s THE MORNING OREGONIAN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 23, 1913. PORTLAND, OBBQOK. Entered at Portland, Ortna. Poatofflea as seeond-claae matter. Subscription Hales Invariably la Advance: (BT MAIL) DallT. Snndav Included, on year Ielly. Bunaay Included, six months J-JJ Daily, Sunday Include!, three months .. ail-, Sunday Included, one montn . - Daily, without Sunday, on year ...... Dailywithout Sunday, six months ..... Daily, without Sunday, three months... . Daily, vitnout Sunday, ona month weekly, one year i'., liiihila. nn, , . . Sunday and weekly, one year a- BT CABBIKR) . . . . 1.0 uaiijy tunaay inciuucu. one - rMilu CiinHav Inf lurfMd- one XnonUi trr, express order or personal check on T0" local bank. Stamp, coin or currency are i senders risk. iive postofflce aaaresa full lrif imi 1 1, Miintv and state. . , i t ta naeea. 1 eent II to Z2 pages. 2 cents; Se to PH- eBU, to to 80 pages. eenta; 62 to ., cents: 78 to K pages, a cents. Foreign post age. double rata. Eastern Business Offices Verree at Conk lln. New York, Brunswick building. CnJr cago. Sieger building. ton Francisco Ollice R. J. Bldwsll Co, T42 Market it Eorepeaa Office No. s Regent street B. XV.. Loodoo. POKTLAXD, THURSDAY, A 1 11. M. Ml. PRESIDENT WIIAON'S aCESSAOE. President Wilson's address on Mex ico is in many respects a remarkable document. As voicing the attitude of the American people towards our battle-torn neighbor. It Is of unerring; ac curacy in so far as the desire for peace and tranquillity Is Emphasized. With President Wilson the American people are earnest in their desire for an early and peaceful settlementeof Mexico's in ternal differences. The American peo ple would avoid intervention or war with Mexico as they would avoid pesti lence or plague. But as applying; a remedy to an ex isting and deep-rooted evil, how far does President Wilson's policy go? As strengthening the slender bonds of friendship, will It prove a positive or negative agency? Does it consist of ir refutable loglo when contrasted with the Mexican reply? . President Wilson bases his argu ments on the assumption that Huerta's government Is not constitutional or lawful. The Mexican reply asserts that the matter of constitutionality is not to be passed upon arbitrarily. Pres ident Wilson takes the view that by non-recognition of Huerta's govern ment may we best show our friend ship and honest desire to help Mexico. The reply is that by recognition of the da facto government only might we prove our sincere and disinterested friendship. The difference between President Wilson's message and the Gamboa re ply is one of viewpoint Obviously President Wilson has Imposed an American viewpoint upon a Mexican situation, and Mexican temperament. Impartially viewed, it is not more log ical than the Mexican note, and while the message may have a sobering. ef fect on the belligerent factions, yet it fails to offer any adequate solution of the problem. Since we are to recognize no govern ment that we regard as unconstitu tional, what is going to happen in the interval? Should Huerta place Gen eral Trevino In the Presidential chair while he takes the field against the rebels, there still remains the Huerta refusal to bind himself to elimination of his candidacy. Inasmuch as Huerta, lacking recognition, cannot secure the funds with which to prosecute a vig orous campaign, there Is little likeli hood that he will subdue the country. If he does not and the rebel elements fail to develop strength, then a dead lock must ensue until bankruptcy of the present government brings mutiny to an already restless federal army. What then but'another coup d'etat? Or. barring that, actual anarchy and chaos? As to the matter of withdrawing all Americans, that is not practicable. Thousands will refuse to abandon homes and Interests which they have devoted years to acquiring. How will we give them 'protection except by in terposition of armed force? President Wilson does not hint at that stern measure, but he insists that the wel fare of Americans will be rigorously looked after. Does he Intend keeping a record of outrages and taking up the prosecution of offenders when the or derly processes of constitutional gov ernment have eventually been In stalled? It is given to no man to foresee ac curately what will now happen in Mex ico. The feeling must persist that up to this point Mexico Is the worse for our meddling. Nor does President Wil son's message clarify the international atmosphere. To be sure, had the me diation plan Included an expressed al ternative of drastic action, then our course would be clear and a stern set tlement of the Mexican problem might be at hand. But the only pressure we -brought to bear was that barring acceptance of the Administration views and ideas, the United States would leave Mexico severely alone. Had the American attitude been more exacting, more uncompromising, results might have been expected. Why should Huerta greatly fear our leaving him alone since we would not recognize him? Nor can there be any certainty that the President's message puts us in a better light before the world. For while we have made it clear that the United States has no ulterior motives, yet in the event of final intervention may mo not be accused of having blun dered our way into the mess? If an archy and chaos follow Huerta's pos sible bankruptcy and downfall. It may be held that we could have avoided that calamity by lending moral sup port to the organized. If irregular, gov ernment headed by General Huerta. If the Mexican situation Is any nearer a solution than before, it Is be cause President Wilson's message will bring to an earlier Issue the existing