tttt: MOT-Tyr, oT?rr,o'TAX. moxdat, ArniL 8, 1912.
Bt (Drortmrntt
rORTLASD. OKEOO
fcntered at Portland. Oregon. Postorrlc aa
Ponil-r Matter. . . . .
fcuttacxlptioo Ku ?OTar1ab!y Ib c
irt viiui
fallr. Sunday Included. t yar
ll 7. fund.r Inclsrt'd. : moIM J J J
Jiir. ltttout Sunday, ou yer J,.
ral i. wit houl bundiir. alx month. .... f -Iai:jr.
without euo.le. thr month. -
wunuui Dunuej. wm w - - i
U'Mkli. on. vear -
Sunday, oa year '
bandar and fttakly, oaa year.
(BT CARSIEK.I
Parr. Sunday laeluded. ona yar...... -
X: y. Sunday Included, ona mootn
Haw la Kemtt Fend Potoffle
.r. .in.ess order or paraoaal chck
Jacal bank. Stamp cola w "7 draal
at th. ..nder". ra- OI po.rr.rt lea addr.a
la fu.l. tacludins county and, aiaio.
a pT. a c.nta; to
to o pca. a cantm. or. .n poata
donbl rat.
tMer. BuatMNMi n V.rT. Con
Itn New York. Hrunawua bul.dm. -ni
lAo, ataar building.
Karopcaut Offlo -No. S Bnt str. S.
W . Load jo.
I-)KTL..M. MONDAY. APRIL . !
TWO EI-r.CTEl lliSVES.
Why does not Colonel Roosevelt Join
Issue with President Taft on the main
Issue which U now before the people
the tariff? That is the issue which
Taft himself brought to the front four
years ago and which ho has kept to
the front. It has been the main sub
Ject of difference between Taft and
the self-styled "progressives." Since
Roosevelt profess to be the leader of
the "progressive.," he should have
something- to say on their side of the
Issue which they have chosen to make
with Taft. Then why this silence, on
the part of one so voluble and so
ready to denounce?
The explanation U that Roosevelt
has indorsed Taffs tariff policy, both
as to the Payne-Aldrich bill and as to
the Tariff Board. He is not an insur
gent "progressive" on the tariff: he Is
a. Taft progressive. On September 3,
1910. he said In a speech at Sioux
falls. 8. D.:
I think that tha present tariff P"
la.) la better than th laat Linley l
and consld-r.bly better than th one befor
th laat .McKinlr, !... but 1 h" cer
tainly III1 to lv s.ntral Mtwfaction.
On the same day he followed this
tip by saying at Sioux City. Ia.:
I sraa particularly plrased mlth what th
president iTtln MU1 In hi "etr n
subject of th tariff rnmmlsion. A numher
of &nator and Conressmen hav tor
war. advocai-d thl 'h proper method
of dealinc with th tariff, and I am ld
that llie country seema now to h ""
nitely awakened to th Idea that a tariff
commlaaion offer th. only solution of the
problem which I both rational and Insures
l-i. absent- of Jobherv. The President
TM from th belnnln advocated thi
commission.
It is but 1 months since these
speeches were made, and they sre
fresh In the minds of many of the
people. This fact probably explains
the Colonel's silence on the tariff.
Rut there Is another phase of the
tariff question on which Taft has
made a determined fight and on which
the Insurgents have Joined Issue with
him Canadian reciprocity. Surely the
Colonel might have gladdened the
heart of his Insurgent brethren by
making one of his characteristic on
slaughts on the President for forcing
this measure through Congress. Why
doesn't he? The explanation ia to be
found In these words, which he uttered
In a speech before the Republican
Club of New York on February 13.
1911. only 14 months ago:
I want to asy how clad I am at the way
:n whi4-h the membcra of the club her to
night responded to the two appea.s made to
them to uphold th hands of President Taft.
both In hi effort to rn reciprocity wi:h
Canada and in h' effort to secure th lortl
BcaKoa of the Panama ( anal.
And In addition to what haa been 'd
about reciprocity with t'anarfa. I would
lika to make thl point: It .hould always
o a cardinal point In our foreign poitcy
o tabllh th cloaeat and moat friendly
relation ( equal re.pect and advanlae
with our a-reat neighbor on the north. And
I ball tha reciprocity arrangement becu
It represent an effort to bring about a
rioear. a mora tmlmat. a more friendly
relationship of mutual advantage on eriual
''-rm btwen Canada and tha I'nltvd
tlate.
Having Indorsed Taffs position on
two of the leading Issue of the admin
istration, the Colonel Is out of har
mony with his Insurgent brethren. He
cannot reiterate the opinions thus ex
pressed without alienating those whose
votes he seeks and helping the man
he desires to drag down. He cannot
denounce Taffs tariff and reciprocity
policies without eating his words, too
recently uttered to make such a course
palatable, even for the Colonel.
THE REMEDY.
Bob Ingersoll. In one of his celebrat
ed lectures, perhaps It was "The Mis
takes of Moses," said a half dozen of
the brainiest and bet men In the
country" might be taken to one of the
tropical countries where all a man has
to do-to live Is to lie In the shade and
open his mouth to catch the fruit as
It falls from the trees, and the second
generation would be found barefoot,
practically naked, with no ambition
above existence In the easiest way
possible.
