10
THE MORNING OREGOyiAN, TUESDAY, MAT 3 , 1910.
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PORTLAND. TUESDAY, MAY 81, " 1810.
POSTAL, BANKS IN SKiHT.
The postal savings bank bill, whose
passage is now virtually assured, will
toe an exceedingly popular measure
almost without regard to its minor
provisions. The need of such institu
tions is so deeply felt by -the public
and the demand for them Is so wide
and persistent that it would have been
a fatal blunder for Congress to neglect
to carry out the provision of the last
Republican National platform in favor
of them. There never has been any
substantial opposition to postal savings
banks except from some of the bank
ers, and on their part it was ill
informed and extremely selfish. These
bankers imagined that their Interests
would in some way.be injured by the
postal banks; but they never have
shown how this could possibly happen,
and they have never refuted the argu
ments of those who have favored the
Innovation. As a matter of fact, the
dislike of the organized bankers to
the postal bank bill was as short
sighted as it was groundless and it
has now been largely withdrawn. The
fact that they have at last perceived
the harmlessness of the postal banks
to their own business is creditable to
the candor and intelligence of the
bankers even if it is a little belated.
In Congress the main difficulties in
arranging the details of the bill have
arisen over the problem of disposing
of the deposits. Where shall they be
placed for safekeeping? Shall they be
invested in Government bonds or other
securities? Shall they be poured into
the Insatiate maw of the Wall street
Institutions to swell the vast bubble of
speculation? Multitudes of questions
of this sort have been asked during
the pendency of the bill and now most
of them have been answered and, upon
the whole, answered in a manner that
will please the country. It has been
substantially agreed that the Federal
Treasury shall hold 5 per cent of the
deposits as a reserve, while of the
remainder one-half shall be invested
In Government bonds and one-half
shall remain on deposit in local banks.
Perhaps this is the best possible dispo
sition to- make of the matter, but it is
difficult to understand why so large
a proportion of the funds should be
Invested in Government bonds. It is
commonly known, however, that these
securities are 'something of a white
elephant on the hands of the National
bankers at present, and perhaps this
way of disposing of a large quantity
has had something to do with ap
peasing the opposition of the bankers'
association to the postal measure. If
such a trade has been made the coun
try will gain by it, though clearly the
; proper place for the deposits of the
postal savings banks is . in the chan
nels of local business.
There is comfort, however, in the
reflection that in all likelihood the
local banks will find that their 47 4
per cent of the deposits in the postal
banks will come to them as if it had
been created out of nothing. "Very
little money that is now on deposit
In the ordinary banks will be trans
ferred to the postoffice, while large
sums which are in hoarding will toe
haled forth and put into the processes
of trade. These sums will be like an
addition to the circulating medium of
the country, and the bankers more
than anybody else will get the benefit
of them. They ought not to com
plain, therefore, even if their propor
tion of the savings deposits looks a
little meager. A scant half of the loaf
is a good deal better than no bread,
and without postal banks, so far as
these hoarded funds are concerned,
there will be no bread. They will re
main in hiding.
When all is said, however, it were
. to. be wished that more of the postal
v bank deposits might be left in local
institutions. The Government does
not need to take this method to keep
up the credit of its bonds. There are
plenty of people who would be glad
to buy them if they were put on the
market, no matter how small an in
come they produce. On the other
hand, the system of investing the pos
tal deposits in Government securities
will tend in the long run to interest
multitudes of citizens directly in the
stability of the Government. It will
make thousands of humble people
shareholders, so to speak, in the bonds
of the Nation, and thus will very likely
create something of that economic
; patriotism which both France and
i England have found so useful in times
of stress.
In a large way the most striking
utility of the postal banks will consist
in their power to prevent panics. When
people become suspicious of the sta
bility of the ordinary banks, they will
seek to withdraw their money and
place it In the postoffice. Under the
provisions of the bill the postoffice
must forthwith replace at least 47
per cent of it where it came from. If
the proportion were largar, the forti
fying effect would be still greater, but
obviously even this arrangement must
help appreciably to strengthen the
local banks. As matters now stand,
the funds which are withdrawn from
the banks in time of distrust are im
mediately hoarded, and none of them
go back into business until the panic
has run its devastating course and all
its mischief has been completed. The
advantage of the new system is im
. pressive. The only mystery connected
with the matter is that any sane
banker should ever have opposed what
from every point of view must re
dound to the advantage of his business.
It is said that the farmers of Cali
fornia, in desperation for help to har
vest their crops, are turning to Jap
anese labor as their only source of re
lief. Yet all agree that the Chinese,
against whom there was such a furi
ous uprising a quarter of a century
ago in California, are superior to Jap
anese In almost every class of farm
labor. The truth is, farmers and.or
chardists must have help. The fam
ine in the labor world does not apply
to the farmers of California alone. It
is general throughout the land. t Men
are needed everywhere to bear a hand
in the harvest. Those who stand idly
upon the street corners, disclaiming
against Oriental labor, will not do the
work that needs to be done that must
be done if the Nation is to be fed.
