Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, April 08, 1911, Page 10, Image 10

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    THE 3IOIOTXG OKEGOMAX, SATURDAY, APRIL 8, 1911.
i ii '
FOHTLAXD. ORXOOX.
Esterxl at Portland. Grasoa. Post off! c aa
lMa:(tw Kataa Invariably la AdTaaaa.
HT MAIL)
rl!y. BotJt Included, on yer r
t-ailr. Fuad Isclu4xl. a'.t month....
Lain. S-iauay locludaJ. thraa monlll. Z
t'.ij. Suaaar tadaded. aaa. monia. ... -J
1-ailr. wttiout fcti&dtT. eaa ar.. V-Vr
Ii;r. without Sjailajr, a:s month,
t-ailr. ritnout "uadar. tbras monte
t-allv. eutbout Sunday, ana a&ontft.
Wakl. ana yaar.
Sua4ay, ar.a rear....
fi-i.das aaa araealy. ana rr
a.25
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13
IDT CARRIER
ralTy. gaadar Included, ooa yaar. ..... t-J
iai:y. Sunday lnr-utle-1. ona month-. ...
U la Keaail saaa poatofflca
ardr. nprtM rdr or paraonal eback ae
our tank Stamp, co.n or eurroe
re at tna jodar-a nu. Oia poaiofttce
ad-ra Is fn:t laelndtnc county and state.
raacaaT Rtaa iO to 14 paaaa. I eeaf. IS
ta 1 pea. a casta; JO la w rl cents.
0 ta paa. 4 casta. Foria soataaa
l9-il rata.
baatara Baataaaa OfTWe Terra at Con -Hn
.s-w fark. Hniasalck. Bulldlns. Col
cere. 8te building.
X-OkMjLL.M. ATt KOArTaJ-KJI. ..
CIZMWOIK As) TO ROOSEVELT.
A political writer of National repu
tation for keen vision and correct
Judgment, recently In Portland. M
asked his personal opinion aa to the
tIana of Colonel Roosevelt toward th
IUlllCilUM IIVIUIHMIUU . . --
do I know?" he replied. "I have
been rueslng; about ISoosevelt for
twenty-five yean, and I have been
wrong every time; so I have given It
BP"
The despairing confession of this fa
mous political soothsayer U a sufficient
warning; to any one as;alnst he folly
of prophesying what Roosevelt will do.
Tet hts recent vtlt to Oregon. In
course of his widespread "awing
around the ctrcle.?-rvlve the general
Interest In hi personal and political
future, and stimulates curiosity as to
the real purpose of his transconti
nental Journey. The answer . aa to
Colonel Roosevelt's mission on the Pa
cific Coast ought to bo simple enough,
lie came West on Invitation to dedi
cate the great Roosevelt dam In Arl
sona, and to deliver a series of formal
lectures at the University of California
and at Stanford. Incidentally he re
turned vu the Pacific Northwest.
Why should he notT
Colonel Roosevelt ought to have the
light to g-o and come as he pleases, of
course, without Inviting the sugges
tion or Intimation that he has some
ulterior purpose. Undoubtedly he had
not In coming to Oregon. He had a
natural and proper Interest In this
country: he did not need to come to
ascertain the measure of his popular
ity or to exploit himself aa a possible
or probable candidate for future Pres
idential honors.
Colonel Roosevelt is a man of re
markable acumen. He knows that
there la a political tide that, taken at
the Cood. leads on to fortune, and
that there Is also a time for disappear.
Ir.g. Could Roosevelt be nominated In
1311 If he tried to be? We doubt it.
Not against President Taft. The East
would be against him. and the South.
They would dominate the National Re
publican Convention. Could Roose
velt be elected If nominated? With
out questioning that he would perhaps
be the strongest Republican nominee.
It is problematical if he could defeat
such a Democrat as Woodrow Wilson.
Here again the East wou'd not be
united for Roosevelt and the South
would as usual be solid against him.
These conditions Colonel Roosevelt
doubtless sees Clearly. He U. as he al
ways was, a party man; he believes in
settling party contests within the
party. He knows that he would di
vide the Repubtlcan party If he were
to be nominated In 1913 through the
defeat of Taft. and he would recruit
uncertain strength only from the
masses of the Democratic party. The
outlook is not auspicious for him, then,
la 1113.
But how about 191? President
Taft will have been eliminated through
the termination of his second term, if
he shall have been elected In 11I.
or by his defeat for re-election. In
either event the coast will be claar. If
Taft shall be defeated, the Republican
party will Inevitably turn to Roosevelt
la Ult. as its only possible savior.
Colonel Roosevelt will then be SS years
old not too o!J for another terra, or
two terms. The third-term bugaboo
will have been eliminated by the Taft
Interregnum. The Democracy will
have had four years to develop Its
weaknesses, follies and Inevitable dis
sensions. The Republican party will
have had the opportunity In Its four
years In the minority to heal Its
wounds, cement lu differences, bury
the past and get together. The pen
dulum will likely have swung back
toward the Republicans after four
year of Democratic rule: or If there
hall be a second Taft term, the coun
try Taft Included may and probably
will be ready for Roosevelt again.
