10
TIIE MORNING OREGONIAW. TUESDAY, APRIL . 18, 1916.
m$B
PORTLAND, OREGON.
Entered at Portland (Oregon) Fotofflce
itecand-claM mail matter.
Subscription Rates Invariably in advance:
t Rv f ait k
rafly. Sunday Included, one year fft.OO
Daily, Sunday lnr-luiied. six month! 4.-.1
Laily, Sunday lnciu-led, three montha...
iJally, Sunday lncluoed, one rnoolh
liiii.v. without Sunday, one year
Dally, without Sunday, six months 3 .:"
Imilv with.mr Smhiimv Ihrca montha. ... 1
Iai;v. without Sunday, one mon in . . . . -0
Weeklv cm . vear ............ 1
fcundav. one vear U.5
Sunday and "Weekly, one year.......... St.OO
Hv rarrler I
Daily, Sunday included, one year
xai.y, eunuay niciuueu. one moniu
How to Kemit Send DoBtofliee money or
ier, express order or personal check on your
loral bank. Stamp, coin or currency are at
sender a risk. Give poatomee aaur.ees iu
lull, includinje county and state.
I'oMare Kutm l:! to 16 pages. 1 cent: 18
to a-' iatfes. '1 i-ents: 34 to 4 ut-s. 3 cents:
6 to tio Daees 4 cents: 62 to 76 pages, 6
cents: 78 to pages, 6 cents. Foreign
postage, double rates.
Ka-lrrn Iiiiine Office Verree & Conk
l!n. i;rutiswi( k building. New York: Yerree
A Conkiin. Merer building, Chicago. fan
Francisco representative, II. J. Bidwell, 7--Market
street.
PORTLAND, TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 1916,
AN EYE-OPENER.
"When the Portland business men
visit, the Takima Valley next week
they will without -doubt be profoundly
impressed by the progress and wealth
of that section of the state of Wash
ington. It is a rich and smiling: coun
try. Its people are hospitable and
friendly. It is all right to promote
neighborly terms with them. The Ore
gonian would not for a moment dis
courage the enterprise of those who
have promoted the excursion. But it
now seems opportune to point out that
unless certain conditions are called to
public attention this event is likely to
be productive of little more than
Oh's! and Ah's! of admiration, cordial
handshakes and fond good-byes.
The truth is that the jobbers of
Portland have not a - look-in on the
trade of much of the Yakima Valley.
Nor can they secure a share of that
business by mere promotion of ac
quaintance. As the crow flies it is about 125
miles from Portland to North Yakima.
As the crow flies it is about thesame
distance from Seattle to North Yak
ima. Yet the shortest route-by rail1
from Portland to North Yakima is
320 miles, while the rail distance from
Seattle to North. Yakima is only 163
miles.
Naturally there is not a parity of
freight rates. If the Portland Jobber
would compete with the Seattle Jobber
for Yakima trade he must quote lower
prices for the same quality of goods
or absorb the freight differential
Even then he is handicapped by slow
ness of delivery incident to longer
haul. -
There ought to be direct rail con
nection between this city and North
Yakima. The obstacles to -construction
are not nearly so great as those
which have been overcome by the
Northern Pacific in. connecting North
Yakima with Puget Sound. Topo
graphically, the Yakima Valley Is
Portland's trade territory. Practical
ly, it is Puget Sound's, despite an in
tervening mountain range.
If one will examine the entire length
of the North Bank railroad from
Portland to Spokane 377 miles he
will discover not a single feeder for
that road extended into territory
served by either the Great Northern
or Northern Pacific, the two railroads
which own the North Bank. There is
but one "Washington feeder for that
great and expensively constructed rail
road. It is the line to Goldendale.
From Goldendale to North Yakima
it is about fifty miles in a straight line.
Sixty to seventy-five miles of new con
struction would give Portland direct
rail connection with North Yakima,
It is a logical extension. It is one
that would have long ago been built
had the North Bank been an inde
pendent line. If built it would put
the Yakima Valley more than 120
miles nearer Portland. It would open
that country to the competition of
Portland merchants. It would traverse
a good country and it would undoubt
edly put the Goldendale branch on
a paying basis, which now it is not.
Yet, so far as the public knows, It
la not even projected.
Since the North Bank railroad was
constructed the Chicago, Milwaukee
& St. Paul has extended its system to
the Coast. That railroad, young as it
is, has not neglected the construction
of feeders. In building them it has
paid little or no attention to whether
those feeders invade territory already
erved by another railroad or two.
But the North Bank road sits con
tentedly among the castellated hills
of the Columbia gorge and takes Jhe
crumbs the Northern Pacific and the
Great Northern choose to throw it.
The people of Portland, we are con
fident, are not ungrateful to the North
Bank Railroad for the business it has
brought to this city. But they have
expected, and they have a right to
expect, more of it than It has pro
vided. If the Portland excursionists will
bear these facts in mind when looking
upon the wonders of the Yakima Val
ley they will see the commercial folly
of permitting', without protest, the oc
cupancy of a tremendously favored
railroad route for a purpose which
primarily seems to be the exclusion of
other users and not development of
traffic. They will likely return as mis
sionaries in a great cause.
