6
TITE 3rORXIXG OREGOXIAX, 3IOXDAT, XOVE3IBER 24. 1919.
ETABLlliUKD BY HENRY L. PITTOCK.
PuDl'thed by The Oregonian Publishing Co..
15 Sixth Street. Portland. Oregon.
'C A. MORDEX, E. B. PIPER
Manager. iditor.
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GET RID OF THE "WOBBLIES."
' The decision of the immigration
bureau, sustained by the labor de
partment, that mere membership in
the I. W. W. is not cause for de
portation, but that the accused must
have advocated or done something
or must have conspired to do some
thing in violation of law in order to
merit deportation, reduces the law
to impotence as a means of ridding
the country of its enemies by depor
tation. That is abundantly proved
by the figures produced at the In
quiry by a congressional committee
!in New York. What protection is
there against revolutionists when
only 25 out of 64 persons ordered
deported from Seattle, only 60 out of
697 arrested in the whole country be
tween February 7 and November 1,
have actually been deported?
Proof is conclusive that the I. W.
W. is a revolutionary conspiracy and
that every person who becomes a
member pledges himself to work for
its revolutionary ends. Hence'mem- i
"hership is in itself cause for deporta
tion of aliens. So long as the gov
ernment adheres to the present prac
tice of the immigration bureau, such
a campaign to round up the I. V. V.
as has been made on the Pacific
coast is wasted labor, like pouring
water through a sieve. The only way
. to rid the country of this pest is,
once an I. W. W. is caught, to hold
him until he is in an American peni
tentiary or on board an outward
bound ship.
U The blame does not lie with the
"ield officers of the immigration ser
vice: they have worked with com
mendable zeal to gather in every I.
. W. W. and bolshevist alien In this
'..country and have done all that lay in
their power to send the pests across
the ocean. The blame rests with the
- executive heads of the bureau and
-with their superiors at the head of
the labor department, who turn loose
--to resume their evil work nine out of
'. every ten of the men who are placed
. under arrest. Real Americans are
,-wanted in the place of these officials
-with parlor bolshevist proclivities.
" No time should be wasted about
"amending the law. The house can
do its part while the senate consid
ers the railroad bill, and the senate
- can act on it as soon as that bill is
out of the way.
near its end, and that letter evinced j
a determination that peace shduld j
be made by the democratic party. In
view of Mr. Wilson's unquestioned
mastery over that party; this meant
that it should be made by him. He
had contended, In act if not in word,
that the war should be run by the
democratic party, though he sum
moned the whole nation to fight the
war, and it nobly responded. The
terms of the treaty and the grave ob
ligations of the covenant must be
fulfilled by all of the people, not
solely by the democratic party. As
sumption by one party of the ex
clusive right to conduct a war which
the whole nation must fight and to
conclude a treaty which the whole
nation must fulfill is a frank invita
tion, indeed a provocation, to criti
cism and party controversy. These
may be restrained by patriotism
while danger to the nation is im
minent, but they Inevitably break
loose when the danger is past, as it
was believed to be, but was not, on
Armistice day. We now realize from
the perils which threaten both
from within and without that the
danger is not yet past and that we
need the same unity of action as
when we were actually at war.
From this realization should
spring a decision of the people that
never again shall a foreign war be
made and a treaty ending such a war
be made as a party enterprise. The
people should, and probably will,
demand, with their customary grasp
of realities, that in face of danger to
the nation's life, their unity of action
shall reach to the top and that "all
the ablest and best men of all par
ties shall be summoned to share the
highest responsibilities of making
war and peace, and they will con
demn Mr. Wilson for not having fol
lowed that course. In that event,
never again will a president write
such letters as he wrote, summoning
the people to a party standard when
the only summons should be to the
national standard.
THE REATj ISSUE ABOUT THE TREATY.
If President Wilson should at
. tempt to make the treaty of Versail
les the main political issue ot the
campaign, he will find that state
. ments of two senators are unanswer-
able proof that a very different issue
' is before the people. Both of these
A COMMITTEE OF PUBLIC SAFETY.
It is virtually certain that capital
punishment will be restored in Ore
gon at the next general election. That
is well enough as far as it goes, but it
is not sufficient cause. for the public
now to sit back at its ease and view
with complacency the era of law
breaking that exists. Reenactment of
capital punishment is a matter for
the future. It cannot be accomplished
short of November, 1920. And when
accomplished it will reach only the
crime of murder.
Nor Is the capture of the Claremont
murderers a cause for renewal of
apathy. Their quick apprehension
may shake the nerve of other crim
inals for a few days. Crimes may
diminish for a short period, but there
is no reason to believe that the men
caught are the only criminals oper
ating in Portland or that the un
caught will not soon resume their op
erations.
There must be a concerted cam
paign in Portland against criminality
of all kinds against burglary,
against sneak-thievery, against high-
waymanry, against bootlegging,
against reckless driving of automo
biles. The householder who today leaves
his home for a few hours returns ex
pecting to find that it has been en
tered and robbed during his absence.
The pedestrian .at night avoids the
dark streets, shifts his purse and
fears the -approach of any stranger;
the careful automobile driver is in
constant apprehension that his car
will be mashed and he perhaps in
jured, through fault of some reckless
driver.
There is need for- an aggressive
policy in which the public does its
share. The Oregonian renews its
suggestion made yesterday that the
public organize itself into a commit
tee of public safety, and In co
operation with the authorities, devise
a system of espionage, of protection,
and of apprehension of malefactors.
fers one a fully equipped building
with blacksmith shop and tools. Sev
eral towns want men to run scores or
hotels, jNortn Bend being in urgent
need of the latter.