Japanese or Chinese, which shall it be
when our sorely pressed farmers and
fruitgrowers enter the labor market
seeking?
TRUTH ABOUT ASSEMBLY.
Here 1 the demand for the so-called
advisory assembly coming from the dis
gruntled and discredited elements of ma
chine politics. They do not represent Ih
political party which has tolerated them al
most to Its ruin and now has done with
them. From a Correspondent's Letter In
the Salem Statesman.
This is the kind of . stuff put forth
by the opponents of assembly
throughout the state. The assertion
is not true. It is so far from truth
that it la wholly false in statement and
in implication. It is an exact reversal
of facts known to every observer of
political conditions in Oregon.
The inspiration for an assembly
comes from the great body of the Re
publican party that recognizes the ut
terly helpless and demoralized condi
tion of the party, and seeks to find an
effective method of party harmony
and party action. These Republicans
have an interest in the "Republican
party for its own sake, for through the
Republican party they believe that the
public welfare generally may best be
promoted. That is the reason they
are Republicans.
Who opposes an assembly? Jt is
the "disgruntled and discredited ele
ments of machine politics.". It is the
Democratic party, which hopes for
continued Democratic success through
Republican dissension and impotence.
It is the Bourne faction, which has al
lied itself with the. Republican party
solely for what there is in It for them
selves. The Bourne faction cannot
control a Republican assembly any
where. Therefdre they are against
assembly.
The truth as to who are advocates
and who are opponents of assembly
may easily be ascertained by any one.
The persistent effort to misrepresent
ought not to succeed and will not suc
ceed. PROTECTING HIS HOME.
The St. Paul man, E. J. Gibbon, who
shot his wife and a priest "to protect
his home," might have found methods
of accomplishing his desire less spec
tacular and possibly more effective.
He might, for example, have tried the
results of keeping sober. For three
days before he became so deeply im
pressed with the necessity of protect
ing his home that he felt obliged to
commit a double murder he was re
covering from a spree in a drink-cure
sanitarium. Whom did he expect to
look after the welfare of his family
while he was drunk? Of course , he
expected his wife to do it, and evi
dently his romantic masculine pride
could be satisfied with nothing else
than for her to take in washing for a
livelihood. '
It has often been noticed, that de
graded wretches like Gibbon who are
themselves too besotted to earn, a liv
ing for the family are never jealous
as long as their wives are busy at the
washtub. But let the poor woman
who is tied to one of these vile crea
tures make the acquaintance of any
man who is able and willing to lighten
her toil and -somewhat lessen the bur
den of her misery, and then there is
trouble.
The husband's manly pride at once
takes alarm. His sensitive soul rises
in arms at the thought that any other
man should presume to intrude on his
preserves. It makes no difference how
innocent the intrusion may be. The
priest who was shot by Gibbon was,
according to the accounts, one of the
best men in the world, with no thought
of doing wrong when he tried to assist
Gibbon's wife. But the miserable sot
chose to imagine that in some way
the good priest had wronged him. The
evidence of the wrong, we suppose,
was the fact that Mrs. Gibbon, was
not obliged to go out scrubbing for
her daily bread. As long 'as his wife
is at the tub or kneeling over a scrub
bing brush, the ordinary drunkard
feels that his honor is perfectly safe.
He can lie in jail or snooze at a san
itarium for sots in sweet peace, for
he knows that nothing can impair his
honor as long as his wife is a .broken
down drudge. It is the thought that
she has found a way to live a decent
life in spite of his swinishness that
drives the sot to desperation.
NEED OF STRENGTH AT SEA.
The United States is bound to keep
up with the sea powers of the world,
the thalassocrats who pit their ener
gies against each other in displays of
national defense and assert themselves
first among the earth's governing
forces. The rulers of the sea have al
ways been the strong and invulnerable
nations; and ability of a people to sup
ply the means of sea power has always
been the test of defense against ag
grandizing rivals and of .offense
against rival injustice. "
This country will add to its Navy
two super-Dreadnoughts each year,
according to a programme of the Pres
ident as approved by the two houses
of Congress. Each of these immense
fighting machines will cost between
$11,000,000 and $15,000,000. The
amount of treasure and of National
energy that will go into these battle
ships will be enormous. The same
effort turned toward improvement of
rivers and harbors, construction of
roads, reclamation of arid land or
amelioration of disease and poverty
would accomplish great things. But
this country must assert its power at
sea, and to this end must provide the
means of upholding that power.
