Morning Oregonian., December 12, 1916, Page 10, Image 10

10
THE MORMNG OREGOXIAX, TUESDAY. DECEMBER 12, 191CL
chapman
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PORTLASI), TUESDAY. ' DEC, 12. 1016.
SIMPLICITY THAT DOESN'T SIMI'LIFT.
There is an important organization
Woodrow Wilson is its President
which is engaged in the worthy work
of improving state, county and mu
nicipal government. Its activities are
mainly centered on the short ballot,
which incorporates within its scope
the commissioner-manager system of
city government among other things.
In a pamphlet just issued, this or
ganization mildly commends straight
commission government as an experi
ment which has at least demonstrated
that simplicity is the key to practical
democracy.
Unfortunately the document does
not disclose the exact character of this
demonstration. It admits that com
missiftn government "has not yielded
all the happy results that its enthu
siastic supporters promised," and "that
while simplifying in one direction the
Iramers of the commission plan intro
duced new complications."
Our own experience indicates that
the sole simplicity accomplished is in
the ballot, not in the government.
Yesterday, in response to an inquiry,
The Oregonian obtained and published
a list of bureau heads and their sala
ries and of positions in tlfB city gov
ernment which pay more than $150 a
month. The list disclosed existence of
bureaus within bureaus and of Jobs
which the average citizen probably
was not previously aware existed.
Once upon a time it was the con
ception of democracy that under its
rule the people by their votes would
select their more important officers.
This idea produced a-complicated bal
lot and also promoted Indifference as,
to th character of men who oocupVad j
position low In the scale. Bwt the.
public at least was regularly re- j
minded of the number of its highly
paid servants. We gradually grew
away from the Idea while Btill under
the Councilmanio plan. Today we
elect five men to govern the city. Each
builds up an organization of his own.
The number of Jobs and the salaries
attached are revealed only to the com
parative few who take a diligent in
terest in the subject.. Very few
know to what bounds supervision and
Buper-supervision and officialdom have
grown.
Commission government in Portland
contemplates the vesting of legislative
and administrative authority in the
same set of men. Each Commissioner
Is a department head, but each finds
that the demands upon his time by
legislative duties compel him to ap
point someone else to be virtually the
department administrative head. For
that they are not largely at fault.
They must meet and consult with citi
zens who desire to discuss legislative
matters. They must familiarize them
selves with legislative problems arising
In each other's departments. To most
Intents and purposes Portland is now
paying $26,000 a year for legislative
services, whereas a strictly legislative
Council formerly cost but a nominal
sum in salaries. In addition it is pay
ing more for administration than it
ever did before.
In the first election under the new
charter it seemed to be a mark of
simplicity to elect an engineer to be
head of the department which, would
take over the duties of City Engineer.
It was done. The Commissioner
elected is a rood engineer. But he has
not developed simplicity. Yet he has
demonstrated a marked grasp of de
tail and occasionally discloses more
knowledge of a brother Commissioner's
work than that Commissioner reveals.
But we still have a City vEngineer
apart from the Commissioner-engineer.
We also have an assistant engi
neer, a structural engineer, three dis
trict engineers, while over in the
Water Bureau, under another Commis
sioner, is another set of civil engineers.
Street cleaning, in the average com
prehension, is employment, at ordinary
labor for the most part,vof men who
do not need expert direction of ex
traordinary character. In its street
cleaning department the city of Port
land employs a superintendent at $205
per month. The superintendent has a
chief clerk. There are three district
superintendents; two street foremen, a
shop foreman and two assistant street
foremen. Yet a year ago, when execu
tive ability was required to dispose of
Blush and snow in the streets, and
the Commissioner at the head of the
department which embraces the street
cleaning bureau was Indisposed, all
this superintendency and foremanship
did . not accomplish much. Another
Commissioner left his own work, put
on hip-boots, grabbed a shovel and
directed a force of men along the lines
of effective work. Doubtless there
was good reason why the street-clean
ing department at first fell down and
doubtless also it was connected some
how with the simplicity of commis
sion government. But so it goes down
the long list. .
. It is not surprising that there is dis
satisfaction with the "simplicity" and
other peculiarities of commission gov.
ernment in Portland. Our particular
brand of simplicity is costly. But pub
lic dissatisfaction has produced one
danger that It will be well to heed
There are some earnest and consci
entious advocates of charter revision.
On the other hand Individuals who
make or Attempt to make a livelihood
out of politics are seeking opporunity
to lead a bewildered public Into the
ways of "reform." The professional
politician can have but one object In
furthering a change in the charter, and
that is political spoils a return to
ward-heeling conditions in which a
Councilman here and there may be
subservient to outside influence to the
profit of his mentors.
