10
THE MORNING OREGONIAN, FRIDAY, APRIL. 9, 1920
ISTABLISHKO BY HKNRY I PITTOCK.
Published by The Oregonlan Publishing Co..
135 Sixth Street, Portland. Oregon.
C. A. MORDEN. E. B. PIPER.
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later go to college at their own ex
pense. But they are the exceptional
ones. In practice it has proved
perilous to break the continuity oi
the education scheme to say noth
ing of the circumstance that the
years of youth are precious years of
receptivity, and ought, not to be im
molated on the altar of any sort of
mere money compensation.
It is realized that the high cost
of living also accentuates parental
temptation. Family income needs
reinforcement in every practical way.
Vet the parental instinct is after all
the instinct of sacrifice to the com
ing generation now as it always has
been and it needs only to be estab
lished that education pays to van
quish this apparent obstacle. No
exceptional acumen is, needed to as
semble the data necessary in reach
ing a sound conclusion. The vacil
lating parent need only look at a
list of those who are finding it hard
to get jobs. There is till a dearth
of trained workers. The jobless are
chiefly the victims of early unfor
tunate decisions..
NOT ALONE.
The Oregonlan is airily asked by a
flippant correspondent how it likes
the news from Michigan? About as
little as it liked the news from Cali
fornia, when it was disclosed that
Senator Johnson had, through his
arrogant political machine, disfran
chised a great party, stolen its name,
maligned its candidate, misrepre
ecnted its principles andset up a little
political oligarchy of its own. About
as little, too, as it likes the absurd
and empty contention of this John
Sonite, who pretends that the league
cf nations nullifies the constitution
f the United States. In no par
ticular does it, or can it, set aside
the constitution. It would not avail
If it undertook to do it. Neither
Wilson, nor congress, nor both of
them together, can, through any
league, or treaty, or in any way
change a single syllable of that su
preme document without the con
eent of three-fourths of the states.
Why offer an assumption or make
an assertion so easily shown to be
tvaseless? Yet from Johnson and his
Infatuated followers we have heard
a lot about a super-government
through the league. They are trying
to frighten the people with a highly
ballooned bogey. They are not at all
Tightened themselves. .
Johnson is a radical who stands
lor such socialistic schemes as public
ownership of railroads. Or doesn't
" he stand for them? It is reported
that he has recanted. We should
like to know. If he has traversed
himself, it will be because it is not
popular. Johnson will not commit
the error of unpopularity if he can
Jaelp It. No politician does.
A. league of nations involves the
United States in no entangling alii
a rices. What is an entangling alii
ance? It is an alliance which in
volves us with the affairs of another
Cation or group of nations, proiuot-
. lng their mutual interests by ag-
- gressions, or otherwise, against any
other group. A league of nations,
such as is now proposed, discrimi
nates against no nation which is
willing to qualify by subscribing to
Its obligations, which are chiefly to
promote the peace and welfare of
the world by common action. It is
aimed at no one nation except as it
Is aimed at all nations.
An alliance and an entangling
alliance are not the same thing. If
we are to have the isolation of our
torefathers, let us take up every
ocean cable, withdraw fast-moving
steamships from the seas, supplant
them with the slower sailing ships,
drop all our great plans for a vast
merchant marine, suspend our arbi
tration treaties, build a wall at our
borders, go back to the conditions
Of a century ago, and go it alone.
But can we go it alone, even then?
;'Vfe cannot, for we are not alone.
. There are others in the world and it
does not alter the facts to attempt
'to ignore their existence or their
'common rights to live, develop and
prosper, or our duty to agree that
'they have such rights.
books? It Is hard to tell. There
is a story on the rounds that Henry
Ford recently called on the editor
of hts magazine for a report on how
things were going. "What we need,"
said the editor, as the New York
Tribune reports the incident, "is
some good live fiction." "Why not,"
suggested Ford, "get some of the
bright young men on the magazine
to write fiction?"
"It is not feasible," said the editor.
"Fiction's a highly gpeclallzed product.
Nobody on our magazine has the complete
equipment to turn out successful fiction."
"Ah. but that's where efficiency comes
In." interrupts! Ford, triumphantly. "Get
one of the yous -men to think up an Idea.
Then let another outline the general
structure. A third can do the descrip
tions and another one the dialogue. And
there you are you're the editor you as
semble it." -
We will confess that the tale itself
has some of the ear-marks of fic
tion. But it may not be such a mad
scheme after all. It would include,
of course, due provision for an eje
Dert to weigh public demand a
function now imperfectly performed
decisive conflict between the two op
posing principles of autocracy and
democracy impended. Little doubt
would have been entertained as to
the place which this nation should
take, and its policy should have been
shaped accordingly.- Its influence
could have been used to restrain the
allies from making treaties parceling
out territory contrary to their gen
eral principles. - Naval construction
would then have been concentrated
on those types of ship which, could
combat the submarine, great bodies
of citizens would have "been trained
and arms and munitions accumulat
ed. The first attack on our rights
at sea would have caused a declara
tion of war. Probably the war would
have been shortened, by two years,
and millions of lives and billions of
dollars would have been saved.
What might have been done in the
recent past should be a guide to w-hat
should be done in the present. The
league of nations has been formed,
but it includes big nations exhausted
by war and small nations which can-
BY-PRODICTS OF THE TIMES
Those Who Ccme and Go.
Sons of Oregon Divine Brinar to Paaa
What Father Thought Sacrilege.