DixosAnts.
The little coterie of old ladies of
both sexes which persists in adhering
to peace-at-any-price dreams has
delved into natural history for sus
tenance and unearthed the armored
dinosaur as its emblem. Where, oh
w here, are the dinosaurs of yesteryear?
they cry. Despite its heavy armor the
creature has passed on. Whereupon
the militarists conduct a reconnois
sance into natural history and discover
the dodo bird. It could not run or fly
or fight and it, too. Is extinct. So New
York is regaled with pacifist parades
headed by replicas of armored dino
saurs or with preparedness processions
bearing the Impotent dodobird.
About the' worst thing the pacifists
could have done was to open the chap,
ters of natural history. The eternal
strife for survival began with the dawn
of animal existence and continued re
lentlessly through each succeeding
form. As for the armored dinosaurs,
were they not masters of all they sur
veyed until a more powerful form came
to claim the feeding grounds? The
armored dinosaurs made life miser
able for the unarmored species. They
drove their unprepared brothers into
the waters for safety, while a third
species maintained a precarious earthly
existence by developing fleet limbs.
The armored dinosaurs survived for
millions of years after their pacifist
neighbors had become extinct. If these
powerful brutes and their successors
finally perished was it not because
Nature developed a new power in the
world the power of ideation, the
power to hurl a stone or wield
a club. Now the brainy, predominating
form of animal life continues the life-
long struggle. Even now the armored
dinosaurs of Europe are fighting ove
the feeding places while the unarmed
dodos of America, perceiving that
great expanses of water may not pro
tect them forever, are seeking to equl
themselves against the new menace o
the distant horizon.
WHAT ARE THEY THERE FOR?
The American troops have gone into
Mexico, under explicit instructions to
avoid exciting the resentment of th
native population, and especially
admonished to have no conflict with
the Carranza troops. The pacific at
titude of the President and the Wa
Department is thus reflected in
paragraph from an Associated Press
account of the fight at Parral:
Major Tompkins was still averse t
fighting anything but a defensive manner
against this force, since every officer wh
has entered Mexico with the punitive ex
pedltion has had It Impressed upon him
that clashes with the troops of the de facto
government muat be avoided.
. But when the United States troops
acting in strict accordance with the!
orders, retreated before the disorderly
and belligerent Mexicans, and fired at
them only through the necessity of
self-preservation, we find this:
General Funston said tonight that whll
Major Tompkins undoubtedly acted In ac
cordance with his best Judgment In retreat
ins. l: regretted mat no naa not mane
a stand on account of the bad effect the
story will have on the Mexican people,
who naturally will regard the Incident as
an American defeat.
Dear, dear! We wonder what ought
to be done with a General who thinks
the soldiers are sent to Mexico to
fight, and not to run. Court-martialed
of course!
WHICH T
The esteemed Post-Intelligencer, of
Seattle, is disposed to indulge in t
measure of mild sarcasm over the lat-
est Portland project for participation
in Alaskan trade. It has this:
Portland ha, nothing to lose except
money, and everything to gain except trade
by such an enterprise, and, further. It
has no commerce to lose to Seattle by
reprisals.
Snugly located 125 miles up the Columbia
River from the sea, the city Is In a position
to look the trade of the world In tho eye
and fondly wish for It. No plan Is too
ambitious, no trade too comprehensive for
Portland to wish for, or Indeed try for, if
it so elect.
Like niendower, the Portlandera can call
spirits from the vasty deep: but will they
come when they do call for them?
It may be said that, if Portland de
cides to-' risk its own money in
establishment and operation of an
Alaska steamship line, it will be Port
land's loss, or gain, as the case may
be, and no other's. We suspect that
until Portland makes up its mind
thoroughly that its salvation commer
cially lies within itself, no great for
ward movement toward Alaska trade,
nor other ocean-borne traffic, will be
made.
It is interesting also to get the Se
attle view as to the disadvantage of
a port situated 125 miles from the sea.
It is to be inferred that Seattle now
regards itself as an ocean port, and
not as a city snugly located ISO miles
from the sea, on a long and deep in
let, which takes its waters through
Puget Sound from the Pacific.
It is strange that when it comes
to consideration of the question of
parity of railroad rates with Astoria
Seattle chooses to look upon itself as
an inland por and when it comes
to a definition of its geographical re
lations with Portland, Seattle imme
diately assumes the status of an ocean
port.
POWER OF PCBLJC OPINION.
By mail to every newspaper editor
of the country come daily the cam
paign offerings of the two parties to
the threatened railroad strike. The
transportation brotherhoods have a
publicity bureau at Cleveland; the
railroads have a "well-organized press
agency. Each is prolific with argu
ments supporting its side of the con
troversy. This evidence that employes and
employers now realize that public
opinion generally directs the outcome
of a labor controversy leads us to in
quire why public opinion should not
be formally made the arbiter in la
bor disputes, instead of being left to
formulate in haphazard way.
