Morning Oregonian. (Portland, Or.) 1861-1937, May 23, 1910, Page 6, Image 6

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,f,ft.""n B"neas Office The.S. C. Beck
wun special Agency New York, rooms 48
SV tribune building. Chicago, rooms 610
Tribune building.
Mr. Louis W. Hill, President of the
Great Northern Railroad, whose com
pany has set in motion hitherto dor
mant activities in Eastern Oregon with
long-awaited railroad projects, finds
the same obstruction to settlement of
the public domain la this state as in
Montana, Idaho and Washington
namely, suspension and nullification
by Pinchot officials of the homestead
law. He also finds the same harrier
to development of water powers in this
state as in the others namely, as
sumption by Pinchot officials of the
control of stream waters that by con
stitutions and statutes and customs
belong to the states. He sees here, as.
In other states, the same dilatory sys
tem that has held back National irri
gation works.
Mr. Hill has spoken his views In a
number of places in Eastern and
Southern Oregon, where he has been
prospecting the route of his projected
railroads. He has reached his conclu
sions not alone from observations in
Oregon, but also in all the sparsely
settled regions of the Plnchotized
West. His criticisms are not his own
merely; they are shared by a large
number of influential citizens through
out the West; they have had voice in
Cong.-ess and in most of the leading
newspapers of this part of the United
States. So that Mr. Hill is not pro
claiming new doctrine nor are his
opinions without large and growing
Mr. Hill desires for the business of
his projected railroad - in Oregon as
large an influx of new population as
possible. But he sees one-third the
land area of this state "reserved,"
much of It withheld from homestead
settlement by "regulations" in viola
tion of law. This same condition ex
ists in Washington, Idaho and Mon
tana. It deprives landseeking citizens
of this Nation of cheap land. It re
verses the policy of settlement that
has populated all of the Nation hith
erto, made the wealth and the strength
of the older commonwealths and given
the states of the Far West what little
progress they possess.
While some little land is still open
to homestead settlement, it is of the
least desirable kind. Therefore, when
newcomers in the Pacific Northwest
want land they must buy it from pri
vate land speculators at high prices,
whereas the law of Congress, which
has not been repealed, allows them to
acquire land from the Government at
J2.50 an acre. Meanwhile 100,000 of
America's most stalwart citizens have
sought cheap lands In Canada in the
past year; turned away from the Na
tion of their birth and their heritage
by false conservation. These men and
women have taken $100,000,000 with
them. 1 Tens of thousands of other cit
izens are followir t their footsteps.
Meanwhile the Nation Is surfeited on
Its eastern border with undesirables
from Europe.
This is a condition that is not
ameliorated by retort of "spoliation"
and "land greed" and "land thievery,"
that are alleged to have been practiced
before conservation came into vogue,
at cost of the people of the Uni'ted
States. Landgrabblng has thrived, un
doubtedly, and many individuals and
corporations have secured ill-gotten
spoils. But the smallest part of this
depredation has been committed under
the homestead law, and little or none
of it would have been committed had
the Government enforced that law to
the letter. The big land grants of rail
roads and wagon-road companies were
secured many years ago under special
acts of Congress, not under the home
stead law. Other tracts have been
seized by spoilsmen under the timber
and stone act, and in tome part under
the homestead law, when the latter
law was not enforced.
But now conservation officials. In
stead of enforcing the homestead law,
as they are bound by their oath to do,
have practically nullified it in Western
Oregon and Western Washington, and
in many other parts of these states.
If, as they say, they cannot open lands
to honestead entry, without admitting
perpetrators of fraud, why is this
true? Cannot they enforce the law?
If not, why are they a horde of them
in the pay of this Government, add
ing to its taxes and obstructing the de
velopment of the West? But this con
tention of theirs Is manifestly absurd
and false. -
People of the Eastern States have
been turning to account the lands and
the streams of their part of rhe'conti
nent ever since the founding of James
town and the landing at Plymouth.
Their use of these resources has made
their states densely populated and
wealthy beyond counting. Yet the
very use of the similar resources by
people of the West they, or their con
servation officials, call thievery of the
public domain and robbery of the peo
ple. Instead of demanding that re
gions in the West as large as European
kingdoms be held in a wild. and a sav
age state, the people of those states
could practice "conservation" by de
populating lands within their own bor
ders, planting forests thereon and re
storing them to conditions of primitive
wilderness. But that would so trench
upon their prosperity that they would
not consider it a moment.
The West does not object to preser
vation of forests on a reasonable scale.
But perpetual "conservation" of lands
that are more suitable for agricultural
crops than for forest crops, in the vast
arc-as that have been marked off by
the Government In this country, is in
tolerable; a'so conservation of lands
for alleged forests that are forests In
no sense of the word.