The Albanv Herald ia resnonsible
for this bit of history: ,Anyne win admit tha
. , . wind blows strong enough
About 30 vears asro there was at I . . .
- seea out oi toe grouna u ia
noseourg a young scnooi teacner. un , blow. This has occurred not once,
day he and his wife were entertain-j nor twice, but three times in the
ing the bishop of the church denom- northern part of Sherman county d'ir
iT,ti r ,i,;v. . v. v, ing past months, according to R J.
, ........... n. n. J a n .. - Vl rx ( N
when a
to blow
is some
The visit of the noted divine was con
it the V,rlrina fmm MArA VaI even
siderable of an event in the some- the oldest inhabitant can remember
what limited "housekeeping experience when there has been so much wind
of the young people and if the truth nor such strong winds as have been
were, known both of them were vers sweeping that zone the past winter,
likely considerably embarrassed and I Three times the seed has been blown
. from the ground and it cost one
somewhat nervous. farmer ,1400 every ttme ne ad to
At the evening meal the young host j seej his place. The wind blows and
FOLICEMEN AND THE PCBUC;
A policeman's lot is not an easy
one. He is the guardian of the pub
lic peace and the symbol of public
order. He is nobody's friend, and
nobody's enemy, but he is the friend
of law and the enemy of lawless
ness. Not every policeman sees the
distinction. Some of them fail to
understand that it Is their duty to
serve the public, and all of it, and
not merely to command or boss the
people. The policeman's club Is just
as much the emblem of his authority
as it is his weapom of compulsion or
defense. It is mainly for show; rare
ly for use. Not every policeman un
derstands that, either.
The Cason boy was doubtless un
ruly, quarrelsome, hot-headed, vio
lent. Yet he was but a boy. Those
policemen had as much a duty to
protect him from himself ..as to de
fend others from him. About all
hey could think of was to rush him
off to jail and lock him up. He de
served to be locked up, no doubt,
but nothing more. Why will not a
police officer exercise suit-restraint,
firmness, coolness, determination,
without brutality, haste, bad temper?
It should mean nothing to a police
man that an intoxicated youth calls
him names nothing that need ex
cite or anger him. His office Is to
control, not punish; to pacify, not to
take revenge; to arrest,, not to
beat up.
A policeman is of course a human
being, but he should school himself
into the belief that he is something
more. It is hard to do, but it should
be done. No one can be a good
policeman who is anxious to adver
tise it, or who wears his feelings on
his sleeve.
hu- th roaftprtt for rjublishing houses
and it ought by all means to take ; not stand alone, while outside of it
account of the relation between , are menaces to peace in the shape of
human interest and the cost of prim
paper. There are nearly infinite
possibilities in the way of efficiency
and economy. A single Garvice,
with genius for knowing what people
want, ought to Jtte able to keep an
army of literary" craftsmen working
overtime. There is dearth at pres
ent, judging by the spring output, of
both publishers and authors who
have the Garvice Instinct. :
HK.H MONET WAGES.
High money wages, as tfle New
York Sun sapiently observes, are be
ginning to intensify an old problem
for parents. The problem is not- al
together one of discipline, but partly
of moral resistance to temptations
Bet before parents themselves. Thers
Js a crisis in the life of nearly every
boy, associated with restless desire
for adventure, for change of any
i-kind, a time when he wants to get
out of school and go to work. The
fact that some schoolmate happens
to be getting a man's wages for the
half-baked efforts of an immature
cub makes the pragmatic argument
.all the harder to resist. Twenty-fivs
or thirty years ago, when boys were
1 expected to "begin at the" bottom
and work up" in any Industry, it was
. not so hard to persuade them to
'tay in school until they had ab
eorbed the rudiments of classroom
education. It is different nowadays
Nevertheless, it ought to be made
as plain as possible that there never
was a time in the history of the
- -world when education counted for
as much as it does now. The money
measure of wages was never more
deceptive. Fifteen dollars a week
" -may look big to a callow youngster
Jits father probably would have con
Bidered himself lucky to get four foi
doing odd jobs in vacation time
but it is far less than four dollars
" used to be, when measured by the
relatively increased demand on every
Bide for trained men, "men disci
plined in their minds as well as
- strong in their backs," and ,who
- 'have the know and not merely the
knack." The trouble about absurdly
. excessive wages for boys is "that they
represent an unhealthy effort to fill
the gaps left by outgoing unskilled
-workers with material that is far
too good for the purpose, and that
they take no account of the future.
No youth possessing a promising
. mind can afford to leave school per-
. manently merely because he Has an
- offer of wages that would have
-(eemei princely in grandfather's
. time.
Nor will those versed in practical
, 'affairs permit themselves to be per
suaded too easily that William or
John, as the case may be, is only
temporarily abandoning the ambi
tious plans originally made for his
schooling. It is true that some boys
." II do quit school early, save money and
AMERICA AS A SHiri'ING NATION.
How much closer will be the in
tercourse hereafter between the
United States and the rest of the
world is indicated by the sure iros
pect that by the end of 1920 the
tonnage of the American merchant
marine will almost equal that - of
Great Britain. According to a "book
on "America's Merchant Marine,"
published by the Rankers' Trust
company of New York, on June 30,
1919, American merchant shipping
was 12,907,300 gross tons, of which
6,669,726 tons were in foreign trade,
as compared with only 1,976.152
tons so employed on June 30, 1914.
Ships since completed and to.be com
pleted, almost all of which are for
ocean traffic, will increase this total
to more than 12,000,000 tons and the
grand total to about 18,000,000 tons.