difficulties rather than because of any way out of the trouble provided by the message itself. In claiming as a victory the amend ment of the currency bill which per mits Federal reserve banks to dis count agricultural as well as commer cial paper, the McHenry faction of Democrats again shows its ignorance of sound finance. Their original prop osition was to base Issues of Treasury notes on warehouse receipts for farm produce at certain maximum valua tions. This would have based cur rency on inactive stocks of perish able commodities and would have stim ulated speculation in "food products. Instead, the caucus has approved ac ceptance by bankers of such agricul tural security as commends It to bank ers. Loans will be regulated by the value and marketable quality of the commodity at the time the loans are made. Naturally, stored farm pro duce has a loan value, but much low er than that which has entered Into consumption through sale. The only change in the bill is that this loan value is specifically recognized as Jus tifying rediscount of notes based on such security. The bill has been strengthened and a point has been gained for the farmers without depart ure from the sound principles of finance. WHY SHOULD WHITMAN DECLINE? District Attorney Whitman is in the unique position of having been nomi nated for re-election by all parties In New Tork City. That is the reward of the able, unswerving fight he has made against graft in the police de partment. Tammany, which has been held responsible for graft, disowns the grafters and ranges itself on the side of their prosecutor by nominating Mr. Whitman after he has already re ceived and accepted the nominations of Republicans, Progressives, Inde pendence League and Independent Democrats. Tet Seth Low. a leader in the fusion of the last-named parties, tells Mr. Whitman hev should not accept the Tammany nomination, that he "may keep the anti-Tammany Issue clear and unmistakable." On what ground he should do so is difficult to conceive. He was nomi nated primarily as a Republican and as such will enter the campaign. He was nominated on his record, and on that he will stand. His Indorsement by the other fusion parties Is due to that record and to the belief that he will add to it. The Tammany -nomination, coming after all the others jyod after he is committed to the. course advocated by the fusionists, cannot be regarded otherwise than as an indorse, ment of his past acts aryl a pledge of support in his announced future course. Mr. Whitman can consistently accept the unasked nomination of Tammany without Implied or express obligation to turn aside from the path he has marked out. He will be free to prosecute Tammany, should occasion require. Tammany has simply coin cided with the practically unanimous wish of the community. By accepting the Tammany nomina tion, which is really a simple Indorse ment of a nomination already made by the Republicans and other parties, Mr. Whitman would not impair his stand ing as a Republican. He would not thereby becoirte a Tammany Demo crat, any more than he became a Pro gressive, an Independence Leaguer or an Independent Democrat by accept ing the nominations of the several other parties. By nominating him Tammany has joined all other parties in lifting his office above party and making It non-partisan. Surely this Is' a most desirable consummation. Mr. Low desires Mr. Whitman's elec tion. The latter might well reply to him that the Tammany nomination insures his election, while Mr. Whit man's declination and Tammany's nomination of another candidate would place his election in doubt and might conceivably cause his defeat. The attitude of Mr. Low Is typical of the impractical, altruistic reformer. who is so careful about the means that he seldom attains the end. Such men as he hare filled the political bone yard with the wrecks of highly prom ising reform movements. FASTING ANT STAB. VINO. Hereward Carrington is known to Europe and America as the champion of risky causes. It was he who came to the front when the lamented Eu sapia Palladlno stood in danger of losing her hard-earned reputation for miracles and nobly proved that all the scientists In the United States were wrong. He only iwas right, he and Eusapia. But with all his proclivity for get ting on the shady side. Mr. Carrington has at last taken up a cause that will bear defending. It Is that of hygienic fasting. He makes a clear distinction between fasting and starvation. Starva tion begins, says Mr. Carrington, when the body craves food and can not get any. Fasting means the withholding of food as long as the body does not demand it. The distinction is rational and requires no great medics knowl edge to be understood. When a per son begins to fast there is a short time when he suffers acutely, not from hun ger, but from the breakup of old bod ily habits. This miserable feeling presently passes away and. If one's health really demands abstinence, a pe riod ensues during which there is no appetite for food. While this period lasts one can go about his busi ness and pleasure with undimin ished energy and in the meantime the organs rest, the waste matter that has been accumulating through indulgent years Is eliminated and health is es tablished on a firm basis. Then, and not till then, the craving for food returns. Such a fast may last for one day or forty, but until it ends the physical frame steadily recuperates. Starvation, on the other hand, weak ens its victim from 'the outset. This difference is so obvious that it seems as if every person ought to be able to fast when ha needs and never starve himself. But our judgment is fallible, especially when It is applied to