That is the method in Canada and it
Is successful. There neither side
pledges itself or is compelled to abide
by the result of the hearing. But
strikes must await inquiry and effort
at settlement by a commission, which
Is a conciliator as well as Judge. When
one side or the other will not yield to
formal findings, then public opinion
ultimately brings it to time.
As American employers and em
ployes admit they need the support of
public opinion, it is time the Govern
ment stepped in and gave to them in
Justly measured doses.
AN OrT-DATED OBJECTION.
The principal objection to the per
petual grant of public land to water
power companies is that these compa
nies would include in their charges an
income on this property which had cost
them nothing and also on the increase
in its value from year to year. That
assumption Is directly contrary to pres
ent practice of public service commis
sions involving public utilities for
ratemaking purposes. It is contrary
to the principles followed by the Ore
gon Commission, as defined by J. P.
Newell, its consulting engineer, in an
article published by the Engineering
News.
Two basic principles must be fol
lowed In the valuation of public utili
ties, says Mr. Newell. These are:
Tho "fair value" of property devoted to
puM:c service Is the highest value that can
be found for the property in any use, publlo
or private.
The values arising from privileges granted
by the public for the sole purpose of serving
the public cannot De made the basis ox
charges against the public.
One of the "privileges granted by
the public" is the right to condemn
property, which the Western Water
power Conference proposed that the
Government give to power companies.
That right is not a right to acquire
absolute ownership; it is a right only
to apply property to a public use. The
land used can only be included in the
company's investment at actual cost;
no unearned increment can attach
to it.
Were power companies permitted to
acquire powersites and right of way
over public land free of cost under ex
isting Federal law, they would not be
permitted to add anything on that ac
count to the value of their investment
as a basis for rates. The same state
ment is true of municipal franchises to
such companies. Mr. Nev.-ell says of
all these rights:
They are giver solely for the purpose of
enabling the grantee to serve the public
They cannot be used except in public service.
Thy are not granted for private ue, and
any profit arising from them Is purely inci
dental. There is a. growing tendency among;
courts and commissions to deny any fran
chise value In rate regulation, except under
unusual circumstances.
This being; the practice which courts
and commissions show a growing ten
dency to follow and which many com
missions already follow, there is no
cause for alarm lest free use of public
land become the basis of inflated valu
ations on which rates are to be paid.
If corporations choose to inflate capi
talization on this score, they are free
to do so, but cannot harm the con
sumer, for utility commissions ignore
capital stock and bonds, going behind
them to the actual property repre
sented by them in order to ascertain
the value upon which rates should be
paid.
The arguments in favor of Federal
leasing and against perpetual right-of-way
grants apply to a condition of af
fairs which no longer exists, and are
therefore obsolete. They would have
been valid fifteen or twenty years ago,
but are so no longer.
OCR INCOMPETENT COOKS.
Senator Smoot must have received
his housekeeping bills for the pasf
month or else his breakfast had not
agreed with him when he arose In the
Senate the other day to remark upon
the incompetence of American house
keepers. His observations were not
gentle. "It is a crime," he exclaimed,
"and is wicked in the sight of God,
to have the products of the farm made
next to useless by poor cooking. Tens
of thousands of homes are ruined by
helpless and ignorant housekeepers,
and the American garbage can is the
fattest in alr-vthe world."
Legislation should follow. Plainly
enough the abuse has reached a point
where something must bj done. It is
inconceivable that the Senator will
look for adjustment solely through
publication of his strictures in the
Congressional Record. Why not an
Interstate cooking commission, a sys
tem of Federal control or compulsory
service in the kitchen for all able.
bodied women between the ages of
eighteen and forty-five?
A Federal bureau and a secretary of
kitchens in the Cabinet should be
made a part of the plan. Make it a
felony to burn the pudding or spill
the beans. No National problem is in
greater need of solution unless it is
that of getting something to cook.
PREPAREDNESS IN" 186S.
In these days, when preparedness
for perils from abroad has become the
watchword of the Nation, it is inter
esting to recall the spirit with which
the people turned from the Civil War
to face like perils which then menaced
them. During the first year of the
war there was constant dread of in
tervention by Great Britain and
France on behalf of the Confederacy,
and on January 15, 1862, J. W. Jolui
son. Assistant Adjutant-General of
Washington Territory, issued a proc-
amation, headed:
Paternal vfcilance is the price of liberty.
To arms! To arms!! To arms!!!
After announcing the danger of war
with England and France, it reads:
The storm Is gathering! Let us then look
well to it that it does not burst upon our
heads while we are unprepared!! Let us not
remain quietly a: our firesides and permit
the ruthless savage to be turned upon us.
"Wei: do we know it has ever been the policy
of those nations to arouse the merciless
ace, whose inhumanity is too well known
to require comment.