The British total, including the
dominions, on June 30, 1914, was
20,524,000. gross tons, but war and
marine losses, after allowing for new
construction, had reduced this to
18,208,000 tons on June 30, 1919. All
British shipyards are occupied in
adding new tonnage, which should
enable the empire to hold Its lead at
the close of this year, but the United
States will be a close second. Hav
ing lost all its ships except a part
of those under 1600 tons, Germany,
which formerly held second place, is
now out of the race, and no other
nation will even approach the two
leaders.
This revolution in the shipping
business means that the American
and British nations between them
will do two-thirds of the carrying
trade of the world and will be close
competitors for the world's commerce.
It means that the United States will
be In close, constant commercial in
tercourse with every nation, which
should bind us in friendship and
common interest with many of them.
but may involve us in quarrels with
some. The relations between other
nations and their domestic affairs
cannot fail to Interest us, for they
will affect the extent and kind, of
our commerce and the relations of
our merchants and shipping men
with those of other nations. This is
a. proof that our former policy of
isolation and of Indifference to the
affairs of other continents cannot be
revived. For a nation which does a
large part of the world's carrying
trade and commerce, isolation is im
possible, for trade makes bonds
which governmental policy cannot
neglect, and foreign policy must fol
lov the flag.
JOHN BURROUGHS.
The eighty-third birthday of John
Burroughs is a reminder of the pecu
liar debt Americans owe to this
gifted naturalist. In a period in
hich the trend of population has
been all toward the relatively clois
tered life of the towns, he has done
more than any other student of
nature to make the outdoors widely
popular. He understands not only
life but how to interpret it. Those
who hve read his "Ways of Na
ture" will have caught a glimpse of
the manner in which he differs from
many other scientists. His is the
mind of the investigator, with the
dry-as-dust left out.
Mr. Burroughs has meanwhile
found a good deal of joy in living.
He has been able to view the twen
tieth century struggle for existence
with a detached interest that has
fallen short of the self-centered
egotism of the hermit, but has saved
him from participation in the hurly
burly that some people confound
with progress. Perhaps this has
contributed to the lengthening of his
years; it has at any rate made life
more comfortable. Those who wduld
live long and happily and who does
not? may be interested in knowing
that Mr. Burroughs' secret consists
chiefly in moderation in all things.
He has shown that it is possible to
be a conservative in life without
being a "mossback." Like Pastor
Wagner, he has not ignored the dif
ference between simplicity and prim-
itiveness. He has kept pace with
the times, but he has not allowed
them to run away with him. Ho
owns an automobile, but he has the
especial knack of driving slowly, and
he sees things as he goes along. He
is conspicuous among moderns who
have not permitted modernity to en
slave them.
Let the literary critics continue to
proclaim Thoreau, and the scientists
to prefer their Darwins, and the
poets to set Maeterlinck above all
others. The Burroughs genius for
seeing nature and also for describing
it, and his poetic conception com
bined with his striking faculty for
setting things down in understand
able and unmistakable prose, make
him unique among American scien
tists, poets and interpreters of nature
to the common run of men.
Germany, bolshevist Russia and the
revolutionary spirit which the latter
Inspires among all nations. Compara
tively few oppose American member
ship in the league on such terms as
will properly limit our obligations,
protect our rights, yet make us an
effective force for world peace in
co-operation with other nations. It
is incumbent on the administration
and congress to come to an understanding-on
the policy to be pursued
if we do, or If we do not, join the
league, to form conclusions as to the
allies we may expect' and the ene
mies with which we may have to
contend, and then to organize and
maintain our armaments at the
strength needed to give that policy
effect. If -the league should elimi
nate danger of a great war, we could
progressively reduce our armaments
to the point of safety.
A continuous foreign policy, modi
fied only, to meet changes in the
world situation, presupposes that it
would not be a subject of party con
troversy. There wonld be such close
co-operation between the president
and senate that deadlocks would be
avoided, and the work of the state
department would be co-ordinated
with that of the war and navy de
partments. No more heed would be
paid to. pacifists whose opinions are
founded, on blindness to obvious
facts,
WRITING BEST SELLERS.
Charles Garvice, who was to One
British reading public what Harold
Bell Wright and Robert W. Cham
bers are to Americans, died the other
day, leaving a single recipe for suc
cess as a writer of popular literature
It was: "Find out. what the people
want and give it to them." The
formula of a showman, certainly; yet
there are successful as well as un
successful showmen. Garvice had an
instinct for appraisement that was
worth all the genius of Robert Louis
Stevenson if millions of copies sold
constitute the measure of success in
novel-building.
Garvice, as a British reviewer
frankly concedes, wrote for people
"who hardly concerned , themselves
over the niceties of criticism." His
work was -not of high order, yet his
rejoinder to a friend who seemed
solicitous to disabuse him on the
score of his attitude toward the per
manence of his literary reputation
was disarming in the highest possible
degree. He pointed to the crowds
on a seaside beach reading. "All my
books," he said; "they are all read
ing my latest." Iti probably was a
true estimate. In an age that makes
a fetich of efficiency he had made
himself efficient. His Industry was
unflagging, his ability to gauge the
tastes of the greatest possible num
ber infallible.
Has the passion for standardiza
tion taken hold on the makers of
FOREIGN POIICY AND NATIONAL
DEFENSE.
