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TTTE MORXIXG OREGOXIAX. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 1910.
12
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rOBTUD. TnrKSOAY. OV. I.
THB IUXT101 IN ORBOON.
Tho defeat of Mr. Bowtrma for
Co vara or la a men Incident la the
confused end uncertain condition of
political affairs in Oregon, and in the
Nation. At base It is an expression
;af the spirit of discontent and dissat
isfaction that has everywhere seized
the Republican party, divided It into
warring factions, achieved Its demoral
ization, and wrought for It general
disaster. Democratic Governors have
tern chosen to succeed Republican
: tiovarnors In New York. Connecticut.
w Jersey. Massachusetts, Wyoming
: and possibly In Iowa and Idaho. A
Democrat has also been re-elected
Governor In Ohio. Republican ma
jorities were easily reduced in Penn
sylvania. Kansas. Minnesota and every
other Northern State where there was
aa election for Governor except Cali
fornia. Congress Is Democratic for
the first time In fourteen years, Re
publican Senators are to be turned out
in New York. Indiana. Ohio, West
Virginia and In several other states.
The. cyclone has swept the country.
The tail thereof has hit Oregon.
Yet. of course. Oregon has gtn
nominally Republican by a large vote
except for Governor. It has re-elected
two Republican Congressmen. The
state government will continue to be
Republican except as to Governor.
Tho great bogus campaign of "non
partisanship" for the election of two
Democratic Judges has failed and Re
publican candidates have been elect
ed. The Legislature will be Republi
can. County officers are Republican.
But the most conspicuous candidate
of the Republican party, who was
the sole target of attack by the allied
Chamberlain and Bourne forces, has
succumbed. The result will be hailed
undoubtedly In many places as a Demo
cratic triumph. Doubtless a largo
number of citizens who voted for Mr.
West will deny that they are Demo
crats, or that they desired or intended
to contribute to tho growing prestige
and widespread successes of that
party. But that is the result that has
been brought about. The men who
voted for West will get nothing from
it. The Bourne and Chamberlain
partnership will. The Oregonian ut
ters these, words without bitterness
and without reproach. It states the
obvious situation.
Many explanations of particular
reasons for the result In Oregon will
be offered. We shall hear a lot about
the assembly, the "interests." the
-machine." prohibition, the normal
schools and so on. Yet these
ara only the avenues through
which many so-called Republicans
gave expression to their purpose to
defeat tho Republican candidate. One
excuse or reason was as good as an
other. The party everywhere had
been In power too long. It was time
for a change. It was a good thing for
the Republican party to be licked
once in a while. A new deal would
help things all around. It was the
function and duty of every Republican
to manifest a spirit of Independence
and or freedom from restraint There
was too much Roosevelt" or there was
too much Aldrich and! Cannon and
Taft. Tho tariff ought to have been
revised and wun't The cost of liv
ing was too high. The saloons had
the Republican party under their
I thumb. Tho bosses must be kicked
I out. And so on. Bowerman bore the
brunt and burden of It all. It was
too much.
At the time of Mr. Bowerman's
stomlnationThe Oregonian said It was
not the best and wisest that could
have been made. It has no purpose
In recalling now that statement to
chide Mr. Bowerman's friends or to
explain and defend Its own course.
Through the impetus and impulse of
tho assembly Mr. Bowerman got the
primary nomination, though with a
small plurality. The aggregate oppo
sition vote was very largely against
him. If tho election had been held
at that time. It was obvious to The
Oregonian that Mr. Bowerman would
' have been overwhelmingly beaten. It
went Into the campaign believing that
tho chances were very much against
' his election. Though It had criticised
the methods of Mr. Bcwerman's nom
ination and was dubious about results.
It regarded him as a man well quali
fied to be Governor and supported
i htm energetically If not with entire
: cheerfulness. It saw ia the election
of Mr. West the continued dominance
of political and personal Influences In
Ms administration that It deemed
detrimental to tho best Interests of
tho state. Tho Oregonian has no rea
son to change Its opinion. Nor will
It suspend Us warfare on tho Bourne
and Chamberlain coalition. Tet it
wishes Mr. West as Governor well. It
will offer no captious criticism of any
' of his administrative acta; nor will It
I fail to commend, as It has heretofore
S commended him. for any meritorious
l service bo shall have rendered. Yet
(It would like to sea him a Governor
without personal or political obliga
tion to Senator Chamberlain and Sen
ator Bourne. Possibly tho course of
I events will sorro that problem for him
i and for tho state.
Tho moot momentous issues of the
campaign war centered In tho lnltla
j tire and referendum measures. They
. contained matters fraught with great
! consequence to tho public. It Is too
, early at this writing to say what has
. Ttappened In all the measures; yet The
Oregonian Is gratified to observe that
for tha most part Its advice as to
thee measures appears to have been
followed. Prohibition would have
been a sad mistake in Oregon. We
' ve escaped Its menace for tho pres-
ent. Yet we shall have It again and
again unless tho problem of tho sa
loon Is solved, at least measurably. In
Portland and throughout Oregon. If
the saloon element fancies that It has
taCAsv victory. U. la crossly. mUUkao.