There are opportunities for young
tinen to grow up with the country.
and by supplying the wants men
tioned the cities will help the
country to grow up. Newcomers
from the well settled east and middle
west, where everything needed for
ordinary emergencies is close at
hand, might reasonably hesitate to
settle in a place that is several hours'
journey from a doctor or an automo
bile repair shop, and thus a good set
tler may be lost. The man who sup
plies these requisites will help the
place to grow up, and his fortune will
grow with it.
Men too readily assume that all
the opportunities have been taken,
when the instances mentioned show
that they bob up every day for the
man whose eyes are open.
PATIENCE WORTH.
Reappearance of "P a 1 1 e n c e
Worth," supposed to have been a
young New England maiden who de
parted this life some 350 years ago,
and now arousing more or less curi
ous interest in metaphysical circles
in the east, was timed to fill a de
mand such as is described in Robert
Hichens' latest novel, "Mrs. Marden."
'And so," says the medium of the
story, "i began .to give the people
what they wanted." This medium
is frankly a humbug, but strangely
and not altogether inconsistently he
is a humbug who believes. The dis
tinction is one that has been over
looked by both sides in the recent
discussion of matters spiritualistic.
Mr. Hichens has no difficulty in
making his medium a pathetic figure,
even while "exposing" him. After
all, why should not there be some
consideration for a man who tries,
even for pay, to satisfy the spiritual
longings of a people bereaved by war
The large number of books on re
ligion, and especially on spiritualism
exceeding In some printed lists the
number of books on the war itself,
printed since the war came to a
nominal close, indicates a state of
mind which accounts at the same
time for the new interest in "Pa
tience Worth" and her earthly
amanuensis, Mrs. Curran. Patience,
be it known to those who have not
followed her recent manifestations,
customarily employs the ouija board
as -a means of communication. She
has written, or dictated, a number
of formidable books and some verse
through this method. Two thous
and words in an afternoon have been
a not-uncommon stint; one day the
record was 12,000 words. That
good deal of the product has been
commonplace does not rob it of an
other exceptional quality. For mere
volume, considering the -mechanical
limitations of the ouija board, it Is
amazing. If not from Patience
Worth herself, then Mrs. Curran is
a remarkable woman. One need only
try it himself to realize this.
The difficulty of the work has
been voluntarily, and perhaps need
lessly, increased, if it is wholly that
poetry with Patience's ease and ra
pidity. And in so sighing, Mr. Mas
ters disabuses the minds of many of
the notion that he writes free verse
because it comes more easily than
the other kind. "Set thy handmaid
a task," says Patience, quaintly,
again, and then proceeds to Indite,
ouijawise, the following to that still
more modern institution, the Red
Cross:
Scarlet emblem, bluhsing symbol.
Pillow of the godhead, where his regal
brow bended
And it wept tears which burned the eyes.
Blushing symbol, bathed In mercy.
What man may stand before It
But he that raise his hands palm up.
And his heart leap and he remember
Nazareth, the birth of love.
And Golgotha, Its culmination.
One may admit that the verse Is
remarkable without pretending to
know precisely what it means. And
one may hold to the position taken
by Dr. Hyslop, that it Is altogether
"highly interesting psychological
problem" without taking sides on
the issue whether the medium is sin
cere or insincere.
A good deal of new interest un
doubtedly has been awakened di
rectly because of the war and the
bereavements it has caused, and
much of it may deserve the charac
terization which Mr. Hichens has
given it in "Mrs. Marden" of "mys-tery-mongering."
The interesting
phase of it all, to the investigating
scientist, is likely to be the psycho
logy of the crowd, rather than the
mystery of the manifestation. Mr.
Hichens gives us something to think
t bout with his suggestion that "there
is something else besides folly to
every human manifestation." Lodge,
Doyle and Crooks may not have ob
tained precisely that which they
think they have, yet, as one of the
characters in "Mrs. Marsden says.
men of their calibre are not fools.'
And as he goes on: "This war, which
is doing so many strange things to
the world, is turning frivolous and
hitherto materially-minded men and
women toward the beyond. I turn
with them. Kuripides said, 'Who
knows if life be not death and death
be not life?" And I say, too who
knows?"
BY-PRODUCTS OF THE TIMES
Airplanes for forest patrol have
proved such a success that much
larger use of them should be made
next year, especially as the experi
ence thus gained in peace will prove
valuable In war. They might also
help in pursuing wobblies and other
criminals.
The tragedy at a dance hall at
Ville Platte, La., is one more lesson
in the necessity of wide doors and
wde stairs to places of entertain
ment. These lessons have to be re
peated from time to time, always at
the cost of human life.
A Portland man has invented a gas
barrage device to protect safes from
safe crackers, but humanely declares
he will use only tear gas and not the
poison kind. -ine saie cracitem
would appreciate the joke more if he
used laughing gas.
Victims of burglars who get away
of the medium herself, by the pose with sums under a hundred dollars
of Patience as a sixteenth century might be ahead in those amounts it
spirit. Certain archaic forms of die- they had checking accounts instead
tion which persist in her communi- I of keeping the money in bureaus ana
cations and which are said to have trunks where the robbers give tnei
withstood philological criticism, must I first "once over.
necessarily constitute a severe tax on
the medium. Patience talks in the President Wilson has told his opin
language of a bygone time. The ion of Carranza so often that h
quaintness of her "wouldsts" and knows it by this time. Nothing can
'thys," her antiquated handlings of I influence him except what Mr. W 11
the grammar and syntax of the lan- I son may do to him, but there is a
guage, undoubtedly lend piquancy striking absence of deeds.
and mystery to the whole adventure.