Admiral Mayo struck at the root
cause of American unpreparedness
for war when he said it was "absence
of a definite foreign policy except
that of strict neutrality," for the
armed forces of a nation were mere
ly the instruments to support na
tional policies. Every debate in
qngress on army and navy bills
shows members to have in mind to
make provision for national ' defense
on general principles. They have but
a vague idea of defense from attack
by any particular nation or group of
nations or of aid from other nations
in repelling attack.
This lack of co-ordination between
foreign policy and armament was
not a source of -great danger until
the great war broke out. There was
no danger of attack by Great Brit
ain; in fact we could rely on the aid
of its navy in maintaining the Mon
roe doctrine. Germany had a slightly
superior navy and a vast army, de
fense against which dictated greater
naval strength .and military training
of all citizens and plans to mobilize
industry. But Germany's armament
was evidently aimed at other Euro
pean nations, not at us, therefore we
did not prepare to match it. We
have learned since that, though the
war was between European nations,
it involved us, and that German
armament . was used against us.
Hence it follows that our foreign
policy must have regard for the re
lations of other nations to each
other, and "that our armament must
be capable of giving effect to that
policy.
We may learn from the enemy in
this matter. For many years before
1914 Germany had pursued a con
sistent foreign policy and had adapt
ed armament to It. The kaiser de
parted from it in provoking Britain
to fight before he had built up a su
perior navy, but though the odds
were enormously against him In ma
power and wealth, his preparedness
made him the victor on general re
sults down to the opening of 1917.
Later developments indicate that he
would have been the final victor if
he had not again departed from his
policy by bringing the United States
into tle field. On the other hand.
Great Britain, by not keeping in
formed on the real purposes of Ger
many, by not adapting its policy and
its armaments to defeating that pol
icy, narrowly escaped defeat and
would probably have been defeated
but for American intervention.
If the United States had followed I
cioseiy Liie aeveiopments or Euro
pean affairs during the ten years be
fore the war, it should have realized
that they were- leading to a struggle
of such magnitude that, in view of
modern means of communication
and implements of war. it might be
come general and involve this coun
try. The Balkan war should been
seen to hasten the climax, and the
alignment of nations which was
forming should have shown that a
The disappointment felt by advo
cates of the national suffrage amend
ment will be only partly assuaged
uy me circumstance that In more
than half the states women will be
qualified by local statutes to vote for
president anyway. It seems to be
conceded that Connectitcut will not
act in time to save the situation
and the outlook for a special session
in Vermont is still dubious. North
Carolina will have a special session
in July and the governor of that
state has promised to add suffrage
to the list of subiects for considera
tion. But here the victory in the'
legislature is by no means assured,
and the chance of litigation over the
Ohio amendment is still at least
mildly disturbing. In four important
states, however Texas, Massa
chusetts, Ohio and Pennsylvania in
which suffragists have . made the
fight and won, they will not be able
to enjoy the fruits of victory unless
a thirty-sixth state is persuaded to
get in line. The North Carolina
session -will not be held until July.
For the narrowness of its margin of
possibilities. If for no other reason,
the contest grbws more and more in
teresting. Detroit did not help, a bad situa
tion by voting $15,000,000 to build
and operate a municipal streetcal
system: Perhaps she will use Henry
Ford's trolleyless affairs and the
novelty of it will pay. But putting
a public utility out of business bv
municipal rivalry Is not the Amer
ican way of doing things.
jn a supreme effort to keep the con
versation from lagging on his part,
said: ,
"Bishop, don't you think the time
will come when men will be travel
ing through the air as now they do
upon the ground?"
Tise good man looked at his host In
a disturbed and shocked manner and
said severely:
'Young man, such a thing would be
sacrilege. Only God and his angela
can that."
And yet the young man's prophetic
question has come to pass!
The bishop was Bishop Wright, one
of the early famous divines of the
Oregon country, who at that time was
the father of two boys, Orvllle and
.Wilbur, .who within a quarter of a
century were to startle the world by
their discovery of th airplane.
The young school teacher was none
other than J. B. Horner, later to be
come head of the Albany schools and
since then, for 29 years, head of the
history, department at the Oregon Ag
ricultural college.
Eight years ago Herbert Hoover
and his wife (they are both gradu
ates of Leland Stanford) brought out
a translation of the book of George
Agrlcola on metallurgy. The transla
tion was made from the first Latin
edition of 1556.
-For such) an ancient tome the text
and the woodcuts are strangely mod
ern in many ways. Today's industrial
philosophy may be read in such a
passage as this:
"When anyone in an endeavor to
increase his future meets the expendi
ture -of a mine alone. It i of great
Importance that he should attend to
his works and personally superin
tend everything that he has ordered
to be done. For this reason he should
either haye his dwelling at the mine,
where he may'always be in sight of
the workmen and always take care
that none neglect their duties, or else
he should live in the neighborhood,
that he may frequently inspect his
mining works."
blows the soil away until it gets down
to the place where the plow didn't
penetrate. Wherever the plow was
used the soil was loosened and be
came a prey to the vagrant winds,
and these whisked acres of pulverized
dust and tons of perfectly good seed
into the air, depositing dust and seed,
probably, in the Columbia river. The
worse stretch appears to be between
Mora and Rufus.