Tho people who voted down prohibi
tion for the most part have no traffic
with any saloon. They regard It as
an unmitigated evil and would abolish
It utterly if it could be done without
the substitution of some greater
nuisance or greater evil. It is up to
tho Greater Home Rule Association
to show Its good faith by carrying for
ward tho movement for the improve.
ment of the conditions under which
liquor may bo sold, for the elimination
of tho dive, and the ostracism of the
rowdy and lawless saloonkeeper. These
are things that must be done.
PORTLAND'S GROWING DEBT.
City . voters have declared that city
taxpayers shall go into the business of
public wharves and shall support the
business out of taxes. This project la
laden with big debt, and waste and
high charges to be levied upon pri
vate property. The drydock is such a
public business, but has been neces
sary for the city to have for Its ship
ping. But In tho case of wharves, fa
cilities have been ample and rates
reasonable, without municipal under
taking. However, tho public Is now launched
upon this business and all citizens
must now make .the best or 11. The
constant endesvor hereafter must be
to keep down extravagance, check the
number and the greed of public em
ployes and restrict the deficit, which
taxpayers shall bo called upon to
make good, to as low figures aa possi
ble. This big docks project also means
that the city will need to reject other
schemes of debt for which various
groups of citizens are clamoring. The
public debt In Portland as now au
thorized Is about 116.000.000. not In
cluding some 18.000.000 Improvement
bonds for streets, sidewalks and sew
ers. This means that' Portland Is
loading itself heavily with Interest
charges. More debt will have to bo
authorized later for public wharves,
because the $2.5000.000 sanctioned
yesterday will but begin tho business.
This city Is a thriving and prosper
ous and rapidly-growing one. Taxes,
however, do not promote its thrift nor
Its growth. No people ever succeeded
In taxing themselves rich. Vigorous
as Port lard Is. it would be more so
with lighter burdens of taxation.
WHY STOCKS DETUNED.
Twenty-four hours is hardly suffi
cient time for even Wall street to
grasp the full meaning of the election
returns. For that reason tho whole
sale slump in prices in that historic
thoroughfare Is liable to be credited
with an Importance greater than that
to which It Is actually entitled. Colonel
Roosevelt and his very recent ally,
Willie Hearst, throughout .the cam
paign Insisted that Wail street was
fighting Stimson. But Wall street
since the beginning of tho present era
of "big business has always felt safer
under a Republican than a Demo
cratic administration. It thus follows
that Wall street preferred to take any
punishment which a Democratic ad
ministration might bring with it, to
being forever threatened with tho
erratic big stick. It is highly prob
able that the election of Stimson with
the attendant prestige It would bring
the Colonel would have caused a
greater slump than that -which took
place yesterday.
By reviewing the course of tho New
York stock market for tho few weeks
preceding the election, yesterday's
slump loses considerable of Its surprise-causing
features. For more
than a month, tho defeat of Stimson
and Its probable partial extinguish
ment of Roosevelt was so near to a
foregone conclusion, that stocks began
rising. For nearly six weeks the mar
ket was very strong at substantial
advances throughout the list. About
a fortnight ago tho New York Journal
of Commerce printed a list of thirty
three prominent industrial stocks and
thirty-eight railroad stocks in which
the aggregate value, based on tho
market quotations of October It, was
1500,000.000 greater than it was on
tho quotations eighteen days earlier.
There have been some fluctuations
since the list was printed, but when
the market closed at the bottom yes
terday It was still hanging around tho
figures which showed a gain of $500.
000,000 in. tho first eighteen days of
October.
In the Industrials, for instance,
steel, which was credited with a gain
of more than $30,000,000 in the first
eighteen days of October, was quoted
October 1 at "S, while the close yes
terday was "8. Union Pacific, the
leader among the railroads, closed
October 1 at 175, a gain of ten points
In eighteen days; yesterday it closed
at 1744. These figures show that
even after the slump, a list of the
leading securities affected were worth
about 1500.000.000 more than they
were October 1. From appearances
the professionals who had fully dis
counted the election of Dlx by work
ing stocks up to high figures were
quick to take their profits, when the
political situation was clarified.
The returns show the names of
some pretty good Democrats swept
Into Congress by the tidal wave and
from most of these men capital has
no more to fear than It would have
from honest, fair-minded Republicans.
For that reason. It la not Improbable
that tho drastic liquidation tn stocks
which set in yesterday will be checked
before It goes very far. The elements
which make for prosperity In this
country are too numerous and poten
tial to be entirely overcome by politics.
. ALASKAN DEVKLOrcOEST.
Mors than t9.S50.000 worth of gold
has been received from Alaska at the
Seattle assay office in the first ten
months of the year. It is believed
that the receipts for tho full twelve
months together wtih that which has
failed to pass through the Seattle
assay office will bring the total for
the year up to more than S15.000.000.