The nations would save themselves
much waste of economic resource, of
course, by disarming and quitting the
business of 'building great fighting
ships. But as nations now vie with
each other and as they are likely to
continue doing 'so for indefinite time,
it is idle to talk of disarmament. The
strongest nations will not cease up
building their sea power and the
weaker, that cannot keep up the
strain, must fall back, as they alwravs
have done, to -places where they are
subservient to the international justice
and square deal that more powerful
neigl.bors wish to give. These ideas
of. justice and- square deal are what
the strongest nation chooses to make
them and power at sea has always
been the means of dictatine them. The
United States thought it right and
proper to wage offensive war against
Spain, but Spain and other nations of
Europe took, altogether different view
of the matter. The United States be
lieves that it should expel any ag
grandizing nation of Europe from the
two Americas, but the peoples of Eu
rope look upon that question from an
opposite point of view. This country
regards Japan as sornewhac of a self
ish aggressor in Manchuria, but Japan
looks upon its expansion in the Orient
as necessary and therefore right.
The thalassocrats of the world will
talk disarmament, but keep on build
ing ships just the same. The United
States has no choice but to continue
adding to its naval strength, if it
would command respect for its ideas
of international square deal.- That has
been the text of many a Roosevelt
sermon, and it will be the text of
many a homily hereafter. This coun
try cannot be a power for good in the
world without a great Navy.
THE INDIAN HEATHEN.
The General Assembly of the Pres
byterian Church has decided that the
American Indian is the greatest
heathen. In a Home Mission report,
read at the Assembly, it was stated
"with only 300,545 Indians in the
United States exclusive of Alaska,
there is a larger per cent of heathen
unenlightened by the gospel among
this people than among any other
element of American population." The
report notes that there is really no
Sabbath in Alaska, "with steamers
large and small calling in port and
the industries and mines running seven
days in the week." Prior to the com
ing of the white man, the Indian got
along fairly well with a religion of
his own. In his belief in a Great
Spirit, the Indian with the untutored
mind "sees God in storms and hears
him in the wind."
It may be that the Indian remains
a heathen because the white man- fails
to offer him as attractive a form of
religion as that of which he is de
prived. In his primitive state the
"untutored" mind of the Indian Vwas
never taught to stray, far as the solar
walks or Milky Way," but his morals
and manners averaged up well with
those of some of the followers of
modern creeds. The difficulty .in in
ducing an Indian to change from the
belief of his fathers lies largely in
the inability of modern religion to
offer him any tangible benefits by the
change. A very bright Vancouver
Island Indian girl in an attempted ex
cuse fcr the wayward life she was
leading, said:
They took me away " from my parents and
my tribe and practically forced me to learn
the religion and the civilization of the
whites. I was happy and- care-free until
this experience with the customs and re
ligion of the whites showed me what an
enormous gulf lay between tbem and the
customs and religion of the Indiana I saw
enojigh of the whites to make me dissatis
fied with the old life In the wigwam, but I
also recognized the Impossibility. In my
short life, of ever changing the customs of
my people. These well-meaning Christians
awakened In me hopes that could never be
fulfilled, and they transformed me from a
happy Indian girl Into a dissatisfied being
who was neither Indian nor white.
There are human affections and
instincts in the wigwam as well as in
the palace. Whin the family and
friends of these artificially civilized
and converted Indian girls realize the
unhappiness the change has brought
on those they love,, they can hardly be
blamed for failing to be enthusiastic
over the religion of the white man.
Commander Peary found among the
Far Northern tribes an absolute lack
of any knowledge of the religious be
liefs of the whites. In this state of
delightful ignorance he, also found
happy people with a code of. morals
as good as those of the whites, and
much more universally observed.
Peary has been criticised for his fail
ure to do a little missionary work, but
it would have 'been cruelty to a happy
peace-loving people to attempt the
change. '
IF OREGON GOES DRY.
Vancouver, Wash., has high hope
that Oregon, this coming Fall, will
vote in favor of prohibition, Vancou
ver looks for such a result to double
and quadruple the value of real estate
there and cause the city to build rap
idly. :
The State of Washington ' will
never declare for prohibition as a state
issue. .The activity of the people and
the number of large cities and con
siderable towns will prevent that re
sult. The town of Vancouver itself
only a short time ago threw a heavy
majority against prohibition. In the
State of Washington municipalities de
cide this question for themselves. So
It ought to be in . Oregon.
FIFTY-THOUSAND TON STEAMER.
The fact that the Cunard Steamship
Company was obliged to report no
dividend on last year's business has
not prevented this oldest of the great
trans-Atlantic lines from continuing
the struggle for supremacy in - the
passenger traffic between the old
world and the new. When the Lusl
tania and Mauretania won the speed
pennant, which had been held by the
marvelous Deutschland for- nearly a
dozen years, the Germans apparently
abandoned the contest for speed. Al
though three years have elapsed since
it was known that the Deutschland's
record would be beaten by the British
scorchers, no attempt has been made
to produce a challenger in the way of
speed. The Germans, however, had
achieved such success with their
monster eight-day boats of the "Amer
ika" type that they apparently de
cided to meet the British competition
with . larger and more comfortable
boats than the express steamers which
are built more for speed than comfort.
