TJIE 3IORXIXG OKEGOXIAX. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1910.
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1st.
arn.1T TH sJCXATORS IU NOT DO.
Lst us determine the exact meas
ure of responsibility of the Oregon
Senators for their astounding failure
to crnifst In any war at any tim
a-atnat th repeal of section 9
to reclamation act. Le-t us also
what was d-ne by tho Oregon Repre
sentatives, who were, however. In no
position, through the rigorous "ra
tlon of the then Irresistible House
machine, to mka effective objection
to any plan or policy one determined
on br tho Administration or the
Speaker and his advbwrs.
There was a proposal for the ap
propriation of 30.tt0.00 to finish
unfinished reclamation projects. The
Fpeajter objected vehemently and
publicly. Finally ho yielded and
greed to $20,000,000, but on the ipc
clrto condition that section 9 of the
ortrlnal act by which each state was
guaranteed tho expenditure within Its
borders for reclamation of at leas
fifty-one per cent of the moneys
derived from the sale of Its pub'
lie lands) should be repealed. In
the House ways and means commit
tee. Ellis of Oregon opposed the re
peal of section . He failed. Th
record does not show that H.vwloy
figured In tho transaction. It was In
the last days of the session, and, as
the House does business, effective ob
jection from the floor was out of the
question.
But la the Senate the 1:0.000. 000
measure went through without the
tlia-htest criticism, suggestion, com
ment, objection or opposition from
any source. Tet here was the place
where, under the rules and procedure
of the Senate, a single Senator could
have defeated the whole business;
that is to say. any one Senator of the
riicht quality of determination, activ
ity, attentlveness. Industry and under
standing could have demanded proper
consideration for his state; and he
would have rut It. Oregon has no
uch Senator. Therefore, for lack of
a potent voice in the S-nate. Oregon
loses outright many millions of dol
lars, deliberately and purposely taken
from her by the vigilant. Ingenious
and resolute efforts of Senators like
Borah and Tarter, who know what
to do for their states, and do it.
It Is trifling and pitiful to evade or
dodge or deny accountability In this
era re matter, and to excuse so costly &
breach of attention and devotion to
the state's welfare by whining about
the duty of the Representatives to
stop In the House so great an outrage
on the people of Oregon. Let Ella
and Ham ley make what explanations
they can. It Is clear enough that they
were) -on the Job" and at least tried to
do something. It ts still more clear
that Bourne and Chamberlain did
nothing and attempted to do nothing.
and were Inexcusably unaware of the
very existence of the section re
peal clause. Where were they while
measure of such vast consequence
to Oregon was under consideration?
What possible apology can be offered
for failure or neglect to examine
measure directly involving the great
subject of Irrigation and reclamation?
Where to there record of a word said
anywhere In committee. In the Sen
ate, before the departments, at the
Whit House by either of our Ore
gon Senators, who have a right to
demand, to be heard at ail these
place? Not a syllable, not s sen
tence, not a step taken In time to do
anything for Oregon. The cost to
Oregon In actual money Is vast as a
result of the Impotence, or indolence.
or Intellectual Indigene of our Sen
ators: the cost In humiliation, disgust
and realisation of th state's folly In
sending such Senators to Washington
tinder the Oregon plan, or any plan. Is
Incalculable.
taju rr that xta a.tTtsin..
Wheoerrer tariff "protection" is In
ore straltst a new scheme Is contrived
to "tine up" the) people for It again.
Just now the) scheme Is that of a larl.t
commission, to fix thtnits up. so that
dlsraUsrted group shall get their
"share." A little while ago It was
tarlS revision by Congress. Before
that It was "high wages" and "full
dinner pall." "keclproclty" was used
to hold down discontent until the Bar
Bum of It wore off. Early In the game
the magic wonls were "protection of
Infant Industries."
Each and all these methods of whip
ping the devil round the stump have
their little day and give place to the
next. None of them ever has been
able to make tariff bounty fo all the
avav round. No arrangement ever hns
been contrived by human Ingenuity
that succeeds in making free- nr.d
equal" r'-J'ts t ail hands at nobody's
expense. If tariff were like Aladdin's
magic lamp, or th gold-laying hen of
the ogre, whom Jack of the Bean Stalk
slew, or the magic pure that n.-ver
was empty, then everybody would get
something out of tariff and would be
satisfied. But the public rinds Itself
encountering a hard reality, instead of
a fable.
About eighteen months ag. th
President named a commission t. ex
amine schedule and make recommen
dations, "based on difference of cost
of production at home and abroad."
The commission refuses et to report,
and demands it ore time. Now another
commission Is to be appointed.
All this is vanity and vexation of
spirit. During the twenty and thirty
years that many of us have observed
the workings of "protection" one plan
and then another has failed to make it
fit the people.