Those who agreed with Dr. Hyslop, The veto which the German gov
head of the Psychical Research so- ernment has put on comment on th
ciety, when he said of- one of . the senate's failure to ratify the treaty
earlier Patience Worth books that I is prompted no doubt by fear lest too
Seattle Writer Informs on Mayor
Baker's Legal Learning-.
"Mayor George Baker of Portland Is
a lawyer," positively, asserts "The
Stroller" in the Seattle Argus.
"Tears ago, before Mayor Baker
was even Councilman Baker, The
Stroller .had some business dealings
with him. The Stroller had contracted
with Manager Baker to do a certain
thing. Another party secured a court 1
injunction to prevent its being done.
Mayor Baker's lawyer was ill.
" T am a lawyer,' said Manager
Baker. 'Me to the courts.
"After Mr. Baker had made a more
or less able statement of the cas
anyhow, as able as it was possible for
him to make the judge made the
temporary injunction permanent.
And then Mr. Baker and The
Stroller hunted rip the sick lawyer
and stated the case to him.
'The court,' said he, 'had no busi
ness issuing such an injunction. It
is absolutely illegal. Just act as if
ou had never heard of it, and Mon
day when I am better I will get it
dissolved.'
"We did and he did, and that was
the end of the case. .
I am constrained to tell that story
through reading in the "secular" press
that Mayor Baker wants some more
aws passed, and I would suggest to
him that perhaps, as was the case
years ago, he is more in need of
lawyers than of laws."
There is no better test of a man's
bigness than his way of handling sub
ordinates who make mistakes, says a
writer in the Boston Post.
J. Pierpont Morgan, the elder, had a
clerk who, living beyond his means.
sought to make up the balance
through speculation, and. having
failed, helped himself to the firm's
money.
The culprit was called into Mr.
Morgan's private office.
He expected arrest. Instead, he was
told to go home and tell his wife all
about it. "And tomorrow morning,"
said Mr. Morgan, "see me again."
The clerk obeyed, and Mr. Morgan,
to the young fellow's amezement.
handed him in bills the full amount
of his peculation $5400 with: "Put
that back where you took the other
from. It is a loan from me, and I
expect you to return it as soon as
you can. None of the other clerks
know anything about it. Let me see
if you can't be a man."
After many months the youngster
restored to Mr. Morgan the last dol
lar of the debt.
AfteP counting the pile of bills on
his desk, to which he had added t'.iose
just given him, Mr. Moj-gan observed:
"Well, my boy, it was a bit harder
saving it than losing it, I'll warrant.
Now take It home and give it to
your wife. It's a safe bet that she
saved most of it."
Thos j Who Come and Go.
With a Kick in It.
B7 I. t. 1).
much joy should cause it to ratify
after all
DANGEROUS JOKES.
In the category of practical jokes
there are several that ought to be
strictly taboo. They are the staged
statements come from the men who , "oia-up me laite ponce ram, tne
desire that the treaty be ratified, and stunt oi tne swimmer wno pretenas
each corroborates the conclusion to
. be drawn from the other, that Mr.
the facts necessary to establish Pa
tience Worth are deliberately omitted
from the book, evidently because they
could not stand the light of day," I The trirl who leaped into the river
nevertheless will concede that Pa- m an effort to commit suicide, and
tience is a -piece of rather clever was rescued by the police, now has
craftsmanship, if not humbuggery. I an offer of marriage. In other words,
Patience is entertaining. Her in-1 this time she may plunge into the
consistencies provide for that. AI- I sea of matrimony.
though she prefers not to use modern
forms of speech, leading us to believe
that spirits do not keep pace with
changes on this sphere of ours, she
; Wilson prevented ratification.
One of these statements was made
by Senator McNary, leader of the
moderate reservationists, who have
" been ready to unite with the presi-
dent's supporters in favor of reserva
tions which would not have weak
ened the treaty in any respect. It is:
I have no doubt that the treaty would
have been ratified during the day that
congress ud.iourned, had it not been for
, . the president's letter to the democratic
, . members of the -senate, wherein he da
' clared that the acceptance of the resolu
tions of ratification would result in null
1 fication rather than ratification of the
treaty. Thin letter had the effect of
withholding from the support of the reso
.. lutton a sufficient number, of democrats
- to defeat the treaty.
The other declaration was made
'.' bv Senator Hitchcock, leader of the
. democrats in the treaty fight, and
the man to whom the president sent
the letter to which Mr. McNary re
ferred. An Associated Press dispatch
quotes him as "reiterating his- belief
that ratification would yet be ac
coinplished" but as saying that reser
- vations were "inevitable."
Reservations were as inevitable on
November 1 9 as they were when Mr.
- Hithcock spoke. They would have
; been made and the treaty would have
been ratified but for that letter of
; Mr. Wilson, which "had the effect of
withholding from the support of the
- resolution- a sufficient number of
democrats to defeat the treaty."
" That proves that, when the treaty
controversy is discussed by the peo-
pie in the campaign, the real ques
ir tion before them will not be as to
the merits of the treaty, especially
the league covenant, and of the res-
" ervations: it will be as to whether
" the senate should submit to executive
" dictation or should exercise its inde
. pendent judgment as a co-ordinate
branch of the treaty-making power.