Before the Lusitania and Maure
tania were clear of the builders' ways,
the Germans were at work on the
plans for a 45,000-ton steamer. This"
vessel, now, under construction, is
10,000 tons greater than the Cunard
record-breakers, but the speed will be
nearly eight knots an hour slower than
the Lusitania and her sister ship. But
the Cunard line with its eight-day
boats, the Caronia and Carmania, has
learned that a large proportion of the
traveling public prefers the slower
ships of great tonnage to the long,
lean racers, which, driven at top speed,
are such admirable producers of "mal
de mer." To meet this demand which
prefers comfort to speed, and to en
able it to retain its present prestige as
owner of the largest ship in the world,
the Cunard line is now arranging for
a 50-000-ton ship to cost atjnroxlmaxe
ly $6,500,000 and to have a speed of
22 knots an hour. This is about four
knots slower than the Lusitania and
Mauretania, and about four knots
faster than the most popular steamers
of the German lines.
Trans-Atlantic travel is increasing
so rapidly that it is almost a foregone
conclusion that the coming 50,000
tonner will not long remain the, sole
representative of its type. Not only
is there great rivalry between the
British and the German lines, but
there is also keen competition between
the. various lines operating under the
same flag. The Cunard's chief British
rival, the White Star line, has appar
ently abandoned the speed contest, but
is now actually building two 45,000
ton steamers, the Olympia and Ti
tanic, which will be ready for service
next year, and will bring to tne line
for a brief period the prestige-of own
ing the largest ships in the world.
Just where the competition will end
is difficult to predict. Twenty years
ago, an increase of 1000 tons in the
size of a ship, or the fraction of a
knot in speed, -was regarded as mar
velous. Now they are breaking speed
records by two or three knots an hour,
and the ships are increasing in size
by EOOO-ton leaps. The length of the
White Star monsters is 840 feet. The
new Cunarders will be nearly 900 feet
long." These, dimensions make the old
Great Eastern seem so small by com
parison that one cannot well doubt
that the 1000-foot steamer is much
nearer' at hand than was thought
possible a few years ago.
It is probably a good thing for Mr.
Morgan that he has selected cotton
instead of wheat as a commodity with
which to wreak his vengeance on Mr.
Patten. - The . world's cotton crop is
produced in a comparatively limited
area. Wheat is quite generally grown
throughout-the world; the harvest of
one country trails into that of another
almost without interruption. The av
erage wheat yield of the world is about
3,250,000.000 bushels, and, as the
world's prices for the past two years
have not fallen much short of $1 a
bushel. It would somewhat strain even
the resources of Mr. Morgan to corner
the world's crop. While the bears
have undoubtedly put a deep dent in
the Patten -bank roll, it is too early to
assume that the most successful grain
speculator the country has yet pro
duced, is a candidate for the down-and-out
club. Mr. Morgan might do
well to stick to his stock Juggling, and
keep his fingers out of cotton and
wheat, with -which he has had but
little experience.
The Sell wood man who held out $2
of his weekly wage, telling his wife he
was held up by an officer for riding
on the sidewalk, has the right kind
of helpmeet. She went to police head
quarters at once and. learned-of the
man's duplicity. The incident, how
ever, leads to a line of thought.' What
figure should a man's pay reach when
he will be Justified in keeping his wife
in ignorance of the amount? Some wo
men are so constituted that the habit
of wanting all grows upon what it is
fed and thrives apace. Such greed
must be repressed, of course, but the
wife will get the information in the
end, for in matching wits mere man
is an amateur. For the old ones there
is little hope of relief, but the young
husband can start right and keep her
in blissful ignorance of her resources
until in a moment, of marital sub
lunacy he' gives the whole thing away.
Henceforth and forever he is a do
mestic trailer.
An empty fishing boat, washed up
on the beach near Fort Canby with no
trace of the men who manned It when
it left the cannery, marks the first
fishing fatality of the season. An im
proved class of fishermen, less whisky
drinking, and better channels at the
mouth of the river have materially cut
down the annual toll that the sea has
always levied on the Columbia River
fishing fleet. Never a season comes,
however, without some reckless or
unlucky fisherman tempting fate a
little too far and making his last drift
through the breakers into another
world.
"Why should any one care where the
Drexels go on their wedding journey?
Whose business is it but their own?
The two incidents in life which people
of any and every station should be al
lowed to arrange In detail according
to their own ideas are weddings and
funerals. The prying multitude, goggle-eyed
with curiosity, has no place
at either.
Alfred Austin's robust health at the
age of -75 years proves how much
more conducive to longevity a prosaic,
unimaginative- temperament is than
poetic fire and fury. Keats, Shelley,
Byron, all died young, and they were
poets. The laureate of England, who
never wrote any poetry in his life and
never will, is hale and hearty at 75.