The' old form of city government
lent itself to petty graft and some
times to manipulation by special in
terests. Commission government has
not been, free from the latter. The
people are now witnessing an attempt
by one Commissioner to sacrifice the
common Interest and to. frustrate the
judgment of a majority of the Council,
at the behest of certain labor officials
and representatives of a jitney organ
ization. That this is so complicates
the problem of securing" an econom
ical, efficient city government. Clearly
it is not a problem for a theap-skate
politician to solve. ,
The need in a general way is for di
vorce of legislatiye and administra
tive functions, separation of taxing
and disbursing authority, change from
a five-headed executive to a one
headed executive, and for a sort of
Jeffersonian simplicity that does away
with highfaluting titles and extrava
gant salaries for sub-positions.-'
The new Denver, charter .may fur
nish some good ideas to those wno are
conscientiously Interested In good gov
ernment and 'it is The Oregonlan's irf
tention to review it in a day or two.
Emcfnox A.i) football.
Football Is no the chief educational
activity of the State University1 of
Washington. This depressing ,blt -of
information will be a sensation in ath
letic circles and a surprise to those
careful newspaper readers who have
followed the course of the Washington
University -for a decade through the
medium of the sporting news., .
In all that time the Seattle football
team has not lost a game. The genius
who is held to be largely responsible
for .this proud record is the coach, a
Mr. Dobie. That gentleman. It seems,
is the professor of the chair of foot
ball, for which he has been paid a
salary approaching the university pres
ident's. Ttilent comes high, but It must
be had.
President Suzzallo has Insisted upon
dispensing; with the unapproachable
Dobie's services Decause he does not
regard him as a "vigorous .moral
force." Obviously the president has
reached .the heretic conclusion that
there is something to be required from
the members of a football team besides
unbroken victories in the field.
Not long ago, the university authori
ties interfered with Coach Dobie's high
prerogative and disciplined a star
player by denying him the right to play
in a match game. This unprecedented
interference in the sacred privileges of
the football heroes was resented by the
entire team, which "struck," what
ever that means. They would show the
university who was running things.
They did, but as it turned out it was
President Suzzallo. It is not yet quite
clear why he did not suspend the en
tire team and abolish football "from
the school curriculum, as least for a
few years. Yet no doubt be chose the
wisest course. He new dismisses the
professional coach.
Why a professional coach for ama
teur athletics? It Is a debatable ques
tion. But it is not debatable when the
service of the coach is to -instill a re
bellious jpirlt In t,h student against
the coltegaAWtfeprttle ad to give the
players the false notion that their
service to the state which is educating
them is more valuable than the state's
contribution to them.
NO TIME FOR MEDIATION.
The present course of events in the
countries of the entente allies is un
favorable for those1 who are moving
for peace, either in those countries, or
among the central empires or among
neutrals. The reverses suffered by the
allies have served only to drive them
into adoption of a more efficient or
ganization for prosecution of the war,
while their successes on the Somme, at
Verdun, in Macedonia, and on the
Isonzo River and on the main Eastern
front buoy up their hopes of final
victory.
ttussia replied to the proclamation
of independence for Russian Poland
and to the invasion of Rpumanla by
driving out a Premier inclined to a
separate peace and by closing ranks
behind a war-to-the-finish Premier.
Great Britain has placed the conduct
of the war in the hands of Lloyd
George, who declares it must be fought
to a knock-out, and of a small com
mittee endowed with almost dictato
rial power.' France takes a like
course and places General Petaln, the
hero of Verdun, in supreme command.
While the allies thus brace them
selves for war to the death, Charles P.
Trevelyan, the British statesman, pro
poses that President Wilson appeal for
peace "not to the governments, but to
the peoples of the belligerent coun
tries." He suggests that Mr. Wilson
might be able to say ihat Germany
was "ready to give up Belgium and
France if the British government
would negotiate," and he expresses the
belief that, though the reactionary
press would roar with indignation,
public opinion in favor of peace would
begin to form.
The war will almost certainly reach
a stage where the services of a medi
ator will be most useful in bringing it
to. a close. The 'President of the
United States is a logical man to act
that part. Were he to go behind the
backs of the allied governments in an
effort to create public opinion in favor
of a policy to which those govern
ments were violently opposed, his ac
tion would be regarded as aid to the
enemy and as distinctly unfriendly. He
would become an object of such deep
suspicion to the allies that his value
as a mediator at any future stage
would be destroyed. It is of deep im
portance to the interests, not only of
the United States but of the whole
world, that the President should keep
the way open for mediation at the op
portune time by taking no step toward
mediation when the time Is Inoppor
tune. - y
TEMPTATION.
So plain a question as "What are the
best safeguards against temptation?"
elicits five different answers from
seven prominent Americans. It ..is
clearly' not a question not to be an
swered with an epigram; it is too com
plex for that. Mr. Carnegie, for ex
ample, puts "high aims" ahead of all.
Yet the world is full of young men like
Mr. Theobald, whom Henry James de
scribes in "The Madonna of the Fu
ture," .who, for all his lofty ambition,
could not avoid the temptation to
fritter his life away in idle dreaming.
Dr. Lyman Abbott and Booth Tar
klngton have hit upon the same
thought. The former speaks of the In
fluence of a good mother, and the lat
ter of the influence of a good home, by
which, undoubtedly, he. means the
same thing, but he spoils it' by sug
gesting the Influence of fear to those
who - are without good home In
fluence. Fear in itself probably never
did any permanent good .for. anyone.
