6 TIIE 3IORXIXG OREGOXIAX, MONDAY, 3IAY 23, 1910. ' rORTLASD, OREGON. Entered at Portland. Oregon. Postofflca as Eecbnd-Class Matter. ' subscription Kates Invariably In Advance. CBY MAIL). a"y. Sunday included, one year S.0 ally. Sunday Included, six months.... -25 ial y, Sunday Included, three montba. . 2-j rI iy' Sundy Included, one month - fa without Sunday, one year -" fi y' w'thut Sunday, alx month. J 2 Anally, without Sunday, three month.. eajly. without Sunday, one month Weekly, one year L50 Sunday, one year " " -- 2 50 bunday and weekly, onV'year -60 (By Carrier). !y' 5 un5ay Included, one year. ....'. 0 XJV,ly Sunday Included, one month "s "ow to Kemlt-Send Postofflce money ZL r'. ""Press order or personal check on vour local bank. stamps' coin or currency are at the sender's risk. Give postofflce ad ores In full. Including county and state. . 1'oatage Katea lu to u cues. 1 cent; to 2 pages. 2 cents; 30 to 40 pages. 3 cents; i? 60 Pes. cents. Foreign postage double rate. ,f,ft.""n B"neas Office The.S. C. Beck wun special Agency New York, rooms 48 SV tribune building. Chicago, rooms 610 Tribune building. FORTLAND, MONDAY, MAY 23, 1010. MR. HI 1. 1., CONSERVATION CRITIC. Mr. Louis W. Hill, President of the Great Northern Railroad, whose com pany has set in motion hitherto dor mant activities in Eastern Oregon with long-awaited railroad projects, finds the same obstruction to settlement of the public domain la this state as in Montana, Idaho and Washington namely, suspension and nullification by Pinchot officials of the homestead law. He also finds the same harrier to development of water powers in this state as in the others namely, as sumption by Pinchot officials of the control of stream waters that by con stitutions and statutes and customs belong to the states. He sees here, as. In other states, the same dilatory sys tem that has held back National irri gation works. Mr. Hill has spoken his views In a number of places in Eastern and Southern Oregon, where he has been prospecting the route of his projected railroads. He has reached his conclu sions not alone from observations in Oregon, but also in all the sparsely settled regions of the Plnchotized West. His criticisms are not his own merely; they are shared by a large number of influential citizens through out the West; they have had voice in Cong.-ess and in most of the leading newspapers of this part of the United States. So that Mr. Hill is not pro claiming new doctrine nor are his opinions without large and growing support. Mr. Hill desires for the business of his projected railroad - in Oregon as large an influx of new population as possible. But he sees one-third the land area of this state "reserved," much of It withheld from homestead settlement by "regulations" in viola tion of law. This same condition ex ists in Washington, Idaho and Mon tana. It deprives landseeking citizens of this Nation of cheap land. It re verses the policy of settlement that has populated all of the Nation hith erto, made the wealth and the strength of the older commonwealths and given the states of the Far West what little progress they possess. While some little land is still open to homestead settlement, it is of the least desirable kind. Therefore, when newcomers in the Pacific Northwest want land they must buy it from pri vate land speculators at high prices, whereas the law of Congress, which has not been repealed, allows them to acquire land from the Government at J2.50 an acre. Meanwhile 100,000 of America's most stalwart citizens have sought cheap lands In Canada in the past year; turned away from the Na tion of their birth and their heritage by false conservation. These men and women have taken $100,000,000 with them. 1 Tens of thousands of other cit izens are followir t their footsteps. Meanwhile the Nation Is surfeited on Its eastern border with undesirables from Europe. This is a condition that is not ameliorated by retort of "spoliation" and "land greed" and "land thievery," that are alleged to have been practiced before conservation came into vogue, at cost of the people of the Uni'ted States. Landgrabblng has thrived, un doubtedly, and many individuals and corporations have secured ill-gotten spoils. But the smallest part of this depredation has been committed under the homestead law, and little or none of it would have been committed had the Government enforced that law to the letter. The big land grants of rail roads and wagon-road companies were secured many years ago under special acts of Congress, not under the home stead law. Other tracts have been seized by spoilsmen under the timber and stone act, and in tome part under the homestead law, when the latter law was not enforced. But now conservation officials. In stead of enforcing the homestead law, as they are bound by their oath to do, have practically nullified it in Western Oregon and Western Washington, and in many other parts of these states. If, as they say, they cannot open lands to honestead entry, without admitting perpetrators of fraud, why is this true? Cannot they enforce the law? If not, why are they a horde of them in the pay of this Government, add ing to its taxes and obstructing the de velopment of the West? But this con tention of theirs Is manifestly absurd and false. - People of the Eastern States have been turning to account the lands and the streams of their part of rhe'conti nent ever since the founding of James town and the landing at Plymouth. Their use of these resources has made their states densely populated and wealthy beyond counting. Yet the very use of the similar resources by people of the West they, or their con servation officials, call thievery of the public domain and robbery of the peo ple. Instead of demanding that re gions