This Western country has real griev
ance against the extreme policy of
conservation. Nor will individuals who
seek to curry favor in Eastern quar
ters or 0 profit from local animosities
by upholding Pinchotism in this coun
try have any lasting satisfaction or
final triumph. Mr. Hill perceives the
real aspect of affairs in the West. His
railroad interests and the interests of
every other railroad man and land
owner and merchant are menaced by
this false conservation.
And it rests with Western States to
determine whether they shall be de
prived of their constitution-guaranteed
control of stream waters by Federal
ized Pinchotism. The National Gov
ernment, within their borders, just" like
anys other owner .of riparian land,
Jones or Smith, is subject to state au
thority. The states possess full own
ership of all unappropriated waters In
non-navigable streams, and full con
trol of appropriated waters through
power of taxation and regulation of
rates and quality of service. Will they
surrender this power to be Federal
ized and taxed? These questions are
for Western states to decide.
Mr.' Hill is to be commended for his
candor and his courage to speak the
truth; also for his determination to
build a railroad through Central and
Eastern Oregon. He is not. as some
extreme Eastern conservationists Inti
mate, an .undesirable newcomer there,
nor Is his railroad unwelcome, even
though he believes the resources of the
region should be unlocked from ex
treme conservation.
The North Yamhill Grange favors
letting out the offices of the county to
lowest-salary bidders, except offices of
County Judge and Commissioners. Re
cently the Grange adopted resolutions
citing: "Whereas, The salaries paid
to county officials are in excess of the
earnings of other people of sufficient
ability to fill the positions; and,
whereas, the present method of elect
ing county officers often leads to cor
ruption of the body politic."
It thus appears that the North Yam
hill Grange looks upon office-holding
as a means of making livelihood
rather than as a means of carrying out
functions of government. Efficiency of
service is not to be considered so much
as "getting a job," and persons who
will fill the job cheapest ought to have
the positions.
But this Is the very class of citizens
who ought not to be in official place.
An employer does not hire a man for a
position because the man is the cheap
est he can get. He looks to industry
and Intelligence quite as much as to
Why is it there are men in Yamhill
County who cannot make good wages
and profits In private occupations?
Their employers and their neighbors
can tell why.
It is cheering to note that the State
Grange in its recent assembly did not
echo this absurd resolution of ' the
Grange of North Yamhill.
"The people will rule" finally on the
question of debt-making and tax-levying
docks in Portland, but that will be
when they have considered the matter
at length and wisely. It does not prove
either that the people, want debt and
taxes for docks, or that the desirability
of docks Is indisputable, because they
have authorized city officials to sell
$500,000 bonds.and spend the proceeds
for this addition to the city govern
ment's functions. "
Besides, who is so foolish as to as
sert that the people's immature de
cision on any matter would be ultimate
wisdom and unchangeable? It is ex
treme fallacy, or rather demagogism,
to assert that truth . or wisdom is
proved by counting noses of the ma
jority. The people have decided
wrong In this world oftener than they
have decided right, and it is oftenest
the case that they go right only after
exhausting all possible methods of go
ing wrong. They rule, to be sure, and
should rule; but their immature Judg
ment . of things will not rule, and
should not. The people of many
states have gone wrong in this coun
try on the money question an on se
cession and slavery. Their misconcep
tion of men and affairs has repeatedly
made martyrs of their clear-seeing
The people of Portland will decide
the question of docks and their de
cision will be law. But it will be in
accordance with full information, ma
ture deliberation and sound judgment.
Had they thought seriously of going
into the docks business, they would
not have passed a measure authorizing
the Council to spend $500,000 to -buy
or build docks; they iwould have com
manded the Council and would have
authorized an adequate appropriation
for the purpose.
Mrst of the noise about docks is
veriest humbug, buncombe rnd dema
To fall 2000 feet vertically down
ward, and not be much injured, as an
aeronaut did at Perry in Oklahoma
the other day, seems like defying the
law of gravitation. Usually a per
son who falls fifty feet is killed or at
least badly maimed. According to the
report, this fortunate aeronaut only
suffered a broken leg and. a slight
bruise. Considering how far he fell
and how hard he must have struck
the ground, this is like a miracle. He
had a parachute, but it was so wet
and unmanageable that It seems not
to have helped him at all. He fell
with all the velocity which a stone
would have acquired ih that vertical
distance that is. When he struck, the
ground his speed was pretty nearly
352 feet per second. This would be a
very respectable rate for a comet. The
kinetic energy which he had acquired,
if he weighed 150 pounds, represented
more than 13,000,000 foot pounds of
work. When he collided with the
ground, all this energy was necessar
ily transformed partly into heat and
partly into a small earthquake. How
big a hole did -his body make where
contact took place? The account
sayeth not.
The most rational conclusion which
one can draw from all these calcula
tions is that the aeronaut, whose
earthly appellation ' is Oscar Leroy,
was borne up by ministering angels.