Oscar S. Straus and Irving Bacheller
agree that "will" is the one -thing
needful. "Knowledge," says Arthur
Brisbane. . "Healthy interest In good
things," says the Indian poet, Tagore.
All of these, except fear, are power
ful moral safeguards, but which one of
them would we be willing to do with
out? Which alone would be sufficient,
for other than the exceptional man,
who as a matter of fact needs few
safeguards?
Who among us is born "with the In
stinct for high almst that need no
guidance or definition? Governor
Hooper, of Tennessee,, was a street
waif, but he gave no little credit for
his rise to- the influence of .the good
man who adopted him. Tljere are not
many Oliver Twists, we fear. "Know
ledge" is a good thing, to be sure, but
something here is left unsaid. There
are different brands of knowledge.
"Healthy interest in good things" be
speaks cultivation, and implies good
influences and high aims and, of
course, knowledge, along with the rest
of them. , '' t
The will to resist is essential, but
some psychologists believe the .will to
be capable of development, not neces
sarily a thing of spontaneous growth.
Who will tell the man beset by tempta
tion how to buili up the will to re
sist it?
' Seven men have tried to give In a
few. words the solution of a problem
that has vexed the sages of the world.
And the question is still left open.
OTK ORE-T-OR.lSTIOTIIKRS.
Agnes Repplier, who never writes a
dull line, has a refreshing essay In
Harper's Magazine on our overrated
great-grandmothers. fhe picture of
these cannonized ancestors which most
of us have in mind is Of gentle and
submissive women, who were born
into the world mainly to teach it the
virtue of humility. But Miss Repplier
has made a conscientious investigation
of the subject, and she finds that our
great-grandmothers, far Trom spend
ing their lives in the kitchen or knit
ting In a great armchair by the fire
place, were assertive and strong-willed.
She devises a few illustrations tp make
her points. . .- "a
Take Hannah Dustin; of Haverhill,
Massachusetts. There is a statue cre
ated by the reverent people of Haver
hill, showing the redoubtable Hannah
with an ax. Hannah was captured in
her youth by Indians and taken to the
forest. Rising in . the night, she got
hold of an ax, and slew ten "of her
captors. In their sleep,, and returned,
happy and unharmed,.' t her home.
There is also the story of Christine
Zellers, of" Pennsylvania, who one day
killed three Indians who tried to
break In upon her through a window,
and then according to the early
chronicler "she returned to her do
mestic duties," presumably regarding
it as her husband's duty to take care
of the remains. Who does not re
member Molly Pitcher and the cannon.
the Intrepid Anne Hutchinson and the
big-minded Abigail Adams?
The purpose of Miss Reppller's es
say appears to be to show that the
women of an earlier day are the same
as the women of today courageous
or timid, self-willed or submissive,
militant or shy, competent or incom
petent as the individual character
was developed .by heredity or circum
stance. ' Quite likely.
DO BU-NOB TO GOVERNOR. STEVENS.
A belated proposal is made that the
state of Washington do honor to the
memory and perpetuate the fame of
its first Governor in territorial days
by erecting a statue of General Isaac
Ingalls Stevens in Statuary Hall at the
National Capitol. It is made by J. P.
De Mattos, ex-Mayor of Bellingham,
in a -.letter to the Seattle Post-Intel-ligencer
giving a graphic but brief re
view of Geperal Stevens' career.
A statue of ' Stevens, made by a
sculptor, of genius, . would stand out
like a giant among' pigmies, if it were
placed among the mediocre statues of
mediocrities which many states have
chosen as their greatest men. He was
one of the chief builders of the West
in its troubled, formative stage. Hav
ing graduated from West Point and
done valiant service as an Army engi
neer In the Mexican war, he was, at
the age of 35, appointed Governor of
Washington Territory when it included
Northern Idaho and Montana, but had
a white population of only 4000. and
swarmed with Indians who were more
or less hostile. He was at the same
time instructed . to survey the route
for a j railroad ; from the Mississippi
River to Puget Sound. He organized
the scattered settlers into law-abiding
communities, fought the hostile In
dians and then negotiated treaties of
peace with them, and on his return to
the capital compelled Jefferson Davis,
then Secretary of War, to publish his
reports of theraHroad survey, which
the latter had pigeonholed through
prejudice against Northern develop
ment. That survey- proved the scheme
to be feasible and was used by the
Northern Pacific.
The close of General Stevens' career
closely resembles that of Colonel E. D.
Baker, of Oregon. . On the outbreak of
the Civil War, he Joined the Union
army, where he rose to thjB rank of
Major-Genej-Efl. . He. was killed at the
battle of Charrtilly on September 1,
1862, at the head of his division as he
waved the flag of his old regiment,
much as Baker fell at Balls Bluff.
General Stevens was a figure in Na
tional as well as state history. The
result of the work he did for his terri
tory transcended its own boundaries.
His fame extended beyond the Pacific
Northwest to every state where his
deeds were known. In honoring its
first great man. Washington would
honor itaelf.v For the ' same reasons
Oregon would do itself like-honor by
placing a statue of its soldier-Senator,
'Baker, beside that of Stevens,
WRECKING THE NATIONAL GUARD. .