Let us then thoroughly organize the mlli
tia. receive arms and equipments and be
ready, at a moment's warning, to defend our
nomes like men.
He who prate of love of country and will
not place himself in readiness, in time of
danger, to defend It. Is unworthy of .that
proud name we all bear, American citizens.
There was no thought then of in
ability to withstand one foreign na
tion or of warning American citizens
not to exercise their rights lest they
offend that nation. Though the coun
try was engaged in civil war and
though the weak settlements in Wash
ngton were surrounded by hostile
savages, they did not flinch, but, in
pired by the sentiment of the last
paragraph we have quoted, they en
rolled themselves for defense against
rebels, Indians and two foreign foes
at .the same time. The spirit of 76
was still alive from 1861 to 1865. It
may be needed now.
EFFECTS OF PEACE ON BUSINESS.
One of the most remarkable devel
pments of the trade boom growing
out of the war has been the enormous
increase In production of pig iron. The
total . for March, 1916, -was sixty-one
per cent above that for March, 1915;
nd the Iron Age estimates that, if
this rate of output should continue,
the year will show a total of 40,000,000
ons. This would be two and one-half
times the production in 1901, the year
in which the steel trust was formed.
and would be six times the production
of 1887, the year when most railroad
mileage was constructed. As the out-
ut of the steel works Is contracted
far ahead, there is a good prospect
that this record will be made.
In discussing the probable effect of
peace on business conditions, the
Financial Chronicle does not indorse
James J. Hill's prediction of depres
sion in our industries following the
cessation of war orders and continuing
while Europe slowly and painfully re
covers from the war. The Chronicle
foresees a possibility that "the loss of
his foreign business may be made
good by a greater home demand and
that In such revival of the domestic
inquiry our railroad transportation
systems would play the most prom
inent part. It says:
It would not be strange If the railroads
should now regain their former position
hrough a great augmentation In their con-
umptlve requirements of Iron and steel and
other products. After a long period of
hrlnklng revenue, they have, since last
September, been enjoying phenomenal ex
panslon In revenues. Current returns are
howinr 20 to 25 per cent gain In gross
revenue and in excess of 50 per cent gain
in nt revenues. This puts them in position
to spend money with greater freedom and
they have consequently been giving orders
latterly on a more liberal scale than for a
long time past. These orders will go to
fill tho void to be created by the withdrawal
of fcrelgn orders on the ending- of (he war.
By thus filling the void in demand
for steel, the railroads would help the
country more easily to undergo that
readjustment of commodity values
which will follow the falling off in
foreign purchases and the reopening of
foreign supplies. Prices of metals
have doubled and trebled in the last
fifteen months, while chemicals have
risen to. four and more times their
former value. These will come down,
but consumption of steel may be main
tained at a high figure not only by
railroad demand but by exports for
the rebuilding of railroads, bridges
and factories in Europe. Continued
activity in the steel industry will re
act favorably on those industries which
supply it with raw material and, by
sustaining the consuming capacity of
those -who are engaged in steel-making,
on all other Industries.
Nor is the opinion that peace will be
followed by the dumping in this coun
try of low-priced, competitive mer
chandise from Europe shared by Alex,
ander Dana Noyes, financial editor of
Scribner's. He believes that labor will
not be cheap in Europe, but that the
Labor party will hold the balance in
the British Parliament and in dictat
ing wages. He quotes a symposium of
"practical German business men" as
showing them to be unanimous in pre-
dieting that "to enable the people to
meet the heavy taxes imposed for war
expenses, wages of labor must be
either maintained or advanced, in spite
of the fact that they are now un
precedented! high."
If these predictions should be veri
fied, the "pauper labor of Europe"
may prove to be a thing of the past,
and the United States may be able to
compete with Europe on equal terms
as to labor cost, while it will have an
advantage in greater use of labor
saving machinery. This is one of many
economic results of the war which it
would devolve upon a tariff commis
sion to study out.
WHY WOMEN LIVE LONGER.
pr. Albert U. Burr has set out
to explain why women live longer than
men, and he accomplishes his pur
pose with one sweeping broadside di
rected against use of tobacco. If
women live longer than men it is be
cause they do not smoke, he tells us,
and by way of laying a foundation for
his charges seems to prove, with the
aid of United States census reports,
that women do live longer than men.
According to these figures, men come
into the world in a preponderance of
number, there being 1076 males of
five years of age to every 1000 females
in. the United States. This lead is
maintained by a narrow margin until
the highest-age groups are reached.
At seventyehe women have overcome
the handicap and are thirty-three in
the majority out of every 1000 of pop
ulation. At the 100 mark there are
1576 women to every 1000 men. In
the state of Massachusetts it is shown
that of thirty-five centenarians thirty
were women.
With these figures as a foundation.
Dr. Burr lays it all up to the physio
logical effects of tobacco, which is de
scribed as inducing deleterious changes
in the cells and tissues of the vascular
system. Thus the subtle toxin of nico
tine brings on cardiovascular presenil
Ity in those who are addicted to to
bacco. The fact that tobacco acts as a
slow poison, requiring long years in
which to perform its deadly work, is
held as its chief danger, since the
warnings are not heeded by the hap
lees victims.