Tariff protection Is a dream that
never comes true, or a mirose that
never appease the thirst In the desert
Our politicians each and all act as li
they have a special revelation. Tet
th new breed of Ihcra fares no better.
after .holding office and gathering
emoluments, than the old.
Expense of government must be
paid. Revenue have to be collected
from the people. The revenues should
be collected from as wide and equal
apportionment as possible. Tariff is
properly a method of apportioning
taxes for support of governmen
Imposed on articles of general con
sumption and on luxuries of the rich.
tariff will collect from all the people
In the measure of their consumptl-
and of their wealth. That mean
tariff for revenue. Instead of for pro
tection. It means that monopolle
and trusts will have to meet the com
petition of the world's markets In sell
Ing good to the American people.
means that the extra price, now col
lected by the monopoly, ostensibly for
wage for the American worker, bu
pocketed by the monopoly, will be re
tained by the American worker when
he buys goods. Also It means that
"cost at home and abroad" will need
no olilce-holdlng commission.
Tariff is all the more complicated
because these several schemes to allay
ii-M.ontcnt make It so.
tiik rKon-ra vvii-f.
Mr. Bryan responds to the New
York World's suggestion that James
E. Jl.irtliie does not "measure up to
the requirements" of a Senator from
New Jersey by Inquiring If Mr. Mar
line did not receive 4. 000 out of
TO.000 Democratic votes and there
fore "In the opinion of the people does
Mr. Martins not measuro up to re
quirements"?
But how- many times must the peo
ple determine that a candidate does
or does not "measure up to require
ments"? If their Judgment Is infal
lible, as Mr. Bryan appears to say
what right has a candidate or anyone
to question their opinion or appeal
from their decision? Or must the
people say three times what aud
whom they want or don t want beior
their determination shall be regarded
a final or conclusive? Or must they
decide as Mr. Bryan thinks they
should decide before It shall be ad
mitted nil around that they are right?
Then of course It will take Mr. Bryun
nd the people to make a majority,
But It is a sad thing to find Mr.
Ilnu alwavs on one side and the
peotale on the other. Can It be that
the people are always wrong? If they
ro always wrong, what becomes of
Mr. Bryan's opinion, that In the now
famous New Jersey case they are in
fallibly right? Yet how can Uiey pos
sibly be right, la Mr. Bryan's opinion
when they have never been known to
vote for Mr. Bryan, thus deciding that
Urvan is always wrong? And if he
Is always wrong, he must be wrong
when he says the people are rjght.
ANTIC,! ATK.I METIIOIMi.
The annual taxpayers' school meet
ing for a city like Portland is a farce,
or worse, and may be made the In
strument of great mischief. It Is not
a taxpayers' meeting; it Is an ascm
bly of groups, cliques and factions,
representing one Interest or scheme
nd another, and bent upon cither
promoting or defeating it at all haz
ards. The results are neither satis
factory nor conclusive: the means
neither Intelligent nor fair.
The Civic Union, which has much
fault to find with school methods, and
disclaims any purpose to attack or
criticise unduly members of the Board
of Education, had a set of resolutions
for the school meeting. They re
ceived scant consideration, yet some
of ehem indeed most of them de
served attention arid support.
The proposal to separate the city
from the county schools ought to have
been adopted. But twelve I too many
for a board of education, and one
year terms are top short. Other sug
gestions as to school buildings and
purchase of supplies are sound.
The recommendation that the grand
tnrr should expert th accounts
of the School Board. Is offensive and
on necessary. Why the grand Jury?
Why the School Board and not
other public officers? let there
should undoubtedly be expert andlt
of the books and accounts under
competent authority.
A rR:.M ltfcv virrw or THK llOllBLf
tiklKT.
The much-discussed and generally
criticised "hobbie skirt" has found an
advocate In Rev. Herbert 8. Johnson,
of Boston. Mr. Johnson is an Oregon
man. a Baptist preacher, son of I'ro
fessor J. W. Johnson, the first presi
dent of the University of Oregon, and
took his first degree from that Instl-
u'.lon. His Idiosyncrasies, whatever
hey are. may be said to be due to his
('iuirrn environment. Hence wni-n
he assert that the hotle- skirt Is one
of the fashions of women that Indi-
ate balance and normality of mind:
that women addicted to this form of
attire, as well as tho who adopt the
peach-basket hat. hlgh-heelert shoes
and the many other startling acces
sories of fashion are tho kind whe
make the best wives, we Indulgently
et It down to environment and dis
miss the subject.
When, however, he asserts that we
have today no more conclusive key
o a woman's mental and moral de
velopment than the clothe she
wears, we stand aghast. In the pres-
nce of the peach-basket or steeple
hats, corsets that reacn tne Knees.
skirts two yards wide and narrow
ho.- with heels three Inches high.
If this 1 Indeed the measure or th
mental and moral development ' of
women, then truly me measure oi
he women of- today is not equal to
hat of our well-remembered early
ears.
