Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, June 27, 1910, Page 6, Image 6

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with Special Agency New York, rooms 43
Tribune building. Chicago, rooms 510
612 Tribune building.
It is now costing more than a bil
lion dollars a. year to run this great
'end glorious republic, whose seat is at
Washington, D. C. 'It costs prodigious 1
Bums additional to run state and
county and local governments. This
means, taxation .that would stagger
any people on earth. It has made the
people of the United States look about
them to find the cause of high cost
of living. It is more extravagant
waste than kingdom, monarchy or
despotism would make.
At the session of Congress just
ended, appropriations reached a total
of $1,054,000,000. Demands for grow
ing Governmental bureaus which are
Increasing in officialdom apace for
pensions, Army and Navy,' rivers and"
harbors and fo various local "pork
barrel" purposes, make an enormous
bill for the people to pay. Yet amid
this increasing expense, foolish clamor
goes up. Incited by harangues of
demagogue politicians, for lower taxes
on the necessaries of the people's con
sumption. Large part of the expenditures is
wasted through extravagant and sur
plus officialdom. If the government
were run on the economical principles
of private business, the saving would
certainly be very large. But, of course,
that is impossible. Extravagance is
one of the luxuries of "free" govern
ment. Several days ago Senator Aldrlch
asserted in the Senate that $300,000,
000 a year could be saved taxpayers
of the Nation, if the National Govern
ment could be administered on "busi
ness principles." His remarks are
thus quoted in the Congressional Rec
ord: Mr. Aldrlch If the whole business of this
country was turned over to a business man,
to control and manage it by himself on busi
ness principles, the expenditures of the Gov
ernment could. In my opinion, be reduced
Mr. Beveridge A year.
Mr. Aldrlch I repeat that. That is my
Judgment about it. I said that if I, as a
business man, could take possession of this
Government and run It as I would run my
own private business, without any let or
hindrance from any one, I believe that say
J300.000.O00 could be saved: and I say It
now. I realize that it is not feasible or
possible. The Government of the United
States Is not going to be turned over to any
Individual. It cannot be turned over to any
individual. -
While this is no valid argument
against "free" government, still it is
a most important argument against
wholesale extension of Governmental
powers and functions and against
Governmental owhership and opera
tion of public utilities. . it serves as a
warninir to the Tiublic that it must
continually pay more ' and heavier
taxes. And because the chief sources
of revenue are duties and excises,
this means that the people must ex
pect to pay more into the treasury in
taxes on articles they consume. The
lower-tax promise of politicians who
rail at the tariff can never" be ful
filled. .
and Idaho will look at the hosts of
officials that have invaded their boun
daries to "conserve" forests, minerals
and streams, they will see a sample
of the tax-eating appetite of the Gov-
ernment. The more the officials con
sume the more they crave. It is no
exaggeration to say that; they will
devour the value of the things they
pretend to conserve, many times over.
Washington dispatches in yester
day's Oregonian indicate a badly-
mixed situation In Nicaragua. With
the representative of Estrada, the
rebel, demanding , interception of a
vessel supposed to be carrying arms
' for the Government troops, and with
Senator Stone openly stating that the
revolution is backed by a syndicate, it
. would seem to be a time for some
first-class diplomacy, if this Govern
ment wishes to emerge from the row
without a legacy of trouble. The
United States, as a rule, does not par
ticipate in the family rows of its
neighbors, until American interests
ere threatened, and when the time
appears ripe for intervention, the pro
test is emphatic and decisive. Unfor
tunately for our record in this respect.
there has been too much dilly-dallying
- in mis XNicaraguan conflict,
i Our attitude throughout the con
test has been that of an over-cautious
party anxious to pick the winner. As
a result of this halting policy, neither
tne JNicaraguan government nor the
revolutionists are satisfied. Regard
less of where the banner of victory
snau percn ra the end, we shall have
accumulated a select assortment of
enemies not at all conducive to the
enlargement of our trade with Nlcar.
agua. When the Nicaraguan govern
ment, early m the present trouble,
captured a couple of wandering Amer
icans, vho had Joined the revolution
ists to assist in overthrowing the
government, the United States made
a feeble protest. This protest was not
loud enough to defer the execution of
the two soldiers of fortune, who by
tneir own admission, in letters after
wards, made public, had earned . the
; death penalty. . It was of sufficient
Importance, however, to Incur the
hatred of a great many supporters of
, tne iMuurdsuuu uovernmBnt. ine rev
olutionists, failing to save their allies,
were naturally more Incensed than the
That hone Is not vet ahandrmprl nf
dragging the United States into the
fight as an ally of the Estrada forces
Is apparent from the demand of Dr.:
Salvador Castrillo that Secretary
Knox intercept, a steamer 'carrying
arms to Madriz. .As the latter Is the
head of the only Nicaraguan govern
ment that Is recognized by- this coun-
, try or by any other country, it would
' eeem. that he was within his rights, in
buying arms wherever they were for
sale, and in entering them at any
point where he could dodge the revo
lutionists.. The policy of "hands off"
would be a good one for. the United
States to follow. at this time -until our
interests are more in jeopardy than
at present. , ,
Oregon Democrats declare for polit
ical purposes that the . Republican
party is rushing headlong to" destruc-.
tion," by refusing to follow headship of
anti-assembly "leaders," who are try-,
ing to "boss" the party with their
near-Democratic Ideas. '
But suppose, now, the Republican
party had adopted the headship of
U'Ren, Brownell, Bourne and the rest.
and was rushing into the contest this
year under their guidance. What
words could then depict the intense
scorn of Democrats and their organs,
towards a party that would acknowl
edge such leaders?