Perhaps some friendly spiritual agency
interposed an invisible cushion under
him as firemen do when a person is
compelled to jump from the tenth
story window. We are aware that ex
traordinary things perpetually hap
pen. By the doctrine of chcrnees
something which is perfectly Incredi
ble ought to occur about once in so
often... and it certainly does. The
maxim that it is the unexpected which
happens ought to be changed to read
that it is the absurdly incredible which
Kipling tells in his Song of the.
Banjo about "Doing the thing that
can't be done." The law of chances,
which is supreme over gravitation and
everything else, constantly brings the
impossible to pass. Perhaps there was
one chance in ten million that Oscar
Leroy would survive his fall. . By a
marvel of marvels it fell to him and
he only broke his leg where he ought
by good rights to have been killed.
There is no occasion to feel any
great alarm over the suggestion at the
meeting of the North East Side Im
provement Association the other night
that if the project for the Broadway
bridge be' defeated an independent
municipal government should be set
up east of the river. It is not easy to
see how two cities, one each side of
the river, would solve the vexatious
bridge problem better than one city.
For there would be bridges, and traffic
In increasing volume. Just the same.
Wo assume, of course, that the North
East Side Improvement Association
would not go to the extreme of sus
pending diplomatic, commercial, so
cial, physical, governmental -and all
other relations with the old town.
It is not easy to understand why it
should be assumed that the West Side
Is to be held solely accountable for
lack of progress on the bridges. The
West Side contributed its share of
votes for the Broadway bridge and will
pay Its full share of the cost. It
might also not be difficult to show that
the objections to the new steel bridge
at Oregon street were not from the
West Side; but The Oregonian for
bears. -
Yet we would have the people of
Portland take note of the suggestion
the implied threat-; of secession, since
It shows what is present in some
minds, perhaps many. We would
avoid every possible occasion for sec
tional controversy and would remark
that it is the duty of every citizen to
do those things which will contribute
to the- making of a greater and hap
pier city here at Portland. No one
wants two cities. That question was
settled long ago.
Portland led every" city of its class
or larger in the percentage of gain in
bank clearings last week, the nearest
approach to the Portland gain of 58.8
per cent being Atlanta, with 40.7 per
cent gain, and St. Paul with 37.5 per
cent gain.
Not only did this city distance all of
the other great cities, but with. only
two exceptions Oakland and Sacra
mento having combined clearings
less than one-half as large as Port
land's $11,000,000, all other American
cities, regardless of size, were beaten.
The volume, of clearings would be
remarkable even in the height of the
grain season, when the ebb and flow of
money through Portland banks
reaches large proportions. Coming at
this time, when but few of our great
staples are moving, it shows an extra
ordinarily prosperous condition in gen
eral trade.
In characterizing Governor Hughes
as a "great bpss," which it meant for
a compliment, the New York Sun
showed a singular contempt - for the
proper meaning of language. While
Mr. Hughes has exercised extraordi
nary power over the course of events
since- he appeared as a public man, he
has displayed none of the qualities of
a boss, either morally or politically.
The principal trait of a boss is that
he usually seeks certain selfish ends',
or at any rate ends which are op
posed to the welfare of the public, and
he seeks them by means which are not
morally justifiable. Unless we discard
these features altogether and frame
an entirely new definition of a boss, it
is impossible to bring Mr. Hughes un
der that classification. It would be
as reasonable to call Washington a
boss or any other patriot whose effort
was solely directed to unselfish ends.
Mr. Hughes never has sought power
for its own sake or for the benefits
which it might bring to himself or
his adherents. .Throughout his career
thus far his object has been so ob
viously the public good that even his
bitterest enemies confess it. Indeed,
one of their most common charges
against him, is that he has ignored all
the cliques, bosses and petty rings and
gone directly to the public with every
cause, arguing for its triumph on the
ground that it would benefit the en
tire commonwealth. Conduct of this
kind makes a man a -statesman, not a
boss. More than that, it makes him
a statesman of the first rank; and it
is because of Mr. Hughes' ability to
see clearly the final Issue of ten
dencies and persuade the electorate to
act with reference to the long result
and not for immediate consequences
which makes thoughtful people regret
his retirement to the Supreme' Bench
from the field where his usefulness
was sure to increase with time. He
differs from a boss as much in his
methods as in his aims. About the
boss, even the best of them, there Is
something furtive, something which
he does not dare to confess. His acts
are best done in the dark and he ac
knowledges it by seeking seclusion.
Who can charge Mr. Hughes with any
thing of the kind? He has lived in
a glare of light ever since he went
into politics, and no act of his can be
cited which has not from its inception
stood boldly open to criticism.
But it is most of all in his way of
approaching the people and persuad
ing them to adopt his measures that
Mr. Hughes differs most strikingly
from the boss. This malign creature
never approaches the people at all
when he can help it. He avoids ask
ing them for an elective office. He
carries his ends by indirection and de
ceit as often as he can. But when he
must go to the people with a meas
ure, 'then his one reliance Is bribery
in some form. He bribes the poor
with Christmas turkeys, the foolish
with beer, the weak with Ingenious
and varied flatteries and fees. Who
ever heard of Mr. Hughes doing such
a thing? The idea In connection with
his austere and ascetic character is
so Incongruous that It is absurd.