The .' , bill Introduced by Senator
Borah,' repealing that. part of the Hay
Army law which Federalizes the Na
tional Guard, should be passed as the
first step in clearing the way for real
preparedness. ' The Hay law- has al
ready failed atall points except per
haps in providing' a Job for Mr. Hay's
friend,--whd, was -a judge in. the
Philippines'- It has not enlarged the
regular Army,; except !on paper, it
has hot provided a reserve, it has not
established ' a citizen Army and, in
connection with - the - Mexican border
service. It' has wrecked the National
Guard. ,
At the precise time. ; when the law
providing for Federalization .became
effective, - the .- National Guard was
called into active service. The circum
stanceswere such, that Its members
had good reason to .believe they were
to be employed in .active hostilities
against Mexico and that, if hostilities
should not develop, they would be re
quired to protect the border only for
such short time as would be required
to recruit the regular Army up to the
strength where it . would - be able to
perform that duty unaided. There
have been no hostilities, the regular
Army has not been recruited even up
to the peace strength provided by the
old Jaw, and the Guard has now en
tered upon the sixth month of its bor
der service. The Guard feels that it
has been cheated. It .was enrolled to
defend the Nation in " times of great
danger and to keep the peace In times
of civil strife; it has been employed
to serve as a watchman or policeman.
Let no man or woman venture to
say that the Guard Is playing the baby
act. Its members voluntarily assumed
an obligation to render -patriotic serv
Ice ' to the ' country ran obligation
which the vast majority of their fellow-citizens
avoided. They were pre
pared, in. the event of war, to be the
second 'line of defense behind the
regular Army. In such an emergency
they 'would have sacrificed business
or employment and would have left
their families to take care of them
selves; they would have done so with
out complaint, .regarding it as one of
the unavoidable incidents of war.1 They
feel thLt they have been called upon
to make these sacrifices on false pre
tenses. The .only serious danger, of
border raids arose from the fact that
Villa an his band were at large. An
army of regular soldiers was already
in Mexico for the. purpose of running
down Villa when the Guard was sent
to the border. - That army could, long
ago have disposed of Villa, and'With
him . of the necessity of the Guard's
service, had it been left free to pursue
him, but since the time when the
Guard was mobilized that army has
been held motionless, forbidden to
stir hand or foot, though- Villa has
been ravaging the country all around
it. " The regular troops which should
have replaced the Guard have not ap
peared'and the Guard has been kept
on the border month after month. Its
members have seen their business go
to ruin, their families reduced to want,
and with a rankling sense of bitter
wrong they vow that never again will
they be the victims of such deception.
Guardsmen by the hundreds have
sent In their resignations, but few have
been permitted to resign. ' They are
chained , down , by the Federal oath.
They are receiving valuable physical
training, which, it may be said. Is
malting them soldiers, but morale Is
of . equal importance with physical
training In the making of a soldier.
The main ingredient of morale Is de
votion to and patriotic enthusiasm for
the cause In which a soldierls enlisted.
How can such sentiment exist in the
same breast with a sense of wrong
done by the Government; with a con
viction that the service the men are
doing Is' not that for which they en
listed: with the belief that this service
is either unnecessary or should be done
by some other organization? Guards
men are vowing that, when the term
for which they enlisted expires, they
will have no more of it. The prospect
is that the Guard will, melt away aa
fast as the )aw allows. The Guard is
being destroyed, not only as the second
line of National defense, but as a state
force for the preservation of Internal
order, and all the forces of anarchy
rejoice. ,
Having first cleared . away the
wreckage It has made of the National
Guard. Congress has before it the
urgent duty to provide an army ade
quate for all present needs, and to re
quire all citizens to undergo that mili
tary training which the Guard took
voluntarily. In a few years the Na
tion could make the transition , from
the present costly . and unsuccessful
voluntary system 'to- a new system
which employs as the peace strength
a proportion of the trained citizens
sufficient for- all peace service, and
which enrolls all others in skeleton
organizations to be filled up in case of
war. All our experience goes to prove
tnat mis is the only real preparedness.
That system is as necessary to man
our expanded Nvy as to provide a
greater Army. The enlarged personnel
of which Secretary Daniels boasts ex
ists only on paper. The Arizona went
to sea only by taking the entire crews
of three other battleships, and at that
was 164 officers and men short. We
wan$ no paper Army and Navy; they
only encourage us to court defeat.