Why this degeneration? Simply be
cause they would live In a place where
there was no incentive, no Inducement,
no cause to labor. Labor was ordained
by the Almighty as the chief corner
stone of everything good and useful
and worth having in the world. Civili
zation Is founded on it. nations pros
per through it or decline when indo
lence and Idleness reign. It is tho
foundation of love, the basis of law.
the bulwark of liberty every good
thing comes by it. nothing but things
worthless or ephemeral come without
It. "For thou shalt eat the labor of
thine hands: happy shalt thou be and
It shall be well with thee." "In all labor
there Is profit: but the talk of the lips
tendeth only to penury." All through
the writings of the ages, human or In
spired, we read that labor is essential
to advancement In either the personal
or communal life; and In the same
way we are taught that Idleness ts the
seed of decay and ruin.
We are at the present time more or
le perturbed In the Northwest by the
fruits of Idleness. Hon- o handle the
question of relief Is causing much dis
cussion among our best citizens.
Whether to strike at the root of the
evil and make the most of the vagran
cy laws or drift along and await the
earning out of the threats that have
been made on our stret corners has
been and Is being officially considered
by all of our organizations for public
welfare. But still we drift and drift
and keep drifting closer to the rocks
of anarchy.
The remedy? If there Is one at hand
It is not being made known: there Is
in In sight, which Is quite remote. It
is the election which occurs next No
vember, at which time the decent cltl
ons as a tinit ought to seo to It that
nr two most Important county offices
are filled by men .who will bav Lho
courage to do their duty, as It seems
hopeless to look to the city authorities
for relief.
KfHKINU THE PORTLAND BOAT.
Is Portland rreatneea to be attained
onle by k-eplng A.loria down? In P'r
land poiti..n o o,uetnnabie and ner
rhance nf advancement hung on o alender
a thread that th only way lo protect Port
land l to make Inland Emplr producer
pay more on grain to Atorla than to
Tacoma ?
If the above questions were to be
asked by any zealous Astoria partisan
of Astoria they might occasion no
great surprise, and could be credited
to a commendable. If mistaken, local
pride. Hut they do not come from
Astoria. They are ked by the Port
land down-hauler of Portland's com
mercial flag. In its astonishing purpose
to abandon the fruits of Portland's
commercial enterprise and transporta
tion advantage, gained through long
years of effort, conflict, strategy and
experience.
Besides, the wording Ik essentially
false. It conveys, and It is intended to
convey, the Impression to the Inland
Kmpire grain growers that it costs
more to export wheat via the Columbia
River than via Puget Sound ports, and
the remedy is terminal rates for As
toria. The export charges on grain
are not more from Portland than from
Tacoma. They ought to be less. But
through the arbitrary and artificial
system of rate-making by tho rail
roads, the port of Portland, at the
foot of a down-river haul, has no ad
vantage In rates over Tacoma or Seat,
tie, at the termini of a precipitous and
expensive trans-mountain haul.
The plea for 'terminal rates at As
toria is based on the hyp0""1110' pre
tension that Portland Is "big and
broad" and has "nothing to fear from
Astoria." But what Is it purposed to
give Ai-toria? The plan Is to give As
toria terminal rates abolish the 4 ti
cents per hundred differential only
to withdraw the gtft Just as soon as
the Interstate Commerce Commission
can be made to see that Portland Is
entitled to lower rates than Astoria.
The only thing definite and certain
about this remarkable project is that
Portland surrenders an established ad
vantage on the more or less certain
prospect of getting it back In some
way at some time.
The real basis o? the Quixotic ten
der to Astoria is that It is not really
for Astoria's benefit, but for Port
land's, and that Portland's actual ob
ject is to get lower terminal rates
than Puget bound cities. The only
merit to the entire contention is that
Portland deserves from tho railroads
the consideration Its superior geo.
graphical position affords. But why
not press the issue on the sound mencs
of Portland's position as against Puget
Sound's, and not go around Robin
Hood's barn to get It. meanwhile
throwing away something worth hav
ing on the hazardous and roundabout
Journey? Why adopt a method of
genuine obliquity and fake generosity,
when the straight and honest course is
to demand Portland's rights from the
railroads, because taey are Portland's
rights?
The author of this grand buncombe.
free gift enterprise to Astoria, has
doubtless forgotten, or does not know,
that Astoria's transportation status
hHs already been fixed by the Inter
state Commerce commission. Any
suggestion by Portland to the Commls.
slon that It had not dealt fairly by As
toria would doubtless perturb that
august body considerably: but even
then there is- no assurance that the
commission would reconslde- Astoria's
case, and decide differently, even with
the powerful influence of Portland s
transportation lawyer or newspaper
agitation behind the effort. All that
would be evident would be that Port
land does not know when It is fairly
well off. and therefore starts In to
rock the boat In the well-founded
hope that It will thus be able to start
something.
SfXSHINE IX TWILIGHT ZONK.
Some points of resemblance are to
be found In a recent ruling by the In
terstate Commerce Commission and
the decision by the United States Cir
cuit Court in the Minnesota rate case.
The latter is the case that added the
term "twilight zone" to the nomencla
ture of railroad rate discussions. It
was the Minnesota decision that
aroused the alarm of the Governors'
conference and caused submission of a
brief by the Governors a few days ago
In the United States Supreme Court
where the case has been taken on
appeal.