our own health. We cannot rely upon it safely.' There is an ever-present peril that a person who fancies he Is only fasting may actually be committing suicide. Such cases have occurred too frequently to be passed over. In this, as in most other healing experiments, it is safest to begin by consulting a reputable physician. EMANCIPATION OF THE WEST. Purchase of the United Railways of San Francisco by the Flelschhacker syndicate means more than the trans fer of stock from the hands of one set of men to those of another set, It is an example of the West buying back Its property from the East with Its own accumulated wealth. As the great railroads, which were built with Eng lish and German money, have gradu ally passed Into American hands, so are the great enterprises of the West, which were constructed with Eastern money, passing into Western hands Twenty years ago the farmers of the nrairie states were working on capi all furnished on mortgage by the East. Thousands of them lost their farms in the panic and depression of 1893 to 1897. They have since bought back their farms and now have money to lend to others. As years pass the financial emanci pation of the West will go on and be come complete. Demand for capital for development of mines, power. Irri gation' enterprises, railroads and trol ley lines will grow less as opportuni ties for such investments are taken up, and the home supply of capital will Increase as these enterprises en rich the communities in which they are carried on. Finally the West will have surplus capital to Invest In other fields and a generation or two hence we may see the East coming West, Instead of the West going East, for capital. As th United States as a whole profited by the application of the ac cumulated experience of centuries to a virgin field, until this country has so greatly excelled Europe in wealth and rapidity of development as to as tonish the world, so will the West far more excel the East. The forests, water-power, coal, oil and soil fertility of the East have been squandered or have passed into private hands which levy a perpetual tribute on the people. The West has stopped short In imi tating this prodigal career. It is con serving its forests to become a perpet ual source of supply and to maintain and regulate the flow of Its streams. Under the wise direction of a Western head of the Interior Department, a premium Is put on the maximum use and minimum cost of electric power from our streams. Modern engineer ing science is making our deserts sources of fertility far surpassing the richest land of the East. Ere long we shall have laws under which coal, oil, gas and phosphate must be pro duced on terms ensuring reasonable prices to the consumer. Scientific ag riculture will preserve the fertility of the soil, which has been wasted In states further east.' We shall profit by the mistakes of the East until the people of that region "Will coma to learn of us and to borrow both money and skill from us. STRIKE PREVENTIVE 18 FOUND. How effective In settling the great majority of labor disputes is an Im partial inquiry by Judicial-minded men, who endeavor to bring about agreement and, in case of failure, make an unbiased statement of the trouble and of the best means of preventing a strike, is shown by the success of the Canadian trades disputes act. That act requires workmen who contem plate a strike or employers who con template a lockout to notify the Mln. ister of Labor that, unless a board of mediation is appointed, a strike or lockout iwlll result. The Minister of Labor then calls on each party to name a member of the board and these two name a third. If either party falls to name its man, the Minister names one to represent it. If the two cannot agree on a third, the Minister appoints him. The board may oompel production of documents, may subpena witnesses and may take evidence under oath, but has no power to order acceptance of its conclusions. If It effects a settle ment, it simply reports the fact to the government. If it fails to do so, It publishes broadcast Its report, with Its opinion of what should be done to pre vent a strike or lockout. Mediation is tried first. If that fall, no pressure Is brought upon either party, except that of public opinion based on the board's findings. There Is no provision tor arbitration, compulsory or other wise. But the mere Interposition of cool, conciliatory, disinterested persons who have the confidence of the parties to the dispute, smooths over differ ences, calms passion and restores rea son and justice, so that in the great majority of cases the dispute is ami cably adjusted. During the six years of the law's operation ending March 31, 1918, there were 145 applications for boards, which prevented or ended strikes In all except eighteen cases. Whenever men have struck in ignorance of the law, the differences have been settled under it almost immediately after its provisions became known. The provisions for mediation con. talned in the Newlands law follow the lines of the Canadian law, but the for. mer also contains provision for agree ments to arbitrate. Such agreements become binding contracts. Our law applies only to interstate railroads, but may easily be amended to apply to all labor disputes. Canada may prove to have supplied us with the means of almost entirely preventing strikes, which are the most wasteful means of settling simple questions of busi ness between employer and workman. COUNTRY CHURCHES. Public discussion refuses to drop the discouraging subject of the coun try church. The important facts of the situation have been made familiar to all readers by the numerous articles which have been published