That these considerations will appeal
to most observers of political condi
tions Is clear enough; that they will
make the same Impression on Roose
velt as on others Is not so clear. 80.
as we have said, prophecy aa to what
he will do Is mere guesswork; but It
is Interesting guesswork.
roTTort is mix. a.ic..
Details of the exports of the United
Ftatea for the first eight months of
the current fiscal year show that
"King Cotton" has a firmer hold on
his throne than ever before. In a
total of 11.434. 000.000 In exports for
the eight months, cotton Is credited
with nearly 1500.000.000. Based on
the exports for the eight months and
the engagements made for the remain
der of the season. It is estimated that
the total by July 1 will reach liOO.
000.000. The Importance of these fig
vres can best be understood when it
Is stated that In no pretious year has
the total for the twelve months
reached J500.000.000. Prior to this
year the maximum reached was S4S1.
000. 000. and no farther back than
101 the maximum was less than
J 300.000.000. From these figures It
Is quite plain that the country owes
much to the great Southern staple for
st restoration of our creditable trade
balance.
White In value these cotton ship
ments have far exceeded those of any
similar period In the past, the amount
shipped Is smaller than for some pre
ceding periods of eight months. The
uniform high prices that cotton has
commanded throughout the season
have had the effect of stimulating
cotton culture In other parts of the
world. The British Cotton Growing
Association and the French Colonial
Cotton Association are co-operating In
sin effort to extend the cultivation of
cotton Into new territory and are car
rying on quite an active campaign In
the hope that they may some day be
xome Independent of the American
planters. Thus far the results have
not been sufficiently Important to
cause much anxiety In this country,
but a continuation of present high
prices, together with the raplJ!y-ln-creasing
demand, may change the
situation.
Russia, which to the average lay
man does not appear to be well adapt
ed to cotton-growing, has been experi
menting In the southern part of the
empire and In Central Asia and the
Crimea with such good results thnt
the 1910-11 yield Is placed at 900.000
bales, compared with 795.000 bales in
the preceding year.
These totals do not appear large
compared with the 10.000.000 bales
which this country produced a year
ago. or with the 13.000.000 bales
which 1t has produced In good years
In the past. But the experiments are
being can-led on In China, . Africa.
Brazil, the Argentine. Feru. the West
Indies, Japan and in other countries
which can see In present prices and a
growing market very satisfactory re
turns. In Brazil an effort Is being
made to cultivate two species of cotton-bearing
trees. The products are
too coarse to take the place of the
American cotton for fine fabrics, but
as a substitute for use for blankets
and coarse goods they can be used.
It will be many years, however, be
fore the American cotton-growers will
have much reason to fear competition
from any other country, ""d King
Cotton will continue to draw more
foreign money into this country than
can be attracted here by any other of
our great staples.
OMI T CSTT-THRFE.
The last day for filing Initiative or
referendum petitions for measures to
be voted on at the forthcoming June
city election has passed, and the pub
lic knows the worst. Only twenty
three bills are proposed for considera
tion. To the voter who found himself
confronted at the recent state election
with thirty-two measures, many of
them being of the most Important
character. It w 111 seem mere child s
play to dispose of a paltry twenty
three. Besides, there Is nothing worth
more than a few moments' considera
tion to be determined. Only the mat
ter of a few million dollars J3.S:5.
000. to be exact to be Issued In bonds.
If the public approves, and such simple
problems as the following:
Direct tas levy for maintaining Street
cicenina 1 part meat.
'rnlona lor firemen, policemen and strtat
Cleaning employee.
Public eoliaetion of garbaga.
OoTornlng the making of fills.
Competition In newer plpa.
Competition In paving.
Municipal oanerahip and msJntanaaee
of tret-palng plant.
Providing tor a public service commis
sion. Taxing corporations.
"So aeat. no fara' scheme.
prohibiting city from giving away er
sailing waterfront proparty.
Restricting billboard.
Vacating Orason and Adams atroats.
Carrying of bannar on atreeta.
Making boycott unlawful.
Besides, the various bond proposals.
Including $1,400,000 for another Wil
lamette bridge, J250.000 for the pur
chase of Council Crest. $600,000 for an
auditorium. $200,000 for tClty Jail,
and several others.
It U a large order, though not so
Urge as last November's. Perhaps
hlgh-'water mark was reached then.
Then again perhaps not. Already a
variety or legislative projects to say
nothing of herculean movements for
a referendum of various acts of the
Ull Legislature are under way for
next year. Tour ubiquitous petition
maker and signature-chaser never
sleeps. We have got to see the thing
through.
The only safe way through and out
Into the open of sane government by
the people Is "when In doubt, to vote
NO."
THE KXSFER ANTI Tin. GOLDT.S
ITJ-UK,
Some ships, like some men,
throughout their existence have
stormy, sensational careers, while
other ships and other men drift along
without anything- ever happening to
them. The old bark Hesper was not
launched for a prosaic life and In the
forty years since she has been roaming
the seas she has supplied a world of
racy news for water-front reporters.