This Is a large sum to be realized from
a single industry. It is nearly as much
as tho proceeds of tho average Oregon
wheat crop. By rapid circulation in
Vancouver, Seattle and other cities
and towns where the owners of the
gold spend their Winters, It becomes
a very Important factor In general
business. While ft Is the enormous
output of tho Alaskan placer mines
that has made that country famous,
tho world will bo unable to compre
hend tho true value of that wonderful
reion until changed conditions admit
of a permanent population developing
other resource. ,
The fisheries ara of marvelous ex
tent and are more certain dividend
payers than tho mines, but will never
be worked to the best advantage until
better transportation and better laws
make Alaska a white man's country.
Timber resources are also of practi-
cully, unlimited, extant, a-Oil
f""1
Iron and oil are all in evidence on a
magnificent scale. In a land so ex
ceptionally well favored in natural
resources there are opportunities for
a large population. As this population
increases and Alaska gets down to
business principles, the entire Pacific
Coast will profit by the change. It is
a mistaken idea that any one portion
of the. Pacific Coast does not feel the
prosperity or adversity of some other
locality. When California has a poor
grain crop, Oregon and Washington
ara called on to supply the shortage,
and while the business is profitable. It
would be much better for both Ore
gon and California if the latter pro
duced enough grain for her own re
quirements, and Oregon could then
ship her surplus abroad and bring
new money Into the country.
So with Alaska. The disbursements
of the gold miners are fully appreciat
ed all over the Pacific Coast. Every
community gets some benefit from
them. It will not be possible, how
ever, to get tho best results from
Alaska until a permanent population
working there the year round gets
busy with tho coal. oil. timber and
other agricultural resources of the
country. 'When 'development along
these lines begins on a large scale the
Alaska trade will reach proportions
never dreamed possible a few years
ago. Incidentally it might be stated
that one-half of the annual cost of
public docks in Portland would bring
to Portland the finest and fastest fleet
of Alaskan steamers that could be
found on the Pacific Coast, and there
would be no trouble In finding dock
age facilities for them.
HOW CITIES ARE BTTt.T.
Tho building or additional 200
miles of electric lines In this state as
announced by President Stevens, of
the Hill system, is of more importance
than all of the public docks that could
be built in a century- These proposed
new lines with their feeders will open
up territory that Is rich In trade pos
sibilities, and It Is all tributary to
Portland and to no other port. To
understand what the expenditure of
this $10,000,000 for additional facili
ties by which the Willamette Valley
people can reach Portland means for
this city, it Is necessary only to take
note of what has happened along the
lino of the. Oregon Electric, which is
not yet four years old. These new
electric lines are opening up territory
that Is producing fruit, dairy products,
wool, hops, lumber, grain and other
great staples, for which there is a
never satisfied demand.
In nearly all of these staples the
output ia far In excess of homo re
quirements, and there Is an Immense
and steadily Increasing surplus that
finds a market east of the Rocky
Mountains and beyond tho sea. These
products, of course, find a market in
competition with those from other
parts of the world. If they are not
given cheap transportation from the
farm to tidewater or to tho East
ern markets, we will lose the market
and the railroads will lose the haul.
In this economic fact Ilea the mutual
interest of the Tailroads, and Portland
and the tributary territory.
AH that is necessary for Portland
to do to make this a great port is to
maintain a deep channel to tho sea,
and by keeping down publlo debt and
taxes encourage the establishment of
manufacturing enterprises. The rail
roads are doing more for Portland
and Oregon at this time than tho pub
lic dock and debt promoters can do
in a thousand years. What Portland
needs is more Jfm Hills and fewer
Joe Teals.
THE FRUITS Or VICTORY.
The 'hilarity of the Democrats over
the great National victory they have
won will naturally be sobered In a
few days by prosaic considerations
upon the best use to make of it
Which of the fundamental Democratic
policies will it be wisest to begin upon
when the new Congress meets T Shall
It bo the tariff, or tho revision of the
'House rules, or state rights, or the
reform of the courts T Much depends
upon a Judicious selection, because, In
spite of their brilliant success at the
polls, the Democrats are likely to
encounter certain difficulties when
they begin the actual business of leg
islation. No doubt tho most serious
of these difficulties will consist in
turning their untried hands to this
new task.
It Is much easier to be a critic of
what others are doing than to do
things oneself. For many years now
tho Democrats have been critics and
not very skillful ones at that. They
have bad no opportunity to enact any
of their cherished projects into laws.
All they could do was to pick flaws
in the measures offered by the Re
publicans. As we said, they, have
shown no particular ability even
In this comparatively humble role.
Without effective leadership and with
Dot much apparent loyalty to their
professed principles they have usually
scattered their fire badly and very
often a number of them have fought
in tho enemy's ranks. It will not be
easy for the Democrats to lay aside
their habits, of aimless party anarchy
all at once and undertake disciplined
and united action. Last year In their
part of erltlca they were greatly aided
by tho Insurgents, who possessed bril
liant capacity In that field. Often it
looked as If the Democrats were
merely following tho leadership of
such men as Murdock and Norris, like
disciples in the steps of a master.