The Minnesota case involved intra
state rates fixed by act of the State
Legislature. Railroad stockholders,'
contending that these rates were con
fiscatory and prohibitive, sought an
Injunction In the Federal Court. The
Injunction was granted, the court
holding them to be confiscatory and
an Interference with Interstate com
merce. The court said:
Where th attempted enerrl.e of th power
of a atate to reguiate Intra.tat rommerc
or the attempted exercla of any of it
power impinge upon or eonntcta with ma
constitutional power of the Nation to pro
tect the freedom of and to regulate Inter-
gtate commerce and th rate and fares
therein ilia latter must prevail, because.
"that which i not eupreme must yield to
that which I upreme.
It seemed to follow from this ruling
that In certain conditions a state could
not enforce lower rates within Its bor
ders, while the Federal rate-making
body would likewise, through lack of
Jurisdiction, be powerless to regulate
them. Hence the . term "twilight
zone."
In the Texas case Intrastate rates
were shown to create discrimination
against Interstate traffic. To Illus
trate. It is stated that a rate of 60
cents carried first-class traffic east
ward toward the Louisiana line, a dis
tance of 160 miles wholly within
Texas. Yet the same rate would carry
freight from Shreveport. Louisiana,
westward toward and into Texas only
55 miles. The order by the Interstate
Commission Is that the railroad shall
"establish the sam rates on west
bound as on eastbound traffic."
A ray of sunshine has thereby been
shed on the "twilight zone." Strictly
construed, the ruling In the Texas case
seems to give the railroads choice of
two courses of procedure. They may
reduce the interstate rate to the basis
of the Intrastate rate or raise the lat
ter and fight out the Issue with the
Texas commission. The railmgd. ap
parently, haa simply been ordered to
cease discriminating. If it can show
that the state rate Is confiscatory, the
courts will protect the railroad from
enforcement of the rate.
It is true that in the latter event the
Texas and Mlnne.wfta cases would be
on all fours, but If the twilight zone
Involves only rato that are an Injus
tice to the railroads, why shoura It be
feared? Do the Governors who are so
alarmed Insist on a state r'ght to in
flict confiscatory rates? The Interstate
Commerce CommL'-slnn. In determining
v. hoikcr Ukcre l, 4is.rlaiiaaaon. ham ,
adopted a precedent .f considering as
factors in the case state rates 1111
have been recognized and adopted by
the railroads.- ' It would seem that that
policy ought to remove the threatened
menace of a conflict, state and Federal,
of authority that would deprive both
of power to fix rates In certain zones.
No state ought to have the power so to
harass a railroad that it will grant
rates ten.Iing to build up communities
within that state at the expense o
communities in neighboring states.
The Federal Constitution prohibits
any state from laying duties or im
posts on the exports of another state.
State regulation of railroad rates,
when it conflicts with interstate rates
to a point where it prevents products
originating outside the state from com
peting with products originating
within the state, distances and cost of
movement being Identical, is an eva
sion of the constitutional Inhibition.
Such would have been the situation
had the Interstate Commerce Commis
sion declined to heed the plea of the
Louisiana commission. Taking up that
particular case again. It Is obvious that
If tho rxte oruierverl within Texas ia a
' reasonable one. it ought also to apply
j to Interstate trafflc. If it Is no a rea
sonable . one. the railroad will un
doubtedly resist its application rather
than appl?- It more extensively, and It
has a remedy at court. If desire for
Justice Is all that disturbed the mind
of the Governors conference, the
members now ought to be contented.
WILEY AND riNCHOT A CONTRAST.
Gifford Plnchot and Dr. Wiley are
alike In one way. Each Is the advocate
of a good cause, but there the similar
ity ends. Plnchot carried hla zeal for
conservation to such a point that he
attempted to become Independent of
his chief and to dictate the course of
the head of another department. Ho
violated the law and he finally at
tacked not only the man who refused
to submit to his dictation, but the
President under whom he held office.
The President could not do otherwise
than remove such a man. If he desired
to retain his self-re.pect and the re
spect of the people and to maintain
discipline among his subordinates:
Plnchot has never since relaxed his
efforts to injure the man whom he
thus insulted, has been the chief means
of stirring up enmity In the rrllnd of
Roosevelt against Taft, and has pro
voked the strife which now rends the
Republican party.
Dr. Wiley has shown as great zeal in
the cause of pure food as Pinchot
showed In the cause of conservation,
but his zeal has been tempered by
dlscretion and respect for law. Al
though his patience has been sorely
tried by the obstacles placed in his way
by fellow-ofiiclals. he has abstained
from open attack on them until they
attacked his own integrity. Then he
struck back and was triumphantly
vindicated by the President. The re
strictions on his activity being contin
ued by the head of his department,
even to the point that he was forbid
den to express personal opinions on
the substances which other govern
mental bodies allowed to be sold as
food, he resigned. He frankly gave
his reasons, condemning the manner
In which the pure-food law was being
administered, but In so doing he said:
In thl action I do not Intend In any way
to reflect upon the poaltlon which haa been
taken by rnv auperlor officer In regard to
the aame problem. I accord to them the
same right to act In accordanca with their
conviction which I claim for myself.
These words breathe & very different
spirit from that which has animated
Plnchot. who has missed no opportu
nity to dispute the integrity of those
who have disagreed with him. In re
signing. Wiley made no charge of
moral turpitude against those associ
ates who had attempted to fasten a
stain on him, though ho had far more
provocation than Pinchot ever had. He
simply announced his determination to
exercise his liberty as a citizen in serv
ing the cause to which he had devoted
himself.