The performances of some of her
"bucko" mates are to this day dis
cussed In remote and near parts of
the world wherever sailors congregate,
and the annals of the sea offer noth
ing more cruel and weird than the
mutiny and murder that left her In
the South Pacific In the hands of a
few desperate sailors who had killed
her officers.
It Is hardly probable that there will
be any more mutinies, murders or
bucko mxtes on the Hesper, but she
is now being prepared for a voyage
that is enough out of the ordinary to
present possibilities for a sensation.
For the ancient Hesper is being fitted
out for a quest of the Oolden Fleece
Of Cocos Island, and. Judced by past
performances, she Is a fitting craft
for such a voyage.
The Coco Island treasure was sup
posed to have been hidden by Just
such bold, bad men of the sea as those
who made the Hesper's decks run red
with blood, and If the Victorians who
are fitting out the expedition should
prove successful It would be fitting
that the news of their success should
be brought back to civilization by this
old craft that, has In the past blown
In from the ocean with so many first
page stories.
There has been fully ss much dig
ging for the Cocos Island treasure as
there was for that which Captain Kldd
Is supposed to have burled on the
other side of the continent, but It still
remains hidden treasure. Science and
common sense have eliminated most
of these stories of burled treasure
from the public mind, but with the
historic Hesper carry'" adventurers
to historic Cocos Island there are more
than average possibilities for a first
class tale even If there Is no treasure
recovered.
A TWEI.T ri.H.
Mrs. Lola G. BalJwin makes proper
protest, from the standpoint of one
who knows whereof she speaks, against
conditions that exist in many rooming
houses of this city In which reputuble
working women are forced to seek
shelter because of lnsuQicient hotel
and boarding-house accommodations
suited to their requirements. She cites
the fact that the T. W. C. A. Is uuable
to accommodate many who seek Its
protection, and urges the necessity of
a woman's hotel In this city.
In this connection It may be well
to call attention to the effort that the
Portland Woman's Union Is making in
this behalf. An organization of many
years' standing, the Woman's Union
maintains a boarding home for work
ing girls, which, through careful man
agement. Is kept nppn a practically
self-supporting basts. Its accommo
dations are, however. Inadequate to
serve the numbers that press upon It
nm and nnnrrl. and the aulet
and protection of home. A large and
constantly growing waning list is m
mute and earnest evidence of the need
of a new building of dimensions and
accommodations sufficient to meet the
simple needs and moderate means of
women who work for a living. A
suitable site has been secured partially
by gift and devlsement. upon which
to place such a building and earnest
effort Is being made to secure the
means necessary to release this site
from debt and build thereon a mod
ern, fireproof structure that will meet
v.. Aniilrements of the case.
W 1 17 ificaoitin -- "
The association has a small endowment
fund a bequest or the late mrs. xur
reil and a building fund wholly in
sufficient to meet Its needs.
The nucleus for a groat work Is
here. The foundation has been well
and carefully laid. Its object Is not
to extend charity to a worthy, self
supporting and self-respecting class of
workers, but to provide accommoda
tions of room and boai"d at rates which
their earnings will enable them to pay.
The demand Is urgent. The people of
Portland are well able to meet IX. They
cannot. Indeed, afford to Ignore It.
THE ARMY AND TYPHOID.
Of course e all hope that our mili
tary officers who are engaged In the
search for an antl-typhold serum will
succeed In their quest. Where men
cannot be prevailed upon to keep
themselves and their surroundings
reasonably clean, some sort of a serum
must be relied upon to prevent ty
phoid. Unfortunately, in tho time of
our Spanish War the desired serum
was not at hand and" the poor volun
teers perished by the hundred because
there was nobody to tell them the sim
ple trutha of hygiene. Uncovered gar
bage heaps attracting swarms of llles
combined with embalmed beef did the
deadly work.
Typhoid fever Is a disease which Is
entirely preventable by practicing ele
.snfsrv eisaniinesa. There Is not the
slightest need of any serum to combat
It except for people wno are ucici
mlned to revel In 111th. The newspa
per talk that the experiments of our
Army officers will afford a valuable
demonstration of preventive measures
against typhoid should not be taken
too seriously. Demonstrations of that
sort have been made In Infinite variety
throughout the world, and are on rec
ord In every library, but our military
men have been the last people to heed
them.
The Japanese, as we have heard to
repletion, took advantage of some
.i i. i.niiiiK farts about typhoid
during the Russian war and lost hardly
a man through the 01a military
scourge. Most of the European gov
ernments are applying the same dis
coveries to excellent purpose. Our
officers do not seem to know that
such knowledge Is accessible. They
are adventurously trying experiments
which are ancient in every other coun
try. Our timidity and tardiness in ap
plying the results of science to prevent
typhoid cannot be attributed to popu
lar Ignorance. The populace does not
control the army. It had no voice In
the atrocious blunders of the Spanish
War. It was our highly educated offi
cers who were to blame. In general
the populace Is far ahead of the Gov
ernment in knowledge of science and
readiness to use It.
WASTING THE PEOPLE'S MONEY.