- The question will be whether the
- people shall approve or condemn the
r action of a large body of senators in
t converting themselves into rubbe
- stamps in the hands of the president
- for no other reason than that they
are members of the same political
. party as he. The voters will ask: If
. the senate is to make ratification of
; the acts of the president a merely
- formal matter of course, in what
better condition are we, under this
" one-man power, than the subjects of
; the autocrat against whom we
. fought?
The popular verdict will not be
" rendered on the acts of the last day
" or the last few days of the senate's
" deliberations. It will be rendered on
the whole chain of acts, extending
back at least to the letter of the
- president, written In October, 191S.
asking the peoplj to elect a demo
cratic congress. The war was then
he is drowning and that frequent
practice of inducing newspapers to
print a limited number of copies for
private circulation containing some
scandalous article. Nearly all soon
or late injure or plague the perpe
trators or persons whom they were
not intended to amuse.
The staged hold-up causes men
sometimes to resist the -real desper
ado; the fake police raid, when par
ticipated in by real oficers dimin
ishes public confidence-in the sober
ness of law and in the Industry of
the department; the swimming joke
smith often causes rescuers to neg-
ect those in real need of assistance:
he humorously published scandal
frequently gets into the hands of
those by whom it was not intended
that it should be seen and is taken
seriously.
J. N. Burgess, who was killed at
Claremont tavern, refused to obey
the command of a desperado because
he thought it was a joke. Mr. Bur
gess had spent his life in a stock-
raising country where men work
hard and in their leisure moments
are often given to rude pranks. If
he had not himself seen or known
personally of robbery fakements he
had undoubtedly read of them.
Everybody has. Some practical joker
somewhere is an accessory to' the two
Claremont murders.
The practical joke is ever a dan
gerous plaything. But there are some
types of it that should be let relig
iousiy alone by all stuntsters, for
their own future peace of mind.
Give the police bureau credit for
more good work, while all criminals
cannot be arrested instanter. the
shows in other ways that she has force can be depended upon to solve
Deen Keeping nerseii miormea oi what mav be called "blind" cases,
tne progress oi events, tjnnging to
tne etymology or loau. sne nevertne- y,0 -a-y,n tiw.nitine- a car.
less is not taken aback by twentieth accepts a ride on a slippery morning
century happenings. She knows who a chance. The street car may
jugar jee -wasters is, ana nas a mi n n(1 crowded, but it
4erse reauy at jur. masters re- seldom skids and overturns.
ijUCaL, LU U1U9U uil LUiiceniiCK VV 11-
OPPORTCNITIES STILL, OPEN.
An example of the kind of service
which the Oregon Chamber of Com
merce renders to the smaller towns
and villages of the state is, to be
found in its latest news letter. It tells
the opportunities offered by various
towns for industries, but it also tells
of the needs of small communities
for some of the indispensables of civ
ilized life.
The most striking of these is doc
tors and druggists. Only one who
has lived in the country where towns
are far apart realizes what it means
not to be able to call a doctor or pro
cure medicine without a day's jour
ney, involving delay which in some
cases may mean death. Such a place
is Flora, which "has neither a drug
store nor a doctor," though it is
forty miles from the railroad at En
terprise, and a doctor "would serve
a section twenty or thirty miles' in
each direction." Boardman is in the
same position, the nearest'physician
being at Hermiston.
Garage men also are in demand.
Ruby, on the Jordon Valley irriga
tion project, wants one, and May
ville, on the John Day highway, of-
liam Marion Reedy of St. Louis, and
a bit of repartee for Dr. Hyslop, who
seems to have gone to scoff without
remaining to pray. The mission of
the Red Cross is no news to her. In
every respect except her diction she
seems to have kept up- to date. In
the presence of that most modern of
modern personages, Ethel Barry
more, she is as much at home as we
can imagine her in her own drawing-
room, among spirits of her own cen
tury and her own choosing.
We do not wonder that the re
porters recorded after a recent seance
that "Dr. Hyslop listened with
slightly enigmatical, worried expres
sion, and "admitted that there was
an extraordinary psychological phe
nomenon" involved in the case of
Patience Worth. Perhaps this devil
dog of psychological research owed
part of his worry to the fact that
Patience, who must have heard the
doctor'" opinion of her, instead of
using words of recrimination in
dited, off-hand, the following:
Through that vast vale, black, pitlike,
Wouldst thou hold a taper?
Is that yearning born of truth.
Kating thy heart with hungry anticipation
That thou shouldst leave a beacon upon
the sands?
Yet, O had thou beheld the regal bark of
day r
Floating upon the sea of eternity
And no beacon light, no chart!
In benediction do I bow before thee.
It will be admitted that the "come
back," to use the vernacular of our
day, as Patience does that of hers.
was rather neat, and that it ought
to account sufficiently for Dr. Hys-
lop's worried look. Fourteen "poems'
in an hour, of which the foregoing
is a fair specimen, are a creditable
output for either spirit or medium.
Take, for further example, the fol
lowing, produced in answer to Mr.
Masters' request for something about
Mr. Reedv:
He who -epeaketh with a barbed tongue,
direct as an arrow;
He whose eyes are pits, deep as midnight
and as coverings;
He whoso heart is the tabernacle, yea the
sanctuary ot all men
That Is great news that the two
miners entonioea a ween Dy a cave
in at Mullan are alive, with the
strong probability of seeing daylight
before many days pass.
The administration has sent an
other of its "sharp" notes to Car
ranza. And his reply, no doubt, will
be another protest against being
slapped on the wrist.