in the West as large as European kingdoms be held in a wild. and a sav age state, the people of those states could practice "conservation" by de populating lands within their own bor ders, planting forests thereon and re storing them to conditions of primitive wilderness. But that would so trench upon their prosperity that they would not consider it a moment. The West does not object to preser vation of forests on a reasonable scale. But perpetual "conservation" of lands that are more suitable for agricultural crops than for forest crops, in the vast arc-as that have been marked off by the Government In this country, is in tolerable; a'so conservation of lands for alleged forests that are forests In no sense of the word. This Western country has real griev ance against the extreme policy of conservation. Nor will individuals who seek to curry favor in Eastern quar ters or 0 profit from local animosities by upholding Pinchotism in this coun try have any lasting satisfaction or final triumph. Mr. Hill perceives the real aspect of affairs in the West. His railroad interests and the interests of every other railroad man and land owner and merchant are menaced by this false conservation. And it rests with Western States to determine whether they shall be de prived of their constitution-guaranteed control of stream waters by Federal ized Pinchotism. The National Gov ernment, within their borders, just" like anys other owner .of riparian land, Jones or Smith, is subject to state au thority. The states possess full own ership of all unappropriated waters In non-navigable streams, and full con trol of appropriated waters through power of taxation and regulation of rates and quality of service. Will they surrender this power to be Federal ized and taxed? These questions are for Western states to decide. Mr.' Hill is to be commended for his candor and his courage to speak the truth; also for his determination to build a railroad through Central and Eastern Oregon. He is not. as some extreme Eastern conservationists Inti mate, an .undesirable newcomer there, nor Is his railroad unwelcome, even though he believes the resources of the region should be unlocked from ex treme conservation. FARMING OUT COUNTY JOBS. The North Yamhill Grange favors letting out the offices of the county to lowest-salary bidders, except offices of County Judge and Commissioners. Re cently the Grange adopted resolutions citing: "Whereas, The salaries paid to county officials are in excess of the earnings of other people of sufficient ability to fill the positions; and, whereas, the present method of elect ing county officers often leads to cor ruption of the body politic." It thus appears that the North Yam hill Grange looks upon office-holding as a means of making livelihood rather than as a means of carrying out functions of government. Efficiency of service is not to be considered so much as "getting a job," and persons who will fill the job cheapest ought to have the positions. But this Is the very class of citizens who ought not to be in official place. An employer does not hire a man for a position because the man is the cheap est he can get. He looks to industry and Intelligence quite as much as to wages. Why is it there are men in Yamhill County who cannot make good wages and profits In private occupations? Their employers and their neighbors can tell why. It is cheering to note that the State Grange in its recent assembly did not echo this absurd resolution of ' the Grange of North Yamhill. DOCKS DEMAGOGISM. "The people will rule" finally on the question of debt-making and tax-levying docks in Portland, but that will be when they have considered the matter at length and wisely. It does not prove either that the people, want debt and taxes for docks, or that the desirability of docks Is indisputable, because they have authorized city officials to sell $500,000 bonds.and spend the proceeds for this addition to the city govern ment's functions. " Besides, who is so foolish as to as sert that the people's immature de cision on any matter would be ultimate wisdom and unchangeable? It is ex treme fallacy, or rather demagogism, to assert that truth . or wisdom is proved by counting noses of the ma jority. The people have decided wrong In this world oftener than they have decided right, and it is oftenest the case that they go right only after exhausting all possible methods of go ing wrong. They rule, to be sure, and should rule; but their immature Judg ment . of things will not rule, and should not. The people of many states have gone wrong in this coun try on the money question an on se cession and slavery. Their misconcep tion of men and affairs has repeatedly made martyrs of their clear-seeing members. The people of Portland will decide the question of docks and their de cision will be law. But it will be in accordance with full information, ma ture deliberation and sound judgment. Had they thought seriously of going into the docks business, they would not have passed a measure authorizing the Council to spend $500,000 to -buy or build docks; they iwould have com manded the Council and would have authorized an adequate appropriation for the purpose. Mrst of the noise about docks is veriest humbug, buncombe rnd dema gogism. OK, WHAT A FALL WAS IHBRE. To fall 2000 feet vertically down ward, and not be much injured, as an aeronaut did at Perry in Oklahoma the other day, seems like defying the law of gravitation. Usually a per son who falls fifty feet is killed or at least badly maimed. According to the report, this fortunate aeronaut only suffered a broken leg and. a slight bruise. Considering how far he fell and how hard he must have struck the ground, this is like a miracle. He had a parachute, but it was so