Recent dispatches from Washington
announcing the abolishment of a num
ber of customs collection districts
seem to have been somewhat prema
ture. It was stated that forty-one out
of the 160 .customs districts did not
earn maintenance expenses and .-that
. r ,v,.m in which thto expenses
ranged from $13 to $1070 per year,
1 1 . ... ... Amnno
failed to coiioct v"1."
others. It cost $270 to collect $1 at
Natches. Miss., and $267 at Coos Bay.
There were others in which the cost
of collecting $1 ranged from $75 to
$200.
The reason for the hitch In the re
form proceedings Is the traditional re
lation which the customs office bears
to party politics. This particular fea
ture of the wasteful policy of the Gov
ernment Is not dissimilar to most
of thVothers which have become pro
nounced. Several months ago Senator
Aldrlch startled the country with his
famous statement that a business man
could save $300,000,000 per year In
the conduct of the Government In
the current number of the World's
WVk. Mr. A. W. Dunn presents some
Interesting facts and figures showing
the distribution of the Government
millions and the methods by whloh
they are "Jimmied" out of the Treas
ury and wasted. Mr. Dunn believes
that It Is the failure of the people to
understand the effect of Indirect taxa
tion that is responsible for much or
the waste of Government money.
"There Is an Idea In their minds."
soys Mr. Dunn, "that whatever Is ob
tained from the General Government
Is so much clear irain. It has made
Representatives relontlesa In pursuit
of Federal money. It has created the
pork barrel" and the 'grab bag and
It has forced nearly every man In
Congress to make an appeal to his
constituents by getting money from
the National Treasury to be spent for
their benefit."
It Is this apparent Idea that Govern
ment money "costs nothing" that has
resulted In an Increase In our per
capita disbursements from $2.7$ In
1160 and $7.72 In 1890 to $10.83 In
likO. If every man, woman and child
who was paying this increase of $2.61
over the amount paid 20 years ago
was receiving something tangible for
the 33 per cent Increase, there would
be no occasion for seriously regarding
Senator Aldrlch's statement. Unfor
tunately, the resultant benefits are not
stall In keeping with the expenditures.
In citing the record of a single
member of the House, the late W. G.
Brownlow, of the First Tennessee Dis
trict, Mr. Dunn offers a good illustra
tion of the methods by which practi
cally all of the needless waste of mil
lions Is accomplished. This Industrl
vus member of ConfgVesg. shortly be
fore his death, boasted that during his
service In Congress he had obtained
for his district alone more than $3,
750.000. nearly all of which was ex
pended for public buildings and other
projects for which there was little or
no need. These projects, Mr. Brown
low stated with pride, "meant the
yearly expenditure of $79,449 In the
First Tennessee District," and that
the sum would Increase year by
yaar."
To the many peorle who have found
It Impossible for a strictly meritorious
scheme to receive aid from the Gov
ernment, this prodlsal waste of funds
may seem Inexplainable, but when it
Is stated that Mr. Brownlow's hand
was never raised against another
man's "Job" It la easy to understand
why there was no restraint on the log
rolling policy that produced such a
liberal flow of Government' funds in
a direction where they were needed .
only as payment -for political debts.
Some day the people will demand a
higher grade of statesmanship than
that of which Mr. Brownlow was a
type. They will realize that Govern
ment money does "cost something,"
and that as custodians of' the business,
not of any particular district, but of
all the United States, the Representa
tives in Congress must display some
business sense.
AN OL.D ORC HARD 8TOBY.
The story from The Dalles by Addlr
son Bennett, which tells of the reju
venation of an old orchard, and the
profit that It has brought to the pres
ent owner is not a fairy tale. Nor Is
the instance cited a solitary example
of the reclamation of an old orchard
from " the foes to horticulture that
rally under the banner of unthrlft
and neglect
Industry, persistence and Intelli
gence have worked this miracle of
reclamation over and over again even
In the rigorous climate and stingy soil
of the New England States, while in
Oregon a fair beginning has been
made as cited in the article noted, the
task here being much less arduous
and making earlier returns because of
the kindly climate and generous soil
of the Paolflo Northwest, as compared
with those of the Atlantic seaboard.
The Willamette Valley, contains
many old orchards, unsuited to com
mercial purposes, that have fallen into
neglect- Some of these relatively
few have been 'worked over" In re
cent years with gratifying success;
others, too badly diseased and Infested
to be "worth saving (as compared with
the promise In uprooting and resetting
to fresh, clean stock), have been de
stroyed in the Interest of ambitious
horticulture, and new orchards are
coming into bearing upon the land.
The story Is one that cannot be told
too often, nor given too wide publicity.
It Is the story of energy and persis
tence; of Industry and applied intelli
gence whereby a forlorn bit of acre
age, cumbered by fruit trees that were
gnarled. twisted, mossgrown and
pest-ridden, was transformed in the
space of six years Jnto revenue-producing
property, crowned by a com
fortable, convenient and well-ordered
home.
It is a story that Is good to read,
since It Is replete with encouragement
to the man, and woman working to
gether who undertake the task of
turning a neglected, dilapidated old
ranch orchard into a paying commer
cial proposition.