concerning It, and there is little difference of opinion about what ought to be done to make matters better. Everett T. Tom. linson hardly gives any new informa tion in his World's Work article, but he reiterates the well-known facts with emphasis and soul-searching force. Some of the statistics he quotes will bear repetition. For example, the worst paid minis ters in the United States are those of the Southern Baptists. They receive but $334 a year. Next to them come the Disciples with 1526. To the latter facts we shall return in a moment. But It Is worth while to notice first that the best paid Protestant ministers are those of the Unitarian, Episcopal and Universalist Churches. The average Unitarian salary is 81221; that of the Universalist pastor 1983. The Episco pal clergyman receives, upon the aver age, 8994. These facts are significant. The comparatively large salaries paid the Episcopal ministers may be ex plained by the high level of Intelligence and comfort among the members of that church. Their social pride is ex emplary and they refuse to permit their clergy to live In disgraceful pov. erty. They know what is becoming to the profession and they make a com mendable effort to live "up to their ideals. With the Unitarians and Universal lets another reason for liberal salaries must be taken into account. These denominations are, in a sense, perse cuted. They are not usually admitted to full fellowship with the churches called "evangelical," and their mem bers cherish a feeling of Injustice. This moves them to uncommon zeal. As a rule, they are among the most intelli gent citizens of their communities. They are great readers and their devo tion to their pastors Is fired by confi dence that they are nearer to the gen-' uine practices of primitive Christianity than their neighbors, who try to out law them. It must be remembered that these observations apply only to rural churches. Of course, such relics of barbarism have long since disap peared from the cities. Both seal and Intellectual pride contribute to make the Unitarians and Unlversalists lib eral to their ministers, and the result is apparent In the exceptional quality of the sermons they are privileged to hear. An Illiterate Unitarian or Uni versalist preacher is almost unheard of. Would that the same might be said of all the denominations. Turning now to the low salaries which the Southern Baptists and the Disciples pay, we find not much diffi culty in accounting for them. Both these denominations are still inspired by a primitive missionary seal. Praise worthy though this may be, it Is not always as wise as the serpent. It moves them to rush in where angels would hesitate to tread. Inspired, of course, solely by the desire to save souls, they found churches with, a cer tain recklessness of consequences in little villages which are already over churched.. If their members were ob tained by converting sinners no seri ous objections could be raised. But that seldom happens. A few brands are plucked from the burning, to be sure, but the majority of their adher ents are drawn from churches already established. Occasionally in the excite ment of proselytism an old congrega tion la broken up. Some of the frag ments flock to the new preacher. Some of them wander away and are lost. The novelty of the sacred invasion naturally attracts the villagers, whose lives are usually as dull as a frogpond. The minister emphasizes sensationally some' rite of the church, commonly baptism, which may be made more spectacular than any other ceremony of the Protestant denominations. There Is ground for exciting wrangles over sprinkling and Immersion. The peo ple who consent to be Immersed be come for the moment the central fig ures In a little melodrama, and of course they feel their importance. Fame is as dear to the rural heart as to the poet in his Grub-street garret. Modern proselytizers have fortified their drawing power by a good many theatrical arts like moving pictures, ragtime songs and deft advertising. When the little flurry which they ex cite is over, the wretched village which they have visited has one more dying church than it had previously and the adversary resumes his reflections on the folly of mankind. Congregations built up in this way are necessarily weak financially. The roving spirit which the members ex hibit in their religion pervades their business also, and they suffer the fate of the rolling stone. Hence they could not pay their preacher a com fortable salary If they wished, and usually they do not wish It In their opinion. If he has enough to keep him from starvation and rags, he ought to be satisfied. And either because of his Christian devotion or for some other reason it must be said for him that he almost always is satisfied. He proba bly feels that his pay measures well up to his ability, like the old Slwasb divine who got 810 a year. "That Is poor pay," observed a sympathetic traveler. ".Me poor preacher," replied the stoical Indian. The spirit of modern Christianity percolates but slowly into the rural sections. The ordinary country church goer still hopes to be saved by belief In traditional dogmas. He Is Inclined to argue over fine points of theology to the neglect of character and daily conduct. He has not yet learned the magic secret that Christianity is a life Instead of a set of mathematical the orems. What the country churches need above everything else Is a series of institutes for their ministers like those which have been provided for school teachers. In these brief schools com petent Instructors would Impart to them the meaning of the religion they profess, a subject of which many are totally Ignorant. Methods