wet and unmanageable that It seems not to have helped him at all. He fell with all the velocity which a stone would have acquired ih that vertical distance that is. When he struck, the ground his speed was pretty nearly 352 feet per second. This would be a very respectable rate for a comet. The kinetic energy which he had acquired, if he weighed 150 pounds, represented more than 13,000,000 foot pounds of work. When he collided with the ground, all this energy was necessar ily transformed partly into heat and partly into a small earthquake. How big a hole did -his body make where contact took place? The account sayeth not. The most rational conclusion which one can draw from all these calcula tions is that the aeronaut, whose earthly appellation ' is Oscar Leroy, was borne up by ministering angels. Perhaps some friendly spiritual agency interposed an invisible cushion under him as firemen do when a person is compelled to jump from the tenth story window. We are aware that ex traordinary things perpetually hap pen. By the doctrine of chcrnees something which is perfectly Incredi ble ought to occur about once in so often... and it certainly does. The maxim that it is the unexpected which happens ought to be changed to read that it is the absurdly incredible which happens. Kipling tells in his Song of the. Banjo about "Doing the thing that can't be done." The law of chances, which is supreme over gravitation and everything else, constantly brings the impossible to pass. Perhaps there was one chance in ten million that Oscar Leroy would survive his fall. . By a marvel of marvels it fell to him and he only broke his leg where he ought by good rights to have been killed. TWO CITIES AT PORTLAND? There is no occasion to feel any great alarm over the suggestion at the meeting of the North East Side Im provement Association the other night that if the project for the Broadway bridge be' defeated an independent municipal government should be set up east of the river. It is not easy to see how two cities, one each side of the river, would solve the vexatious bridge problem better than one city. For there would be bridges, and traffic In increasing volume. Just the same. Wo assume, of course, that the North East Side Improvement Association would not go to the extreme of sus pending diplomatic, commercial, so cial, physical, governmental -and all other relations with the old town. It is not easy to understand why it should be assumed that the West Side Is to be held solely accountable for lack of progress on the bridges. The West Side contributed its share of votes for the Broadway bridge and will pay Its full share of the cost. It might also not be difficult to show that the objections to the new steel bridge at Oregon street were not from the West Side; but The Oregonian for bears. - Yet we would have the people of Portland take note of the suggestion the implied threat-; of secession, since It shows what is present in some minds, perhaps many. We would avoid every possible occasion for sec tional controversy and would remark that it is the duty of every citizen to do those things which will contribute to the- making of a greater and hap pier city here at Portland. No one wants two cities. That question was settled long ago. SIGNS OF PROGRESS. Portland led every" city of its class or larger in the percentage of gain in bank clearings last week, the nearest approach to the Portland gain of 58.8 per cent being Atlanta, with 40.7 per cent gain, and St. Paul with 37.5 per cent gain. Not only did this city distance all of the other great cities, but with. only two exceptions Oakland and Sacra mento having combined clearings less than one-half as large as Port land's $11,000,000, all other American cities, regardless of size, were beaten. The volume, of clearings would be remarkable even in the height of the grain season, when the ebb and flow of money through Portland banks reaches large proportions. Coming at this time, when but few of our great staples are moving, it shows an extra ordinarily prosperous condition in gen eral trade. IS MR. HUGHES A BOSS? In characterizing Governor Hughes as a "great bpss," which it meant for a compliment, the New York Sun showed a singular contempt - for the proper meaning of language. While Mr. Hughes has exercised extraordi nary power over the course of events since- he appeared as a public man, he has displayed none of the qualities of a boss, either morally or politically. The principal trait of a boss is that he usually seeks certain selfish ends', or at any rate ends which are op posed to the welfare of the public, and he seeks them by means which are not morally justifiable. Unless we discard these features altogether and frame an entirely new definition of a boss, it is impossible to bring Mr. Hughes un der that classification. It would be as reasonable to call Washington a boss or any other patriot whose effort was solely directed to unselfish ends. Mr. Hughes never has sought power for its own sake or for the benefits which it might bring to himself or his adherents. .Throughout his career thus far his object has been so ob viously the public good that even his bitterest enemies confess it. Indeed, one of their most common charges against him, is that he has ignored all the cliques, bosses and petty rings and gone directly to the public with every cause, arguing for its triumph on the ground that it would benefit the en tire commonwealth. Conduct of this kind makes a man a -statesman, not a boss. More than that, it makes him a statesman of the first rank; and it is because of Mr. Hughes' ability to see clearly the final Issue of ten dencies and persuade the electorate to act with reference to the long result and not for immediate consequences which