It wo.uld shock and disgust Demo
crats that the party of Lincoln should
exhibit such deficiency; that" an his
toric party of grand and matchless
achievements should stoop to the lit
tleness of men of this character and
caliber. The Democratic press would
voico their scorn and their disgust
daily. Its appeal to the people to re
ject a party so guided or- le.d would
put a tongue In the thunder's mouth.
AllHhe exclamatory phrases against
assembly, now emanating from Demo
cratic sources, are but a feeble outcry
compared with the demonstration that
would be heaped upon the degenerate
rival party, if it accepted the CRen-Bourne-Brownell
leadership now
proclaimed by them as the consum
mate flower and fruit of political
But noWThat the Republican party
will not accept nor follow these "lead
ers," Democratic bosses make great
furor over them, call them the Repub
lican party's true patriots and match
less prophets, and have adopted them
as theirs friends and -allies in the
enemy's camp. With them the Demo
cratic bosses are co-operating for the
purpose- of bringing the Democratic
party to full power in Oregon.
Democrats fear Republican assem
bly will make it impossible for them
to keep up their old game of preyrhg .
upon Republican dissension. So. they
have taken up the cry against an- an
cient and honorable privilege of -free
citizens that of assembly.
But assembly will be held, never
theless, and all genuine Republicans
will be fully represented in it.
Several bridges, built high across
the Willamette River, will serve the
public better than - one tunnel under
the stream and will cost less. This
is the testimony of competent engi
neers, and they ought to know. The
serviceability of one tube would be
similar to that of 'one bridge it would
afford means of crossing the river at
one place only, and the public ob
viously wants more facilities than
that. '
Besides, a tunnel would serve only
one kind of traffic that of streetcars.
High bridges, ' like that proposed at
Broadway, several of them, are more
desirable than one tube, and are bet
ter within the resources of the city
to pay for. There will be a tunnel
under the river some day, perhaps
several of them, but the time for them
is not now. This is the time for
building Broadway bridge. After that
will com) some other project another
bridge, or perhaps a tube. " '
"Fireproof schoolhouses" Is a
mouth-filling phrase that has found
lodgment on the tongues of a con
siderable number of persons who talk
on the theoretical side ' of things
rather ' than on the practical. No
schoolhouses are really fireproof.
They can be built so only by enor
mous expenditure of money, which, is
beyond the means of Portland and
other cities to pay. ,
oub &liiuuiiiuuss can ana snouia
be built so that they may be emptied
of their human contents before fire
shall endanger lives of children. Large
corridors, wide and straight stairways
-not too steep and frequent fire-
drill practice will protect children
from fire anJ stanrpede. All school
houses in Portland and elsewhere In
thjs country are built of wood, afcnd
the modern ones are serviceable and
safe. With proper precautions in
building wooden structures and in
training children there will be no fire
If it were necessary to build school
houses of so-called fireproof material,
means would be found to construct;
them that way. But -Portland has
found wood serviceable, practical and
safe through 60 years of experience.
Nine-tenths of the. people live in
wooden houses for the same reasons.
Let, schoolhouses be 'built so that
children can quickly rush out of them
and there will be po danger. t
"The Milwaukee line wants to en
ter Portland, but how will it get in?"
says an excitable and unreliable local
paper, addicted to the practice of cir
culating misinformation . in lieu of
facts and lucid argument,- against
measures that d,o not meet its ap
proval. ''It (the Milwaukee) main
tains an Oriental steamship . service.
How could It reach the' East Side
water-front in such a way as to make
connections with an Oriental liner?"
continues, this organ of misrepre
sentation. The natural Inference which a
stranger would draw from . reading
this sort of nonsense would be that
Portland's harbor is limited to the
few blocks, which border " the river
along the main part of the city. Mr.
Hill is something of a railroad build
er, and, incidentally, is in the Oriental
steamship business. . When he entered
Seattle with his steamship line, he
passed up all of the expensive sites in
the heart of the city, and selected
some cheap frontage at Smith's Cove,
about four miles .out . of. the city
proper. .