A certain wag once said (he has
since died) that there are three things
a man should do in private washing,
marrying and eating breakfast. This
is a solemn truth. Washing Is an act
of purification, marriage Is an act of
dedication and breakfast is an act of
contemplation. For the first two
privacy is preferable; to contempla
tion it is necessary. Co writes Rich
ardson Wright in Atlantic Monthly.
One cannot contemplate and be
polite surrounded by a family. He
must have leisure and privacy. When
a man props a newspaper before him
at breakfast, he Is rarely avid for
news; the paper is merely to shield
against intrusion. Wives should un
derstand this. But because many of
us do not appreciate leisure and pri
vacy we really do not value a meal
devoted to such virtues.
All day we are too busy. At night
we are too tired. It is only in justice
to ourselves that we should lay claim
to at least one meal a day. This is no
selfish premise; it is a fact that older
people have proved leisure and pri
vacy are requisite for the development
of self-respect, discernment and poise.
So then
Luncheon to business.
Dinner to the family.
Breakfast to one's personal thoughts.
That is the perfect day.
The following example of true Mis
souri philosophy comes from the
Maitland (Mo.) Herald:
"Bert Patterson is moving down
nto Cass county, southeast of Kansas
City about 40 miles. His new farm
is five miles from a rock road that
runs straight to Kansas City, and he
says he counts that he is as good as
home in any kind of weather when he
reaches K. C, because no matter how
bad and muddy he can ride to the end
of the stone road and walk the last
five miles. Bert says that they ask
$50 an acre more for the same kind
of a farm as his if it is on the stone
road."
Two elderly sleuths, as good as
they were in their best days, when
they were the best ever, shook hi.nds
yesterday as William A. ' Pinkerton,
chief of the famous detective agency,
greeted Sergeant Joe Day of the
Portland police bureau, veteran de
tective of the local force. "Know
Joe Day?" laughed Mr. Pinkerton.
"Should ay I do, ever since Hector
was a pup." Whereupon Mr. Pinker
ton, apropos of Portlan memories,
drew from his mental filing cabinet
a most Interesting story of "Christ
mas" Keough. once a local pugilist,
who swindled a Portland bank and be
gan a successful career as forger and
h.H.rhk onerator. They called him
"Christmas" because the holiday sea
son alwavs brought him form to re-
.iviiv. After an eight years
qhc th pinhertoDl landed him and
he went to the "big house" tor a turns
"stretch." Mr. Pinkerton is now
makinir a Dersonal visit to the many
agencies of his organization.
Something unusual Is always be
falling F. W. Huntington of the
police force, when he takes his gun
or rod and fares forth to vacation
He traps bobcats almost within the
city limits, he has a keener nose for
the elusive Chinese pheasant than
mnsi Betters have. Some weeks ago,
when the pheasant season was at its
explosive height. Huntington was
hunting the glorious big birds near
Forest Grove. He carried a double-
barreled shotgun loaded with number
sixes, chilled. There was a crash in
an oaken thicket, a glimmer of hide
and horn hiking swiftly away on four
nimble leas, and Huntington fired
twice. The aimrry took both spite
ful loads broadside and tumbled at the
double report dead as the proverbial
doornail. That night the Huntington
family fried venison steaks cut from
the very fine specimen of spike buck
that Huntington the hunter Drougn
home with him from the pheasant
chase.
Do von believe in black cats,
broken mirrors, picked-up pins and
all those many omens that are held
to point the pathway of the future
Mavbe vou don't, but Coach William
H. "Harris of the O. A. C. football
sauad. slumbered with a football
his arms on the eve of Saturday's
battle, when his merry men wrested
victory from the lithe and sinewy
Cotgars of Oregon University. "I
held the pigskin in my arms as I
went to sleep." confessed Coach
Harglss, "so the boys wouldn't fum
ble in the- game the next day. It
was in my arms when I woke, and 1
knew then that the game was a
cinch. 'Go to it, men:' I told the fel
lows. Tou can't fumble, for the
signs are with you.' The rest Is his
tory. They didn't fumble and we
wiped the field with the Cougar oppo
sition. Don't tell me fiere isn't any
thing in signs."
"I am seriously thinking of placing
an order for a Curtiss plane, or one
of those snoring big De Havilands."
declared Lee D. Drake of Pendleton, as
he left the Hotel Multnomah yester
dav on his return trip to the eastern
OreKon metropolis. Mr. Drake is one
of the owners of the Pendleton East
Oregonian and of the Astoria Budset.
These newspaper interests, widely
separated, necessitate frequent trips
from the interior to the coast and
vice versa. Mr. Drake believes that
the time element may be pared to the
bone if he travels by plane, and adds
that his only reluctance to take up
the innovation is the shortage of sta
tion platforms along the air route.
More Truth Than Poetry.
By James J. Moatagoe,
TIME TO PAY THE PIPER-
Down below the Rio Grande,
On the desert stretches sandy.
i-1 Presldente Carranaa
Cherishes a neat bonanza
But there's trouble in his forecast.
'Cause he's stirred up Uncle Sam!
South of Texas it's the fashion.
When the Yanks begin to cash in.
To Invite em to contribute:
And this simple form of tribute
Rids the greasers of all worry on the
uost or. bread and jam.
It was good stuff while It lasted.
But his plans may soon be blasted, I
tor i.1 Presldente Carranza,
As we said in our first stanza.
May read trouble in his forecast.
t-ause he s riled our Uncle Sam.