of dealing with rural church problems would be taught. As matters stand, the ordi nary village minister only vaguely knows, very often, that there are such problems. The stress of Christian ef fort could thus- be diverted from arid abstractions to the vital concerns of life and the country church might gradually reconquer its rightful place in the community. No man reads the signs of the times more aptly than the Emperor of Ger many. In his ripe maturity he has be come a teetotaler because he appre hends the .evils that strong drink has wrought upon the German people. They are too bibulous to be completely efficient. William foresees the strug gles they must go through and neglects no means of assuring victory. Alexander Sullivan, who died recent ly in Chicago, was one of the last of those Irish-Americans who proposed physical force as a means of securing home rule for Ireland. ,He prevented adoption of a dynamiters' platform at a convention In this country in 1883 and lived to see the Irish cause on the point of triumph by constitutional means and to see its enemies in Ulster threatening rebellion. Enlightened opinion will commend President Foster's courageous address on social hygiene at the Buffalo Con gress. His position Is that safety lies tn light. The obscurantists And almost their last stronghold In the beclouded and falsified realm of sex relations, but even here truth iwlll be. too strong for them. There is no salvation in mendacity. What chance will members of the Municipal Civil Service Commission have of elevation to any elective office if they insist that women employes of the city tell their ages? . The de luded men must be utterly indifferent to their political future. Bob Morgan, sentenced to die next month for murdering a young girl at Condon, says he was actuated by "crazy Jealousy." That is a bad dis ease that needs checking by precept and example. Lawyer Hitchings, convicted of being a "peeping Tom," says he was merely out nights for his rheumatism. That rockpile sentence ought to cure it, then. A man and woman who marry after a quarrel that separated them- for forty years, during which both mar ried, will hardly have time for another tiff. When the Big Four passes a quar terly dividend, it means loss to stock holders only. Expenses, which Include big salaries, pass as usual. That little Salem girl who ran away because she hated to carry In wood Is excusable. She Is too young to con t em plat matrimony. Why this objection to hiding of their ages by women employes of the city? Isn't that one of woman's recognized prerogatives? Seattle need not be troubled by moth-infested potatoes from Califor nia. Send to Oregon for the best that grows. After having been separated forty years, a Douglas County couple mar ried. Just ' couldn't hold out any longer. Whitman is being urged not to ac cept the Tammany indorsement. But perhaps he wants to be elected. Let the fans make medicine to put the pennant winners above .800. Thaw may yet be glad to get back to Matteawan. HOW KENNEWICK GOT ITS HAM IS. With Maay Other Name It Was Tikn Frosn Indian Tesgve, CORNELIUS. Or, Aug. 16. (To the Editor.) I always read with much In terest the articles of Mr. Addison Ben nett on his trips about the country showing the growth of communities where 25 years ago barren plains or sagebrush gave little promise ot fature occupancy for man. I was considerably amused in one of his recent articles at bis attempt to trace the same ot "Kennewlck." As I am to blame for the name I think it not amiss through The Ore gonian to give some of the circum stances which led to the name and lo cation of the place. In the Summer of 1888 I was sent out by the Northern Pacific Railroad Company to make a survey of the Co lumbia River near to and above Its confluence with the Snake and to de termine the most feasible crossing for the branch that was t be constructed to Fuget Sound, the Yakima Valley be ing axed as the route. Accordingly, with a party of engin eers, I sometime arrived at Alnsworth, which was then the largest place in those parts and which I am glad to say has since passed away with other things vile, useless and unlovely. The next day, having chartered a steam boat for , our party, we passed down the Snake to the Columbia and pro ceeded up stream for about four miles to where from the deck of the steamer I directed the captain to land us in a cove at the foot of what was an island In flood season, where waa perhaps half an acre of coarse grass, the only green visible as far as the naked ey could reach, saving the bluelsh green of the inviting water. There we camped and proceeded to carefully sur vey and sound the river channel from White Bluffs to the mouth of the Snake. A short distance below our camp we found a ledge of rock and boulder ex tending across the river bottom shal lowing the channel and making excel lent foundation. The Snake River bridge though but little over 1700 feet In length cost the railroad company $1,225,000, the Columbia Klver bridge a little over 2600 feet In length cost only one-quarter of this amount, due mostly to foundations. That Fall 25 miles of the Cascade branch was graded and track laid. In the Spring following. 