Bribery confessions are quite the
rage in Illinois. We welcome each
new one with joy as long as they are
all genuine, but what a terrible thing
it would be if the. lust for fame should
tempt some Illinois Democrat to aver
that he had received a share of Mr.
Lorimer's money when in truth he
wasn't thought worth buying. -
People who complain of the slow de
velopment of aviation forget how
many thousand years it took to trans
form fhe floating log on which the
primitive savage paddled around the
bay into an Atlantic liner. While we
are waiting for something better, Cur
tiss' flight from Albany to New York
is a passable makeshift.
Dr.' Samuel Bailey, of Mount Ayr,
Iowa, speaking before the Iowa State
Horticultural Society, says that the use
of apples as an article of diet will di
minish and ultimately abate the appe
tite for alcoholic stimulants. Another
advertisement for the Oregon apple.
Mayor Fawcett, of Tacoma, saved
the city $18,000 a year by reducing
salaries of city officials. Up to the
hour of going to press, no news has
been received of any of the affected
officeholders resigning.
Our Jeff, not the Californian, may
depend on all the Democratic votes in
Oregon.' Still, if he wants to sit in the
Governor's chair, he will have to run
as a non-partisan. George did it.
Everybody should fly a flag next
week. The happiest combination of
color that ever was cannot hurt the
bloom of the roses.
The deposed Shah of Persia is
studying surgery in Russia. If he ever
gets back on the Job, he will do some
sleek beheading.
If that comet does not soon wrap
its diaphanous tail about itself and
disappear it will be' caught for a pic
ture show.
The railway postal clerk who stole
money to aid in his musical education
will make a good member of the zebra
band. '
Jealousy, fomented by liquor, often
makes mistakes. The hangman never
dr
HARASSING OREGOST SETTLERS.
Let CorerameDt Torn Special Agents
Into A ldM, Not Obstructionists.
PORTLAND. May 30. (To the Editor.)
In view of some evidence in your col
umns recently from Washington indicat
ing returning sanity on the part of the
Land Department in dealing with actual
settlers on the public domain, I feel en
couraged to offer a few suggestions
which, backed by the circulation and
powerful support of The Oregonian, may
result In a ' still closer study by the
Washington officials of the rights of set
tlers and the extension of a helpful and
encouraging hand to them instead ' of
harassing, annoying and . frightening
them.
An earnest and all-embracing invita
tion has been promulgated by the Gov
ernment for years to the citizens of this
country, native and foreign born, to go
out and make homes upon the unoccupied
lands. That Invitation has had a more
alluring influence during the past few
years ef high living In the cities than
since the days following the Civil War,
and the great areas of Central Oregon
have been the Mecca to which the land
hungry masses have come. But In the
face of that insistent and persistent in
vitation, .what has been the policy of land
department administration? An army of
detectives has been organized under the
name of "special, agents," supported by
an Immense appropriation, who have pro
ceeded upon the apparent theory that as
soon as the citizen accepts the invitation
of the Government, . enters a piece of
land and pays the legal fees thereon, he
at once becomes a liar, .thief and per
jurer, whose" every movement must be
watched by the hired sleuths of the de
partment, lest he sleep a night away
from his homestead and thus injure, de
stroy and upset Uncle Sam's entire struc
ture! Those new homesteaders the blazers
of the trail of American progress are
sometimes located miles from neighbors,
distant from mall service, perhaps short
of means, cut off from all the pleasurable
associations of life, many of them not
versed in practical agricultural pursuits
or informed as to the real nature of the
soil and climate surrounding them. Is
their lot not -a tough one? Is the Gov
ernment Injured if those men work a
part of the year to obtain the means of
subsistence and -of improving their land?
Does it make any difference to the Gov
ernment whether they are employed one
mile or 50 miles away from their claims,
provided that is the home upon which
their earnings and energies are ex
pended? I am reliably informed that the policy
of the "special agent" brigade is to go
into a homestead community and dig up
contest cases on the merest pretense and
by the aid of the worst characters in
the community fellows who are ever
ready to make trouble and whose testi
mony in a home court would not convict
a mangy dog. Or the "special" goes to
some fellow whose own course leaves
him liable to trouble and gives him to
understand that the only way he can save
himself from such trouble is to "come
through" with evidence against the neigh
bor whom the agent wishes to cinch.
Such is the system under which great
stacks of "contests" have been piled up
in Washington, upon which to base a
demand for big appropriations through
which the gang can be supported and
perpetuated.
Every man In the department knows
this thing; Is true as outlined and yet
It la ttllOTred. How long will the Amer
ican people stand for it?