We are. however, all things ronsid-
red. disposed to set this estimate
own as that of a popular preacher.
whose church membership la corn-
osed chiefly of women of fashion
women w nose means ene uic mem ui
nlv to dress in the extreme of style
but who have enough besides to make
fat the church contribution box.
M-VKIOls TAINTING.
Even if there are "J0.00P spurious
orots" In this country, us Mr. Henry J
W. Bike, the picture dealer, asserts.
e need not dissolve In tears over it.
A spurious- picture w hich Is so well
one that It cannot be told from the
rtKinal must have some merit.
It is said by connoisseurs that a
great many of tne -oict masters
hich are brought across tne water
re nothing nut imitations crairny
fixed up to deceive American million
aires. But as a matter or I act. our
millionaires rarely purchase pictures
pon their own judgment. They
usually- employ competent agents to
make their selections, and if the Imi
tation are so near the originals as
to deceive trained students of art, they
are certainly worth having. The dif
ference between a genuine Titian and
one so much like the genuine that
nobody can distinguish it cannot be
very marked. y For all practicable
purposes one of the two pictures is
a good as the other.
No doubt many of the originals In
the European galleries are nothing
but imitations. In some cases Imita
tions have been substituted on the
gallery walls and the genuine paint
ings shipped to the United States.
Very likely dozens of curators of gal
leries In Germany and Italy who are
smugly smtllng at our susceptibility
to humbuggery are themselves pro-
tex-ting fraudulent old masters with
the greatest solicitude while the stolen
originals hang on th walls of some
American millionaire. At best tne
word "original" applied to a picture
more than 200 or 300 years old does
not mean a great deal in lomo cases.
Many of the most famous ones have
been mutilated, scraped, varnished
and restored until It requires a strong
Imagination to see anything of Leon
ardo or Peruglnq In them.
Moreover, as a moral principle. It
might be laid down, perhaps, that any
millionaire who busies himself buying
old masters In Europe deserves to be
swindled. What good does he hope
to do by encouraging the dead art of
the sixteenth century? Why does he
not encourage tho living art of his
own generation? Raphael gets no
benefit from It. even If his paintings
bring a million dollars apiece, hut
there are plenty of starving artists in
New York who would be glud of a
hundred.
I..IXD MONOrOiT AND FROIIW,
Big private pronis in successive
sales of a Morrison-street lot stir up
anew the envies of slngle-taxers and
socialists. These reformers- would
abolish rrivate property in land; slngle-taxers
would make the Govern
ment seize all land: socialists would
ake It seize not only land, but also
everything else out of which pnvat
ownership makes profit.
But while some owners make money-
out of land values and a few "realize"
heavily, the great majority of land
holders find that land coxts them
heavily in labor. Improvements and
Interest. Taxes paid year after year
amount to large sums; In the country,
trees and stumps have to be cleared
off. lands drained and fertilized, fences
kept up: In the city, pavements, side
walks and sewers have to be paid for.
Most landowners find that they have
paid out In .ime, effort and varous
charges all that their land is wcrth.
None of this is taken into account,
however, by our theoretical and pa
triotic slngle-taxers and socialists.
Substantial citizens of every civil
ized community believe that they are
entitled to -own pieces of land and to
make money out of them if they can.
The Indians of this country never
owned lots in Irvlngton or on Portland
Heights, but who wishes to bo an In
dian? Civilization Is not possible
without private ownership or iana.
never was.
Exceptionally large profits In land
monopoly" afford no valid argument
for abolition of private land owner
ship. All land ownership must stana
on the same basis, values are con
tinually shifting up and down. No
one or several classes of private land
can bo confiscated and leave others
secure.
These big profits will become less
frequent after this' new country shall
have settled down to conditions of
older societies.
We shall expect slngle-taxers and
socialists to declare thut the -several
accrued profits on the Morrison-street
lot should belong properly to tne puD-
llc. Instead of to the successive own-
... . it .a..
ers. But none or inem win ver mm
the decrement, or diminished value, of
lots In less-favored localities should
be made good to the private owners
by the public.
Moreover, the thousnnas oi ioi
owners throughout Portland who are
carrying heavy burdens of taxes, im
provements and interest and hoping'
that the "unearned increment" will
null them out" will have something
to say about abolition of private land
monopoly.
IKKL TKVIR tlNIICATKI.
The trade-stifling, trust-protecting
tollcy of a protective tariff has re
ceived another unmlstaKuDie exposure
In the annual report of the Bureau or
Insular Affairs on Philippine trade
for the first fiscal year under a free
trade administration.
This reoort shows that during tne
nast fi.oul year there was an Increase
of more than !. 000.000 In the ship
ments from tho United htates to tne
slands. while the exports from the
Island to the United Stntes showed a
gain of IS. 500.000. A explained in
he report, some of thin enormous gain
is due to the holding back of orders
or shipment during the closing
months under the tnriff regime, but
he greater part of the gain is due to
he wise provision of the Government
In removing the tariff obstruction and
making business possible.