Thla Wins the Far-Lined MeanVlt.
The famous speech at the tomb of
Lafayette attributed to General
Pershing and others is still in the
minds of Americans. Last week a
crowd of homesick doughboys visit
ed the same spot. After a moment of
silent awe, one spoke up:
-vi y God, Lafayette, were still
here." The American Legion Weekly.
Ain't It the Truth. Blllf
Once with Ode and Elegy
I took a little fiver.
Straightway wtnged they back to m.
They couldn't find a buyer.
Then I tuned by cithern up
And cut some foolish capers
Dined on pie and claret-cup
And bust into the papers.
William Rose. Benet. in Sunset.
m
And Gayer.
What is the average life of a chick
en? asks a reader.
N hatever it is. dear reader, it Is
longer than it was when they sold at
lu cents a pound.
On the Contrary, If a Dark. Prospect
Dear L. L. D.: The real trouble with
tnese light wines Is that they're not
illuminating. N"est pas? Old Scout
If We Had Them Now.
I wish I had a Dinosaur:
I d keep It in the yard.
It could not come inside the door.
For that would be too hard.
Eleanor.
Tell It t Wilson.
Dear L. L. D.: Mav 1. Knott live in
Pittsburg", Pa. A. B. S.
For Prnteetlon. Mithr. Tk-.
Strenarth In Nnmbera.
TOUN'G trombonist would like to con
nect up with an orchestra for
amusement or otherwise. C 417.
Oregonian.
STATUTORY HOSPITALITY.
The food laws of England forbid
entertaining guests for more than a
week. Cable dispatch.
In England, when one'e wife's rela
tions Prolong beyond a week their stay
And there appear no indications
That they intend to go away.
One says: "I'd like to keep you longer
But though I love you more and
mora
My love for England's law is stronger.
When you go out, don't slam the
door."
In England, when a country cousin
Whom one's invited out to dine
Absorbs unaided half a dozen
Quart bottles of one's favorite wine.
One says: "I hate to be offending
To one I like and honor so.
But England's statutes are unbend
ing. So here's your hat, and out you go:"
In England, if a week-end party
v hen gathered round one s festal
board
With appetites a bit too heartv
Makes raids upon one's victual
hoard
One eays: "It fills my heart with
sorrow
As it will yours. I make no doubt.
But you must pack and go tomorrow
For England's laws I dare not
flout."
When guests with us prolong a visit
Beyond such limits as seem meet
We can't complain to them, nor is It
The thing to throw them in the
street.
The U. S. statutes do not eoften
An action that seems Impolite
Like hurling out a guest but often
One rather wishes that he might:
Undigested and Indigestible Securities.
Stocks are coming down, but what
good does that do? We can't wear or
eat them.
If at First Ion Don't Succeed.
After all these years Switzerland is
to have a navy, oven if she has to
launch it in the air.
Hood River, where the best z.7o
cider is made, reports a red, white
and blue lizard. The "insect" was
caught, probably, when an elephant
stepped on its tail.
A woman of 75, married five years
to a man of 55, is seeking relief in
separation. There ought to be a law
but what's the use in talking of
such afafirs?
If the American Legion does as
thorough a job in the Mason county
forest as it did in the Argonne forest.
there will be a complete clean-up of
the reds.
Winlock has better than a gold
mine if it continues shipping a car
load of eggs a week to New York
The hens around Wrinlock will be
famous.
The number of candidates for the
republican presidential nomination
is at least a sign that some astute
politicians consider it worth having.
It is up to Dr. Garfield to get the
miners back-to work, and it is up to
Mr. Palmer to learn by what influ
ence they are kept out of work.
If the administration really wants
to settle the Mexican problem, it
might turn- the whole thing over to
the American Legion.
A champion Oregon hen has laid
3 30 eggs in the past year. This un-
Behold. if thou hast sorrow, take it to the questionably makes her subject' to
tabernacle door and knock, I I .
And behold, there is no password save the
two pit-like eyes.
And a grasp which hath a soul within lt-
Oh. give me not wine or feast or muee:
Nay, give me such a man In whose eyes I
may look and dream dreams
Of depths and be led past the paltry argu
ments of men out upon the open sea
Of fellowship and understanding.
I the income tax.
Dr. Steiner need not be in a hurry
about changing the gallows room
into a kitchen.
Funny how men like to be twitted
Well may Mr. Masters have sighed ! about smoking stale pipes or bad
that lie wished that lie could write ! cigars,
A keeper at the New York zoologi
cal gardens disturbed a rather old
gentleman who was taking his rest
just in front of the cages of the
African lions, writes the New York
correspondent of the Pittsburg Dis
patch.
The man was doing no harm, as he
explained when awakened, but inas
much as he was seated upon the rea
sonably hard concrete an had al
lowed his skypiece to fall some dis
tance from him, the keeper thought
best to give him a gentle shake. In
exchange for wWch he learned some
thing. "It's all right," laid the ancient per
son who had dozed. "I didn't mean to
fall asleep and will be on my way
now. I come up here every now and
again and feel so contented that I
get 6leepy with comfort.
"I used to be an acrobat with Bar
num & Bailey's and the Cook Broth
ers' shows, and those were the happy
days. When I get up here the ani
mal odor makes me drowsy with
memories.
The Harvard college observatory is
making a systematic search for new
stars, according to Acting Director S.