makes thoughtful people regret his retirement to the Supreme' Bench from the field where his usefulness was sure to increase with time. He differs from a boss as much in his methods as in his aims. About the boss, even the best of them, there Is something furtive, something which he does not dare to confess. His acts are best done in the dark and he ac knowledges it by seeking seclusion. Who can charge Mr. Hughes with any thing of the kind? He has lived in a glare of light ever since he went into politics, and no act of his can be cited which has not from its inception stood boldly open to criticism. But it is most of all in his way of approaching the people and persuad ing them to adopt his measures that Mr. Hughes differs most strikingly from the boss. This malign creature never approaches the people at all when he can help it. He avoids ask ing them for an elective office. He carries his ends by indirection and de ceit as often as he can. But when he must go to the people with a meas ure, 'then his one reliance Is bribery in some form. He bribes the poor with Christmas turkeys, the foolish with beer, the weak with Ingenious and varied flatteries and fees. Who ever heard of Mr. Hughes doing such a thing? The idea In connection with his austere and ascetic character is so Incongruous that It is absurd. Mr. Hughes has invariably gone to the people with argument based on reason alone. What is right? What Is best for the entire commonwealth? What will be best for the next gen eration and for the country In the far future? These are the questions Mr. Hughes has asked as he argued the matter out with the public, and his reasoning has invariably been so co gent that he has won the voters to his side. Who ever .heard of a boss going to the electorate with syllogisms of high political philosophy? Who ever heard him speak of consequences farther off than the next hour? To call Mr. Hughes a boss sheds no light whatever on his character and con duct, but it sheds an extraordinary Illumination on the intelligence and morals of the person who does it. The Socialist party, in congress as sembled at Chicago, after a heated de bate, decided that in the future it was to be "a political party distinct and 6pposed to all parties formed by the capitalist class," instead of by the "propertied classes," the distinction formerly made. The change was made in order that farmers may become eligible to place in the party of dis. content; but It is somewhat difficult to understand why any farmer should desire to join the ranks of the Social ists. The doctrine of short hours, big pay and an equal division of all wealth never appealed strongly to the men who work from sun to sun and then feed the stock in the gloaming. As to the other class of farmers, who direct their operations from the tonneaus of automobiles and turn off livestock and grain in trainload lots, it would re quire considerable skill on the part of the average socialistic soap-box spieler to locate them anywhere except in the capitalistic class. The Socialists should confine their membership to the "have-nots." President Taft has informed a num ber of callers that he believes in the Innocence of Balllnger and will stand by the bitterly-attacked membf r of his Cabinet. Of course this determination of the President to show his faith' in the member of his Cabinet whe has become a special target for the muck rakers will draw down on his head the ire of the entire pack that have been In full cry after Balllnger for the past year. Yet in showing his confidence In a man who has been proven Inno cent of aiy wrongdoing, President Taft Is only following the example of Roosevelt, one of whose virtues was the tenacity with which he stuck to his friends. By the way, did any of this pack of muckrakers who are now on the trail of Taft and Ballinger enter any serioifs objection to Theodore Roosevelt when he honored with high position Paul Morton, known to be guilty of railroad rebating? Is it pos sible that what was a virtue In Theo dore Roosevelt becomes a crime in Taft? Yet Morton was guilty and Bal llnger is innocent. Fishermen of Willamette and Clack amas Rfver-5 could not wait for the salmon season to open on May 1 and began caking fish unlawfully before that date, in defiance of the Flsn War den. Th-jy caught several thousand salmon, which would have supplied hatcheries with son..i 5,000,000 egg3. That would have been a fine take of eggs at either the Clackamas or the Mackenzie River hatcheries. The pur pose of the law was to save them for hatchery propagation. Thrc is no reasoning with fishermen, however; they must be controlled by the power and the penalty of the law. The law has been Inadequate ana is ,so still. That is the reason Spring salmon in the Columbia River are so near, exter mination. Why not use Juniper trees for fence posts? To be sure, it is a dangerous proposition to take them from land within Uncle Sam's special bailiwick, but the fence posf is going t be a paramount Issue in Central Oregon, where thousands of farmers are fol lowing the new trail blazed by James J. Hill. If Pinchotism. is to blame for lack of fence post - material, - Oregon ought to rise up as one man and de mand from the Secretary of the In terior the' removal. of -the blight. The Juniper tree as an' agency for devel opment and civilization can not be ignored. Banker Morris has been convicted and sentenced to six years' imprison ment for embezzlement in the defunct Oregon Trust Bank, and now awaits a new trial. Severe treatment has been meted out to bankwreckers in this city in the last two years, in indictments, trials and convictions, but none of them has yet been overtaken by the law's punishment. All of which goes to show that Justice is slow to deal with a person