The engineering feats of the Ameri
can railroad builders are the wonder
of the world. No nation on earth
ever witnessed such stupendous expen
ditures by a single private corporation
for the removal of physical obstacles
as were made by the late E. H. Harrl
man on the Union Pacific and South
ern Pacific. But the Old World has
not yet completed its work of correct
ing the errors of nature. Diminutive
Switzerland, which has always found
It cheaper to tunnel through moun
tains than to climb over them, has
Just completed another $20,000,000
project. Last Friday the big bore
through the Bernese Alps was com
pleted. For a small country like
Switzerland, which had previously In
vested many millions in tunnels, the
work was noteworthy. The tunnel is
nine miles long and has been five and
one-half years under construction.
Fifty lives were lost In building it and
several hundred people were Injured.
The stranding of a big Atlantic
liner like the Princess Irene is an in
ternational affair. The 1720 passen
gers aboard with a crew of more than
600 men undoubtedly Include some
people from nearly all countries of the
world. Modern travel has become so
easy, comparatively Inexpensive and
pleasant, that the big passenger ferries
on the Atlantic recruit their lists not
only from all parts of the United
States, but from all countries of the
Old World. The disaster to the Prln
sess Irene might prove a most Berious
affair were it not for the durability
of modern maritime construction. In
the old days, before the collision bulk
head, steel truss construction and
other safety features, a steamer
caught in the position of the Irene
would be battered to pieces in short
order. In this case the underwriters
may have a large salvage bill to pay.
but the passengers will hardly suffer
much Inconvenience.
Portland's three-score years sit
lightly upon her. The lusty vigor of
youth Is in the wonderful growth seen
on every hand a vigor made possible
by the deep and sure foundations luru
by those who bullded better than they
knew.. and fostered and fed by the de
velopment of the resources of the
abounding wilderness of sixty years
go. i
Seattle's new city paving plant. It
Is reported, cost $33,000. But Port
land proposes to have one costing
$1,000,000. We are no pikers when
It comes to isiulng bonds which don't
cost nobody nothing.
A man who had lived In Council
Bluffs for 68 years Is Just dead at the
age of 105. The special feature of
his life was chewing tobacco for nine
ty years, wrflch Is doubtful fame.
The School Board should be allowed
to complete unfinished schoolhouses
with like material. How can Port
land be a city beautiful with Its edi
fices of a horse and mule variety?
City Councllmen must not fling the
short and ugly word at each other,
nor precede it with the profane adjec
tive. The eye of the people are on
them.
Another Portland bank purposes
raising Its capital to a million. Port
land Is becoming altltudinous In other
things than buildings.
Hasten the day of the fender. A
S-year-old child was rolled seventy
rive feet and then decapitated In
Tacoma yesterday.
The cost of living may seem to be
going down, but you must show the
housewife.
Hermlston wants a laundry. Not
that the people are getting grimy, but
as a business proposition.
The bathtub trust has secured a
continuance, to allow more scrubbing
before presentation.
Lo rimer Is as durnb as the deeps In
Which he seems to stand.
MRS. M'GtJIRB AND COIONBL T. R.
Entertainer Gives Her Side of Race
Suicide Controversy.
PORTLAND, April 7. (To the Edi
tor.) In Justice to myself And for the
information of the reading public I
wish to claim space in the pages of
The Oregonian for a statement of my
Ma of the controversy which our ver
satile ex-President Roosevelt preclpl- j
tated in his speech at tne commercial
Club banquet Wednesday night. When
Colonel Roosevelt finished his speech
and sat down remarking, "Well. I don't
think they'll Jest on that subject for .
a while," he probably thought that the '
Incident was closed so far as further
debate was concerned. But I claim the
woman's prerogative to have the last
word, inasmuch as Colonel Roosevelt
either wittingly or otherwise, misquoted
me. j
Colonel-Roosevelt said: "A description
was given of a woman with a baby in
her arms and twins hanging to her j
skirts. Now that isn't a picture at ;
which anyone might be expected to 1
laugh." - !
That was Just the point I made, and
I made it so strongly that it was un
mistakable to any but the most obtuse
mind. While I made no mention of
such a woman, I left it to be inferred
that it would be a serious spectacle,
by a contrasting picture which I drew
of Colonel Roosevelt In the attlude of
attending to National affairs with a
baby in his arms, twins at his heels .
and six others crying for "bread and j
lasses." I
Among my friends It Is a well-known !
foe that T have verv hlKh and well- '
defined ideas of motherhood, which I
have put Into practice.
Unlike my distinguished critic. I do
not believe In indiscriminate and acci
dentally large families. The mere fact
that a woman is the mother of a dozen
children does not necessarily entitle
her to consideration or respect. The
almshouse and Insane asylums and ,
penitentiaries are filled with human
derelicts whose condition attests the
fallacy of such reasoning. It certainly
is nothing to laugh at! And Colonel
Roosevelt has always advocated not
quality so much as quantity.