Mr. Hughes has invariably gone to
the people with argument based on
reason alone. What is right? What
Is best for the entire commonwealth?
What will be best for the next gen
eration and for the country In the far
future? These are the questions Mr.
Hughes has asked as he argued the
matter out with the public, and his
reasoning has invariably been so co
gent that he has won the voters to
his side. Who ever .heard of a boss
going to the electorate with syllogisms
of high political philosophy? Who
ever heard him speak of consequences
farther off than the next hour? To
call Mr. Hughes a boss sheds no light
whatever on his character and con
duct, but it sheds an extraordinary
Illumination on the intelligence and
morals of the person who does it.
The Socialist party, in congress as
sembled at Chicago, after a heated de
bate, decided that in the future it was
to be "a political party distinct and
6pposed to all parties formed by the
capitalist class," instead of by the
"propertied classes," the distinction
formerly made. The change was made
in order that farmers may become
eligible to place in the party of dis.
content; but It is somewhat difficult to
understand why any farmer should
desire to join the ranks of the Social
ists. The doctrine of short hours, big
pay and an equal division of all wealth
never appealed strongly to the men
who work from sun to sun and then
feed the stock in the gloaming. As to
the other class of farmers, who direct
their operations from the tonneaus of
automobiles and turn off livestock and
grain in trainload lots, it would re
quire considerable skill on the part of
the average socialistic soap-box spieler
to locate them anywhere except in the
capitalistic class. The Socialists should
confine their membership to the
President Taft has informed a num
ber of callers that he believes in the
Innocence of Balllnger and will stand
by the bitterly-attacked membf r of his
Cabinet. Of course this determination
of the President to show his faith' in
the member of his Cabinet whe has
become a special target for the muck
rakers will draw down on his head the
ire of the entire pack that have been
In full cry after Balllnger for the past
year. Yet in showing his confidence
In a man who has been proven Inno
cent of aiy wrongdoing, President
Taft Is only following the example of
Roosevelt, one of whose virtues was
the tenacity with which he stuck to
his friends. By the way, did any of
this pack of muckrakers who are now
on the trail of Taft and Ballinger enter
any serioifs objection to Theodore
Roosevelt when he honored with high
position Paul Morton, known to be
guilty of railroad rebating? Is it pos
sible that what was a virtue In Theo
dore Roosevelt becomes a crime in
Taft? Yet Morton was guilty and Bal
llnger is innocent.
Fishermen of Willamette and Clack
amas Rfver-5 could not wait for the
salmon season to open on May 1 and
began caking fish unlawfully before
that date, in defiance of the Flsn War
den. Th-jy caught several thousand
salmon, which would have supplied
hatcheries with son..i 5,000,000 egg3.
That would have been a fine take of
eggs at either the Clackamas or the
Mackenzie River hatcheries. The pur
pose of the law was to save them for
hatchery propagation. Thrc is no
reasoning with fishermen, however;
they must be controlled by the power
and the penalty of the law. The law
has been Inadequate ana is ,so still.
That is the reason Spring salmon in
the Columbia River are so near, exter
mination. Why not use Juniper trees for fence
posts? To be sure, it is a dangerous
proposition to take them from land
within Uncle Sam's special bailiwick,
but the fence posf is going t be a
paramount Issue in Central Oregon,
where thousands of farmers are fol
lowing the new trail blazed by James
J. Hill. If Pinchotism. is to blame for
lack of fence post - material, - Oregon
ought to rise up as one man and de
mand from the Secretary of the In
terior the' removal. of -the blight. The
Juniper tree as an' agency for devel
opment and civilization can not be
Banker Morris has been convicted
and sentenced to six years' imprison
ment for embezzlement in the defunct
Oregon Trust Bank, and now awaits a
new trial. Severe treatment has been
meted out to bankwreckers in this city
in the last two years, in indictments,
trials and convictions, but none of
them has yet been overtaken by the
law's punishment. All of which goes
to show that Justice is slow to deal
with a person who wrongly disposes of
money in a bank. Justice is fleeter
footed when money is wrongly con
verted from any other place.
The Oregonian called a bill of
U'Ren's against railroad passes a
"freak," and thereby has incurred en
mity of a number of disingenuous crit
ics. But the bill certainly was a
freak; it had no enacting clause. The
Oregonian's designation of ., "freak"
measures is always well advised. The
trouble with its critics is chiefly that
they are usually poorly informed and
lack candor. Why did that bill not
have an enacting clause?
Mr. Cort continues In his attitude
of benevolent assimilation toward the
late theatrical trust, and says he will
play the trust shows Just the same as
any others. The trust says he won't.