In the "Come and Go" column yes
terday was a kittle story about J. S
Stewart at the Perkins. The Ore
gonlan arrived at Astoria at noon; the
Chamber of Commerce people read
the column and a couple of hours
later there was a telegraphic request
at the Perkins asking Mr. Stewart to
be the speaker at the noonday lunch
eon today. Mr. Stewart couldn't ac
cept for two reasons, the first being
that he will talk to the Lents grange
on the road measure tonight, and the
second is that Mr. Stewart is wor
ried about his collar. It appears that
up the valley somewhere Mr. Stewart
lost connection with his suitcase and
so has available only the collar he
is wearing. He can't buy more In
Portland because he wears an 18
and has to get them "special" from
the east. He went to one store and
the dealer told him that the only
placc in the town he could 'be fitted
was at a certain number. Blank
street. Mr. Stewart went there and
found it was a harness shop with
display of horse collars.
THK II. C. L. AXU THE BOSSES
Mr. Greer Points Oat That People Are
Now Seleetlasr Own Candidates.
PORTLAND. April 8. (To the Ed
itor.) I have never known the mean
ing of the phrase skilley-skalley"
until reading .an article . with that
heading by Samuel Blythe in the Sat
urday Evening Post of April 3. It is
altogether likely that after reading
his manuscript before sending it to
that periodical he decided that, be
ing "skilley-skalley, he would so
name it.
The article treats of the present
disturbed condition of the world, and
especially of higher prices and prof
iteers In business In the United
States. As long as the author con
fines himself to this phase of the
subject he is highly Interesting, as
he always is, and quite instructive, as
he generally is. But when he be
gins to account for the situation and
oroDosc a remedy, the title of his
article becomes scintillatingiy' appro
priate. He very properly attributes
the outrageously high prices to the
negligence of national officials or
their Inefficiency but asserts that
the situation, in turn, is the result of
the-power of the "bosses" In politics,
in both leading parties, over ."the
masses." He recognizes the neces
sity of political parties and holds
that the remedy of the evils he so
graphically pictures must come
through either the one or the other,
but says the people must unite in
demanding their emancipation from
"dictation," etc.
This is certainly "skllley-skaney,"
all right, or. perhaps, shilley-shalley
Why, even all the school boys In the
United States know that in most ot
the states we have a direct primary
law under the operation of which
every voter decides, for himself in
dividually, his preference for the pres
idency, and the "bosses" stand aside
and wait for the declaration of the
"masses." What boss decided this
question in favor of Senator John
son in Michigan, for instance? Was
It not a. voluntary expression of the
people of Michigan as to whom they
preferred for president? And the peo
ple of South Iakota declared for an
other candidate. And other states for
others. And ail the while the candi
dates are sweating cold and hot in
More Truth Than Poetry.
Br James J. Moataarae.
. . . . i." i' ....... i ,i
unve upon a time -' a. ij vmo
used to buy and sell sheep and make I anticipation of what the people, vot-
his headquarters at Condon. Like most
of the men who indulge in the sheep
industry in Oregon, he made money.
Then, casting around for something
to do, he went into the hotel business
by buyu:g the hotel at Guylcr, Wash.,
which is only 20 miles from Mount
Adams. Mr. Guyler, after whom the
place is named, was a Swiss and he
just naturally headed for the snow
clad scenery and picked out the site
of Guyler, which is as level as a floor.
There is' now a programme to build
a road from Trout lake, which is next
door to Guyler, to White Salmon, on
the Columbia river, but there is some
sort of dispute as to what kind of
a highway should be paved or some
thing like that; anyway, Mr. Reynolds
arrived at the Imperial yesterday and
began a hunt for a cook.
About 70 per cent of the current
The Eskimo of Greenland, no matter I travel in the hotel Is "commercial.'
what his station In life may be. al- meaning that It is composed of travel
ways has both a summer and winter '"S salesmen Business in . most lines
t ... , , .appears to be better than a few
home. The winter house is described j mVIltria aeo. f0r they are carrying
by Roger Pocock in the Wide World more trunks. . The salesmen who deal
Magazine as being a dugout with an tn specialty lines for women arc en
upper structure built of turf and i joying the most prosperity, but the
beams of driftwood. It has but one I cloak and suit drummers of late have
window, as winter in Greenland oc. I pcen complaints . ' 2r," !"
curs during the four-month-long Arc-
Governor Boyle of Nevada" saya
there is a lot of feeling that in grant
ing Mary Pickford a divorce "a Jok
had been made of the Judiciary."
The governor is jumping at conclu
sions. The Joke may be on Dougla
Fairbanks.
tio night. Entrance to the one large
room of which the house consists is
gained through a long funnel about
five feet in height, In which the dogs
live. In the rear of the living room
Is a raised dlas on which the entire
family sleep, and In the .front stands
the stove. This stove consists of a
hollow, stone filled with seal oil In
which burns a rag wlctf. which lights
and heats the house and cooks the
meals. ..
In the summer months, during four
months of which the sun never sets,
the Eskimos live in tents. These
are made, of skins and are shaped
like a boat cut In half. In the
rear of the tent the bed is spread I Krancisco Johnson appears to have
business. This is taken to indicate
that people may be holding off buy
ing, hoping for prices to come down.
Among the travelers in town Is a
perfumery salesman, and, notwith
standing that the 11. C. of L. has hit
the essences, he is having no diffi
culty In placing orders for gallons of
the scented water.
"Hoover clubs are springing up in
California and it looks like a battle
is in prospect between Hoover and
Johnson," declares U. li. Weathcrly.
who arrived yesterday at the Beneon
from San Francisco. "It is hard to
forecast which of the two will carry
the state, for each has some strong
friends and so bitter enemies. In Los
Anceles there is a fight being waged
against Johnson and, of course. Hoo
ver is urofiting by it. Around ban
That axmy sergeant who invented
a device for transmitting music by
wireless ought to be courtmartialed.