In this the doctor is probably cor
rect. It would perhaps be rather dif
ficult to alarm a devotee of the fra
grant and soothing weed by warning
him that he might live to be only ninety-seven
instead of 100 unless he fore
swore the allurements of tobacco
However, the remedy suggested is not
unreasonable or drastic. Dr. Burr
would not legislate against tobacco,
but he urges that its perils be heralded
broadcast and that teachers, preachers,
fathers and those to whom the younger
generations look for moral conduct, set
the goodly example of abstinence.
One night, when George W. Peck
was Governor, he was the principal
speaker at a temperance rally in
Wisconsin town. On the speaker's
desk was the customary glass of wa
ter. At one of his periods he raised
the glass, brimming full, and discov
ered a fly floating on the surface. He
could not flip it out, and he did the
next best thing. That raised a titter
that grew into a roar of applause,
which Peck met in his genial way by
explaining that a man from Mil
waukee could not take a drink of wa
ter without first blowing the foam
from the top.
If Villa is really dead, his identity
should be established beyond doubt
and his body should be buried deep
with a great weight over it. If this
be not done, either bogus Villas will
plague Mexico for years or his grave
will become a shrine to every bandit
With the wireless carrying bulletins
between churches, the saints would
have difficulty in reviving the hermit
industry. If a modern Simeon Stylites
were to roost on a column in the
desert, his meditations would be dis
turbed by an S. O. S. call.
The dignity of the United States is
disturbed by a 16-year-old Greek boy
wtjn smuggled himself into this coun
try and he may be deported and the
United States lose what in a few years
would be a good citizen.
If report be true that more than a
million Armenians have been killed by
Turks "through ill treatment and star
vation, one need have no doubt which
side the Almighty Is on in this war.
New York actors may attend a mili
tary training camp, 1000 strong. If
each could be provided with the full
dress regalia of a Lieutenant-General
the plan could not fail.
The Germans who talk of blowing
up the ships interned in the United
States forget that, while the dyna
miters are busy, Uncle Sam may be
busy also.
To do away with warrant shaving,
county employes of the lesser class
will be paid twice a month, which is a
good way to overcome an evil.
Portland's reputation as the best
baseball city on the Coast must be
maintained today by making the rec
ord attendance of 20,001.
The only means the Greek Cabinet
can find of holding its Job is to ad
journ Parliament before Venizelos gets
control.
The man whose will gives widow
and divorced wife equal shares did the
best he could to square the record.
Gifford Pinchot was given a medal
yesterday for "distinguished "services"
in stirring up all kinds of trouble.
He's an old grouch of a boss who
goes to the game today and does not
let the "boys" off.
Umbrellas are barred at Twenty
fourth and Vaughn. This Is not a
hoodoo year.
A bootlegger easily is found, guilty,
but with the man who pays rent it
is different.
Villareal Is the new revolutionist to
succeed Villa dead.
Mr. Beals, you are all right, and the
fans will prove It.
The first rose has bloomed and the
season is on.
The Evening Telegram is "fair, fat
and forty."
Uncle Sam, Coroner, must first see
the corpse.
Poor Grandma!
ernoon.
She dies this aft-
She'll be an old-time opening day:
Gleams Through the Mist
By Dean Collins.
THE DAY OF DAYS.
Look at the throng, full of Jubilant
cusses
Hiding on streetcars and jitneys and
busses.
Who are they? What are they? Where
are they heading? -
See the excitement a-spreadLng and
spreading.
Until the whole city seems headed one
way,
And humanity flows to the ball park
t today.
Oh, pity the chap who must stick to his
labors
While all of his friends and compan
ions and neighbors
Have pulled down the roll-tops and put
on their lids
And skidded away upon frolicsome
skids.
To join the mad mob of exuberant
screechers
Who perch on the grandstand and bask
on the bleachers.
The poets may burble and babble and
sing
About the sweet fiowrets that bloom in
the Spring,
But say, there was never a lovelier
crop
That springs from each store and each
' office and shop
And blossoms in all the available room
Today in the ball park the fans are in
bloom. " i
Doc Anderson, Dcidrick and Polltz and
Pangle
Are mixed mid the fans in tumultuous
tangle;
Bill Strandbourg is out with the maniac
band;
The voice of Ed Werlein Is heard in
the land;
And, betting the Beavers a sure pen
nant-taker.
Looms over the others Commissioner
Baker,
John Coffey is there in the Tanks of the
loyal;
Doc Emerson's caught in the Joyful
turmoil;
Bob Stevens is out and Dow Walker is
there;
Doc Smith has forsaken his medical
lair;
Judge Gatens and Berg are inviting all
comers
To join the mad fans such as Stubling
and Sommers.
Gadzooks! I could jingle like this for a
year
Announcing the fans as today they ap
pear.