I. Bailey, who states that every two
weeks a photographic study of the
milky way was made and the new
stars charted. Since this work was
undertaken several years ago,. hf
added, 18 new stars had been dis
covered. "We are also engaged upon a de
tailed study of the magnitudes - of
stars," Professor Bailey said. "In
certain specified areas, in co-operation
with Professor Kapteyn of Gron
ingen, Holland, we are making an es
pecially intensive study of both the
magnitude and positions of all stars
down, to stars about 10. Out) times too
faint to be seen with the naked eye.
There are something like 100,000,000
I such stars."
Western Idaho, like some lusty lad
who delights to saw wood, is making
raDld Droitress in all manner or de
velonment. declares Dr. William S.
Kennedy, past president of the Ore
gon State Elks' association, wno nas
returned from a three months' tour
of Washington and Idaho, during
which time he visited every Elks'
lodgs In the two states in the inter
ests of Elkdom s espousal oi tne aai
vation Army campaign. "Western
Idaho has Kone forward with remark
able vigor." said Dr. Kennedy, "and
is still on Its way. Its communities
are thriving and agricultural develop
ment is particularly keen. Oregon'B
sister state Is finding herself, beyond
doubt."
Some years ago he used to nurse
stone brnises and chase jackrabbits
In the vicinity of Lebanon, Linn
county, but he has now returned to
revisit the scenes of childhood at
successful rancher of the Alberta
country. "They all come back to
Lebanon." said Charles S. Smith, sub
ject of this sketch, "as pilgrims to
Mecca. It is the centr of the uni
verse and the American eagle roosts
there every night." Accompanied by
Mrs. Smith, the former Linn county
citizen spent several days at the Ore,
gon hotel, visiting local friends.
W. Van Horn, prominent Hood
River orchardist, is at Portland
Sanitarium for treatment following
an attack of illness sustained Satur
day, while visiting at the. Hotel
Portland. The stroke came suddenly
and resulted in the partial paralysi
of Mr. Van Horn's facial muscles.
His condition is said not to be serious.
Accompanied by Mrs. Van Horn he
came to Portland on rriday on
business trip.
An advance scout of Minneapoli
Sliriners who will visit Portland nex
summer at the national convention i
V. D. Jones of Minneapolis, an offi
cial of the Great Northern railway
rea-lstered. with Mrs. Jones, at the
Multnomah. During his visit to thi
city Mr. Jones is making arrange
ments for the accommodation of th
Minneapolis delegates who will attend
the 1920 assembly.
of Our
njlna for It Is the Least
T roubles.
The Literary Digest has an article
on "How to Get Coal Free," which
seems overdoing it a bit at a time
when few of us know how to get it
at all.
(Copyright. 1S19. by The Bell Syndi
cate, Inc.)
McCumber Lengue Reservations.
ELK CITY. Or.. Nov. 22. (To ih.
Editor.) I would like to know in full
what the McCumber amendment is.
HOMER DIXON.
Senator McCumber on October 21
introduced seven comDromise rpi-vn -
ions, the last two of which relate to
the vote of the British empire and
were generally called the McCumber
reservation to distinguish them from
the one on the same subject which
was introduced by Senator Johnson of
California. They are:
i ne united feta-tos reserves the right.
upon the submission of any dispute to the
council or the assembly, to object to any
member and Its self-governing dominions.
dependencies or possessions having in the
aggregate more than one vote; and in case
such objection is made the United States
assumes no obligation to be bound by any
election, finding or decision in which such
member and its said dominions, dependen
cies and possessions have in the airirre
gate cast more than one vote.
mat tne united States understands and
construes the words "disputes between
memoers ana the words aispute be
tween parties." in article l.. to mean that
uispute with a self-governing domini
colony or aependency represented in the
assembly is a aisputa with the dominant
principal member represented therein
and that a dispute with such dominant or
principal member is a dispute with all its
self-governing dominions, colonies or de
pendencies: and that the exclusion of the
parties to the dispute provided in the last
paragraph of said article will cover not
only the dominant or principal memher.
but also its dominions, colonies and de
pendencies. ,
Doubt
Hy tiraee K. Hi
11.
Man is not bound save by ais own
sick doubts
Which, like a vanquished army
flinch and cower.
Jeeringis high ambitions, recalling
routs.
Whispering innuendoes of his oower-
Hinting of lacks that circumscribe
his field.
Taunting of others who are richly
blessed.
'Til man to mawkish fears at lensrth
shnll yield.
And nevermore reach out for his
real best.
No man is &lave so much to anv force
That may convbine to thwart him of
his goal.
As to this poison, acting at the source
Of every effort, sickening the soul:
Outside himself, the circumstance
that rears
Its ugly head, defyins his advance.
Need hold no ultimatum based on
fears.
For he may overcome each thing of
chalice.
With mind of average mold, he may
aspire x
To what, on earth, another man
has done;
Not gift, but concentration, effort,
firi
Shall blaze the trail until the
victory's won;
"Advantage" oft means but the steady
plod
That some maintain, while others
step aside.
And doubt alone makes many a man
a clod.
When he had been a prince could
doubt have died.
Mr. and Mrs. W. E. Hampton of
Los Angeles are visitors at the Mult
nomah hotel for a few days. M
Hampton is extensively interested i
wood-pipe and water-tank factories.
with representation in several of th
Pacific coast cities.
Mrs. Thomas Terry, whose rest
dence is the Multnomah hotel, was
summoned to Cincinnati yesterda
morning by the receipt of a message
announcing the serious illness of he
mother in that city.
J. B. Kelly and Mrs. Kelly
Yacolt, where the former is general
manager of the Murphy Lumber com
pany, are at the Perkins during
brief visit to Portland.