But the fact that Colonel Roosevelt
took me to task for my apparent lack
of seriousness concerning the baby ,
supply is of much less importance than
the fact that he offered an Insult to the
committee, who, to use his own words,
provided him with "ona of the most
elaborate and unique entertainments
which he had ever attended." He could,
with equal propriety, have hammered
the table with his bli? stick and ex
claimed, "Gentlemen, I'm man! This is
profoundly absurd! You have provided
a menu which includes fried chicken,
I'll have you understand I don't like
fried chicken! How dare your'
1 In addition he offered further insult
to the 100 guests Including the most
distinguished and Intelligent men of
the city and state when he said, Tt was .
a picture at which no one should '
laugn. rne iaci, 01 tuo roui-iei
they did laugh.
It is rather a significant fact, is it
not, that of all the stunts pulled oft by
the men and of the many other things.,
that were said and done. It should re
main for a poor, little, insignificant
specimen of the weaker sex to furnish
our illustrious guest the text for his
after-dinner speech.
In conclusion, I wish to say, that the
very fact that I was on the programme
at all. but supports the contention that I
made throughout my talk, veiled under
seeming Jest, that Colonel Roosevelt,
the mighty hunter and the champion
of big families knows very little, after
all, about the real burdens of the
masses of American women.
I was there because I support my
"small" family by doing that kind of
work, and while I may have taken oc
casion to Inject some of my pet theories
Into the talk, at the same time It met
with the hearty approval of the com
mittee who paid me to do It; It elicited
the applause of the best citizens of
Portland who paid $10 per plate for the
honor of being present; and best of all,
I was the humble means of providing
Colonel Roosevelt with a theme on
which to discourse after two dull days
intervening between Reno and Port
land. Taking it all in all, I consider
myself fortunate to have escaped as
well as I have, and if he'll only agree
not to put me in the Ananias Club, I'll
promise to be good from now . on.
Maybe. SYLVIA W. M'GUIRB.
WHY" MIL MERRIAM MET DEFEAT.
Writer Declares "Better Claaaca" Did
Not Like Ilia Policies.
PORTLAND, April 7. (To the Editor.)
The editorial In The Oregonian yester
day, under heading "Our Better Clashes,''
seems to me hardly fair to a large num
ber of excellent citizens of Chicago who
saw no better way to register their dis
approval of the peculiar course of
Charles E. Merrlam, candidate for
Mayor in the election Just held, than by
staying away from the polls. It la hard
ly probable the '. was a tihower on elec
tion day that dampened the zeal of those
who might naturally be expected to rally
to the support of Mr. Merrlam. It was,
more probably, disgust with his public
declaration that in cas of his election
he did not propose to Interfere with law
violation.
The facts in the matter ere perfectly
plain. The law of the State of Illinois
forbids the saloon, to be open on Sun
day. The Supreme Court of the state
of Illinois has specifically declared that
the law is In full force and effect In
the City of Chicago as elsewhere
throughout the state. Every Mayor of
Chicago, entering1 upon his oflice. Is
obliged to swear that he will enforce
the laws of the State of Illinois. .
In the face of these facts. II r. Mer
rlam pledged himself to allow the . sa
loons of Chicago to break the law by
keeping open on Sunday. In his speech
before the Hamilton Club, on March 7,
Mr. Merrlam distinctly said that if
elected Mayor of Chicago, he would try
to enforce those laws of the state which
ha believed to be obnoxious to the peo
ple of Chicago, and that people who ex
pected him to el-OS the saloons on Sun
day ought to know better.
In his letter to the United Societies.
Mr. Merrlam said: "If elected Mayor of
the City of Chicago, I will not interfere
with Sunday concerts, or stores, base
ball, parks, saloons and other places of
amusement."
Mr. Merrlam also made It perfectly
clear, in repeated Interviews, that if
elected he would not attempt to enforce
the law of the state which forbids pros
titution, but in that particular would
follow the policy of Illegal regulation
and toleration which hAd been followed
by other Mayors of Chlcsgo.
No, It was not a rainy election day
that defeated Mr. Merrlam. It was sim
ply disgust on the part of "our better
classes" with a man who, while posing
as a . ''Holler than Thou," was willing
to prostitute himself for the sake of
office to the extent which he did. A
large number of decent voters of the
City of Chicago caught on to the fact
(in time to prevent their being fooled)
that it was not zeal for the welfare of
Chicago that brought Mr. Merrlam to
the fore as a candidate for Mayor. They
saw that it was not his purpose to give
better governmer.t to Chicago, but sim
ply to promote his own personal enns.
I. H. AM03.
The Leaser Evil.
London Chronicle.
Oresham College in 1719 was the scene
of a famous serio-comic duel between
two celebrated doctors. Doctor Mead and
Doctor Woodward, both of whom were
lectures at the college. While walking
down Blshopsgate street one morning
they quarreled over some medical ques
tion and adjourned to the square of the
college to fight it out with swords.
Woodward fell, wounded In several
places, whereupon Mead magnanimously
said. "Take thy life," "Anything but
your physic," hissed back the chagrined
Woodward ere he swooned away.
Timely Tales of the Day
D. O. Lively relates a prizewlnning
fish story on George Kane, who spent
one day this week In Inducing the
mountain trout to go Into his wicker
basket- 5
It seems Kefne Wae fishing on Dun
can Creek, near Butler, and the day
was hot. The sun was shining brightly
and, as he had not been out fishing this
year, his nosa became greatly sun
burned. At a o'clock, tired and thirsty,, he
lay down on his -stomach by the side
of a clear pool and drank copiously.