Winter brings its' added menace to
children In the open fire, too often
neglected in homes where there are
little ones. A circular hv tho 'Nrr.r-fh
Carolina Board of Health calls atten
tion to the startling fact that 192
babies were burned to death in that
state last vear. nnrl Vi TaiiftibI
American Medical Association records
tne Durnmg to death In the past five
years -of 458 children In the registra
tion area of the' ftnnntrv of lnrtNt
Among children less than four years
uiu, casualties are somewhat more
frequent among boys- than girls, but
from that time forward girls are In
Increasing degree the worst sufferers,
there being six times as many girls as
bovs between ifrt and twantv .v. rt
victims of this form of accident. This
is acceptea as indicating that girls'
clothing Is an important source of
dancer In cnnnpptiAn ti-i f . AnAn
' b.lV -' f 1 . 11IO
and as pointing to the desirability of
continuing tne romper stage as long as
possible for girls at play. These tragic
deaths resultine from hnma a rn i!iH-
fled in vital statistics in the column of
deaths Trom preventable causes." "
The State Horticultural Sooletv mna
a slow start of its meeting at Hood
River yesterday, but with Colonel
Bateham on the job will make good
progress, ueam has been busy In the
ranks of horticultural workers in the
past year: Atwell. Cardwell nd Power
were- men who will be missed.
Report comes from rVoolr Cmtnr
that sheep- are invading the ranges
and cattlemen ear ruin, which shows
that the angel of peace is hovering
with spread wings over the region.
umerwise toe news would be a recital
of casualties. . . ;
y
'Revision of the corrupt practices
act by Democrats may include a plan
to count" the "nigger" vote In the
South: likewise the sun may rise, in
the West some morning when nobody
is looking. v.
Robert R. Butler is too well known
as a stalwart Republican of Oregon
to need trouble himself, to answer the
petty sling of a Democratic paper.
Omission of the king in prayers In
the Greek church Is nothing. Chap
lains in Congress seldom include the
Vice-President.
An Increase of pay of lower-scale
Government employes is Just, but In
the case of higher-ups la a salary
grab.
People who would revel in anew can
gratify the desire by motoring out the
Columbia Highway.
France-, contemplates a new War
Cabinet, but the Kaiser Is content with
the partnership.'' ,
- The man who drinks himself to
death with alcohol knows that nobody
mourns him. -.
- The new traffic rules were bent
yesterday,, but must not be broken to
day. "
The strike of grand opera singersJ
is jusc a ainerence in the yells.
Lloyd George's cold is In his headV
never In his feet.
Earl Curzon has a "fawncy"" for
American wives,
Gleams Through the Mist.
By Desna Collin-
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING SONG.
Ask nothing more of me. Sweet!
A11VI can give thee I give!
Heart of my heart, the whole store
Gladly I'd purchase complete;
But it costs something to live
After glad Christmas Is o'er
Ask nothing more of me. Sweet I
Ask nothing more, nothing morel
All things were nothing to give.
Had I the price, O my Sweetl
Knick-knacks and gew-gaws galore
I'd shower down like rain through a
selvo; "
You'd have a wardrobe complete
And shine like a new Jewelry
store
Ask nothing more of me, Sweetl
Ask nothing more, nothing more.
"Christmas comes once and no more?"
You've said a mouthful, my Sweetl .'
And when it's season's arrlv"
Gosh, how the prices do soar!
Till in one gift, at thy feet.
My anriual earnings I giver
Ask nothing mora of me. Sweet.
Ask nothing more, nothing more.
Note To Algernon Chacjes Swin
burne. Elyalan Fields, Hades. Sir:. If
the paro were better I would apolo
gize, but it Isn't; so I won't. Ed.)
'Mother note Rhyme employed un
der special license. Bag limit for a sin
gle season threerhymes of this type.
NOT SO BAD, AT THAT.
.-
. Captain Foldat and Bob Chesney and
Jack Pennington and other hardy
Vikings that guide the destinies of the
steamer Wfepama up and down the
coast used to tell me a few trips back
what a hard, -hard life the sallorman
has, never- sticking in one port long
enough to get homesick when he leaves
it again, and all that.
And then ah then, the Wapama
came rolling into St. Helens and we got
a paper and found that Oregon had
gone bone-dry.
. And so I reached for my kettle
drums and. trolled the following deep
sea chantey. Just to show the captain
and Bob and Jack how much sympathy
they get from me:
A life on the ocean wave,
A home on the rolling deep.
Where she pitches when you shave.
And she tosse when you sleep 1
Oh, a sailor man may fret '
And a sailor man may sigh s
But a lot of the -ports are wet,
..Though a lot of the ports are dry!
j
CHORUS.
A Ufe on the ocean wave,
A home oft the rolling deep,
Thoarh you sometimes kick and rave
Sure. I envy you a heap.
Euppos!n you had to stay v
In a dry Northwestern port?
You'd have a good right to say
That sailing's a dreary sport.
Like an eagle caged, I pine
In the Port of Portland, here
While you're off o'er the heaving brine
To the city of tall Etea.m beer.
Your stay In the ports is brief
And you leave in a little while, ,
Which yon say Is a cause for grief.
But I think is a cause to smile.
For the Northern coast is bleak
For a long, long stop, I think.
But you never are more than a week
From a place you can get a drink.
A life on the ocean wave,
A home on the rolling deep:
Ah, Jack, you may kick and rave.
But I envy you a heap.
Like an eagle caged I pine
In the dry belt day by day
And you're off o'er the heaving brine.
Bound for wet San Pedro Bay.
CHORUS.
- A life on the ocean wave
Is nothing to niake you Bob!