' Mr. Hill failed to find as much
water in the channel at Smith's Cove
as can be found on .either side of the
river anywhere along the twenty-four
miles of good frontage and dock sites
that, lie between Portland proper and
the mouth of the Willamette. He had
no difficulty, however, in dredging out
a dock site that ia ample for all . of
his business, both local and transcon
tinental.; Milwaukee will encounter
no greater difficulty, when) It enters
Portland, although, being almost ex
clusively a Harriman line. It will find
'some .- very desirable sites already
owned by that system, and available
for business. Portland, with its great
, mileage or water front on both sides
of the river, with Willamette Slough
reached by both rail and steam roads,
and with Columbia Slough, similarly
situated, has the finest possibilities for
a great harbor that are possessed by
any city on the Coast. .
" Wot in a hundred years of the great
est possible progress will this city be
crowded for wharfage facilities. The
present attempts to belittle our pres
tige in this matter cannot possibly ac
complish anything but harm, for such
unwarranted criticism falls into the
hands of strangers, who thus, get an
entirely erroneous view of our facili
ties and possibilities. Portland is too
big a city to handle all of its water
front business along a few blocks of
frontage, and in the future, as in the
past, it will meet any emergency that
may arise, and will provide facilities
for all ef the business, ocean or rail,
that will come to the port.
,'The' people," we are, told, should
decide whether Portland should" load
its taxpayers with taxes, debt, poli
ticians and agitators, for the purpose
of establishing and maintaining pub
lic docks. But where public docks are
successful as In enlightened despot
isms of Europe the people do not
decide anything in regard to docks.
Their rulers, acting upon advice of
engineers, financiers and navigation
experts, decide all matters. The peo
ple's demagogues and labor agitators
in America, who make civil admin
istration and government projects
profligate, wasteful and debt-ridden,
have no Inning there.
In Portland the people have no
knowledge of detail or experience nor
forecast of consequences, sufficient to
determine this matter, although they
are well informed and intelligent. Not
even can the peqjIe determine the
best . of several kinds of pavement.
Yet pavement problems, are simple
compared with dock problems. On
the subject of pavements, however,
only a few . have positive and accu
rate information.
' It is no reproach to the people that
they are not all specialists on all sub
jects. But they are entitled to - the
guidance of specialists on everything
they undertake. The question of
docks is not a proper one to decide
by counting votes of a majority. A
majority, of ballots, delivered .without
experience or knowledge, may be a
hindrance rather than a progressive
step and probably will be. It cer
tainly was not a progressive step when
It authorized the city three years ago
to enter the docks business.
There is no more reason for- thA r-l t v
.o enter the docks business than the
streetcar business or the telephone
business or the electric lighting busi
ness. All these undertakings would be
extravagant, wasteful and debt-building
as parts of the city government.
They would te manipulated by politi
cal Charlatans and labor agitators.
Resides, there is no need of public
docks here. The big shipping is car
ried on by large firms, that have their
own wharves and that load and un
load vessels promptly and at reason
able rates. Is the city to take up
this work for the shipping firms and
make taxpayers foot the bills?
Let this agitation for public docks
cease and private capital will provide
all the 1 new dockage facilities that
the growing commerce will require.
A suit filed recently before the court
in Vancouver illustrates again the folly
of aged parents in conveying their
property to children for the consider
ation' of care and maintenance during'
the remainder of their lives. - The
plaintiff In this suit is a woman of 87
years; the defendant is her son. In
consideration of love," maintenance
(including clothing) and such care and
kindness as her age required during
the remainder of her life she conveyed
to. her son the property of which she
was possessed. She has found, or so
alleges, that the consideration that
she gave was not held to be sufficient
for the consideration that she sought
and for which she stipulated and she
has appealed to the court to cancel
the bargain.
It is, of course', probable that this
aged woman thinks she see-. Intent to
slight and neglect her which does not
exist. The tendency of the ' aged in
this direction is one of the strongest
reasons why they should maintain
their individual property rights as long
as they have need of a home. On the
other hand, it is practically certain
that a man who will take over a deed
to his mother's home In consideration
of giving her tfte care and comfort
which It is his duty, and should be a
pleasure for him to bestow even were
she penniless and homeless. Is not fo
be trusted very far to discharge this
duty when he has to be paid, with his
mother's last property holdings, to do
A former well-known citizen' of
Portland, who died some years-ago,
possessed of considerable property, to
gether with a wife and half a dozen
children, conveyed by will, with the
nominal restrictions required by law,
his entire property to his wife with
this wholesome injunction: "Keep
the loait under your, own arm, Mary;
if the children 'need 'a slice, cut it off,
not too thick, but be sure to hold
on to the loaf."
The wisdom of this advice is proven
every time an aged parent parts with
the family loaf under the promise that
he or she shall be fed from It during
life. The child, that exacts such, a
surrender is not' to be trusted as an
almoner, ' and ten chances to one the
parent who. makes such surrender will
live to regret it, for cause, real or fan
cied, the one being not less grievous
and hard . to bear than the other.
Selfishness "is apt to rule in such mat
ters,, and it should not be given the
whiphand. The -man who will not
treat his aged mother or father with
filial consideration without a deed to
his or her property will not do so
when once the deed to the property is
transferred to him. Than this, noth
ing .Is more certain.