who wrongly disposes of money in a bank. Justice is fleeter footed when money is wrongly con verted from any other place. The Oregonian called a bill of U'Ren's against railroad passes a "freak," and thereby has incurred en mity of a number of disingenuous crit ics. But the bill certainly was a freak; it had no enacting clause. The Oregonian's designation of ., "freak" measures is always well advised. The trouble with its critics is chiefly that they are usually poorly informed and lack candor. Why did that bill not have an enacting clause? Mr. Cort continues In his attitude of benevolent assimilation toward the late theatrical trust, and says he will play the trust shows Just the same as any others. The trust says he won't. Who knows? Is all this on the square, or is the enterprising advertising agent working overtime? But whatever hap pens, nothing worse could happen than has happened theatrically during the past several years in the Pacific North west. Should Congress appropriate $25,000 for marking the Oregon trail, under direction of the Secretary of War, it would be a fine thing to put to the task some of the soldiers and officers who are idling at barracks and else where. Thts would make a good Sum mer job for a lot of ornamental citi zens, who, on account of unfortunate peace, are compelled to eke out a humdrum existence. The moon is thoughtfully going into eclipse tonight so as to give the comet the celestial right of way. But don't raise your hopes too high.. The comet hasn't done anything yet anybody said It would do. Uncle Joe Cannon was, of course, a trifle excited when he declared that "shooting was too good for those In surgents." It's quite good enough. . A $15,000 bath-house and laundry is being built at Vale. That assures a Republican majority in Malheur this Fall. A California judge contends that widows make the best wives. This is small comfort to the deceased. Advice to a novice: Have the exact price when you buy circus peanuts.. With "owl" cars, some men simply would have to get home. Comet chorus: "Where Is my wan dering tail tonight?" OLD COUNTIES FIGHT NEW, ONES Tblnlt Outside Voters Should Not Mix Up In Their Local Affairs. ' Eugene Register. With alt these new county schemes on foot, the wisest thing the people of the state can do is to vote "No" on all of them, as a reminder to new coun ty boomers that they must, pass the whole proposition up to the Legisla ture for enactment of a law leaving division and formation of new coun ties to the people directly interested, both as to the territory set off and the old county or counties from which to be taken. The propositions now up are different, especially the ones affecting Lane and Douglas counties, and the people of these two counties will feel that the people of Oregon have taken snap judg ment and forced upon them a condition not warranted by the situation 'unless the people of these two counties see (It to submit, by their own votes, to the proposed divisions. Let the people of Oregon put this whole county division proposition up to the Legislature to arrange a division law that leaves settlement of such ques tions to the voters In the territory affected.' Such a Just and equitable law was passed at the last session, but retiring Governor Chamberlain, for rea sons best known to himself, vetoed it. We must have a fair county division law to be used conservatively by the people in granting such county forma tions as conditions Justify. Under the present system, if the whole people are to pass on the new county schemes they are as fully Justified in creating all the new counties asked for as they are in granting any one of them, and common sense would suggest that, out of the dozen or more new counties asked for, some of them are not Justfled by con ditions. How will a widely-separated voting population fee able to discrimi nate in this matter? They cannot do it; therefore, for the people to form any county in the state is . doing the people of that territory so affected a rank Injustice, and, as a matter of fair ness, the people snould put the stamp of disapproval on a blanket law that gives them the power to ride roughshod over any community In the state. Vote "No" on all county division schemes and let the Legislature straighten this matter out for the com mon good of all the people. ANOTHER STATEMENT ONE TRICK I It to Be Played In Washington an It Was In OrcKonl Centralia News-Examiner. So long as there are no restrictions placed on the voting at the primary elec tions, whereby the political parties shall be recognized, forbidding Republican! to take part in Democratic primaries, and vice versa, the News-Examiner will not support any candidate for the State Leg islature or the State Senate who hopes to secure nomination and election by pledg ing himself to vote for the candidate who receives the highest popular vote at the primaries. The Constitution provides for the elec tion of United States Senators by the State Legislatures, and until an amend ment is made to the Constitution the peo ple have no right to demand individual pledges before election from Legislative candidates, and candidates have no right to make them. The fact that the primary election law as it now stands makes It possible for a Republican state to send members to the State Legislature pledged to vote for a man like Poindexter stamps the law as an outrage against political equity, and every possible impediment should be thrown in its way. It would be very different were the primary Elections conducted on the same lines as were the old party conventions Republicans in a Republican convention and Democrats in a Democratic convention. Only in this way can party lines be maintained, party poli cies strengthened and the strongest