That the highly-protected ana in
some cases stale-bounty-fed sugar ln-
ustrv was not entirely ruined by the
dmlaslon of the Philippine sugar is
uite apparent from the ruling quota
tions in this country tor ine past jrar.
It is also noticeable In the report mat.
Instead of shipping up near the limit
which was Bllowod them under the
free trade regulations, the Filipinos
hipped less than one-tnira ine
mount which they wouiu nme oeeu
lowed to enter free or duty.
The tobacco trust also seems to
i i i... i.
ave escapca serious .
orklngs of this new order of things.
for onlv one-half the amount admis
sible free of duty was shipped to the
nited States.
That this remarkable gain in busi
ness was directly traceable to the free
trade policy is further shown by the
ffures for other countries, mr ime
he United States gained more than
4.000. 000- in the value or tne exports
hlnoed to the islands, tne gain oi an
other countries for the same period
as but $3,000,000. In exports irom
he islands, the total gain or all other
countries was less- than $400,000. w hile
the value of those shipped to ' the
nited States Increased more man
8.500. 000.
Examination of the details of tne
report shows a mutual advantage ror
erican and unpinos in mis im-
Droved trade policy, for they doubled.
trebled and quadrupled their orders
for a number of manufactured arti
cles purchased from thi country . i ne
report. In brief, shows that the Fili
pinos, like other people, are willing to.
bu.-dness with those wno gie inem
opportunity.' By throwing, dowr
the tariff bars, we have widened the
market for their products, and with
the increased purchasing power thus
created for them, they have recipro
cated by shifting their orders from
other countries to the United States.
With the completion of the Panama
Canal there will be a material reduc
tion In freight rates between the At
lantic seaboard and our Far Eastern
dependencies, and this trill further
increase the business, most of which
now passes through the Sues Cajial.
The first year under free trade with
the Philippines has showed that our
success on industrial lines has been
much greater than that which has
I followed our political policies in the
Far East.
- - '-
There Is a ring of genuineness to the
j proposed rowing and swimming con-
tests on New Year's day for crews of
deeo-water ships now in port. Here
are oarsmanship and aquatic prowess
that mean something, and in a harbor,
too, where rough water is not known.
Portland -harbor is one of the few In
northern waters where such contests
can be held on New Year's with com
fort to participants or spectators, and
not only are conditions right, but here
are always the right class of men to
make such a meet a success. On
shipboard are youths who have taken
up the profession In all seriousness
strong-hearted fellows who take pride'
In the manhood of the nations they
represent. An annual event of this
character Is a tit amusement for the
shipping interests to provide for such
visitors at a time when the holiday
spirit makes the whole world kin.
Germany's $300,000,000 navy has
an opportunity at last to earn some
thing on the investment, and a num-l-er
of warships have been hurried to
the Caroline Islands to engage in
avenging the mass-acre of four Euro
peans and five friendly natives. Q?t
many has never realized much orrlhe
Carolines since they were purchased
from Spain about a dozen years ago,
but the possessions will now demon
strate their indirect value by offering
Germany some excuse for tho posses
sion of a navy. For all that, the
quelling of a riot among a handful of
savages on a' tropical isle with the
German navy Is something like hunt
ing mosquitoes with an elephant gun.
The worst feature of the trouble for
Germany Is that the Caroline Island
era have no new territory to offer as
a balm 'for the Indignity they have
Inflicted.
Mr. Teal. Mr. Devers and Mr. Wit
tenberg are naturally much incensed
at the close-inspection methods of
that taxpayers' meeting. There were
only 200 or 300 there, and the three
didn't run It. It was a sad mistake
not to confine their activities, as here
tofore, to the Taxpayers' League,
where no designing schemers can run
In schoolteachers or anybody else not
belonging to the Teal elect.
Naturally It was a man who wrote
his name J. Templeton Coolldge that
refused to have a portrait of Julia
Ward Howe in Faneuil Hall. This re
calls a remark by the late Colonel J.
W. Nesmlth. who said: "I never knew
but one man who parted his nama in
the middle that ever amounted to
anything. And that man was old E
Plurlbus . Unum."
What has become of the "model
license law" which was to work such
a salutary transformation in the sa
loons? Has it been laid away until
the next prohibition fight comes on?
Perhaps It may be less useful next
time. "If white man fools Indian
once it Is white man's faultj If he
fools him again it is Indian's fault."
The Clark County, Washington,
man who decked a Christmas tree for
the birds of his vicinity Is a man after
the heart of good old John Bur
roughs. The decorations of the tree
a sturdy young Douglas fir were of
apples and popcorn, and the birds
needed no invitation to come to the
feast.
The "theater ticket trust" could be
broken up easily enough. Let those
who are asked to ray two prices for
seats refuse and stay at home. Prob
ably one lesson would be sufficient.