The New York Journal, of Com
merce sarcastically mentions the re
cent ship subsidy speech of Repre
sentative Humphrey as "The finest
example of boldness in stating in pos
itive terms what is known not to be
fact, and what could not by any pos
sibility be fact." Mr. Humphrey de
clared that" 90 per cent of our com
merce is carried by a giant monopoly
composed of foreign ships, between
which there is not the slightest com
petition. Humorously assuming that
such a monopoly exists, the New York
paper suggests as -a means of getting
rid of it, that we "continue to make
it cost American capital one-third
more to build, own and operate ships
than it costs the monopoly; exclude
all but American-built and American
manned ships from American regis-
try, , and then tax our people enough
to- raise a mightier marine and do
the monopolizing ourselves." The wild
statements of Mr. Humphrey have
done nearly as much to discredit the
'cause of the subsidy people as has
been done by Penton, the salaried liar
of the subsidy seekers.
With the river and harbor bill
sighed by the President, all doubts
about the opening of the Willamette
River as a toll-free highway have been
removed. The $300,000 appropriation,
which has been a hobby of Represent
ative Hawley, will relieve producers
of the 50 cents per ton' lockage charge,
which for so many years has been a
burden on river traffic. The success
of the measure-is -due to the persis
tent efforts of the Willamette Valley
citizens and newspapers, which for
years have kept the matter continual
ly before the public. . The Oregonian
and other newspapers In the. Willam
ette Valley were endeavoring to re
move this lockage handicap for a
quarter of a century before some ef
the blatant newspapers now claiming
credit for the achievement were in
existence. . The people of the Valley
are to be congratulated over the re
sult of their long fight. "
Jonathan Bourne" Is going to Illi
nois to explain the beauties of "the
Oregon system," including the plural
ity primary and Statement One. The
true Inwardness of this "system" will
never be apparent to Jonathan until
1912, when It will most effectually
work hla undoing. He never will be
supported again by pacty loyalty.
Nominated by a minority faction in
Republican primaries, he was carried
through the election against tremen
dous opposition, by appeals to party
loyalty. The same appeal repeated
Would fail. Jonathan, two years
hence, will learn the real beauties
of plurality primaries and factional
"knifing." A faction that wins a
nomination by meager plurality vote
cannot command the party support.
In Jonathan's case it had successful
support by merest chance. That will
not happen again. . .
William Huntley, the millionaire
vice-president of the Exchange Na
tional Bank of Spokane, and Emma
V., -his wife, parents of 10. children,
finding the companionship of each
other no longer tolerable, have sep
arated the wife seeking divorce and
have effected an amicable adjustment
of their large property rights. The
cause of their marital disagreements
is not stated. Let us hope that it 13
no more grave than that depicted in
Will Carleton's verses, "Betsy and I
are out," wherein the husband an
nounced: I have no other woman.
She had no other man.
Only we've lived together
As long as ever w-e can.
The phrase "The Fool of the Fam
ily," as applied to Oregon, since the
state began all sorts- of foolish and
outre experiments, was not an inven
tion of The Oregonian, nor.- first ap
plied by The Oregonian to this state.
It appeared first In a prominent East
ern Journal and was used ' to ' utter
warning against adoption of URen's
Oregon "system" elsewhere. Descrip
tion was given of one .of the intermin
able schedules, to be voted on by the
whole population of; Oregon, few of
whom could know what they ' were
voting about. It was no miss, in the
circumstances,' to designate? Oregon
"The Fool of the Family."
Astoria adyices report the cannery
salmon pack to date about 30 per cent
ahead of that of last year, while the
cold storage pack Is about 60 per cent
ahead. This ought to spread . pros
perity among the lower river fisher
men, for the raw material is bringing
a good price, and most of the money
falls into the hands of thrifty Indi
viduals who do not spend it in the
riotous, wasteful manner which was
characteristic of the old type of
'lt. is painful to see the distress of
the local Democratic organ and some
few others throughout the state, over
the fear that assembly will divide the
Republican party, ruin' its prospects
and cause its defeat. Truly and in
deed, their distress, caused by their
solicitude for the welfare of the Re
publican party, is a most pathetic
Adminlstratlbn of public wharves,
under our political and industrial sys
tem, would be most unsuitable to
Portland, as It is to all American
cities. The business would fall at
once Into . the hands of political
shysters and labor agitators. No need
to tell the rest.- "
The spectacle " of a business man
and his wife fighting on a prominent
street, Saturday afternoon, is of such
infrequent happening in Portland
that a large crowd of onlookers gath
ered. Affairs of this nature woul
better be settled before they begin.,-
Something is added to the gaiety
of politics by efforts of a certain or
gan in Portland to parade" and ex
ploit George Brownell as .a political
reformer and as the paragon of politi
cal righteousness Tor ahe present time.