I'm a poor old Dry Belt slave
And I'd certainly like your job.
DRY STUFF.
Last Sunday a grape-Juice Jongleur
swung upon his harp and called down
all the curses of tha apocalypse upon
the Demon, In an answer to Orr Smith's
lamentation over ' the departure of
booze from the state. t
Quite as rabid as M. C. Armstrong,
the grape-Juice Jongleur, is Orris Kel
lar of Wapinitia, who now comes Into
the Bards' Bonedry Saengerfest and
doesn't appear to be satisfied with any
thing, even going back a few years to
pay his respects to Fern Hobbs ywhlch
we would call cherishing malice.
Thus singejh Orris Kellar, of Wapin
itia: I used to think thjs U. S. A the one
best place on earth;
And I was always proud to say: "'Tls
the land that gave ma birth!"
I thought I'd always be content to stay
right here below;
If all my friends to heaven went, ' I
didn't care to go.
But things have changed right smart
of late, I'm unsettled, in my mlnde
And I kinder think I'll . emigrate and
leave my woes behind.
Maybe I'll go to Europe and help to lick
tha Dutch. " '
Or maybe fight the English It doesn't
matter much;
For It seems this whole 'creation has
simply gone to smash.
And a feller's kinder Justified in acting
somewhat rash.
There's a woman 'now in Congress and
the Legislature, too;
I reckon next she'll be President, and
boss the whole darned crew.
But there's -one- thing I remember that
I learned when a kid at school
That Rome began to tumble when the
women began tp rule. ,
And yet that's not the worst of it,
. though I say It with a sigh .
The country's Democratic and Oregon
bone-dry. j . "
My old friend BUI says": -Live it down!"
But I say what's the use?
Your sorrows you can't never drown,
with Fern Hobbses rupnin' loose.
And so I think I'll emigrate. Which
way I cannot tell,1 ,
But I guess it couldn't be much worse
if a feller went to
(
Note Censored,)
Burled Alive.
i Kansas City Star.
"Oh, come! come!" we sneered. "Did
you ever actually know any person who
was buried alive?"
"Well," replied the venerable Mls
ourlan, "I once had a second cousin
who was elected Lieutenant-Governor."
' i
A Suspicions Moment.
Life.
Hi- Wlfo "Charles, dear, you- are
growing handsomer every day."
Tm sorry, Isobel, tut I'm rather hard
up at present."
-1
BOYCOTT OF TEMPORARY VALC
Bat Gambling; in Food Products Is
Best Point for Attack. .
PORTLAND. Dec 11. (To the Edi
tor.) Professor Horner has toucned
an important factor In solving the high
cost of living problem. The social
waste is a 20th century tragedy, and
where should elimination of it begin
more sanely than in the home? We not
only waste food supplies, but nearly
everything else comes In for a good
share of waste.
Dr. Harry Ward, of Boston Univer
sity, In a recent lecture said: "The
enormoua waste in the present system
of marketing and -distribution would
relieve the hardship of the whole
world and it 'is estimated that this
waste amounts in a year to S6000 for
every person in the country." Dr. Ward
advocated public ownership of publie
utilities as the only means of correct
ing the present system of production
and distribution.
Dr. Irving. Fisher, of Yale, declares
that the waste of human life and
strength is by far tne greatest waste
and the most Important waste, and
that in order to conserve this waste
there will be necessary a revolution in
our way or living.
Roberts, of parliamentary order
fame, says that conservation is no new
problem; that the Bible tells us "to
gather up the fragments that nothinsr
shall be lost."
The etudy of food values cornea In
here and should receive more atten
tion from our housewives. i
In looking up the many reasons for
present conditions I found some extra,
ordinary figures: Fifty per cent or
more of every dollar we spend in tha
effort to live goes to those-who handle
the product and , who do practically
nothing to produce It. Here looms up
the mlddlerean vBlde of the question as
an eoonomic social factor to be dealt
witn. l met a "cattle kins:" not Ion
ago who assured me that it cost more
t-o raise cattle because of insufficient
range, that civilization had encroached
on the cattleman's preserves, and he
further said that "we in the United
states win ee looking to South Amer
ica for our meat supply."
When it comes to solving this prob
lem im remedy or the boycott may
be of much temporary value, but until
we can find some way permanently to
curb or control the economic power;
in other words, until the trusts, the
corporations, the cold-storage evil, can
be Investigated and Inspected more
thoroughly and the evils and abuses
tnerein aDoiished: until the "wheat nit
of the stock exchange is abolished; in
fact, until it is made a crime to gamble
witn tne necessities of life, this prob
lem will stay with us. Th
League can do much to alleviate the
situation, and can unitedly work for a
netter commercial system In the land,
' - L. H. A.
REGULATION IS NOT OPPRESSIVE
Carver Franchise and Jltnenrs Teat!
mony Show Its Reasonableness.
PORTLAND, Deo. 11. fTo the Efll
tor.) A more flagrant abuse of public
oiiice tnan Mr. Daly's attempt to ii
press upon this city an unregulated
Jitney service is seldom witnessed.