The next time a celebrity appeared
the "trust" would not have money
enough to gobble the tickets.
Mr. Bryan will not appear at or
send a letter to that Baltimore peace
conference, because he does not want
to "sound a discordant note." But
the noise of steady hammering will
continue to bo heard at Lincoln. ,
If the teachers are not taxpayers
thev could not have "packed the
meeting" Wednesday night. If they
are taxpayers they had a right to
pack it. That Is, they had a right t
be there and vote.
In providing a large sum for promo
tion work during 1911, the Eugene
Commercial Club voices approval of
Manager Freeman as a qualified suc
cessor to John Hartog, who pinned the
city to the map. .
There never wsa a school meeting
that pleased everybody. That Is the
distinctive American affair in which
neighbors can wrangle with no bad
results. Yet Portland is no longer a
village.
Let decent people stay away from
the revelries of the grills tomorrow
night and avoid being shocked. The
fewer the spectators the less spectacu
lar effort at horror.
A bold prophet is the headline edi
tor who wrote "Nat Goodwin's Trou
bles Are Over." This is only his
fourth divorce.
Through courtesy of the local trol
ley people. New Year's eve roister
ers can prolong the ."agony
hours. a few
Near the top of -New Year's resola
tions put this: Never vote on initia
tive measures until you understand
them.
Milch of the increase In the per cap
ita cost of education can be charged
up to frills and trimmings.
To make your Iron safe really safe,
in Portland, employ a watchman to
stand by it all night.
Mr. Caraearlea Advantage.
Washington Star.
Mr. Carnegie has an advantage over
Congress In being able to put across
any kind of big appropriation without
an argument.
KRAXCB WILL. SET CLOCKS BACK.
Time Will Be Lost That Country Mar
Be On Time.
New York Times.
The clocks of France are to be set
back nine minute and, according to the
law of the land Just adopted, in the
future they are to count off the hours
and the days, second for second, with
the clocks marking Greenwicn" time in
Englaud. Paris lies to the east of the
meridian 9 minutes 20.9 seconds, and
she has always held independently to
her astronomical difference. By a law
passed in 1891 the time of Paris was
made the heure legale for all of France,
although the town of Brest, far to the
west, has a difference of 27 minutes.
New Yorkers intent upon foreign trans
actions, have always been quick to cal
culate the time of London, for the dif
ference is an even five hours. The
difference in the time at Paris is obvi
ously more difficult to remember and
to apply to the problenv of determin
ing the exact moment. Hereafter, when
It is noon in New York, one may know
that it is five In the evening in Lon
don and exactly that time 6y the clocks
of all France.
Nine minutes may seem a very small
matter, but the new law In France is
really an event of international impor
tance. It shows clearly that the bank
ers, merchants, travelers and Journal
ists of France are transacting o much
Important business with England that
they cannot afford to keep even this
slight hindrance between themselves.
It is a step toward the time when tliey
will see that they cannot afford to have
a wax between themselves. It is a
kind of bond of peace when no one in
London need stop and thoughtfully say:
"Let nie see. Just jrhat timers it now
in Fans 7"
WESTEH WOMAW EXTEBTAIMNQ
Her Culture Surprises the Gnest From
Philadelphia or Boston.
Collier's Weekly.
The resident of the Atlantic seaboard
who does his traveling eastward toward
Paris misses the opportunity of learning
that the Far Western woman Ureases
with as much taste and as winsomely as
women anywhere. Her talk Is enter
taining and witty. She has all the bet
ter ones of those qualities which nre
commonly Bpokcn of as breezy. She dis
cusses politics, a part of every 'Western
er's religion. She knows the vital
themes of the day and this without ap
parent neglect of children or family re
snonsibllltles. She has inherited the
spirit of her pioneer ancestors, a char
acter-building race that had the saving
grace of humor.
The cultus of. the average Western
home has not Infrequently surprised the
guest from Philadelphia or Boston not
In Denver. Portland or Los Angeles,
where one expects to find finish, but In
Cheyenne, Fargo and Helena. The cow
boy conquered the I.idian; the school
teacher has conquered the cowboy, and
he soon will have bowed hla way out
of the overworked pages of fiction. His
lariat is a skipping rope for children,
with a present more full of vitality and
a future more full of promise than that
of the average child in the more crowded
East.
Battleships and Banks.
VANCOUVER, Wash.. Dec 24. (To the
Editor) Will you please answer the
following questions in the columns of
The Oresonlon:
What is the average length of time
required to build one of our modern
battleships?
Did not Admiral Dewey attack the
Spanish fleet at Manila without orders
from our War Department?
Is the First National Bank of any
town any safer than 'any other National
with the same capital?
Is it not a fact that more National
banks fail, in proportion to their num
ber, than any other class of banks?
I ask these last two questions on
account of arguments In regard to the
failure of a bank here a few days ago.