A-thronging the street and a-throng-
ing the ground.
And shooting and scooting and tooting
around.
Pervading the landscape till every man
In all the wide city seems out as a fan.
I may say at random, if fandom alone
Can sport the high nest whither
Vict'ry has flown
And bring the bird back just like well
trained retrievers
By jove, it looks good for the hopes of
the Beavers;
For it seems everybody is out and
aflame
To start things off right for the open
lng game.
"Sir," said the courteous office boy,
you Know there is a baseball game
this afternoon, and "
"Well?" I retorted, coldly.
"Well, you know my grandmother '
began the C. O. B.
"Aha!" I snarled, sinking my talon
in his throat. "You expect to put over
that grandmother's funeral gag on me
do you?"
"No, sir," said he, with - an upright
expression. I merely wished to 4ell
you that grandmother went through
my pockets last night and swiped my
passes to the opening game, and she
and grandpa refuse to give them up
But he got no further, for I had gone
to beg the Sporting Ed for another pass
for the courteous office boy, who was
able to put a new front on the grand
mother myth.
SOLEMN" THOUGHT.
With Eastern hats all in array
Suppose It rains on Easter day.
THAT SHORTEST POEM CONTEST.
To Editor In reply to your invita
tion concerning knowledge of a shorter
verse than
Miss;
Kiss;
Bliss;
I suggest:
Matrimony;
Alimony.
Hoping you will not deem it a cyn
ical ending of the "bliss," I remain.
M. D. L.
P. S. I am not a spinster.
(M. D. L. is getting warm, but she
still misses the shortest poem in the
language. Unless it Is guessed soon.
we fear that we shall be obliged to tell
it ourselves. Ed Note.)
NAMES IS NAMES STILL.
Lincoln Jones was lost one day;
They searched the river's brink
Till he was found, then cried, "Hooray!
"We've' found the missing Link."
When Glenn, In error, at a pin,
Then all the solemn medic men,
Consulting, said: "Let's now begin
To go a-hunting through the Glenn."
An altruistic furniture engineer came
up the other day ana put tne castors
back on our office chair.
Now it rolls so easy that we can't
indite a noble line on our typewriter
without giving ourselves a shove that
shoots us clear out into the telegraph
room.
Moral: Handsome is as handsome
does; or, a rolling chair and its occu
pant are soon started.
Penalty for Bigamy.
THE DALLES, Or.. April 16. (To
the Editor.) (1) What is the penalty
for bigamy?
(2) Is it necessary .for a person mar
rying a bigamist to take any legal
steps to free themselves?
(1) Imprisonment of not less than six
months nor more than one' year In the
County Jail or of not less than one
year nor more than four years in the
Penitentiary. A fine of not less than
$300 nor more than $1000 may be levied
in some cases instead of County Jail
sentences.
(2) If bigamy is proved the second
marriage is automatically , made null.
To make a record of the fact the court
will always grant an official annul
ment of marriage.
Formal annulment should always be
obtained by a party to a presumably
illegal marriage if marriage to another
is contemplated.
UNJUST ASSIMPTIOS IS TAKES
Newspaper 1'nJnstIy Construes Vote on
McLemore Resolution.
VANCOUVER, Wash., April 16. (To
the Editor.) In the Portland Journal,
in the editorial, "A Crazy Leadership,"
I notice the following sentence:
"The 102 Republican Congressmen
who voted for the McLemore resolu
tion wanted to take no chances on war
with Germany."
Now, is it true that 102 Republican
Congressmen voted for the McLemore
resolution? Is it not a fact that the
vote in Congress was on the tabling
of the resolution? And is it not a fact
that many Congressmen who voted
against tabling the resolution statod
that they were strongly opposed to the
resolution, but that they did not want
to stifle debate upon it?-
If these are the facts, is it just and
right to say that these Congressmen
voted for the resolution, when they
were opposed to the resolution, but
merely wanted to have a debate upon
it?
It appears to me also that the edi
torial alluded to, and other editorials
that have appeared in the Journal,
intimate and insinuate in an extremely
bitter and unjust manner that every
one who sincerely believes that thi3
Nation should uphold its sacred rights
is a blood-thirsty monster and wants
to "cram war" onto their fellow citi
zens. As every sensible person knows, we
do not want war any more than Presi
dent Lincoln wanted war in 1861, but
we do firmly insist that the rights of
this Nation be maintained and the
lives of its citizens be protected. We
do not ask any of our citizens to waive
or neglect any of their undisputed
rights; we want them all to be freely
exercised and maintained inviolate,
now and at all times. That is what
we insist upon not one jot more, not
one whit less. We will fight all com
promises on this proposition and all
cowardly McLemore resolutions.
GLENN N. RAUCK.
LITTER 'OS COLUMBIA HIGHWAY
People Who Mar Beauty Should Be
Punished, Says Writer.
PORTLAND, April 17. (To the Edi
tor.) Can nothing be done to stop the
indiscriminate throwing of paper, pic
nic boxes, tin cans and other litter
along the Columbia -River Highway?