1884, I located the bridge and extended the bridge tangent to an Intersection with the main line. Hence Pasco. Mr. V. G. Bogus brought the name from South America, as is generally known. It then became necessary to find a name for the crossing ot the Columbia. The grassy slope where I first land ed had long been used by the Indians aa a camp ground on '.heir fishing trips up and down the rlvsr. They called it "Kane Wack," meaning a grassy place or glade. I wrote It down and then mindful of the click of the telegraph Instrument and the swing of the pen in the hands of those who would write the name millions of times I wrote un derneath, "Kennewlck." It became an Important point during the construc tion of the branch. Later on some town lots were located and a postofflce established under another name, but the railroad company stuck to the name of Kennewlck and the people, tir ing of having their mail come under one address and their freight under another, got the postofflce changed to Kennewlck. For the convenience of the railroad company stations were lo cated about every six miles along the line, and it became my duty to name them. At that time there were only two settlements between the Columbia and South Prairie, Yakima City and El lensburg, and the question of names was sometimes quite serious. I re member at one time talking the mat ter over with Mr. Hannaford, who was then general freight agent and who has Just now been made president of the road. He suggested the advisabil ity of finding names which had no du plicates, though the towns might be in other states. Not wishing to use the names of individuals or employes who might afterward prove to be no credit to the towns named for them, appropriate Indian 'names were used where obtainable, and where not the next most appropriate name was se lected. In passing over the line today what strikes one who was familiar with the country and Its resources in the raw is the fine towns and com munities where he did not look for them and the absence of any special development where It could reasonably have been expectd. No doubt the en terprise or lack of enterprise of the citizens could explain this. I refuse to believe that the names that were in flicted upon them had anything to do with the case. H. & HCSON. KEEPING CHICKENS A FINE ART. Every One Cant Be Expected to Have 8 access With a Flock. PORTLAND, Aug. 26. (To the Edi tor.) By way of answering the query of J. M.. asking why I do not "grow my own eggs," I will state that the sole excuse I have to offer Is that I am not in the chicken business. By the same sfgn J. If. will know why I do not make my trousers, wash my linen, remove spots from my top hat, and act as my own banker. I am a firm believer in keeping to my knit ting. Had I any surplus time and as extra stock of energy, I might pos sibly tackle the chicken ranch game. but as matters now stand I am kept pretty Dusy earning my salary, mow ing the lawn, cultivating the flowers, saving the country, writing to the press, eating, sleeping, resting and hooking my wife up the back. And again I believe in giving the other fellow a chance. The chicken raiser buys my coffee and spices, he tickles me and I, In turn, take a chance with his hen fruit and tickle him. This Is reciprocity, "and it Is also the dyna mics that makes the world go round. Furthermore, It is the economical plan of life and life's Intricacies. Every man to his business. I have never manicured a live chicken's feet. I wouldn't know whther to give paregoric or catnip tea in case of cholera among my chick ens. This thing of getting other people to do your work is no easy Job, I beg you to believe. Getting me to do some other fellow's work Is an utter Impossibility. I work people and they work me, and It Is all work. If I planted chickens and "grew" my own eggs, it would be only a question of time when the subject of pork chops came up and some well-meaning reader of and writer for The Oregonian would rise and. ask, "Why don't you keep a pig?" There Is no end to this "raise it at home" system. It may be all right, too, for those who have the time and the Inclination, but as for my single self time is pretty well taken up with the little duties I have mentioned above, and my Idle hours are spent in propa gating beautiful flowers, sweeping the walks, cutting weeds from other peo ple's vacant lots, splitting kindling for the kitchen stove, shaving myself, reading the papers, talking politics and writing checks for household supplies. These little odd Jobs keep me from the dangers of too much leisure and ward off ennui, and I believe they will suf fice for my needs. R. G. DUNCAN. Overheard at Seashore Resort. Puck. Miss fiummerboard Have you noticed what delightful air this is? Why, It absolutely Intoxicates 'one. Cleverton H'm! It ought to. They charge champagne prices. Darning Her Husband's Socks. Philadelphia Record. Mrs. Burg-Ins Do you darn your hus band's socks? Mrs. Dashaway No. I speak of them a little more profanely than that- The X-Ray Skirt By Dean Col Una. When Albee hung his solemn ban On X-ray skirts and maids who dare em. And ordered every copper man To pinch each parson who might wear 'em. ' In curiosity I sought Full long and hard, but all for naught. For in the sidewalk's passing whirl I could not find an X-ray girl. Devoutly aa a Persian priest I turned each ev'ning toward the sun. Thinking. "There must be one at least!" But I could never spot that ona Upon the highways I could note Ne'er a translucent petticoat; I looked until my poor eyes hurtr But never saw an X-ray skirt. But Mother Eve ne'er cared to bite The apple till she was forbid it Then. Just to show she had the right. She very promptly went ahd did it. And modern woman, I believe, la very Ilka her mother, Eve. i And 'tis a rash man who will dare To tell her what she may not wear. L'ENVOL Though strolling on the busy way. No X-ray girl has met my gaze, I fear at some near future day That style of dress will be the craze And universal favor find. Now that we've put it in their mind. Oh, Mr. Mayor, how rash thou wart To ban the lucid X-ray skirt! ON HOW TO SAVE TS FROM DECAY. We