The first use he made of the freedom
he resumed was to express his grati
tude to the President, who had defend
ed him. and to announce his Intention
to support the President for re-election.
Tolerant of those who disagree
with him and loyal to the chief who
stood by him. he Fhines the more
brightly by contrast with the embit
tered Plnchot, who sees an evil motive
behind every action of which he does
not approve.
"THE VALOR OF IGNORANCE."
A book that is. having considerable
vogue Just now. especially among mili
tant and thoughtful people Is one writ
ten by Homer Lea and published under
the suggestive title, "The Valor of Ig
norance." It contains an Introduction
by Lieutenant-General Adna R. Chaf
fee, who commends It to the attention
of men who study the history of the
United States and the science of war,
and is dedicated to Hon. Klihu Root,
who at the time it was written was
Secretary of War.
The writer shows In carefully con
sidered detail the danger to which
personal ease, affluence and the
abounding Influences of a commercial
age subject a nation. Illustrating his
presentment by citation of tho facts of
history which record the rise and fall
or nations through the ability of the
hordes of toll and privation and hard
ship to overrun and destroy a luxuri
ous, ease-loving and opulent people.
According to the estimate of General
Chaffee no nation offers more numer
ous opportunities for Invasion by a
foreign nation than does the United
States whenever cause therefore Is
sufficiently great to Induce prepara
tions by any other nation that will
beat aside our resistance on the sea.
In answer to the popular idea
founded as this writer contends, on
the "Valor of Ignorarrre." that volun
teers by hundreds of thousands could
be Immediately enlisted for defense
against the Invaders. lie says:
The worth of armlea Is not measured by
their magnitude, but by the perfection of
their construction and discipline, hy tho
pplrlt that Inspire them and by tha skill
displayed In their use. The flmt
duty a man owes lo hla rountry t to reiilige
that he cannot liquidate his Indebtedness to
It by vain complacency; In the survival of
nation the vanity of man haa no place.
We are boastful of our wealth, our
luxury, our architecture, our educa
tion, but when these things become
so paramount in. a nation's life that
they form the chief Incentive to Indi
vidual efforts then the factors that
constitute military strength. I.e., to
hold place In national life against all
comers, fall away. As sung by Gold
smith." Ill fares the land to hastening 111 a prey.
Wrier wealth accumulate and men decay.
As most emphatically expressed by a
very' practical man: "We are likely to
keep on courting ease, piling up money
and rejoicing supinely In our civiliza
tion, until a horde of vandals, bred to
poverty and with an Inborn grievance
against wealth and power; men Inured
tu iiariltUjj.'iVlio live (in. Hiisi they can
get and blow their noses with their
thumbs and fingers come along and
stamp us and our civilization out."
Who in the luxurious kingdoms of
Asia, asks our author, "feared the
sklnrobed Hun"? Who in Rome
dreaded the "canine-toothed vandals
whose wealth did not exceed the skins
that clothed them or the spearheads
and swords In their hands"?
It. is conceded that gold may har
ness men for war, but it has never en
abled them to conquer when opposed
to those whose discipline had been
kneaded into the marrow of their
bones. War between wealth and mili
tant energy has but one end, the old
doom of the purple Persian. A nation
that Is rich, vain and at the same time
unprotected provokes wars and hastens
Its own ruin. Volunteers become sol
diers in the effective sense only after
they cease to be volunteers, at the end
of the second or third year, while
militia are made into soldiers only af
ter they have had their minds freed
from the tangled skein of false notions.
Anent the value of the militia In
the sudden stress of war. General Chaf
fee quotes General Washington as
saying: ,
Regular troop alone ar equal to the exl
genrlea of modern war. as wall for defenae
a for offense; and when a substitute 1
attempted It must prove llluaory and ruin
ous; no militia will ever acquire the habits
neceesary to resist a regular force. Th
firmness necessary for the business of fight
ing Is only to be attained by a constant
course of discipline and service.
From all of this and much more as
reflecting the Judgment and experience
of military leaders and from the con
victions of a militant writer who has
made close and exhaustive study of
the theme it appears that not all tho
wealth of the nation, not all of Its
self-complacency and pride in its civili
zation will enable it to prevent a for
eign enemy sfrom landing upon our
soil under cover of the guns of its
battle fleets, after having overcome
such resistance as we are able to op
pose to It at sea. The "Valor of Ig
norance" In which by Implication this
country re-sts will stand bare-handed
against the forces that a militant
power, trained and disciplined in the
art of war may hurl against it. The
result in such a case cannot be doubt
ful. The "Valor of Ignorance" may
grapple valiantly with such a situation
but it is idle to suppose that it could
conquer it, until It is Itself replaced
by field experience and discipline ac
quired at fearful cost.
The Journal I not a single tax paper.
Its rhli!her Is a single taxer. But its
publlHhrr ha never made The Journal an
organ of personal convictions. The
Journal has never advocated single tax. It
has never undertaken to drive that policy
upon the people of Oregon. It has. In fairness
and fcarV-ssnos. opened It columns wide
to a free discussion of both sides and left
tho decision to th peopl of Oregon.
Portland Journal.