Now tho Insurgents' keen ability to
find fault will be turned against their
former allies, or followers, and we
fear the results may be disastrous.
The expectation that the insurgents
will continue to be their faithful allies,
which gives so much comfort to the
Democrats, is pretty certain to prove
fallacious. Most of the Democratic
candidates who have been elected. to
Congress are anything but progressive
in their ideas. The voters chose them
mors to punish the regular Republi
cans than for any merit they pos
sessed. They represent nothing which
could attract the allegiance of the in
surgents and their acknowledged lead
er. Champ Clark, is as far behind the
times as' Cannon himself. Hence
there is little reason why the Demo
crats should expect much help from
the insurgents in Congress. The lat
ter are quite likely to pursue their
own aims In a compact body In tho
hope of becoming the nucleus of a
transformed Republican party. We
may possibly see them attracting a
bold and rebel spirit from tho Demo
cratic ranks now and then, but they
will not consent to merge their iden
tity with the numerical victors. There
is more political kinship between the
standpst Republicans and such Dem-
lmrati,ri lk.ern.aa4 Clark than thexo.
ia between -te Democrats and men
of the Murdock school.
For example, tha Insurgent Repub
licans stand unanimously for a tariff
commission and revision of the duties
one after another with careful con
servation of the protective principle.
To this both the Democrats and the
regular Republicans are opposed.
Their opposition Is stated in different
terms, but not so different as to pre
clude harmonious action. The regu
lars dislike the commission Idea- be
cause they look upon the tariff as a
sacred unity and cannot bear the
thought of dismembering It, slaying it
piecemeal, as It were. The Democrats
oppose the. commission because of its
fidelity to the protective principle.
But the significant point is that both
regulars and Democrats oppose it.
while the insurgents favor it. When
the test comes they may be found
aligned according to their preferences
and the tariff commission may be
wrecked Still no downward revision
can be expected on tho revenue, or
free trade, basis, because neither tho
Senate nor the President favors it.
Moreover, there are a great many
Democrats who would vote against it,
whatever they may have said on the
stump. Thus the blessings of Demo
cratic rule must come from something
other than tariff revision. In that
particular field they are fairly cer
tain to give us no new gains and
may destroy those we already have.
The Washington Railroad Commis
sion, which is now investigating tho
matter of Jobbing rates in our neigh
boring state, has undertaken a monu
mental task. The present hearing was
brought about by a complaint of Ta
coma and Seattle Jobbers, who were
dUsatislled with distributive rates
which resulted from tho interstate
commerce hearing In the celebrated
Spokane case. Any change that is
made in the distributive rates out of
the coast cities naturally affects the
Interior cities, which have been partly
placed on the Jobbing map by the In
terstate Commerce Commission, and if
the State Commission can work out a
system of rates that will be satisfac
tory to all of these points it will have
displayed talent that makes easy the
answer to such questions as "How old
is Annr and "Who struck Billy Pat
terson?" Meanwhile coast Jobbers are
Increasing their orders for freight by
water and will meet the emergencies
as they arise either at tidewater or in
the interior.
It is not always bank clearings and
statistics that call attention to the
growth of a community. We note,
for example, that Seaside, Or., has
within the past few days reported a
bank failure with the attendant sui
cide, and two hold-ups. These may
not be very acceptable methods for
calling attention to the town's growth,
but any one who has not visited the
popular little beach town for several
years will hardly believe that it has
grown Into such proportions that it has
become possible for such things to
happen there. It is only a very few
years ago that Seaside in Winter had
a population so small that there would
hardly be any one with whom to prove
an alibi when two men went out to
hold up people and the need of a bank
was never thought of;
Occasionally Oregon gets a lot of
effective publilcty without going after
It and without cost. The other day
the Now York Tribune printed a story
of a newly arrived German immigrant
who, on being searched at the Custom
House, was found to have several
lumps under his clothes. These proved
on examination to be rolls of bank
bills aggregating $11,000. He ex
plained that he was going to Oregon
to buy an apple orchard with tho
money. This story has been copied
into half a dozen of the big Eastern
newspapers which came to The Orego
nian yesterday. It Is one of the odd
things in the small news of the day
that within a year will find its way
into the reprint of half the newspa
pers of the land. And it won't hurt
Oregon.
One of the most misleading of com
mon sayings is that which tells us
"human life hangs by a thread, it is
but a dying taper," and so on. Man
is a tough animal,' very hard to kilL
Tho fisherman who survived after
eleven hours of exposure on a log In
the frightful storm of November 7
illustrates our point, and his case Is
not unique by any means. If human
life really did hang by a thread tha
race would have been extinct long
and long ago.