Mnat Keep Human flood Always la Mind, Vrgea Writer. PORTLAND, Aug. 25. (To the Edi tor.) President Emeritus Eliot of Har vard would save civilization from de cay and dissolution which threatens it by putting "Into execution all the meas ures which Christian ethics and the medical arts and sciences recommend. Such Is part of his address delivered at the International Congress of School Hygiene at Buffalo. This advice seems of doubtful value. In my opinion it is of no value at all. First, there Is no' fixed, accepted, con sistent system of morality known as "Christian ethics." Those who profess themselves its promulgators and sus talners are worlds apart, not only on theoretical grounds, as In the contro versy between free will and predestina. tion. but also on many of the most vital social problems of today, as marriage, divorce. Industrial justice, war, prop, erty rights, etc Any work on evolu tionary morals, as that of Wester marck, Hobhouse or W. G. Sumner (particularly the tatter's discussion of the relation between religion and the mores), provides aDundant proof of the lack of deflniteness and stability In what the university president broadly refers to as "Christian ethics." In the second place President Eliot assumes an invariable agreement be tween what he calls "Christian ethics" and the state of medical art and sci ence at any particular time. Dr. Eliot thinks of his ethical standard as some thing eternal, absolute and right under all circumstances. On the other hand, we know that medical science, like all knowledge, is subject to correction, modification and growth aa the bound aries of the unknown are pushed back. Hence It follows that If Christian eth ics Is the same today as 300 years a so. It certainly cannot be In harmony with the medical art and science of the 20th century. Since that time medical science has developed to a point where it has adopted the deterministic atti tude toward life of modern physiology and biology, recognizing the Interac tion of the two factors of heredity and environment as Immediately causative of health and disease. The fatal defect in Dr. Eliot's pre scription Is that ne falls to recognize his own "odola specus," as Bacon called it; his personal bias in favor of ideas and judgments he was reared under, and has regarded as, true all hia life long. Thia failure to detach himself from the past prevents htm from sea ing the absurdity of trying to "recon cile his personal fetish with the in finitely broader demands of the 20th century. He realises something is wrong, but the thought that it may have something to do with his ethical standard never occurs to him. He can not see that ethical standards develop out of life and not life out of ethical standards. Because he misses this very vital point, he recommends something that sounds almost like Irony In the light of what we know today concern ing ethical science. By all means let ns avail ourselves of all that medical art and science has to offer for the advancement of hu manity. But let us keep human good Itself rather than outgrown systems In mind as the measure of all things. H. C. UTHOFF. ANIMALS ARE ALL, AMBIDEXTROUS With Decline of Militarism, Twe-Hnad-cdaeaa for Men la ITrged. Chicago Tribune- Right-handedness and right-eyedness came with genus homo. Dr. George M. Gould hag watched for them In squir rels that use their front paws to hold nuts, cats that strike at insects in the air or play with wounded mice and In many other animals, but be is certain no preference Is given to the right side over the left. But in the lowest human savage all over the world choice In greater ex pertness of one hand Is clearly present One cause for Its development Is in primitive military customs. In all tribes and countries since man used implements of offense and defense the left side, js-here the heart lies, has been protected by the -shield, and the left hand was called the shield hand, while the right hand was called the spear hand. Next to fighting came commerce. The fundamental conditions of barter ing was counting with the low num bers, one to ten. The fingers of the free or right hand were naturally first used, and ail fingers today are called digits, aa are the figures themselves, while the basis of our numberings is the decimal or ten-fingered system. Every drill and action of the soldier from ancient Greece to modern Amer ica Is right-sided in every detail. Fir ing from the right shoulder and sight ing with the right eye bring the right eye Into prominence. It is significant that with the de cline of militarism comes the sugges tion of schools for ambidexterity and the establishment of a movement for promulgating the gospel of two-han-dedness and its obvious advantages. A Poor Sort of Father. Pearson's. The other day the Duke of Westmin ster lent Grosvenbr House for a meet ing of the Invalid Children's Aid As sociation, and during the meeting one very good story was told. A speaker mentioned that one child who had been helped by the society was asked for her father's name. "Smith." she said. "And what Is bis Christian name?" was the next question. "'E ain't got one." answered the child, obviously not having a ghost of an Idea what sort of a thing a Chris tian name might be. "Oh. he must have one!" persisted the questioner. "Let me see; what does your mother call him?" "Block'ead!" was the staggering re Ply. m A Perfectly Natural tnery. Judge. Said the friendly city boarder To his country host "I see Tou have honey on the table. Tell me, do you keep a bee?" Half a Century Ago Front The Oregonian of August 28. 