Great things have been done in Ore
gon without assembly, but thecreatest
are of a kind that would better have
been done differently. Look at the
kind of high officeholders.
Seattle must build a fence, because
Secretary Dickinson cays the colored
troops will stay at Fort Lawton. They
may be less . boisterous after the
Fourth. " ' -
Now If the black should "lick" the
white and take the bruising cham
pionship, another advance-in progress
would be scored for the white race.
v Circuit- Court Judges begin a two
months' vacation next week. Holding
court means trying times during hot
weather. ' ,
Daniel Sully's life-work was , to
amuse the world, and he succeeded.
Outside those bounds he was a failure.
Royal Anne cherries at Creswell
measure 11 to the foot. They are just
ordinary cherries, too.
' The Sixty-first was a billion-dollar
Congress; but this Is a billion-dollar
country. "
"She story of the fire oiy the packet
boat reads like old times on the Mis
sissippi. That was a Republican war vote
from, good old Polk, Saturday.
.- Hawley ' lost the Siletz game on
points, . - ' -
Say They Fear for Republican Welfare
"When the, Truth Is Reverse.
Albany Citizen.
Conservation Is ;a popular topic In these
days. Like the word ."strenuous," It has
taken a peculiar hold upon the Amer
ican people and is applied to almost
every activity of life.
In this connection it may be remarked
that the Democrats of Oregon have some
special interests to conserve. Else why
should they be so fearful of Republican
success (or failnre, as they profess to
see it)? ETjery Democratic leader in the
state seems to be in moTtal fear that
the Republicans, ere making asses of
themselves. .
Democratic 'brethren, we ' Republicans
'are prone to mistrust you. We fear that
your solicitude for our welfare Is not
wholly of the altruistic sort. We fear
that you fear that if we get together we
will succeed in electing a Republican
Governor and Republican officials gen
erally. We believe you are playing to
the grandstand. We think you are
wholly interested in the conservation of
Democratic interests.
"A "Satrare Deal" Assembly. -
Roseburg Leader.
Republicans throughout the state
are becoming thoroughly alive to the.
situation and the assemby proposition
is proving its "success and forecasting
victory to the party in November.
There has been but one contention so
far, and the unexpected happened. At
Oregon City, U'Ren presented himself
for admission by proxy and was de
nied. He remonstrated without result
and retired. He returned later and
stated that the assembly was right in
denying proxies, as he did not believe
they were proper. He then thanked
the assembly for permitting him' to
back down from his former position.
This incident proves that it is the in
tention of the 'Republicans of Oregon
to give the people of the state a
"square deal," and that U'Ren has to
admit the assembly to be 'the' proper
Democrats aa Republican Dictators.
Harrisburg Bulletin.
The assembly isn't denounced by any
I Republicans around, here so far as we
have heard. The approval of it by the
conservative element of that party Is be
coming more evident daily. It seems
that a party's own , affairs should be
governed within that party yet In the
Instance of the proposed assembly the
Democratic leaders have been the dicta
tors. Surely the Republicans are not
seeking to prevent an assembly of any
opposing party, class or clique. If the
Prohibitionists have a right to meet and
suggest a list of candidates for the vari
ous state offices, which they have al
ready done, we can't see the wrong in
any other party doing the same thing.
Southern Linn County is in favor of an
assembly for any party' that chooses to
hold one, so long as it. does not conflict
with the laws of the state regarding the
primaries. '.
Browaell's Political "Lore."
' Eugene Register.
The Register has always 'been fully
aware of Brownell's "love and sympathy"
for the people. We recall the time he
acted as chairman of the Congressional
Convention in Eugene, when he an
nounced facetiously,- "We will now pro
ceed according to programme," where
upon he pulled a "programme" from
his pocket and proceeded as announced.
Oh,-yes. George always had great sym
pathy for the people he could use to
forward his own political ambition. He
Is now working the old game on a new
tack down in Clackamas County.
Mr. Paget's Mistake.
- Dalles Optimist.
Mr. B. Lee Paget seeks to be the
mouthpiece of the Prohibitionists, and
in a communication to The Oregonian
avers that it was necessary for his
party to hold a convention, as it Is not
a party according to the terms of the
direct primary law. Mr. Paget may be
a good prohl and a good lawyer, but
he seems to forget that there Is a
provision in the law for nominating by
petition. All sorts of cranks seem to
think that It it only the Republicans
who cannot hold a convention.
Prohibition Fallacy.
The Dalles Optimist.
One thing is certain, and that is that
statewide prohibition in Oregon can never
be enforced any better than It has been
in Maine and other prohibition states. In
the City of Portland there will be more
harm done by blind pigs and clubs that
will spring up. that? Is now done by the
saloons, far more. A prohibition law never
has been enforced In a large city and
never will or can be. The Optimist still
believes in trie partial sanity of the peo
ple of Oregon, and we do not look for the
prohis to galn their ends at ,the coming
Reuniting; Republican Party.
Gervais Star.