George J. Stone of Astoria, wh
catches and cans the frolicksom
salmon as it ascends the Columbia, Is
at the Hotel Perkins during a busi
ness visit to Portland.
Mrs. J. G. Woodworth of St. Paul,
-wife of Vice-President Woodworth of
the Northern Pacific railway, is at
the Portland while visiting local
friends.
Potentate of two of Eugene's motion-picture
palaces is A. H. McDon
ald, numbered among recent busi
ness arrivals at the Multnomah hotel
Leo Wise, son of Herman Wise,
Astoria's pleasantly paternal post
master, ia among recent arrivals at
the Imperial.
W. E. Newton, general merchant
and stockman of Moro. is in Portland
with Mrs. Newton, registered at the
Hotel Perkins.
Elmer E. Matthews, land owner and
stockman of Fossil, is at the Multno-
IVon-Support Is Felony.
PORTLAND. Nov. 22. (To the Edi
tor.) wnat can be done with a man
(in New York) who deserts for more
than a year the woman who has been
his faithful wife for 16 years, leav-
ng her in the most wretched health.
to work far beyond her strength? He
is strong and able-bodied, of middle
age, has a government position which
he claims payfe only enough for his
expenses. He sends her no money. In
spite of all. She still loves him, being
utterly deceived by his whimpering
letters. His own declaration to others
Is that he means to leave her. In
terested distant persons have a very
great hesitancy in saying anything
against him " to her in her present
state of illness, but would like to
know if there is any law (except the
divorce, that would break her heart)
that can touch him. Could the agency
employing him be authorized to for
ward a just proportion of his salary
to her? Would half be a just pro
portion? What steps would be neces
sary for said interested persons to
take? She has no other resource ex
cept charity or enforced dependence,
and can no longer work.
SUBSCRIBER.
It is a felony in Oregon for a hus
band, financially able to do so, to re
fuse to support his wife. The law
also gives the wife a civil remedy.
But it may be impracticable for out
siders to do anything without the
wife's co-operation. She should be
Induced to consult the district at
torney. No National Holiday.
ASHLAND Or., Nov. 22. (To the
Editor.) 1. ' Is there such a thing
in the United States as a national
holiday? The holidays we call na
tional holidays such as Christmas,
Thanksgiving, Fourth of July and so
on are, as I understand, not national
holidays, declared so by congress at
Washington, but declared so oy tne
governors of each state in the union
and nationally celebrated, but not
national holidays. 2. Was November
11 (Armistice day) legally as much
of a holiday In the states in which
the governors of each state declared
t so. as any other holiday sucn as
Christmas. Thanksgiving, Labor day
and .Fourth of July?
H. B. CARTER.
In Other Days.
Xvventy-Flve Venrs Apro.
London. A dispatch from Cliee Foo
states that Port Arthur fell after a
battle that lasted 06 hours. China
has asked for peace on the terms of
paving Japan 25o.ooo.000 taels, equiv
alent to $175,000,000.
Washington Secretary of State
Gresham and Minister Kurino of Ja
pan, have attached their signatures
to the new treaty of amity and com
merce between the United States and
Japan.
Colonel W. H. Yarborough of North
Carolina, internal revenue agent for
a new district comprising Oregon,
Washington and Idaho, has arrived to
establish his headquarters here.
The United States fish commission
recently planted a carload of eastern
oysters in Palux channel, near Bay
Center, on the Washington coast.
Fifty Years Ago.
Newcastle. Drla. Five men were
publicly flogired in the jail yard at
this place yesterday.
Madrid Accounts have been re
ceived of a destructive earthquake at
the Philippine Islands. The loss of
property was very great.
The improvement of Morrison street
has begun. A plank roadway and
new sidewalks are to be constructed.
The Dalles The Wasco Woolen
factory sold at sheriff's sale to Benj.
Snipes for J:t25 over and above the
liabilities.
mab. for a few. days' visit to the citjr.lpends on the laws therein.
1. Congress has no Jurisdiction to
declare a legal holiday. . You have
given a good explanation of the so
called national holidays.
2. In Oregon the law authorizes
the governor to proclaim legal holi
days and when so proclaimed they
have the same force as legal holidays
appointed by law as regards court
procedure and payment of negotiable
Instruments. It has been held, how
ever, that a contract providing for
cessation of work on "holidays" re
fers only to holidays customarily ob
served and not to those specially ap
pointed. The effect of specially ap-
A Lasgosge of Grants Heard.
Kansas City Star.
An Italian missionary to central
Africa has found a tribe which uses a
language that cannot be written or
recorded. The Bacongo tribe lias
handed down all its history from gerv
eration to generation by words of
mouth, as the language Is composed
of queer sounds which to a European
ear, seem to be a variation of grunts
and gutural noises.
No one has yet discovered the
means of interpreting these sounds
into letters or signs. The codes of
morals and government are expressed
in proverbs. The motto of, the tribe
is: "Wherever man has passed, misery
follows."
Mineral Claim on Homesteard.
PORTLAND, Nov. 22. (To the Edi
tor.) A has taken up a homestead
and B finds mineral on A's land.
What will A do to hold his claim?
Has B any right to the located
ground? SUBSCRIBER.
Unless the agricultural claimant
has secured a patent for his land he
cannot hold control of It and the min
ing prospector would be able to con
test his rights. If you would go into
further details of the case apply to
pointed holidays in other states de- J the Oregon bureau of mines in the
I Oregon building, Portland.