IGNORANT.
The length of time under construc
tion has varied materially among bat
tleships. The Maine and Missouri, com
pleted in 1902 and 1903, were four and
five years, respectively, in building.
The much larger Delaware, completed
in 1909, was started In 1907.
Admiral Dewey sailed from Hong
kong for Manila under orders from
President McKinley to find the Spanish
fleet and destroy It.
The name "First National Bank" is
not in itself significant of strength.
It is a name and nothing more. 0
More state banks than National
banks, in proportion to their number,
fail In the United States. The reason
assigned is lax examination in num
erous states.
Mute Protest Aft-alnat "Sitters."
New York Tribune.
In the office of a New York lawyer
whosl clients are nearly all real estate
operators there are two features which
nearly every visitor notices at the first
call. They are a queer clock and an
uncomfortable chair. The figures on
the clock dial range from 1 to 24 In
stead of from 1 to 12, and the lawyer
allows no opportunity to escape to im
press upon his visitor that he knows
the hours as indicated by the odd time
piece. He has his lunch at "14 o'clock"
and leaves for his home on the "17:6
train." No matter how busy he is he
can always find time to enlarge on the
losriral system. The uncomiortame
chair Is the only one in his consultation-room
except the one he occupies
and Its condition is well known to the
lawyer, who says that Its presence in
his office is a "mute but forcible pro
test against 'Bitters.' " The profession
al brother who tells the story says:
Otherwise be ts perfectly sane.
Wlreleaa for Whole Itrltlah Empire.
Washington Cor. Brooklyn Eagle.
A nlan to connect all the British pos
sessions on which the sun never set by
a system of wireless telegraphy is now
being discussed. To accomplish this
wireless stations would have to be
erected at only 20 different places. This
would entail a cost or i.i.ouo.ouu ana it
would cost about $1,000,000 annually :n
addition to operate the system. Stations
ouid be required at -Montreal, liiace
Bav and Vancouver. Canada; Hong
kong, Singapore, Perth, Adelaide and
Sydney. Australia: Wellington, New
Zealand: Gibraltar. Malta. Alexandria.
Egvpt; Aden, Bombay, Colombo, aiom-
bassa. Durban, Cape Town. Bathurst,
Sierra Leone and St. Helena, Africa.
Irving Here In 1893.
PORTLAND, Dec 27. (To the Edi
tor) Kindly give me the following in
formation through the columns of The
Oregonlan:
In what year Old Henry Irving last
play here?
Please pronounce tne. ionowing: "Sjuo
Vadis." "Tolstoi.
SUBSLKlBJiK.
Henry Irvjng's last appearance in
Portland was September 18 and 19, 1893.
"Quo vadis may be pronounced
either with the long or broad sound
of "a." The former, is preferable.
'Tolstoi is pronounced in two syl
lables; the "o in "Tol" as in "odd,"
accent on the second syllable.
His Heirlooms.
Everybody's Magazine.
An heirloom," exclaimed the farm
er's wife to her 13-year-old boy, "Is
something that has been handed down
from father to son. and in some in
stances is greatly prized."
I'd prize these heirlooms 1 m wear
ing," remarked the youngster. ' a good
deal more if they wasn't so long In the
legs."
"PAYING TOO MUCH FOR WHISTLE"
Moro Cltlsen Finds Cause for Comment
In Reeent Election Expenses.
MORO, Or.. Dec. 27. (To the Edi
tor.) The late Benjamin Franklin re
lates that one Christmas, when he was
a small boy, his family filled his pock
et with small change and sent him out
to have a good time. As he loitered
along the docks he encountered a sai
lor with a wooden leg, who was play
ing beautifully on a whistle.
Young Benjamin was so charmed with
the music that he offered the ancient
mariner all the money he had for the
melodious instrument, and the deal was
consummated on the spot. When he
went home, blowing away on his whis
tle, the family gathered around him and
listened to a recital of his adventures.
His father remarked that the whistle
could be bought anywhere for a penny,
and they all laughed at him. and they
laughed so unanimously and persist
ently that he threw the measly thing
away.
In after life, whenever Benjamin saw
a people deliberately fastening a finan
cial milletone around their own necks
and preparing to jump overboard, he
remarked quietly to himself, "They are
paying too much, for their whistle.
Oldtimers may recall the Jovial Sam
May and the more reserved though no
less hilarious Grover-Chadwick-Tom
Cann resrlme that followed, and the
howl that went up when it was dis
covered that the school fund had been
sequestered and converted into cham
pagne, plug hats and bull pups, not to
mention a seat in the United States
Senate. And that was all very well
but all the money these captains of
industry absorbed in the 12 years of
their activities would not pay one-
half the additional expense of our last
election.