What his motive is may be inferred
from his opposition to the franchise
sought by Mr. Carver, who offers term
far more favorable, both to the city
and to the people to be served, than
nave been proposed for the Jitneys.
A jitney operator recently testified
under oath in the Circuit Court that his
net profit frqm a f ive-j)assenger Jitney
was is to per aay. arter paying: for
gas and wages of his driver, and that
when he alternated from Jitney to "for
hire" his net Income was "12 to $15
to $18 per day." As his testimony was
not controverted1 it must be taken aa
true. This effectually disposes of tha
contention that Jitneys cannot operate
under a reasonable franchise
If the aim is to bankrupt the street
car company, render suburban property
worthless and compel working men who
live far out to move into downtown
apartments and lodging-houses so they
can ride in Jitneys, then the new serv
ice ought to submit to the same regula
tions as the railway company.
C. H. SHOLES.
LIXNTOW HAS JITNEY TROUBLE
Cars Crowded! Men Smokei Cmse Calls)
for Mr. Baker's Services).
LINNTON. Or., Dec. 11. (To the Edi
tor.) While there is being so much
said about regulating the Jitneys in
Portland, why can't we who live in
Llnnton have something to say? We
as a people have rfo street railway, no
accommodations at all. We sre-aU.
great and small, packed in jitneys as
long as one more ean be packed. ln
There we are men puffing their to
bacco emoke on our heads and in our
faces until we can hardly breathe.
What would become of us all if we
were tipped over? We would have no
chance for our lives.
The women have to sit on the mtn'i
laps. I am sure that is not pleasant
for them, nor is that the way our
women should be treated Just like
cattle crowded in a car. Why don't
they let the man have the road who
will put on the big buses and treat
people white and not carry more peo
ple at a time than there are seats for?
We need Mr. Baker to look after us.
We surely need his help If ever a peo
ple did. I do hope and beg the city
will do something for us before it Is
too late.. A. G. A.
SCIEXTISTS ARE PUT TO ROUT
This Man Really Saw Homrkalr Tarn
Into Live Worn.
DALLAS, Or Dec 11. (To the .Edi
tor.) In The Oregonian a few days
since I saw a piece in regard to horse
hair worms, in which the writer ap
peared to be in doubt as to the fact
that a horsehair would become a worm
if put in waterfor a certain length of
time.
r This I know, to- bo a fact that I put
a horsehair about a foot long in water
when I was a child and it turned to a
worm.
Itfy father told me how It was done,
and I followed his instructions. Under
a tree oVi the river bank near his house
was an old barrel, sawed in two; he
told me to wash it out clean ard fill
it nearly full of water out of the river,
or rain water, put the hair in it and
cover it with an old sack, which I did.
I let it alone for a long- time. but. child
like, I would raise the sack and peep
in occasionally, and I discovered It
was turning white gradually. Finally
motion and life came to it. M. J. P.
GeneroiHr of Mr. Pniler.
PORTLAND, Dec. 11. (To th Edi
tor.) The death of George F. Fuller,
late United States Inspector of pollers
In this city, has been the subject of
an article recently published In The
Oregonian. in which his estimable qual
ities and generous nature were given
full expression by one who knew Mm
well by having almost daily interviews
with him in his official capacity during
many years.
Eulogy, however, has no place in
this simple memento by the writer to
the memory of his departed friend. Who
(living) looked upon encomiums as
unmeaning flattery.
The following, incident and fact (as
but one of many others) bear testi
mony to his unselfish and generous
disposition:
The writer, some years ago, had an
opportunfty to engage in a promising
line of business, but had no mosey with
which to take advantage of the same,
and, after unsuccessful effort? to ob
tain the necessary funds, he mentioned
the matter to Mr. Fuller, who at once
advanced the needed sum, for which
ho knew no security could be grtven.
.' 'v. ARTHUR F. MERRILL.
In Other Days.
Twenty-Mve Years An.
From The Oregonian f December 12. 1S81.
a the Citv Connfll m--,nn.
v . ".u.-jin vu
Thursday evening an ordinance was in
troduce" empowering tne liquor license
committee to employ one or more com
petent persons to investigate the char
acter of persons applying for liquor
licenses and to visit saloons to sea If
the law Is complied with.
Haxr York. Dec 11 A A i
a revolution in the Hawaiian Islands
seems inevitable. The natives are de
termined to overthrow the present mon
archial form of government and estab
lish a repuDiic
iuo w wires oi tne
Ciy & Suburban Rtllway Company
' " --n . ' "... Auuiucuijr owuu
First, the. extreme southern end of
meir "J "....., uwwu iuirq street to t.
- ""' Ji uia ini
bridge Is causing more diseussion on
.1 fact CM. ,V. H . . . .
iuo ua.- . -w .uo.il quj uiaur question.
jiivei j o.wfc nviu x-. to jl, jias its aa-
vnft9. and thev tnllr n r. .-(-
ticular claims with vigor.
Half a Century Ago.
From The Oregonian ef December 12, lses.
New York. Deo, 9 Friends of Colo
rado contemplate the early admission
of the stata.