He had not been in that position long
when there was a flash, and he felt a
pull and twinge affecting his nose so
violently that he involuntarily threw
his head back. Picture his surprise
when he saw that his nose appeared to
be nearly a foot long.
A trout, eeeing . Kane's sunburned
nose in the water, perhaps thinking it
a scarlet ibis, the most brilliant of
red trout flies, made a successful dive
for it. Before the fish could loosen his
hold he had been thrown on the bank.
The trout, which measured 11 Inches,
was placed In Mr. Kane's basket, v and
Mr. Kane's nose, which wae mighty
tender for several days, is now healing
nicely.'
Mr. Kane has now bought a drinking
cup.
Park Superintendent Mische Is a firm
believer in fresh air, as he spends much
of his time out of doors, directing the
work in Portland's various beauty spots,
but on a recent day when on an auto
mobile trip of Inspection with Mayor
Simon and City Engineer Morris, he bad
to elucidate somewhat on his theory.
Superintendent Mische carried his over
coat, but, while the air was chill and
was made more so by the pace set by the
Mayor's chauffeur, did not wear it.
"I suppose," said Mayor Simon, "you
carry your overcoat along with you
when going out of your off ioe, to make
certain it Is not, stolen while you're
absent."
Mr. Mische then hastened to explain
that he likes the gentle zephyrs that
blow in and around Portland at this sea
son of the year, and eaid that he scarce
ly ever wears an overcoat; in fact, he
said, he could hardly see the necessity of
wearing one at all in Oregon.
Portland has two J. G. Kellers and
they have been causing each other more
trouble than a case of grip. One of them
Is a traveling salesman for a large
whosesale house and the other is In the
harness and saddlery business. They
have been getting each other's letters
and telegrams and have been put to end
less confusion over mix-ops in telephone
calls. On top of all this they have been
keeping accounts at the same bank and
one month one would get the wrong
pass-book written up and would kick if
the balance didn't correspond with the
amount in his check-book.
This sort of thing had been going on
for some time and what with getting each
other's bills and things like that, the
two thought it was time to get together
and change their names or work out
Ihelr salvation in some effective way to
end their aifficultles.
They met and discussed their varied
experiences but could not at first agree
as to the best way to enable the public
and their customers to tell them apart.
Finally it was decided that they would
flip coins to see who should part his
name' in the middle and who should use
his first given name in full and his mid
dle Initial.
The coin was tossed and It fell to the
lot of the traveling man to "part his
name." 60 hereafter he will be known
as J. George Keller and wm use tnar.
signature on all papers, while the other
Mr. Keller will adhere strictly to the
following cognomen "James G. Keller."
Little "Peggy" Levinson, whose fath
er "Joe" Levinson recently went to
California and bought an Interest in a
Fresno newspaper, was very much
Impressed by the hurry and hustle and
confusion about moving. There was
an almost constant stream of callers
at home for a few days prior to the
departure of the Levlnsons. She heard
all sorts of talk about "Daddy" leaving
the newspaper field here and going to
California. When one of the friends of
the family dropped in one afternoon she
greeted "Peggy" with tne remara:
"So your papa Is going away from
Portland?"
"Oh, yes," replied 'Peggy.' he has
sold The Oregonian and has bought
California."
Half a Century Ago
From The Oregonian, April 8, 1S61.
The pile-driving which is still kept up
in front of the What Cheer house gives
a lively appearance to the upper part of
the levee. From present appearances,
the commercial facilities of that part of
town will be all that could be desired in
a short time to come.
The Tuba River rose to such a height
on the 2Sth of March as to overflow tlie
bottom lands below Marysville, carry
ing off houses, cattle, and It is believed,
human beings, In the current. At Park's
Bar, in the mining region, the suspen
sion bridge was carried away, and the
toll-keeper was killed. It Is the most
disastrous flood experienced for many
a year.
The Philadelphia Enquirer says the
mileage of the messenger to carry to
Washington the Oregon electoral vote
wae $1S.U00. Not so. a
The Southern Congress has adopted
a permanent constitution presidential
term six years, cabinet officers eligible
to ae-ata in Congress.
Captain Vaughn, of the British ship
Kalos lying at Savannah, has been
tarred and feathered by the Rattlesnake
Club of that city, his offense being the
asking of a colored stevedore to dine
with him. The British Consul at Savan
nah has offered $1000 for evidence to con
vict the parties guilty of the outrage,
and the affair will be presented to the
general government at Washington.
Official Council Reports Desired. '
PORTLAND, April 7. (To the Ed
itor). As there seems to be more or
less suspicion cast upon our public of
ficials, whether they deserve it or not,
and as a means to an end, viz., to bring
about a feeling of mutual honor and
trust between the public and the pub
lic official and thereby raise our offi
cials above all suspicion, I would sug
gest that the city secure from one of
the dally papers (by bids submitted)
one or two columns .weekly to be paid
for out of the city treasury and used
exclusively for city matters: that the
day following each session of the City
Council and the Executive Board, there
be printed therein verbatim everything
that transpired from the moment of
calling said meeting to order until Its
adjournment.