It may not be amiss to reflect, as we
are passing by, that there may be an
occasional unimaginative citizen who, de-
snlsin? practical Jokee, would rather
let the unlicensed highwayman rob
him of his coat than have-our U'Renlzed
Frankenstein strip him to his bare
skin. W. STANLEY
ALL MEDIUMS DECLARED FRAUDS,
Resident of The Dalles Willing to Back
Charge on Platform.
THE DALLES. Or.. Dec. 28. (To the
Editor.) Referring to The Oregonian's
editorial of December 23, in which you
ask what has become of the Greek's
soul while his brain and body remained
in a state of coma for 18 months,
would like to ask, What Is the soul and
what evidence have we to warrant the
popular belief in the existence of the
soul? I contend that if man has
soul, so has every other form of life
on this planet, as man in common with
all the lower animals comes into this
world and goes out In exactly the
same manner, and the only argument
that has ever been advanced against
the possession of souls by the lower
animals is the fact (?) that they do
not reason I How do we know they do
not? May it ' not be true that all ani
mals reason but on their own plane of
consciousness? I could quote dozens
of instances to prove that dogs, horses
and qther animals reason, but of course
their reasoning faculty is limited the
Same as man s. Can man comprehend
the being of God, time, space or in
finity? Where shall we look for proof
of the existence of the soul? Religion
does not offer such proof. Science
knows nothing about the soul, and
while many spiritualists claim they can
prove communication with it, the writ
er is one among hundreds of skeptics
who have spent thousands of dollars and
many years' time investigating the so-
called proofs of modern spiritualism
as to the existence of the soul or con
tinuity of life after death, but to no
good, purpose.
All mediums are frauds, and I can
prove it, and hereby challenge any one
professing to get messages from the
dead to meet me on tne puonc plat
form and I will guarantee to reproduce
all their so-called spirit manifestations
and prove to any unprejudiced audi
ence that they are all fakes and frauds.
Yours truly, R. D. WILSON.
How to Make Poatofflee Profitable.
PACIFIC GROVE, Cal.. Dec. 27. (To
the Editor.) "Ten times the usual
day's business; three times the daily
gross receipts." This is doubtless the
record of many postofflces other than
ours this Christmastide.
. And It was all so easily accomplished
at ours, with only two additional help
ers; one clerk In the orrice ana one
carrier and vehicle. The usual start
employed consists of the postmaster,
the assistant postmaster, three helpers
in the office and three carriers. Their
Joint pay, plus office rent, amounts to
$25 dally. The Increase In the statr
and expenses of a team raised the
dally expenditure $5.40, or say 20 per
cent. Of course the rent paid was the
same. There was ample oince accom
modation already and all needed facil
ities for the enlarged business. The
percentage of profit depends, of course,
on many things beyond the mere offi
cers' salaries, but It will not be hard
to realize that it was enormous. Re
ceipts rose from an average of $30
daily to $90 for two or three days, and
$75 daily for the whole Christmas
week, or 150 to 200 per cent. The pub
lic sent . parcels galore in spite of
ridiculously high domestic rates that
prevail.
What happens once a year, viz: the
full employment of postoffice em
ployes, would be continued the year
round were a parcels post at reason
able rates instituted. Any sane mer
chant knows that paying needlessly
heavy rents and full salaries to half-
employed clerks would spell "bank
ruptcy. Utilize the same premises
and the same clerks to their utmost
capacity and prosperity ' dawns and
waxes.
Conduct our postoffice on this latter
plan and the present deficit caa be con
verted into a profit such as accrues to
the German, British and other post
offices, whose annual gains foot up
millions and millions of dollars.
It is high time Congress gave urg
ency to this matter or an up-to-date
parcels post and put our country where
it belongs, ahead, or at least abreast,
of any country in the civilized world.
EDWARD BERWICK,
President Postal Progress League of'
California.
A Moose Hunter's Mistake.
Kennebec Journal.
A Hartland hunter starting out after
a deer one day recently put a blanket
on his horse before he put on the har
ness so that the animal would be
warm. Arriving at a likely place he
tied the horse beside a wood -road
and went into the woods. He had not
travelled far when he struck an old
road.
Following this for about a mile he
saw in the distance what he took to be
a moose standing In the road. Taking
careful aim he fired and was much
pleased to see the animal fall. He
rushed up and found he had killed his
own hprse. The walk home was a
long one.
Lone Drawn Out.
Chicago Tribune.
An English election can scarcely be
listed under the head of amusements,
but it takes high rank as & continu
ous performance
Danarers. '
Boston Transcript.
Were it not for deer hunting, joy
riding and the Fourth of July, this
would be a pretty safe country to
1 live in.
Life's Sunny Side
Alexander R. Smith, the secretary, of
the canal terminal commission, said the
other day to a New York friend:
"New York's foreign commerce has
increased in the past year over $200,
000,000. New York's success as a com
mercial center Is, in fact, phenomenal
as phenomenal as the success of John
Ballard's note:
"Ballard's brother, the Judge, was
once hearing a case where Lawyer
Lawless was notorious for his long
wlndedness. He would sometimes
speak for days and days. On this occa
sion he had been spouting forth ilia
argument for six hours and the end
was nowhere in sight, when Judge Bal
lard beckoned his brother John and
whispered:
" 'Can't you stop him. Jack?'