The conditions along the road last
year were disgraceful. Picnic parties
after occupying beautiful spots would
leave behind them quantities of paper
boxes, paper napkins, empty tin cans
and other picnic rubbish with never a
thought as to how it looked or how
objectionable it was to other pleasure
seekers who had some sense of decency
and refinement.
The- comments made by many of our
visiting tourists were far from pleas
ing, and the disgraceful condition of
affairs last Summer was not flattering
to our civic pride.
e have invited the world to come
to see our wonderful highway, and
what opinion will they have of us as
a community when they see such evi
denccs of vulgarity?
I have seen some of the finest drives
in Europe, and along only a quarter
of a mile of our highway I have no
ticed more rubbish than I did along
miles and miles of Europe's highways.
If a tew arrests were made and real
punishment meted out (Jail sentences
not fines), then this pernicious prac
tice would stop.
GEORGE P. DEKUM.
I
Range of Ksval Guns.
PORTLAND. April 17. (To the Ed
itor.) Please inform me the total dis
tance 12, 14 and 15-inch guns wil
shoot, mounted on a battleship.
A READER.
It is difficult to give a specific an
swer to this question without creating
a, false impression. There is a differ
ence between maximum range and ef-
lectlve range and the danger to or
wear on a gun is considered in putting
it to use. Furthermore, individual
guns of the same caliber vary. An ef
fective range in a battle at sea be
tween ships may be much shorter than
an effective range in bombardment of
fortifications. Generally speaking a
rifted cannon will carry obout one mile
to the inch ot caliber up to 12 inches.
Experience in the European war indi
cates that guns of larger caliber may
send a projectile proportionately far
ther. Dunkirke was bombarded at
distance of 22 miles. Yet when the
British ship Lion, carrying 13.z-inch
guns attacked the Blucher she waited
until about eight and one-half miles
distant.
Origin of Saylntrs.
PORTLAND. April 17 (To the Edi
tor.) (1) Kindly inform me which is
correct: "Will you have more potato?
or "Will you have more potatoes?"
(2) Also, if the expression is "Mad
as a hadder," or"'Mad as a hatter." and
where did the expression originate?
(3) Also, if the expression is "In
the nick of time," and where did this
originate? A READER.
(1) Either way if referring to a dish
prepared of rotatoes; use the plural if
referring to two or more potatoes.
served whole.
(2) "Mad as a hatter" is correct. The
term originated in England. The com
parison was probably ironical when
first invented and was designed as a
forceful expression to denote extreme
anger. Its present meaning is Insanity
or dementia.
(3) "In the nick of time" is simply
an often-used phrase, of plain meaning
when one knows that "nick" may bo
defined as "the critical moment or
point."
Ground Rent for Garage.
OSWEGO. Or., April 16. (To the Ed
itor.) A lets B have ground enough
to erect ,a garage on, charging him
nothing, but there is no written agree
ment. After one year A sells his whole
place to C, but tells him the garage is
owned by B. B and C never meet till
one year later, when he tries to collect
$30 rent for use of ground.
C did not tell A or B that he ex
pected any rent and as ground was not
being used, such a thing was not ex
pected by B.
Kindly state if rent can be collected.
II. A. W.
If C had knowledge of the arrange
ment between A and B that no charge
would be made, he probably could not
force collection of rent without first
giving notice to B. In event judg
ment was given C in a legal action it
would be only for a reasonable amount.
Secretary and Cabinet.
MONMOUTH, Or., April 16. (To the
Editor.) In the Oregon Blue Book the
secretary to the President is included
with the Cabinet officers. Our text
book does not include the President's
secretary. Would you please give us
the correct information?
E. L. RUDEN.
The President's secretary is
member of the Cabinet.
not a
Enlisted Men In Army.
FOSSIL. Or., April 15 (To the Edi
tor.) Kindly print in The Oregonian
the number of enlisted troops in the
regular. Army of the United States, ex
clusive of the state troops.
W. N. BYARS.
Approximately
listed.
80.000 actually en-
In Other Days.
Twenty-five Years A (to.
From The Orcgonlan of April IS. 1801.
Chicago. April 17. The fight between
Phoebe Cousins and the executive com
mittee of the lady managers of the
World's Fair over the secretaryship
continues.
A number of ladies are anxious to
see a Woman's Exchange organized and
conducted in a businesslike way in thia
city.
It is understood that the cable rail
way is to be extended out Jefferson
street to the west boundary of the City
Park.
The Arlington Club has secured for
their new home now in course of con
struction 100,000 Japanese brick that
came over on the Eclipse sometime ago.
The boat-building business in this
section now looks more promising than
it ever has before. No less than i-'8 new
steamers are at the present time in
course of construction at points on the
Willamette and Columbia rivers.
Half a Century Afro.
From The Ortgonian of April IS, 1SG6.