L The suggestion I wish to offer is this:
Let the department, at Washington di
vert the appropriation for special agents
to the employment of men versed in the
study of practical agriculture and send
them . out to homesteading districts to
give needed information regarding soil
and adaptable crops; to explain methods
of irrigation and of conserving water;
to encourage the homesteader and desert
entryman in the ways leading to success;
to display the confidence and the interest
of the Government in his .welfare, . and
then you will have , a class of settlers
with some ambltloin to make homes, to
stay with the soil and to have a pride
In this work. And there will be no
frauds or attempted frauds that cannot
be headed off by the local land office
officials.
There never was a greater curse to
development of the unsettled lands than
the "special agent" system. There never
was a greater departure from American
principles than the adoption of this Eu
ropean espionage system. It is keeping
thousands from Oregon's unsettled val
leys and it is breeding an unrest among
good citizens and fostering a sentiment
that will make parts of this state as
unhealthy for the special agent as it is
said parts of Ireland were 25 years ago for
the same class of fellows under land
lord control. JAMES R. SHELDON.
Men "Without a Party..
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Of course. It 'is entirely within the
personal rights of any Representative
to refuse to go into the Republican
caucus, called to consider the postal
savings bank bill. But the "Insur
gents" who are holding aloof still
claim to be Republicans, we believe.
They are not taking the right steps
to prove their claim.
"The Republican party, through its
National convention, promised postal
savings banks. The Republican Presi
dent urges them. They liave become a
party policy. .
If the insurgents will not openly Join
the Democrats, with whom they are
flirting and usually acting, and if they
refuse to -march with the Republican
band, what position do they occupy?
Plainly, they are men without a par'y.
Reflections of a Bachelor.
New York Press.
Anyhow, engagements aren't as ex
pensive as automobiles.
Some men are not to be believed
when they tell the truth any more than
when they don't.
If a woman can't find anything else
to brag about her husband, she'll do it
about how he hates to have her do it.
One good thing about a man's having
a lot of children is he never has any
worry to spare on how the Government
Is run.
Her Game.
Houston Post.
"Your father despises that young man
you are engaged to."
"I know it, and bo do I."
"Then why in the world are you going
to marry him?"
"I wouldn't marry him if he was the
last man on earth."
"Then why "
"Dad will buy me off with an electric
runabout in a few days."
Relict-Ins; the Dullness.
Houston Post.
Roosevelt has been bitterly attacked
by an animal lover in London and it
now looks as if he would have a per
fectly corking time, after all. Things
were getting awfully dull for him on
account of that funeral.
HERE IS CEMENT PIPE PROOF
Clay Tube Falls In Competition With It
In Irrigation Service.
PORTLAND,. May 30. (To the Edi
tor.) I read your editorial "Fighting
the Clay-Pipe Trust," in The Oregonian
Saturday with a good deal of Interest,
for I know a llltle something about the
relative merits of clay and cement pipe,
as I think most people do who have
ever lived In an irrigated district where
water is conveyed by pipe lines.
Before the Mayor signs the ordinance
giving the clay-pipe people the exclu
sive right to lay sewer pipe, I would
suggest that he confer with engineers
from some of the reclamation projects.
Government or private, and find out
what success they have had with vari
ous kinds of pipe. Let him go still
deeper and inquire why it is' that the
Government uses cement pipe exclu
sively, even in sizes up as high as 84
inches in diameter, as it has done at
Hermiston. Let him inquire of Irving
Worthington, late of Irrigon but now
of Medford, what success he had in
conveying water to the former place
through 14-inch pipe made by this same
clay-pipe trust. Mr. Worthington will
say that he had to discard the clay
pipe, and use cement pipe in its place,
and that there are now in use in the
Irrigon district many miles of cement
pipe, and with perfect satisfaction,
while most of'the clay pipe shipped
there by the clay-pipe trust was either
shipped away after being tested and
rejected, or is still lying there unused
and unfit for use.
There is a pipe line of some 3000 feet
just to the east of Irrigon, leading from
the main ditch down to the river. I
think this pipe is 24 inches in diam
eter. It was supplied by the clay-pipe
trust, and was to stand a pressure of
20 pounds, but it broke so often under
a much lower pressure that the com
pany, putting it in never paid for it.
and never will. It was absolutely unfit
for the purpose for which it was sold.
I note-that the Council was led astray
by tests made where unseasoned ce
ment pipe was used, which must have
been the case, for any person who has
ever had any experience well knows
that cement pipe is superior in every
way to clay pipe, and also that it is
cheaper.
I maintain that if the Mayor or any
member of the Council had a mile of
sewer pipe to lay at his own expense
on his own land he would not for a
moment think of using clay pipe, for
he would investigate the matter, and
even the slightest investigation would
show the cement pipe to be far the bet
ter and the the cheaper.
I believe the Mayor and tl-e Council-men-are
honest, and that they are act
ing from the best motives, but they
have failed to Investigate the matter
for themselves and have the words of
interested parties at too high a value."
I honestly believe I am sure that if
the members of the Council would
make an investigation themselves, fair
and impartial, they would utterly re
ject clay pipe for all time to come.