The Journal publisher has never
made that paper the organ or record of
his convictions, or any one's convic
tions, if they were not likely to prove
popular. That Is what's the matter,
and all that's the matter, and the pub
lic sees it clearly. But the Journal's
columns are open free to a daily
discussion by the paid Fels bureau of
the single tax. Every line of the man
ufactured stuff prepared by Crldge,
Fggleston et al. of the hired writers
has the right of way. The open forum
is not an open forum; It is the chosen
avenue by which the single taxers
reach the public ear. What a shout
ing, ranting, bold, brave champion of
single tax would this Bob Acres of
Journalism be If single tax had a
chance!
The people have an opportunity this
year of securing an equitable revision
of the tariff according to impartially
ascertained facts and taking it out of
politics for all time. If they re-elect
him with the backing of a Congress
pledged and to be trusted to carry out
his platform, this long-desired work
can be done in the next four years.
If they elect Roosevelt, they will elect
a man who never had a tariff policy.
If they elect La Follette, they will elect
a man who is committed as fully to a
policy of barter with the Democrats aa
are the standpat Republicans to a pol
icy of barter among the protected in
terests. If they elect a Democrat, they
will elect a man whose party is com
mitted to a policy of hacking at the
tariff with an ax, not knowing where
to hit and how deep to cut. From
Taft alone we know what to expect
and we can be sure of an earnest effort
to give It.
A typographical error In the article
on' "Ship Subsidy in New Guise" in
The Oregonlan, April 6, quotes Colo
nel Goethals as estimating that the
Panama Canal will be able to pass
8,000,000 tons of shipping in the first
year of Its operation. This should
have read 80,000.000 tons. As Profes
sor Johnson estimates the tonnage
which will use the canal In Its first
year at 10,500,000, a canal with a ca
pacity of only 8.000,000 would be too
small from the first.
Politics can boll hotter In Boise than
in any other small city In tho Union,
which explains the fact of a large per
centage of voters desiring office. But
Boise has the saving grace of general
harmony after election.
Low water In the boiler la given as
cause of the explosion of the Southern
Pacific locomotive, and, as the men re
sponsible for such alleged cause are
dead, that reason must stand.
A pension claim the entire country
wlll approve Is that of the Ohio woman
who gave sixteen sons to the Union In
the Civil War.
Abe Ruef behind the bars Is safe
from results that might follow his ex
pose of men and methods.
Only a week's supply of onions is
left of the Oregon crop distressing
news to the lover of hash.
Every shipping station In Oregon re
ports a big business in eggs, yet good
prices are maintained.
The smell of the upturned soil was
an Incense to the nostrils of the sub
urbanite yesterday.
Oregon prosperity Is shown by nearly-
J100.000.000 life Insurance In the
past year. .
Hon. Milt Miller I: the last Democrat
In Oregon who would be chosen for a
quitter.
The Dalles is maintaining Its right
to be called the Cherry City.
Japan has bought a German dirigi
ble to secure the pattern.
Hlllman finds it mighty hard to go
to Jail. -
Jiao Ea&ter hat had Its own weaUier,J
At the Cafeteria
By Addison Bennett.
In the stillness following the dinner
rush the cashier at the cafeteria was
gazing longingly at a picture of an
Easter bonnet which she had pinned
under the counter. The picture, un- (
derstand, not the bonnet. The picture, t
was a reality. The bonnet! she hoped
that would be also: but other Easter
hopes had gone a-gllmmerlng and per
haps he would not come through this
year according to promise. "You never
can tell." soliloquized the fair one as
she rang up a ten-cent check, and not
another prospect In sight.
But as the clock chimed 2 the outer
door was pushed violently open, as if
somebody In a preat hurry was
In search of nourishment. And
close upon the heels of the hurrying
one came in two more, all seemingly in
a great rush. The three were the fat
man. the. attenuated one and the vege
tarian. They passed down the line and
selected such delectable delectables as
suited their fancy. The checks were, in
their order. 10 cents, 11.20 and
40 cents, the vegetarian going' It
rather strong, having discovered
that the pies served at that
particular caravansary were of the
vegetarian order; so he had selected
four slices of pi for his dinner, es
chewing, rather choosing not to chew
beans on that particular day.
Seated at the table and busy with
their various Implements of transpor
tation from plate to mouth, the fat
rnan remarked to the attenuated one
upon the bulging pocket of their mu
tual friend, the vegetarian. "Them,"
said the chap with the 40-cent check,
"is seed catalogues, and I wish to in
form you two fellers that from now on
It Is the strenuous life for me; I'm
going to be a farmer man from this
day forth."
"What in thunder," asked the fat
one. "do you know about farming?"
"Me?" said the vegetarian, "me?" And
as he took in turn a bite from each dif
ferent kind of pie on his plate he
looked with silent scorn, not to say
disgust, at his two brothers-at-table.
More silence, more disgust, more rat
tling of knife and fork and spoon, un
til finally the pie eater begged to in
form his friends, and all of their
friends, and everybody In general and
particular that he was born on a farm,
"brung up" on a farm, knew all about
farming, knew every rule from A to Iz
zard going to make the great game of
agriculture pleasant and profitable
particularly profitable.
"L.et me." said he, continuing, meantime
holding the hunk of pie in each hand,
which he flourished for emphasis as he
became more and more vehement, "let
me tell you two guys something; but
first I will presume enough upon your
intelligence to suppose that possibly
you have been reading something about
this 'ere "back to the farm' movement.
I guess you have seen something about
It in the papers. Well, whyfore that
cry, wherefore them appeals? Because
the farmers of the present day don't
know anything about the agricultural
game, that's why; they don!t know the
frrst principles of the game.