It Is no wonder that Mr. Taft's
smile faded as he read the election
returns. Still he may possess that
supreme political .genius which can
draw victory from defeat. It is easily
possible for him to exercise qualities
for the next two years which will re
trieve present reverses and usher in
a great political triumph.
Science is making progress. By
the use of a serum, physicians in San
Francisco saved the life of a man dy
ing of lockjaw. . The injections cost
$30, which Is a small price to pay for
a human being.
Those of the fair sex genuinely
wanting the ballot may be clothed
with the franchise by taking up their
residence in Vancouver and yet par
ticipate in all other Portland activi
ties. As a Republican state with a Demo
cratic Governor-elect, Oregon finds
herself in the company of much
greater commonwealths, notably New
York and Ohio.
Elevation of Portland from the
forty-second place among American
cities to the twenty-eighth in ten years
Is something to be proud of.
They who find no pleasure in dis
cussing Tuesday's results may turn
the conversation to that universally
popular topic. Oregon apples.
That Abruzzi-Elklns affair has last
ed too long for any good to come of it,
aver the gossips, who see bad luck In
long engagements.
Everybody Is naturally curious to
know what tho contributing editor
will have to say in this week's Out
look. Some one Is sure to spring it, so
here goes: West-ward the star of
Oregon takes its way.
And there's only two weeks in which
to save enough money for tha Thanks
giving blr' ,- - .
INTERESTING YOUNG CHILDRE.V
How Cornell TJalverUty la Matin
Farmers for the Future.
Christian Herald.
For many years the New York State
Agricultural College of Cornell Univer
sity has made a practice of answering
letters from school children, bearing in
quiries on subjects relating to horticul
ture and natural history. These letters
averaged thirty thousand a year. 'and
they come largely from youngsters of
Upper New York state. Most of the
communications were until recently an
swered by Mr. Spencer, who signed his
replies "Uncle John." Consequently
"Uncle John's" name Is a household
word in the rural parts of- New York.
President W. C Brown of the New
York Central Railroad knew this and
it was his idea to attach to the agricul
tural special sent out by his company
a car equipped for the children's own
use in charge of "Uncle John." So, while
the older folks crowd Into the dairy
car, the poultry car and tho farm garden
car, wherever the train stops, the chil
dren pile Into the forward car of the
train labeled "Uncle John's boys and
girls." There they are greeted by a gray
haired man of the comfortable rotund
ity ascribed to St. Nicholas himself, and
it Is safe to assert that that particular
car holds more Nature enthusiasts than
any othec, coach on the train.
"Catch 'em young. Get them enthu
siasts than any other coach on the
train. Minds are growing, and the next
generation of railroad men won't have
to bother about teaching agriculture."
That ithe way President Brown ex
plained bis reasons for providing in
struction for the children.
MAKING OF KEWSPAPER MEN
Theories May Be learned In Collegei
Tkra Kxperlenee.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Theological schools do not turn out
ready-made preachers, but young men
who are trained to become preachers.
Medical schools do not turn out phy
sicians, but young men who will in
time become physicians. The skilled
surgeon Is not the product of a collego
of surgery, but of education plus ex
perience. The lawyer learns more out
of college than he learns in college.
Schools of journalism will not make
journalists, but there is no reason why
they should not be Increasingly useful
tn training young men who have a nat
ural aptitude for.newspaper work.
The most valuable equipment they
can give the student la knowledge' of
subjects with which the newspaper man
must deal after graduation from the
ranks. Street -fights, fires, railroad
wrecks, political conventions, and the
many occurrences and events custom
arily treated as news, are handled dif
ferently by different newspapers. The
"cub" reporter who begins work with
out opinions of his own as to how the
news should be served to the consumer
will learn the taste and the methods of
the newspaper he serves as readily as
the graduate of a school of journalism.
But there are too many bright young
men who can write and article and too
few possessing a sufficiently broad ed
ucation to fit them for higher position
and larger usefulness. Writing is part
ly a gift and partly an art acquired
by conscientious practice. Knowledge
of what to write and what not to write
must be gained by conscientious study
that may well be begun In college, but
must be continued throughout life.
Seaaoa of Political Tumult.
Christian Herald.
As the political campaign draws to a
close and the shouting of the great Na
tional "talk test" is nearly ended, the
average American citizen is glad of the
prospect of relief from tfie surfeit of
discussion which has occupied the last
six weeks. It has been a period of
unusual excitement and the furious
contention of the various factions, with
their charges and counter-charges, has
bean even more pronounced than in re
cent years. But while in the great
game of politics these vivid passages
may amuse the practical politicians,
they are by no means edifying or
agreeable to the general public. Be
sides, each candidate of Importance
has his hired trumpeters, who, with pen
and voice, deluge the opposition with
blander and rancor, which are returned
with liberal interest. This goes on at
a tremendous rate until thoughtful peo
ple stand amazed and dismayed.