An you well say in your editorial.
Mr. Editor, the Council acted too
hastily. They did not, I believe, under
take to favor anybody, but they did
commit a great wrong unintentionally,
and the Mayor should rlng the matter
back to them by a veto. If he does this
I feel sure there will never be any clay
pipe used hereafter in the sewer build
ing of this city.-
Such action will not only save the
present generation a good deal of
money by a reduction in the original
cost of sewers, but it will save future
generations still larger s-ums, for I do
not think any person claims that the
clay pipe will last anywhere near as
long as cement pipe.
ADDISON BENNETT.
CITY MAY REGULATE BILLBOARDS
Missouri Supreme Court Renders De
cision of Interest to Portland.
St. Paul Pioneer Press.
The Supreme Court of the State of
Missouri has rendered a decision in a
billboard case that is of much interest in
every city where more or less successful
attempts have been made to regulate the
use of such advertising displays. The
Supreme Court held not only that a city
has a right to regulate the use of bill
boards but that the practice is a legiti
mate subject for state control.
St. Louis has suffered more than most
cities from abuses by the billboard oper
ators. Until recently the city tolerated
three-decker boards, and but little effort
was made to regulate either the size or
location of the boards. The billboard
business of the city amounted to $500,000
a year on which the company owning
the privilege paid a nominal tax of $2500.
The billboard company questioned the
right of the city to restrict its operations
and flaunted its garish offenses in the
face of the public. The case Just decided
arose over the refusal of the company
to comply with the terms of a recently
enacted ordinance regulating the busi
ness of the company.
Under the new ordinance, sustained by
the courts, the billboards are not allowed
to stand more than 14 feet above the
ground, nor closer than 15 feet to the
sidewalk; they must provide two feet of
clear space at the bottom, must not run
more than 50 feet in length and must not
rest on the top of roofs or cover the front
of buildings.
These restrictions do not seem unreason
able, and the decision of the Missouri
court should encourage the officials in
other cities who are making an effort to
keep the billboard displays within limits
that will not ruin the beauty of the city
and country with their hideous handiwork.
Girls Make Own- Graduation Dresses.
Indianapolis Star.
The closing exercises of the year for
the Girls' Industrial School will be held
May 21. There ate four girls who have
completed the seven years" sewing coarse
of the school and tin elaborate programme
has been arranged for the graduation.
For diplomas hey will be presented with
cutting patterns.
Prizes are to be awarded for the various
grades of work. In the school there are
165 girls who hava never missed a Satur
day afternoon class and they will be given
books in recognition of their faithful at
tendance. Pupils 6 years of age. wearing
garments made by themselves, will ap
pear on the platform, as will girls who
have attended five years, the latter wear
ing garments made by themselves on sew.
lng machines. The. four graduates also
will wear dresses which are their own
handiwork.
Insurance Payments on the King.
New York Press.
Coming to insurance companies to
policyholders on the life of King Ed
ward is $1,500,000. Most of these poli
cies were taken out by business peo
ple who have copyhold leases granted
for the term of King Edward's nat
ural life. Such leases are many years
old, having been entered into when the
King was a young man, so the Insur
ance companies have had plenty of time
to get theirs. Even some years ago
people btgan to take out Insurance on
the lives of King George's children,
owing to their names appearing in the
leases. Last year the Insurance com
panies raised the rate on the King's life
from 10 to 15 per cent.
Mocking; a Dead Scientist.
New York Evening Sun.
I'm dreaming now of Halley.
Old Halley Fake Halley.
I'm dreaming now of Halley,
And the mocking bird is roosting on
his grave.
In Brief.
Chicag-o Tribune.
Tbe comet's report. .
Of all verbla.se stripped.
Is. "I came. I saw.
And immejttly skipped."
LIFE'S SUNNY SIDE
"If you want an answer to any ques
tion under the sun," said Robert Edison,
"ask the small boy. Did you ever hear
about the mother of a bad boy who asked
James Russell Lowell to write in her
autograph album? The poet, complying,
wrote the line:
" 'What is so rare as a day in June?'
"Calling at this woman's house a few
days later. Lowell idly turned the pages
of the album till he came to his own
autograph and saw this answer:
" 'A Chinaman with whiskers.1 "
Young's Magazine.
One .evening, as the mother of a little
niece of Phillips Brooks was" tucking her
snugly in bed. a caller was announced.
The mother told the child to say her pray
ers and promised to be back in a few
minutes.
When she returned she asked the child
if she had done as she was bidden.
"Well, you see, mamma, 1 was awfully
sleepy, so I just asked God if he wouldn't
excuse me tonight, and He said, 'Oh, cer
tainly; don't mention it. Miss Brooks." "
Success Magazine.
Senator Overman said the other day,
of a defeated bill:
"It deserves to be defeated. It was as
irregular as a Tin Can poker game.