1883. Leavenworth. Aug. 21. Last night the guerilla Chief Quantrell with 800 men crossed from Missouri Into Kansas, near Gardener. SO miles below here, and started for Lawrence, arriving there at 4 o'clock this morning, posted guards around the city so no citizen could escape, and then the remainder of his command aacked the city, pillaging stores, shooting citizens and firing houses. The loss by fire Is about 12. 000,000. General Jamas H. Lane was In the city and it la feared he has fallen into the hands of the guerillas. In Wednesday morning's Issue we mentioned the fact that a military com pany was being formed called the Washington Guards. We have now the names of a number of the citizens of Portland, who are forming another company. They are: George T. Myers, John McCraken, H. Saxer, W. w. Spalding, James W. Going, Jacob Stitzel, Ben L. Norden, J. W. J. pier son. Mark A. King, A. B. Richardson. J. W. Jordan, A. B. Stuart Marcus Freeman, L. M. Starr, A J. Butler. E. G. Randall, Joseph Buchtel, H. H. Biack, Richard B. Knapp, Charles E. Hodgklns! T. A Davis, R. J. Ladd, A J. Knott G. F. Greene, Levi Estes, W. 8. Caldwell. H. H. Johnston. L. F. Grover, H. A. Gehr, P. C. Schuyler, F. C. Pomeroy. Theodore F. Miner, S. J. McCormlck. Charles Binder, H. L. Herman, John Everest, G. Campbell, II. Jones, W. F. Cornell, T. W. Rhoses. L. C Millard. James McKinney, Joseph Werta, F. N. O. Plummer. Twenty-five Years Ag9 From The Oregonian of August 28. 1888. Salem. Or Aug. 27. Rev. Clark Braden, tha noted Christian contro- ' verstalist now delivering a series of lectures at Sllverton. has accepted a challenge issued by the Sllverton Sec ular Union on behalf of B. F. Under wood, of Boston, for a series of theo logical debates to take place In Sll verton. Ellensbury, W. T Aug. 2T. W. R. Smith. C Smith and Messrs. Allaky, Woodard and Day arrived this after noon from the Conconully mining dis trict on their way to Portland. They report a rich strike In the face of the Arlington tunnel. Dr. W. W. Royal has Just returned from a fishing excursion on Gordon Creek, east of this city. An attempt will be made to gravel Russell street A.'blna. before tha bad weather sets In. C. E. DuBols. of the Board of Immi gration, left yesterday for Columbus, 0 with a display of cereals. He also took specimens of Bartlett and Clapp's Favorite pears. Silver and Hungarian prunes, Columbia and Bremmer plums. The only applea obtainable were soma of the Red Bathinger. Prof. Wetzell received a letter yes terday from J. D. Letcher, Secretary of the State Agricultural College, asking him to call attention to the free schol arships in that Institution. Fifteen Is the number falling to - Multnomah County. A plat of Highland was filed in the County Recorder's office yesterday bv Theodore Wygant and wife, and J. W. Going and wife. The special board of engineers ap pointed by the Secretary of War to Investigate the matter ot a steamboat ' railway around The Dalles of the Co lumbia met at the office of Maj. Hand bury yesterday. 1 Aa the Pitcher Winds TTn. Puck. From Second Base Put er right over, big as a barn he can't hit it From Right Field Make 'lm hit it ol' man; make 'lm hit It From the Shortstop 'Nother strike out ol' sport This Is a punkin. From the Side Lines Make 'em put It over. Walt fer a good one. Make 'lm cut the plate. From the Catcher (signaling for a straight ball) Now one o' them curly ones under the chin. T"row it right at his bill. From the Left Field Ho! Hoi Here's an easy one! Toss It to 'lm. From the Bench Bat 'er down this way, ol' dub, an" watch me eat it From Third Base Cut the pan, ol' sport; cut the pan they can't touch it In a t'ousand years. From the Bleachers Right on the nose, Chlmmle. right on the nose. A nice clean single, bo, a nice clean sin gle." "Han' 'lm one of. them fadeawaya" "Move the fielders back 'bout a mile." "A home run. Chimmie, a home run." "Bat 'er down to shortstop he can't never stop It" "Wait fer a base on balls, ol' man the pitcher's wild." "Knock the cover ofTn It" "Kill It! Kill it!" "Here's Ave dollars, me boy, for a home run." "Make 'em be good, ol' scout make 'em be good." Then from the umpire, as the pitcher Is about ready: "Hey, Hold on a minu ute. Say, there, somebody dust off the plate a little." And then it all begins again. Quotations en Tekoah. PORTLAND. Aug. 28. (To the Edi tor.) I read with much Interest every thing from the facile pen of Addison Bennett and have done so from the days of the Oregon Irrigator, of Irri gon. Or I have read the letter In this morning's paper about "Tekoah.' Mr. Bennett is right when he sur mises that the word can be found In the Bible. Here are the texts'. II Samuel xiv 2d and 4th verses: "And Joab sent to Tekoah and fetched thence a wise woman," etc "And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the King, she fell on her lace," etc. So wise people, at least wise women. lived In Tekoah long ago. Amos, L 1: "The words or Amos, who was among the herdmen of Te- . koa," etc Tekoah or Tekoa is or was located about 10 miles south of Jerusalem. W. S. HOLT. These Daily Talks On Advertising By publishing each day some thought upon the subject of adver tising,. It Is our purpose to encour age among our readers a lively in terest in the highly profitable habit of ad. reading. Advertising news Is now consid ered to be as Interesting and impor tant as the news of current events, and the reader who slights his ad readlng really does himself a great Injustice. The advertising columns con stantly offer us opportunities to save money and to make our pur chases with greater convenience. If you must slight some part ot your newspaper, let It not be the advertising section. ' It holds much valuable information for you and you really can't afford to neglect It