Worthy candidates, who had believed
themselves possessed of fairly clean
records, find themselves pictured as
creatures so vile that they feel like
surrendering to the nearest Sheriff and
E-oinK to hide in jail. Every public
man, at such a time. Is presented in a
double role; as a good, patriotic citi
zen, and as a despicable corruptlonist
and a dangerous foe to honest govern
ment. It's a sorry spectacle, but appar
ently unescapable under existing polit
ical conditions.
"Bromidloms' at the Aero Meet.
New York Dispatch. '
Here are a few of the bromidloms
rampant at Belmont Park, heard on an
average of 900 times In a given after
noon during the aero meet:
1. "Two days ago I didn't know a
biplane from a monoplane, and now
I'm explaining things to everybody."
2. "Yes, It's fine to watch them,
but they'll never be practicable."
To which the Invariable answer is:
3. "It doesn't look as If they're go
ing fast, but you can bet they are."
4. 'My, the Wrights must have made
a lot of money!"
And the reply here is: "Yes, but
think of the expenses for repairs!"
6. "Well, I don't want to try It un
til they get the thing worked out."
8. "I wonder how it feels to be up
that hlghr
7. "It must be terrible for their
wives."
- . Pointed Parajrxapba.
' Chicago News.
It's as useless to worry as it is to tell
people not to worry.
More men have been ruined by schemes
than by bad associates.
It's never too late to mend except
when you find yourself broke.
Talk is so cheap that most of it has
to be disposed of at a discount
Costly experience Is a drug In the
market when you attempt to sell It.
With the exception of money there Is
nothing harder to keep than an um
brella. i . ,n,, .an yi.tt-t- -tiMiire ttie value of
anything people quarrel over by the size
of the quarrel.
Money is something most of us spend
a lot of in a strenuous effort to get
something for nothing.
The Campaign In New York.
New York World.
A well-dressed young man called at
the headquarters of the Democratio
state commute and accosted "Charley"
White, the well-known sporting referee,
who Is sergeant-at-arms to the commit
tee. .
"Excuse me, sir." asked the young
man. "but where can I find General
Apathy 7" -
"Who asisea
"General Apathy."
..... i .,, WMto. u a' llcrht
H . CJM " --
dawned upon him. "You'll find him at
the Republican headquarters. The
whole Apathy family live there."
The American Author of Today.
Life.
He has "a keen mind."
He Is "brilliant and incisive."
u. . nrnnderful and "comDelllng"
knowledge of human nature.
His dialogue always -spamies.
He is full of "gems of thought."
He' has "intense human interest."
He "grips you." " ,
His work is always "vital.
He "tm-llls you mightily."
He has "created a new type." .
JUDGE PARKER GAZES ON T. R.
Sidelights en a Lively Incident In
New York: Political Campaign.
New York Sun. -
As he stepped off a regular train
without a solitary private car. Judge
Alton B. Parker was greeted by a small
crowd, composed mostly of correspond
ents. They told him that he had the
chance of his life to hear Mr. Roosevelt.
The Judge thought he'd take a chance.
He walked down the platform toward
where the Richland audience was gath
ered. Suddenly Mr. Parker guessed he
wouldn't go right up to the rear plat
form. He thought he could hear all
right from where he stood. He re
marked that all was well.
"You, my friend, who fought in the
Grand Army," the Colonel was saying
as the Judge surveyed him from afar,
"in those days you appealed to all
good citizens to stand together, and so
now I have the right to appeal to all
good citizens to stand together in this
contest. - We have as our candidate"
(but the noise interrupted him).
"I can't talk against two tooting en
gines," he shouted.
"Against one?" asked a man In the
crowd.
"One I can get on fairly well with."
was the retort.
"We ask your support of Stimson."
continued the Colonel, "because he is
opposed to Tammany Hall and by the
big trusts. Eyery crooked business
man "
"Say, Colonel," piped a suspicious
looking individual, "Judge Parker can't
hear you.
The Colonel glared.
"Every crooked business roan," he
went on, "and every crooked politician
I expect to oppose our candidate. I
am glad to see you, comrade."
Comrade I hear with pleasure and
believe in every word you say.
The Colonel I am glad you do.
While this repartee was going on
Judge Parker held his place. He
couldn't be persuaded to greet the' Col
onel and be went away without even
speaking. He remarked as he left that
everything was fine where he had been,
meaning, of course, that the Democrats
were blossoming out In good shape.
Mr. Roosevelt knew that the Judge
was there all the time. .
HOW SOME MEN FALL IN LOVE.
Propinquity Accounts for Seme of the
Oddly Assorted Couples.
Truth, London.
In the case of men propinquity ac
counts, perhaps, for some of the most
oddly assorted couples. If a man sees
a woman at regular intervals for any
length of time she becomes a habit, and
the moment he becomes conscious of
the habit he usually proposes, preferring
to take the Ills he thinks he knows rather
than those he wots not of. Here, again,
the cloak of habit obscures from him
the fact that she dresses badly and is
proportionately jealous of other women,
that even if Ghe did her hair with rather
less resemblance to' a wooden transfor
mation she could never be either attrac
tive or punctual. If she makes him really
comfortable the cloak may never fall,
and they count as a happily married
couple.