Who knows? Is all this on the square,
or is the enterprising advertising agent
working overtime? But whatever hap
pens, nothing worse could happen than
has happened theatrically during the
past several years in the Pacific North
west. Should Congress appropriate $25,000
for marking the Oregon trail, under
direction of the Secretary of War, it
would be a fine thing to put to the
task some of the soldiers and officers
who are idling at barracks and else
where. Thts would make a good Sum
mer job for a lot of ornamental citi
zens, who, on account of unfortunate
peace, are compelled to eke out a
humdrum existence.
The moon is thoughtfully going into
eclipse tonight so as to give the comet
the celestial right of way. But don't
raise your hopes too high.. The comet
hasn't done anything yet anybody said
It would do.
Uncle Joe Cannon was, of course, a
trifle excited when he declared that
"shooting was too good for those In
surgents." It's quite good enough.
. A $15,000 bath-house and laundry is
being built at Vale. That assures a
Republican majority in Malheur this
A California judge contends that
widows make the best wives. This is
small comfort to the deceased.
Advice to a novice: Have the exact
price when you buy circus peanuts..
With "owl" cars, some men simply
would have to get home.
Comet chorus: "Where Is my wan
dering tail tonight?"
Tblnlt Outside Voters Should Not Mix
Up In Their Local Affairs.
' Eugene Register.
With alt these new county schemes
on foot, the wisest thing the people
of the state can do is to vote "No" on
all of them, as a reminder to new coun
ty boomers that they must, pass the
whole proposition up to the Legisla
ture for enactment of a law leaving
division and formation of new coun
ties to the people directly interested,
both as to the territory set off and the
old county or counties from which to
be taken.
The propositions now up are different,
especially the ones affecting Lane and
Douglas counties, and the people of
these two counties will feel that the
people of Oregon have taken snap judg
ment and forced upon them a condition
not warranted by the situation 'unless
the people of these two counties see
(It to submit, by their own votes, to the
proposed divisions.
Let the people of Oregon put this
whole county division proposition up to
the Legislature to arrange a division
law that leaves settlement of such ques
tions to the voters In the territory
affected.' Such a Just and equitable
law was passed at the last session, but
retiring Governor Chamberlain, for rea
sons best known to himself, vetoed it.
We must have a fair county division
law to be used conservatively by the
people in granting such county forma
tions as conditions Justify. Under the
present system, if the whole people are
to pass on the new county schemes they
are as fully Justified in creating all the
new counties asked for as they are in
granting any one of them, and common
sense would suggest that, out of the
dozen or more new counties asked for,
some of them are not Justfled by con
ditions. How will a widely-separated
voting population fee able to discrimi
nate in this matter? They cannot do
it; therefore, for the people to form
any county in the state is . doing the
people of that territory so affected a
rank Injustice, and, as a matter of fair
ness, the people snould put the stamp
of disapproval on a blanket law that
gives them the power to ride roughshod
over any community In the state.
Vote "No" on all county division
schemes and let the Legislature
straighten this matter out for the com
mon good of all the people.
I It to Be Played In Washington an It
Was In OrcKonl
Centralia News-Examiner.
So long as there are no restrictions
placed on the voting at the primary elec
tions, whereby the political parties shall
be recognized, forbidding Republican! to
take part in Democratic primaries, and
vice versa, the News-Examiner will not
support any candidate for the State Leg
islature or the State Senate who hopes to
secure nomination and election by pledg
ing himself to vote for the candidate who
receives the highest popular vote at the
The Constitution provides for the elec
tion of United States Senators by the
State Legislatures, and until an amend
ment is made to the Constitution the peo
ple have no right to demand individual
pledges before election from Legislative
candidates, and candidates have no right
to make them. The fact that the primary
election law as it now stands makes It
possible for a Republican state to send
members to the State Legislature pledged
to vote for a man like Poindexter stamps
the law as an outrage against political
equity, and every possible impediment
should be thrown in its way. It would be
very different were the primary Elections
conducted on the same lines as were the
old party conventions Republicans in a
Republican convention and Democrats in
a Democratic convention. Only in this way
can party lines be maintained, party poli
cies strengthened and the strongest men
View Is Spreading That It Will Aid
Worklagi of Primary Law. -
Grants Pass Observer.
' The Republicans of Oregon, so far as
county committee meetings- have yet
been held, seem to be practically unan
imous in favor of holding assemblies for
the choosing of candidates to be sub
mitted to the voters at the primary elec
tion next Kali. The purpose of these
assemblies is now clearly understood to
be an aid. to the primary law, strengthen
ing it in its weak points and offering
remedy for the abuses of the open pri
mary, as experienced in this state.
There may, of course, be a" number of
people who pose as Republicans but are
really populists, socialists, and such like,
who would prefer that elections continue
to be held with all the fraud and dis
honesty that characterized the open
primary on the two occasions of its
operation; but the great majority of Ore
gon voters are real Republicans who ap
prove the assembly method as a means
of securing honest elections. The as
semblies will be thoroughly representa
tive, and every effort will be made to
select the best and most capable men for
the approval of the voters or otherwise.