"Farming," continued the vegetarian,
as he wiped his nose on his paper nap
kin, "farming Is, or ought to be, and
must be to make a success of It, a sci
entific game, and not a game of chance,
as many galoots like you suppose. And
the great trouble with the farmers of
the present day is that they are long
on wind and muscle, but short on brains
and fi-nance."
"Well," remarked the others in uni
son, "go ahead, get It out of your sys
tem, devour your pie and then explain
what you mean and why you mean it,
and what you are going to do about it.
Po you intend to raise pie fruit ex
clusively? Which do you prefer, pies
from Spring planting or those, neeiexi
in late in the Fail after Summer fal
lowing? And In your agricultural ex
periences, varied and promiscuous, aid
you ever run across a breed of cows
that could be fed on hops with success
in a prohibition community?
Mad? Geehossophat, or something
equivalent to that, how mad that veg
etarian was! He spluttered-pie, ex
humed pie, bled pie from all four cor
ners of his mouth, said mouth being
originally constructed with only two
corners, but a steady vegetarian diet
had caused this particular mouth, in
fits of anger, to assume a queer and
aggressive shape. It looked for a mo
ment as if he would use swear words.
"There Is no use talking sense to
such Idiots as you are," continued the
pie-eater, "not the least bit in the
world. It would be like a farmer cast
ing swine before pearls, Just the same
as the. 'scriptures say it in the revised
addition of the new testimony. Just the
same. You bet Moses knowed what he
was writing about when he Jotted down
them few lines with his fountain pen.
It is quite as useless to try to get an
idea, particularly an agricultural idea,
through your thick skulls as it would
be to drive a needle through a camel's
eye, for. of course, no respectable camel
would stand for that, nor would you
two fellers stand for me driving an
idea into your heads with a sledge
hammer and a monkey wrench, and
that Is the only way you will ever get
an- Idea into your noggins.
"Allow me to tell you this: I have
bought a piece of land, about ten acres
of land, not very far from here, out
Gresham way, mebbe, mebbe some other
way. I don't Intend to tell no scoffers
like you fellers until I get things start
ed to grow. This farm is first to be
a frutt proposition, principally apples.
And I am going to teach the apple
growers at the NorthweBt some new
wrinkles about the apple business, first
and foremost of which "
"Hold on a minutes," said the at
tenuated one. who had Just come to the
end of the second column in his repast,
"hold on. a minute: why don't you go a
little slower so we can keep up with
you and throw In a valuable suggestion
now and then? We may be fools, this
devourer of sawdust and myself; but let
us suggest that this fruit called chest
nuts Is going to bo a better paying
proposition than apples."
Silence thereupon reigned for a mo
mont, when the fat man remarked that
he had for some time been engaged in
getting ready to embark in the poultry
business, and was even now the pos
sessor of an incubator that would con
tain 400 eggs. And the attenuated one
came, back with the remark that he
also ''was making a study of tho hen
industry, and had about got to the point
where he was going to invest in some
breeding stock.
"Holy smoke." quoth the vegetarian.
"How lucky that I spoke those few
words to you two fellers! Gee, but I'm
glad. Now, above everything else In
the farming way, nothing pays like the
poultry business. Here I have got the
land, one of you has an Incubator, all
of us have been studying the business:
all we need is each to put in his brains
and a little money, go out on my place
and start into the poultry business on
a big scale, on an intelligent scale, in
an up-to-date way, and all grow rich
together.
"And, If 1 had hunted the country
over, I couldn't have found two fellers
who'l would rather go in cahoots with
than you. You are both square, both
reliable, and with all of our combined
Intelligence we are sure to make a go
of it."
.s they paid their checks and wan
dered out they might have been over
heard to give a name to the new corpo
ration which they feel sure is soon to
supply the principal portion of the "hen
products" to the Portland people
The Cafeteria Poultry Company, Lim
ited, J
Land Laws Liberal Bnt Interests ef
People Are Protected.
WOODSTOCK, April 6. (To the Edi
tor.) In an editorial today under the
heading of Canada's Settlers you seem
to Invite a discussion, when you ask
"How does It happen that Canada gets
the desirable Immigrants while we get
the dregs?" With your kind permis
sion I should like to give a few such
reasons as I see them after diagnos
ing the situation, being fully aware
that the question is a very complex
one.
Canada at the time of our separation
from the Mother Country thad only re
cently been wrested from France. She
at once became the asylum of the con
servative or Tory element of the Ameri
can colonists. This was the first In
vasion of the American farmer. Here
they Joined and incorporated them
selves with that large element of that
sturdy Highland Scotch race that were
driven from their northern fastness
after CyUoden and "45." In the early
part of the last century the wheat
that could be raised cheaply in the
Ohio Valley had to seek outlet and
Britain having the cash changed to
free trade and bought cheap wheat.
This movement ruined the Scotch
farmer, and was the direct cause of the
Crofter imigration into Canada. The
French part of the Canadian popula
tion although not a negligible quantity
soon found themselves In the minority
and this assured an Anglo Saxon gov
ernment with all that it means as to
how that race has solved the question
of self government.
As long as we had cheap lands ob
tainable under our lax land laws by
anyone we of course drew the largest
share of the Immigrants very many
good and some not so good. Now our
public domain is gone or nearly so.