The cost of living is high enough
already, without having to buy high
priced cotton to put in our ears.
Klamath barbers may be Justified
in charging more for shaves and
haircuts, but 10 cents more for a
bath Is plain profiteering, with sum
mer a few months away and the
rivers running bank full.
The fruit inspector at Walla Walla
and a lot more of his official kin
find the outlook gloomy, but hoot!
When was the time there was not
enough fruit in the Oregon country
since Lewelling began?
In olden days a man was so
pleased at the birth of a son that
he hurried out to tell all his friends
about it. Now he puts in his time
trying to keep the landlord from
finding out 'about It.
A lot of aviation stuff about a
million dollars' worth was de
stroyed by fire in, a repair depot In
Texas yesterday, and that is gettin?
rid' of it easier than by the junking
plan.
Recall the days of your youth
when you thought bread pudding
with fat raisins in it was the finest
kind of dessert? Getting any now?
while In the wide, high open front
smudge burns day and night. This
smoke fire serves to drive away the
mosquitoes which are large and fe
rocious. The Los Angeles Times has com
piled a list of what It calls vocational
hymns, aa follows:
Real Estate Man "There Is a land 6(
pure delight."
Chiropocii8t"How beautiful an the
feet."
Haberdasher "Blest be the tie that
binds."
Cornet Player "Blow ye the trumpet,
blow."
Soda-slinger-"Come, tnou ?.unt of every
blessing."
Undertaker Hark from the tombs."
Thief "I love to steal a while away."
Manicurist "Beautiful the little hands."
Jeweler "In the silent midnight
watches."
Confectioner- "One sweetly solemn
thought."
Stockman "The Lord my pasture shall
prepare."
Mortgagor ""When. I can read my title
clear."
Heedman "Sowins; the seed."
Aviator "I will arlMe."
Milkman "Shall we gather at the
river."
Credit Man "A charge to keep I have."
ng individually, will dec de to do in
THE MEN WITH THE EDGE.
On hearing that the price of meat
Had been revised and thia tune
downward- ,
In hopes to get a steak to eat,
. 1 took my hat and hurried iown-
ward.
And sure enough, the price was cut.
My butcher verified the rumor;
He got his beef much cheaper but
I didn't I was a consumer.
When anthracite began to drop.
Because they stopped its exporta
tion, I hastened to the fuel shop
A-throb with eaer agitation.
But no education I could get.
Or learnt thing about, dod rot it!
There was a cut in price, I'll bet.
But no one but the dealer got it
'Tis ever thus. vhen prices fall.
Do you and I get bigger slices.
For fewer dollars? Not at all.
We cJlmly pay the -same old prices.
hen cuts are made in clothes or
shoes.
Or on. the things one eats at dinner.
Oi anything consumers use.
The dealer always is the winner.
My Uncle Mike believed in luck
A gambler to th very marrow.
Who often used to buck
The pastime wideiy known as faro
When told about our troubles said:
"My son. you're talking like a
squealer;
Get this Idea through your head:
Nobody ever beats a dealer!"
Maybe ae Forgot It.
Emma Goldman cays she is coming
back to the United States to start a
revolution. Why didn't she start one
while she was over here?
On the Contrary.
Winter resorts are not necessarily
watering places. Look at Cuba, for
example.
Comparative Values.
That lady in the classic story
wouldn't have told the burglar that
her children were her jewels if she
had had any liquor down cellar.
(Copyright. 1930. by the Bell Syndicat.
lno.
Somebody here is eating straw
berries that cost 40 cents a box, and
it is to be hoped he never has to
scrape the sugar bin. but he may.
These admirals say things about
each other that if a plain gob were
to utter would get him about two
years at hard labor.
Charlie Chaplin got knocked out
in a fight with his wife's manager.
He'd better stick to comedy.
Now Bainbridge Colby has lost the
Irish vote and hasn't even won that
of Ulster.
At present prices potatoes should
be wrapped like oranges and apples.
John C. Pugh, who served as a clerk
to the house naval affairs committee
while It 'was drafting the naval appro
priation 'bill, saved the government
1100,000,000. according to Representa
tive Thomas S. Butler of West Ches
ter. Mr. Butler is chairman of the
committee and introduced a bill In
the house to give Mr. Pugh 1000 ex
tra for his services. The bill passed
the house by a vote of 271 to 24.
-
When the train stopped at a little
station In the south a tourist from
the north emerged and gazed curi
ously at a lean animal rubbing It
self against a scrub oak. "What do
you call that?" he asked a native.
"Razor-back hawg, suh."
"What's he rubbing himself against
the tree for?"
"He's stroppin' hlsself, suh, jes'
etroppln' hisself." Everybody's Mag
azine. A salesman was showing an elderly
lady the virtues of the car he sella
He made many turns and at the prop
er times extended his arm as a' turn
ing signal.
The old lady watched the proceed
ing for some time. Then she craned
her neck and looked at the sky.
"Mister." she said sternly, tapping
him on the shoulder, "you Just tend
to your driving. It don't look like
rain nohow, but if it should I'll let you
know." Dayton (Ohio) Journal.
the best of it, or at least that was
the way the situation looked when 1
left there a couple of days ago. How
ever. I'm not in. politics and don't
know anything more than what I hear
people talking on the subject.