The assembly movement Is one of abso
lute merit and as such commands atten
tion and the result will be unquestionably
for success. To reunite the Republican
party is possible but this cannot be
brought about so long as Republicans
listen to believe In- doctrines promulgated
by the Democratic press and " opposite
party follower's. The only way to reunite
the party is to reunite and keep re
united. ' One Comfort, at Least.
The Dalles Optimist.
The "faithful" have not much to expect
from Jonathan. He has filled the two
best offices at his disposal by appointing
two unknowns who have scarcely be
come citizens of the state, one as Register
of .the Land Office at Portland and one
ae Postmaster of the same city. But he
could not land Hafer. There is some
satisfaction in that. i,
Kermlt Had His Fun.
New York Sun.
The guests who left the reception
carried with them little boxes of wed
ding oeJte marked "A. R." in a gold
monogram. The crowd outside waited
patiently until 6:30, when Kermit raised
a cheer by slipping out to tie a white
satin slipper to an automobile whlch
drove up to the door. Then Mrs. Long
worth came out carrying a double hand
ful of rice and ordered a butler who
carried a bowl of telltale grain to scat
ter it liberally over the machine. Next
the bridesmaids, with plenty of rice
ammunition, lined up at the door. The
young men of the party scrambled out
on the roof of the porch and showered
the bridesmaids wii"H flowers, holding
their rice fire In reserve.
Canard on the Face of It.
Springfield. Union.
We admit that we had great confi
dence In the Associated Press, but that
was before it sent out the statement
that Roosevelt would be silent for two
months after his arrival in this coun
try. He Cant.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.'s, wedding
hat Is said to have cost 3()0. Must have
made young Teddy seriously question his
ability to support his wife In the style
to which sne has been accustomed.
The World Moves.'
Boston Trairscript." -In
times gone by when we'd convey
A task's sheer hopelessness, we'd say,
"Ton can't do that no use to try
Not any more than you can fly."
But that old phrase we've left rehlnd.
It's useless now; we've got to find
Some new comparison, by Jlnf?;
For man-flight Is a common thing.
Boston Transcript.
A Little Study of the Colonel aa aa
' Original Thinker.
Brooklyn Eagle.
The difference between sentiment
and sentimentality Is made the subject
of a letter by Mr. Roosevelt to the
London Times. The difference between
sense and sensibility aroused the con
sideration of Jane Austen. Mr. Roose
velt resolutely refused to change sen
timentality, of which he is the relent
less foe, for sentiment, to which he
declares he Is profoundly attached.
Years ago, other folk. Dan Bryant, the
minstrel, among them, learnedly
descanted on the distinction between a
horse chestnut and a chestnut horse.
These controversies do not occur
among; lexicographers. To them the
meanings of words are known and the
shades of meaning are apparent. The
controversies abound among those .who'
are less lexicographers in learning and
more than lexicographers in impor
tance. Those who read and buy books
and pamphlets outnumber those who
merely discuss the words, or the spell
ings, or the meanings of words. In
pamphlets . and in books. One never
hears of philologists wrangling over
definitions or orthography pronuncia
tion is their battleground but among
those not philologists the disputes con
cerning what words signify or how
words should be spelled are incessant.
Mr. .Roosevelt's letter to the London
Times will arouse among philologists
merely a smile, but it has already be
come the cause of discussion around
tea tables and In -family circles, wire re
the rule of the majority in petticoats
overcomes the adverse vote and the
larger knowledge of the minority In
trousers. We have no doubt that Mr.
Roosevelt's letter will make him the
Idol and the topic of "everyone who
thinks with his heart" everywhere,
Does the reader ask what's the use?
Friend, the use Is the usableness. Any
matter that can stir words, to the ex
clusion of thought. In the domestic ex
change, is not to be despised by the
multipliers of words, and cannot be
Ignored by the neutralized preferers cf
thought. Mr. Roosevelt has made him
self solid with such as will not argue,
when "they feel they are right," and
as can "cry," when they are out
argued. Besides, there was a "man
of sentiment" known to Sheridan,
though forgotten by Mr. Roosevelt. He
was named. Joseph Surface. His devo
tion to "sentiment" was verbally ex
treme. It excited the admiration of
Sir Peter Teazle at first. The disillu
sion, followed by alienation, came after
ward. Mr.- Roosevelt's letter to the
Times "was written within rifleshot of
the theater in which Sheridan devel
oped Joseph Surface and the Teazles,
but with sublime unconsciousness of
the analogy, our ex-President, who is
tne orator of the obvious, went rlsrht
on his trend of truism as if he had
hit off an absolutely novel proposi
tion. This is Mr. Roosevelt's (treat advan
tage: Nothing that ever has been said
prevents him from saying it himself.
To him It is as never said till he says it.