It is true we still have vast tracts
that can be brought under cultivation
by means of Irrigation, but this means
a vast expenditure' of money and also
means taxation to the limit. Now the
statesmen as well as the rank and
file of the people of Canada have ob
served how we have handled our public
domain and natural resources and they
have been shrewd enough to Bee that
the spirit of the age would not permit
them to follow our example. They
made up theft- mind to build their na
tional fabric on justice and fairer lines.
Look at their land laws. They are
liberal but the occupier of the soil for
agricultural purposes does not go below
the plow line with his right. The min
erals, coal, iron, copper and others, be
long to all the people in common. This
Is as it should be. We have allowed
the speculator to absorb all or nearly
all the white coal in the country. Not
so in Canada. There is the reason why
Ottawa can sell an electric horsepower
for $10 per annum, while we right here
in Oregon, are to pay the Lord only
knows what. I believe it is $260 or
some such figure.
Now Is it to be wondered at that
Canada gets the cream of the immigra
tion? When we take into consideration
that the Northern races have still p
fairly good remembrance of the clan
family compact we need not wonder
that 90 per cent of this year's immi
gration into Canada is Scotch or
British. And this is as it should be.
Men who are born north of Both par
allel of north latitude will be far bet
ter suited to Canada than are the peo
ple of middle or Southern Europe. They
may possibly turn out to be a stubborn
race but they will be virile, thrifty and
law abiding.
The greatest trait that I see In the
Canadian character is this: After he
has made a law unto himself he allows
that law to have despotic sway.
Hence he has security. When we in
this country come to the same con
clusion we shall have less soap-box
oratory, less graft, less anarchy, but
we shall gain Immeasurably in self
respect, stability and prosperity.
GEORGE FOPH.
SOCIALISTS AMD DIVERSE VIEWS
Writer Challenges Criticisms Made by
J. H. Wilson.
PORTLAND, April 7. (To the Edi
tor.) In The Oregonlan April 1 ap
pears a letter from J. H. Wilson, of
Corvallls. in which it is claimed that
Job Harriman, Charles Edward Rus
sell and other Socialist writers differ
entirely in their views as to what
constitute the fundamental principles
of Socialism.
According to Mr. Wilson Mr. Russell
says that the only thing that will
satisfy the Socialists is the destruc
tion of private property. Mr. Wilson
has not been careful in reading Rus
sell's writings. Neither Russell nor
any of the other authorities make
such a statement, nor do they have
such diversified notions regarding the
principles of Socialism as Mr. Wilson
would have us believe.
Russell, Harriman and all other
writers on Socialism having any
knowledge of the subject, do claim
that the only thing that will satisfy
the Socialists Is the socializing of all
the means of production and distribu
tion, that Is: the Government ownership
of these coupled with genuine demo
cracy in government. N
There is nothing In Harriman's Chi
cago speech that would indicate other
wise not- even In the part quoted by
Mr. Wilson. Indeed that quotation well
illustrates ' the cause of the class
struggle which is recognized by all
Socialists.
Mr. Wilson says that "Mr. Harriman
wants shorter hours, lighter burdens,
more pay." Then follows with. "They
all have different points of view." Now
if Mr. Wilson can show where Mr.
Russell or any other Socialist is not
working for these very things with
all his might or where the whole So
cialist body have not always struggled
fiercely for them I should like to have
him do so.
And who opposes them? Men like Mr.
Wilson, who says further on, "They
(the Socialists) think conditions in
tolerable in the United States. Let
them go to China where seven out of
every ten babes starve to death for
want of nutrition." He then points the
discontented workers to India's down
trodden masses, but fails to state that
India is saddled with the rule of the
greatest profit-taking nation of the
earth or that China is just evolving
from mediaeval conditions. These are
the standards by which he would have
us measure our own conditions.
According to Professor Scott Nearing
in "Wages in America," 60 per cent, of
the male industrial workers of this
country receive less than $500 per an
num. Mr. Wilson says we live too
high. Will he kindly submit a detailed
statement showing how I can support
a wife and three children on $500 a
year and "lay up more man x i-ycnu.
aa ho cars IS DOSSlDie;
Water Towera Five Feet Long.
London Standard.
Collapsible water towers adopted by
the Berlin fire department are but five
feet long when closed, yet can be ex
tended to throw a level stream of wa
ter Into a window on the eighth floor
of a building.
Emerson's Granddaughter, Kane.
Indianapolis News.
Few callings are more highly es
teemed than that of the trained nurse.
Miss Ellen Emerson, the granddaugh
ter of Ralph Waldo Emerson. Is a
nurse In the Massachusetts General
Hospital, Boston.
Air Nitrates for Crops.
Baltimore American.
Air nitrates, produced by electricity
in Norway according to Consul-General
Bordewich, are sold for export at an
average of $39 per ton at the works,
exclusive of packing.
Half a Century Ago
vFrom The Oregonlan of April 8, ISSi.
General Burnside's forces have taken
Newbeln and Beaufort, N. C. with pris-,
oners, cannon and military stores.
General Shields, with his division,
met a superior rebel force under Gen
eral Johnson near Winchester and beat
them in pitched battle with great
slaughter.
The rebels are drawing in their
forces from different points on the Po
tomac with the design, probably, of
making fight for Richmond.
Our troops have taken possession of
most of the forts In East Florida, and
tho rebel government recommends an
abandonment of that part of the state.
It is said that the rebels design to
make a stand at Corinth, Miss., where
It Is supposed, they have 70.0u0 men.