All that Clerk Hermann, of the
Hotel Portland, brought home with
him from his fishing trip were a
couple of large blisters which have
ruined his feet and makes standing
behind the counter anything but an
unalloyed pleasure. Mr. Hermann
sallied forlh to catch trout near
Forest Grove. He waded a stream
for five miles, whipping it withou
result. The boots he wore were too
large, which accounts for the blis
ters, otherwise.he would have noth
ing to show for his pains. Mr. Her
mann insists, however, that the
stream is filled with trout, but the
water is too muddy.
Daniel Webster, who was justice
of the peace at Salem longer than
any other man who ever held the
office there, arrived at the Seward
yesterday wearing his(G. A. R. but
ton. Mr. Webster, who is quite elder
ly, resigned being justice of the peace
about a year ago. For years his
office was the headquarters for the
civil war comrades and all the bat
tles from Bull Run to Appotomax
were fought in the little room in the
Capitol hotel.
James R. Linn of Salem, newly ap
pointed member of the state fair
board, is registered at the Seward
with Mrs. Linn. The appointment of
Mr. Linn met with the approval of his
large circle of acquaintances through
out the state, for aside from his po
litical affiliations, he is interested In
several farms. The appointment has
not affected him, as he casually ob
serves, "You may still call me Jim."
Les' Matlock of Heppner is at the
Imperial. As the story goes, the day
that a devastating flood came down
Willow creek and just about wiped
out the town and caused the death
of scores of people, Les' Matlock did
the Paul Revere act and raced on
horseback warning people to get to
high groundi
C. E. Arney of Spokane, who is at
the Hotel Portland on one of his
every-once-in-a-while visits, is con
nected with the Northern Pacific rail
road and his special province is to en
courage settlers to settle and culti
vate) and thus produce more tonnage
for the freight department.
When Thomas B. Handley isn't at
Salem legislating. S. S. Johnson is
in the law business with him in Tilla
mook. Mr. Johnson is in Portland on
a business trip and l among the ar
rivals at the Seward.
he matter
And yet Mr. Blythe declares that
the solution of the economical dif
ficulties which he so truly sets forth
Is for the people to refuse longer to
let the "bosses" hand them the names
of the candidates for whom they
must vote, admitting, as he does, thar
the next president will be nominated
either at Chicago or San Francisco.
As everybody knows, the great con
test now being waged in all the states'
to determine what the people will
do in this very matter.
Mr. Blythe says that business men
and the people at large must unite in
this movement and refuse to permit
the bosses to hand them their can
didates. But the trouble here is that
while all business men are not prof
iteers, all profiteers are business men.
The profiteers are the very boys we
are all after. It must be admitted,
however that "them will be the hap
py days" when the business men will
array themselves against the prof
iteers! It might help some if Attorney-General
Palmer could be induced
to desist from further "probing" in
the matter of the H. C. of L. Since he
began probing some four months ago
the general average of prices has risen
at least 10 per cent. Wonder if Pres
ident Wilson could be persuaded to
call him off?
In the meantime, however, as to the
solution being in a decision of the
people to select their own candidntes.
Mr. Blythe Is at leasfcZO years, behind
In his reading. T. T. GEEli.
.
ROBIN SETS EXAMPLE KOU ALL
We, Too. (Hi Arise Wllk Song and
Make the Best of Things.
PORTLAND, April 8. (To the Edi
tor.) We have a beautiful example
from our ever present robin. He
wakes us very early in the morning
with his cheery notes of thanksgiving
He Is the very last bird to retire in
the evening.
Long after the lights are turned on
we can hear him chirping or singing
as he looks after worms or other food
He always appears happy and con
tented; even if there Is some frost Id
the air It s Just the same.
We may well be inspired by out
feathered friend's example of making
the best of things. We, too, can arise
In the morning with a song of praise
and thanksgiving In our hearts. As
the day passes with its happenings,
inharmonies or disappointments they
can be cured by forgetting them
Solomon wisely said: As a man
thinketh so Is he." When the baby
gets a bump, if you pity him, he
screams all the louder, but if you at
tract his attention to anything be
sides his temporary troubles he Is
soon laughing and happy.
Drop the habit of saying anything
of anyone you would not say to his
face. I heard a woman answer an
other who started to tell something
about a neighbor. She said to the
news vender: "Don't you be the firs
person to tell me bad news or gossip.'
That works a charm every time. The
second attempt will never be made.
It takes two to start a quarrel and
it taaes more than one to stir up
gossip.
Love your neighbor, be good to
those who would persecute vou."
MATTIE BOONE ROSS.
In Other Days.
Twenty-Five Years Ago.
From The Oregonisn of April 9. 1S05.
Salem During the closing days of
his term. ex-Governor Pennoyer Issued
long list of commutations of sen
tence, including four to men sen
tenced for murder and two for man
slaughter.
Joseph Panuet, east side contractor
and capitalist, was last night elected
clerk of school district No. 1. suc
ceeding H. S. Allen. .
Proposals for the purchase of $200.-
000 of the Portland bridge bonds, issue
of 1S-95. were received yesterday and
the bid of Blair & Co.. offering a
premium of 9.67, was accepted.
The Park Place church at Univer
sity Park, was dedicated Sunday
afternoon in the presence of a large
congregation.
Fifty Yrars Ago.
From The Oregonlan of April 0, l7u.
Washington. Memorial services In
honor of General Thomas were held
yesterday afternoon in the chamber
of the' house of representatives.