Hint to Mr. U'Ren.
The Dalles Optimist.
There is a street band down at Portland
called "the hungry seven." It i a good
band. It plays real music. It is said the
members do not know a music note from
a fly speck, but they can make as much
noise as a Sousey aggregation. We ought
to send them abroad to show the balance
of the country that we are a people de
voted to music, wedded to "art." Hence
we suggest to Mr. U'Ren that in his bill
compelling the state to pay the expenses
of the delegates to National conventions
he should include the necessary funds for
new uniforms for the hungry seven, and
their expenses to the aforesaid conven
tions. SuKgjfstlon to the Gransxe,
Lebanon Criterion.
The grangers of thts state get to
gether In an assembly and resolve
against an assembly. They could do the
farmer much more benefit by resolving
against the city commission and job
bing houses by which the farmer Is
deprived of much profits due him on
what he sells.
Casting reflections doeFn't always prove
one's brightness. Philadelphia Record.
He You can see the comet now about 3
A. M. She (coldly) Thanks. I'm waiting
up about that time, anyway. Baltimore
"Well, how's things?" "Fine," replied the
author. . "The critics pronounced my last
novel so worthless that I have six publish
ers bidding for my next book." Louisville
Sometimes we interpret too literally. "I
want to learn- to make Jelly' said the newly
Installed housewife. "is It hard?" "Oh,
Lord. no. mum!" replied the cook, with su
preme pity. "It's soft." Judge.
"I want to "thank you." said the orator,
"for the manner in which you give atten
tion to my remarks. Your attitude was
gratlfyingly different from the others."
'Yes." replied the auditor; "but I don't want
any credit that Is not due me. I have had
insomnia for weeks." Washington Star.
Ingenious Artist I have invented a scheme
for Insuring the authenticity of my pictures.
You see, I put my name, on the face of the
canvas before I commence painting. If at
any future time there should arise any
doubts of the genuineness. 1 have written
instructions on the backs of the pictures to
the effect that if the paint be thoroughly
removed by pumice-stone the true artist's
name will appear." Punch.
Poor Richard's Pro-verbs of Thrift Ap
plicable at This Time.
If a postal savings bank is established
on the proposed lines, it might be well to
recognize on the deposit card and on the
bonds that are to be issued the whole
some maxims of Franklin, the first Amer
ican philosopher. Poor Richard's sayings
would in this way have a deservedly wide
circulation and would be read by the plain
people greatly to their advantage, as they
were read in the early days of the Repub
lic. Here are some of these maxims, tak
en from- the Pennsylvania Almanac for
175S, of which Benjamin Franklin, under
the pseudonym of Richard Sanders, was
the editor and publisher:
Many words will not fill a bushel.
God helps them who help themselves.
Tno used key Is always bright.
Do not squander time: time Is the stuff
that life Is made of.
The sleeping fox catches no poultry.
"Time enough," always proves little
He that riseth late must trot all day and
shall scarce overtake his business at night.
LaziQess travels so slowly that poverty
soon overtakes him.
Trlve thy business; let not thy business
drive thee.
Early to bed and early to rise make a man
healthy, wealthy and wise.
He that lives upon hope will die tasting.
Industry pays debts.
Diligence is the mother of good luck.
One today Is worth two tomorrows.
Have you something to do tomorrow, do It
The cat In gloves catches no mice.
Little .strokes fell great oaks.
Employ thy time -well if thou meanest to
gain leisure.
Since thou art not sure of a, minute do
not throw away an hour.
Trouble springs from. Idleness and grievous
toll from needless ease.
Fly pleasures and they will follow, thee.
Three removes are as bad as a fire.
Want of care does more damage than
want of knowledge.
Not to oversee workmen Is to leave them
thy purse open.
If thou wouldst have a faithful servant
and one that thou llkest. serve thyself.
For want of a nail the shoe was lost;
For want of a shoe the horse was lost;
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
Being overtaken and slain by the enemy.
All for want of care about a horseshoo
What maintains one vice would bring up
two children.
Many a little make a mickle.
Fools make feasts and wise men eat them.
Wise men learn by others' harms.
When the well Is dry they know the need
of water.
Wouldst thou know the value of money
try to borrow some.
He that goes a-borrowlng goes a-iorrow-Ing.
Pride is as loud a beggar as Want and a
great deal more saucy.
- Pride that dines on Vanity sups on Con
tempt. Pride breakfasted with Plenty, dined with
Poverty and supped with Infamy.
The second vice is lying; the first Is run
ning into debt.
Lying rides fipon Debt's back
It is hard lor an empty bag to stand up
right. Creditors have better memories than
They have a short Lent who owe money
to be paid at Easter.
Experience keeps a -dear school, but fools
will learn In no other, and scarcely in that.