A battle was progressing between the
forces of Bishop and General Polk, who
had escaped from Columbus to Island
No. 10 (In the Mississippi River), on
which he had raised defenses. General
Pope holds the river below and Com
modore Foote commands the river
above. Our gunboats are throwins
shells and shot among the rebels d;iy
and night. Escape to them Is hardly
possible.
New York, March 20. A special
dispatch to the New York papers says
Jeff Davis issued a proclamation on the
10th, calling all the male population
between the ages of 16 and 60 to form
themselves Into companies to report
Immediately at headquarters.
Union ticket. The following are th
candidates nominated at the ward meet
ings on Saturday night to be elected
today. The committees for conference
appointed by the several wards re
ported the following as candidates; For
Mayor, H. W. Corbett: Recorder, Wil
liam L. McEvan: Treasurer, H. B.
Morse; Assessor, R. J. Ladd: City Mar
shal. William Grooms; Councilmen.
First Ward. Thomas A. Davis, T. J.
Holmes, Dan W. Burnsides: Councilmen
Second Ward. J. M. Breck. O. Risley.
E. E. Randall; Councilmen. Third Ward
& Coffin, A. G. Walling, C. Silvers.
We noticed a large crowd collected
in front of the Columbian Hotel on
Saturday. On making our way to the
scene we found an old white cayuse
the object of so much attention. A
candidate for fame got on his back
when a regular sampede took place, the
cayuse jumping wildly In all directions.
Bulwer's beautiful play of "The Lady
of Lyons" will be performed at the
theater tonight, Mrs. Pope as Pauline
and Mr. Pope as Claude Melnotte.
Mr. H. A. Hogue requests us to say
that he Is not a candidate for City
Assessor.
In front of the Metropolis Hotel we
saw on Saturday evening a large crowd
collected, who were called there to at
tend a ratification meeting. A barrel
of tar was set on fire as a beacon. We
are Informed that several speeches
were made
Notice is hereby given to all persons
who wish to teach the common schools
of this county for the ensuing year,
that an examination of teachers will
be held at the public schoolhouse, in
Portland, on Saturday, the 12th day of
April, inst., at 9 o'clock P. M. A punct
ual and a general attendance is de
sired. SYLVESTER PENNOYER.
School Superintendent Multnomah Co.
As "EcP Howe Sees Life
Unless there is possibility back of it.
no bluff will work. Water in a well
can't bluff a man at the top by say
ing: "I'm coming up there to slap you
in the face."
We all hate to send out a quarrel
some disagreeable man to represent us.
but if he is the pitcher on the home
team, and we believe he can win the
game, we'll do it.
When you abuse a man you are not
only guilty of that: you are guilty of
inventing a lot of your "facts."
Many schemes go wrong that should
go wrong. Your little scheme won't
work unless it recognizes the rights of
others in the big scheme of life.
The devil is meaner than I think he
Is If he paves hell with good intentions
A good intention, however mistaken it
may be, is entitled to some respect-
You know men invent stories and
tell them, but if you know women do
it. too, you abuse others or saying so.
That's what you call gallantry.
If you have a friend you greatly ad
mire and with whom you never find
fault, how it hurts you to hear that
he has been "picking" at you.
There is a saying that it is Impossible
to please everybody. It should bf
changed to it is impossible to please
anybody.
When a woman says.' "I just love to
fool with chickens," she means she
Just loves to sell eggs at 40 cents a
dozen.
People seem to expect less of mar
riage here lately and get more out
of It.
FRIENDS OP DECEXCT IrrfcST VOTE
Election of Right Man as District At
torney Depends on Theni.
PORTLAND, April - (To the Edi
tor.) How noticeable it is that the man
first to complain of unjust conditions in
civic life is the man who generally
takes the least part in the duties which
every citizen owes to the community.
Little reason has the decent and law
abiding citizen to complain when, on
the day of election, he sits the whole
day at his desk or works all day in
the store, entirely forgetful of the fact
that on that day his vote is needed.
However this may be on the part of
the better class of voters, a marked
contrast exists In the part of the city
where the office-seeking politician
lines up his mob for the polls. There
is no laxity and no indifference there.
The fact that in residence portions of
this city the vote cast has been, in
most cases, far less in proportion to the
nooulatlon than In the North End, Is
a burning disgrace and a shame upon
those communities. Let it be that this
election will mark a change In this re
gard, ana let it be tnat you of the bet
ter element will rise to put an end to
corrupt and dishonest seekers for pub
lic office.
Your vote is needed at this election
and as a citizen of this county let tt
not be said that you have failed to do
your plain duty. If you fail to assert
your influence and by your failure to
do so, the office of District Attorney is
occupied by a man wholly Incompetent
and corrupt, forget It not that his be
ing there will be wholly the relt of
your Inactivity.
Walter H. Evans should not be de
feated for District Attorney. Entering
this fight with a clean record for up
rightness, honesty and ability, it is the
duty of every voter of the better class
to lend him support, to the end that
good government may prevail. This of
fice Is, of all offices, the one over which
should preside a fair, honest and im
partial man. From no point of view,
moral or otherwise, can we afford to
fill this office with a man of low char
acter and questionable reputation.
For the good of Multnomah County,
and as a duty you owe to your com
munity, let it be hoped that all good
men will meet this occasion and lend
Mr. Evans their earnest support.
6. A.