Madrid. Enforcement of the con
scription law began yesterday
throughout Spam, with disturbances
reported from several regions.
The Willamette is rising and boats
make the trip to Corvallls without
uifficulty.
One of the dump carts used In the
cut of the Oregon & California rail
road was thrown from the track yes
terday and caused considerable delay
to the work.
FROM
FRIEND OF HIRAM
Who supplied the Cason boy with
liquor? He Is the one to punish.
At their present rate of ascension
potatoes will soon be angel food.
At a' dinner in an eastern city, ex
President Taft related the story of
an editor who was offered pay for his
appearance at a certain function, says
the New York Evening Post. When
he ' refused it, although this seems
strange for an editor, the person who
had made the offer remarked that he
would putthe money In "the fund."
The editor's1 curiosity was aroused.
"What fund?" he asked. "Oh, the fund
to get better speakers next year,"
was the unexpected reply.
Edward S. Hough, who designed the
Hough type of ship, used by the ship
ping board, is once more registered
at the Multnomah from San Francisco,
where he is connected with a marine
company. ' v
"Mr. and MrsS W. E. Thompson of
Bridal Veil, are at the Multnomah.
Mr. Thompson is in the lumber busi
ness In the town which ! located
between the Columbia highway and
the Columbia river.
. J. A. Miller, capitalist, stockman
and former mayor of Fossil, is at the
Multnomah.
Husband's Curtesy In Estate.
PORTLAND. April 8. (To the Ed
itor.) A married woman accumu
lates property consisting of a house
and three lots. She is divorced and
in course of time marries again. She
has one daughter by first husband.
She pays all taxes and assessments
and property is in her name. Does
the second husband have a -right In
the property in case of her demise,
or does it all go to the daughter.
there being no will at present? Do
Improvements to the property effected
by the second husband give him a
hold on it?
A CONSTANT READER.
Upon the- death of the wife a life
Interest In the Income from one-half
the property would go to the hus
band. He cannot be barred from It
by will. .
With Some Observations on the Keiri
From M Irklitsn.
PORTLAND. April 6. (To the Edi
tor.) How docs The Oregonlan like
the news from Michigan? To all
right-thinking Americans it is mighty
good news, becau.se it is favorable to
that staunch American and true pa
triot, Hiram Johnson.
By the way, anent the so-called
league of nations, why does The Ore
gonian persist in calling Johnson a
radical?- Bear in mind that rock upon
which this republic was founded, the
constitution, and that our foreign pol
icy down through all the years has.
been a policy of no-entangling alli
ances and non-interference In Euro
pean affairs, and that under that con
stitution and through our American
policies we have come to be the
greatest republic ar.d most prosperous
people in the world, and that Wilson
advocates the nullification of the con
stitution and a radical change in our
long-establlshsJ foteign policy, while
Johnson believes we should maintain
our American Ideals, institutions and
foreign policies. Who Is the radical.
Woodrow Wilson or Hiram Johnson?
Does The Oregonlan really believe
the American people prefer the so
called league of nations to our con
stitution? Or is all this nonsensical
clamor for the league merely the
aftermath of the late distemper Wil
sonitis? L. C. MILLER.
.--
Savings Consist of One Hat.
ONTARIO, Or., April 5. (To the
Editor.) Herewith is copy of my
resignation as an employe of the
postoffice department. By implica
tion It accurately and truthfully por
trays the splendid opportunity and
extraordinary Inducements offered by
employment in the civil service, and
particularly in the postoffice depart
ment, to ambitious and energetic
young men. .
Chief Clerk Railway Mall Service. Port
land. Or. I hereby tender my resignation
as railway postal clerk, effective April 6,
1920.
And now, with grateful acknowledgment
and hesrty good wishes to my friends and
former co-workers, and a benediction upon
the service, I take my hat which repre
sents the savings of 'Jl years in this field
of endeavor and retire.
W. H. MULLEN.
GettinfC Job aa Cartoonist.
MAUPIN, 0r., April 6. (To the Ed
itor.) Please tell me how one starts
cartooning for profit. To whom could
one wri or submit samples of work?
. M. S.
It is a matter of applying In per
son or by letter and of submitting
samples of sketches to the editors
of various publications until one finds :
the happy combination of an editor
who needs a cartoonist and likes the
applicant's work.
Not One Word.
PORTLAND, April 8. (To the Edi
tor.) To settle an argument, please
advise 4f there is such a word as
"alright" or if the two words, "all
right," should be used. B. P.
The expression requires two words.
Address Is Wanted.
WINLOCK. Wash, April 6. (To the
Editor.) Please print an inquiry on
the editorial page asking for address
of Eleanor Hall, whose article ap- I
peared March 7 in the Sunday Ore- J
I gonlan. ants. A. i. (.Lltns. .
OH, I.OOKIT! r.KRAI.DIJiE!
AIN'T HE STL'.NNING!
Despite the fact that he en
couraged ruminative gum chew
ing Despite the fact that he de
veloped an abortive sense of
romance in the American home
Despite the fact that profi
teering eventually swept the
nickel theater Into the catch-all
of discarded enjoyments
May blessings rest upon the
good gray head that first con
ceived the motion picture!
What would we do without
'em?
You can't answer that. Neither
can we.
The void, the vacuity, the per
fect vacuum that would -ensue
ia awful to contemplate .with
equanimity.
If you would be well advised
on the latest and most desirable
offerings of the silent drama,
alias the silver screen, otherwise
our old friend "the movies"
Read the special section of the
Sunday paper. . -