Pennsylvania boasts that of the 21 8
state flags carried by their regiments
to meet the rebels, but four were lost
and those in battle.
I
The Boston Advertiser is Informed
that Mr. William Dean Howells. late
United States Consul at Venice, is to
assist Mr. P'ields in editing the At
lantic Monthly.
"The stockholders of the Southern
Pacific Fin ilroad have held a meetinff
at New Orleans to take measures for
the early prosecution of the work. Th
road is proposed to be constructed
from the Texas state line to El Paso,
a distance of 800 miles.
Surveyor Burrage has just finished
a map of McMillen's Addition to East
Portland, situated on the right bank
of the Willamette River on a portion,
of the land claim of' Jacob Wheeler,
opposite the gas works. East Port
land is really branching out.
VALLEY LOOP IS PLEASANT TRIP
aic.Miniiville Autoists Offer Good Ad
vice to Portland Brethren.
M'MIXN V1LLE, Or., April 16. (To tho
Editor.) A great many people of the
Willamette Valley have thus far not
had an opportunity to motor over the
Columbia River Highway. Sunday is
about the only time that businessmen
can very well absent themselves to
make this trip, and the reports of the
congested conditton or this highway on
Sunday is having a tendency to dis
courage them from making this antici
pated trip.
It has occurred to many automobile
owners that this would be an oppor
tune time to call the attention of the
Portland motorists to what might be
termed the "Willamette Valley Ioop."
Jf they were to occasionally travel over
this loop on Sundays, thus giving oth
ers an opportunity to see the Columbia
River Highway, we believe it would bn
a very desirable thing to do. It is
with this object in view that I wish to
call your attention to the Willamette
Valley Loop. It contemplates a trip
through the beautiful Willamette Val
ley, leaving Portland and coming out
Sixth street and over tho Terwllliger
boulevard, and over the West Side
Highway through Newberg, McMinn
ville, and thence through the fine farm
ing country and over the rolling foot
hills to Dallas; thence from Dallas
through Monmouth and Independence
to Salem, and then over the Tacific
Highway into Portland.
Tliis makes a run of about 125 miles.
There are many beautiful streams
where parties can stop and eat their
lunch if desired, or accommodations
"an be had at hotels at any of the more
prominer.i. towns.
Such an arrangement would be to the
mutual advantage cf both the country
and city motorists. This West Side
Highway would also be a very desir
able run for Eastern tourists to make,
and there are many automobile owners
throughout this district in the valley
who are only waiting a favorable op
portunity to -motor over the Columbia
River Highway, but until the congested
condition is relieved they are going to
be slow to do so, and many are of the
opinion that if the Portland motorists
would divert some of their travel to
this Willamette Valley Loop it would
give others an opportunity to see tho
Columbia River Highway and its beau
tiful scenery.
M'MIKXVILLE AUTOMOBILE CLUB.
By G. S. Wright, President.
Origin of "Gringo."
DALLAS. Or., April 16. (To the Ed
itor.) Recently a correspondent made
an inquiry as to the origin of the
Mexican name "Gringo." No definite
explanation was given or attempted.
The other day I was reading in the
Globe-Democrat an article by John
Paul Dana, ao American who had lived
in Mexico City a number of years, and
who was well acquainted with the ed
ucated class of that cosmopolitan capi
tal. He became interested in the
name "Gringo" and made many inqui
ries as to its derivation, etc. Finally
an old gentleman, a literary Castilian,
handed him an old Spanish newspaper
which purported to give the origin and
etymology of tho name.
It would seem that at the time of
the American invastion of Mexico one
of our popular songs was "Green Grow
the Leaves of the Hawthorne Tree."
Tho American soldier sang this popu
lar song from Vera Cruz to Chapulte-
pec and from Tampico to Monterey,
just as the British "Tommy Atkins" is
singing "It's a Long Way to Tippe
rary" along the Flanders battle line to
day.
The Mexicans became familiar with
'Green grow," the accented words of
the song. In the , evolution of time
this became "Green-grow," a compound
word, and finally became condensed
into tho euphonic epithet, "Gringo." as
now applied to all Americans.
A plausible explanation, but whether
historically or etymologically correct
I am not able to say. J. T. FORD.
Adjournment of Congrress.
PORTLAND, April 17. (To the Edi
tor.) When does Congress adjourn
this year? CONSTANT READER.
The date has not been set. The pres
ent Congress, however, will automatic
ally expire March 4, 1917, if not sooner
adjourned.
Heaviest Daily Reftlfftrntion.
PORTLAND, April 17. (To the Ed
itor. In recent years -what was the
largest registration in one day?
READER.
August 14, 1913; 3182 in a single day.
This year the heaviest day so far has
been April 17, when 2644 registered.
' s
Advertising for
the Wolf
Do jou want him to come nosing
around your business door?
You are Inviting him when you
don't go after business.
You may think you are merely not
advertising, but:
In reality you are advertising to
the wolf.
You are cultivating the sure but
not altogether painless business
death from dry rot.
The finish is in sight.
A