Also that each month there be a
statement from the City Treasurer of
the receipts and expenditures for the
month.
This will be taking the people into
the confidence of the officials and the
officials into the confidence of the peo
ple and Is sure to be a step towards
a better city government.
H. 8. ADAMS.
The Acid Test Is Applied.
Chicago News.
"Are you sure the man is insane?"
asked the lawyer.
"Yes," replied the noted expert. "I
placed him 'n a 30-story office building
and noted that he used the stairs for
going up and the elevator for coming
down."
Advertising Talks
By William C. Freeman.
Foreword.
I will not say anything about myself
except that in January. 1309, I asked
the owner of the New York Evening
Mail to let me print in his newspaper a
daily advertising talk. He consented.
Today, April 8, completes No. 702 of
the series.
Commencing next Monday the same
story that appears in the Evening Mail
on that date and daily thereafter will
appear In this and other newspapers.
The newsDaDers that think the stories
will be helpful In rafxins: the standard
of advertising are themselves doing all
they can to promote business integrity.
I would not write advertising- stories
for newsoapers that do not stand for
Inlesrlty In advertising.
In a humble wav I try to tell of the
great value of advertising when It Is
honest and sincere.
I try to Doint to a lesson that may
be learned from the experience of some
firm or individual that has won suc
cess in the right way.
All people are Interested In advertis
ing because It Is a great part of the
daily news and supplies human needs.
Since It Is news It must be accurate.
I wish I could write better than I
do, but I write as I feel, and that seems
to be all that Is required, because the
stories are read by thousands daily.
Over twenty-two thousand personal
letters have come to me encouraging
me to go ahead In my preachments
about honest advertl.ilns and lionent
business methods.
I hope, reader, that you will like the
stories.
This newspaper, since it is willing re
print them. Joins with other good news
papers to do teamwork for the good of
the business community and for pro
moting faith in good advertisings
This newspaper wants its readers 'to
get a square deal from all of Its adver
tisers. In co-operation with other news
papers throughout the country this
newspaper will do all In Its power to
aid in carrying out the principles that
the advertising talks stand for.
Collectively these newspapers will be
a great force in killing off every ad
vertising fakir in the country.
Where Ivlns Belonged.
Philadelphia Times.
Mahlon Ivlns. Jr., of Merchantvllle,
has a reputation as an actor and takes
part in nearly all of the local shows.
In the last show that was given
"Shorty" had one of the leading parts.
After the show, while he was taking
off his makeup, an elderly man made
his appearance In the doorway.
"Are you Mr. Ivlns?" the old man In
quired. "Yes," replied "Shorty," as he mo
tioned him to be seated.
"Well, the old man continued, "I Just
want to tell you something. I've been
watching your acting tonight. You
should not be playing in this town; you
should be with Mansfield, Booth, or
Irving, or Joe Jefferson."
W - w - why," "Shorty" said, "those
actors are dead."
"I know it," said the old man. as he
turned on his heel and left.
A Picture of John Brown Sold.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Thomas Hovendn's famous painting.
!The Last Moments of John Brown,"
was sold for J355 at the first day of the
sale of the collection of foreign and
American paintings from the estates of
Henry C. Statzell, L. C. Davis and Ward
E. Barnes at the Philadelphia Art Gal
leries. Some Really
Good Features
Will Appear in
Tomorrow's
OREGONIAN
In fiction features the magazine
section will be particularly strong
and attractive. Tour complete
short stories are provided, one of
them being an unusual adventure
tale of Latin America, by the
well-known writer. Sewell Ford.
His story, "A Model Revolu
tion," is told in loss than four
columns; you will wish there were
more of it.
E. Phillips Oppenhcim presents
another of his stirring Peter Ruff
stories. Then there is a humor
ous yam by a Portland writer,
May Kelly, being the first of a
series dealing with the experi
ences of newly-weds.
A family story with a touch of
pathos and romance, dealing with
Oregon emigration, is included in
the fiction offering.
There is an unusually long list
of special articles, and you are
certain to find something that
especially interests you.
Nearly a quarter of a million
Americans are planning to go to
Europe for a trip this Summer.
Are you one of the army ? Eu
rope, likewise, is preparing for
the annual shearing of the golden
fleece. There is an excellent arti
cle on this topic, fully illustrated
with new photographs.
Ten Artists set out some years
ago to found a distinct American
school of art. How well they
have succeeded is set out in a
half-page article.
If yoa are going fishing, you
will get some information about
some of the near-by trout streams
from an illustrated page article
on Trout Streams Near Portland.
There is an absorbing half page
on American Medal of Honor
men. Then Cap Anson relates
some baseball history, the chin
and dashing Widow Wise has a
new matrimonial escape, Sambo
nearly catches the wild man of
Borneo, and Mr. Twee Deedle
lands the tots in a creek. Two
full pages for the children and a
page of fashion and household
hints are included.
Added to this is the news of the
world up to the minute.