" 'I'll stop him In two minutes,' John
Ballard replied confidently.
"And he wrote and passed to Lawyer
Lawless the following note:
" 'My Dear Colonel As soon as you
finish your magnificent argument, I
would like you to join me at the Re
vere House In a bumper of rare old
Bourbon
"Lawyer Lawless, halting In the
midst of an impassioned period, put on
his glasses and read the note that had
been handed him. then he removed his
glasses again, and, taking up his hat
and bag, said:
" 'And now, may it please the court
and gentlemen of the jury, I leave the
case w-ith you.' " New York Press.
Dr. Herman C. H. Herold, president of
the Board of Health, has a young friend
who recently graduated a-s a physician.
One of the young doctor's first clients
was a fat girl.
Her fatness weighed upon her and
she wanted to get rid of some of it.
The young doctor drew up a careful
dietary; she was to eat dry toast, plain
boiled beef, etc., and to return In a
month to report reduction. At the end
of the month she could hardly get
through the doctor's doorway. He was
aghast.
"Did you eat what I told you?" he
asked..
"Religiously." Hi brow wrinkled it
self. Suddenly he had an inspiration
"Anything else?" he asked.
"Only my ordinary meals." "Newark
Star.
An amusing story was told by Lord
Alverstone, the Lord Chief Just'ce, at
the Northampton Polytechnic Institute,
ClerkenWell.
The other day, he said, he distributed
prizes at an Institution, and it was re
lated to him that one of the pupils met
a man whom he knew in a tramcar, or
somewhere of the kind. The man asked
the boy if he knew who was going to
give away the prizes. . The boy said he
did not, and asked who it was, and
the man replied, "Why, the man who
hung Crippen." London Dally News.
-
A recently married . young woman
went into a bank in Mount Vernon and,
walking up to the window of the re
ceiving teller said: "I would like to
deposit a check from my husband." The
clerk examined it and answered, "You
must indorse it," and when the young
woman still looked puzzled, he ex
plained, "You must sign your name to
it, o that your husband will know we
have paid the money to you."
The depositor walked over to a side
table and returned triumphantly with
the check a few minutes later.
The clerk looked at the indorsement.
It was, "Your loving wife, Ethel."
New York Telegraph.
This story is being told by the Wash
ington newspapers as Victor Murdock's
fivst experience with the Capital's
hotels. 11
When Murdock arrived in Washing
ton, a new Congressman, he went to
one of the most exclusive hotels in the
city and took an elaborate suite of
rooms. So gorgeous were his surrouna
lngs that when Ms. Murdock appeared
on the scene she asked him what the
charges were.
"Oh, I don't know," replied Murdock,
unconcernedly, "I guess they are all
right."
"At any rate," suggested Mrs. Mur
dock, "you had better go down and ask
the clerk."
Murdock went, but returned in a very
few minutes, rushed Into the room like
a cyclone, and began to throw things
Into the trunk.
'What's the matter? asked Mrs.
Afurdock.
But bv that time Vic was busy at
the telephone and clamoring for a bag
gage man to appear instantly.
Tve figured it out, ne snouien, ex
citedly, a he slammed up the. receiver
nd dashed back to wont pacaing up
their belongings. "It Is costing us $2.18
every minute we stay here. And we're
iroing to move in one miiuite." Kansas
City Journal.
Paradise In Pennsylvania.
Philadelphia Record.
v. first tifn In mnnv vears n.
hoB Vif-c-n HlKcontinued in Craw
ford County for want of a sufficient
number of cases to make it worth while
paying jurors.
Know When You're Well Off.
Baltimore Sun.
whoi'a tho us for von to kick merely
because you have a little furnace raking
to do? Th-re s a woman in xowa mahee
er husband sleep in the cow Btable.
FEATURES IN THE
SUNDAY
OREGON1AN
WHEN FIRST MASS WAS
SAID IN VANCOUVER
Here was the cradle of the Cath
olic Church in the Pacific North
west ; the first cathedral, first con
vent school, first hospital.
NEW YEAR'S IN THE
ANNALS OF THE WORLD
Important events that befell in
the initial hours of various twelve
months. PROMOTING HAPPINESS
THEIR VOCATION
Prominent men and women whose
sole profession is loving their
neighbors better than themselves.
THE NEW YEAR
IN LIGHTER VEIN
Hashimuro Togo tells what will
probably happen in 1911, and Irv
ing Cobb reviews the old year.
0. HENRY'S STORY,
"ROUGE ET NOIR"
A little romance of the banana
trade.
ORDER EARLY FROM YOUR,
NEWSDEALER