"A man, describing the game, said:
" 'One-eyed Bones, on my right, hold
four kings and an ace. Two-fingered
Schermerhorn, on my left, held four aces"
and a king.'
" 'And you what did you hold?' some
one asked excitedly.
" 'I, being the Coroner, held the in
quest,' was the reply." Kansas City Star.
Senator Boise Penrose, at a dinner at
the Philadelphia Club, said of a move
ment that he opposed:
"It promises incredible things. In
fact, it makes me think of Jack Travers,
of Pike County.
"Jack is an old man now. He remem
bers the time when bears were as plenti
ful on the barren mountains as rattlers
still are. Once, when I was fishing at
Portland Lake. I asked him if he had
ever had any remarkable adventures with
bears.
" 'Well, no. Senator,' said the old man.
as he filled his pipe with cut plug; 'I
can't say as I ever had much to do with
the bears hereabouts. Wunst in my spark
in' days, me and a bear got together
'twan't nothin', though.
" 'It all come about over old Sukey.
our cow. She had a bad habit of stayin'
out late at night. Then I'd have to go
to the woods and fetch her home to the
milkin'.
" 'Well, one dark night when I wanted
to go sparkin', Suke was late ag'in. and
it certainly riz my dander. I started out
after her, cussin' a blue streak, and in
about an hour I heerd her snortin' and
puffin' in the thicket. "
" 'I'd missed my girl by that time, and
I was riled clear through. I cut a saplin'
and went for old Sukey. It was too dark
to see, but I knew her snuffle, and 1
grabbed her by the ear and began to laj
on with my stick just about proper.
" 'The . old cow showed fight. She
wrestled me around considerable. But 1
was mad mad all over and I half pushed
and half drug and half carried her to the
barn, and there I tied her up tight and
fast, and I milked her in the dark. After
wards I went to bed.
" 'I certainly did have to laugh, though,
when I come down the next mornin".
Gosh durned if I hadn't fotched and
milked a big she bear." " Washington
Post.
In Little Old New York.
Chicago Record-Herald.
Some statistician who thinks the.
world ought to know about It has de
vised a table which is intended to show
the activity of New York. Here are
certain extracts from it:
Every hour a fatal accident.
Every eight hours a divorce.
Every ten hours a suicide.
Every second two telephone calls.
Every second 3750 gallons of water
are consumed.
Every two seconds an arrest.
Every 30 seconds an immigrant
lands.
Every minute 40 tons of coal are
consumed.
Every five minutes a child is born.
Every six minutes a death.
Every 13 minutes a marriage.
"Wonderful:" We might add a few
items, as, for instance.
Every tenth 'of a second a champagne
cork pops.
Every 20 minutes the son of a Pitts
burg millionaire does something fool
ish. Every 45 seconds a joyrider passes a
given point.
Every three seconds somebody is
"tipped" at the Waldorf-Astoria.
Every 20 minutes somebody arrives
to spend money he has secured else
where. Every 60 minutes some man from the
West steps into a leading position.
Every three minutes a new play is
offered to some theatrical manager.
T 1
Pointed Paragraphs.
Chicago News.
Bigamy Is as foolish as it is crim
inal. It's difficult for a landlord and tenant
to trot in double harness.
You never hear a minister singing
"No Wedding Bells for Me."
Trying to get back at backbiters is
hardly worth the effort.
The average married man has a hor
ror of the word "entertain."
Farmers don't believe in race sui
cide. Children are so useful on the
farm.
It's surprising what long letters some
women can write without telling any
thing. If you are thinking of going to law
to spite somebody, take a year off and
think it over.
No man ever loves the way he
thought he would. He loves the way
he has to or is allowed to.
Some automobiles are such excellent
hill climbers ;that they take their own
ers over the hill to the poorhouse.
And it is almost as easy to find
friends when you have the money as it
is to lose them when you go broke.
Every woman knows that if a pho
tograph flatters her it is a better like
ness than the reflection she sees iu
the mirror.
In the Treating Mood.
Everybody's.
A man in a mellow condition went
into a barber shop and seated himself
in one of the chairs.
"What's your pleasure, sir?" asked
the polite barber.
"Oh, er give me a haircut and have
one yourself."
Shortase of Heroes.
Boston Transcript.
As an Instance of the embarrassment
of riches, it is reported that the Carne
gie "hero fund" is so heavily endowed
that great difficulty is found in dispos
ing of the income. Evidently there rs
not so much heroism as was expected.
His Plea Doesn't Go.
Los Angeles Times.
The New York man who pleaded that
he was stupefied when he stood at the
marriage altar will have to try it
again. We were all feeling that way,
fellow.
Hot Biscuits and Long Life.
Chicago Record-Herald.
There is in Alabama a man 97 years
of age who alleges that he has eaten
hot biscuits all his life. What vice
do you recommend as a life-prolonger ?
0