men elected. ASSEMBLY GROWS IN FAVOR View Is Spreading That It Will Aid Worklagi of Primary Law. - Grants Pass Observer. ' The Republicans of Oregon, so far as county committee meetings- have yet been held, seem to be practically unan imous in favor of holding assemblies for the choosing of candidates to be sub mitted to the voters at the primary elec tion next Kali. The purpose of these assemblies is now clearly understood to be an aid. to the primary law, strengthen ing it in its weak points and offering remedy for the abuses of the open pri mary, as experienced in this state. There may, of course, be a" number of people who pose as Republicans but are really populists, socialists, and such like, who would prefer that elections continue to be held with all the fraud and dis honesty that characterized the open primary on the two occasions of its operation; but the great majority of Ore gon voters are real Republicans who ap prove the assembly method as a means of securing honest elections. The as semblies will be thoroughly representa tive, and every effort will be made to select the best and most capable men for the approval of the voters or otherwise. Hint to Mr. U'Ren. The Dalles Optimist. There is a street band down at Portland called "the hungry seven." It i a good band. It plays real music. It is said the members do not know a music note from a fly speck, but they can make as much noise as a Sousey aggregation. We ought to send them abroad to show the balance of the country that we are a people de voted to music, wedded to "art." Hence we suggest to Mr. U'Ren that in his bill compelling the state to pay the expenses of the delegates to National conventions he should include the necessary funds for new uniforms for the hungry seven, and their expenses to the aforesaid conven tions. SuKgjfstlon to the Gransxe, Lebanon Criterion. The grangers of thts state get to gether In an assembly and resolve against an assembly. They could do the farmer much more benefit by resolving against the city commission and job bing houses by which the farmer Is deprived of much profits due him on what he sells. CURRENT NEWSPAPER JESTS. Casting reflections doeFn't always prove one's brightness. Philadelphia Record. He You can see the comet now about 3 A. M. She (coldly) Thanks. I'm waiting up about that time, anyway. Baltimore American. "Well, how's things?" "Fine," replied the author. . "The critics pronounced my last novel so worthless that I have six publish ers bidding for my next book." Louisville Courier-Journal. Sometimes we interpret too literally. "I want to learn- to make Jelly' said the newly Installed housewife. "is It hard?" "Oh, Lord. no. mum!" replied the cook, with su preme pity. "It's soft." Judge. "I want to "thank you." said the orator, "for the manner in which you give atten tion to my remarks. Your attitude was gratlfyingly different from the others." 'Yes." replied the auditor; "but I don't want any credit that Is not due me. I have had insomnia for weeks." Washington Star. Ingenious Artist I have invented a scheme for Insuring the authenticity of my pictures. You see, I put my name, on the face of the canvas before I commence painting. If at any future time there should arise any doubts of the genuineness. 1 have written instructions on the backs of the pictures to the effect that if the paint be thoroughly removed by pumice-stone the true artist's name will appear." Punch. OLD MAXIMS USEFUL RIGHT NOW Poor Richard's Pro-verbs of Thrift Ap plicable at This Time. If a postal savings bank is established on the proposed lines, it might be well to recognize on the deposit card and on the bonds that are to be issued the whole some maxims of Franklin, the first Amer ican philosopher. Poor Richard's sayings would in this way have a deservedly wide circulation and would be read by the plain people greatly to their advantage, as they were read in the early days of the Repub lic. Here are some of these maxims, tak en from- the Pennsylvania Almanac for 175S, of which Benjamin Franklin, under the pseudonym of Richard Sanders, was the editor and publisher: Many words will not fill a bushel. God helps them who help themselves. Tno used key Is always bright. Do not squander time: time Is the stuff that life Is made of. The sleeping fox catches no poultry. "Time enough," always proves little enough. He that riseth late must trot all day and shall scarce overtake his business at night. LaziQess travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him. Trlve thy business; let not thy business drive thee. Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. He that lives upon hope will die tasting. Industry pays debts. Diligence is the mother of good luck. One today Is worth two tomorrows. Have you something to do tomorrow, do It today. The cat In gloves catches no mice. Little .strokes fell great oaks. Employ thy time -well if thou meanest to gain leisure. Since thou art not sure of a, minute do not throw away an hour. Trouble springs from. Idleness and grievous toll from needless ease. Fly pleasures and they will follow, thee. Three removes are as bad as a fire. Want of care does more damage than want of knowledge. Not to oversee workmen Is to leave them thy purse open. If thou wouldst have a faithful servant and one that thou llkest. serve thyself. For want of a nail the shoe was lost; For want of a shoe the horse was lost; For want of a horse the rider was lost. Being overtaken and slain by the enemy. All for want of care about a horseshoo nail. What maintains one vice would bring up two children. Many a little make a mickle. Fools make feasts and wise men eat them. Wise men learn by others' harms. When the well Is dry they know the need of water. Wouldst thou know the value of money try to borrow some. He that goes a-borrowlng goes a-iorrow-Ing. Pride is as loud a beggar as Want and a great deal more saucy. - Pride that dines on Vanity sups on Con tempt. Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with Poverty and supped with Infamy. The second vice is lying; the first Is run ning into debt. Lying rides fipon Debt's back It is hard lor an empty bag to stand up right. Creditors have better memories than debtors. They have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. Experience keeps a -dear school, but fools will learn In no other, and scarcely in that. Plow hard while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - He that by the plow would thrive, himself must either hold or drive. . WHAT ARE THIS JUDGE'S POWERS t An Inquiry Into Jurisdiction of the Municipal Court. PORTLAND. May 21. (To the Editor.) My attention has been called to cases where two men who had been sentenced by Municipal Judge Bennett either to pay a fine, or to be confined In jail, were discharged upon a writ of habeas corpus for the reason that the charge for which they had been convicted was . non-indictable. I also hear of a man who had been convicted and sentenced In this same court and sent to the rock-pile, beyond the city limits, had caused to be Issued a writ of habeas corpus, setting for the the claim that a judge of the Municipal Court did not . possess Jurisdictional powers of commitment beyond the city limits of which he Is Municipal Judge. also read of another case where three men had been tried and con victed. In the Municipal Court, of the theft from a hotel of two trunks and two suitcases", with contents valued at $1000, and sentenced to 90 days in Jail. Is not the offense for which these three men were convicted and sen tenced also non-Indictable? If indict able, what right has the Judge of the Munloipal Court to impose a sentence for the crime qharged, any more than he had in the other case recently de cided by the Circuit Court? If our Municipal Court can commit those persons convicted to confinement be yond the limits of Its Jurisdiction, and can sentence those convicted of In dictable offenses, may we not soon expect to hear of It assuming the pow ers of the United States Courts also, and sending convicts to McNeil's Island? What is the cause for all the assumption of power by this court? Is it an effort to keep the number of boarders in the Penitentiary at the minimum, while boosting those in the County and City Jails, to the maximum? If not, what, then, and why? Perhaps . the whole thing is non partisan and Is in keeping with the general movement along the line of fads, fancies, foibles and foolishness. It used to be that lawyers, if well read, could guess fairly well at the law,' but now a man connot even gueBS H. O. OLENMAN. OREGON'S LARGEST STRAWBERRY Does Any Reader of The Oresronian Recall Its DlmenlonM"f LOS AXGRLES, Cal.. May 19. (To the Editor.) Will youi inform me as to the largest strawberries that ever came to your notice? Being a former resident of Portland, I have a slight recollection of monster strawberries being exhibited at The Oregonian office, but fail to remem ber the size and weight of same. I think that the berries were of the Magoon va riety, and were exhibited by W. S. Failing, now deceased. C. El BOXN'AT. No member of the present staff of The Oregonian can recall the weijrht and cir cumference of the berries referred to. A search of the files at this late day, unless an approximate date were furnished, would be too hard a task, if Indeed it would not be fruitless. Should any reader remember. The Oregonian will be pleased to re-establish the record. However, the season of strawberries giants, normal size and runts will soon be on. It may be that larger products than those In the late W. 31 Failing's patch may come to perfection. A new rec ord may be established for June. 1910, in which case The Oregonian would like the privilege of carrying it to the four corners of the earth. Miscreant Denounced. Castle Rock Advocate. Some miscreant entered the office of The Advocate some time last Friday and "swiped" the comet egg which- was on display in the window. And this re minds us that petty thieving is rampant in our city at present, many articles of more or less value "turning up miss ing" In various parts of the city. The most aggravating form of thievery Is the taking of flowers, many persons re porting that their gardens have been stripped of the choicest blooms. A little lead might be a good remedy for such an affliction. Strnnsre Fear of Democrats. Hillsboro Independent. In Washington County as well as elsewhere are found the lifelong Demo crats consumed with a gnawing fear that the Republican party will place itself In a false position through ad hering to this or that policy. CALIFORNIA FIGHTS PINCHOTISM Pickett Bill Would Create Bis; OH Trust in Name of Conservation. New York Globe. Any. one who opposes the so-oalled conservation bills is presumptively a crook and rottenness consumes him. So runs the simple argument of the muckraking, magazines. It is proposed not only to validate existing with- . drawals, as to whose legality there Is doubt, but to clap on a prohibition against further entry, pending the classification of the public lands and the enactment of legislation covering fut-i- disposition. Ill fares it with any Congressman who does not shout lustily for this programme. Yet California is the latest state to grow excited over the conservation bills and to demand that they be de feated in their present form. So de manding, the Californlans do not re gard themselves as cranks. They arc more disposed to think the remainder of the country, which clamorously asks the passage of t'te bills as populated by Ignorant