Plow hard while sluggards sleep, and you
shall have corn to sell and to keep. -
He that by the plow would thrive, himself
must either hold or drive. .
An Inquiry Into Jurisdiction of the
Municipal Court.
PORTLAND. May 21. (To the
Editor.) My attention has been called
to cases where two men who had been
sentenced by Municipal Judge Bennett
either to pay a fine, or to be confined
In jail, were discharged upon a writ
of habeas corpus for the reason that
the charge for which they had been
convicted was . non-indictable. I also
hear of a man who had been convicted
and sentenced In this same court and
sent to the rock-pile, beyond the city
limits, had caused to be Issued a writ
of habeas corpus, setting for the the
claim that a judge of the Municipal
Court did not . possess Jurisdictional
powers of commitment beyond the city
limits of which he Is Municipal Judge.
also read of another case where
three men had been tried and con
victed. In the Municipal Court, of the
theft from a hotel of two trunks and
two suitcases", with contents valued at
$1000, and sentenced to 90 days in Jail.
Is not the offense for which these
three men were convicted and sen
tenced also non-Indictable? If indict
able, what right has the Judge of the
Munloipal Court to impose a sentence
for the crime qharged, any more than
he had in the other case recently de
cided by the Circuit Court? If our
Municipal Court can commit those
persons convicted to confinement be
yond the limits of Its Jurisdiction, and
can sentence those convicted of In
dictable offenses, may we not soon
expect to hear of It assuming the pow
ers of the United States Courts also,
and sending convicts to McNeil's
Island? What is the cause for all the
assumption of power by this court? Is
it an effort to keep the number of
boarders in the Penitentiary at the
minimum, while boosting those in the
County and City Jails, to the maximum?
If not, what, then, and why?
Perhaps . the whole thing is non
partisan and Is in keeping with the
general movement along the line of
fads, fancies, foibles and foolishness.
It used to be that lawyers, if well
read, could guess fairly well at the
law,' but now a man connot even gueBS
Does Any Reader of The Oresronian
Recall Its DlmenlonM"f
LOS AXGRLES, Cal.. May 19. (To the
Editor.) Will youi inform me as to the
largest strawberries that ever came to
your notice? Being a former resident of
Portland, I have a slight recollection of
monster strawberries being exhibited at
The Oregonian office, but fail to remem
ber the size and weight of same. I think
that the berries were of the Magoon va
riety, and were exhibited by W. S. Failing,
now deceased. C. El BOXN'AT.
No member of the present staff of The
Oregonian can recall the weijrht and cir
cumference of the berries referred to. A
search of the files at this late day, unless
an approximate date were furnished,
would be too hard a task, if Indeed it
would not be fruitless. Should any reader
remember. The Oregonian will be pleased
to re-establish the record.
However, the season of strawberries
giants, normal size and runts will soon
be on. It may be that larger products
than those In the late W. 31 Failing's
patch may come to perfection. A new rec
ord may be established for June. 1910, in
which case The Oregonian would like the
privilege of carrying it to the four corners
of the earth.
Miscreant Denounced.
Castle Rock Advocate.
Some miscreant entered the office of
The Advocate some time last Friday
and "swiped" the comet egg which- was
on display in the window. And this re
minds us that petty thieving is rampant
in our city at present, many articles
of more or less value "turning up miss
ing" In various parts of the city. The
most aggravating form of thievery Is
the taking of flowers, many persons re
porting that their gardens have been
stripped of the choicest blooms. A little
lead might be a good remedy for such
an affliction.
Strnnsre Fear of Democrats.
Hillsboro Independent.
In Washington County as well as
elsewhere are found the lifelong Demo
crats consumed with a gnawing fear
that the Republican party will place
itself In a false position through ad
hering to this or that policy.
Pickett Bill Would Create Bis; OH Trust
in Name of Conservation.
New York Globe.
Any. one who opposes the so-oalled
conservation bills is presumptively a
crook and rottenness consumes him.
So runs the simple argument of the
muckraking, magazines. It is proposed
not only to validate existing with- .
drawals, as to whose legality there Is
doubt, but to clap on a prohibition
against further entry, pending the
classification of the public lands and
the enactment of legislation covering
fut-i- disposition. Ill fares it with
any Congressman who does not shout
lustily for this programme.
Yet California is the latest state to
grow excited over the conservation
bills and to demand that they be de
feated in their present form. So de
manding, the Californlans do not re
gard themselves as cranks. They arc
more disposed to think the remainder
of the country, which clamorously asks
the passage of t'te bills as populated
by Ignorant fools who are In leash to
a phrase. They believe that they know
better what is good for California, for
the average man. than Eastern senti
mentalists and theorists whose minds
are bare of knowledge of actual con
ditions and who become impatient
when asked to consider them.
California's great single interest
surpassing in importance the citrus
fruit Industry is in oil. It Is the
actual and prospective withdrawal of
oil lands that has alarmed the state.
