W orker, Youth Gang Proj­ ect; Jess McKinley, Crime Preven- tion Specialist, N ortheast Coalition of Neighborhoods; Mardell Taylor, U r­ ban League o f Portland; Jennie Portis, Livability Coordinator, Northeast C oa­ lition of Neighborhoods; Rev. B.E. Johnson, New Hope Community Church of God in Christ, Paul Brown, Sport Quickness Camp. For more information, call 248-4575. People Are Beautiful Summer Camp Children and youth between the ages of 4 and 13, living in N/NE Portland arc encouraged to “ celebrate friendship” with self, family, friends, community and the world during six weeks this summer, June 25-A ugust 2 at the M al­ lory Avenue Christian Church, 126 NE A lberta S l Fee is $30.00 per child, scholarsh ips are availalbe but lim ited—fee due at registration, which begins M a y 7 ,1990. First come, first served. For more in­ formation call Rev. Denise Bell, 288- 5173. Reggae Sunsplash Show M oved Reggae Sunsplash ’90 concert, origi­ nally scheduled at the Masonic Temple, has been moved to the Schnitzer Concert Hall, Portland. The show tim e has also been changed from 8:00 to 7:30. Tickets are $17.50 (not in­ cluding service charge). Tickets avail­ able at all Fred M eyer FASTIXX outlets, Everybody’s Ticket Centers, the Coliseum and Portland Center for the Performing Arts box office. Fore more ticket information, call 224- TIXX. Accoustical Guitar Concert G uitarist Dan Perz with Clipper Anderson on bass will be performing an all acoustic concert o f original music, Celebrity Centre Portland, 709 SW Salm on, 8-9 p.m. on M onday, May 23. For further inform ation, contact Dan Perz at 643-5190. Consum er Awareness Event Offered Saturday, June 2 Portland V egetari­ ans and People for Animal Rights, in cooperation with the Cruelty-Free Life­ style Newsletter, arc presenting the “ We C are” C onsum er Fair, 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. at the Old Church, 1422 SW 11th dow ntow n Portland. Caring consum ers can sample and purchase products w hicha re non-toxic, biodegradable and not cruelly tested on anim als. Cosm etics, hair and skin care items, household cleaners and pet care products will be displayed. Speakers will present information all day, plus free beauty “ m ake-overs” and door prizes. Admission is free. Shriners of Oregon Gala Day The Prince Hall Shriners o f O re­ gon, Mina Temple #68 will host the Region VII Joint G ala Day Confer­ ence, May 24027, Red Lion Inn, C o­ lum bia River. The public is invited to attend the parade and the events: Public Program, Speaker Charles Jor­ dan; Talent Pageant a Disco; the Parade and the Gala Day Ball. ________________ > V______ .___________ Menswear Retailer Donates Old Suits To Homeless The rising number of homeless people in A m erica and the Northwest is a fact that m ost of us encounter everyday. A local retailer is working to help hom e­ less men in a unique way. Sizes Unlim ited, a Pordand-based seller o f big and tall m enswear, is en ­ couraging its custom ers to bring in their old, dry-cleaned suits for a $20 in-store credit on the purchase o f a new suit or sportcoat. The suits are then donated to Baloney Joe’s, which provides the suits to hom eless men. These men arc then better prepared for job interviews, which can lead to employm ent. “ This is one way that Sizes U nlim ­ ited can help others in need,” Sizes U n­ lim ited's Jim G reenblatt said. “ As a part o f the business com m unity, wc can help in several ways, but we chose this route because it gets more people in­ volved. People who otherwise would not know how to help now have an easy painles way to assist someone in need,’ ’ G reenblatt said. WANT TO HELP IN THE FIGHT AGAINST AIDS, SPONSOR AN AIDS INFORMATION HOUSE PARTY! VOA Seeks Volunteers For Seniors Program Volunteers o f America O regon, Inc. (VOA), is urgently seeking volunteer drivers to transport senior citizens to and from appointments. Volunteers may use the agency’s vans or drive their own vehicles. Inter­ ested persons should be available be­ tween 8 am and 5 pm weekdays for one or more days per month. Full days are preferred but any number of hours arc appreciated. In addition, each volunteer must have a valid Oregon driver’s license, a good driving record, and concern for senior citizens. VOA will train volunteers and pro­ vide supplem ental insurance and m ile­ age reim bursem ent for those using their GMC INTERIORS Specializing * YOU JUST IN V ITE 10 PEOPLE THAT YOU CARE ABOUT. * OMAC WILL PROVIDE A COMMUNITY WORKER TO GIVE AIDS INFORMATION AND ANSWER QUESTIONS. * REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED BY OMAC. In Custom Window Fashions And Flooring Designer Fabrics - Mini & Vertical Blinds - Pleated Shades - Cabin Crafts Carpets Congoleum Floors 2401 N.E. M .L.K ., Jr. Blvd. Portland, OR 97212 Call: (503) 281-0885 ow n vehicles. Volunteers o f America is a non­ profit social service agency which operates a variety o f programs serving Hours: 9:00 am - 5:00 pm Mon- Fri 10:00 am - 2:00 pm Saturday or by appointment people o f all ages. For more information, please cal, Dclanie or Roy at 232-4117. Free estimates in your home Reflecting Cojpm unity Pride BUT YOUR TIME IS LIMITED? FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO SIGN-UP AS A HOST CALL OMAC. AN OPPORTUNITY TO SPEND TIME WITH F R IE N D S .. .AND GIVE THEM OREGON MINORITY AIDS COALITION 1336 E Burnside Portlind, OR 97214 (503) 234-1541