Less material grounds are that the
girl may have a turn for sentiment, the
man for romance. For how many en
gagements are the moon and a rich
baritone responsible? For. how many
more a pair of earrings or a curl on the
nape of the neck? I know of one en
gagement that was entirely due to a
hunting accident The man broke his
arm out hunting, and in the lull caused
by the temporary and unwilling suspen
sion of his activities the girl found his
sling perfectly irresistible. If a man is
going out to India for a term of years
he nearly always makes a point of pro
posing the night before he starts, and
the girl nearly always accepts him. Ab
sence does not always make the heart
grow fonder, but the thought of absence
Invariably Incites it to momentary
aberration.
Shortage in Girls.
Chicago Tribune.
As though an" increased cost of liv
ing, higher freight rates, and similar
ills to man were not sufficient, we are
confronted, so the statisticians tell us.
with a shortage of women. Although
there are more women than men in the
census tables, the supply of girls, the
raw material from which women .are
made, is far below that of boys, and
unless something can be done about it
there will not be enough women to go
around.
To make matters worse, boys are in
creasing at an alarming rate. Not con
tent with coming in singles, they are
appearing In doubles and triples, thus
making for a still greater discrepancy
in the other sex.
We do not pretend to account for
this. We only state it as a tact t or
many years the balance of sex has been
with the women. New England, we are
told, swarms with unmated females.
Matrimonial agencies thrive there, and
a fine export business is done with
Nome, Alaska, and other points where
the nsan predominate. Now that the
production has fallen off, the law of
supply and demand will advance the
price, and that in the face of Winter's
approach.
One-Cent Poatage en Drop Letters.
Syracuse Post-Standard.
Provided Postmaster-General Hitchcock
does not find it advisable to ask the
next Congress to reduce the rate upon
all first-class mail matter to 1 cent, as
he now hopes to do. he should not fall
to ask the reduction upon drop letters.
The United States can well afford to
carry letters mailed in Syracuse for de
livery In Syracuse or upon the rural
routes out of Syracuse for one cent
There would be profit to the Government
In handling this business at the one-cent
rate. Further, the reduction would mean
a great increase in the amount of local
mail handled and a great convenience
to local merchants, who while they may
send circulars for a cent must pay 2
cents upon each bill sent out In some
cases it is found cheaper to use the
postal service. Whatever the course of
the Postoffiee Department with regard
to first-class mail rates generally, the
letter mailed at a postoffiee for deliv
ery from that office should pay only 1
cent '
Prince of Wales Take IS-Cent Lunch.
London Cor. Boston Herald.
Stoke Flemming, a little village near
Dartmouth, has the honor of providing
the Prince of Wales with an 18-cent
tea every Sunday afternoon. There is
a famous lunch shop in this village,
where tea with clotted cream, rasp
berry jam and rich cakes are served,
and the young cadets from Dartmouth
College, having aiscovemu v. uw
sort to it every week.
Most of them gorge on jam and cakes,
but the Prince of Wales takes the wiser
course and has a sober tea of bread and
butter and cream and one slice of cake.
Then, while his comrades are busy
chalking up their accounts to be paid
at some time in the future, the young
Prince settles his bill and goes home.
A Little Essay on Hotel Beda.
Chicago News.
"Have you always been iir the show
business?" I asked tho six-foot-eight
contortionist
"Oh, no." he hastened to say, "I be
gan work as a commercial traveler, and
was on the road selling goods tor 15
years."
"Then what in the world put It into
your head to become a contortionist?"
I questioned.
"I was compelled to become one," he
told me. his voice vibrant with what,
I subsequently learned, was resentment
over past Impositions, "I was compelled
to become one by the little, measly ho
tel beds I had to sleep, in."
Life's Sunny Side
When a noted Irish orator was In Am
erica a few years ago, he appeared at
a meeting In 9t Louis and delivered an
address on the subject of "Home Rule
for Ireland." There were, six thousand
of his countrymen In the audience. At
the close of his remarks the chairman
asked : f
"Would anyone like to ask the speak
er a question?"
A man in the rear of the hall, who
was quite evidently under the influence
of liquor, arose and said: "Will the gen
tleman tell us if there is any reason
why the Irish should not be wiped oif
the face of the earth?"
Immediately pandemonium reigned.
The disturber was attacked from every
quarter. Calls of "Down with him," "Let
me at him," came from all directions.
Finally he was rescued by the police
man and. torn and bleeding, and in an
unconscious condition, was placed in an
ambulance which had been called. Or
der was In a measure restored. While
the audience could still hear the clatter
of the ambulance and the sound of Its
gong as it conveyed its burden to the
hospital, the chairman stepped forward
anda) asked: "Would anybody like to
asknother question?" National Monthly
m m
Em 11 Seidel. the Mayor of Milwaukee,
said in a recent after-dinner speech: .