Tha United Rtnt.. ft,.,,!
Judgment of $10,000 against Ben Holla
day for loss of a money package near
Julesburg two years ago.
At Walla Walla a barrel of mountain
trout has arrived, consigned to some
lucky fellow in Portland.
Tha Oregon City paper mill was sup
posed this week to be ready to com
mence work, but some changes to the
machinery were found necessary. The
alterations may occasion a delay of two
weeks.
Convicts in the State Penitentiary
are unsupplied with reading- matter ex
cept four or five greasy-backed Bibles
and about the same number of hymn
books, and it is suggested that those
who are disposed to exercise Christian
charity supply this want.
ARMY SEEDS MANEUVER GROUND
No Reason to Protest American Lake)
Unless -We Can Offer Site aa Good.
PORTLAND, Deo. 11. (To the Edi
tor.) As one citizen of Portland I
wish to enter an emphatic protest
against any action of the Chamber of
Commerce which might be interpreted
as opposing, for selfish reasons, estab
lishment by the War Department of a
division headquarters at American
Lake, Wash. If we can find 70,000
acres of equally good ground for Army
maneuvers close to Portland and the
Columbia River, and can . raise tha
money to purchase it and present it to
the Government, let's do it. But to,
protest against the American Lake de
velopment merely because it might
make unnecessary the maintenance of
the fort a Vancouver would be inex
cusably narrow and unpatriotic Such
a course could only be based upon
utter ignorance of the facts, if I un
derstand these correctly. Moreover,
from Ufe best information I have there
is little likelihood of the abandoning
of Vancouver in any case.
With 60 other Portland men I spent
a month at the business men's mili
tary training camp at American Lake
and Fort Lawton last Summer. Our
observation confirmed what we were
given to understand was the view of
the Army authorities generally, that
American Lake was a superb camp
ground for large bodies of troops, and
one of the best maneuver grounds
available anywhere in the country. The
soil is a- mixture of sand and gravel,
totally unfit" for cultivation, but troops
can be trained on it 365 days in the
year even in this climate, whereas X
do not know of any other ground in
Western Oregon or Washington where
troops could possibly be trained off of
the paved roads during the long rainy
season. The Government planned the
purchase of the American Lake land
years ago. But the owners of the land
raised the price absurdly and the War
Department abandoned the project until
they should come to reason. If now
Tacoma plans to bond itself and present
the site that obstacle will be over
come. Unfortunately, our business men's
camp was moved to Fort Lawton, Just
outside of Seattle, early in our month's
traihlng. And Fort Lawton is aa. un
fitted for military use -aa American
Lake is desirable. Mr. Stephen Appleby,
who is heading the movement invTa
coma, was one of the active spirits in
our camp, as also in the preparedness
camp of 1915. While Tacoma is un
doubtedly in large part selfish in this,
it will at the same time be doing a
splendid patriotic service if It carrlea.
the project throifgh.
If I recall correctly, we do not have
a single army post in the United States
where an entire division of troops can
be maneuvered at once. Practically
none of the "Generals" of our Army
have, therefore, ever on a single occa
ison had opportunity to command a
division of troops at one time, let alona
an army. Whether they could do it or
not. if war came, only a kind Provi
dence knows. They have had a little
experience commanding a regiment or
so years ago, and have been promoted
on regimental experience for political
pull), with -no chance to see whether
they have the slightest conception of
how to command a division -or an array.
We cannot try out oursUenerals or
give them experience till . we have a
place to do it. Moreover, the lesser
officer or private soldier, is largely
worthless In a campaign until he has
drilled In an array and not merely in
a company or regiment. They are a
paper force, much like a militia that
drills a little once a week or so and
forgets most that it knows between
times. They simply give us a false.
confidence. Only extended drilling of
men in large units (a division at least)
will ever give us a real army of men
fit to command It. " ,
I conclude as I began. If we have
a better site, let's present if: If Van
couver is such, urge it on that ground.
If we haven't, then help Tacoma give
the Government the only drill ground
thus far,- perhaps, available- in the
United States for large maneuvers. Let
us boost for a drill ground in the North
west. And next lmo we can ask Ta
coma to help us, if we have the best.
place to locate something. Lets bo
patriotic and forget this petty pork
barrel idea of getting for- ourselves,
even if the National Interest demands
something else. Senator Chamberlain
is chairman of the military affairs com
mittee for the whole United States. IC
anyone is getting an unfair advantage
ask him to Interfere in our interest,
but not otherwise.
ARTHUR M. CHURCHILL.
. He Knew. .-;
From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
A young man dropped into a state of
coma, and it was several days before
he fully recovered. Later be spoke of
his experience with a party of friends.
"Oh, yes," the young man said in re
sponse to a question. "I knew all the
time what was going on, and I also
knew that I wasn't dead, because my
feet were cold and I was hungry."
"I see," thoughtfully said one of his
friends, "but how did that make you
think that you were still alive 7"
"Well." answered the young man, "I
knew that if I were in heaven I
wouldn't be hungry, and that if I were
anywhere else my feet wouldn't be
cold."