fools who are In leash to a phrase. They believe that they know better what is good for California, for the average man. than Eastern senti mentalists and theorists whose minds are bare of knowledge of actual con ditions and who become impatient when asked to consider them. California's great single interest surpassing in importance the citrus fruit Industry is in oil. It Is the actual and prospective withdrawal of oil lands that has alarmed the state. It is pointed out that if the deliberate purpose is to enrich the few at the expense of the many the Pickett bill will do the business. Through the desert region where the oil Is found run the railroads. These railroads re-' ceived land grants every other sec tion for so many miles on either side of Us track. This land is patented to the railroads and cannot be taken away. Now it happens that the oil is accu mulated in a great underground lake or reservoir. Tap In on every other section and the supply under all the sections is 'exhausted. As things now are the enterprising oil man gets his share, or more than his share, if the railroads do not get to work. With draw the land, and the railroads at their leisure will get most of the oil. So the Pickett bill is not conservation at all it Is rather a measure to create an oil monopoly. The truth is its authors, taking a running jump to their conclusions, never took the trouble to Inquire Into what would be its prac tical effects. It Is not strange that California, while conceding the valid ity of the conservation principle, looks with extreme disfavor on the Pickett bill - - drawn. . The Bourne-Chnmberlain Tie-up. Roseburg Leader. Senator Bourne estimates the Repub lican majority -in the Statw of Oregon all the way from 15.000 to 20,000. and yet applauds the defeat of Cake and the election of Senator Chamberlain. To the average voter of Oregon that seems "durn" queer talk from a man who is a United States Senator from thrs state. What is Jonathan up to? He scarcely can start a "Statement No. One" game in his own behalf for a second term. Or has he paid his "dues" to the Grange and Is expecting something in return? It may be that "Our George" and he have formed a mutual admiration and mutual assistance society. There is no doubt it is from him and his and "Our George's" friends that the opposition to the assembly proposition comes. But that 15,000 or 20.000 majority will be in solid evidence this Fall owing to assembly suggestions proving that It is a needful factor in preserving the in tegrity of the party, though it may be highly distasteful to some who are now accidentally members of the United States Senate from the State of Ore gon. Mr. Bourne's "System. Yakima Republic. Senator Bourne, of Oregon, In a speech delivered a few days ago asserted that Oregon has evolved the best form of pop ular government that exists in the world today. Which being Interpreted means that Bourne is highly satisfied with him self as a statesman. He wouldn't be where he is if it wasn't for that .form of popular government. We don't vadmlve the form very much, but we will uphold it still further by saying that there Is excellent reason to believe that under Its beneficent workings he won't be there after It runs him through the hopper" once more. Making It Easier for Baby. Buffalo Express. "Better take a hardwood table, ma'am; they are the fashionable thing," the dealer said. "No," said the young woman; "baby will soon be old enough to hammer, and he never could drive a nail into hard wood. I'll take a plain pine table." Extend It to the Restaurant. Los Angeles Express. If the Department of Agriculture Is de termined to make people happy by teach ing American women how to cook, it ought to extend its generosities to Amer ican restaurants, wherein so many Amer icans pass so much of their time develop ing indigestion and grouches. Statistical Poser. New York Sun. Venus rose from the sea. "I'll bet this will puzzle the census taker," she chuckled. Comet Jokes. BY R. M. WADE. Since Halley's comet's tail's passed by, as comet tails all do. And left our enemies alive, I'm feeling very blue. Competitors still hustle round, on business errands bent An' figure prices down so low one can not make a cent. Scientists ain't In the swim, Telescopes have joked with him. His dear idols have gone broke You may laugh, but that's no joke. Way back in 1843, o'er old Missouri state. Somebody's comet passed. which seemed to have no time to wait. Went scooting West, as G. advised, in his N. Y. Tribune: "Get on a move," Is what H. G. said, "you can't get there too soon." Well, that comet passed us by. While old Earth sighed not a .isrh. Nor did, bullfrogs cease to croak Years ahead of Halley's joke. Some other things are different, though, from what they used to be. For we go at a swifter gait upon both land an' sea! Call it progress if you wish, but call it what you may, 'TIs every fellow with his push, just pushing it for pay. In free speech all have a say, So men try the manly way. Some heirlooms go Into soak You may laugh, but that's no joke. In times gone by, a debtor would worry o'er a debt. And ride nightmares in troubled sleep or roll in bed an' sweat. While humiliating men were squeezing out his pride. Or else he took his pistol out an' did a suicide. Creditors now walk the floor, Isst'nlng to a debtor's snore. Vainly hoping h? will choke You may laugh, b-t that's no joke. This is the electric f. an' motor cars just whiz. For a nickel one can ride an' hear the power siz. The electric juice is brought for miles upon a wire. An' one can't tell dead cold ones from the live ones hot as fire. Lome hauls coRt us less than short. Deep tidewater can't be bought. Railroads have to wear one yoke. Water routes are no fool Joke.