"Some people hold that alcohol is to
blame for the poverty and wretchedness
w-e see around us. That Is as illogical a
view as one I heard put forth by a news
boy the other day.
"As I waited on a corner for a car
a bootblack said to a newsboy:
" 'Bill, how is it the sea don't run over
when all the rivers runs into it?"
" 'Why, ye chump,' Bill answered, don't
ye know the sea is full of sponges?" "
Detroit Free Press.
George von L. Meyer, the Secretary of
the Navy, praised, at a naval dinner in
Washington, the old sea dog.
"One of these typical old sea dogs,"
he ended, '"was persuaded one day in
Philadelphia to attend a tea. 1 met
him a short time afterward, and said:
" 'Well, Marlinspike, I hear you've been
doing tea parties in Philadelphia?'
" Tfes, sir," the old salt replied. 'I did
go to one tea party, sir.'
" 'And how did you feel there among
ail those ladles?' I asked.
" 1 felt like a sperm whale doln'
crochet work," he replied." Washington
Star.
a a a
A lecturer gave a very learned and In
teresting address before a woman's club
on "The Decadence of Pure English." At
the close of the talk a much-overdressed
woman came up to h lm and said:
"I did enjoy your talk ever and ever
so much, and I agree with you that the
English language is decading something
awful. Hardly no one talks proper now
adays, and the land only knows what
the next generation will talk like If
nothing ain't done about it" Youth's
Companion.
a a
"It would probably take many genera
tions of adversity to train Americans in
to the far-seeing thriftlness of my peo
ple," once observed an American of
Scotch birth. "I remember a case of
a Scotch woman who had been promised
a new bonnet by a lady. Before she
undertook the purchase the lady called
and asked the good woman:
" 'Would you rather have a felt or a
straw bonnet Mrs. Carmichael?'
" 'Weel,' responded Mrs. Carmichael
thoughtfully, 1 think I'll tak' a strae
ane. It'll maybe be a mouthfu' to the
coo when I'm done wl' It' " Llppin
cott's. '
a a ,
Talk about making good with your
friends, a New Orleans man told every
body he knew . that he was going to
Philadelphia for the dual purpose of see
ing the world's baseball series and hav
ing a slight surgical operation performed.
Reaching this city, he consulted a spe
cialist and was told that an operation
was not necessary.
"But, doctor." the New Orleans party
urgently interposed, "it must be done."
"Why must it?" wonderingly queried
the surgeon.
"Because," was the startling rejoinder
of the Southern man, "I told all the boys
at home that I was going to have tha
operation performed, and if I don't make
good they will kid the life out of me."
Philadelphia Telegraph.
Ed Howe's Philosophy.
Atchison Globe.
Your ; credit may be good, but your
money is better.
Dressmakers have a mighty poor opin
ion of the average woman's "figure."
Men don't like hard work; they don't
like loafing. Unfortunately, there is no
happy medium..
There are a number of undesirable
citizens Colonel Roosevelt has not heard
of. and not all of them belong to the
predatory rich.
A man who passes through a strange
town in an automobile looks as import
ant as railroad officials used to look in
private cars, in the old days before rail
road officials were disciplined.
Raising a hundred bushels of corn per
acre is more important than establishing
a new altitude record, or going through
the Niagara whirlpool in a barrel, even
if it does attract less attention.
So far as we have been able to learn,
the bloodhounds never came as near
catching anything else as they did to
catching Eliza just before she struck
the Ohio River and the floating ice.
The more a man neglects his business
for booze, or politics, or committee work
generally, the more he complains about
hard times. You never knew a man who
neglected his work who wasn't always
complaining about the country going to .
the dogs.
Two Students With "Historic" Names.
New York Mali.
There was a great laugh among the
members of the fire insurance class
of the School of Commerce and Ac
counts of New. York University on
Washington Square the other night
when Instructor E. R. Hardy, of the
New York Fire Insurance Exchange;
called the roll of students. He pro
gressed down through the alphabet
to the Js.
"Mr. Jeffries?"
"Here."
"Mr. Johnson?"
The response was lost in the chorus
of laughter.
There will likely be a change In the
arrangements of the roll before the
next lecture.
Reflections of a Bachelor.
Vat-V TrftFS.
Good manners can run a close race
for success with brains.
Who rides away to fast on horseback,
walks home afoot' and limping.
Roses withered to ashes, when they
were from the right man. bloom forever
to a woman. .
Girls take such an accurate measure of
their brothers it's queer they never do
of any other man.
A man things fifty cents is a copper
when he is spending it on himself and
tio when on J-ils family.
The Difference.
Baltimore American.
"Last year Jones was paying court to
a woman."
"Well." . ' '
"This year he Is paying her alimony.
Unsolved Problem.
Dallas News.
Percy Noodles declared that he has
lain awake half the nights for a week
trying to Imagine how a girl in a hob
ble skirt would ride a bicycle.
i