To him it owes its originality. ' Shakes
peare, Sheridan, Milton and any prior
otners -are nil. Kuch an idea as indors
ing them he would scorn. Such a
charge as parrotting them he would
denounce with the short and uirlv ward.
citner to oe accused of unorleinallty
or of copying would be sacrilege,' not
to say muckraking. Nothing that ever
nas Deen heretofore said and nothing
mat may nerearter be said can bn re
garded as a bar by Mr. Roosevelt on
saying it or as at all worthy of atten
tion until ne says it or may yet say It.
Philip James Bailey and Martin
Farquhar . Tupper had this same
blessed fecundity of reassimllation and
this same happy self-satlsfactoriness of
unconscious redlgestlon, but Mr. Roose
velt excels them in both.
The greatest wealth of mind Mr.
Roosevelt possesses resides In his utter
destitution of humor. For, wealth to
reside in destitution Is difficult, but
in this instance it Is as actual as the
fact that, given the same recipe and
the same Ingredients, some cooks will
fall to Impart to prepared food the
same flavor that other cooks do. It is
not in tne rirst set of cooks to An an
The second set cannot avoid doing. so.
The statesman with humor and knowl
edge makes other happy. The states
man without humor can treat all
knowledge as exclusively his own and
can rate all mankind as his kinder
garten to be instructed by him, at first
hand, out of all knowledge, which Is
also his at first hand. The statesman
with the flavor of humor can ' make
others happy. The statesman without
It Is in himself the subject of a self
made happiness that Is ineffably radi
ant ana mcomparaDiy Kooseveltlan.
Besides which every Enarlish dlctfnn
ary in the world makes sentiment on
sentimentality synonymous; hut our
xneoaore is a law, as well as a diction
ary unto himself. Just as he was a
whole Federal Constitution unto and
by himself for over seven eventful
years. We never had his like; none but
himself can be his parallel. And there
are tnose wno say we are to have him
Funeral Anti-Climax . of Irish Digni
taries and Irish Terrier.
' New York Post.
The depths of antl-cllmax were onunderl
by the London correspondent of the Mon
treal bxar in' his account of King Ed
ward's funeral. Having enumerated the
British dignitaries who followed the
coffin, he feels stirred to a bit of politi
cal philosophizing:
Looking at this wonderful list of names,
do you observe how many are Irish, from
Roberts and Kitchener at the head of the
army, downwards? Even King Edward's
mournful little terrier was Irish.
Here is justification - enough for the
charge that It takes an Englishman to
go the limits of sentimentality once he
gets started. The incident of the 'little
Irish terrier was pretty and pathetic, but
the floods of emotional gush it has- let
loose In the United Kingdom and the do
minions beyond the sea, have more than
drowned all the beauty and all the pathos
out of the Incident. The Times has
printed letters about the little Irish ter
rier that were fairly deluged with tears.
It was not loyalty: it was hysterics. For
all their exurberance one can hardly
Imagine Frenchmen "slopping over" in
this altogether absurd fashion.
"Vandalism of the Laundry.
New Tork Herald.
A fortune awaits some genius who will
invent a new method of marking clothes
sent to the laundry a washable, remova
ble tag, or something of the sort. The
present system is unsightly and ruinous.
Nothing is spared, from the daintiest
dolly to the kitchen towel. In" fact, the
finest fabrics do not escape the hiero
glyphics of the marker's stencil, pencil,
or whatever device ho uses m this deco
rative work.
The Dingy Kitchen.
Columbus Journ al.
It Is a poor home that has a dark and
dingy kitchen. Food absorbs not only
the material conditions that surround It,
but the spiritual conditions as well. A
gloomy kitchen makes a gloomy heart,
and a gloomy heart never can make a
pudding or a pie worth eating. It Is said
that some women who are trying to re
form the world have dingy kitchens. They
will never do it.
And Both Were on Time, Too,
Everybody's Magazine.
"What member of the class can men
tion one memorable date in Roman his
tory?" the teacher asked.
"Antony's with Cleopatra," ventured
one of the boya,
Little Mildred is In her first term at
school where she gets reports "as to her
standing marked on a decimal scale.
One hundred is perfect and 60 is pretty
serious. The other night while saying
her evening prayers, her spirits, always
high, were actually irrepressible, and
her petition was "punctuated with
snickers and smothered giggles." - '
"Do you think the Lord will like that-
kind of a prayer?" asked her mother,
"Nope," returned Mildred glibly.
Not much! He'll gimme 'bout 60 on
that!" Woman's Home Companion.
A scientist attached to one of -Uncle
Sam's bureaus at Washington found
himself, at, a dinner given by a Federal
official, next to a vivacious young
woman from the West, who. being
aware of the attainments of her dis
tinguished companion, endeavored to
"draw him out" with respect to his
views concerning certain recent
achievements in bis line.
After a bit, the professor was" in
duced, somewhat against his will, to
talk "shop," and Incidentally ex- ,
plained very carefully and elaborately
to the young person an experiment
tending to show that life can be pro
duced in sterilized bouillon by theac
tion of radium. .
The professor warmed up a bit.