It is pointed out that if the deliberate
purpose is to enrich the few at the
expense of the many the Pickett bill
will do the business. Through the
desert region where the oil Is found
run the railroads. These railroads re-'
ceived land grants every other sec
tion for so many miles on either side of
Us track. This land is patented to the
railroads and cannot be taken away.
Now it happens that the oil is accu
mulated in a great underground lake
or reservoir. Tap In on every other
section and the supply under all the
sections is 'exhausted. As things now
are the enterprising oil man gets his
share, or more than his share, if the
railroads do not get to work. With
draw the land, and the railroads at
their leisure will get most of the oil.
So the Pickett bill is not conservation
at all it Is rather a measure to create
an oil monopoly. The truth is its
authors, taking a running jump to their
conclusions, never took the trouble to
Inquire Into what would be its prac
tical effects. It Is not strange that
California, while conceding the valid
ity of the conservation principle, looks
with extreme disfavor on the Pickett
bill - - drawn. .
The Bourne-Chnmberlain Tie-up.
Roseburg Leader.
Senator Bourne estimates the Repub
lican majority -in the Statw of Oregon
all the way from 15.000 to 20,000. and
yet applauds the defeat of Cake and
the election of Senator Chamberlain. To
the average voter of Oregon that seems
"durn" queer talk from a man who is
a United States Senator from thrs state.
What is Jonathan up to? He scarcely
can start a "Statement No. One" game
in his own behalf for a second term.
Or has he paid his "dues" to the Grange
and Is expecting something in return?
It may be that "Our George" and he
have formed a mutual admiration and
mutual assistance society. There is no
doubt it is from him and his and "Our
George's" friends that the opposition to
the assembly proposition comes. But that
15,000 or 20.000 majority will be in
solid evidence this Fall owing to
assembly suggestions proving that It is
a needful factor in preserving the in
tegrity of the party, though it may be
highly distasteful to some who are now
accidentally members of the United
States Senate from the State of Ore
gon. Mr. Bourne's "System.
Yakima Republic.
Senator Bourne, of Oregon, In a speech
delivered a few days ago asserted that
Oregon has evolved the best form of pop
ular government that exists in the world
today. Which being Interpreted means
that Bourne is highly satisfied with him
self as a statesman. He wouldn't be
where he is if it wasn't for that .form of
popular government. We don't vadmlve
the form very much, but we will uphold
it still further by saying that there Is
excellent reason to believe that under Its
beneficent workings he won't be there
after It runs him through the hopper"
once more.
Making It Easier for Baby.
Buffalo Express.
"Better take a hardwood table, ma'am;
they are the fashionable thing," the
dealer said.
"No," said the young woman; "baby
will soon be old enough to hammer, and
he never could drive a nail into hard
wood. I'll take a plain pine table."
Extend It to the Restaurant.
Los Angeles Express.
If the Department of Agriculture Is de
termined to make people happy by teach
ing American women how to cook, it
ought to extend its generosities to Amer
ican restaurants, wherein so many Amer
icans pass so much of their time develop
ing indigestion and grouches.
Statistical Poser.
New York Sun.
Venus rose from the sea.
"I'll bet this will puzzle the census
taker," she chuckled.
Comet Jokes.
Since Halley's comet's tail's passed by,
as comet tails all do.
And left our enemies alive, I'm feeling
very blue.
Competitors still hustle round, on
business errands bent
An' figure prices down so low one can
not make a cent.
Scientists ain't In the swim,
Telescopes have joked with him.
His dear idols have gone broke
You may laugh, but that's no joke.
Way back in 1843, o'er old Missouri
Somebody's comet passed. which
seemed to have no time to wait.
Went scooting West, as G. advised, in
his N. Y. Tribune:
"Get on a move," Is what H. G. said,
"you can't get there too soon."
Well, that comet passed us by.
While old Earth sighed not a .isrh.
Nor did, bullfrogs cease to croak
Years ahead of Halley's joke.
Some other things are different,
though, from what they used to
For we go at a swifter gait upon both
land an' sea!
Call it progress if you wish, but call
it what you may,
'TIs every fellow with his push, just
pushing it for pay.
In free speech all have a say,
So men try the manly way.
Some heirlooms go Into soak
You may laugh, but that's no joke.
In times gone by, a debtor would
worry o'er a debt.
And ride nightmares in troubled sleep
or roll in bed an' sweat.
While humiliating men were squeezing
out his pride.
Or else he took his pistol out an' did
a suicide.
Creditors now walk the floor,
Isst'nlng to a debtor's snore.
Vainly hoping h? will choke
You may laugh, b-t that's no joke.
This is the electric f. an' motor cars
just whiz.
For a nickel one can ride an' hear the
power siz.
The electric juice is brought for miles
upon a wire.
An' one can't tell dead cold ones from
the live ones hot as fire.
Lome hauls coRt us less than short.
Deep tidewater can't be bought.
Railroads have to wear one yoke.
Water routes are no fool Joke.