"Think of it!" he exclaimed. "What a
train of thought Is aroused by this ex
periment! Why, it may have happened
in this world of ours millions of years
"Yes, Indeed," assented the yrffeng
lady, visibly impressed, but a little In
credulous. "Of course I understand
that there may have been radium the'n.
but where did they get the beef tea?"
The late John J. Ingalls, United
States Senator from Kansas, once told
with great glee the story of a joke at
his own expense, the humor of which,
however, he enjoyed as keenly as if he
had not been the victim of it.
"I went one evening," said. Mr. In
galls, "to make a political speech in a
small town. I presume the people
thought I would have difficulty in fill
ing an hour; at any rate, they called
upon the village choir to assist.
"I trust that the hymns were selected
before my arrival, but of that I cannot
be sure. I know that before the talk
the choir sang, "What Shall the Har
vest Ber and after It, 'Nothing v but
Leaves.' " Youth's Companion.
Rear-Admiral Purnell.F. Harrington.
TJ. S. N., retired, tells a story which
would Indicate that Theodore Roose
velt was himself convinced of the fact
that had there never been a war be
tween the United States and Spain the
Colonel of the Rough Riders would
never have been President of the
United States. Admiral Harrington.,
then a commahder, was in command of
the monitors Terror and Puritan in the
Spanish war, and it was after he be
came va Rear-Admiral several years
later, and after Mr. Roosevelt became
President, that the conversation that
follows occurred.
"I was the commandant of the Nor
folk navy yard." said Admiral Harring
ton, "when President Roosevelt visited
the yard. I, of course,, escorted the
President, and in the course of the tour
he noticed that there werS' a number
of battleships In the yard.
"'What ships are those, Admiral T
the President asked. I told him- the
names, and then remarked:
" 'Had we had those ships In 1897.
Mr. President, there never would have
been any war with Spain."
"That is very true,' replied Presi
dent Roosevelt, 'and had we had them
I would not Be here today. " Wash
ington Post.
Ln-w Requires Him to Ask. Hla Wife
What She Won't Answer.
Springfield Republican.
George Bernard Shaw, in the charac
ter of the plutocratic Socialist, has just
become the hero of one of the most amus
ing of all his comedies. The intricacies
of the Income tax provide the plot. The
law regards the Income of a married
woman as part of her husband's, income
and requires him to give full particulars
concerning it. But Mr. Shaw has no
means' of ascertaining his wife's Income,
except by asking her. She, being a con
sistent and resolute euffragette, refuses.
The law gives him no means of com
pelling her. Therefore, all ha can do la
to report to. the Income Tax Commis
sioners his wife's name and address and
leave it to them to ascertain the amount
of her income. That they can do. But,
having done so, they are forbidden by
law to impart the information to him.
Yet if he does not get that information
somehow he may be sent to prison. And
there is no use in his appealing to his
wife to give him- the information to save
him from jail, because there is nothing
In which a suffragette glories more than
Imprisonment for principle's Bake; and
If a suffragette gladly goes to Ja'I her
self, she will the more gladly see her
husband sent thither. Obviously, O. B.
S. is in an awkward fix, out of which,
however, we shall hope to see proceed
a play in the best Shavian style.
. Polndexter's Big Job.
"Vancouver Independent.
Poindexter has planned a big Job. Be
sides endeavoring to defeat Wilson,
Burke, Ashton and Humphries for the
nomination of United States Senator, he
proposes to defeat Congressmen Mc
Credla and Humphreys for re-election
this Fall and? is laying the ropes to get
Senator Jones later on. This looks lute
quite a big Job for one lone Congressman.
Jones, MoCredie and Humphreys all have
friends in the State of Washington who
are not apt to assist Mr. Poindexter In
his ambition to eliminate these men and
promote himself to the head of the Con
gressional delegation from this state. It
would be a nice thing to be. elected.
United States Senator and at the same
time be able to name all the Congress
men and other Senators. This is a Job
equal to any that Aldrlch would under
take and even Joe Cannon has never at
tempted it.
As Viewed In Chicago.
Chicago Record-Herald.
"A Brooklyn judge says all women are
not angels."
'He ought to study English composi
tion." "What has English composition got to
do with It?"
"The Judge evidently meant to say that
not all women are angels. In this I agree
with him. I have two ex-wives who are
still living."
.- "Do you mean still living or living
"No, I mean living yet."
Amending; the Sngecstlon.
Newberg Graphic.
The Woodburn Independent 'fays the
Republican state assembly should "sug
gest" at least two to succeed Sesator
Bomrne. The Independent evidently . has
a higher opinion of our Jonathan's abili
ties as a statesman than 6eems current.
If it is merely a case of filling the
vacancy some would be cruel enough to
suggest that the mere choice of ialf a
man, would be sufficient.
Only Two Viewpoints.
Philadelphia North American.
Here in the United States there Is no
middle ground "6n which men . stand
I viewing Theodore Roosevelt. Dispas
sionate impartiality disappears as soon
as his name is mentioned. E'ery cit
izen is fervently for him or jrofanely
against him.